Chapter 07
Chapter 07
OGINOME-SAN, predictably, was lying on the mattress in her new home beneath the floor, her diary open. Through the beaded curtain that served as the entrance to her room, one could see her listening to the sounds of Tabuki’s daily life, through headphones attached to the receiver by her pillow. She smacked her cheek, crushing a mosquito that landed on her face, and grinned.
I slowly approached her, my eyebrows already knit in concern.
“Are you, are you plotting something again?” I asked, plopping a hand down on her shoulder.
“Eeek!” She clutched the diary to her chest in shock. The headphones fell from her head.
“When will you get it through your thick skull not to invade other people’s privacy?!” she coughed, trying to ward off the smoke, after shooting me a glare. “What is this? You trying to smoke me out?”
“Just use this for now. The tiger mosquitoes must be terrible down here, right?” I once more offered her the lit mosquito coil.
“There are other ways to get rid of bugs these days!”
Not knowing what else to say, I silently placed the mosquito coil in the corner of Oginome-san’s so-called “new home,” then picked up two teacups off of the nearby tray. I peeked inside to make sure there was no dirt, lightly brushed them off and looked around for some tea to pour into them.
“So, um, how long do you plan on keeping this up?” I poured some green tea into each of the cups from a plastic bottle set among the sweet bread and chocolates.
“Until my plan is finished. I told you about this, didn’t I? Project M!” She peered in the mirror, making sure that the recently dispatched mosquito had not bitten her.
“That M in Project M doesn’t stand for ‘marriage’ or something, does it?” I politely offered Oginome-san a teacup, kneeling and curving my back for some reason. The phrase ‘house husband’ floated unpleasantly through my mind.
“That’s not it at all.”
“I-I see.” I was relieved at her emotionless reply.
She turned back toward me, straightening up her back as far as she could, and added, “Project M is a large-scale creative project, the likes of which you could not even imagine.”
“Creative?” I repeated, even now worried my head might collide with the ceiling.
“Oh, I wonder what Tabuki-san is doing right now,” she suddenly muttered, distracted and ignoring me.
“Well, he lives alone, so he probably watches dirty videos on the internet at night, wouldn’t he?” I muttered.
“Tabuki-san does not watch such things,” she said resolutely, sipping her tea as if this were perfectly obvious.
“I wonder.” Just because she didn’t see it didn’t mean it didn’t happen.
“If you’re finished here, shouldn’t you be heading home?” she said, declaring me a nuisance, a crinkle forming on her nose.
“I am not here because I enjoy it!” I was here because I needed to borrow that diary, the Penguindrum, from her. That’s why I was here, looking out for her like this.
She sneakily pulled out her phone, looking at the screen as if to hide it from me.
“I’m not gonna peek at your phone.”
“You see! He wasn’t watching dirty videos,” she said, then thrust the phone out in front of my eyes. “He was writing a love letter to me!” She smiled, satisfied.
“If you don’t mind, would you like to go see a play with me next Monday? I was given two tickets to a popular show. I think you’ll enjoy it, and it would be a nice break from studying,” I mumbled, reading the text aloud. It was no love letter, but at the very least it could be interpreted as an invitation to a date.
“What a liar, that Tabuki-san, saying someone gave him the tickets. Alright, let’s do this, Ringo! Forward, onto our destiny!” She pumped her fist, which collided with the low ceiling. “Ow!”
“Won’t he get suspicious if you keep making all this noise under the floor?”
It seemed unlikely that he would lie about receiving the tickets. I doubted that a simple man like Tabuki had that kind of imagination. Plus, didn’t he already have that beautiful lady?
There was the graceful and refined Tokikago Yuri-san, kind, with an indomitable smile and good at cooking to boot, who somehow had eyes only for Tabuki. Would someone with a girlfriend like that really be swayed by Oginome-san, even mistakenly?
“Wonder what I should wear?”
I could think of nothing to say to Oginome-san, who clutched her jellyfish pillow in ecstasy, but I hoped she wouldn’t get her hopes up too much.
I flashed a look to Penguin No. 2, who stealthily hunted for sweets. He misread my look and rushed over, handing me a chocolate.
East Ikebukuro Sunshiny Playhouse was a far larger and more impressive place than she imagined.
Sitting in her assigned seat, Ringo’s eyes fell to the playbill in her hands, with an expression like she had just swallowed a fly. The East Ikebukuro Sunshiny Opera Company presents, “Death and Paris—The Tragedy of M.” A photo of Tokikago Yuri, dressed as a queen and with an otokoyaku actress embracing her, was boldly splashed across the front. An extravagant, sparkling chandelier, smattered with crystals, hung from the high ceiling like a joke. Tabuki, sitting beside Ringo, looked incredibly pleased and a little excited.
When Tabuki said that he “was given some tickets,” it had not been a lie.
Ringo had worn a cobalt blue dress, her favorite one. Unlike usual, she paired it with a rather sophisticated-looking handbag. Normally, she wore only lip gloss, but today she perked her eyelashes just slightly with a curler and applied a light coat of mascara. Not that Tabuki noticed in the slightest.
“This is the first time I’m getting to watch this play properly. I’m excited.” Tabuki, clad in an unassuming jacket, smiled, a slight blush forming on his cheeks.
How could his voice be so lacking in malice? Ringo wondered. And why did no one ever consider what a terrible thing it could be to be so kind?
“I see,” Ringo replied with a wry smile.
Finally, the starting announcements came, and the house lights slowly grew dark. The way that they were sucked further and further into darkness resembled the state of Ringo’s heart. It was difficult to breathe.
“It’s starting!” Tabuki said softly, fixing his glasses.
The deep crimson curtain rose along with the music. A spotlight flashed down on the pitch-black stage, to show Tokikago Yuri standing there. This alone brought cheers, sighs, and applause from the audience.
“Oh, there’s Yuri! Heeey!” Tabuki waved his hands innocently.
Ringo subtly pursed her lips, puffing out her cheeks.
The play depicted a striking romantic tragedy. Dazzling dresses and gorgeous voices soaring in song. Ringo kept looking at Tabuki, but his eyes were glued to the stage, to Yuri, leaving Ringo feeling very alone.
Yuri, portraying a heroine toyed with by fate, was dazzling and beautiful. When Ringo first encountered her at Tabuki’s apartment, and when she came to Wadazuka Park, she was always gorgeous, flawless. That alone irritated Ringo and made her feel wretched.
Why would Tabuki invite her to watch this play? As she watched him take out his bird-patterned handkerchief and dab his tears, Ringo’s loneliness grew deeper.
Yuri received a wave of applause from the audience as her voice rang out high. The curtain call ended, the curtains fell, and finally the lights came back up over the seats.
Ringo was exhausted.
“Ah, that was amazing! I’ve still got butterflies,” Tabuki said to Ringo, his eyes and nose reddened, presumably from tears.
“Yeah, me too,” she replied, then bit her lip.
The entrance of the green room was backed up with throngs of female fans holding bouquets and presents. Tabuki pulled Ringo along behind him, purposefully giving the fans a wide berth. If he reached his hand out to her so that they would not be separated, so that she would not get lost, Ringo would have gladly taken it. She would have even been able to forgive the group of shrieking women, she thought, hazily watching Tabuki’s back.
“Gosh, that was so moving. Real live actresses really are amazing. That last line of hers was so good,” said Tabuki, his eyes sparkling, as though he had not yet fully returned from the world of the play.
Suddenly, the fans were abuzz. Yuri appeared, escorted by a male-clothed actress. She wore a slim dress that accentuated the lines of her body, and she smiled gently.
The fans descended on her like an avalanche, pushing Tabuki and Ringo aside.
“Wah, we’ll never get close this way! I wanted to take her to out to eat or something, as a thank you,” Tabuki said with a wry smile. “That’s too bad. Should we go somewhere with just us two?”
Ringo lifted her face with unintentional force. Just the two of them. Tabuki definitely said that just now. Go somewhere, just the two of them. Anywhere was fine. Maybe even somewhere where he could notice that she was slightly more made up than usual. Somewhere where he could plainly see how hard Ringo was trying, wearing her favorite dress.
“Y-yes! I’d love to!” It was a strong reply, leagues more impressive than the calls of staff at a local izakaya. “Let’s go somewhere, just the two of us.”
“Oh sorry, just a sec.” Just then, Tabuki apparently received a message on his phone. “Oh, it’s from Yuri. Says she wants to avoid starting rumors or something. Oh wow, she’s so sensible. She’s already made reservations for a restaurant.” Tabuki looked back, excited.
Ringo glared at Yuri, surrounded by her fans. When Yuri noticed her gaze, she returned a placid smile, waving just her fingertips at her.
“This is perfect, Ringo-chan! It’s an invitation from a star, I’m sure it’ll be her treat!” Tabuki laughed foolishly.
Once again, Tabuki had not the slightest idea how the sweetness in his voice made something crumple in Ringo’s heart.
The restaurant that Yuri booked them for dinner was gorgeous and showy even from its brick façade. When they arrived, still wrapped up in the atmosphere of the theater, it was like delving into an even more profound, sophisticated world.
Tabuki nervously gave the staff the name on the reservation, and with a polite greeting and a quiet smile, an impeccable hostess led them to their seats. The thick carpet covering the floor silenced their footsteps.
There were white tablecloths, and little lamps decorating each of the tables, and red roses. They quietly took their seats in the chairs pulled out by the staff. The other diners nearby were calmly and gracefully enjoying their meals.
The hostess gave a perfunctory “Please enjoy,” and was gone.
The interior furnishings, mostly colored in a wine red, were highlighted here and there with deep gold accents. A dim light passed through the murals etched in the glass on the ceiling, reaching to their hands.
“This place is sort of intimidating,” said Tabuki with a faint smile on his face, looking around nervously.
Frankly, Ringo was a little moved. A world of even greater luxury than the playhouse or the theater itself unfolded before her eyes. Beyond the faint light, Tabuki was nervous, but he was still an “adult,” still far closer to this world than Ringo. He was moving further and further into this world, drawn along by Tokikago Yuri. This was meant to be a message to Ringo, wasn’t it?
A waiter finally appeared, suggesting they might order some aperitifs while waiting for Yuri, but Tabuki refrained.
“So sorry to keep you waiting,” said Yuri as she finally arrived, without a hint of hurry, guided along with a clutch in one hand.
Her freshly applied makeup was understated, but more than enough to make an impression on Yuki’s face, gorgeous in its own right. Her well-made, elegant dress and delicate accessories were nothing compared to her own beauty, and her smile shone like an endless firework, distorting everything one could see.
A sea of gazes followed Yuri as she languidly took her seat at the table with Ringo and Tabuki.
“Look, it’s that actress, Tokikago Yuri!”
“Goodness, she’s even prettier than on TV.”
Ringo could hear every one of the insolent voices, but the actress in question merely took the menu that was brought to her, not caring a whit.
“The two of you must be famished. I was thinking of ordering a prix fixe, but would that be alright? Is there anything you can’t eat?”
“As long as there are no carrots, I’m fine,” said Tabuki, his cheeks reddening, completely taken with Yuri.
“That’s right,” she tittered. “Ringo-chan, what about you?”
“I’m fine with anyything,” she answered in a tiny voice, glancing at Yuri.
As she smoothly gave their order to the waiter, Yuri was so lovely that even the women in the room could not take their eyes off of her. Even the waiter’s cheeks began to redden.
Once she finished ordering, Yuri took a breath, and then a single swallow from her glass of water. Her throat moved silently. In the soft, orange light, her skin looked pale and delicate, and her glossy smile turned slowly toward Ringo.
“Thank you, truly, for coming to watch me today.” Gently, she took Ringo’s hand.
“Of course.” Seeing Yuri’s face so close, Ringo found herself enchanted, flustered.
“Tabuki-kun begged me, he insisted that you absolutely had to see me up on the stage. I hope it wasn’t too much of a bother.” Her eyelids shone with a meticulous liner. Her long, lustrous eyelashes framed jewel-like eyes, which could be clearly seen even from the distant audience. Her hand in Ringo’s was soft.
Without waiting for Ringo to reply, Tabuki said, “Seriously, I loved it. Ringo was totally lost in the story the whole time, too. Right?”
His guileless voice grated at Ringo’s little heart.
“Yes. It was…quite wonderful,” she replied, forcing a smile. She pulled her hand swiftly away from Yuri’s and unconsciously shifted slightly away.
Why did she have to start blushing when Yuri of all people gazed at her? Especially since this could be some sinister plot on Yuri’s part, using her status as an actress to get Ringo to give up on Tabuki.
Tokikago Yuri was an actress. She could probably muster a kind smile in front of anyone. There was no doubt behind that beautiful glass mask, she concealed the true soul of a killer whale, a predator that slunk through the raging seas of the entertainment world. She had cosumed countless prey before now, and was always on the prowl, watching for the right moment to gobble up her target.
Tabuki had been thoroughly deceived, smiling within her trap, and that was no good. This wolfish woman had surely risen to her position through some nefarious means, and if you scratched the surface, you’d find a darkness in her body and soul. Tabuki, weak and innocent, would surely be swallowed whole.
“How about next Monday?” Tabuki suddenly asked.
Ringo jerked back to her senses with a “Huh?”
“Are you free?” he asked.
“I’ve been planning a little party,” said Yuri, smiling gently. “You’ll come, won’t you Ringo-chan? You can even bring that cute boyfriend of yours from the other day, Takakura-kun, was it?”
“That was not my boyfriend!” Ringo protested, louder than intended. That Yuri would bring this up in front of Tabuki was just more evidence of the dark nature churning within her.
“Oh dear, really? That’s too bad. I thought you made a lovely couple.” She cast her gaze at Tabuki, looking for assurance.
“Well, that’s alright. You can invite Takakura anyway. He’s a fellow birdwatcher, after all. He definitely has an interest in wild birds,” said Tabuki, positively elated.
That was not how she wanted him to smile at her. That first night. Of course, it had only been in her imagination, but his kindness had been incomparable. In her mind, he gazed at Ringo with warm, glistening eyes and stroked her hair. He complimented her, told her that the slight fierceness of her gaze was adorable, and he held Ringo tight, so that they would not grow cold.
He could not be here in this flashy world of adults, clinking glasses with this black-hearted whale woman and happily discussing parties. It seemed fake, like a movie.
“Then it’s decided,” said Yuri, once more lifting her wine glass.
Tabuki lifted his glass in turn. “Cheers,” he said, smiling wide.
Ringo slammed her tepidly raised glass of iced tea down on the table.
“Are you alright?” asked Yuri. “I know the play was long, perhaps you’re a bit worn out.” Suddenly, her long, white fingers brushed Ringo’s cheek.
Ringo looked at her in shock. She felt her cheeks unwittingly growing hot.
“That dress you’re wearing today is terribly cute, but make sure you dress up for the party as well,” Yuri added.
For a moment, Ringo was unsure if she was saying this seriously, or out of malice.
The dress that she had so carefully chosen had been called cute but once today, and of all people, it was by that loathsome, black-hearted whale woman.
In the spacious courtyard, surrounded by a moonlit white mansion, the sounds of a live string ensemble resounded. The electric lights woven through the trees shone like scattered jewels. This was by no means just a “little” party.
People in formal wear passed between the round tables and numerous catering carts, champagne glasses in hand. In the middle of this stood Oginome-san, wearing a red floral print dress, with a similarly red headband upon her head, and myself, wearing my best jacket, with a folded-up shopping bag in my pocket out of habit, each of us holding a glass of orange juice. At my feet was Penguin No. 2, chomping devotedly on some food it requisitioned from somewhere.
“This place is kind of amazing,” I said. It was like Christmas, out of season, or a theme park at night. At any rate, I had never seen such a sight. It was a beautiful, otherworldly, balmy evening.
There was a stirring amongst the guests, and I looked up in time to see Tokikago Yuri enter the terrace from the house. Her swept-up hair was decorated with a white lily, and she wore a long, pearly pink gown that showed her shoulders, frills flowing abundantly from the chest. A string of diamonds swayed from each of her ear lobes, glittering and refracting the light.
“Oh, it’s Yuri-san.” Shoma straightened up. “Wow, she’s even more sparkly today.”
“Hmph! Everyone’s just fooled by that woman’s appearance!” Oginome-san crossed her arms, seeming particularly displeased, and chugged her glass of juice in a single gulp.
“This again? Look, why don’t you just give it up already? There’s no way you can win with a rival like that.” Unfortunately, this was my sincere opinion. Even leaving aside the fact that she was an accomplished actress, Tokikago Yuri was exceedingly beautiful, kind, and sincere. She was also calm, or at the very least, she would not glare at anyone like Oginome-san glared at me, laying her emotions bare.
“Don’t be stupid! Everyone’s just fussing over her because she’s an actress. I know far more about Tabuki-san, anyway!”
Oginome-san snapped her hand open, and started counting on her fingers, babbling insecurely. “I know what time he wakes up, and that he loves his toast with lots of marmalade, and what toothpaste brand he prefers. I know he’s good at making vegetable stir-fry, and a little bad at discarding the water from a yakisoba cup. I know what tunes he’s been whistling lately, and what kind of things he says in his sleep. I’m the only one who knows all of this!”
I could not listen to anymore of this nonsense. I overcame my embarrassment at being just a terribly average high school boy and called softly to a nearby waiter. I had only reluctantly agreed to come along because I’d been told there would be lots of good food. My house husbandly heart filled with sadness of wanting to let Himari and Kanba eat some of this food as well.
“Excuse me, this red dish and this yellow thing here, how many could I have packed up to take home with me?” I pointed to the dishes heaped up on one of the round tables, the names of which I did not know.
“Hang on, what are you doing?! That’s so embarrassing!” Oginome-san shouted, walking briskly over.
“I’m taking some home to Himari! Also, do you think I could get an autograph from Yuri-san? I brought an autograph board.”
She grabbed my ear and tugged hard.
“Owww!”
“Were you listening to a word I was just saying?!” she grumbled in my ear.
“I was listening!”
“Then you understand, don’t you?” The tone of her voice suddenly dropped. “Just what exactly did you assume I brought you here for?”
“What for…?” As I considered her question, I continued my appeal to the waiter. “Oh, also, could I ask for one of those cake-y things?” I gave him a stupid smile. The waiter grimaced in reply.
Hearing this, Oginome-san yanked on my ear even harder.
“Owwwwwwww!”
“You’re here to watch and make sure that black widow doesn’t get any closer to Tabuki-san!” she said in a loud whisper.
“But that’s ridiculous.” I looked at Yuri-san, who was making rounds amongst her guests, offering them polite greetings. But convincing you to go along with her ridiculous plans was just a terrifying superpower that Oginome-san wielded.
“The diary. You want to borrow it, don’t you?” It helped that she already had solid leverage against me.
“I do.” I hung my head, finally released. Just how far would I have to go before she was satisfied?
Though I had told her to give up, given that her rival was someone as amazing at Tokikago Yuri, it wouldn’t be that simple if she really loved Tabuki. Still, judging by her progress so far, the issue here wasn’t what she’d learned about through her stalking. Even she should know that, deep down.
Suddenly everyone’s attention was drawn to the sound of interference from the microphone.
On a little stage that had been erected in front of the house stood a striking, short-haired woman, wearing a tuxedo. She was more than likely an otokoyaku actress from the East Ikebukuro Sunshiny Opera Company. She stood quietly before the microphone, looking sharper and more masculine than I certainly did.
“Ahem, we know that the night is currently in full swing, and everyone here is busy enjoying themselves, but now, Tokikago Yuri has a very important announcement to make.”
Even her voice had a manly ring, and I had to wonder if it was intentional.
“Come, my love!”
As I stood there, moved by the woman and her quip that would have been unthinkable for any man, and the power of the Sunshiny Opera Company, the music swelled. Yuri-san ascended the stage, the ends of her dress fluttering marvelously. She bowed deeply, and applause rose as she lifted her head.
“Everyone, thank you sincerely for taking the time out of your busy day to join me here.”
The applause gradually silenced.
“Now then, I know this is sudden, but I have gathered you all here today to announce that after finishing the tour currently underway, I will be retiring from the East Ikebukuro Sunshiny Opera Company.”
The crowd stirred in surprise.
I was shocked as well, and looked at Oginome-san, to see that her eyes were open wide. She had just condemned the woman for being fussed over for being an actress, and now it looked like she was quitting being an actress, after all.
“And, there is one more thing.” Yuri-san looked to the side of the stage. There, approaching timidly, was Tabuki, dressed in thoroughly unsuited formalwear. “I would like to introduce you all to someone. This is Tabuki Keiju-san, and I am honored to announce that just the other day, we became engaged!”
There was an instant of silence before the applause erupted, along with the cries of “Congratulations” and “Best wishes!” Yuri-san held back tears, her face reddening, and Tabuki grinned bashfully.
“Thank you so much. I will be retiring from the stage in order to start a new life with the man I love, but the irreplaceable treasures I acquired there will always live on in my heart, both as a person, and as a woman.”
Yuri-san bowed her head deeply, her throat tightening with a rush of tears.
Tabuki smiled at her, similarly moved, and placed a hand on her back.
My jaw dropped. This was not the commotion one would expect of a “little party.” This story would definitely be all over the entertainment news tomorrow morning.
“Stop! Stooop! Banish this gloom from such a joyous occasion!” said the woman in the tuxedo. Her beautiful voice echoed across the entire grounds, as she held Yuri-san tight. “Let blessings rain down upon my most beloved partner and this dreadful man who is stealing her away from me!” She spread her arms cheerfully, pretending to strike Tabuki on the shoulder.
The grounds erupted in laughter.
Oginome-san had frozen, her hand still gripping my ear. I tentatively turned to look at her. Her hand swayed from my ear like a pendulum.
Just as I wondered whether or not I should say something to her, she fell backward as though struck, inadvertently sending Penguin No. 2, who devoured the hors d’oeuvres piled on the table behind us, scrambling to get out of her way.
The string ensemble changed into a lively dance number, but we were unable to dance.
It was quiet on the train, with only the steady vibration and noise moving us. We were speechless for a while. Oginome-san sat in a seat separate from us, as if cornered, clutching to the handrail as though for dear life.
I had never comforted a broken-hearted girl. I never even had my heart broken myself. Honestly, I felt the urge to rub salt into her wound. However, for Himari’s sake I would have to go along with this.
“Um so, about the diary,” I finally started, speaking my mind. “Given the recent developments, you don’t really need it anymore, do you?”
The silence was more awkward than I predicted, and fell heavy on my shoulders. I would have far preferred the usual irrational words she threw my way to this.
“I mean, look, Tabuki’s gone, engaged to Yuri-san. There’s no room for you to get between them anymore.” My grip on the paper bag I received from the waiter tightened slightly.
“No,” she said softly, to no one. “This sort of thing is no setback to Project M. Victory is still within my grasp, and I am the one who will live with Tabuki-san under one roof.” Her voice was hoarse and weak.
“Under one roof?” So that was her end goal after all, the dream she trying to force into reality. The fact that she coerced me to help stung, but she certainly was not living with him or anything like that.
“Plus, there’s still more to the diary. That is proof. The fate that binds he and I. Yes, this is nothing more than a test of our love.” Her face, as she lifted it, was no longer pale or clouded.
I had begun to empathize with her the slightest bit, but now I was stunned beyond words. This went beyond mere optimism. She really was a stalker, after all. This was the hollow shell of a self-centered, one-sided love, where she could only interpret everything that was happening as being in her favor.
“By the way.” She stared at me, a devilish look in her eye. “How old are you?” I had seen that particular grin plenty of times before, but now it sent a shiver down my spine. I got the sense that nothing good was coming my way.
As the bizarre comedy of Shoma and Ringo unfolded, on a train several lines over, Kanba checked the contents of an envelope.
“Looks right. Now we can stay in our house for a while longer.” He stuffed the envelope into his pocket and continued, “And then…”
From the opposite pocket, he drew out that burnt black ball.
“There are only so many people who use these. I don’t suppose this particular sequence of events is your doing?” he asked. He carefully watched the person he was addressing, paying more attention to their reaction than their answer itself. However, even his sharp gaze missed the sight of Natsume Masako, who observed him from the next car over.
Standing by the wall, Masako was enrapt in Kanba’s voice.
“Goodness, we’d better crush him soon,” she whispered, gently rubbing her index finger and thumb together. She spun around, looking at Kanba’s back out of the corner of her eye.
In her bag, her phone vibrated, right on time. She pulled it out and put it to her ear.
“Yes, I’m making the delivery now. Understood. I’ll continue things on this end. Project M must be achieved.”
There was no beauty at all in such simple, businesslike exchanges, Masako thought, but her conversation partner had absolutely no use for exchanging beautiful words. She breathed a little sigh and slipped the phone back into her bag.
Despite how stylish the building seemed during the day, the school at night had a dreadful atmosphere. All I wanted was to get home before the doggy bag the waiter packed for me got damaged.
Oginome-san, always needlessly prepared, took a small flashlight from her handbag, shining it at our feet as she led me along. I would never have imagined that I would be setting foot in Oukagyoen Girls’ High School in such circumstances.
We cut through the wide, expansive courtyard and entered the building, hurrying down the utterly silent hallway.
“Hey, is this really okay?” Penguin No. 2, at my feet, clung to my legs in fear. It was difficult to walk like that, so I had begrudgingly bent down to pick it up.
“It’s fine. I looked at the guard rotation. Even if we get caught, I can just say I forgot something and came back to get it, and we should be fine.”
Oginome-san must have intended on dragging me into the school at night from the beginning. I doubted she just happened to have packed a flashlight and looked up the guards’ rotation just because she was a stalker.
“In your case, maybe! A high school boy sneaking into a girls’ school at night is totally…” I trailed off when I saw a doorplate reading, “Special Girls’ Changing Room.” What was so special about it? Not that it mattered, since going in was completely out of the question. Perverted. A special kind of perverted.
I nervously followed her for a while, when suddenly she came to a halt.
“We’re here. Though I’d hoped to end things without doing this.”
I looked up to see we were at the science lab. My face twitched as I imagined dangerous chemicals and experiments. It was harrowing to know that I was the only one in a position who might be able to stop to Oginome-san’s reckless behavior.
As quietly as possible, we entered the pitch-dark lab. Oginome-san opened the curtains one after the other. As she did, the once dark classroom flooded with the light of the full moon, illuminating what looked like a magic circle made of fluorescent paint on a large lab table.
“Wh-what is this?” I stumbled back, my lower back colliding with the table just behind me.
Ignoring my question, she lit a candle and pulled off the cloth covering something square on another table, like a magician. Beneath it was a terrarium, with a large, bizarrely colored toad.
“Whoa, a toad?”
No. 2’s eyes flashed at the toad from my arms. It leaned forward and tumbled onto the floor.
Oginome-san took out a laptop and booted it up, loading a page that read “Dulcamara’s School of Magic Potions.” When she clicked through, it had a photo of a toad, just like the one in the terrarium, along with an explanation.
“Read this,” she said, handing me the laptop before double-checking the markings in her magic circle.
“The Tamahomare Toad is a miraculous toad, emerging from underground once every sixteen years. On the night of the full moon, have this toad lay its eggs on the back of a sixteen-year-old male. The powder made from drying and crushing those eggs can be made into a love potion, and when two people drink it, they will be bound eternally in love,” I read earnestly, in a soft voice. “This thing reeks. Where did you even find this toad? Don’t tell me you painted this thing yourself?” I grimaced reflexively.
The toad’s head was a brilliant green, its belly yellow, and the rest of its body was covered in black spots. Its eyes were huge and jet black, and bizarre markings trailed across its back. It definitely did not look like something that would appear in Japan in autumn.
“Obviously not. Now, strip,” she said, as though this were perfectly obvious.
“Huh? Strip?”
“Did you not read it? The Tamahomare Toad is going to lay its eggs on your back!” Her eyes glinted as she donned a pair of rubber gloves.
“Huh?!” The sixteen-year-old male in question was me?!
“You want the diary, don’t you? For Himari’s sake.”
“I… do. But—”
“Then strip.”
Despite an expression suggesting that she hated this as much as me, Oginome-san reached into the terrarium and timidly picked up the toad.
Feeling as though I was about to cry, I quietly removed my jacket.
In the center of the magic circle, I lay on my belly, bare from the waist up, with candles standing in each direction. The desk was chilly, the huge, slimy toad sat atop my back, and Oginome-san hurled abuse at me every time I moved a muscle. It was cold and absolutely miserable. I felt like I was being tortured, or else laid out like some kind of sacrifice.
“That’s weird. It’s already been two hours, but it hasn’t laid a single egg!”
Oginome-san slammed the desk in frustration, narrowing her eyes and looking at me like a mad scientist, twisting her neck back toward the laptop and reading over the instructions again.
“It’s for Himari, it’s for Himari, it’s for Himari,” I muttered. If I kept chanting at that rate, I just might have attained spiritual enlightenment.
“It looks like the ideal birthing temperature is one hundred and seven degrees.” She turned around, asking me sincerely, “Can you do that?”
“I cannot,” I denied.
After that, using every available lab apparatus, somehow the surrounding air temperature was raised to over a hundred degrees. Buckets of sweat poured off me, and I felt nauseous. Oginome-san held a hair dryer in both hands, blowing hot air directly onto the toad, which croaked strangely and fidgeted on my back.
“That’s it, just a little more! Hee-hee-hoo! Hee-hee-hoo!”
“It’s…for Himari!”
Just as I was ready to give up entirely, casting my eyes to the brilliant full moon outside as if throwing myself upon its mercy, the toad made a strange sound from my back, and laid a mass of lukewarm, viscous eggs.
“Eeek! There they are! That’s so gross!” Oginome-san screamed, shutting her eyes.
Well, obviously, I thought, twisting my neck to check just what miserable state my back had been left in.
“Ah!”
I noticed No. 2’s acute interest in the toad, but…did penguins normally eat toads? With a fire blazing in its eyes, No. 2 waddled over, and before I had time to stop it, it cleaned off my back in a single slurp.
“You little…” I looked at its face, dumbfounded, just in time to see the last trace of the toad’s leg disappear into its beak.
“Huh? What? Where are the eggs? Where’s the toad?” Finally opening her eyes, Oginome-san raised her voice in confusion.
No. 2 panicked and swallowed.
“Hey, what happened? Where is my Tamahomare Toad…?”
There was no way I could possibly explain.
“Wh-who knows? It probably magically set off to somewhere far away?” I stretched out languidly on the desk in exhaustion. “Where did it go, I wonder?” I said, glancing at No. 2. If No. 2 had been visible to Oginome-san, she probably would have burned it at the stake.
“But why? I wonder if I didn’t draw the circle well enough. I checked it so many times…” she sighed, all the determination drained out of her.
No. 2 rubbed its belly in satisfaction.
“Let’s go home already,” I squeaked. “You’ve done all you can, right? Please, just let me go home.”
“Survival Tactiiiic!!!”
The gust of white frills swept the takeaway boxes, me—finally feeling clean after washing the toad’s sticky remains from my back—and my brother, sour-faced as ever, away to that alternate space.
“Surely, you worthless nothings have been told! You must obtain the Penguindrum!”
No matter how many times I saw it, I never got used to the sight of Himari in that black penguin dress. Her red eyes gazed sharply at us.
“Look, this is impossible! Tabuki got engaged to Yuri-san, so there’s no way Oginome-san and Tabuki will get together! Plus, I faced terrible horrors tonight! I thought I was gonna die!” I gestured wildly, trying to convey to her how awful it had been.
Penguin Hat walked forward, her boots clacking slowly across the not-quite-there floor.
“Hmph. It is your duty, my servants, to do something about that.”
“Enough already! I can’t be around that occultist psycho anymore!” I pouted. It was completely unfair that my brother had somehow managed to avoid dealing with Oginome-san’s madness.
“Come to think of it, didn’t that M plan or whatever refer to marriage?”
“Mm-hm.” I nodded, puffing out my cheeks.
“There’s still a possibility.” Kanba put his hand to his chin.
Penguin Hat looked to Kanba.
“The essential point here is that Oginome Ringo wants to have some kind of relationship with Tabuki, right?”
“This again?” My face cramped.
“In that case, there might still be something we can do. Guys can get cold feet, after all. Tabuki is a man, so if we hit that weak point just right, there might be a chance for one night’s indiscretion,” Kanba said with a grin.
Relations, indiscretion…it was impressive how easily those words just flowed from his mouth.
“Aniki, you are making a suuuper creepy face right now.”
“Then do it! Servant Two!” Penguin Hat pointed at me, as though completely on board.
“Huh? Me?” I looked at Kanba, wondering if he wasn’t better equipped to handle these kinds of things, but he averted his gaze.
“Hang on, Aniki!”
“You do it. There’s other stuff I need to do,” he said, evading my complaints with a bizarre seriousness.
“Obviously, you useless fool! You don’t get to choose the means. You and Oginome Ringo fight, and entice Tabuki! One strike! Two! Three!”
“Stop making Himari say—” I was already anticipating it, but I still forced out the words. The floor opened with a snapping sound, and the hole into which I was to fall opened. “—such filthy thiiiings!!!”
“Shall we initiate the Survival Tactic?!”
I could not bear to see the Penguin Hat in my sister’s form, saying such things and gesturing that way. Our little sister was pure.
How could someone as pure as me, with a pure little sister like her, facilitate some kind of ‘one-night indiscretion’ between Oginome-san and Tabuki?
Late that night, Tabuki Keiju brushed his teeth, wearing his white pajamas with a swan pattern. The sound of this reached Oginome Ringo, who had taken up residence beneath the floorboards.
Ringo, who wore only a soft, gauzy nightgown over her bare skin, went through her own bedtime routine, and opened her diary with those sounds of daily life as her background music.
She relied too much on dubious methods. It was a mistake to put her faith in those magic circles and toads and whatnot. She sucked with those kinds of things anyway, and dealing with a toad that big creeped her out.
“Today marks one whole month of living with Tabuki-kun. We haven’t once had a quarrel. He really is my soulmate,” she read aloud, taking a breath. Thus far, everything written in the diary had come true. And yet, if that was so, then why had Tabuki and Tokikago Yuri gotten engaged?
Ringo looked quietly up at the ceiling and touched the photo of Tabuki’s smiling face. Her fingers traced from his cheeks to his lips. Tabuki was right above her. In this way, he and Ringo were together. She could not grow weak now. Fate was absolutely on her, Tabuki, and Momoka’s side.
Ringo cuddled her jellyfish pillow and buried her face in it, calmed by the sounds Tabuki made, and rested her body until it was time to execute her midnight project.
She tracked the passing time on her peach-colored alarm clock. As the night grew deeper, a thundering rain began to fall, and Ringo wrapped herself in her sheets, shivering from the cold. Winter was steadily approaching. Again and again, she reapplied her lip balm, and gazed at the pale peach polish painted on her nails. Everything was in order, her preparations complete.
She picked up the diary from beside her pillow and flipped it open. She looked firmly down at the page, where the words, “Project M = Maternity: Huge Success!” in Momoka’s childish handwriting. Ringo steeled her determination and took a deep breath.
“I’m going to bear Tabuki-san’s child. That’s right! This will be true, supreme proof of our undying love!”
Thunder rumbled violently. On nights like these, a woman wanted to sleep in the protective embrace of her beloved. There was no mistaking that fate deemed this night appropriate.
Ringo knew that there was a single floorboard in Tabuki’s apartment that could be opened. She pushed firmly from underneath with her full strength, noisily prying up the board. She carefully slid the floorboard away and crawled up onto the floor. There was a sliding door between the dark, silent kitchen and the bedroom. Beyond it would be Tabuki, asleep. Ringo held her breath, clutching the breast of her nightgown, and slowly approached the screen.
As might be expected, Ringo was nervous. In the back of her mind, a loop of unverifiable information played, gleaned from magazines and comics and friends of friends, about what someone’s “first time” would be like. But the reality wouldn’t matter; as long as there was love, nothing else mattered. Even if it was scary, she would see it through.
“When the future becomes reality, everything dear to me will become eternal,” she said in a tiny voice.
Slowly, she opened the screen, and once more there was a great peal of thunder. Lightning illuminated Ringo’s face and the room for just a moment. Ringo slowly stood, walking to the futon. The room smelled of sleep.
She smoothly undid the decorative ribbon at her chest, undoing the little buttons one by one, letting the gown slide from her slender shoulders. The cloth falling to the floor made a soft noise.
Though shrinking back at the thunder, she forcefully pulled back the blankets where Tabuki would be sleeping, only to find it deserted. “No,” she whispered in a strangled voice, staring speechless at the slightly crumpled blankets. There by the pillow were a small plush bird, and a cute plush egg, sitting in a row.