Chapter 08

Chapter 08

 

I STARED AT THE ROUND CLOCK above Tabuki’s head as he spoke in front of the blackboard. Soon enough, the day’s lessons—my only relatively tranquil time these days—would be over.

“Now then, we’re soon going to start studying genetics. It’s a slightly complicated subject, so everyone be sure to read through your textbooks ahead of time,” said Tabuki, drawing things to a close and slamming his textbook shut.

While waiting for the closing signals of “Stand up! Bow!” to end, Tabuki let out a big yawn. My classmates scattered and left the classroom.

It was hard to believe that this disheveled, bespectacled, bird-crazy schoolteacher had gotten engaged to a popular actress, and moreover was the object of affection of a high school girl like Oginome-san, who really wasn’t so bad herself, at least as far as appearances went. There are so many mysteries in this world.

While Tabuki rubbed the dirty blackboard eraser atop the cleaner, he rubbed his eyes sleepily. Then, he let out another giant yawn, this time without trying to hide it.

“You look pretty tired, Sensei.”

I worried about what Oginome-san’s next move would be. That night, after having failed at making her weird potion from those toad eggs, she’d told me that she was going to try a more direct method.

A direct method, such as confessing to Tabuki out of the blue, or chasing after him, ripping her clothes off, or something like that. Maybe if he rejected her outright, she would actually give up. In that case, maybe she would lend us the diary. On the one hand, the penguin-hatted queen and my brother foisted the plan of giving Tabuki cold feet off onto me. I was disinclined to do anything unreasonable, if at all possible. The only move I could make now was to press Tabuki for information.

“Oh, Takakura. Looks like you caught me looking foolish.” He laughed softly, stopping the cleaner.

“Guess you’re really busy preparing for the wedding, huh?” I noticed faint dark circles under his eyes, but he did not appear to be ill.

“No, it’s something else. Last night was kind of a big ordeal.” He scratched his head.

“A big ordeal? Don’t tell me something huge crawled out from under your floorboards or something? Like, some black, human-sized shadow that came for you?” I asked, slightly frantic.

“Floorboards? What are you talking about? Have you been watching too many horror movies?” He placed the now clean eraser on top of the lectern.

By some measures, if Oginome-san had come out from under the floor, it would have been a horror movie. But I was relieved to hear that she apparently had not yet enacted her next scheme.

“Well, you said something big happened last night.” What could have been that big a deal, then? I could not ask so bluntly, but just then, my brother passed by.

“So it was a more adult kind of evening?” Kanba asked with a grin, leaning on the lectern.

“Wh-what are you saying, Aniki?!”

“No, that would’ve been nice, though,” said Tabuki a bit awkwardly, scratching his head profusely. His already disheveled hair became even more unruly.

“H-huh? Then last night, you and Yuri-san didn’t…Fabulous Max it?” I lowered my voice.

“Hey now, this is a school, Takakura!” Tabuki said, so jovial and friendly that I could practically see the sparkling emoji at the end of his words. Did that mean that if we weren’t at school, he would have happily discussed the details of that “fabulous max” with us?

“Sensei, please instruct dear little Shoma here about the ‘biology’ of men and women,” said Kanba with a stern expression and a solemn air, but flashing a grin as he looked at me.

“Okay, okay, very well.”

“Well, Shoma, listen closely,” said Kanba, waving a hand as he left the classroom.

Honestly, the moment he stepped out of the house, Kanba said everything that he would never say in front of Himari. I don’t think he did it intentionally, though he also wasn’t the type to avoid offending other people.

My nose wrinkled as I glared at Kanba, who urged me on secretly from outside of the classroom.

“So, Sensei, last night?” I said.

“What? You’re really persistent. I mean, there was just some flooding in the house. Yuri called me suddenly, and we both ran around like crazy. But it’s a new place, so thankfully it didn’t end up being that big of an issue.”

“New place?” I looked back at him. “Sensei, are you moving?”

While straightening up his handouts and the class roll, he pulled out a postcard and handed it to me.

“Here you go. When things calm down, you and Ringo should come and hang out.”

On the postcard was a moving notice. It featured a large photo of Tabuki and Yuri-san wearing matching, intensely garish bird t-shirts, snuggled together and smiling.

Once I thought about it, Tabuki’s apartment was probably too cramped for two people to live in, and more importantly, the person moving in with him was Tokikago Yuri. Moving seemed like a natural step. That said, the fact that she would wear a t-shirt like that just for him also meant that she was a wonderful, big-hearted, and unpretentious person.

“On that note, I’m moving today, actually, so that invitation might come sooner than you think.” Tabuki grinned, his cheeks steadily reddening. He certainly didn’t look like someone likely to get cold feet. “I wonder how the contractors are coming along right now.”

“Congratulations,” I said dazedly.

Tabuki was moving out of his apartment. I was sure that this would be vital information for Oginome-san to hear.

 

After school the next day, I accompanied Oginome-san to Tabuki’s apartment. Already cleared of belongings, the place was empty and surprisingly spacious. Nobody would be able to listen to the dull sounds of his life here from underneath the floorboards.

Oginome-san went to the curtainless window and stopped dead, speechless. Then, she weakly muttered, “No way,” and collapsed delicately on the spot.

“I think it’s time for you to give up, now,” I said to her, stretching out next to Penguin No. 2, in what probably used to be the kitchen. “Starting today, Tabuki and Yuri-san are living together in a new condo. So, it’s time to—”

Oginome-san persisted, cutting me off.

“No way. That can’t be possible.” She was still on the floor, not moving.

“Enough is enough, it’s time to face reality! Tabuki is never coming back here. I don’t know about this fate diary or whatever, but no matter what schemes you’ve cooked up in your wild imagination, it’s never going to happen!”

My voice suddenly went wild in irritation, and I sat down beside her, peering at her face. Her eyes were staring somewhere far beyond the window. At the edges of her eyelids, her long eyelashes were trembling faintly.

“Are you listening?”

The only thing you could see from the first floor of the apartment building was the plain view of a residential district—it was overwhelmingly boring. There were cinderblock walls and telephone poles and waste disposal spots, and someone’s broken-down old bike.

“No. That can’t be. This diary. This diary is my and Momoka’s…” She twisted her body and pulled the diary out from her schoolbag. “That’s impossible.”

I wondered if she was going to start crying. I wondered what I ought to do if she did, but she did not. She just slowly closed her eyelids, and went quiet for several seconds, as though she were about to go to sleep. Then, she let the diary thunk onto the floor.

“Let’s go home. I’ll help you move your things from under the floor again.” I picked up the diary. “And also, um, I’m not sure how to say this, but I hope you can find a more honest romance next time. Your mother’s going to worry if you keep doing such dangerous things.”

Oginome-san sat up, slowly opening her eyes, and stared at me as though I said something distasteful.

“Don’t touch that without permission,” she said, snatching the diary from my hands and shoving it back into her bag. Then she stood straight up, smoothed her uniform, adjusted the pleats of her skirt, and quickly fixed her hair with her hands.

“Oginome-san?” I looked up at her, still sitting. That fierce light returned to her eyes.

“This diary is special. It’s impossible for things to stray from the fate predicted here.” She put her shoes on in the entryway ahead of me, turned back, and said, “Hurry up.”

“What’s with you? You were just on the floor!” My complaints fell on deaf ears as she opened the front door and left without me.

I let out a sigh, and looked at Penguin No. 2, who was trying to tilt its nonexistent neck up to look at me.

“A broken heart is a terrible thing.”

As I slowly stood, I took another look around the empty room. The bleached wallpaper and tatami. The smell of wood and insect repellent.

I felt bad for Oginome-san, but there was nothing to be done. With such joy on their faces, it was clear that Tabuki and Yuri-san were ready to start building a family together, hand in hand. They would eat meals together, and sleep together, and live with one another, seeing each other’s vexing parts and wonderful parts and beautiful parts and not-so-beautiful parts, until they finally grew old together. That was a wonderful thing, and no matter how cursed anyone might think their relationship was, they were sure to be happy.

Just as Kanba and I felt about Himari, there was no doubting that Tabuki knew deep in his heart that as long as he took Yuri-san’s pale hand in his, and never let it go, then they would be happy.

“Now then.”

It was time to move the luggage under the floor. I followed Oginome-san, leaving Tabuki’s empty apartment behind. If we didn’t hurry, the sun would set before we knew it.

 

Himari embroidered the curtains while watching the evening news. On the red curtains, she made letters and flowers and fish, and the patterns spread by the day.

“Tokikago Yuri, who recently announced her engagement to an unknown gentleman, will take the stage tomorrow for her final run in her countrywide tour. Apparently, the theater has been bombarded with inquiries from fans devastated by the star’s retirement. According to Tokikago-san herself, her new fiancé is a kind person who loves animals. He must be a wonderful fellow,” said the female newscaster, cheerfully wrapping up the segment.

“So Tokikago-san really is retiring! I was such a fan. That’s too bad, isn’t it, San-chan?” Himari muttered, in a voice that suggested she wasn’t sure if that was too bad or not. She stroked Penguin No. 3, peering into its face for confirmation. Atop No. 3’s head was an artificial flower crown.

On the table sat three steaming teacups. Himari stood in front of it, stretching and contracting her arms and legs and spinning them around. Now and then, she spun herself, too. Maybe it was a strange dance, or some new game with No. 3, or perhaps some form of exercise.

It was pleasant to watch, and a grin grew naturally on my face.

I stood beside Kanba in the kitchen, listening to Himari’s joyful sounds through the open sliding door, breathing in the steam rising from the pot. It would be finished soon.

“So you’re sayin’ that cold feet plan was a bust?” Kanba asked quietly.

“You saw for yourself how he talks about her! Should he even be talking that way to students?”

Tonight was a little bit chilly, so we were making special soup, stewing up the rest of the vegetables in the fridge, partly to clean it out.

“No choice then. In that case, it’s time for some drastic measures,” he said, wiping his hands on his apron.

“Drastic measures?” I repeated, briefly wondering what those could be.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but your methods are too slow, Shoma. You can’t go along with every one of that stalker girl’s wild delusions. You need to hurry up and just take that thing.” His tone was as detached as ever.

It was true, my methods were different from his. I resolved to save my sister, but playing with other people’s lives was, I felt, somehow too much. But I understand how my brother, who could not accept this, felt. We would never get the Penguindrum in our hands if we played by the rules.

“Saying ‘if you play with fire, you’ll get burned,’ is just a figure of speech. People see how weak you are and just walk all over you,” Kanba spat.

“But I don’t want to just take something from her,” I eked out.

“What? You feelin’ sorry for that pervert girl or something?” His tone was cold.

“Huh? Obviously not! And why would you put it that way?!”

“Are you even serious about saving Himari?”

“You’re the one who’s always pushing Oginome-san off on me! Where have you been running off to? And why?” How many of her crazy plans had I been subject to while Kanba was away?

“Sounds like a fight’s a-brewin’!” Himari said from behind us.

“Wah! Himari, how long have you been standing there?” I raised my voice, looking at her.

“Anything I can help with?” she asked, sliding between us and looking at each of our faces with a grin. That innocence of hers calmed my heart.

“No way. We’re taking care of dinner today. You gotta wait until it’s finished!” said Kanba with a smile, slamming a lid onto the pot.

“Really? I see…” Himari’s lips pursed, but she obediently retreated several steps, then added softly, “You two have been gone all the time lately, and now you’re fighting. I might just collapse again from loneliness.”

Kanba whirled back toward Himari with shocking force.

“I-I’m sorry, Himari! We weren’t fighting or anything, right?” He looked me in the eyes, not dropping his strained smile.

“O-of course not. We were just having a disagreement about preferences for seasonings, right?” I got the feeling I was not as good at deception as my brother. Even if I got better at lying, I  always chickened out in the end. I wasn’t sure if that was a virtue or a flaw.

“Really? Well, that’s good, but…” Himari gave a teasing grin. “No fighting.”

“C’mon, I told you we weren’t fighting!” Kanba forcefully wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

“Alright, now, you wait out there until it’s done, Princess!” I pushed Himari hurriedly back into the parlor.

“Whaaat? Boo, that’s boring,” she sulked, returning to in front of the TV. “Wanna play something, San-chan?”

“Anyway,” whispered Kanba, “The next time you mess up, I’m gettin’ in there and taking it by force. Got it? For Himari!”

“Understood. For Himari!” I repeated, as if assuring myself.

Our goal was to be happy. To live as one big family, happy and healthy and getting along. When we were little, that seemed like such a simpler thing to achieve, accomplished by simple means. But now we knew. Everyone worked very hard to achieve a normal life. Laughing, crying, eating, and sleeping normally required an immense effort. And we were stuck halfway down that difficult path.

“Huh? That smell, you sure this isn’t burning?” I looked in the pot, and quickly added more water.

“It’s still edible,” Kanba said calmly, stirring it with a ladle.

We knew each other well. We were doing well.

 

***

 

A little girl ran around the aquarium, along with her beloved father. Every tank was full of beautiful fish and kelp. Of them all, the penguins, tottering around happily, were some of the cutest.

When they arrived at the gift shop, the girl spotted it, as though she had been drawn in.

 

“Uwah! Papa! Hurry, hurry! Look, look! This penguin has an apple!”

“You’re right! It’s probably just a coincidence, but it’s like this charm was made for you.”

“Hey, Papa…”

“Well, I guess I’ve got no choice. Let’s get a set, then, for Papa and Mama and Ringo!”

“Yaaay!”

 

The little girl did not yet have a cellphone, but she decided deep down that she would cherish this. Her beloved penguin charm, bought by her father at her beloved aquarium.

Even now, she still cherished it. This charm seemed like it had been put there just for her.

 

***

 

Presently, Ringo stood in a corner of the souvenir shop, her phone in one hand, searching for a phone charm with the same design as the one she already had, a penguin holding an apple, but of course it seemed that the shop no longer carried it. Her expression did not change noticeably, nor did she sigh. A quiet simply fell to her heart.

It made sense; it had been years since then, after all. The one Ringo had was already tattered and faded.

Sunshiny National Aquarium in the evening was filled with families and couples. Each time Ringo looked at them, she sighed just a little in jealousy. Who was she to be coming to a place like this all alone? She should have at least reached out to Yukina or Mari. She couldn’t talk to them about the Project, but it would have been more fun than coming to a lively place like this alone. After visiting the aquarium, they could have done a bit of window shopping, sat for a bit and drunk some tea. Something like that would have been better.

Faced with the fact that Tabuki had moved, Ringo felt a bit helpless. Everything was destined to follow the course of fate, but it was just as true that from now on, Yuri would be part of Tabuki’s life. When Ringo thought of this, she somehow felt lost.

“Uncle, hurry, hurry!”

Ringo turned around reflexively at the sound of a young girl’s voice, hiding behind a nearby shelf in surprise.

“Come on, Aoi, no running!” said the girl’s mother, walking in with a smile.

“Let her have a little fun,” said a man, walking beside the girl’s mother, smiling. It was unmistakeably Ringo’s father, Satoshi.

“Goodness, you’re too soft on her, Satoshi-san.”

The three of them together were a picture-perfect family. The girl named Aoi’s excited voice sounded just like Ringo’s once had.

“Hey, Uncle. I’ve got a class observation day coming up. Everyone said that their Papas are coming.” She tugged on Satoshi’s shirt sleeve in practiced fashion. “So, um, I want you to come too. You can be my Papa.”

Ringo felt light-headed. Satoshi was Ringo’s father. He was Ringo and Momoka’s father.

“Hmm, I see. That’s something you have to ask your Mama about,” said Satoshi. He looked at the girl’s mother, beaming. His expression was awkward, but his eyes serious; it was a look Ringo had never seen on his face.

“Oginome-san, that’s, well…” The mother looked away demurely.

Satoshi stepped closer to her.

“I know this is a strange place for it, but this is for you.”

He abruptly pulled a small box from his jacket pocket. Even from a distance, it was obvious what was inside that box.

“Satoshi-san, you…” Her eyes went wide in a joyful surprise, and she clasped her hands to her mouth.

“Could I ask you to consider making the three of us a real family?” He looked at her searchingly.

It was the face of a person in love, which Ringo had seen in the mirror now and then. Ringo began to feel a bit ill. She wasn’t a little girl anymore and was fully aware of the sort of relationships that blossomed between a man and a woman, but…

“Yes, if you’re alright with us, then happily.” Aoi’s mother nodded, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

“Yaaay! Yaaay! Aoi’s got a papa!” Aoi clung to Satoshi’s legs happily. Satoshi smiled, lightly picking Aoi up.

A family. Such a ridiculous scene could not be unfolding before her eyes. Satoshi could not possibly have any family besides Ringo’s mother, and Ringo, and Momoka. So why was Ringo hiding, watching Satoshi in fear?

Ringo’s heart, which had quieted before, and mind seemed to slowly submerge into darkness, as though she was diving into the deep sea. All these ridiculous things. These impossible, ridiculous things.

 

Even walking dazedly through the crowds of Ikebukuro at night proved difficult. After proposing, Satoshi and the others would certainly be eating dinner together as a “family.” Aoi would order a kid’s meal, and the adults would watch over her, smiling. A little flag would stand on the rice heaped up on the kid’s plate, and it might even come with a little toy. Aoi would be thrilled by this. Just as Ringo once was.

Everything was coming to an end. Hard as she tried, everyone was leaving her behind. Things were scattered and confused.

Tears suddenly welling up, Ringo tripped over the asphalt in the middle of the crowds and took a painful spill.

“Ow!” She smacked her forehead in embarrassment, and then lifted her head angrily.

Suddenly, a cold wind blew before Ringo’s tear-filled eyes, and her bangs swayed. Her face twisted in frustration, but she swallowed back her tears, refusing to cry.

She took her diary from her bag and drew herself up off the ground.

It wasn’t over yet. She couldn’t quit. No matter what underhanded means his fiancé employed, there was no reason Ringo should lose Tabuki. She still had an ace up her sleeve to ensure victory.

Ringo clutched the diary to her chest. Ringo had something that that woman did not. She had a destiny. As long as she had that, there was no changing the future. Ringo was bound to Tabuki, and Ringo would make a family with him. Project M would inevitably come to fruition.

“Destiny!” Ringo held the diary up high in the middle of the darkened street.

The crowd’s eyes focused on her. A car approaching from in front of her honked its horn.

She would never hand Tabuki over to Tokikago Yuri. Ringo had to let her know, once and for all, that there was no defying fate.

 

The sounds of Dvořák’s “Going Home” on piano flowed through the room at low volume. On the round table in the middle of the long, narrow, high-ceilinged room sat a tea set and an antique telephone made of black and subtle gold. Sitting lightly in a chair beside it, gazing at the checkerboard floor as if stroking it with her eyes, Masako let out a quiet sigh.

She lifted the receiver, rubbing the fingers of her other hand together in irritation, and glanced at the penguin sitting in the chair beside her. She dialed the number as if resigned. The person on the other end did not let the phone ring even once. This was no surprise; it was just as they arranged.

“Yes, it’s finally happening. Project M. There is no room for failure,” she said shortly, then hung up the receiver with an exaggerated clack.

Masako walked over to her tall window, reaching out to stroke the edges of the thick curtains. The penguin followed quietly, standing beside her.

“Goodness, we better crush him soon.” She lowered her eyelashes in the sun, biting her lip lightly.

The penguin, who dexterously held a teacup with an aloof expression, flashed its eyes in reply.

 

It was my first time in a girl’s room that wasn’t Himari’s, but I felt no butterflies. Instead I shut the door, my head hung.

“Ugh, I’m beat. It really is tough moving stuff the second time.” I sunk down onto the cool floor, sighing deeply. Having strategized based on what happened last time, I was able to move Oginome’s belongings back from beneath Tabuki’s apartment much more efficiently. I could feel my house husband proficiency rising.

“Did you put Ka-chan and Ot-chan right back where I told you to?” Oginome-san asked, not looking at me.

“Yes, yes. They’re separate from the other luggage, lined right up by the pillows.” I looked to the heavens, cracking my neck.

“Then that’s good.” Oginome-san stood in the kitchen, a serious look upon her face. However, it did not appear that she was about to offer me a cup of tea, or anything like that.

“So, um…”

“What?”

“I’m guessing I still don’t get to borrow that diary from you yet.”

Until things were settled with Tabuki, I assumed I would not get an affirmative out of her, but I still had to ask, just in case. I held up frayed fingernails, dirty with earth and cardboard.

“It’s fine. You can have it.”

“I figured—wait, what? Really? Are you sure?”

I stood up, leaning over the kitchen counter, and stared at her. I pleaded silently for her to say yes before she changed her mind, and to put the diary into my hands.

“That is, once the upcoming task has been safely completed.”

“Task?” I cursed myself for being a soft-hearted, feckless fool, to have believed for a second that Oginome-san would hand the diary over to me unconditionally.

“Alright, it’s done.” I looked at her hands, to see her just closing the lid of a little white box.

“What’s that?” I asked, briefly meeting eyes with Penguin No. 2, who stood beside Oginome-san, staring at the box.

“Wait here, I need to get ready to go out.”

She entered her room and slammed the door shut, ignoring my question. Before ten minutes had passed, she reemerged carrying a sports bag.

“Let’s go,” she said, picking up the white box.

I gave a response that was somewhere between, “Yeah,” and, “Huh,” and followed her out.

“Thanks for carrying all those. See you.” She gave me a nod of parting and began walking off alone.

“Wait.” I had to ask her. “Where are you going with those?”

“Where? I’m heading to Tabuki-san and Tokikago Yuri’s condo,” she said coolly, taking out the postcard with Tabuki and Yuri-san’s moving notice.

“That postcard! I got one of those just yesterday. I thought it was here in my bag…” I stuck it in the outside pocket of my commuter bag, but it was nowhere to be found amongst the shopping lists and receipts.

“Is that box a housewarming gift?” I asked.

Oginome-san looked at me silently, with a quiet expression.

“So it is! Girls really do bounce back quickly, huh? Now that I think about, the girls that my brother rejected have been surprisingly the same way. There’s always rumors of them getting new boyfriends after not too long. Oh, in that case, this is a special occasion, so I’ll go with you to congratulate them!”

“You…” she said, more quietly than I had heard from her before, glaring at me, “What nonsense are you speaking?”

I froze, my genuine smile still on my face.

“That woman is in Osaka today, on a nationwide tour. Tabuki-san will be alone at their place tonight. This is my last chance. Now, goodbye.” She turned her back on me, her stance rather gallant.

“What? Wait a second!” I could not go home and leave her like this.

Apparently, she had not yet given up on Project M. Inside that white box was something that would help her grasp this so-called ‘last chance.’

“I’m not waiting,” she said crisply, back straight, with a strange coldness. Her limbs swung purposefully.

“What are you gonna do now?! What’s in there?!” Penguin No. 2 and I matched her steadily increasing pace. “Stop already!”

“I told you that I would lend you the diary if this goes well, so don’t interfere.”

That was true. Whatever plan she had in mind, whatever was in that box, so long as Oginome-san achieved her goal, I would get the diary. Whether or not she could attain this twisted love of hers, and whether or not anyone was hurt by her actions, it had nothing to do with me and Kanba, or Himari’s life.

It had no connection to my, to our goals.

“I can’t just do nothing.” I just wasn’t capable of thinking the way my brother did. “Plus, if it does go well, I want to take the diary home with me right away. I absolutely need it.”

In lieu of a reply, the corners of Oginome-san’s mouth turned down, and she glared at me.

I followed the blank-faced Oginome-san, boarding the train along with No. 2. Oginome-san sat in the empty seat she found in the crowded car, staring down meekly at the white box. I sat a short distance away, careful not to lose sight of her, and pondered this Project M.

So, the “M” of Project M did not stand for “marriage.” What else could it possibly stand for, then? It would have made sense if it was in either of Oginome Ringo or Tabuki Keiju’s initials.

“M… M…Mix, miracle. Magical. Marvelous,” I muttered silently, thinking of various words. None of them seemed to hit the mark, and there were only so many words I was aware of with my limited English vocabulary.

“M. Ma…Mad, madness.” Madness. Oginome-san might be afflicted with madness, but that was merely my perception of her.

“M. M? Murder?” The word popped into my mind, and I shivered.

Indeed, “murder” began with M. What would I do if, in the depths of her obsession, she was after a lovers’ suicide with Tabuki? Considering her actions up to now, it did not seem at all impossible that that box contained a homemade explosive or something.

I hated to get wrapped up in this, but I could not let it alone. I had to get her to abandon this project of madness. If she was gone, Himari would be sad, and if the diary was ruined, things could not be undone.

I followed frantically after Oginome-san, who swiftly disembarked at Akasaka Mitsuki station, and prepared myself for the worst.

 

I looked up at the high-rise building towering beneath the thinly clouded sky, and my jaw dropped. We greeted Tabuki at the large entrance, and the door unlocked. We passed through the wide lobby, decorated with sofas, headed for the flat where Tabuki and Yuri-san lived.

“This place is amazing.” As we walked down the wide, carpeted hall, I was shocked at how quiet and clean it was, only realizing now how drastically Tabuki was proverbially “marrying up.”

Oginome-san proceeded down the noiseless hallway without hesitation.

“Calm down, would you? It’s unseemly,” she said.

“But this is like a completely different world.”

We pushed the button on the intercom beside the large white door, and Tabuki soon opened the door with a “Hey,” and a smile. Today he wore a bright, blue-striped shirt and beige slacks. They were probably to Yuri-san’s tastes.

The entryway was surprisingly large, and to the side was a shoe shelf for Yuri-san. There was a separate walk-in closet for clothing as well. There were two bathrooms before we even reached the living room, and there was even a bar just before the living room. The idea of Tabuki and Yuri-san living here was hard to imagine. It didn’t seem real.

“Sorry for barging in on you so suddenly, Tabuki-san, especially when you’ve just moved in.” Oginome-san sat modestly on the living room sofa and smiled gently, greeting him as a pure and humble maiden would. “But I just couldn’t wait to congratulate you.”

“No, I’m glad you came. We’ve sorted out our things surprisingly fast.” Tabuki loaded a classy-looking teapot and teacups onto a tray in an unfamiliar manner and carried them over. He set them on the table, looking up at the weather report showing on the large TV screen. “It’s just that Tokyo’s supposed to get a lot of rain tonight as an effect of the typhoon, and I’m worried about you getting back home.”

“That’s just fine. After we have a little bit of a celebration, we’ll be out of your hair,” Oginome-san said cheerfully, sliding down from the sofa and kneeling on the wooden floor. “I’ll do it,” she said, diligently picking up the tin of tea leaves and the tea spoon.

“Ah, sorry about that. I have at least drunk tea on my own before,” said Tabuki scratching his head. “Though normally I’d just grab a mug and a tea bag and be done with it.”

“Whoa, these ceilings are so tall!” I wandered around the spacious living room, shamelessly unable to calm down, seriously moved. “The floors are so smooth, and the kitchen is huge. I wonder what Himari would say if she saw this.”

This house was beyond imagination. Tabuki’s former living space couldn’t even hope to compare. It almost seemed a little too big. But considering that it was the home of a popular actress, it somehow made sense that the living room would be furnished with a chandelier with a design that looked exceedingly difficult to clean, and that there would be a sofa the size of Himari’s bed. A spacious balcony surrounded the corner room, on which one’s laundry would surely dry briskly on days with nice weather. Currently, the whole sky was covered with flame-colored clouds.

“You too, Takakura, thank you for coming. Have a seat.”

“Thanks. I just sort of ended up tagging along.” Oginome-san glanced at me out of the corner of her eye as I contemplated the scenery outside. I looked back to see that Penguin No. 2 had made itself completely at home beside her, and busily popped sugar cubes into its mouth.

“I don’t mind! I did tell you that you should come and hang out, too.”

“Anyway, Tabuki-san!” Oginome-san said suddenly, placing the white box she cradled on her lap onto the table. “I put my heart into making this for you two.”

My ears pricked up, and I slowly turned around.

“You should enjoy it with Yuri-san, if you like.”

“Huh? What is it? I’m excited,” Tabuki said, carefree, staring at the white box.

“I’ll open it up then.” With a grin, Oginome-san put her hand on the lid.

I hurriedly shoved No. 2 out of the way beside her and said, “Wait!”

“What?” Oginome-san glared at me as I reached out for the box, a cold sweat running down me.

“Don’t be hasty. If I have to, I’ll throw it out the window!”

“What are you talking about?” She opened the box at once.

“Oh, that looks amazing!” Tabuki’s eyes glittered.

“I hope that it suits both of your tastes.” She slid the box slowly toward him, shrugging her shoulders bashfully.

The contents were, as far as I could tell, a large mont blanc.

“Man, I’d love to enjoy this with Yuri, but she just left for her Kansai tour. She’ll be in Osaka a while,” said Tabuki, in a husband-like Sorry about my wife sort of way.

“That’s too bad. It came out so well, I was hoping she could see it too.”

Though speechless at the conspicuous way Oginome-san tilted her head, eyebrows drawing to a peak, I breathed a sigh of relief.

“It’s okay, you went to all the trouble, let’s eat it together,” Tabuki said happily, heading to the kitchen for some dishes.

“What? Isn’t this just a normal cake?” I said, in a cowardly voice.

“It’s not normal. Look closely. It’s a special curry-type mont blanc, with my heart and soul in it.”

Wondering what she meant by curry-type, I looked the cake over again. Rather than curry, the squeezed out chestnut paste on top looked like pasta. To have a curry-type mont blanc was weird. Mont blancs, by nature, were supposed to resemble Mont Blanc, in the Alps, so for it to be a curry-type mont blanc was essentially calling it a “curry mountain cake.” Of course, I wouldn’t know for sure without biting into it, so I just looked at her, not voicing my concern.

“So, what are you making a fuss for?” she asked.

“Ah, well, I was just surprised that you genuinely wanted to congratulate him.”

She pouted, then gave a faint smile.

“If you don’t mind, please eat up, and let me know what you think of the cake,” she said in a soft, but somehow boastful voice.

Having never seen such a sweet and normal Oginome-san at any point in the past, I smiled and said, “Of course!”

This was good. She’d gotten it through her head. She was finally trying to move on from Tabuki. There was no need for me to fret over her doing something reckless. I was sure that on the way home, she would apologize and lend me the diary.

“Now then, I suppose we’d better partake of this mont blanc for our happiness,” Tabuki said merrily, returning with plates, a cake knife, and forks that matched the tea set.

We gave our thanks, and Tabuki politely sliced the curry mont blanc for everyone.

Outside the window, rain began to fall, and from the steadily darkening sky came booms of thunder. Rain struck the window fiercely, but the cheerful atmosphere in the living room remained protected by the thick glass.

 

The cake was incredibly delicious—or would have been, had it not been poisoned. Oginome-san really wasn’t interested in congratulating Tabuki and Yuri-san.

I forced my heavy eyelids open a crack, moving my sluggish body slightly, and looked at Oginome-san. She was standing over us proudly, looking down on us, collapsed on the floor.

“That took effect faster than I thought,” she muttered in a low, hoarse voice, putting her sports bag on her back. She put her arms under Tabuki’s, who collapsed on the table, and pulled him up, taking him from the living room with a slow, dragging sound, making the spine-chilling expression of a serial killer.

Tabuki, who loved mont blancs, gobbled down a large helping of the cake without any suspicion, and was now fast asleep. I had not eaten as much, so my breathing only grew more subdued, my body relaxed, dying for sleep.

I thought of ordering Penguin No. 2 to go and do some recon, but out of the corner of my eye I could see No. 2 passed out on the ground, motionless.

I had to do something. Whatever Oginome-san was intending to do, I had to stop her.

I tried to force myself up but slammed back down on the floor. I breathed deeply to try and calm myself, but my ears were ringing with the sound of the rain, falling more and more violently, and the roar of thunder.

“O-Oginome-san.” My voice, too soft for her to possibly hear, was drowned out by the peals of thunder and its accompanying bolts of lightning. At the same moment, the lights in the living room went out.

There was no light in the kitchen or hallway, either. This was the perfect time for a power outage, huh? Even though the apartment was so big you didn’t know what to do with yourself. If I didn’t catch up with Oginome-san quick, who knew what she would do?

Just what did the M stand for?

I crawled across the floor out of the living room. I caught a glimpse of Tabuki’s white socks, rounding the corner of the hallway.

“Wait.” I gripped the wall, standing shakily, and slowly began walking. When I turned the corner, I saw an open door at the end of the hall.

It was a bedroom. I sat down in the hallway, keeping the wall at my back, and peeked inside. Even in the dark, I could see the hazy silhouette of Tabuki, lying on a large bed, and Oginome-san sitting beside him.

“I really didn’t want to have to do this. I wanted you to love me for me, Tabuki-san.”

Slowly, Oginome-san began to strip. I squeezed my eyes shut.

“But there’s no more time. Soon, you’ll awaken. You’ll be so dazed, you won’t be able to tell who is lying next to you.”

What was she talking about? I slowly re-opened my eyes. Wearing a fluttering nightgown, she climbed onto the bed, straddling Tabuki.

“Tonight, I will be your bride. But not as myself.”

I knew that she was Oginome-san, but her hair swayed in long, beautiful waves, just like Yuri-san’s.

“What a beautiful engagement ring.” She took Tabuki’s hand, taking a long look at his ring finger.

“Hey, what are you doing?” I finally managed to stand, entering the room and leaning on the door.

She turned only her eyes to me, and clutched Tabuki’s hand in both of hers, enveloping it.

“Looks like the medicine wasn’t strong enough. Fine. You’re here, so I’ll tell you. This is our fate. This is Project M.”

I slid my heavy body along the wall, trying to get closer to her.

“What the hell is the ‘M’ for?”

“Conception,” she said sharply. “The M is for Maternity!”

Illuminated by a flash of lightning as she turned around, her face looked much like Yuri-san’s, but it was not a beautiful face at all. A loud peal of thunder shook the whole room.

My chest stung with fear, and I was overtaken by nausea. Finally, I understood exactly what it was that she was trying to do.

I tried to run to the bed, but I lost control of my legs, and tumbled across the floor. What she said wasn’t correct. This was the M of the truly deranged, of Madness through and through.

I crawled across the floor toward Oginome-san, who arranged the wig with her hands.

“This is weird,” I called. “Was this written in your diary too? Just what the hell is this ‘Fate Diary’? This whole time. To say that trying to make the things written there come true by force is fate… Isn’t this all just your own selfish delusions?”

“You’re wrong. It’s not a delusion! If I don’t do this, then my family will…”

I continued, cutting her off.

“Whatever reason you have, doing it this way is wrong!” I finally reached the edge of the bed, clawing at the white sheets and dragging my upper body up.

“I don’t care what anyone says. This is the only choice I have left,” she said, her breath ragged. She yanked off Tabuki’s horribly white socks, then practically tore open the buttons of his shirt to expose his chest. Then she undid the belt of his pants.

“Stop it!” I shouted weakly at the rustling sound.

“This is my destiny. Just leave me alone!”

She forcefully removed the leather belt and put her hand to the zipper of his fly.

“Like hell I would!” I shouted, flinging myself toward her.

With some difficulty, my hands reached her waist. As I clung to her, the long hair of the wig whipped in my face, and I couldn’t see a thing. Still clutching her, I fell dramatically off the side of the bed. My back ached as it struck the wooden floor.

“Oginome-san, are you okay?” I started to say, when the lights in the room came on. Everything went monochrome before my eyes in the blinding glow. The power must have been restored.

“Hold it, what are you doing?!”

“Huh?” My vision cleared, and I realized it was Penguin No. 2 wriggling in my arms, the wig crooked on its head.

“O-Oginome-san, why are you naked?!”

She was crouched atop the bed without a single stitch on her body. I whipped my whole head away, averting my gaze. She had already cast the nightgown away to the side of the bed, and apparently had not been wearing any underwear from the start.

“Hey! Don’t look!”

“I’m not looking! Now put something on already!” I wondered if I had already become unsuitable as a groom. Not that I had planned this, of course. “And go home!”

“I’m not going home!”

Just then, a buzz from the intercom made us both leap up in shock. Whoever had just showed up, nobody could mistake this scene as anything other than a crime, perpetrated at the hands of a high school girl.

As we instinctively looked at one another, we heard Yuri-san’s gentle voice from the intercom.

“I’m home, Tabuki-kun! My flight got cancelled because of the typhoon. I’m going to take the first bullet train out tomorrow instead. The automatic lock isn’t opening though, probably because of that power outage earlier. Could you open it? Hey, Tabuki-kun, can you hear me?”

“Oginome-san, go!” I staggered to my feet. “I’m going to go open the autolock, so get out of here before Yuri-san gets back to this room!”

“But!” Though she hurriedly re-dressed herself in the nightgown, she was persistent.

“Just hurry up already!” I grabbed her clothes that were scattered across the floor and stuffed them into the sports bag, wondering what to do about the state of the living room. Even if we cleaned it up right away and left, I didn’t know what Oginome-san used to drug Tabuki, and there was a chance he might remember us stopping by. But there was no way he would think Oginome-san planned on assaulting him. Not letting Yuri-san find out was our top priority right now.

“I’m opening it,” I said, activating the autolock before Oginome-san had a chance to argue. Then I gripped her arm and exited Tabuki’s room.

There had to be an emergency exit somewhere. It would be best to make it out of the building without running into Yuri-san near the entrance.

“Wait!”

Holding the wig in one hand, Oginome-san tried to yank her other hand out of my grip, but there was no telling what she might do if she got away from me. Plus, she was still in her costume. I wanted to avoid the other residents of the building seeing her, if possible.

What was I even doing here? I was supposed to be trying to save Himari, but just like Kanba said, all I seemed to be doing was looking out for Oginome-san. Was it really love if you were sabotaging other people’s happiness in order to make someone yours? The shape of love was different for everyone, and maybe Oginome-san’s way of doing things was just one variation, but this was far too selfish and warped.

Was not disregarding the feelings of the one you love, in order to satisfy your own desires, not fundamentally disrespectful to both you and them?

That was when I realized: I stopped feeling love at a very young age. I looked at women in a sexual and age-appropriate way, but I had never truly liked anyone romantically, let alone loved them. I had no idea if my own ability to love was even functional. I thought of Kanba and Himari and our uncle and school and my friends, and Penguin No. 2 and even Oginome-san each in a special way, but I had no idea how to confirm whether that was a type of love or not. Was I even capable of loving someone?

 

The emergency escape stairs were outside the building, where it was already completely dark and raining hard. With some difficulty, we sat down on the covered stairs, shoulders heaving with breath, listening to the sound of the distant thunder.

“I was almost there!” Oginome-san suddenly stood, throwing the wig she held to the ground. Her hair, normally brushed down smooth, was thoroughly disheveled.

“It’s better this way. Doing something like that wouldn’t be any good for you, either.”

“Are you saying you know what’s good for me? Don’t lecture me!” Her voice echoed loudly down the stairs. “I’m going to be the one to bear Tabuki-san’s child. If I don’t, the ring of fate won’t be connected. That was my final chance! Tabuki-san’s life with that woman will be starting soon. When that happens, everything will seriously be ruined! It has to be me!”

She talked like I was in the wrong here. I stared at her narrow back.

“What?” She made a horrible face as she looked back, her eyes devoid of purpose, of sweetness.

“Listen, do you not care about Tabuki and Yuri-san’s feelings?”

She froze for a moment, but it was no good.

“That’s not it! The fact that Tabuki-san is with that woman in the first place is a mistake!”

The cold air drained the color from my vision. I rubbed my eyes and looked again at Oginome-san.

“You are the most cruel woman I have ever met!” Even though the words were coming from my mouth, my voice sounded like something I had never heard before. For some reason, I suddenly felt as though I wanted to cry.

Oginome-san’s face paled, clearly wounded. The unforgiving rain started to fall sideways, soaking slowly into her hair and nightgown.

“You don’t know anything.” Her voice was like a mosquito’s whine.

“I don’t want to know anything.”

It felt like, for the first time, I saw Oginome-san’s real face. Her pale face, still looking ready to cry. And yet, she did not avert her eyes from me. Her mouth pressed into a straight line, with zero regard for her sopping state.

I was suddenly struck with regret. I had said too much. But it was too late.

“Can you really…” she said, in a warbling voice, “…say that you know everything about your own siblings with a straight face? Aren’t you just glossing over your own family, pretending that you don’t see it?! Who are you to tell anyone to see reality?!”

“What are you talking about?” I raised my voice ever so slightly, feeling that I had been touched in some empty place lurking in the depths of my heart.

“You should know just by looking at Himari-chan! That girl is always smiling and playing, but…”

I was afraid to hear the rest. I stood up at once, grabbing her by the collar and shoving her against the railing.

“Ow!” she yelped softly. The railing made a rattling sound.

She was afraid, looking down and shutting her eyes tight. I slid and sat down, still gripping at her chest and pulling her down with me.

The feeling of the nightgown, thin and silky and soft in my hand, and Oginome-san’s scent. The sound of my own strained breathing, and Oginome-san’s gentle sobs.

I came back to my senses, and quickly let go. I was afraid of how I’d lashed out, and thought I should say something, but I couldn’t do more than flap my mouth silently, like a fish out of water. My hand trembled faintly.

“That’s fine. From now on, I’ll just do everything on my own. If I don’t keep working to become Momoka, the circle won’t be joined. Papa and Mama will drift away. Our family will be torn apart.”

“Family?”

“This is all for the sake of my family. My duty, the reason I was born. It has nothing to do with my feelings.”

“So then you, and Tabuki…”

“I like him. I love him. Because Momoka did, too!” she said firmly, interrupting me.

I rewound through all of Oginome-san’s actions in my head. Who said they loved who? Who had done what, and why, because they loved someone? I thought that Oginome-san was merely in love with Tabuki, but perhaps I had made some grave misunderstanding.

In my ears, the sound of the rain had gone past comforting and was now irritating, and I couldn’t get my thoughts in order.

“Momoka is your big sister, who died a long time ago, isn’t she? What are you saying? What is this about?”

She stood up, not answering my question.

At this point, I could not accept any of this unless I got an explanation I could understand. This wasn’t just for me. Oginome-san was completely mixed up.

“Oginome-san.”

“I told you this has nothing to do with you!” She shoved me back violently, grabbed up the sports bag, and started down the stairs away from me at once.

“Wait!” I grabbed her by the arm.

“No! Let me go!”

It was then, as she jerked her body, trying to shake my hand off that the diary tumbled out of the open zipper of the sports bag, and then slipped through a gap in the iron railing of the stairs and into the rain.

“Aah!” Oginome-san shouted in terror, leaning over the railing to see where the diary had fallen, and then rushed down the stairs.

What would happen if the diary was ruined? Even without Oginome-san burning it, if we lost the diary in some other way, what would become of the Penguindrum?

I hurriedly followed after.

 

Her heart was cruel. As she rushed down the stairs, Ringo’s head was filled with those words. A heart crueler than any other woman he had ever met.

As she stepped out onto the drenched black road, she swiftly spotted the diary. She rushed over and picked it up, wiping the soaked cover on the sleeve of her nightgown, and clutched it to her chest. Those terrible words had nothing to do with her. The diary gave her directions, and all she had to do was follow its words. She was certain of it. It was fate, after all.

Was her heart really that cruel? She squeezed the diary tighter.

She snapped her head up at the loud sound of an engine, mixed with the driving rain, and was blinded by a bright headlight. She thought that the motorcycle was going to rush right past her.

“Huh?”

A black hand thrust out, grabbing the diary she was gripping so tight to try and snatch it away. She reflexively steeled her hands.

Right before her eyes, her fate, in the form of Momoka’s diary, was ripped in half. The bike vanished in the blink of an eye, taking half of the diary with it.

She felt the blood rush from her head, her body light and unsteady. As she stared silently after the bike, which had already faded to a distant speck of light, she felt the cold rain seeping into every cell of her body.

Maybe it was true. Maybe all the things she cherished were being taken away from her one by one because she was so cruel-hearted.

In the middle of the road, all she could sense was the smell of the soaked asphalt.

Who liked who? Loved who? What did I want? What did I need? What’s important? And what am I doing here, looking like this?

By the time the sound of a car horn reached her ears, it was already too late. There was no time to even be afraid of the big black car barreling toward her on the dark road, like a monster. She prepared herself, shutting her eyes tight.

“Watch out!” She heard Shoma’s voice. Well, obviously she should watch out. There was a car barreling down on her, after all, Ringo thought coldly in her subconscious. But the impact that came next was not what she expected.

Her body struck the pavement as she was flung into the opposing lane of traffic. As she sat up in shock, there was the sharp sound of a collision. With her eyes now adjusted to the dark, she could see Shoma’s body, struck by the car, bouncing like a ball.

Shoma, who was not of particularly sturdy build, rolled lightly on the wet pavement.

“Shoma-kun!” She felt a terrible pain in her right elbow and knee as she stood. It stung more as she knelt beside him. Tears clouded her vision, her diaphragm tightening with cold and fear, making it difficult to breathe. “Shoma-kun!”

Shoma lay in a heap, motionless as a rag doll. His body sunk away into the rain in an instant.

This couldn’t be happening. Even if Ringo was, in fact, the most cruel-hearted girl in the entire world, there wasn’t a single word in the diary about Takakura Shoma suffering an accident. But now, she only had half of her beloved diary, and her dear friend no longer answered her.