Chapter 09

Chapter 09

 

THAT DAY, Himari enjoyed a visit to the Sunshiny National Aquarium with her brothers in tow, for the first time in ages. There was the fun fluttering of her flared skirt, and the difficulty of walking through the crowds. In the streets of Ikebukuro, the smells of every person and thing intermingled.

Himari Day was the start of a new kind of tedium for Himari, after having been finally released from her endless tedium of the hospital.

She leaned forward, watching the penguins flocking on the artificial rock face, thinking, the room stinks. All around the aquarium was the smell of the ocean, and a strange, almost intoxicating atmosphere lent by the thick glass of the large tanks. In the tanks were glittering deep sea fish, as well as tropical fish. Swaying kelp and coral. Penguins, diving into the water, one after the other as if being pushed from behind.

Were penguins birds or fish? Himari looked for a signboard with an explanation, but only found a funny little sign reading, “A request from your friendly local penguins! Please don’t touch the penguins!”

“Whoa. The penguins are such good swimmers!” Beneath the water, the penguins swam so rapidly, so freely, that it was hard to believe they were the same creatures she’d seen on land.

“Yeah. Even though they look a little silly on land,” Shoma said beside her, nodding.

“I bet the penguins would be annoyed to hear that coming from you, Shoma,” said Kanba, teasing his brother.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Himari’s ears pricked up at her brothers’ childish exchange, and she smiled softly. These sorts of things would fill her daily life from now on. She would be immersed in this peaceful, joyful tedium.

She looked across the area, trying to get a good look at all of the penguins, when she noticed there was something weird about one of the penguins that had suddenly entered.

“Hmmm?” She leaned forward immediately, scrutinizing this weirdly spherical penguin. None of the other visitors around seemed to be paying this penguin much mind, but as far as Himari could tell, it looked incredibly distinct from the others. It seemed misshapen, and it moved in a weirdly humanlike way.

The moment its round, black eyes gazed at Himari, she found herself unable to move. This mysterious penguin was clearly looking at her. Their eyes met.

“Hey, Sho-chan,” she said, pointing right at the mysterious penguin, looking at Shoma, who was right beside her.

“Ew, I wouldn’t want to catch Kanba’s filthy playboy germs.” Shoma did not appear to be listening at all, busy cracking jokes about Kanba.

“Hey, look, that penguin over there…” She looked back at where she was pointing, only to see that the penguin vanished. “…It’s gone.”

Just then, a little boy went running by, wearing a souvenir penguin hat.

“Honey, no running, you’re going to hurt someone,” came the kind and graceful voice of his mother, in the way only a mother could speak. The boy’s father followed leisurely behind.

The last time they had come here, Himari and her brothers played this way too, watched over by their beloved parents.

Distracted by the boy’s sweet laughter, Himari started to forget about the strange penguin. Surely, she had just seen something wrong, or it was just her overactive imagination. She had spent so many days in a hospital bed that she probably was not yet fully reacquainted with reality.

 

The gift shop overflowed with treasures every way you looked. There were stuffed animals like the ones in Himari’s little room, and little lamps and snow globes and tapestries. Both during her time in the hospital, and in the Takakura home, Himari’s room had been obsessively decorated. Himari’s room was her universe, her sanctuary, and the bulk of her world, after all.

As Shoma established that it was “Himari Day,” he made a show of declaring that he’d buy her anything she liked. Genuinely pleased by her brother’s consideration, she looked around at all the treasures in the shop.

The hat with the penguin face that Himari chose was a rather childish item, but she found it oddly pleasing. It was partly because she had seen the little boy from before wearing it, but somehow it seemed very important. Plus, it was moderately priced, so it wouldn’t cause trouble for Shoma.

While waiting for Shoma, who was in line at the register, Himari felt a strange sensation behind her, and slowly turned around.

That strange penguin was just exiting the gift shop, waddling away.

“That’s the one from before.”

As though it noticed Himari’s muttering, the penguin glanced back at her, then suddenly picked up the pace.

“Wait!” She had no idea why she followed it, but she knew that she had to. Himari could not resist following such a cute and strange little creature.

 

Himari ran strenuously all the way to the elevators in pursuit of the penguin she now called “San-chan.” Just as she glimpsed sight of its back, the elevator arrived with startling timing, and the doors slid open.

Seeing the penguin board the elevator without hesitation, Himari shouted, “Wait!” and ran into that same elevator. The moment she was on board, the elevator doors closed, as if timed.

There was no one on the elevator besides Himari and the penguin.

It had been a long time since she had run like that, Himari thought while carefully catching her breath, looking at the back of the penguin’s black head.

“Hey, Penguin-san,” she called out, not sure if she wished to ask it something, or simply if she wanted to make friends. More importantly, where was this elevator headed? Just after she thought this, the whole elevator swayed violently, and Himari let out a small shriek.

The elevator went steadily down, the numbers on the electronic display quickly decreasing. Finally, they arrived at the second basement floor.

“Gosh, that startled me,” she said softly, looking at the utterly still penguin. As she did, the penguin straightened up and reached for the elevator buttons. There was one more button, which Himari had not seen before.

The penguin pushed the button with its flipper.

Frightened by the mechanical sound the elevator had begun to make, completely different from the one before, Himari looked up at the display and the ceiling.

The elevator once more began to jerk violently downward. Perhaps unable to keep up with the elevator’s speed, the display no longer properly showed any number.

“Where are we going?” Himari asked, but the penguin said nothing and did not look at her. “C’mon, tell me.”

Had she really just been at the Sunshiny Aquarium? Himari wondered. Along with her brothers, she changed her clothes, eaten breakfast, and boarded the subway. That hadn’t been a dream, had it? If not, then what was this? Could this moment, where she followed a mysterious penguin and now was headed off to some unknown place, really be reality?

She heard a ding, signaling their arrival, and the elevator doors slid open.

“Oh.” Before her was a white building surrounded by trees, which Himari had seen before.

The penguin exited the elevator, heading toward the building as though it were the natural thing to do. With no other option, Himari followed quietly behind it.

A gentle, warm sunlight shone through the gaps in the trees, and she could hear the warbling of little birds.

“This is that library we always go to,” she suddenly realized. She looked down and saw she was somehow carrying several books under her arm.

 

The inside of the Central Library appeared perfectly normal. It was spacious, with a high ceiling, numerous patrons, and a fair number of staff moving about. The penguin at her feet notwithstanding, she saw nothing strange about the place.

Himari went to the counter, placing down the books she couldn’t remember picking up, and called out to the apron-clad female staff member.

“I’d like to return these.” On the counter were Christine by Stephen King, and Sputnik Sweetheart by Murakami Haruki, as well as How to Sustainably Increase Your Income Ten-fold by Katsuma Kazuyo. All of the books felt like ones she had read before, but also completely unfamiliar. Still, there was no mistaking that she had borrowed these here.

“Thank you. A return, then.” The employee pulled the books closer, flipped open the back covers and swiftly finished checking them all over.

“Um, where could I find the book ‘Frog-kun Saves Tokyo’?”

“Just a moment.” The employee turned to her computer screen. “We don’t have any record of that title,” she quickly replied.

“I know I’ve seen it here before. It should be here…”

“Maybe you mistook it for a similar title? Are there any other search terms you recall?”

Himari had completely forgotten everything about it besides the title. She did not know the name of the author or the publisher, or even the genre.

“I’ll go take a look myself. I’ll probably find it if I follow the same path as when I saw it last time.” She gave a nod to the employee and dove into the wide sea of bookshelves with the penguin.

“Frog-kun…Saves Tokyo… Frog-kun…Saves Tokyo…” She scanned the spines as she walked through the stacks. “I know it was somewhere around here.”

She stopped in a certain spot, looking carefully from top to bottom. As she did, the penguin following at her feet looked around the shelves, too.

“Are you helping me search?” She smiled at it happily.

The penguin steadily advanced, still searching the books.

“Ah, wait!”

The penguin rounded the corner. Himari followed in pursuit. The penguin did not look back.

“Hey, where are you going?” Even as she followed the penguin, Himari had no idea why she had come this far.

The penguin was oddly fast, despite its waddling, and every time Himari thought she had caught up, it was always just a little ahead. She turned corner after corner, following the little black back. Just as she rounded another shelf, finally catching up with it this time, between the towering shelves on both sides, a large, old-looking wooden door came into view. A damp smell wafted from this odd amber-colored door to Himari.

“Huh?”

She silently and slowly approached the door through the space that should have been the library. Why would there be a door in a place like this?

Himari heard a strange cry and looked up at the ceiling. It sounded like a bird, but naturally, she saw no such shape there. She turned her gaze back to the door, just in time to see the penguin, which must have been hiding somewhere, opening it.

The door creaked slowly open, and the penguin slipped through the crack to the other side. Suspicion hung in the corners of Himari’s mind, but against her better judgment, she followed after it.

 

Beyond the heavy door were bookshelves, strung together, endless and distant, into a gentle helix. The ceiling was so far away, she couldn’t see it. The bookshelves were connected with long, narrow ladders, and spread throughout the space, drawing an arc. It was like a large-scale three-dimensional puzzle, or a wooden mosaic.

Unlike the bookshelves from before, these shelves were lined with large, sturdy, dense-looking books. The faint smell of old paper and mold that characterized most libraries was slightly more prominent, with a different quality.

Though they were underground, the space was full of light, and Himari narrowed her eyes.

“Penguin-san, where are you?” Himari nervously began walking down the white geometric-patterned floor. “Penguin-san!”

The penguin was nowhere to be seen.

“Isn’t it marvelous?”

Startled at the voice from above her head, Himari looked up to see a young man, standing gracefully atop a ladder. With one hand he gripped the ladder, leaning against it, and held a large book open in his other hand. He snapped the book shut, and practically slid off of the ladder, standing quietly before her. The floor seemed to pulse in a soft, gentle rainbow.

“Welcome. What book are you searching for?”

He tilted his head gently, smiling kindly. His eyes sparkled with a light so brilliant it was impossible to tell where he was looking; it was like looking at tiny galaxies. His neatly gathered hair was white, practically transparent, with streaks of pale peach pink and light green mixed in.

He wore a plain white V-neck and a library apron, along with a loose, long beige cardigan, and denim jeans. Despite his nimble movements, he wore a pair of blue, slip-on sandals on his feet.

“Oh, um…” Himari did not feel afraid, but something about the young man stirred her heart strangely.

Once more, he tilted his head, smiling suddenly with just the corners of his mouth.

“Welcome to the Central Library’s Sora-no-Ana Annex.”

“Sora no Ana…Hole in the Sky? But aren’t we underground?” She had no idea that there was such a place.

“This is most certainly the Sora no Ana. I am Sanetoshi, the librarian of this place. Come, your wish is my command.” He gave a gracious bow, speaking in a polite, relaxed tone that clashed with the vibe of his hair and clothing.

“Um, then, could I ask you to find me a book called ‘Frog-kun Saves Tokyo’?”

One of Sanetoshi’s eyebrows shot up. “Very well,” he said with a smile. “Since you have made it here, I am certain that we can locate the volume that you desire from within this vast sea of consciousness and memory. Just as one might pluck a single pearl from out of the seven seas. I, Sanetoshi, shall lend my aid with all of my being.”

Himari was taken aback by his grandiose manner. Just what sort of a facility was this Sora-no-Ana Annex?

“What a strange person,” she said softly.

The man with starry eyes looked at Himari with a smile, and began walking, leading her into the maze of bookshelves.

 

Himari walked through the labyrinth of books with Sanetoshi as her guide, as freely as though she was flying through the sky. At some point, the penguin had begun following behind her.

Now and then, Sanetoshi would stop as if remembering something and take a book down from the shelf, but then would mutter, “Ah, not this one,” or, “No, this one’s wrong, too,” and put it back in its place.

“Um, is this really a part of the Central Library? It kind of feels a little too big for that.”

As they walked, Himari’s anxiety slowly grew. Where she had come from, how long she’d been here, and her goal had already blurred within her mind. Something about the mysterious colors of Sanetoshi’s swaying hair as he walked in front of her was rapidly giving her the chills.

“It is the annex of the library,” he said with certainty. “Though, you’re our first visitor in some time.”

Sanetoshi smiled brightly. Himari tilted her head in confusion.

“This is not a place that just anyone can visit. This is a special library, where only chosen patrons are permitted.” He spoke in a low, relaxed, melodic voice as he walked along, fingers grazing the spines.

“So that means I’m special?” Himari trudged along the road of bookshelves, overwhelmed. She hazily wondered if she had really been looking for a book called “Frog-kun Saves Tokyo” or something.

“Yes, you are a special visitor, chosen by fate. Ah, there it is!” He quickly pulled a particular book from the shelf, opening the cover at once and showing it to Himari.

“Here is the one you were searching for: ‘Your Story.’”

It was an impressive book, bound in wine-colored cloth and fastened with thread, an unusual binding nowadays. The mysterious letters, written in an unfamiliar alphabet, were gilded in gold, and the title was embellished with a pattern of vines.

As Sanetoshi flipped through the pages, he cleared his throat softly and began reading aloud.

“It happened just three years ago. The girl had two friends. Two dear companions, with whom she shared dreams of the future. The three girls shined on one another, like three stars, drawn together by a gravitational pull.”

 

The empty classroom after school. Himari, Hibari, and Hikari seated themselves at the desks in the corner, grinning at each other as though shining light on one another. A magazine, Sixteen, was open between them. Printed in it was a large announcement for a magazine-sponsored idol audition.

On the digital camera Hikari held, there was a photo of two of them holding a recorder and a melodica, and one of them posing cutely in front of an organ.

“I think this will work.” Himari nodded confidently, seeing the photo.

“Alright, then this will be the one we submit!” said Hikari, taking the idol audition entry form bearing the logo of Sixteen magazine from her backpack. “I filled out most of this yesterday. Now we just need to print out the photo and attach it.”

“Oho, always prepared, Hikari-chan!” Himari was impressed. Whatever they needed, Hikari was always reliable and on top of things, never forgetting anything she needed.

“Is it all good? You didn’t forget anything?” asked Hibari, the most clumsy and forgetful of the three.

“You’re one to ask! It’s fine, it’s the same form as last year. But, what do we do about this?” Hikari’s eyes fell to the one spot on the entry form that she had left blank. It was the line for the name of their group.

“Hmm…” Himari and Hibari frowned.

“I’ve got it! The Otters!” Hibari proposed, her hand shooting up, but Himari and Hikari shook their heads.

“That won’t work. That sounds like we’re comedians, or something. That was our mistake last year,” Hikari admonished.

“Huh, really? Well then, what about the Penguins? It sounds sort of like we’re French girls, right?” Hibari emphasized the word “French” in a foreign-sounding accent.

“Do French girls like penguins?” Himari asked, with innocent skepticism.

“The Penguins sounds more like a boy’s baseball team.” Hikari slumped onto her side, exasperated.

“But it’s cute! Penguins!” Hibari persisted.

It was true, penguins were cute, Himari thought. But the name Penguins brought to mind the image of the three of them waddling around the stage in penguin suits. It didn’t seem very idol-like at all.

“Aitch,” she said softly, a little embarrassed.

“Huh? What?” Hibari and Hikari looked at her, intrigued.

“How about Triple H?” The moment Himari said it, she suddenly felt that this was a wonderful idea, and grinned.

“Triple H?” Hibari looked bewildered.

“Yeah, Hibari, Hikari, and Himari all start with H, so that makes the three of us, Triple H!” Himari puffed out her chest.

“Ah! That’s so good!” Hibari sprung up.

“Yeah, that’s not bad.” Hikari nodded fervently, in a very grown-up fashion.

The three nodded at each other, grinning, and proudly wrote Triple H on the empty line of the entry form.

“Oh, this is great! It feels like we’ve really got a chance this year!” The carefree Hibari swung her legs exuberantly.

Hikari watched her with a smile and started packing up to go home. “Now then, we’ll film the application video tomorrow. Don’t forget your matching ribbons! If you do, we won’t make it in time for the deadline,” she said, signaling to each of them.

“Aye-aye! I’ve already bought mine!” Hibari said with a goofy salute.

“You too, Himari-chan, don’t forget.”

“Yeah, of course,” Himari replied with a smile, but she had a slight uneasy feeling. Just the faintest bit.

 

Sanetoshi shut the book with a loud sound.

Himari’s face hardened just a little, avoiding his gaze in the silent atmosphere of the annex, where no one else was present but them.

“Right. I guess that did happen.” Her voice was very dry.

“Is this book not what you were searching for?” asked Sanetoshi, his voice slipping into a tone that was neither clearly question nor declaration.

Himari had no idea. The Himari of the present day had no need to remember the past, but something came bubbling up hazily in her heart. No. That was wrong, she had plenty to occupy her mind.

Without waiting for a reply, Sanetoshi returned the book to the shelf.

“In that case, let’s look for the next book. There are so very many books here in this place, after all.” Sanetoshi pointed forward. Ahead of him were rows and rows of bookshelves with no end in sight.

The place where they stood was strangely bright, but the more she looked, the darker the endless room got as they proceeded further in. It was by no means cold in this place, but as she tried to look for any walls, a shiver of cold ran up from her feet. The penguin pattered ahead of her. With no other choice, Himari followed after Sanetoshi.

“Are you afraid?” he asked, as though seeing right through her.

“No, I’m not afraid,” she lied. Since being treated to that story of the past, she had begun to wonder a bit more seriously just where this place was. The Sora-no-Ana Annex. Just where did this Hole in the Sky refer to? This young man did not feel very much like a librarian, and why had she followed this penguin in the first place?

She stared at the penguin, but it only glanced back, saying nothing. They walked on and on, but beyond every bookshelf was only another bookshelf. Now and then, something in the landscape seemed to wobble, like the space between two facing mirrors.

“Ah!”

Himari took a few steps forward, and the scenery changed, as though heaven and earth reversed themselves, and she stumbled. Perhaps they truly had reversed. There was still nothing but bookshelves everywhere, but judging by the atmosphere, they had somehow come to a different place, or maybe a different section, she thought.

Sanetoshi stopped in front of a particular bookshelf, and once more pulled out a book.

“Now then. Here is our next tale.” He coolly turned the page and began reading. “That night, after pestering her mother for awhile, the girl finally obtained her matching ribbon. Or so she believed.”

 

Kanba and Shoma sat side by side, engrossed in some evening cartoon show. The noisy sounds seeped all the way to Himari.

Himari sat in front of an old-fashioned Japanese dresser as her mother, Chiemi, neatly arranged her hair. Each time Chiemi combed through her hair, Himari’s head rocked back and forth slightly. She shut her eyes, entrusting her body to that gentle power.

After tying her hair into twin pigtails, secured by ribbons, Chiemi said, “All done!” and patted Himari on the shoulders.

When she opened her eyes, she saw herself in the mirror, her hair tied up with ribbons different from the ones she pictured. The warm feeling in her heart sunk, and she grew gloomy in an instant.

“My, what a beauty we have here! With this I’m sure that audition should be a…”

Himari cut in, interrupting her mother, “It’s wrong. This won’t match at all! It’s all wrong!” She turned around, glaring at her mother as if interrogating.

“I’m sorry. The color you were asking for was sold out. But look, see? This is a similar color, and I think that slightly paler colors suit you anyway.”

The lack of malice in her mother’s smile only made Himari angrier, and she ripped the ribbons from her head, tossing them at her mother. The thrown ribbons fluttered powerlessly to the tatami.

“Himari!” Stunned, Chiemi’s voice grew loud, scolding.

“I don’t want them! If they don’t match with Hibari and Hikari’s, then there’s no point!” She was incredibly sad. Her mother didn’t seemed to care at all about her important ribbon, Himari thought.

Kanba and Shoma turned around in surprise at the shout.

“Sorry. I’ll go to the next town over tomorrow and buy you the right ones,” Chiemi comforted in a gentle voice, understanding Himari’s feelings.

“Tomorrow won’t work! I won’t be ready in time! You promised that you would go out and buy me the right matching ribbon. You’re a liar, Mother!”

Tears burst from Himari like a broken dam as she shouted, her shoulders shaking. She thought of the name of their group that they had written together on the entry form, and the exciting, wonderful day they were supposed to have tomorrow. Himari was old enough to know that this wasn’t entirely Chiemi’s fault, but her sadness and disappointment at all her careful plans being ruined had no other target besides, unfairly, at her mother.

“Himari.” Chiemi was distraught.

“Go buy it right now! You promised! Go out and buy it!” Himari howled like a little beast. She already felt like her fun future with Hibari and Hikari had ended before it began.

It was just then, as she lay on the floor crying, pounding her arms on the tatami in frustration, her legs flailing that her foot struck the dresser, and there was a loud noise. She sat up, thinking she might have broken the dresser.

The mirror fell right toward her.

“Look out!”

For Himari, it happened in an instant. Chiemi covered Himari, and there was a loud sound of breaking glass. Shards of the mirror scattered around them. There was her mother’s familiar smell.

Her brothers went pale and started panicking.

“Sh-she’s bleeding! Mother!”

“Mother!” Himari called to her mother, who was still covering her, moaning softly and not moving.

She could hear her brothers on either side of them. Her mother said nothing, and when she looked at her face, her eyebrows were knit in pain. It was terrifying.

 

The sun had already fully set by the time she was settled into a hospital bed. Chiemi was lying down, her head and arms wrapped in bandages, a large piece of gauze affixed to one cheek. Himari sat beside her with Shoma and Kanba, with no clue at all what she should do. She could only stare at her mother’s pained face. It already felt like a very long time had passed.

“Your injuries were more serious than we thought, and you lost a lot of blood, so please keep taking these painkillers and come by every day so we can check your wounds,” said the doctor who had tended to her mother, standing near the doorway.

“Alright. Thank you very much,” said their father, Kenzan, in a deep voice.

“Now, it should be faint, but there’s a chance it might leave a scar once we remove the stitches on her cheek.”

Himari felt a shock as she heard this from behind. Her whole body ached, and reality seemed to fade away. Her hands, folded atop her knees, trembled faintly.

“Mother,” she said softly, so softly no one could hear.

“Himari, look at me.”

Himari looked up in shock at her mother’s firm voice. Her mother’s soft hand reached out to Himari’s face.

“You aren’t hurt, then?” Her plump fingertips gently stroked Himari’s face.

With some difficulty, Himari shook her head.

“That’s good. I can’t even think what I would do if your face had been cut,” Chiemi said brightly, relieved from the bottom of her heart. “You’re going to be an idol, after all. Oh, goodness, stop making such terrible faces, you three.”

Shoma, Kanba, and Himari all looked crushed with worry.

“I’m sorry, Mother! Mother!” Himari clung to her mother from above the sheets, starting to cry. Kanba and Shoma followed, sniffling and rubbing their eyes.

Kenzan breathed a sigh and watched over them.

Himari clutched the ribbon that she had thrown tightly in her hand.

 

Sanetoshi closed the book, raising one eyebrow with a cruel smile.

“That was quite something. A tale of a mother and daughter’s love. It might even bring one to tears.”

Himari was speechless. She was so overwhelmed by emotions that her expression did not even change.

“Hmm, this wasn’t what you were looking for, either. My, my, quite the challenging visitor we have today.” Sanetoshi’s eyes, with their indescribable light, glinted harshly in the direction of Himari’s chest, right around her heart, as if searching.

“I suppose there’s no choice. Further in, then. Let’s go even deeper.”

He put the book back in its place, his mood now almost seductive, and started walking.

Himari followed silently behind Sanetoshi in a line with the penguin. As they proceeded up and down, further, deeper through the gaps in the spiral of books, the outlines of the shelves and ladders gradually grew vaguer. In the same way, Sanetoshi’s hair seemed to shift colors, and his eyes were so brilliant it was impossible to tell where they were looking, the scenery itself was becoming unstable. Only the rows of heavy books remained clear, unending.

As he walked, his footsteps forming geometric patterns that seemed to bear down upon her mind, Himari faintly wondered if he wasn’t trying to play some cruel trick on her. But she had no idea why he would do that. She did not even know who he was.

“Watch your step.” Sanetoshi looked suddenly at her.

Though the floor that she walked on certainly existed, as her boots were clunking audibly upon it, she seemed to have dangerously lost any sensation of it beneath her feet. The smell of old books that had tied Himari to physical reality also seemed to have grown. In its place was the smell of fresh greenery, growing stronger each time Sanetoshi’s hair swayed.

Just as Himari lost the sensation of her blouse and skirt against her skin, her own existence seemed to be growing indistinct, Sanetoshi suddenly stopped. Then he pulled out another book.

“The next day, the girl revealed everything to the other two: that her mother suffered a wound that would never heal, all due to the girl’s selfishness. That she had not been able to obtain the promised ribbon. By speaking truthfully, perhaps she wished some punishment would befall her. That the other two might end up hating her. Believing this, her desperate words began to crack.”

 

After school the next day, the three stayed behind in the classroom, just as they had agreed. Hibari and Hikari already had their hair tied with the matching ribbons.

As Himari finished telling them the whole story, her throat felt tight, and she wanted to cry.

“I’m really sorry. That’s why I couldn’t bring the ribbon today.”

Hibari and Hikari listened closely to Himari’s story, meek expressions on their faces. Himari felt like a criminal waiting for a judge to hand down their sentence, endlessly repeating her apologies again and again inside her head.

“You two can shoot the video with just the two of you. And the audition, too.”

“Huh? Why?” Hibari asked, voice rising in terror.

“Because I don’t have the ‘Promise Ribbon.’” Himari forced a smile, her face still tearful. Silence fell over the empty classroom.

“I wonder if there’s any way your mother can get better faster,” said Hibari. Himari was surprised.

“Hibari-chan?”

“Your mother’s in the hospital, isn’t she? Let’s do whatever we can!” Hikari said forcefully.

“Uh, okay. But, what about the video? If you don’t shoot it today, you won’t make the…deadline…” Himari’s voice tapered off at the end and vanished. She had no idea how to respond to her friends’ unexpected reaction.

“That doesn’t matter. Our best friend’s mother got hurt. We’re worried!” Hikari grinned, squeezing Himari’s hand.

“Hikari-chan.” Himari was moved, her cheeks growing red, desperately holding back the tears that seemed ready to fall.

“Hmm, but I wonder what it is we can do.” Hibari folded her arms, thinking hard.

“What if we had her eat something extra nutritious?” Hikari wrinkled her face as well.

“That’s it! I read it in a book I got from the library, ‘Barefoot Gon!’ If your sick mother just drinks the lifeblood of a carp, she’ll get better!” Hibari flung out in proposal.

As the pair immediately began making plans, Himari was happily dumbstruck. She never expected things to go this well. She never imagined that the other two cherished her so much.

“Let’s go to the courtyard, Himari-chan!” Hikari hastily put her backpack on her back.

Hibari picked up her bag too, and gently took Himari’s hand.

Himari gave a little nod.

 

The little pond beside the shed in the courtyard was called the “Friendship Pond.” Nobody was sure why; the name had already been set by the time Himari and the others had first enrolled in this school.

A single, colorful carp swam placidly around the shallow, narrow pond, making a burbling noise now and then.

The girls hiked up their skirts and rolled up their pants legs like bloomers, shedding their shoes and socks, and each stepped into the pond. The bottom was slimy with dirt and moss and algae. They waded into the water, in pursuit of the
large fish.

“There it is! Over there!” Hikari called to the other two softly.

“Huh? Where, where?” Hibari frantically splashed around the pond.

“Hibari-chan, you can’t make all that noise! Himari-chan, it went that way!”

“Got it.” Himari was flustered but followed the fish through the water with her eyes.

“Hey, get over there! Over there!” Hibari swung her feet, trying to herd the fish.

“Quietly! Don’t rush.” Hikari moved through the pond slowly, silently following the fish.

The three slowly surrounded the fish. Then, with a soft, “One, two…” and a single, “Three!” they all reached for the fish at once. With the other two’s help, Himari pulled the struggling carp up.

“We did it!” Hibari and Hikari looked at each other and shouted.

“But this is super smelly and slippery!”

The three laid the carp down in the grass. It struggled so much it took both Hibari and Hikari to hold it down, while Himari approached with a bat, taking a stance like she was about to split a watermelon.

“Hurry up and do it! Strike it down in one blow! Smack the life out of it!” Hikari pressed the carp’s head hard against the ground.

“Okay.” The bizarre situation and the state of the fish frightened Himari a little, but she swung the bat upward, just as Hikari said.

“Hey! What are you all doing?!” The three leaped up, frozen at the booming voice. They slowly turned around to see their homeroom teacher, standing there with a fearsome expression.

 

The three stood in a line in the faculty room that evening, having dried their legs with the towels they were provided, wearing their slippers over bare feet. All of their lips were pressed tight, looking firmly down and away from their teacher’s eyes. A red backpack lay at each of their feet.

The three of them had joined forces to try and murder the school’s pet carp. Obviously, their homeroom teacher could not overlook this. However, the trio did not speak a word.

“What in the world were you all doing? That fish was a gift from our alumni. To do something like that…” The teacher, sitting in a chair, looked at them, placing a hand on each knee. “You’re not going to answer me? In that case, I have no choice but to explain the situation to your families,” he said in a stern voice, reaching for the phone atop his desk and picking up the receiver.

“I-I was…” Himari finally opened her mouth. I was the one who couldn’t bring a ribbon, and it was our special promise ribbon, but my mother bought the wrong color, and I threw a tantrum, and then, and then…

“It was my fault! I got desperate to drink that fish’s blood, and I forced them to go along with it!” Hibari forced out an excuse, seeing the state of Himari.

“Th-that’s not true! I was the one who brought them into this! I really wanted to live to be a hundred! I wanted a longer life!” Hikari cut in, swiftly interrupting Hibari. “I heard that if you drink a carp’s lifeblood, you’ll live longer!” she added in a mumble.

Himari looked at the other two, speechless. Her thoughts jumbled when she tried to speak, but now it had gone completely blank.

“That’s not true. The truth is, my mother…” she said in a faltering voice. She couldn’t let the other two take the blame. She was afraid, but she had to speak the truth.

“No!” Hibari shouted.

“That’s wrong!” Hikari insisted.

“But…” said Himari, her voice pathetic.

“It was me! So, if you have to call anyone’s family, please call mine!” Hikari was fully back to her usual, firm self.

“No, no! I was the one who got them into this! So, you have to call my house!” said Hibari, talking over her.

Finally, the tears Himari held back began to drop down her cheeks. As if in sympathy, tears began streaming from Hibari and Hikari as well.

Their teacher, troubled to no end, let out a deep sigh.

“What is going on here?”

At least the fish was not dead. He stopped them in the nick of time. Plus, judging by the state of the three of them, there was some kind of extenuating circumstance at work, so they had not done this out of malice. They still had to be reproached, but there was no point in punishing them. He reminded the three of them never to do anything like this again and sent the girls home.

It was already growing dim in the halls. The three left the elementary school behind, thoroughly exhausted.

“Hibari-chan. Hikari-chan.” They hurried home along the dark road, their three red backpacks in a row.

“Hm?”

“What?”

The pair replied nonchalantly.

“Thank you,” Himari said quietly, from the depths of her heart.

“What are you saying?! We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“That’s right. We’re Triple H! It’s all for one, one for all!”

The three grinned at each other. Their eyes were all red from crying.

 

Sanetoshi forcefully shut the book with a sigh.

“It would seem that this one has not caught your fancy, either.”

Expressionless, Himari averted her gaze from Sanetoshi’s strange eyes. She hated how she had no idea what he was seeing, that she couldn’t tell which way he was looking, even when he was facing her.

“But that’s alright. I understand.”

The coloring of the whole annex began to shift again. The light grew hazy and dim, and it seemed the space they were floating through grew clouded, the air heavy.

“Understand…” Understand what? she tried to say, but her throat tightened, and she could not form words.

As she steeled herself and looked back at Sanetoshi’s eyes, his mysterious-colored hair swayed, its light leaving her dazzled.

Sanetoshi laughed softly.

“Indeed. This is the tale that you really wished to read,” he said in a terrifying whisper.

 

Classes ended at the elementary school, and students were noisily packing up to head home. Himari quickly left the building, walking all alone. She shuffled across the firm dirt of the school grounds. She wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, but her backpack suddenly felt heavier than it ever had before. She stared at her own dragging feet as she walked.

Something smacked against her backpack. She turned around, but no one was nearby. There were only the students in the window of the classroom she had just left, lined up like little bells and staring at her. Another dirty eraser came flying her way, though it missed her.

The students’ eyes studied her with hostility. She was some unfathomable creature, incompatible with the collective reality of their own little world. An ungodly thing. As far as her classmates were concerned, things that they could not understand were bad. Himari thought this unreasonable, but she could not bring herself to blame Hibari and Hikari, who had shrunk back, watching Himari from the edge of the group.

When she looked toward the pair, they vanished from the window, so as to avoid her gaze. A flat silence slowly fell on Himari’s heart, which was overtaken by a deep sorrow and pain.

That was probably when it started. Plunged into the depths of huge, violent emotions, feeling as though time stopped, Himari began drifting, all alone. Whatever she might learn, however her body might grow, even if she got sick or cried, all of that only slipped by her, never truly reaching her heart.

It was absolutely required for the continued existence of the Takakura Himari, who always smiled like a pale, little flower.

 

“I remember. That was the last day I went to school. That was the last time I saw those two, as well,” Himari said dully.

“And then, two years later, you were reunited with them. In the cruelest possible way, which you never imagined.” Sanetoshi chuckled, but Himari was unshaken.

It happened one day when she was browsing all alone at a bookstore. As usual, she picked up a magazine that she often read, Sixteen. She turned the page and was greeted with a headline of “Double H ☆ A fresh debut!” Next to it was a photo of Hibari and Hikari, smiling cheek to cheek and dressed in cutesy clothes. It was a large spread. There were subway posters and advertisements and music programs on TV. Double H secured fame for themselves as a kitschy pop duo; they had become idols, admired by girls of their generation. There was the lovably playful Hibari, and the cool, mature Hikari. The pair were perfect idols.

Above a shimmering stage, wearing darling outfits, Double H danced and sang. There were waves of loud cheers, and glowsticks glittering like stardust.

There was a poster with the Double H logo on it, with their catchphrase, “Don’t give up on your dreams!” printed in large, colorful letters. Their bright voices flowed from the TV.

The two of them, dancing together, reflected hazily in Himari’s large eyes, and each time she blinked, the image was burned into the back of her eyelids, engraved there.

“If a thing like that had never happened, maybe you would have been singing onstage with them. Yes, as Triple H!” Sanetoshi smiled coldly, bereft of compassion.

“Maybe. But that’s in the past.”

Himari thought of herself now, out of the hospital, standing, breathing. The world was wide before her, and the man before her was not malicious, merely lining up the facts.

“Oh? Then why were you were searching for this story? To bathe yourself in some piddling self-pity?”

Sanetoshi seemed refreshed. His hair swayed, and a pale blue light spread throughout the annex. The heavy air returned to its original feather-lightness, and the gloomy rows of books now looked like treasure troves of indispensable memories.

“No. I just wanted to be sure that it was really over.” The solid, geometric-patterned floor returned beneath Himari’s feet.

“Really? The truth is that you resent those two quite a bit.”

As Sanetoshi walked, the patterns floated up and vanished in his wake.

“I don’t resent them. They were my true friends. Even now, I’m still cheering them on, deep in my heart.”

This was how she truly felt. Himari was fully aware that she was far away from any sort of normal, happy life, but she’d never been inclined to get indiscriminately angry or tearful about that fact. She knew that if she did, she would only be pointlessly hurting herself.

“You truly are a wonderful girl,” Sanetoshi laughed.

Himari merely stood there firmly, looking back at him.

“And yet, why would such a terrible thing befall such a kind and radiant young woman?” Sanetoshi brought his hand to his chin as if pondering, seeming genuinely curious. One eyebrow was raised, his long eyelashes lowered.

“I don’t know.”

“You came here to find that answer, didn’t you? Because you wanted to know the reason?”

“No. I don’t know why I’m here.”

Certainly, she wondered many, many times why only she and her siblings seemed to suffer such terrible fates. But no matter how she looked at it, she never came up with the answer. And yet, was it inevitable, or perhaps fated, that she would end up in this place, unconsciously searching for a reason?

Sanetoshi languidly put the book back on the shelf.

“You said that it’s all in the past, but has that story truly finished?”

She didn’t know when her end would come, but to Himari, that period of her life was a completely different story. And so, she closed that book.

As she fell into a placid silence, Sanetoshi smiled at her gently.

“I told you, didn’t I? Somewhere here is a volume that you truly desire to read, deep down in your heart. In other words, your story has not yet ended. For example…” He stopped, slipping his hand between the books, and pulled something out from within. It was the hat with the penguin design. “There are still these sorts of things.”

“What is that?”

Looking at it, Himari could not recall seeing this hat. It was different than the one she had seen in the aquarium’s gift shop, with a more imposing, elaborate, and mysterious penguin face upon it. Himari stared fixedly at it. It was cute, but there was something deeply unsettling about the lustrous glint of its eyes.

“This is a garland for the bride of fate,” Sanetoshi said emphatically, handing her the hat.

“Bride? Me? Whose bride am I supposed to be?” Himari asked, leaning forward and looking at the penguin hat before her.

“That answer probably lies in ‘The Place where Fate Resides.’”

“The place where…fate resides? Where is that?”

Distracted by the conversation, Himari didn’t notice Sanetoshi’s sudden and swift approach, freezing her in place with those universes condensed into his eyes. His hands grasped her slender arms and pulled them near. The two gazed at each other, as if spinning in a dance while the Sora no Ana violently transformed around them. Their long hair whipped in the wind, intermingling.

As Sanetoshi slowly placed the hat atop Himari’s head, suddenly, as if bursting open, she transformed into the sharp, red-eyed Penguin Queen. There was a wide ribbon fixed proudly at her chest, a large, voluminous skirt spreading from the frills on the tail of her corset. Tall, black enameled boots. Her long hair billowed out in the white wind. Himari could not draw her eyes away from Sanetoshi and his small universes.

“You don’t remember, then? You should know this place. In that case, you’ll return to your former world, and I will tell you the answer when I am needed. I will tell you where ‘fate’ resides, and whose bride you are. Until then…”

Seeing Himari’s distress at not knowing the answer, Sanetoshi smiled kindly and moved to press his lips to her smaller ones.

“No.” Her fingertips, sticking out from the end of her gloves, halted Sanetoshi’s pale, well-formed lips.

Finally, the floating pair stopped spinning, and the Sora-no-Ana Annex itself began to drift away. The bookshelves, the enormous number of books, and the beautiful floor all turned into tiny block and plain lines, or spheres and the lettered lines of many words, and slowly lost their form, scattering away.

“That’s a pity.” Sanetoshi sneered and pulled away from Himari.

Sanetoshi was the only thing that remained in the space, and Himari fell steadily away. She could see numerous books out of the corner of her eye. Then she spotted that penguin, which was now accompanied by two other identical penguins. All three squeezed themselves down in a row into an insulated box.

Her surroundings grew darker and darker, like she was in the depths of a great big well. Between the fluttering of the sleeves of her dress and her own hair in her eyes, Himari’s consciousness began to drift away.

“You mustn’t forget this.” From far, far above her, Sanetoshi tossed a bright red apple her way. The little fruit, falling slowly down in tandem with Himari, awakened one more memory within her.

 

A rust-covered electric fan spun with a violent whirring sound. Beside it sat a number of children in stained and shabby clothing, huddled up, arms around their knees.

A little boy, who skillfully caught the apple that came falling down, called out to Himari, who was there as well.

“Let’s eat the fruit of fate together.”

The little girl’s expression did not change, but she was so happy she wanted to cry.

“Thank you for choosing me.” For Himari, that was unmistakably the fruit of love.

Though it was dim, Himari was stunned by this memory.

That was right. There was someone who was very dear to Himari. He was her fated person. And yet, she could not clearly recall the face of the boy she had seen when she looked up.

Finally, she turned her eyes to a bright light, and there she saw herself, sleeping in the morgue of the hospital. Her breath hitched in surprised, but as all the strength ran from her body, she lost consciousness, as if being swallowed.

 

Himari awoke on the red sofa in their living room. She was dotted with a strange sweat, ever so slightly. Beside her was the scarf she knitted, and atop her stomach was Penguin No. 3, sleeping soundly. She lifted her heavy head and looked toward the kitchen, where she could see Kanba preparing dinner. There was the delicious smell of dashi. Outside, she could hear a pelting rain.

“Ah, I fell asleep!” Himari slowly sat up, stretching and breathing deeply. “I think I was having some kind of dream. I can’t remember it at all, though.”

No. 3 woke up abruptly with bleary eyes, rubbing its eyes and looking up at Himari.

“Ngh. My head kind of hurts,” Himari said softly.

She stood up suddenly at the shrill sound of the telephone, and called toward the kitchen, “I’ll get it, Kan-chan!”

She took a breath and lifted the receiver to her ear, saying in as alert a voice as possible, “Hello, Takakura residence.”

Kanba peeked out from the kitchen to see what was going on.

“Sho-chan…was in an accident? Ringo-chan, what are you saying?” For a moment, she was suspicious, wondering if this was still part of her dream. But Ringo’s sobbing voice on the other line was clearly real. She could not feel her legs, and her voice went hollow. “Ringo-chan?”