Chapter 05
Chapter 05
IN A HOTEL SUITE with a view of the nighttime lights of Tokyo Tower, there was a bathroom with a large marble tub, and a sitting room that was furnished with a leather sofa and a television. On the round glass table beside the sofa were seasonal flowers, and either wine or champagne to suit the evening’s mood, along with a number of other liquors lined up in the minibar, to be consumed at one’s pleasure.
In the bedroom was a queen bed in a matching beige brown. Yuri sunk into the sofa, staring dazedly at the familiar bed, gulping down carbonated mineral water.
She enjoyed how spacious the room was, but there were far too many unnecessary items. They were only provided when she and Yuuki Tsubasa came to this room, anyway. The expensive alcohol and lovely bath and wonderful view were the sorts of things expected to be enjoyed together by two people who loved each other. Taking that into consideration, such entertainments were nothing but a waste of time and money whenever she came to Yuuki’s place.
That evening was a great success for “Tokikago Yuri’s Final Performance: The Tragedy of M ~ Taking Flight.” Both the theater lobby and the green room was filled with mountains of colorful flowers sent by celebrities from every sphere. The audience was deeply moved by the sight of Yuri in costume singing and dancing as she gazed deeply into Yuuki’s eyes, the whole theater erupting into applause.
As she left the theater, Yuri waved to her fans, tears streaming but her smile bright. However, her mind was preoccupied with what she was meant to be doing from there on out. All those faces she glimpsed out in the darkened rows as she glided out onto the stage in a cart shaped like a swan—not one of them knew the true Yuri. All those envious gazes saw only the beauty upon her face. She no longer required any of them.
“What’s wrong? Feeling a little worn out?” Yuuki asked as she stepped out of the shower. She was clad in a bathrobe and toweling off the tight curls of her short, golden brown hair.
Yuri took a moment to admire Yuuki’s body. She was nearly five-foot-six and well-proportioned, her face aglow in the light and the steam from the bathroom.
“No, I’m all right,” Yuri told her. “I’m about to take a shower myself.” She set her glass down on the table and stood.
“Take your time,” said Yuuki from behind her, amused.
Yuri had never bathed together with Yuuki. She had been invited to do so countless times, but she always bathed alone. There was no reason for them to bathe together, after all.
She put on the water in the tub, but before she removed her make-up, she glanced at the diamond ring on her left hand. She almost forgot it was there, even though she was married to Tabuki Keiju.
Her face cleaned, she removed her showy white gold earrings and her long pearl necklace, taking down her carefully styled hair. She stripped out of her black-and-grass-patterned stockings, black sleeveless dress, short slip and underwear, and sunk into the tub without so much as a glance in the mirror of the dressing area. Her skin was practically white beneath the water.
Sometimes, Yuri wondered why she slept with other people. Was she seeking pleasure? Was she lonely? Or maybe she was just subconsciously hoping that someone might appear and tell her she was truly beautiful.
She stroked her breasts and her belly and her back, finding her body just as hideous as ever.
Yuri lay atop the bed, thinking about how she was someone’s wife and how this was an act of pure wickedness, especially considering that she didn’t need Yuuki anymore. It felt even more bold and immoral than usual.
Yuuki loved seeing Yuri like this, and told her over and over again how wonderful she was, how lovely she was, and how much she loved her. She said it so many times it was sickening.
“Want anything to drink?” Yuuki stood by the single glass-faced wall, wearing a dressing gown over her bare skin. She gazed at the scenery outside, or perhaps her own reflection, as she happily sipped her brandy.
Yuri, wrapped in the sheets, did not reply, simply staring at the massive figure of Tokyo Tower. Perhaps it was because “she” was gone that Yuri had become such a wicked woman. But this would be the last time.
Starting now, Yuri was taking it all back.
“Fly, Istanbul,” said Yuuki. Her eyes sparked as she sat on the bed and pulled Yuri close. “You were amazing tonight. I haven’t gotten that fired up in a long time.” Her gaze fell bashfully.
Yuuki was always fired up. She was so passionate that Yuri was jealous of her. “Hand me my underwear,” said Yuri, slowly sitting up.
Yuuki reached down over the bed and handed Yuri the fine, lacy undergarments that were thrown haphazardly onto the rug.
“That husband of yours is such a buzzkill. You only get this kind of feeling between two women.”
Yuuki was the one who was a buzzkill. Naturally, she was opposed when she first heard that Yuri, who she assumed only had love for other women, would be marrying Tabuki. Why? She asked. You don’t need him. She even proposed that they somehow live together instead. For obvious reasons, this was kept a secret from her, and she hadn’t realized that she had never truly been loved in all this time. She was the belle of the proud ranks of the Sunshiny Opera Company.
“You’re such a bore.”
Yuuki opened her mouth with a surprised, “Huh?”
“I’ve been feeling this way for a while, but sex with you is always so predictable. Haven’t you noticed that? Did you really think that technique of yours could satisfy a woman? Seriously, you are a woman.” Yuri slipped out of bed, quickly throwing on her clothes.
Yuuki dropped her still brandy-filled glass upon the carpet.
“I’m going home. To my ‘buzzkill’ of a husband.” Yuri smiled softly as she picked up her coat and handbag. Even without makeup, her face was still clear and beautiful.
“Is this a joke?” Yuuki demanded.
“Do you think I would tell such a humorless joke?” Yuri pulled her large sunglasses from her bag, donned them, and left the room. She sighed deeply as she headed for the elevators.
Just as she reached the car that was brought around to the hotel entrance, Yuuki, having hastily re-dressed, caught up with her.
“W-wait! Please wait! If there’s some reason for this, please tell me!” Yuuki Tsubasa’s voice, so perfect for the stage, echoed around the entrance. “You and I are partners for life, aren’t we? We’ve always been together, both onstage and in bed.”
Yuri turned back, interrupting her. “Yes, and I’ve quit the troupe, haven’t I? Have you already forgotten that? I’m leaving both the stage, and you. Don’t misunderstand me. Never again am I sleeping with some washed-up actress. Try not to let the number of times we’ve been together fuel your attachment.”
Yuuki froze in shock. “You’re…you’re lying! You’re lying, right? Say you’re lying.”
Yuri ignored her, stepping into the red sports car and slamming the door shut. Yuuki ran after her, pounding violently on the door. Yuri rolled down the driver’s side window about halfway, nonplussed. Yuuki clung to the edge of the window, her breath fogging faintly on the glass.
“Are you really okay with this? With breaking up with me?” Yuuki’s face was pale, not a hint of gloss on her lips, and her voice was husky. She tried unsuccessfully to suppress a wicked sort of laugh. “I might just start spreading rumors.”
Ah, so this was how it was going to end. Such hideous conduct from the beautiful Yuuki. Yuri started the engine, barely looking at her. “An unfortunate human being to the last,” she said as she rolled up the window and drove away.
She glanced at the rearview mirror and caught a glimpse of Yuuki in hot pursuit, screaming her love for Yuri so loudly that it echoed throughout the parking lot. The sound didn’t reach Yuri’s ears, and even if it had, it wouldn’t have changed anything.
Once she drove a short distance from the hotel, Yuri took a deep breath. The cool night air washed over her, carrying away all other scents.
Perhaps the reason she worked so hard at her acting career was that someone had once called her “beautiful,” and Yuri wanted to confirm that for herself. She wanted to be someone who was sought after, someone who was needed. But as she rose to the top spot in the troupe, her beauty became nothing more than a commodity, which only wounded her even more. Everyone praised her for her beauty, but the more praise she received, the emptier it felt. No matter how she tried to pour her passions into noble, beautiful things, hoping to cast aside her hideous, self-pitying heart, she was fundamentally a wretched creature. When Yuri was bathed in the hot spotlights onstage, she felt like her body would burn to ashes. If only she could live a solitary life as whatever truly beautiful thing lay within her soul. How splendid she could be if she could only embrace that beauty, polishing it until it glistened. Would that she could cast away everything that kept her trapped here, and fly right now to her side.
The flashy red car accelerated through the nighttime streets, shining in the city lights.
Although Yuri’s heart was connected to her body physically, at times it felt completely detached. Still, she could bury a lot of darkness in the corners of that heart. She would bury it beneath exorbitantly priced alcohol, deliriously delicious food, and well-made clothing to cloak her body. And, of course, one-night stands.
All of her transient lovers had opened their eyes wide in shock upon first seeing her body, yet they still lavished her with sweet words—that it was nothing to worry about, that she was still beautiful nonetheless. Yuri knew that was always a lie. However, whether a lie or the truth, if she were not called beautiful from time to time, the urge to carve up her own flesh began creeping in. Even though she knew that no matter who she slept with, it changed nothing.
No one could touch Yuri’s heart, nor would she let them do so.
Yuri worked so hard to live this long in a world without her; the concerns of others were nothing to her. There was only one person who kept Yuri tied to this world. She was the one who would tell her with utmost sincerity that she was truly beautiful. Yuri couldn’t afford to let others grow attached to her. Even if that meant denying anyone else in this world who might truly want her, Yuri would accept nothing less than once again being with the one to whom she swore an eternal bond.
Yuri’s eyes blurred with tears. Gripping the wheel tightly, accelerating even faster, she began to quietly sing. Both her resonant voice and her teardrops, which tumbled into the darkness like pearls, floated away into the night air.
Hurry, I want to see you soon. I have to keep going until I can.
After my afternoon lessons, I left the school building in a bit of a daze. My brother had left early to see Himari in the hospital. I was sure that our homeroom teacher, Tabuki, would give us plenty of leeway again once we explained the circumstances. The only thing that mattered was that Himari was alive.
All throughout the day, I was lost in thought. Himari’s life was saved, thanks to Dr. Watase Sanetoshi. Couldn’t that be enough? What had the penguin-hatted queen’s parting words to us meant?
On top of everything else, we lost the Penguindrum, and now this world would be set upon by the hares of darkness once more. We, the children of cursed fate, would have judgment cast down upon us. If we did not obtain the Penguindrum and change tracks, what exactly would happen? More importantly, what could happen?
“Shoma-kun?”
As I walked along, staring at my own shuffling feet, a voice intruded into my thoughts, and I looked up with a start. Oginome-san, dressed in her sailor uniform, stood out amongst a group of Gaiennishi High students on their way home.
“Jeez, I’ve been waiting for you forever!” she said, puffing out her cheeks theatrically and rolling her eyes. “I texted you so many times. Is Himari-chan out of the hospital yet?”
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I’m in a hurry.” What did my face look like in that moment? I lowered my gaze, stepping around her.
“Just a minute! What’s wrong? Why are you avoiding me? You won’t answer my calls or my texts. I’ve been worried.” She tugged at the sleeve of my uniform, tickling my elbow a little.
“Well, what do you expect? There’s nothing I can do to make things up to you.”
“Make things up to me? What are you talking about?” she asked in her usual manner, though sounding slightly flustered.
There was nothing I could do for her to make up for the fact that my family had killed her sister. I could not look her straight in the eye, instead gathering only vague impressions of her. Her loafers. Her thigh-high socks on her slender legs. Her scent.
“What is it you want me to do?” I asked. “If this could be fixed by prostrating myself in front of you, I’d do it a hundred times, even a thousand. But it wouldn’t do anything, would it? There’s no way you could ever forgive us.”
Hares of darkness. Their massive, black ears flapping, casting a great shadow upon my heart, rather than the world. Were these my true colors? I was trying to hurt Oginome-san again. More importantly, I was trying to hurt myself.
“Forgive you? That’s never even crossed my mind. Look at me. Let’s talk.” She reached out to me weakly, but I ignored her.
“No. You should never, ever forgive us. You should hope our family sinks into the pits of despair and falls into ruin. I bet you’ll just keep watching us until that comes true, won’t you? Everyone else did. Everyone left us, and the three of us had to live all alone.”
I was weak. I knew that she held no ill will toward us, that she didn’t think of me or my siblings that way. But what if that changed someday? What if she were to suddenly hate us, and condemn us as the children of murderers?
“I’m not like them. I would never leave you all over something like that. I love Himari-chan, and I—”
“Just stop it already!” I raised my voice, cutting her off. A few of our fellow commuters looked our way, mistaking it for a lovers’ spat. “I don’t want to hear it anymore! I don’t want to hurt anyone else, or be hurt, more than I already have. What’s the point? It’s better if we never see each other again!”
Now that the truth had come to light, it was best for both of us that we went our separate ways, riding the rails of our own fates. That way, we would never be able to hurt one another again someday.
“Hurt…? I see,” she whispered. “I guess I was only thinking about myself. Seeing me, and talking to me, hurts you. I’m sorry. I was stupid.” The sorrow was heavy in her voice.
“That’s enough, all right?” Her hand was still holding my sleeve, and I jerked it away, pulling away from her. I walked away quickly, not looking back to see the tears that were probably in her eyes.
If I had started crying there, I suspect that my fellow classmates might have said something. In her case, however, someone would probably come up to her and shout terrible threats my way, unable to stand the sight of her tears. Still, if some other guys were to show up, wanting to comfort her, then it was none of my business. It would be good for her. For me and my siblings, a normal happiness like that was impossible.
Kanba sat on the edge of a high-backed stool in the examination room, and placed a thick envelope upon the white wooden desk. Sanetoshi sat on the other side, his arms resting on the desktop.
Kanba still had little confidence in this doctor sitting before him. Nor did he have any in the unusual examination room that appeared within this hospital, nor in Himari’s special room. Furthermore, there were those suspicious children who followed the man around as his assistants. No matter how you looked at it, this whole thing was bizarre. However, there was no other way to save Himari at this point. If these methods required money, then Kanba had no choice but to furnish it.
“How stunning. To think you could collect so much money in such a short amount of time!” Sanetoshi smiled and drew an ampoule from the pocket of his lab coat, setting it on the desk. However, upon seeing the relief on Kanba’s face, he quickly stowed it back away. “Sadly, although I applaud your efforts, this is not quite enough.”
His hair was loosely arranged, and he wore a light blue button-down shirt with a pale green vest. He had on beige corduroy pants, and dark brown loafers. His arm was encircled by a wristwatch with a black band and face with a starry night design. Lastly, he had a mysterious smell, like fresh greenery. The exact scent changed every time he moved, just like the otherworldly light shining from his hair.
“For now, take this.”
The money should have been enough. Kanba was growing irritated at Sanetoshi’s relaxed, amused expression.
“The market is a living thing, you know. Every day, the lives of children are placed in a hierarchy by the market’s whims. Some children are saved. Some are not,” Sanetoshi said quietly, lowering his eyes.
“Fine. I’ll do something by the end of the day,” Kanba replied, quashing his own feelings. No matter how angry he was, Himari would be dead without Sanetoshi.
“My, how reliable.” Sanetoshi crossed his legs, satisfied.
“So, when will she be able to leave the hospital?”
“When the secrets of this world are revealed.”
“Huh?” Kanba looked up, but Sanetoshi smoothly averted his gaze.
“Hmm. I think after she has a few more ampoules, she should be recovered enough to return home.” The doctor grinned. The hair hanging in front of his cheeks swayed with a pale blue hue.
“I’ll be back.” Kanba stood swiftly, turning his back.
“You aren’t going up to see her?” Sanetoshi asked, in a way that did not sound at all malicious, as though it was perhaps genuine curiosity.
“There’s something I need to do first.” Kanba said as he left the room.
“Even more stunning.” Sanetoshi slowly recrossed his legs.
Himari sat upon the bed in her spacious single room—so different from all the rooms she occupied during previous hospital stays—knitting with No. 3 at her side. She was making gifts in preparation for the chilly weather on the horizon. They were simple fringed scarves, one of peachy pink yarn and one of blue, with starry symbols stitched in white on each.
“All done! The warm and toasty scarves are complete!” She spread one out to display it, and No. 3 clapped its hands earnestly.
She examined the details of her handiwork, then beamed and rubbed them along her cheeks. “What splendid achievements!” she said to herself. “I am quite satisfied!”
No. 3 nodded happily and embraced Himari, burying its face in the scarves as well.
Himari tried holding up the scarves against the photo of Double H that decorated the cover of Sixteen magazine on her lap.
“This one’s for Hibari-chan, and this one for Hikari-chan. I wonder if they’ll like them.” She felt her heart suddenly quiet at her own carefree words. Just who would like something like this? She would be lucky if they even accepted them. The place from where the pair on the cover were smiling was leagues away from Himari. A lonesome feeling bubbled up inside her. She was so isolated from society already, and the world was leaving her farther and farther behind.
Himari shoved the scarves and the magazine into the trash bin, and curled up in the middle of the mattress. Having pointless hopes and dreams only led to sadness. She simply needed to quiet her heart and while away her days in boredom, just as she always had.
“Pardon me.” Sanetoshi said as he opened the door of the room, Shirase and Souya in tow. Himari, who usually greeted him with a smile, remained beneath the sheets, staring silently.
“So, my princess, how are you feeling today?” Sanetoshi asked as he walked over to the side of the bed, but there was no response. “Splendidly, I hope.”
Suddenly, his eyes fell upon the scarves sticking out from the trash bin.
“Oh? What happened to these?” he asked, picking up the two scarves.
Himari peeked her head out from under the sheets. “I threw them away,” she whispered. By her feet, atop the sheets, No. 3 rolled over, pretending to be sulking in bed as well.
“But you knitted them with such care,” Sanetoshi said. “They’re so wonderfully made. You really are skilled. I thought they were a gift for someone special.” Sanetoshi retrieved the scarves from the bin and spread them out, admiring them.
“Forget it.” Himari kicked her legs and curled back up under the sheets, utterly withdrawn.
“What’s wrong?” Sanetoshi smiled.
“No one would ever be happy to get a scarf that I made.” Her voice was muffled.
“Hmm. Well then, perhaps I’ll take them.” Before she could reply, Sanetoshi looked at the two scarves and wrapped the pink one around his neck.
“Huh?” Himari poked her head back out, surprised. She looked at Sanetoshi, her hair slightly ruffled, wide eyes as curious as a small animal’s.
Shirase and Souya appeared mildly surprised by his actions as well.
“It’s stunning. They’re both so beautiful. Matches my outfit today, too, don’t you think?” Sanetoshi smiled.
Shirase and Souya applauded in sync, saying, “Amazing, Dr. Sanetoshi! It looks splendid on you!”
“Right?”
“But…” Himari looked down, her cheeks slightly pink.
“I mean, you were just going to throw them away, weren’t you? So…”
“I-It’s fine. You can have them, I guess.” She turned away, pouting.
Still smiling, Sanetoshi took a syringe from Souya’s hands. As far as Sanetoshi was concerned, Himari was utterly adorable. Yet he simply had no idea how to make heads or tails of anything else about her. “Now, can I go ahead and give you your shot?”
“Okay.” Her voice was minuscule. Her long eyelashes cast shadows on her far-too-pale cheeks. Himari was quite accustomed to receiving injections, so she quickly pulled back her hair and nonchalantly opened the front of her nightgown.
Her innocent manner already had a femininity to it, which so befuddled Takakura Kanba. Honestly, Sanetoshi thought, humans are such incomprehensible, wretched things.
“What do you think of this room? Anything lacking?” Sanetoshi politely asked, though he already knew the answer.
“Nope. I’ve never stayed in such a nice hospital room before.” It seemed that the slightest bit of her energy returned. Even if her gifts never made it to her brothers, as long as somebody could make use of something knitted by the likes of her, then perhaps that was enough to raise her spirits.
“I’m glad to hear it,” said Sanetoshi as he pushed the cold syringe cleanly against Himari’s bare skin.
Numerous slingshot-style modified guns sat in parts, all in a row. There were tubes loaded with bullets, and laser lights to keep one’s aim steady. There were thick bands to propel powerful projectiles the size of ping-pong balls, sturdy handles to grip the body of the gun tight, and scopes to see targets from far away.
“Goodness, we’ll have to crush her soon,” Masako said to the voice on the other end of the phone. She polished the lasers and the lenses clean, and blew dust from the tubes and the scope. She put the guns neatly back together and held each one up in front of her, making certain that each red light shone with proper aim and that each strap was strong enough.
“Yes, as soon as possible would be ideal,” said the low voice, as emotionless as ever.
“Are you certain that the woman possesses the other half of the diary?”
“Yes. Stunning, isn’t it?”
“Indeed. I’m getting chills. I’ll get it this time for certain,” Masako declared, and hung up the receiver.
One bullet rolled across the tabletop, coming to a stop against the diary half. Masako picked up the bullet and loaded one of the guns, taking aim at a plaster figure.
Beside her, in an armchair, Esmeralda’s eyes were glistening, a teacup in hand.
“Esmeralda, I’m going vixen hunting!” Masako was about to leave, but then her eyes fell on the old clock on the wall. “Although I better start somewhere else first.”
As she left Gaiennishi High behind, Ringo wept deeply, feeling as though she were cast aside from everything and everyone in the world. The sun had already set long ago, and Shinjuku was flooded with crisp air and neon lights.
There was no doubt that the accident which caused her sister’s death sixteen years ago was a serious matter. That incident altered the fates of Ringo and her family, as well as the fates of so many other people. And yet, as they lived on with more and more new feelings arising, they couldn’t really escape that fate, could they? Would defying fate end only in tears?
Ringo shuffled along aimlessly, clutching the magazine that inspired her to talk to Shoma. Her handkerchief was soaked from the salty tears that refused to stop, no matter how many times she dabbed them away.
Men. Ringo had thought them so important. A man had now seen her true form. A man had decisively refused her.
It felt as though there was a large vacuum beneath her chest or somewhere in her gut.
She looked at the magazine to see the tagline “A Victory for the Meeker Kind! Plus, how to win his heart with just a glance. ☆”
What a thoughtless, vapid tagline, Ringo thought, then said aloud, “I’m such an idiot.” If one could achieve success with such half-hearted measures, then she should have been able to do the same with effort. “Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot!”
She crumpled the magazine up tight and tossed it away, crouching down and muttering, “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” repeatedly.
“Ringo-chan.”
Ringo heard a car come to a stop, and someone calling to her. She turned around and saw Yuri in the driver’s seat of a glistening car with a sharp profile.
“Get in,” Yuri said, opening the passenger-side door.
She had no reason to get in, but she had no reason not to. Either way, it was better than just lumbering around out here by herself. She quickly dabbed her eyes with the handkerchief once more, and climbed into the passenger seat.
Yuri started driving, not saying a word, only smiling softly.
They sailed through the dazzling evening lights and merged onto the highway.
“Something happened, didn’t it?” Yuri asked Ringo. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Once the cityscape, which somehow looked different than usual, started rolling by, Ringo’s high-strung emotions finally began to calm. Yuri’s uninquisitive manner was soothing, and Ringo finally opened up.
“Apparently, looking at me and talking to me hurts Shoma-kun. I’ve never seen that look on his face before.” She tried to elaborate, but only fragments of words came to mind, and she covered her face in shame as the tears began to flow once again. “He said we could never see each other again; that it was better if we didn’t. If that’s what fate has in store for us, then there’s nothing I can do about it, is there?”
“You poor thing,” Yuri said. “You really are in love. But just so you know, by and large, first loves rarely come to fruition. I had someone like that once, too.”
“You did?” asked Ringo. She was taken aback. Even Yuri, who was kind and beautiful and had taken Tabuki under her wing, once had a love that was never to be. Ringo straightened her back and looked at Yuri’s face.
“Just so you know, it wasn’t Tabuki,” Yuri said, smiling playfully.
“What happened to them?”
“They vanished. One day, they were suddenly gone from me. Both in shape and form. Honest to God.”
“In shape and form?” Ringo tilted her head slightly.
“So what I’m saying is, I understand exactly what you’re going through. At times like this, the best thing you can do is to totally fabulous max it up with your girls!” Yuri floored the accelerator, and the car zoomed.
Ringo was slightly relieved to be with someone who did not know her all that well. On top of that, she had no real intention of finding out just what kind of person Yuri truly was, which somehow gave her a great sense of comfort.
Kanba sat in a deserted subway car, legs crossed, Penguin No. 1 at his side. The black-suited men stood in front of him, surrounding him.
Without any hint of agitation, Kanba took the envelope from one of the men. “Perfect. This should be enough for Himari’s medicine.” No. 1 gave a stoic nod as well. Kanba slipped the envelope inside his jacket pocket. “Now then, about the next job…”
Just then, the doors connecting to the next car clattered open. Kanba turned to see Masako, makeshift gun in hand, and Esmeralda, glaring directly at him.
“Goodness! We’ll have to crush them soooon!” Masako somersaulted into the car, popping back up and shooting each one of the black-suited men, who had been too stunned to move.
“Masako!” By the time Kanba could react, most of the men in black were already on the floor.
Masako faced off with Kanba, who was still sitting, not moving a muscle. Her hair was immaculate, not a single strand coming loose from her curls. She wore a navy-blue blouse with a bowtie at the neck, and a knee-length skirt with an intricate black print. Black tights adorned her legs, and on her feet were high-heeled ankle boots in a lively blue hue.
She leveled the gun at his forehead. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing? I told you, didn’t I? You stand at the edge of that frozen shelf as we speak. If you take another step, you’ll fall into the icy sea!”
“That’s none of your business.” Kanba lifted his head slightly, looking coldly back at her.
Masako frowned. “If you need money, I’ll pay it. That should work, shouldn’t it?”
“You’re gonna break into the Natsume family funds?” Kanba managed to say.
“Yes. I’ll crush them until there’s nothing left, just before you fall into the sea and become food for the orcas. All right?”
Without warning, she shot at Kanba. The bullet rushed just past his ear, shattering a window. He leapt from the seat and grabbed the barrel of Masako’s gun. “You’re just gonna shoot me?!” he demanded.
“What exactly is so appealing about that little girl?” asked Masako, her voice trembling slightly.
“What’re you talkin’ about?”
“Please just be straight with me. I came here to find you. I know everything about you.”
Kanba glared back at her, saying nothing.
“If you don’t know, then shall I say it for you? You’re in love with that young woman. And there’s nothing you can do about it, no matter how much you fight it!”
Kanba felt a twinge of pain in his heart as she said this. However, he did not let it show as he turned the muzzle of the gun away from him. “Just who the hell are you talking about? All I want to do is protect my family.”
“Which means that I’ll never be good enough for you, will I?” said Masako, voice wavering faintly. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she pulled another gun from behind her back, aiming it once again at Kanba.
“Enough already.”
Masako bit her lip hard, gripping both of the guns. “You wound me! But that’s fine. I’m going to seize my happiness my own way. I’m going to save Mario-san, no matter what!”
She turned her back on Kanba as he stood there in shock, and disembarked the train.
Kanba breathed in deep, surveying the countless bullets and men in black rolling along the floor of the train.
Masako would come for him. What she said was probably true. He probably had truly let a good thing get away. But either way, that had nothing to do with what Kanba needed to do, and what he would do.
The onsen district was far chillier than the city proper, so Ringo borrowed Yuri’s stole to wrap around her neck. Yuri pulled straight up to a ryokan, a traditionally styled building surrounded by the quiet sounds of the sea, and was greeted by a personable middle-aged woman.
“Welcome, Tokikago-sama. Thank you for your continued patronage. You must be tired.”
Ringo sat across from Yuri on an old-fashioned sofa in the lounge, sipping the warm tea that the matron had brought them. Yuri’s silk stole felt nice on her skin, and carried the sweet smell of her cosmetics and perfume.
“Ah, that was such a refreshing drive, wasn’t it, Ringo-chan?”
Ringo nodded, rubbing her eyes that were now fully dried of tears, but probably still red.
The matron brought over a register, upon which Yuri wrote a swift “Tokikago Yuri & Ringo.” Ringo thought it odd, and looked up at her curiously.
“My, traveling with your sister? How lovely.” The matron grinned. “Now then, please wait just a moment and I will show you to your room.”
“Thank you,” Yuri replied with a smile as the matron walked away. She leaned in close to Ringo and whispered, “I always sneak away to stay at this place. So for today, I’m your big sister. Are you okay with that?”
“Sure. That’s okay,” Ringo nodded, bashfully hiding her mouth behind the stole.
“Perfect. I’m so happy to be here with my cute little sister. Now, why don’t you give your mother a call, and then we’ll take a dip in the onsen, have something tasty to eat, and rest these old bones!” Yuri stretched out, thoroughly excited.
The low-ceilinged, vermilion-carpeted hallway was decorated with several small, framed sumi ink drawings of sea creatures. There was a warm orange light from the lanterns, which were intricately woven out of bamboo and washi. Bit by bit, Ringo’s heart grew calmer.
The pair changed into yukata as they breathed in the scent of the tatami in their cozy little room, and then gazed out at the lights of the traditional-style garden.
Ringo found the curious nighttime atmosphere somewhat intoxicating. She smiled back at Yuri, overtaken by the peculiar feeling that everything that had happened during the day was miles away. Even though the reality was that Shoma hated Ringo now, it still gave her heart the deepest sense of relief to be able to escape that truth, if only for now.
For a little while, she could keep from sinking into her own thoughts and hurting herself even further.
The outdoor bath seemed to have been reserved for them. They slowly dipped their feet into the wide stone basin beneath the hazy lantern light, sighing with relaxation as they sunk into the hot water. Their breath condensed into white clouds, and the sky was far darker than that in Tokyo, allowing them to clearly see the stars scattered across the sky.
Ringo focused her senses on the distinct smell of the onsen, and the warmth of the water surrounding her.
Not once since Momoka’s death and Ringo’s birth had the Oginomes gone on a trip as a family. They made trips to the aquarium and the amusement park, and little excursions in the evenings, but as far as Ringo could remember, they had never done anything like visit an onsen ryokan. Ringo never realized or acknowledged that fact before.
“This feels wonderful,” she said, evading her own thoughts as she gazed out onto the distant rolling waves.
“I’m glad. There’s nothing better than letting the water wash all the pain and sadness away.” In fact, that was why Yuri had come here herself. No matter what loneliness she fell into amongst her troupe, no matter what inexplicable intercourse she had, the water was always her truest friend, washing all those memories clean away.
The two of them still wore their towels as they soaked in the bath. Ringo thought it strange, but truth be told, she was a little embarrassed to be naked in front of Yuri. She thought perhaps Yuri did this out of consideration for her.
“It seems strange to be doing this with you, Ringo-chan. Honestly, I rather thought you hated me,” Yuri said.
“No, I, um…” Ringo trailed off. She was a little bit pleased to know that Yuri had put the past aside and thought of this moment only as “strange.”
“I’m kidding,” Yuri said softly. “You don’t have any reason to hate me, now.”
“I’m sorry.” Ringo’s heart sank as she realized that Yuri could see right through her. It was true that by now, Ringo no longer held any particularly contemptuous feelings toward Yuri. They scattered away into the wind, along with her relationship with Shoma.
“It’s fine. That just means now we can actually have some fun together.”
Yuri looked exceptionally beautiful with her hair casually arranged, her pale neck and collarbones shining in the light. If Ringo was as beautiful as Yuri, then perhaps Shoma wouldn’t have left her. Ringo and Yuri were leagues apart when it came to the swell of their breasts beneath their towels as well.
Yuri noticed Ringo glancing at her chest. “Does it bother you?” she asked.
“J-just a little.” Ringo lowered her face, her cheeks reddening.
“I think you’re wonderful just as you are, Ringo-chan.” Yuri smiled softly, wholeheartedly.
“I guess. I know that I’m cute, and pretty, and I…” She clamped her mouth shut. The tears she was holding back were about to flow again. If only she were wiser and more beautiful, perhaps Tabuki would have had eyes for her. Maybe Shoma wouldn’t have made such a terrifying face at her. Maybe he would have actually needed her.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal. Boys are…” Unnecessary, Yuri started to say, but stopped herself. “Let’s just say they’re best swept out with the trash. Plus, I’m sure that someday soon, Shoma-kun is going to realize just how wonderful you are.” Though perhaps it’s already too late for that, Yuri thought to herself.
“I wonder if it would have been like this if my sister was still alive,” Ringo said quietly. “If we’d have gone out together like this, and talked, and had fights.”
Yuri clutched at her chest as Ringo spoke. Once again, both she and Ringo were running along the rails of fate, chasing Momoka’s shadow. They were the same in every way.
“Um, could I ask you one thing?” Ringo asked her.
“Sure.”
“How did you meet Tabuki-san? I mean, you’re a big star, Yuri-san. You two live in entirely different worlds.” She looked at Yuri with the unreserved eyes of a child.
“Well, that’s an interesting story. We’re childhood friends. We were classmates in elementary school.”
“Huh? Then…did you know my sister Momoka?” Ringo’s eyes went wide.
“Yes, I did. Very well.”
“What kind of girl was she?”
There was something a little frightening about asking questions about Momoka. Tabuki called her a special girl, and surely Yuri would as well. If Ringo were to hear those words, it would only make it more hurtful to live. Still, she wanted to know. Just what was so special about her sister? What was the difference between Momoka and her?
Yuri slipped out of the water, and sat upon the ledge, looking up at the sky, and breathed deeply. Seeing her curved back made the outline of her beautiful body beneath her towel all the clearer.
“Well… She was like the first cozy little stream or field of flowers you might find on the other side of a parched desert. The babbling of that brook, or the chirping of a little bird. The hot, orange flame of a candle, stumbled across on a cold, dark snowy night.” Yuri spoke as if reciting the lines of a play. “Momoka changed how I looked at the world. When I was with her, everything around me seemed to sparkle with a new light. She felt that the world was overflowing with happiness and things worth loving. And that included even me.”
“Tabuki-san said the same thing. I guess she really was something special. The complete opposite of me. Why is that?”
“Hey now, that isn’t true.” Yuri frowned and slipped back into the water, bringing her cheek to the nape of Ringo’s neck. “Sisters are a curious thing. Did you know you have the same scent as she did?”
The same scent? Taken literally, Yuri was probably referring to Ringo’s body odor, but something in the way she said it suggested something more. Ringo tilted her head, listening to the sound of the waves and stroking her arm beneath the water as she wondered exactly where it was that she differed from Momoka.
She gazed upon Yuri’s face, which was exceedingly picturesque.
Ringo was stunned to learn that ryokan had ping-pong tables. After they sipped some cold juice to cool down from the bath, the pair went to have a look at the rec room, and they picked up a pair of paddles and began to play.
Ringo watched Yuri, who seemed relaxed in her yukata as they hit a bouncy plastic ball back and forth. If Momoka was still alive, she might have had this kind of future. Maybe they would have visited this onsen together, all three of them as a set: Yuri, Momoka, and Ringo.
If her sister was still alive, then maybe things would not have gone so terribly with Shoma. Of course, without her sister’s death, she might not have met Shoma in the first place. Fate did possess such cruel irony.
“You know, I used to want to be Momoka.” Ringo said as she hit the ping-pong ball with a light snap.
“Why?” Again came the snapping sound.
“Because Tabuki-san loved Momoka.”
“My, should you really be telling that to his wife?” Yuri gave a playful, wicked smile.
“Ah, I’m sorry.” Still, she did not fail to strike the ball back.
“It’s fine. I’ll forgive you this time,” Yuri replied, not sounding at all angry.
Ringo was fully aware that she was about to ask yet another strange question, but she asked it anyway. “Um…why exactly did the two of you get married?”
“Because we love each other,” Yuri softly replied.
“Well, of course.” It was a stupid thing to ask, Ringo thought. What other response could there possibly have been?
“That’s a lie,” Yuri admitted. “Really, we’re just a sham couple.” Another light snap of the ball echoed with her joking words.
“Huh?”
“Just kidding. Truthfully, though…” Suddenly, she struck back with a little more force. “The two of us are bound by a ring of fate. That’s why we’re together.”
“Fate?” The ball shot past Ringo, bounced upon the rec room floor, and rolled away.
“You must be hungry. I suppose we should get going.” Yuri lightly dabbed her forehead with the towel draped around her neck.
After dinner, the pair sat facing each other behind their plates, which had been picked clean of sashimi and grilled dishes. Yuri sipped a white wine, Ringo some soda water. Already the pair felt as though they had fully opened up to one another. During the meal, Yuri could not eat her squid sashimi, and forcefully offered it to Ringo, which Ringo found rather adorable.
Somewhere deep down, Ringo had begun to think that Yuri was some sort of flawless person who was not fussy in the least. Even when she had been saying how blackhearted Yuri was, somewhere deep down, she felt that she was no match for her. But when Ringo calmed herself down, she recognized that there was no such thing as a perfect person. Then she realized that was probably a hint as to why she had chosen Tabuki.
“There are a lot of other ways in which you resemble Momoka,” Yuri said softly, looking at Ringo.
“Really? Like what?” Ringo leaned in.
“See? Whenever Momoka was interested in something, she would tilt her head just a little bit and stare really hard with stars in her eyes, just like that.”
“Huh. Really?” Ringo grew a little embarrassed and reflexively fixed her posture, combing her bangs with her fingertips.
“There, that too! Whenever she was feeling shy, she always fiddled with her bangs,” Yuri cackled.
“I’m sort of glad to hear this. Papa and Mama never talked to me much about Momoka.”
“I see.” Yuri gazed intently at the way Ringo’s throat moved as she gulped down her soda water. She took in the shape of her lips and her chin. Even Ringo’s voice and the way she spoke invoked familiar feelings within her. She was most certainly Momoka’s little sister.
The soda water, with its strong carbonation and hint of sweetness, gurgled down Ringo’s throat and bubbled in her stomach.
“So, do you still want to be Momoka?” Yuri’s wide eyes stared deeply into Ringo.
She struggled to answer. What would she do if someone were to say to her right now that she could still become Momoka? She tried to think of an answer, but her thoughts suddenly became hazy.
“Wha…what…?” She dropped the glass to the floor.
Yuri approached slowly, sitting next to Ringo, gently resting her hand atop hers. “My. Even here, you are two peas in a pod. The shape of your fingers, that slight angle of your nails… Look, even those pale little half-moons. How wonderfully fabulous.” Her pale fingertips pinched the tips of Ringo’s nails, and she stroked her fingers.
Ringo’s vision blurred, but she could still make out Yuri watching her with a sad look upon her face. Her head was filled with the fizzing of the carbonated water, and everything fell away, the wheels in her brain unable to turn.
“Forgive me, Ringo-chan. I need you to become your sister.”
“Yuri-san…?” she mumbled, now swaying so terribly she could hardly sit up. Yuri-san, she wanted to say, everything’s going fuzzy.
“You know something? No one has ever known the real me and still called me beautiful. In a world where only beautiful things can thrive, only beautiful things are true, no one could ever love me. You get that, right?” Yuri gently stroked Ringo’s cheek. “But Momoka was the only one in this world who knew everything about me, and she still said I was beautiful. She saw me as I truly was. That’s how I’ve been able to keep existing. Momoka was my destiny.”
Momoka was Yuri’s destiny? Ringo could barely even comprehend those words. Her body felt strangely feverish, and there was a dazed, sleepy feeling deep in her skull as her breath grew ragged.
“I want to see her. I want to see her again so badly. I won’t believe it! Momoka can’t possibly be dead!” Yuri said, taking out the other half of the torn diary. “The time has finally come. It’s all happening, just as it’s written here in Momoka’s diary.”
Ringo recalled that night in the rain when the diary was taken away from her. A big, black motorcycle. The rider, who had ripped away half of Ringo’s diary of fate. The rain was so cold, and she was so sad.
Why did Yuri have the other half of the diary?
“Ringo-chan, I want you to become Momoka, but I know you would hate me if you saw the real me. That’s why I had to drug you and make it so you can’t get away from me. So that you can’t live without me.” Yuri slowly stroked the nearly-unconscious Ringo’s chest where it was bared beneath her yukata, and pushed her down on the spot.
“You really do resemble her. I love you, Momoka.”
Yuri gazed at her through moist eyes, straddling her delicate body and staring into her face. Her now-closing eyes, her silhouette, her stick-straight hair. And then there was her scent.
“Momoka.”
Yuri’s glossy lips pressed down on Ringo’s. As Ringo’s scent, the same as Momoka’s, flowed into Yuri, she closed her eyes and wept. Teardrops dripped onto Ringo’s cheeks.
The rustling of Yuri undoing the belt of Ringo’s yukata sounded softly in the dark room.