Chapter 08

Chapter 08

 

KANBA AND I were getting ready to visit Himari in the hospital. I took stock of our inventory, making sure all the ingredients for her surprise were there: dried nori, katsuobushi, sauce and mayonnaise, red ginger. Minced scallions and tenkasu, cuts of boiled octopus, and cheese. Flour, a bottle full of dashi, and two eggs. Vegetable oil. A bowl and a whisk, a basting brush, and several bamboo skewers. Finally and most importantly, a family-sized takoyaki grill. It was all quite a lot to carry, but I wanted Himari to be able to relax from time to time and eat something warm that wasn’t hospital food or a prepacked bento.

I loaded my tools and ingredients into a large nylon shopping bag, and boarded the train with my brother.

“To think Yuri-san has half of the diary,” I said.

“In that case, Masako definitely has the other half. She was probably the so-called mouse who came to take it, too,” Kanba said, eerily calm.

“Probably.”

“But what’s Tokikago Yuri’s aim?”

“About that. She said she wanted to change fate, and that she needed the diary for that.” But why would she want to alter fate? What did she mean by “changing” it? I wasn’t sure, nor did I even believe her. But Yuri-san was deadly serious, so much so that I could not imagine she was lying.

“Yo, do you seriously believe that?” Kanba laughed at me in disbelief as I was deep in thought.

“No way! But…if assembling the diary means you can alter fate, then maybe there’s some way to change Himari’s fate to a healthy future.” I had no idea if it had anything to do with the Penguindrum, but if the diary really did have the power to change one’s fate, then we absolutely needed to track it down.

“Don’t be stupid. Himari has that medicine.” Not smiling at all, Kanba set his elbow on No. 2, resting his chin on his right hand.

“But isn’t it expensive?” I asked.

Kanba was always telling me not to worry, never telling me the details of Himari’s hospitalization or treatment costs. He settled the invoices as soon as we received them, never allowing me to look at the numbers. Even when Uncle Ikebe happened to ask about it, he was told that discussion was off-limits. Kanba sometimes suddenly went out at night, maybe for some kind of part-time job, although I had no clue what sort of job it might be.

It was probably dirty money. He must have realized I would assume that.

“Let me handle it. Just like I always have. You just need to smile. Especially in front of Himari. Got it?” he said in a clipped tone.

“Yeah.” Of course I wanted to smile in front of Himari. But our financial situation was already dire, and would only grow worse.

Often, Kanba brought a large sum of money home with him. I wanted to ask him where it came from, but I knew that however hard I pressed him, he was unlikely to tell me. The reality was, without money, we were in trouble. We would never be able to live the way we did without Kanba’s contributions.

I refused to follow after him, though, or look through his cell phone. I wanted to ask him how he was getting the money, but if it turned out he was doing something dangerous, then I’d want him to stop. Then again, it might make things worse if the truth were something awful, and then the three of us wouldn’t be able to live together.

Once again, I was effectively pushing the whole burden onto Kanba. If he ever asked me to help him, of course I would give it my all, but truthfully, I was pushing all of the things we should be shouldering together onto my brother’s back.

“Don’t start up again with the mopey face right after you just said that.”

I quickly lifted my head and gave him a stupid grin. I needed to show a better smile than that in front of Himari.

 

Dr. Sanetoshi’s examination room, as well as the room Himari was staying in, had a rather strange atmosphere compared to a typical hospital interior. Neither my brother nor I had grown accustomed to this oddly old-fashioned, fairytale-esque interior design. It was an odd contrast with the state-of-the-art medicine and machines around us. Still, Himari’s every need was being catered to, and those two young helpers of Dr. Sanetoshi’s were strange in appearance and manner, but they were diligent and kind.

Kanba and I were scheming to cook the takoyaki in Himari’s room, so the helpers wouldn’t notice.

“Wonder if the smell’s gonna give us away.” Kanba whipped up the preprepared ingredients with uncharacteristic efficiency, already starting to grill the takoyaki. He watched me out of the corner of his eye as I timidly surveyed the hallway outside the room.

The grill and ingredients were spread out on the floor, with the window open for the smell and smoke to escape. If we were discovered, there would be no explaining our way out of this.

“That smells really good!” Himari said, impressed. I was glad to see her smile. The penguins were also looking at the heated takoyaki grill, drooling in anticipation.

“Shoma made a lot of dashi. We’re gonna make some octopus ones and some cheese ones too.” Kanba popped the takoyaki onto the grill.

“Whoa, they’re already cooking.” Himari’s eyes lit up.

“Now watch this.” Kanba struck a stupid pose, rolled up his sleeves, and prepared a skewer, then quickly turned the takoyaki over, rounding them.

“Whoa, you’re so good at turning them, Kan-chan!” Himari clapped her hands, Penguin No. 3 following suit.

“I mean, yeah. I’m the best here when it comes to this and okonomiyaki, anyway,” said Kanba, puffing out his chest and looking at me. “Shoma, tell me immediately if anyone shows up. If we get caught, we’re never gonna hear the end of it.”

“What’re you bragging about? I’m way better at flipping them.” The air in Himari’s room and in the hallway felt like two completely different buildings. Right now there wasn’t a soul in sight, but I still didn’t feel like the smell or the smoke would be something we could hide.

“Here you go, Himari. Careful, it’s hot.” Kanba looked like the lively owner of a roadside stall as he handily skewered a takoyaki and set it on a plate.

Himari happily accepted the takoyaki, well-garnished with sauce and nori and katsuobushi, giving hearty thanks for the food before gobbling it down. Her eyes lit up with delight. “It’s hot, but it’s really good! Eating takoyaki with your family is the best.” She separated some out on the plate to feed to the penguins. The three of them were all lined up, their mouths open in waiting. They looked like fat, round baby birds.

“We figured you must be getting sick of hospital food. Eat up,” said Kanba with a satisfied grin.

“Hey, leave some for me, too,” I called from my station in the doorway, just in case.

“Yeah, these are good.” He pretended not to hear me.

“Hey, Aniki!”

“I’ve got it, Sho-chan. You like lots of nori, right? It’s hot, so be careful.” Himari swiftly handed a plate over to me. I returned her guileless smile with a reflexively goofy grin.

“Thanks, Himari.” Our little sister truly was the sweetest person in the world. I took the plate and closed the door. It didn’t seem as though anyone was onto us.

“He should be fine with just the leftover bits, Himari,” Kanba joked.

“So you’re good with just sipping the last bit of juice from the ginger, right, Aniki?!” I theatrically stuck out my tongue at Kanba as he glared at me.

A bit of air spurted from Himari’s mouth before she broke out laughing. “Goodness, you two shouldn’t be fighting over things like that. You’re such children.”

I glanced at Kanba, who looked back at me. Himari seemed to be having fun. She was laughing heartily, and eating takoyaki. What we were truly after was nothing special. And yet, this sort of “normal” was something truly “special” to us.

“I’m glad. You just keep getting better, Himari,” I said quietly, sitting on the floor.

“Yeah, I’ve been feeling a lot better lately! Wonder if it’s because of that medicine,” she said with a smile, kneading No. 3’s cheeks. “Dr. Sanetoshi said that I might even be able to leave the hospital soon!”

“Really?!” I shouted, my face full of takoyaki.

“Yeah. Dr. Sanetoshi said so; I’m sure everything’s gonna be fine.”

That’s great, I started to say, when I looked at Kanba. He was flipping takoyaki, the corners of his mouth downturned. I decided not to pry in front of Himari. “Well then, maybe next time we’ll have sukiyaki to celebrate your release!”

“Whoa, really? Yay!” Himari cheered, not seeming to notice how Kanba was acting.

“You’re gonna have to build up your nutrition anyway, right?!”

“Oh, that reminds me. There was something I wanted to ask you two.” She set down her plate and went over to the paper bag on the bedside table, pulling out a half-knitted project. “Ta-da!” she said, spreading it out.

“Oh, what’re you making this time?”

“A sweater!”

“Sounds pretty challenging.” Himari’s handicrafts were largely cute little accessories and embroidery or appliqué. Soon she would probably even be good enough to make things that she could wear herself.

It was clear to me now that Himari was going to live.

“So, um, what do you think about this color?” she asked a bit nervously, holding the unfinished sweater up to her chest. It was a surprisingly subdued choice of color for Himari, made of purple yarn with gray in it.

“That looks nice. I think it’s a bit plain for you though, Himari,” I replied.

“It’s not for me, actually.” Her gaze wavered ever so slightly, her cheeks reddening. “Um, it’s for an adult. A thank-you gift.”

“Huh? An adult?” That was unexpected. Still, whoever it was for, she said it was a thank-you present, so there couldn’t be any ulterior motive to it. Besides, Himari’s world was largely limited to our family home and the hospital. Oginome-san and Himari probably wouldn’t be seeing very much of each other from now on. I’m not really good at thinking about complicated things, but it seemed important for Himari to have human connections and broader horizons.

“What do you think, Kan-chan?”

“It’s fine, I guess. Not my taste, but I’m sure that guy’ll love it.” I was surprised at the relatively cold tone in which he said “that guy.” Did he know who it was? Himari looked a bit shocked as well.

“Say, Himari, who is that sweater for?” I asked as cheerfully as possible. “Anyone we know?”

“Hee hee, it’s a secret,” she laughed softly, a little embarrassed.

“Yeah, right,” I said, a teasing grin spreading across my face.

“It’s a secret! A secret!” Himari collapsed onto the bed, cradling the sweater to her chest, and then slid it back into the paper bag.

“She does seem better,” I said to my brother, quietly.

“Yeah.”

“The three of us will be able to live together again soon.” I let out a deep sigh. “Maybe now we can finally get back to normal. We won’t have to take orders from that weird hat, or go running around after that pointless diary anymore.”

“No, it remains necessary!”

I knew the voice that came piercing through. I knew it well. After all, it was the voice that was issuing us commands up until recently. We both looked up to the bed to see Himari, the penguin hat atop her head, eyes glinting red.

“Survival Tactiiiiiic!”

Before we could even shout in surprise, we were assailed by the formerly tattered and shorn waves of frills and lace. There was a sweet scent, and a white shining warm sensation. The sparkling world stretched endlessly in every direction.

Himari, in her penguin hat, was back to her usual impeccable form, blowing the white frills away with her lips, billowing the lace with a single fingertip as she appeared. The whole world shook in time with the clacking of her boots.

She walked right up to us as we sat there, stunned, and sneered. “Surely, you worthless nothings have been told!”

Kanba and I looked at each other. It was clear that neither of us had any idea what was going on.

“Again with that?” Kanba grumbled, still cross-legged on the ground.

“We don’t need you anymore!” I yelled. Even without the penguin hat, we already had that new medicine from Dr. Sanetoshi. With that, Himari would be saved. Kanba said not to worry about the money, and I believed him, so there was no need for us to change fate. The Penguindrum and the diary weren’t our problems anymore.

“Have you peons forgotten your duties?! You mustn’t tarry a moment longer. You must obtain the Penguindrum!” The queen of the hat stomped her foot, looking annoyed. The floor shook so hard that Kanba and I bounced a little.

“So what the heck was with that dramatic exit before?” I looked out again at the alternate dimension, which was back to its beautiful original state. The queen of the hat was once more in her glossy black penguin dress, long hem trailing. It was a far cry from the last time’s flood of dull colors and decay. “Himari is all better now, so she’s fine, right?”

“Also, is that diary really the Penguindrum?” asked Kanba, seeking confirmation.

A strange look flickered across Lady Penguin Hat’s face, and paused before answering, “That’s a secret.”

“You show up after all this time just to not actually tell us anything?” Both Kanba and I were so over this. Furthermore, although Himari said those same words just moments ago, there was nothing cute about them now.

“Well, I will tell you one important thing: If you let the Penguindrum get away from you now, everyone in your family will be punished severely for it.”

I instinctively sat up straight at the word punished. This was no time for my thoughts to meander. I had no idea what was going to happen, so I couldn’t relax just yet. Punishment was a senseless thing. No matter when it came, it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if it happened. I had nearly forgotten our family’s curse.

“What are you talking about?” asked Kanba as he stood up.

“The most important thing to you will fall into ruin.”

“Most important? What does that mean?” When Himari had first collapsed, I was sure that she was being taken away from us. That would have been our severe punishment. But we circumvented that tragedy, so what was the most important thing to us now?

“The most important thing…” Kanba folded his arms, thinking. This was too abstract for us.

The lady of the hat huffed through her nose, glaring at each of us in turn.

“What is with you?!” I yelled at her. “We just enjoyed some fresh takoyaki as a family, and yet you expect us to just sit back and listen to this all of a sudden and say ‘Oh yeah, sure,’ and—” I realized something as soon as I spoke those words. There was a certain pattern to these kinds of scenes. “Wait, wait! I’m not finished talking!”

As usual, that was when the floor popped open beneath my feet, and my body was flung into darkness. An anxious feeling overtook me as I tumbled into the dark. Of course there was no way everything would go back to normal so easily. Maybe the luxury of hope—the hope that we could live a quiet life with our family of three—was something we were truly unworthy of.

Our punishment was not yet over.

“Shall we initiate the Survival Tactic?!” I heard the low, powerful voice from above me.

Maybe punishment was something that follows you around for your whole life. Maybe we would never know peace again. If that was the case, then why did we have to run around like this, crying and shouting? I was already so tired of knowing that every little thing about our lives was preordained by that tiny little word: fate.

 

“Am I really not enough?” Kanba asked the queen, his head hung. “Is there nothing else I can do to help Himari?”

The lady of the hat walked up to him. “You can do this. We know it.” Himari narrowed her red eyes, stroking Kanba’s short, messy hair. “We know it, because the Penguindrum is your—”

“I can’t do it!” he shouted sorrowfully.

Himari held his head to her chest. She gently stroked his hair, murmuring so quietly it was almost silent. “You can do it.”

The sweet scent filling the world grew so powerful it was suffocating, and the waves of soft frills enveloped him. He felt Himari’s thin fingers upon his eyelids as he closed them against the force of it.

“Don’t be discouraged.”

 

Tabuki Keiju and Tokikago Yuri’s residence had not particularly increased in its number of furnishings after they were wed. Yuri arranged most of the new furniture and appliances on her own, and all the things from their single lives were brought here more or less wholesale. Yuri’s mountains of clothing and jewelry and cosmetics were neatly organized in her personal walk-in closet and on her dresser. Tabuki’s books about birds and birdwatching equipment were neatly packed away in a little drawer. The only thing that could be considered a change was the way Tabuki dressed.

Yuri was aghast at his lack of fashion sense, and would buy him shirts or shoes from time to time without consulting him.

“Put some of these on. They should be the right size, but if you don’t like something you can throw it away.”

Tabuki’s eyes went wide at this, face blank. “No way; that’s a waste. If I can wear them, I’ll wear them all,” he said, taking the large branded paper bag. Then, when Yuri threw away some excess clothing from his closet, she felt a bit better.

Yuri now gazed at the diary half she held in one hand, holding a long, thin champagne flute with an intricately crafted stem in the other. She leaned back into one edge of their large sofa, Tabuki sitting quietly on the other. “Takakura Shoma asked me to lend him the diary. He was saying some weird things about his little sister’s life, and penguins.”

“I see.” He slumped slightly, the same type of champagne glass in hand.

Yuri now and then indulged in a little alcohol, but Tabuki couldn’t see what was so good about it. Once he tried to lose himself to drink, hoping to bury away the fact that Momoka was gone, but all it did was leave him feeling empty. He hadn’t drunk much since then, just occasionally when he and Yuri were having “couple time” like this.

“Naturally, I refused. We have different goals. Plus, it doesn’t seem like those children even know the true value of the diary.” Yuri drained her glass in one big gulp.

“You and I are the only ones in this world who know that,” said Tabuki.

“That’s true.” Yuri often wondered just what Momoka found so appealing about such a boring man. Her eyes fell on the lit-up Tokyo Tower outside the clear windows. Winter was here again. Another winter without Momoka. “You know, I really can’t bring myself to forgive the Takakura family.”

“Are you still going on about that?” asked Tabuki, though his tone was soft. “It happened a long time ago. Plus, it’s not like those kids had anything to do with it directly.”

What had Tabuki hoped to achieve in becoming a teacher? The plain appearance and lifestyle suited him, but did he really think Yuri would still accept his banal moral ramblings after all this time?

Yuri placed the diary on the table, and poured more champagne into her own glass. “Ringo-chan is in love with Takakura Shoma,” she said.

“I know.”

“You’re fine with that?”

“Ringo-chan is Ringo-chan. She isn’t Momoka.”

She laughed mirthlessly. “I know that well enough.”

“The perpetrators and their family are different people. I don’t harbor any hard feelings toward them anymore.”

“So you forgive them? The Takakura family stole countless innocent lives. I’m sure Momoka was trying to stop…” She trailed off. Momoka probably took some action to try and halt the accident. Either by changing fate, or by some other special means that Yuri wasn’t aware of.

“Mourning her or hating them isn’t going to bring her back.”

Yuri felt her hackles rising at the lecturing tone of his voice. “You’re just soo upstanding. You’ve always been this way.”

“I haven’t forgotten about Momoka, you know. There’s no way I could ever forget her. Nor could you.”

Both back then, and now, Momoka was the glue that bonded them together. Back then, they each gripped one of her soft little hands, the three of them standing together. Had that accident not occurred, the three of them would probably still be together today.

For both Yuri and Tabuki, Momoka had been dearer to them than their own blood relatives, even kinder than God. Momoka was innocent, earnest, and full of love. She’d been the only person in the world who told them, time and again, that she truly loved them with all her heart.

“Those days when we were with Momoka were my only real childhood.”

“Mine, too.” Tabuki finally sipped his champagne, just enough to wet his lips.

In that case, how could he say that he didn’t feel anything? That he could forgive the members of the Takakura family? Yuri stared at the side of his face, far too quiet.

“Even if her life was snatched away senselessly, Momoka would never want us to take revenge,” Tabuki added.

Yuri glared angrily at him. “Momoka isn’t dead!”

Tabuki looked sadly at Yuri, who burned with vengeance. “Of course,” he murmured softly, placatingly.

Yuri herself might not even have thought it, but she was overflowing with life and vigor. That was why she was beautiful. It was obvious that she lived in a different world from Tabuki, who spent so many years trapped behind so many thin shells.

“I’m cold. We need some curtains in this room,” Yuri said abruptly. When the pair of them were silent, she became far too aware of the spaciousness of the room.

“Should I bring you something to wear?” Tabuki hadn’t noticed the chill at all. He wondered if it was because of the champagne, but he didn’t say anything about that.

Yuri did not reply. She only embraced herself, and took another sip of champagne.

 

I’m going out to do some shopping. I’ll be back soon. —Himari was all that the tiny paper scrap read.

“Well, that’s a problem,” Shirase said quietly and tilted his head, his red velvet ribbon pointing straight up.

“It’s time for her medicine,” Souya added, also tilting his head, his own red velvet ribbon at a lazy lop.

Himari’s bed was empty, the sheets made. Her nightgown and dressing gown were neatly folded atop the sheets.

“Seriously, what is she thinking? Just because she’s feeling a little bit better…” Kanba said bitterly, gazing at the memo.

Her medicine was administered every day, but I wondered if it was something that needed to be given at a precise time. I’d heard no report of it being that sort of illness, though. At the very least, not from Dr. Washizuka.

“This is bad,” Shirase said flatly, expression soft.

“She needs to have her nightly injection,” Souya continued.

“Um, when you say it’s bad, what’ll happen if she doesn’t get it?” I reflexively asked.

The boys’ red eyes flashed toward one another, and they fell silent. Shirase plucked flatly at one of his garters, which gave a snapping sound.

“Will it be okay if she’s back before nightfall?” I pressed. Their peculiar appearance and cold manner put both Kanba and me on edge.

“As long as she’s back,” said Shirase, conspiratorially.

“As long as she can come back,” Souya replied, likewise.

“What do we do? Where did you go, Himari?” We really should have left a cell phone with her in case of emergencies.

For now, I opened the closet, trying to determine what she wore out. Her flower-patterned dress with the puffy bright blue and beige skirt, and a ribbon of the same material that tied at the waist, were both missing from her wardrobe. Judging by the temperature, she probably went out with a knit cardigan as well. No doubt she was also wearing her favorite cowboy boots. However, this wasn’t much to go on. What could she possibly need to purchase that she would have to leave the hospital for?

“These kinds of unauthorized actions…”

“…are really quite the hindrance to Dr. Sanetoshi’s special treatment.”

The boys’ manner was so detached that I wondered if they wouldn’t just abandon her entirely.

“I’m sure Himari has a good reason for doing this.” She knew better than anyone how much we would worry over her when we eventually found her.

Kanba, who was pacing around the room, suddenly looked at me. “Yo, Shoma, let’s go.”

“Where?”

He pointed to the Yozawaya bag with her knitting supplies and several instructional books.

“Right, she’s been knitting.” She needed tools, or more likely, yarn. “We’ll go find her!” I said quickly in parting to Shirase and Souya, and then rushed out of the room behind my brother. If Himari was headed to her favorite craft supply store, then the two of us should be able to track her down before nightfall. It was terrifying to think of what might happen if we passed her by, but for now, we had to do what we could.

We searched for Himari.

 

When Ringo received a call from Himari, who was still hospitalized, at first she was delighted to be hearing from a friend. But then she thought of the current situation with Shoma, and lost the will to speak. Not only was this a matter of her connection to Shoma, but to the whole family as well. That was their fate, he’d said. She’d replied that she was going to change that fate, but thus far she had no real plans on that front.

All that Ringo had left, now that the diary was gone, were the special feelings she held for the Takakuras.

After school, she met up with Himari, who said she was given special leave from the hospital. Now the pair were headed to a craft store in Ikebukuro. She began to suspect that the reason Himari’s overprotective brothers were not in tow was because they were avoiding Ringo.

“How are you feeling, Himari-chan?”

“Pretty great lately! How’ve you been, Ringo-chan?” Sure enough, as Himari strolled merrily between the store shelves, her complexion was good and her steps lively.

“Shoma-kun didn’t tell you anything?” Ringo reflexively asked back as she was faced with Himari’s beaming smile.

“Hm? What about?” asked Himari, tilting her head.

Ringo heartily replied, “It’s nothing, never mind.”

He doesn’t even talk about me. As far as Shoma is considered, I might as well not exist. I’m sure if he knew I was meeting up with Himari like this, he would be cross, Ringo thought.

“Ringo-chan?”

“Hey, so is knitting hard? I wonder if I should give it a try, too,” Ringo said, hurriedly throwing on a smile. She already knew how unexpectedly perceptive Himari was about these things.

Even if Ringo were to knit something appropriate for midwinter, she got the feeling Shoma wouldn’t accept it. Still, she wanted to do something. Anything at all would be fine; all she wanted was a connection to Shoma.

“I mean, I learned to do it. I bet you could pick it up right away, too. Let’s knit together sometime! I’ll teach you. It’ll be fun! Oh, there’s the yarn.” Himari rushed happily to the yarn shelf.

On the shelf were balls of yarn in various colors and weights, organized by brand and variety. Himari grabbed the ones that caught her eye, carefully comparing their colors and prices.

“Himari-chan, let me know right away if you get tired.”

“I’m fine! Dr. Sanetoshi gave me permission to go out, after all. Plus you’re here too, so it’s fine, it’s fine!” Himari puffed out her chest. Then, she lifted a finger to her lips, signaling to Penguin No. 3 at her feet not to spill her secret. No. 3 picked up a nearby yarn ball, nodding.

“Well, that’s good then.” This still seemed a bit odd to Ringo, however. Even if Himari really was given permission to leave, there was no way her brothers would have let her go out alone. At the very least, Shoma would have stopped her if he knew that the friend she was going out to meet was Ringo.

She did believe Himari when she said that Shoma hadn’t told her anything. If she had, it would be even more strange for her to meet with Ringo in secret.

“I want to finish some sweaters for Sho-chan and Kan-chan before I leave the hospital,” Himari said softly.

“You’re knitting sweaters? That’s amazing.”

“Wanna know something? The other day, they secretly grilled some takoyaki in my room.”

“Whoa.” It was difficult for Ringo to clearly picture anyone cooking takoyaki in a hospital room, but she gave a little smile, thinking it was just the sort of thing the two brothers would do.

“Those two are always doing things for me. So, sometimes, I want to be able to do something for them. Please don’t tell them about the sweaters, okay, Ringo-chan?” Himari’s face was so serious, one could practically see the shadows upon it. Considering that her brothers were not to know about the sweaters, maybe Himari received her permission to go out in secret as well.

“Yeah, of course!” Finally, Ringo smiled, beginning to feel a bit at ease.

“So actually, I started knitting one already, but when I showed it to them, Kan-chan said he didn’t like the color. So I think I’ll start over,” Himari said, picking up a yarn ball of a beautiful teal hue. “I wonder if he’d like this color. He doesn’t like subdued colors.”

Ringo picked up the same yarn and looked hard at it. “Hmm. I think bolder colors are definitely better for Kanba-kun. And for Shoma-kun, a less distinct color, maybe.” The yarn that she pointed out for Shoma was a skein of something indistinguishable in color or pattern, a mess of many colors, sitting in the bargain bin.

“Ringo-chan, this isn’t some kind of horoscope,” Himari giggled in surprise.

“Ah, right.”

The two looked at each other and laughed.

It’s just for now, she apologized to Shoma in her heart. Please just let me have this time with Himari right now. You don’t even have to look my way. If you say that’s our fate, then I’ll accept it. But Ringo was free to feel these things. No one had the right to take those feelings away from her. “Also, I’d feel kind of bad for Sho-chan if he were the only one to get the bargain yarn.”

“What would you say is a subdued color?”

Ringo’s faith in herself was restored when she recalled that she was a “stalker.” Any good stalker would know something like this, she thought, her feelings of guilt abating ever so slightly.

Her phone began vibrating in her bag. “Ah, just a second, sorry.” Himari nodded and continued comparing yarns, not minding her. Ringo pulled her phone out of her bag and answered. “Hello?”

“Good afternoon.” It was Yuri’s voice.

“Yuri-san?”

She had not seen Yuri since their strange trip to the onsen. On the night when Ringo inadvertently imbibed alcohol and gotten drunk, leaving Shoma to look after her, she had a strange dream. It was hazy, but in the dream, she was lying on the tatami in that ryokan as someone ran their cool, supple hands over her body, removing her yukata. The creamy skin she’d seen when she looked up was Yuri’s.

“I had a lot of fun the other day. We should go to an onsen again sometime,” Yuri said. Ringo envisioned her smiling on the other end of the phone.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, this is kind of sudden, but are you free right now? I just really want to see you.”

“Ah, right now I’m actually with a friend.” Ringo glanced at Himari. She was crinkling her brow, picking up different colors of yarn and muttering, “A bolder color.”

“A friend?” Yuri asked quietly.

“Yeah, it’s Himari-chan, the one I told you a bit about recently. Takakura Shoma’s little—”

“My, how wonderful! In that case, why don’t I grab a meal with the two of you? I’ll give you a ring again later,” Yuri said, interrupting Ringo’s hesitant words, then immediately ended the call.

 

This was a perfect opportunity for Yuri. She could take stock of the Takakura girl up close, face to face. What kind of daughter was she? What kind of child? How much did she know about what her parents had done? Better yet, this could be a foothold for Yuri’s revenge. Or maybe she could just do it right then and there. As long as Yuri didn’t care how it looked for her, the possibilities were endless.

Her long nails were painted in a subtle beige ombre with gold lamé details. She’d forgone adding rhinestones so as not to outshine the ring that sat snugly around her finger. She slipped her phone into the handbag that hung lightly from her shoulder.

Tabuki spoke as though he understood her, but Yuri had no intention of facing her own feelings. The Takakura family had trod not just on Momoka, but Ringo as well. If that was fate, then it was equally fated that the Takakura children should receive their punishment from Yuri.

“A moment, please?” Yuri held up a hand, and the manager of the large home goods store came rushing over.

“Yes, Tokikago-sama?” The manager curved their back and rubbed their hands, peering up at Yuri in a ridiculously subservient posture. “What can I do for you?”

“I’d like your most fabulous curtains. Do you take requests for measurements and installation?”

“Absolutely! Thank you so much!” The manager bowed even deeper.

“I’ll just take home enough for the living room. I’ll have my husband hang them later, so please wrap them up.” Yuri shivered as she remembered that cold room.

“Very well, Tokikago-sama.”

She headed for the parking lot with the curtains and curtain rod in hand, already growing accustomed to referring to him as her “husband.”

She wore a silk blouse with large, bold geometric patterns in red and orange, and a gray and off-white tweed skirt. On her pinkish-beige pumps were thin belts, which doubled as accessories for her ankles. Though she drove to the store, it was already quite cold out, so she wore dark brown furs around her neck.

Although she had only gone out to pick out some curtains, Yuri was, as always, the center of attention. Such was the path she chose.

She headed to the underground parking garage and loaded the wrapped-up bundle of curtains into her coldly glinting Jaguar. Just then, she realized someone was calling her, and took her phone out from her bag. Yuri batted her long eyelashes when she saw “Dear Husband” displayed on the screen. She shoved the phone back into her bag, unanswered, and sighed deeply.

Suddenly, she heard the sharp tak tak tak of high heels on concrete, and looked up to see a familiar person emerging from the shadows. They were focused intently on Yuri with a powerful glare.

As Yuri braced herself for a confrontation, the other stopped and laughed faintly.

“Goodness. I’ll have to crush you soon.” Her voice rang out across the parking lot.

“My, what a coincidence. Are you out shopping, too?” Yuri stepped away from her car, not showing the slightest hint of surprise.

“I have to thank you for that lovely song. I did think the pitch was just a little bit off, though.” Masako moved her pointer finger in the air like a conductor’s baton, lightly humming Yuri’s song.

“You must have misheard. I always have perfect pitch.”

“You’re the only one who thinks that. I’m the one who’s in the right. I’ll have to punish any wicked vixens who go around deceiving others.” Masako’s curls were impeccable, and she wore an orange, collarless coat, fastened tight with black buttons. Her black tights and ankle boots were also of the same color.

“Ever the little princess, aren’t you? A pure little virgin who’s never once known a man, fooled by such a simple ruse. You can’t even tell the difference between a fake and the genuine article, you dummy.” Yuri’s glossy lips, painted with a coral red lipstick, twisted into a sneer.

“Goodness, such vulgarity from such a renowned performer,” said Masako. She was unfazed, her expression unchanged.

“Do you know why a virgin girl like you could never change the world?” Yuri swiftly pinned back her loosely arranged hair.

“Sounds interesting. Why don’t you tell me?”

“Because virgins like you are afraid of having the world spoil your youth and crushing you. That’s why you can only see half of the world,” Yuri declared, as though she had seen this firsthand. “You’re a pitiful child, wrapped up in your own vapid notions.”

She felt just the slightest bit of sentimentality pass through her as she looked at Masako. The girl was driven by her own objectives to the point of austerity, unmoved by almost anything else. She clung to the parts of her life that had been taken from her, somehow managing to keep herself connected to the world by her own dogged persistence.

If she could not get those parts of herself back soon, she might never know happiness again.

Masako grinned, her curls swaying. “Someone like you, who can no longer understand those notions, is simply past her sell-by date. You have no other way to make a living now besides selling yourself for cheap. The gravure tabloids are calling.”

“Was that supposed to be a comeback? As long as you don’t even believe in yourself, your life is going to keep being eaten away.”

“I’m saying that your life has already been eaten away.” Masako pulled her half of the diary out from a large coat pocket, and held it up. “You have the other half, don’t you? I need this, no matter what the cost, so I can save Mario’s life.”

“Of course I do. When you don’t have a safe, the next best bet is to keep something right on your person. Still, I’m not going to hand it over. I need the diary, no matter what, so I can bring Momoka back into this world.”

Not caring whether or not Yuri was finished speaking, Masako ducked to the side and fired a makeshift Gatling gun.

Yuri twisted her body, avoiding all the shots. She leaned against the hood of her car and glared at Masako.

“Let’s do this,” Masako growled.

“Don’t underestimate an actress!”

Behind Masako, Esmeralda struck a gong one time. That was the signal for the fight to commence.

Yuri’s phone rang out loudly from her bag, but there was no way for her to hear it in the heat of battle.

 

Having run around to every craft store in Shinjuku, I decided to give my brother a call.

“No good. Shinjuku was a wash. I can’t find her anywhere!” Of course, there was the possibility that I passed her by, or that maybe she hadn’t gone to a craft store in the first place.

“Don’t freak out. You keep going on around Kichijoji, and I’ll check out Yozawaya in Ikebukuro,” Kanba said, sounding pretty freaked out himself.

As I hung up the phone, I recalled the words of the penguin hat: The most important thing to you will fall into ruin. She must have been talking about Himari. Himari’s life would be snatched away, and the three of us would never be able to live together again. I was sure that Kanba thought the same thing.

I ran on, starting to grow irritated at the snippets of conversation and laughter I heard in the crowds, who seemed more laid-back and jovial than usual. I was freaking out. The fate that I so loathed was still watching us from somewhere, its eyes glinting, laying a trap to steal everything away from us.

If fate was real, and if it could be changed by either effort or magic, then I wanted to change everything in our lives. Himari would have never gotten sick, no one would be missing from our family, and we would greet each day with a perfect morning, wanting for nothing. We would have a past where nothing unsettling had ever happened.

I flew into a department store in Kichijoji, running to the floor where the Yozawaya was located. I took a good, hard look around the yarn shelves, hoping to see if Penguin No. 3, who disappeared along with Himari, would pop up at my feet somewhere.

“Um, excuse me,” I called to an apron-clad shop clerk. “I’m looking for a girl. Her hair is about this long, and she’s probably wearing a flower print dress and a cardigan. I think she went out to buy some yarn.”

Given only the vague information that Himari was buying yarn, and what I assumed to be the description of her clothing, the clerk tilted their head. I asked the other clerks at the registers, but got no new information. There are many girls in the world who have long hair and wear dresses, and who buy yarn. Himari was but one of them.

I left the Kichijoji Yozawaya, and once again called my brother. “She’s not here, either. I asked the staff, but they didn’t know anything.” I was out of breath, looking around the place frantically. There was no reason that she would bother to go somewhere further out when there were a limited number of stores where she normally shopped.

“No luck here, either. There’s apparently been heaps of girls buying yarn by themselves,” Kanba told me.

“Got it. I’ll look around here a little while longer.” As I hung up the phone, I looked to the reddening sky and sighed. “Himari, where are you?”

If she hadn’t gone to a craft store, then where? Had she gone to see someone who wasn’t us? We were her brothers. We were supposed to know more about Himari than anyone else did, but I knew nothing about where she could have gone.

 

Ringo wondered if sitting on the cafe’s open-air terrace would be bad for Himari’s health, considering how cold it was, but Himari said that she wanted to enjoy some fresh air, so Ringo respected her wishes. The two faced one another, holding café au laits with lots of whipped cream on top.

“Whoa, you get to meet Tokikago Yuri-san?” Himari stared at Ringo, her wide eyes sparkling. A few people sitting around them looked their way with interest.

“Yeah, she called me a little while ago and asked me if I wanted to go out to eat with her.” Ringo was a little suspicious of the fact that Yuri wanted to see her out of the blue, and that she sounded weirdly happy the moment she heard Himari’s name, but there was no real basis for this suspicion.

“That’s amazing! Can I come, too?” Himari leaned in, cheeks reddening.

“Yeah. Yuri-san seemed really happy about it. Maybe it’s because I told her you were such a big fan of hers.”

“Thank you, Ringo-chan!” Himari sat back down in her chair, stroking No. 3 by her feet and beaming.

“Still, is it okay for you to be away from the hospital this long?” The temperature was dropping, and the sky was already turning colors.

“It’s fine! I still have time.” Himari sipped her café au lait, swinging her boot-clad feet. “I just really wanted to go out with a friend like this.”

“I’m glad you found a color of yarn you liked too.” Ringo enjoyed being with Himari. The topics she could discuss with her friends at school were limited, and she felt stifled by her own position: both as a student of Oukagyoen Girls’ High School, and as a daughter of the Oginome family. When she was with Shoma or Himari or Yuri, it didn’t matter whether she read Sixteen or not, whether she knew about the popular models of the day, or whether she was some kind of selfish stalker.

She felt like she could be her true self.

“So what’s Yuri-san like?” Himari’s long eyelashes fluttered.

“What’s she like? Hmm…” At the beginning, she thought of Yuri as a “blackhearted orca woman,” but her impressions of her changed into something more complex, something she couldn’t easily name. Yuri was beautiful, stylish, kind, and a little strange.

“She’s a very wonderful woman.”

Himari and Ringo looked back in surprise at the voice that suddenly interrupted their conversation. “Tabuki-san!” they said in unison.

Tabuki stood there, grinning at them.

 

The building to which Tabuki led the girls looked like it was still under construction, and naturally had no tenants inside.

Ringo believed Tabuki when he said that he arranged to meet up with Yuri, but she grew more and more uneasy as they boarded the elevator. The building was incomplete, consisting of only a few finished floors so far, and posted here and there were signs that read “Trespassing is Forbidden.” Moreover, there was clearly something different than usual about Tabuki’s manner itself. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but he had none of his usual cheerfulness. Nor did he speak about wild birds. Plus, the elevator they were riding was eerily large, made almost entirely of red iron scaffolding. It was dusty, and rose with a rattling, scraping sound.

“Um, are we really supposed to be meeting up with Yuri-san here?” Ringo asked desperately, but Tabuki did not reply.

“I get to meet a big star like Yuri-san. I feel like I’m about to burst!” Himari was grinning, holding her little tote bag and the paper bag from Yozawaya and not appearing suspicious in the least.

“Hey, Ringo-chan,” Tabuki said in a low, soft voice.

“Yes?” she quickly replied. She tried to see his eyes through his glasses, but the light of the setting sun reflected off the lenses, and she could only read his expression by his mouth.

“Do you remember what I said to you once? There’s a reason for everything, even sad or painful things. Not a single thing in this world is meaningless.”

Of course she did. It was the same reason that she believed in fate and tried to carry out its whims. Now, she was slowly beginning to change, but she always kept Tabuki’s words near and dear to her. “I do. So…?”

“That’s good.” Tabuki smiled faintly. “To tell you the truth, the reason I invited you here is that there’s something I want you all to know.”

“Something you want us to know?”

“Yes. My reason for living.”

“Huh?” Himari finally looked up suspiciously, eyes darting between Ringo and Tabuki. Ringo reached out and grabbed the sleeve of Himari’s cardigan with her fingertips.

“Now I’m going to show you what that reason is.”

“Tabuki-san?” Ringo felt a strange foreboding, and gripped Himari’s cardigan tighter.

“It’s time,” Tabuki said ominously. The girls stared at him, a bit scared by this flat declaration. “Today, I’m going to deliver judgment upon the Takakura family.”

He removed his sunglasses and turned slowly toward them, his face half-lit by the setting sun. His eyes, as he smiled softly, were hollow and crazed.

 

Sanetoshi sat on the bed in his examination room, playing with a bright red apple. Shirase and Souya stood at either side of him, gazing out expressionless through the slightly open curtains.

“She’s not coming back, is she?” said Shirase as he watched an elderly man in his sleep clothes walking through the courtyard.

“Guess she’s not coming,” Souya continued, watching a nurse run out from inside the hospital toward the old man.

“What a bad girl.”

“What a wicked girl.”

Their eyes flashed to one another.

“Bad, wicked girls must be punished,” Shirase said quietly.

“Yes, they must be greatly punished,” Souya continued.

Sanetoshi lay back on the bed, chuckling. “Stunning, isn’t it? In the world of humans, the truth is not limited to what’s actually true. Humans will insist that the things they themselves want to see, their own hopes and desires, are the truth. They’ll even use this ‘truth’ as an excuse to kill others.” Sanetoshi laughed with vibrant glee. His long hair shone as though the evening sun dwelled in it, casting strange-colored shadows on the floor. “This is war. A war is on the horizon.”

Shirase and Souya did not say a word, nor did their expressions change in the slightest. They only turned slowly Sanetoshi’s way, looking at him with their red eyes, their fluffy black hair bathed in the same orange light.