Chapter 05

Chapter 05

 

NINE YEARS PRIOR, as the massive Typhoon No. 13 moved north along the east coast of Honshu, passing through the Kanto skies, little Himari was wrapped in a futon, an ice pack upon her forehead, hot breath rolling from her mouth as she suffered a high fever.

Kanba and Shoma sat by her side the whole time. The strange, restless excitement that they usually felt during typhoons disappeared, and their hearts clenched as they watched uneasily over their little sister. The violent rattling of the iron walls, the windows, doors, and cupboards within the house stirred up fear in their hearts.

“All of the ambulances are already on call? But we have a five-year-old girl with a fever that won’t come down!” Chiemi’s voice unconsciously grew frantic. Kenzan came over and put a hand on her shoulder, pressing down the hook of the telephone.

“Honey…” Chiemi looked at her husband uneasily.

“That’s enough.” Kenzan looked at Himari, wrapped in the futon, her breath ragged, then looked back to Chiemi. “I’ll take her to the hospital.”

“But…” Chiemi wanted to stop him, but they had no other options here. Still, the wind was roaring outside, and their whole house swayed. The news was filled with stories about the storm, and a typhoon warning had been issued for their area.

“Don’t worry.” That single phrase was threaded through with Kenzan’s resolve.

Watching as their mother carefully dressed Himari in thermals to protect her from the cold, Kanba and Shoma’s fears grew.

Kenzan donned his rain gear and boots, let Chiemi squeeze his hands once more, and then too Himari, so dazed she was practically sleeping, upon his back. Once more, he told Chiemi, “Don’t worry,” and set out into the downpour.

The brothers swiftly threw on their ponchos in tandem, following behind him.

“I’m coming too!”

“Me too!”

“Stop, it’s dangerous out there!” Chiemi gripped the arms and shoulders of her other two children, who seemed to be possessed of an unusual strength, trying to stop them somehow. “Come back here!”

Kanba was the one who managed to escape their mother’s hands. Out in the darkness, there was nothing but the harsh, pelting raindrops, and the sound of the wind.

“Daaad!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, but even the light of the streetlamps was dimmed, and he could not see his father’s back. “Dad!” he screamed, again and again. More and more rain spilled into his boots, and soon his socks and feet were soaked.

“Dad!”

When Kenzan noticed the voice and turned around, he saw Kanba, already muddy from having fallen, running full pelt toward him.

“Stupid kid…” he muttered to himself, waiting for Kanba to catch up.

“I’m coming too!”

It was just as Kanba shouted these words, trying to run closer to his father that a signboard blown by the wind suddenly filled little Kanba’s field of view. As he reflexively folded his arms in from of him, shutting his eyes, there was a loud, sharp sound. Timidly, he opened his eyes to see Kenzan shielding him, blood running from his arms. In the darkness, the blood dripping from his arms onto the drenched pavement looked black.

“Dad!” Kanba’s eyes opened wide in fear.

The metallic scent of blood mixed with the smell of the rain.

Kenzan’s breathing was ragged, his face twisted, but he soon stood right back up.

“Let’s go,” he said quietly, and once more began walking through the deluge toward the hospital.

To Kanba’s eyes, his father’s face as he protected his family was terrifyingly powerful, and beautiful.

“Make sure you watch your step, it’s slippery.”

“Okay,” Kanba replied obediently, trying desperately to stick by his father as he walked, staring down at his own little feet. No matter what else happened on the way to the hospital, they would get Himari there. Kanba was assured of this within his little heart.

From now until forever, he would protect Himari, as well as his whole family.

 

Leaving Himari and No. 3 waiting outside of the examination room, I sat down across from Dr. Washizuka. On top of the usual scheduled outpatient examination, today we would learn the results of the recent tests.

Penguin No. 2 stood by my feet, a serious look on its face. By now, I was more or less accustomed to the surreal scene.

“The test results are reassuring, and her condition seems good, so we’ll just keep observing her like this for a little while longer,” Dr. Washizuka said quietly.

“I see. Thank you very much,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief.

Himari seemed healthier every day. But if this was because of, or rather, thanks to the penguin hat, my brother and I wondered if something strange might show up on a test or examination. It seemed absurd, but we’d worried that one of her internal organs might have suddenly gone penguin-shaped, or a penguin-shaped birthmark had popped up somewhere on her body, or something.

“I’m not sure how to put this, but this truly is a mystery. In my profession, you sometimes come across cases that could be called nothing short of miraculous, but your sister’s case is doubly so.” The doctor smiled gently.

“To tell you the truth,” I said, with some hesitation, “There’s something I’d like to ask you.”

“Sure, what is it?”

Timidly, I pulled the penguin hat out of the bag on my lap and held it out to him.

“Could I ask you to examine this? We think it might be the source of Himari’s miracle.”

I could tell that Dr. Washizuka was taken aback by my serious manner.

“It’s just a theory, but I believe there’s a possibility that this hat is actually some kind of alien or supernatural being, and it cured Himari’s sickness with some kind of mysterious power.”

Right now, this strange hat that I held in my left hand was the key to unraveling all of these mysteries.

The examination room was enveloped by a bizarre silence. Clearly, things had just become awkward.

“You might be onto something!” Dr. Washizuka said suddenly.

“Really?” The doctor patted me on my hunched shoulders.

“You’re a pretty funny kid. Super funny. That’s wonderful, for your sister that is.”

“Huh?” I was deadly serious.

“Laughter! Laughter helps boost your immune system. We’re currently seeing a lot of results supporting humor as a medical treatment. This hat’s an alien, huh? Yes. It’s good to make your sister laugh every day, just like that.” His mouth twisted as he tried to say something else, and Dr. Washizuka burst out laughing. “Seriously though, I had no idea you were such a funny kid. My apologies.”

Seeing the doctor unable to contain his laughter, I silently put the hat back in the bag.

Himari waited on a bench in the hall, and she looked up from her knitting as I said my farewells and stepped outside. “Was the doctor laughing at something?” she asked me curiously.

“Yeah, he was saying that it’s a miracle the results of your exam looked so good. So, he got a little…” I smiled weakly, resigned.

“I see. That’s good. Let’s do some shopping and head back, then.” Himari tucked her knitting away into her bag and hopped right up.

“Yeah.” I walked down the hallway, matching her pace. The sky outside was thick with clouds, and somehow dim, as if it was about to rain.

 

Kuho Asami’s private hospital room was in the middle of the floor above the room that Himari always visited for her outpatient exams. Asami stared dazedly at the clouded sky outside.

There was a bandage wrapped extravagantly around her head. The large bouquet that decorated her bedside perfumed the air. On the little table was a heap of get-well cards and presents from her fans. Still, he had not come.

Thankfully, the wound on her head was not especially large, but her condition left it unclear if she would be able to return to work anytime soon. Asami boasted a top spot in the popularity listings of Sixteen magazine, but she knew that this was only a fleeting thing. Girls always turned their interests to new things, be it clothing, makeup, male idols, or models.

“Goodness, we had better crush him soon.” The voice belonged to Natsume Masako, Asami’s advisor, the one who directed her to form the Takakura Kanba Romantic Casualties Club.

“Huh?” Asami turned around to see Masako’s almond-shaped eyes looking back at her.

“Aren’t you worried? You’ve been thinking about your career, haven’t you?” Masako smiled languidly, but the smile did not extend to her eyes.

Asami looked down at her own hands, at her long nails, gaudy with nail art and at odds with her current appearance.

“This is all my fault. I pushed you to do this, after all.” Masako suddenly lowered her eyes in sadness. The shadows of her long eyelashes fell across her cheeks.

“No, that’s not true! This isn’t your fault, Natsume-san! This happened because I wanted to see him!” Asami said, suddenly embarrassed.

Masako stared at her, then sat down on the edge of the bed, gently touching Asami’s cheek with her long, slender fingers.

“You poor dear. This incident is unforgivable. To think someone could hurt an adorable little thing like you. Are you certain you remember nothing other than that someone pushed you from behind?”

Unconsciously, Asami found herself captivated by Masako’s mature, porcelain skin, and her sharp, glistening eyes.

“Well, actually…” Asami started hesitantly.

Masako’s thin, well-shaped lips twisted faintly.

“I don’t really remember anything about that moment. But…”

Masako continued stroking her cheek.

“Just before the accident, I think I saw a silhouette.” Asami thought deeply for a moment.

“A silhouette?” Masako’s fingers stopped moving, her nails curling imperceptibly toward Asami’s cheek.

“I remember! I definitely saw them. It was…”

Before Asami could speak any further, Masako cut in, sharply asking, “You saw that?” her expression swiftly turning dark. She drew close to Asami, her face so close their noses nearly touched.

“I, y-yes, but…”

“That’s enough already,” said Masako, drawing smoothly away.

Asami was bewildered. She could never tell what Masako was thinking. And how did she know so much about Kanba? And why couldn’t Asami disobey her?

Right before Asami’s eyes, Masako held up an orb the size of a golf ball.

“Natsume-san?”

Masako did not reply. Instead, she used the orb. She had already disqualified Kuho Asami. She was a simple, foolish, boring girl.

“Farewell,” she said. “You’ve been fascinating.”

Kuho Asami’s affections, or her love or whatever, were nothing Masako could comprehend, nor did she care to try. Not that it mattered. When she left Asami’s room two minutes later and stepped outside, she knew it wouldn’t be long before they disappeared completely from this world.

 

Kanba was already in a sour mood by the time their uncle dropped by.

Since the Takakuras had lost their parents, Ikebe was one of the very few adults who bothered to look out for the children. He was a kind man, but there were different kinds of “looking out,” and though their uncle always worried for them and always tried to cheer them up, he was still essentially a stranger.

“Come in,” he said.

As Ikebe entered the parlor, the entertainment news on the daytime talk show seeped into Kanba’s ears.

“Up next, there have been new reports concerning popular model Kuho Asami, who recently suffered an accident at the Akasaka Mitsuki subway station. Shortly after the accident, Kuho-san initially testified that someone pushed her from behind. But according to new information, Kuho-san now says she can’t remember anything from the time of the incident. The police intend to continue their investigation, including searching for any witnesses to the scene.”

Kanba quietly picked up the remote and turned off the TV. So, she had gotten into an accident. Not only had Asami been injured the night after he met up with her, but now her testimony had changed. Still, Kanba’s currently most pressing issue was the man sitting before him.

They faced each other, the table between them. On the table was the usual “Ikebe-ya” package of sweets.

“I was hoping to do this when Shoma was here too,” Ikebe said softly, as if unable to bear the silence.

Quiet returned to the living room.

“I’m really sorry to put this on you all so suddenly. I mean, when I talked about selling this house, I didn’t mean immediately. This isn’t the sort of place that sells quickly nowadays. It’s just… with this recession going on, no matter how established our shop is, things are getting rough for us.” He stopped and started unwrapping the bundle of sweets he had brought as a gift from his shop.

Kanba and the others were already thoroughly sick of eating those sweets, but they were still pretty tasty.

“Of course, I’m going to do right by you all, and take responsibility for your well-being. It might be too much to take all three of you together, but I’ll find someone who can take custody of you. It’s only two or three years until you and Shoma are adults, right?”

“I’ll go make some tea,” said Kanba, standing up as if to cut Ikebe off, and heading to the kitchen.

“Plus, you of all people should know, Kanba,” Ikebe continued, speaking to Kanba’s back. “I don’t want to have to say it, but your parents… Chiemi and my little brother, they’re never coming back here.”

Kanba continued to the kitchen, pulling out two suitable glasses, and pulled some cold barley tea from the fridge, pouring it into both. Then, he returned silently to the living room, the two glasses in hand, and placed them on the table.

“And what about Himari? What is Himari supposed to do? She’s sick. You know that.” He could never leave Himari on her own. And he could never let her feel lonesome. More than anything, he could not bear to be apart from her.

“I know that. No need to worry. We can look after Himari at our place. If anything happens with her, we’ll let you know right away.”

If anything happened to her it would be too late. Even now, he had no idea what might happen without the penguin hat. If they didn’t find the Penguindrum, she might die again. They were already down to the wire.

Kanba was unable to contain his anger and had to look away from his uncle’s face. His eyes fell on the family photo, now standing up again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the marks scratched into the beam where he and his brother would compare their heights. Above each mark, their respective names were written in katakana.

If not here, then where could they come home to? Where were they supposed to “make a family”?

“How much?” His voice was low, practically a groan.

“What’s that, Kanba?”

Kanba shot a glare at Ikebe, and asked him again, firmly, “I’ll raise all the necessary funds. How much do I need to get together so that you don’t have to sell this house?”

How many times now had he consciously stopped himself from clenching his fists? To hide how his directionless anger grew hazy and sank down quietly into the bottom of his heart? How much longer would this continue?

“Kanba, I wasn’t suggesting anything like that. There’s no way you could get that kind of money on a high schooler’s part-time salary.” Distressed, Ikebe tried to calm Kanba down.

“Listen!” Kanba shouted, cutting him off. “How much do you want?!”

Ikebe furrowed his brow. His face, as he looked at Kanba, was a mix of sadness, concern, and a little bit of anger.

At some point, Kanba’s shoulders had begun heaving. They would protect their family themselves. Somehow or other, he would protect Himari and this house. Kanba steadied his breath, his determination renewed. There was no time to waste thinking through options; he needed to act.

 

Ringo sat daintily on a chair in a restaurant in a department store in Ginza, feeling a little bit bashful.

She still had not talked to her father, who she had not seen in some time, about him. If she did, her father would surely be jealous. Right now, she was still her father’s precious jewel. She hoped to remain his cute, sweet little Ringo-chan. That was the sort of affection that a daughter owed her father, she believed.

She gave her order to the waiter standing beside the table, flipping through the menu.

“Two of the seafood curry sets, please. Is that alright with you, Father?”

“Yes.” Satoshi smiled.

Ringo turned the page, satisfied, and her eyes sparkled.

“Oh! There’s a special Antarctic parfait, look!”

The parfait depicted on the dessert page was decorated with shaved ice and whipped cream like an iceberg, and little penguin dolls sitting on top.

“It’s so cute.”

“Then we’ll have one of those, too.” Satoshi said tactfully.

“Hey, we should go to that aquarium soon.” Ringo thought that this was a wonderful suggestion.

“Which aquarium?”

“The one in Ikebukuro that we used to go to all the time! Don’t you remember when that staff lady got mad at you because you were so interested in taking pictures of the penguins marching that you blocked up the walkway?” Ringo laughed, as though it happened yesterday.

“Did that happen?” Satoshi smiled back at her, but all memories of this aquarium seemed to have disappeared; he found it a little suspect, the idea that he could have been so taken with the marching of penguins.

“It did! And then on the way home all three of us bought matching cell phone charms. Look!” said Ringo, pulling out her cellphone, swinging the little charm of a penguin holding an apple, its coloring worn and faded, in front of him. “It was just a coincidence, but you said that it was like it had been made just for me.”

Just then, Satoshi’s phone rang.

“Oh, just a sec, sorry.” He picked up the phone and stood quickly from his chair, walking a short distance away to take the call. “Hello?”

Ringo’s slightly joyful mood suddenly flattened. Her father’s phone was missing its matching charm.

“Ah, I’m with my daughter right now. It’s that visitation day I mentioned. No, I’ll have dinner with you tonight. I’ll bring home a cake. Give my love to Aoi-chan, too.”

Who was her father returning home to? Ringo had a fairly good idea, but she pretended she didn’t.

“Say, Father. On the last Curry Day, Tabuki-san ate my curry that I made all by myself,” she muttered, watching as Satoshi chatted on the phone with a far more excited expression than he had shown her, feeling farther away than she actually was.

“He said it was delicious.”

It was a hollow feeling, one she was not sure that she could name as sadness.

 

Ringo recalled being inside the pond at Wadazuka Park. It was painfully cold, and her hair swayed in the water, caressing her cheeks, soft as cotton. A faint light pierced down through the water from the distant sky above, to the depths of the pond. Algae, plankton, and her own pallid hands as she sank. The bubbles of air escaping her throat.

“Thank goodness, you’re awake!”

She smiled weakly, worried. “Huh, me?”

Underneath the water, Ringo thought only of being with her family. Was this what they meant by your life flashing before your eyes?

“You fell into the pond and were drowning. We weren’t sure if you would make it for a moment, but you got mouth-to-mouth.”

“Mouth…to mouth?”

Ringo quickly realized: Tabuki rescued her from the pond. And then he had given her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

In other words, they kissed.

Ringo was on cloud nine. She shared her awaited first real kiss with the man of her destiny. She was succeeding. Things were proceeding. Everything was just as she imagined. She and Tabuki were bound by fate after all. There was no space for that woman, Tokikago Yuri, to get between them. She would probably be off somewhere stamping her feet in frustration right about now.

Ringo, soaked through, headed home after that, saying she felt a cold coming on. She only realized later that the insolent interloper Takakura Shoma was gone as well. His presence had thrown a wrench into her plans, but things still went perfectly for Ringo in the end.

After all, she had kissed Tabuki.

 

Walking home alone from her meeting with her wretched father, Ringo dragged her feet through the shopping district at Ogikubo Station. All of the busy shoppers around only served to magnify her loneliness. Still, she could not lose focus. Today’s mission was not over yet.

In her left hand, she held a small box from a cake shop. She pulled her diary from her bag with her right hand, confirmed her destiny, and grinned.

On the way home, drop in on Tabuki with a mont blanc. Of all cakes, mont blancs were Tabuki’s favorite. And there was no way that he wouldn’t go crazy for Ringo herself, having brought him his cake.

Ringo giggled to herself and lifted her head confidently, walking swiftly. But the scene in front of her sent her plunging once more into the depths of loneliness.

At the cafe before her, Tabuki and Yuri were facing one another, smiling at each other very much like lovers. Yuri’s look was casual but refined, while Tabuki wore a t-shirt that read in large letters, “Crazy About Birds.”

Tabuki had his mouth open wide, stuffing his face happily with mont blanc.

“Mm, this is good! I would definitely rank this place on the top of my ‘Best of the Mont Blancs’ chart!” Tabuki wore a dopey look on his face.

“I swear, Tabuki, you are simply Fabulous Max! Take your time with that cake,” Yuri said without a hint of rebuke, resting on her elbows and gazing lovingly at Tabuki as he ate.

“This flavor. Oh, gosh, you just gotta go crazy for it!”

Ringo stopped walking and stared dumbfounded at the pair. She dropped the cake box on the ground at once.

She started back through the shopping district she had come through with a hurried pace. With her eyes down so that she would not encounter anything else she didn’t want to see, all she could see was her own shoes. Her unreliable, childish, tiny shoes.

She felt a drop on the back of her head, and looked up at the sky just as it began to rain. The sky had gone gray and clouded without her noticing, and rain began to pour.

Ringo felt suitably maudlin, being pelted by the rain. It was not like she could feel any more hopeless.

“Ringo-chan?”

She looked back at the sweet, familiar voice, and saw Shoma and Himari standing beneath a shared umbrella. Shoma held a bag from the supermarket in his hand.

“What’s wrong? Do you not have an umbrella?” Himari came closer to Ringo, pulling Shoma along. “There’s not much room, but come on in.” Himari grinned.

“Are you sure?” Ringo glanced at Shoma.

“I-I don’t really mind.” For some reason, his cheeks were turning pink.

“Are you heading home? You wanna come to our house to wait out the rain? We can have dinner together!” Himari said in a fawning voice, happily pulling Ringo under the umbrella.

Ringo again looked at Shoma, but not only was his face red, he looked away.

“Sounds good, right, Sho-chan?” Himari asked Shoma, carefree.

“That’s fine, I guess.”

Then it’s decided, Himari’s smile seemed to say.

“I swear. Everyone always seems to be coming home soaked lately. What a bother,” said Himari, giggling as though this was not a bother at all.

“That so?”

Ringo was relieved. She was surrounded by the warmth of other people, in the midst of a lively conversation, and soon would get to eat dinner together with them. When she thought of this, the whole day seemed worth it.

“Yep. Just like the other day, when Ringo-chan went on that date in the park, right?”

“Uh, no, I mean, that was just an unrelated coincidence,” Shoma said, faltering. “Let’s get home already. It’s getting chilly, and Oginome-san’s gonna catch a cold.”

What a strange person, Ringo thought. But that had nothing to do with her. Things had gone poorly today, but surely, there was a reason for that. Fate was not something that changed. It could not be changed as simply as that.

 

The train car was sparse with riders. Kanba sat in a row with Penguin No. 3, scarcely taking in his surroundings.

The man boarded around Kasumigaseki, and leisurely made his way over from the next car, standing before Kanba.

Kanba looked up at the man.

The man, who wore all black, held an envelope out to Kanba. Kanba took it, quickly checked the contents, and said, “Looks right,” slipping the envelope into his inner jacket pocket.

The sound of the man’s footsteps as he departed intermingled with the keening of the train.

 

Me and Himari and Oginome-san. I certainly had not expected to have this particular line-up crowded around the dining table. Kanba was probably going to be out late with some girl. Still, I was not sure that I was gifted with the ability to weather these circumstances on my own.

“I love this curry-flavored beef and potato stew! Curry is something to eat with the ones you love, right, Ringo-chan?”

Himari was in high spirits, eating more than usual. We set aside portions for Penguins No. 2 and 3 on their own little plates, which Oginome-san, who could not see them, seemed to think peculiar.

“That’s right. Curry is something to share with the ones you love.”

Oginome-san, who looked bashfully pleased at having her recipe praised, apparently remembered nothing of what had happened at the park. I fully intended to forget about it as well, so I felt grateful.

On the day of that “date” at Wadazuka Park, I instinctively jumped into the pond to save Oginome-san after she fell in. If I hadn’t, she might have died, after all. Tabuki was so wrapped up in doting on that Yuri-san that he hadn’t even noticed that Oginome-san was drowning. I had no choice. That mouth-to-mouth was done purely to save her life, it was necessary. In other words, that kiss didn’t really count as a “kiss.” I was sure of this.

“Sho-chan, your face is all red, what’s wrong?” Himari pointed out, sharp as ever.

“It’s nothing! This curry stew really is delicious!”

Despite my sureness, I could not simply forget the feeling of Oginome-san’s soft lips, chilled and soaked in the grassy pond water. It was difficult to bear the guilt of keeping silent about this to her. It had been my first kiss, and probably hers as well, after all.

I glanced Oginome-san’s way. Even now, the sound of her and Himari whispering and laughing together sparkled in the apartment’s air.

I caught sight of the same notebook I had seen that day at the park poking out from the tote bag at Oginome-san’s side. This was the chance I needed. I could not be shy about this. What was I going to do if I did not say something to her now?

I slowly set down my chopsticks.

“Oginome-san. I have a big favor to ask of you.”

“What?” Both she and Himari looked at me, bemused.

“The other day, when we were at Wadazuka Park, did you have a notebook with you?”

Her eyebrows suddenly knit slightly, and she set down her bowl.

“I was wondering if you could let me borrow that, if you don’t mind?” I swallowed thickly. She looked back at me, clearly dubious.

Himari seemed puzzled, and looked curiously between me and Oginome-san.

“Just for a few moments. I’ll give it right back when I’m done with it. So…”

Before I could finish speaking, Oginome-san snapped her chopsticks down onto the table.

“Don’t be stupid. Why should I lend that to you?”

“Well, I…” I stammered, glancing at her. Himari held the penguins close, looking troubled.

“Absolutely not. You can’t have it. It’s not something that I can lend to other people in the first place,” Oginome-san said flatly, in a harsh tone.

“Why not? It’s just a normal diary, isn’t it?” Crap, I thought, but it was too late.

“So you saw it! You’re terrible!” Her face went red and twisted, and she stood, closing in on me.

“I-I just happened to catch a glimpse of it! But all it has is your plans, just things that you yourself want to happen, right?!” It was too late to take it back. This was all for Himari, who stood before us. If there was a chance that that diary was the Penguindrum, then I had to get my hands on it no matter what. Even if it made Oginome-san angry.

“That’s not true. What’s written there is fate.” Her voice went soft, her eyes lowered.

“Fate?”

“My future is written in that notebook. It’s my Fate Diary.” Her voice grew conspicuously louder, as if she was reaffirming this to herself.

“Fate Diary? What the heck is that?”

She glared at me feverishly, her shoulders heaving.

“Listen, I’ve been honest with you. Now, it’s your turn. How do you know about all that? And why do you need it? Explain yourself!”

I don’t know how my brother would have handled this, but I knew that if I didn’t explain myself, I would never get my hands on that notebook.

“Alright. I’ll talk.”

I took a breath, stood up, picked up the penguin hat, and showed it to her.

“What is this?” she asked.

“Oh, that’s… a souvenir that we got recently from the aquarium,” Himari explained, curiously.

Perhaps uneasy at the rising tensions in the room, Himari had drawn the penguins close to her, and both 2 and 3 were flailing in her grip, flapping their beaks in protest.

I silently placed the hat down in the middle of the table. Once more, I gulped.

“Please try not to be too surprised. The truth is, this penguin hat is actually some kind of mysterious life-form. It might be an alien or some other kind of being.”

Oginome-san went slack-jawed. Himari waited for me to continue, her expression unchanging.

“This thing ordered us to bring it your notebook, or rather, your Fate Diary.” I was fully aware that what I was saying was absurd, but what else could I do? These were the facts that I witnessed with my own eyes. I could not say in front of Himari that her life depended on that notebook.

“Stop playing with me.”

The words came so softly that I barely heard them. “Huh?”

“Stop playing with me! I listened to you seriously!” Oginome-san shot to her feet.

“I’m not lying! Besides, you’re the one who’s messing around and being cryptic with this so-called Fate Diary or whatever!” My protests, bursting out at the sight of her dubious expression, were weak and obviously not doing me any favors.

“Oh? Then what’s this ‘mysterious life-form’? Did you hit your head or something?”

I could not respond. I would probably have said something similar in her position.

“Survival Tactiiiic!”

I turned around in surprise to see Himari, who sat between us, had at some point donned the penguin hat. Now she was clad in her penguin dress, white lace whipping furiously around her. The otherworldly space spread from out of the gaps in the lace. That sweet scent wafted through the air, and the otherworldly rhythm wracked my whole body.

Himari stroked her slender, corset-wrapped body with her tiny hands. The frills beneath her billowing skirt inflated one after the other, like popcorn.

“Shut the hell up and listen, you filthy sow. You think you can just start flappin’ your mouth?” Himari’s bright red eyes glistened, and a sudden gust sent her long hair fluttering.

“What are you saying, Himari-chan?” Oginome-san looked around her new surroundings, dumbfounded. “Where are we?”

The being who was both Himari and the penguin hat puffed her chest out haughtily, loudly clicking her tongue.

“That’s enough. Hand over that stream of messed-up delusions that comes spewing out your butt, that ‘Fate Diary’ or whatever, to that brat there immediately!” Himari whipped a finger towards Oginome-san. The rhythm modulated in time.

Even my innards seemed to be vibrating. It was difficult to breathe.

Though I tried to describe the situation, I could not explain what I didn’t understand. Oginome-san was so shocked she seemed to forget even to breathe.

“W-wait a second, what is all this?!” Oginome-san looked at me, eyes wide with apprehension.

I could not reply. It took all I had just to shake my head slightly.

“Himari-chan, is something wrong?” Still sitting down on the tatami, she looked up at Himari, in her penguin dress.

“You’re the one who’s got something wrong, you perverted stalker!” Himari forcefully stomped her glistening black boots. The sound seemed to reverberate throughout the entire space.

“Himari-chan, why would you say something like that? Is this a joke?”

“How loathsome for you to speak back to us!” Himari lifted her chin coldly, turned her head to the side and spat. “A filth-brained, muck-wallowing pig like you!”

“That’s awful! You shouldn’t say things like that!” Tears welled in Oginome-san’s eyes.

Her distress was understandable, and very relatable. I kept taking a breath to try and say something, but when I opened my mouth the right words never came. The sweet scent seemed to fill my head with a foggy haze.

Himari gave a signal with her eyes, and a square hole popped open beneath Oginome-san’s feet.

“Oginome-san! That’s not it! This is Himari, but it isn’t Himari!” I finally managed to explain to Oginome-san as she fell into the darkness. Somewhere, deep down in my heart, I sympathized, wondering if I always fell down into the darkness the same way.

“You muck-wallowing sow!” Himari huffed angrily, her hands on her hips.

I stared at the little door into the darkness that opened up in the floor. I wondered if Himari’s voice sounded distant to Oginome-san right about now, as she hurdled through the dark.

“Oginome-san?!” I said again. Penguin Hat and Penguins No. 2 and 3 turned at the sound of my distraught voice.

More than shocked, I was half-terrified. From that darkness that always swallowed me so swiftly, Oginome-san’s white hands reached straight out, grasping firmly at edge of the floor.

She groaned, murmuring, “Who’s a muck-wallower?”

A cold sweat began to run down the expressionless faces of Nos. 2 and 3 at this dreadful turn of events.

Now, one hand gripped the edge. With ragged breaths, bit by bit she scraped her powerful, flexing hand along the floor. Finally, her right shoulder came into view, and as her disheveled hair slunk into sight, the penguins paled and clung to me, leaving me unable to move a muscle.

I was too terrified to draw my eyes away.

“Don’t you look down on me.” Groaning, Oginome-san dragged the upper half of her body up onto the floor, steadying her ragged breath. From the waist down she still hung in the darkness.

“O-Oginome-san, a-are you okay?” I asked, in a voice so small and pitiful it surprised even me.

“Don’t you look down on me!” As she hauled herself up in a most unladylike fashion, her face was shadowed by her hair, and I could not read her expression.

The slimmest, slightest bit of worry crossed Himari’s face, but she still stood with her legs wide, glaring at Oginome-san.

What happened next took only a matter of seconds. Just as I noticed Oginome-san making a break for Himari—not saying a word, not even bothering to stand up—she reached for Himari’s bewildered face and seized the penguin hat. The crumpled hat was sent flying swiftly away.

“This piece of crap!”

The moment the hat came away from Himari’s head, we were back in the parlor. Outside, it rained, and steam still rose from the curry stew atop the table. The hat flew away out onto the dark roadside.

Himari was back in her original state, collapsed in a small heap on the tatami, her eyes closed.

“What are you doing?! That’s Himari’s!” I shook the penguins off and rushed out to the front of the house. Instead of the sweet smell of the storm from earlier, my lungs now filled with the cold scent of vegetation damp with rain.

My socks sucked in the water in an instant, and chills ran up and down my spine.

The rain poured down more violently than earlier in the evening. I scanned the tiny park right next to the house and the black asphalt, but the hat was nowhere to be seen. The rain pelted harshly on the metal of our home.

My vision began to blur, whether from the rain or from my own tears, and my throat stung. Without the hat, Himari would die. Collapsed on the floor just now, she was probably already dead.

Startled by the sudden sound of a truck’s engine, I looked up to see the hat, flapping from the corner of the canopy of a freight truck that was just about to depart.

“Gotcha!” I reached out, but it was out of reach. “W-wait a minute!”

The truck started slowly and cruelly through the rain. Without a moment’s hesitation, I ran after it.

“Wait! Waaait!”

With the driving rain, no matter how hard I tried, there was no way that I could possibly catch up with that truck. I ran desperately, wiping my eyes with my hand.

“Kanba!” Up ahead, I saw my brother walking along with Penguin No. 1.

“Shoma, what’s up?”

“There!” I pointed to the truck’s canopy, before a fit of violent coughing overtook me.

“How?!” Kanba swiftly shed his jacket and looked all around, spotting a rusted bicycle, and shoved No. 1 into it, taking off.

“Damn it, what is with today?!” he muttered.

The truck rounded the corner, picking up speed, my brother rushing through the rain behind it on the rusted bicycle.

 

It was dawn, following that fateful evening nine years earlier. Little Himari was in a bed dressed with clean white sheets, breathing softly and fast asleep, her fever lowered. Kanba sat on a stool set beside the bed, his poncho and boots so filthy, the mud looked like it had been painted on. His hair was mussed, his face weary and dazed. His eyes were bleary. A blister that had formed on his left foot stung terribly.

It was dim in the room with its drawn curtains, the round clock on the wall the only indication that it was already morning. Beside Kanba, Kenzan breathed deeply.

“We can relax now.” His arms looked dreadful, wrapped in pristine white bandages, except where they were dotted with blood.

Kenzan smiled back as Kanba looked up at him. There was a mute appeal in the boy’s eyes, unable to form words to express his feelings. Kenzan’s large, warm hand rustled over Kanba’s head, mussing up his hair even further.

“You did good back there, Kanba.”

Kanba lowered his head slightly, happy but also embarrassed. He felt the guilty, tearful storm within him slowly dissipating in his warm heart.

Kenzan stood up slowly and stepped by the window, swiftly opening the curtains. The dazzling morning sun pierced in to fill the hospital room. The sky was fully clear. Birds were singing. It was a beautiful morning, more beautiful than Kanba had ever seen before.

For a moment, Kanba narrowed his eyes. He could feel the heat coming back to his body as sun shone warmly on his skin.

“Every storm passes. But while you’re waiting for it to pass, you have to protect the ones you love. Never forget that, Kanba.” Kenzan looked back at him with a smile and a glint in his eye.

Kanba finally returned a real smile. Things were going to be alright.

 

Still soaked by the rain, I grabbed Himari’s shoulders as she lay on the tatami, shaking her again and again.

“Himari! Himari, snap out of it! Himari!”

I knew. In the dark corners of my mind, I knew that without the penguin hat, it was pointless. Still, there was nothing else for me to do. Nothing else I could do.

Himari’s little body only wobbled back and forth, her eyes still closed, motionless as a doll.

“Himari, don’t die!” I wasn’t sure if I felt hot or cold, if the sensation hitting my body were sharp or dull.

“No way. I mean, it’s just a hat. Himari-chan was playing around.” Oginome-san was at her wit’s end, paling, peering at Himari’s face, tears again welling in her eyes.

I could not blame her for what she had done, not that I was thinking straight enough to assign blame. It was completely unbelievable, that that hat would have a hold on Himari’s life.

As I waited for my brother, who chased down the freight truck on bicycle, I remembered having such grim, furious, sorrowful feelings about my family once long before. Such scenes, floating hazily in my mind, always made it hard to breathe.

“Himari.”

How could I be so powerless?

Oginome-san and I sat at Himari’s sides, both of us crushed, trying to hold back the tears.

At the sound of the front door opening, I looked up. There were heavy, slamming footsteps, and my brother entered the living room, looking ragged and gripping the hat, Penguin No. 1 on his heels.

“Aniki!”

He was covered in mud, his pants ripped, stained with blood from his knees down. No. 1 was black with dirt as well; with its round, black eyes, it looked like a black blob.

Huffing, Kanba stomped across the tatami, and gripped Himari’s hand tight around the dirtied hat.

He left a meandering trail of mud and blood on the tatami behind him.

For a moment, we all watched Himari carefully, holding our breaths, so quiet the silence seemed to ring.

Just then, Himari’s fingers moved, ever so slightly, squeezing the hat. Finally, there was the faint sound of her breathing, and she opened her eyes a crack.

“Himari!”

“Himari-chan!”

Oginome-san’s voice joined with mine, both shouting for joy. Tears of joy rolled down my face as I looked up at Kanba. He grinned back. Then he collapsed to his knees, fell heavily onto the floor, and lost consciousness.

“Aniki!” Despite his dreadful state, there was a look of joyful fulfillment upon his face.

In this room, filled with the scent of blood and rain, we were all thoroughly exhausted. Even now, I didn’t know if things were good or bad. But at any rate, Himari had been saved.

It would be good to clean up the floor before Himari was fully awake, I thought. I ought to take a look at Kanba’s legs, as well.

“So, what is going on, here?” Oginome-san asked in a shrinking voice.

“It’s just what it looks like,” I replied with a wry smile. Was there any other explanation to give? “It’s…exactly what it looks like.”

 

Kanba rubbed the bandage-wrapped wounds hidden beneath his pants legs as he listened to Uncle Ikebe’s phone ring. Traces of the soaking rain remained on the tatami, which they had futilely scrubbed with a cloth. Atop the table, beside a half-drunk glass of barley tea, was an envelope, streaked with blood and soaked with water.

“Hey, Uncle? I got that money we were talking about. I deposited it into the shop’s bank account, so go and double-check it later. Yeah, it’s fine, it’s not funny money. Anyway, I assume that means that we’re fine to stay in the house for now?”

Kanba quietly put his hand on the empty envelope.

“Himari? No changes there.”

From the living room, he could see Himari digging in the dirt by the side of the house, Penguins 1 and 3 at her side. The sun shone through her plaited hair. She had her sleeves rolled up, and donned a floral apron. The look suited her.

“Thanks. I’ll be in touch later.” Kanba hung up the phone, flashing a smile at Himari, who happened to look his way.

“You should help too, Kan-chan! It’s fun!” Himari said, grinning back. She held up a red shovel and fertilizer.

“Guess I’d better, then.” Kanba downed the last of the tea in the glass, balled up the envelope and threw it in the trash bin, and stood up.

A smile crept onto his face. It was just like Himari to want to grow strawberries in the yard.

“I can’t even think of the last time I went digging in the dirt,” Kanba said softly.

“Probably elementary school? It’s cool, and it feels nice. We need to pull up the weeds and get this fertilizer mixed in properly,” Himari replied innocently.

Kanba rolled up his sleeves, slipped on a pair of rubber sandals from the porch, and stepped into the yard.

As he dug, Kanba’s thoughts suddenly took a strange, curious direction. How could this childlike girl digging in the dirt mean so much to him? There were plenty of women who were wiser, more stylish, more beautiful than her. He smiled at his own feelings, so mysterious and yet causing him no doubt. No matter how he might struggle, there was nothing he could do about it; these feelings were as certain as the death that would one day come for him.