Chapter 95: The Name Game

Chapter 95: Chapter 95: The Name Game

Daniel stood up.

He stretched his arms above his head. His joints popped. His muscles ached. His body was tired. But he was alive. That was what mattered.

Fluffy stood up too. She was still whimpering. She was still thinking about carrots. Her ears were drooping. Her tail was limp.

Spicy stood up last. She was nervous. Her hands were clasped. Her eyes were darting around. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to say.

Daniel looked at her.

"Alright," he said. "Let’s go."

They started walking.

The street was destroyed. The buildings were rubble. The bodies were scattered. But the path was clear. They could walk.

Daniel walked in front. His hands were in his pockets. His posture was relaxed. He looked like he was taking a stroll through a park.

Fluffy walked beside him. She was still whimpering. She was still thinking about carrots.

Spicy walked behind them. She was quiet. She was nervous. She was scared.

They walked for a few minutes. The silence was awkward. The tension was thick.

Then Daniel spoke.

"Hey," he said.

Spicy flinched. "Yes?"

"Your name. Spicy. It’s weird."

Spicy blinked. "What?"

"It’s weird. It doesn’t fit you."

Spicy frowned. "It’s my name."

"I know. But it’s weird."

"It’s not weird."

"It is. It sounds like a seasoning. Or a pepper. Or a... a spicy food."

Spicy’s eye twitched. "It’s my name."

Daniel shrugged. "I’m just saying. It’s weird."

They walked a bit more. The silence returned.

Then Daniel spoke again.

"I think I should change it."

Spicy stared at him. "What?"

"Your name. I think I should change it."

"You can’t change my name."

"I can. I’m the master now. I can do what I want."

Spicy’s mouth fell open. "That’s... that’s not how it works."

"It is now."

Fluffy looked up. Her ears perked up. "Master is changing Spicy’s name?"

"Yes."

"Can Fluffy help?"

"Sure."

Fluffy’s tail wagged. She was excited. She had forgotten about the carrots.

Daniel thought about it. He tapped his chin. He looked at Spicy. At her body. At her face.

"How about..." he started. "Big Boobs?"

Spicy’s face went red. "What?"

"Big Boobs. It’s a good name. Descriptive. Accurate."

"No!"

"No? Okay. How about Big Ass?"

Spicy’s face went redder. "NO!"

"Big Ass? It’s a classic. Everyone loves Big Ass."

"I said no!"

Daniel sighed. He thought some more.

"How about... Tits McGee?"

Spicy’s eye twitched. "Absolutely not."

"Tits McGee is a great name. It’s fun. It’s catchy."

"It’s vulgar."

"So? It’s memorable."

"I said no!"

Daniel shrugged. He thought some more.

"How about... Bootylicious?"

Spicy stared at him. Her face was a mask of disbelief.

"What?" she said.

"Bootylicious. It’s a compliment. It means you have a nice booty."

"I know what it means! And no!"

"Fine. How about... Cheeky?"

Spicy blinked. "Cheeky?"

"Yeah. Cheeky. It’s cute. It’s playful."

"It’s... not terrible."

Daniel grinned. "So Cheeky it is?"

"No! I didn’t say yes!"

"You didn’t say no."

"I’m saying no now!"

Daniel sighed. He thought some more.

"How about... Hooters?"

Spicy’s face went red again. "NO!"

"Come on. Hooters is a great name."

"It’s a restaurant!"

"Restaurant? What restaurant?"

Spicy stared at him. "You don’t know what Hooters is?"

Daniel shook his head. "No. Should I?"

Spicy opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.

"Never mind," she muttered.

Daniel shrugged. He thought some more.

"How about... Melons?"

Spicy’s eye twitched. "Melons?"

"Yeah. Melons. It’s a fruit. It’s sweet. It’s round."

"I know what melons are!"

"So? Do you like it?"

"No!"

"How about... Jugs?"

Spicy’s face went red. "NO!"

"Jugs is a classic. It’s timeless."

"It’s terrible!"

"Fine. How about... Knockers?"

Spicy covered her face with her hands. "I’m going to kill myself."

"Knockers is a good name. It’s fun. It’s bouncy."

"I hate it."

"No, you don’t."

"I do."

"You don’t."

"I do."

Daniel shrugged. He thought some more.

"How about... Baps?"

Spicy lowered her hands. Her face was red. Her eyes were wide.

"Baps?" she repeated.

"Yeah. Baps. It’s short. It’s sweet. It’s British."

"It’s terrible!"

"How about... Chesticles?"

Spicy stared at him. Her mouth was open.

"Chesticles?" she whispered.

"Yeah. Chesticles. It’s like testicles but for chest."

"That’s... that’s not a word."

"It is now."

"It’s not a word!"

"It is. I just made it up."

"You can’t just make up words!"

"I can. I’m the master. I can do what I want."

Spicy groaned. She buried her face in her hands.

Fluffy tilted her head. "Fluffy likes Chesticles. It sounds funny."

Spicy looked at her. Her eyes were desperate.

"Please don’t encourage him," she begged.

Fluffy blinked. "Fluffy is not encouraging. Fluffy is agreeing."

"That’s the same thing!"

Daniel laughed. He was enjoying himself. He was enjoying this way too much.

"How about... Fun Bags?"

Spicy’s eye twitched. "NO!"

"Fun Bags is a great name. It’s happy. It’s positive."

"It’s degrading!"

"How about... Bazongas?"

Spicy stared at him. "Bazongas?"

"Yeah. Bazongas. It’s fun to say. Ba-zon-gas."

"That’s... that’s ridiculous."

"You’re ridiculous."

"I’m not ridiculous!"

"You are. You’re an elf who tried to kill a rabbit folk and then surrendered because she patted your head."

Spicy’s face went red. "That’s... that’s different."

"It’s not."

"It is."

Daniel shrugged. He thought some more.

"How about... Honkers?"

Spicy groaned. "No."

"Boobies?"

"No."

"Tatas?"

"No."

"Jubblies?"

"No."

"Bosoms?"

"No."

"Gonzos?"

"What?"

"Gonzos. It’s a name."

"It’s not a name."

"It is now."

Spicy shook her head. She looked exhausted. She looked defeated.

"Please," she said. "Just call me Spicy."

Daniel tilted his head. "You want to keep Spicy?"

"Yes."

"But it’s weird."

"I know."

"You don’t want a better name?"

"No."

"Not even Cheeky?"

Spicy hesitated. "Cheeky was... not terrible."

Daniel grinned. "So Cheeky?"

"No!"

"Too late. You said it wasn’t terrible. That means you like it."

"I didn’t say I liked it!"

"You implied it."

"I didn’t imply anything!"

"You did. You said it wasn’t terrible. That’s an implication."

"That’s not how implications work!"

"It is now."

Spicy groaned. She looked at Fluffy. Her eyes were pleading.

"Help me," she whispered.

Fluffy tilted her head. "Fluffy likes Cheeky. It’s cute."

Spicy buried her face in her hands. She was defeated.

Daniel smiled. A wide, satisfied smile.

"Alright," he said. "Cheeky it is."

Spicy didn’t respond. She just kept her face buried in her hands.

Fluffy looked at Daniel. "Master is good at names."

Daniel nodded. "I know."

"Fluffy likes Master’s names."

"Thank you."

"Fluffy’s favorite was Chesticles."

Daniel laughed. "Mine too."

They walked a bit more. The street was getting clearer. The buildings were less destroyed. The bodies were fewer.

Then they saw it.

A crowd. A large crowd. Gathered in the plaza. People were huddled together. They were talking. They were crying. They were waiting.

Daniel stopped. He looked at the crowd.

"There," he said. "That’s where everyone is."

Cheeky looked up. She saw the crowd. Her eyes widened.

"There are so many people," she whispered.

Daniel nodded. "Yeah."

He started walking toward them. Fluffy followed. Cheeky followed.

They walked toward the crowd.

Toward the people.