Chapter 3.4

Another concern was herself; she unconsciously sighed as she looked at herself. After just over two months of cross-dressing as a man, she was becoming less like her former self—the obedient and well-regarded daughter of the Du family before her marriage! She was no longer the gentle and compliant Du Bingyan who was content with embroidery and butterflies! Of course, she had not become coarse; her upbringing had ingrained in her a refined demeanor. But her heart was changing—she dared to think, to question everything unreasonable, and even to meet a man’s gaze directly, including Yuan Buqu’s! It seemed she was crossing the boundaries of what was acceptable for a girl. In the past, she had been very self-disciplined; as long as she was content in her small world and believed others’ decisions were best for her, she wouldn’t feel discontent. Ignoring, not thinking, not listening, not asking—since women could only be confined to a small world, why think too much?

But now it was different! She had seen the sky and the earth, the vastness that men could see. Even the dullest woman would be amazed and think of things beyond embroidery. A woman with a broad vision would inevitably feel discontent, unwilling to spend her life in a confined embroidery room.

That could be considered rebellious! But she honestly admitted she had never been so happy before. Although the remaining constraints in her heart worried her, and she feared becoming coarse and hurting her parents’ feelings, no one had ever told her the world was so vast! Was the world only for men to see?

Alas! Seeing this outside world, she wasn’t sure if it was good or bad! She believed that when one day she would be locked back in the tower, she would surely think about it all the time.

Du Bingyan, dazed and holding the medicinal herbs, was about to leave the tent and head back to the pharmacy when she failed to notice Wang Hao giving Zhu Cunshan a sly glance. Unexpectedly, as she was about to step out of the tent, Wang Hao stuck out his leg and tripped her. She stumbled out of the tent, falling into the yellow sand and rolling on the ground.

Before she could react or cry out in pain, her body was roughly lifted up.

“Du Bing! You clumsy kid, can’t even walk properly! Where’s your soul gone? Look at you, covered in mud, you look awful!” Sha Pingwei shook her, laughing and scolding, one hand gripping her collar, the other patting the dust off her clothes.

Du Bingyan felt as if she was about to be beaten to death! Her knees and elbows were probably scratched, causing her a lot of pain. And to make matters worse, Sha Pingwei was adding insult to injury! From Sha Pingwei’s armpit, she could see the two boys in the tent looking pale and terrified. They knew that Sha Pingwei was her ally, and if she complained, they would be in big trouble. She frowned, deciding to let it go. After all, she never held grudges, and with military discipline so strict, a single blow from a military baton could be fatal! She might as well accept her bad luck. If Sha Pingwei kept hitting her, she might really lose half her life!

“What are you doing?”

A loud roar and the sound of rapidly approaching hooves came their way! Du Bingyan barely had time to blink before she was yanked away by brute force and slammed into a wall of flesh. Her nose hit Yuan Buqu’s chest armor, and she quickly covered her face with her hands. Oh heavens! What kind of disaster day was this? Her whole body was in pain that it almost broke her apart! But things weren’t over yet; she saw Yuan Buqu’s face contorted with rage, veins bulging, with a murderous expression.

Sha Pingwei was also stunned, looking at his superior with his hands still in the position from when he was grabbing Du Bingyan. His jaw dropped, and his mouth formed an O shape. What did he do? He was just brushing the dust off Du Bingyan! What military rule had he broken?

“I fell!” Du Bingyan pointed out the obvious fact. She saw Yuan Buqu was very angry but couldn’t figure out what he was mad about; however, she immediately realized her appearance was too embarrassing to be seen!

Sha Pingwei’s comment: “You look awful!” Oh no! She didn’t want him to see her like this! After wiping her face and getting dirt on her hands, she quietly tried to escape. In Yuan Buqu’s eyes, this looked like classic “guilty thief, evading justice.” She had no chance of escaping! But first, he needed to deal with this immediate trouble! How dare someone touch “his” woman!

“Brother Yuan, what are you angry about? It was just a fall; who upset you?” Sha Pingwei asked with a puzzled and candid expression.

Yuan Buqu narrowed his eyes, glaring at him sharply for a moment. Did Pingwei know? From his expression, it was clear he still didn’t realize Du Bingyan was a woman.

“Are you so idle that you have time to tease my servant?” His tone was harsh and unkind.

“A servant? Du Bing is a future renowned doctor! I came to protest that you’re wasting talent! He must have been too tired from work to fall. I think he’s injured, so if he’s okay, I’m going to help him with his medicine!” Sha Pingwei thought the general must be in a bad mood today and was looking for someone to vent his frustration on. He wasn’t foolish enough to stand still for it, hoping this excuse would get him out of trouble. But Yuan Buqu commanded, “Stop! I’ll look at Du Bing’s injuries myself. Since you’re so idle, go to the front lines to gather intelligence. I’ll expect news from you by evening, or help build the city walls if you’re free!”

Yuan Buqu left in large strides toward Du Bingyan’s pharmacy.

“Build—city walls? A general marshal?” Sha Pingwei, realizing the general had left, groaned. Perhaps he had inadvertently offended his superior on some day, long ago! He needed to quickly consult his wise father. He really didn’t recall doing anything wrong! Du Bingyan, take care of yourself! Sha Pingwei muttered regretfully to himself and hurried off to find his father.

After washing her face, Du Bingyan took several deep breaths to muster the courage to roll up her sleeves and examine the abrasions on her elbows. The center of her otherwise white arms was stained with blood. Though her sleeves had prevented a bloody mess, the sight was still quite unpleasant. The elbow wounds were difficult to heal, and her knees were similarly painful. She wrung out a damp white cloth and carefully wiped the blood from her hands, tears almost welling up from the pain.

“How could you be so careless!”

Yuan Buqu had silently entered the pharmacy tent, and his anger had faded. His voice was soft and hoarse, unintentionally touching a sensitive spot in her heart.

He took over the remaining work for her. After wrapping her elbows, he noticed that her knees were also bleeding and squatted down to treat them. Du Bingyan hid her legs under the tablecloth. He looked at her face and saw a flush of redness.

“This is not the time for modesty, and besides, I am your husband!” He lifted her with both his arms and the chair, pulling her away from the tablecloth, leaving her without any cover.

“You’re not! We’re not…” she murmured, not daring to look him in the eye.

“Until I decide to bring you back to exchange for Li Yuhu, you are! Do you need more proof?” He turned her face to him, his eyes turning frighteningly intense! His thumb gently caressed her lips…

“No—there’s no need! But… I can tend to my foot injury myself; I know more about medicine than you do.”

“Anyone can handle minor abrasions; your wounds are just wrapped, and any further movement will make them bleed again and leave unsightly scars. Do you want that?”

“Do you think scars are ugly? But you have many scars on you, and I don’t think—”

“Once a woman has scars, she becomes ugly! Don’t defy me. I don’t want you to have scars!”

His domineering attitude made her afraid to say anything more! When this man had a stern face, she dared not speak… At least for now, she didn’t have the courage to oppose him; besides, he really seemed to be doing it for her own good.

Seeing that she no longer resisted, he sat on the floor and removed her boots. He glanced at her delicate ankle wrapped in white socks and slowly rolled up her pants. Her snow-white, slender calves were exposed inch by inch, perfectly smooth and flawless, with not even a hint of capillaries visible. Only when he saw the bloodstains on her knees did his gaze return to focus.

“Why did you fall? Did I give you too much work?”

After finishing the bandaging, he embraced her, leaning against the headboard.

“No. But you shouldn’t ask me to do servant tasks; if you let me stay here, I’d be better off.”

“Don’t get out of bed for three days. Let the wounds scab over; when the scabs fall off, there will be no scars.”

Du Bingyan protested, “Rest for three days just for a fall? Your men are injured every day…”

“Be quiet!” He abruptly brought his face close to hers and kissed her fiercely as she gasped. This woman talked too much! Good, this gave him a chance to kiss her, something he had wanted for over ten days!

When he was finally satisfied, he pulled away just enough to keep his eyes on her flushed face.

“I am not your wife… please don’t do this again,” she whispered weakly, her heart racing with fear!

“Sleep,” he pecked her once more and then turned away, leaving with an anger she couldn’t understand.

To understand this man is not something that can be achieved overnight. She sighed. Anyway, it was Li Yuhu’s problem to worry about! The heavy sense of loss in her heart—was it jealousy? Ah… Li Yuhu, you don’t know how lucky you are…

Sansukini: She won’t be able to escape his clutches. He’s a good man. Although he just wanted offsprings that’s why he got married. But it’s different when you actually like the person you married, and Buqu wants her and nobody else. Du Bingyang, right now, is having a dilemma between the values she’s been taught growing up, and the feelings and thoughts she’s been having.

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