Chapter 3.5

She gently touched her swollen lips, beginning to feel the pain. It was a fact that couldn’t be changed—Yuan Buqu was Li Yuhu’s husband, and she was just a new bride waiting to remain a widow for the Qi family. Nothing could change that! Fate had arranged it this way. Perhaps this misplaced period was to compensate for her future endless years of solitary confinement. Thinking this way at least brought her some comfort! She could only deceive herself in this manner.

Yuan Buqu’s orders were not to be disobeyed. He really did make her stay in bed for three days. Of course, he didn’t bind her but stationed two guards at her tent door to monitor her until he returned. He remained by her side, not changing his clothes.

Heaven only knows if any rumors would spread outside! A wayward general guarding a servant who had been injured—what a ridiculous scenario! Even she found it absurd and laughable, but he… surely he must have considered that?

Today is the third day, and the wounds have scabbed over. In a day or two, the scabs should fall off, and they’re unlikely to leave scars. Today, Yuan Buqu brought her a bottle of medicine, which smelled pleasant, with hints of osmanthus and mixed with a grassy aroma.

“After the scabs fall off, use this on your wounds. The new skin will be even more beautiful,” he said.

“Then can I get up tonight? I’m so tired of lying here,” Du Bingyan said, leaning against the bedpost and taking the bottle to play with.

He stared at the wounds on her elbows for a long time before nodding. “For now, don’t do any work. You can get up and walk around.”

It was already dusk. The scorching yellow sands were beginning to be brushed by a gentle breeze, alleviating some of the daytime heat. The desert was too hot during the day and too cold at night, but at this hour, it was a bit more pleasant.

The sky and the earth were bathed in a golden hue. The barren frontier couldn’t compare with the picturesque beauty of Jiangnan, nor the vast, fertile plains of the North. Here in the northwest, it was nothing but desert. The grasslands only grew further north, while the area within a hundred miles of the military camp was all yellow sand. Only her medicine tent had a pleasant environment near the woods, where there was a precious pond.

The sunset in the desert was spectacular, with the horizon merging the sky and earth into a gray line, creating a stark contrast. The golden sand dunes on the ground complemented the sunset’s halo and the brilliant glow of the sky. It was all exposed, stretching out in all directions to the horizon! The sky looked like a large canvas splattered with mixed paint.

The desolate yet magnificent beauty made her want to cry, and the sunset was the day’s most splendid farewell.

Du Bingyan sat on a smooth large rock, her knees drawn up, her hands wrapped around her knees, staring blankly at the now cool and dazzling sun. It was so beautiful! At this moment, she deeply understood her own longing for the world.

“I wish I were a man,” she sighed wistfully.

“I wouldn’t wish that,” he said, his gaze following a solitary black eagle not far away. Its powerful wings spread across the sky, patrolling its territory, its eyes disdainfully surveying the other birds, not allowing any younger ones to show off in its presence.

Du Bingyan noticed it too and gasped.

“Such a big bird!” And fierce and dangerous. Such birds weren’t found in Jiangnan!

“That’s an eagle,” he said.

Her gaze immediately shifted to the eagle-shaped insignia on his shoulder. He was indeed the leader of the Eagle Army! She couldn’t help but compare them in her mind. After all, the real thing was more captivating. She admired it as she looked up at it. It was like him! Proud and self-assured. Her embroidery skills were excellent; perhaps she could depict the eagle’s majesty in a piece of clothing, which would suit him perfectly… Oh heavens! Where was her mind going?

“It’s leaving!” she exclaimed, trying hard to stop her wandering thoughts. The person who should make clothes for Yuan Buqu shouldn’t be her! She couldn’t think any further.

“Let’s go! Let’s chase it!” Suddenly, Yuan Buqu picked her up and headed towards his exclusive stable, feeling a sudden urge to go for a ride.

But this scared her! Oh heavens! Under everyone’s gaze! Riding with him into the sunset would ruin their reputations! Really! She believed her situation would be dreadful tomorrow and beyond!

“Yuan—General!”

She was thrown onto the horse, and before she could stabilize herself, his steed galloped like the wind towards the woods. If he hadn’t held her, she would have fallen off and met a grim fate!

He seemed very happy; his eyes no longer held their deep solemnity but sparkled with wild excitement as he urged the horse toward their goal! She gazed at his glowing face, suddenly feeling their hearts were so close! After all the masks of defense were removed, he—a renowned general—was just a lonely and passionate man.

Just as she, an aristocratic lady wrapped in the confines of etiquette for eighteen years, had, after shedding all embellishments, found herself with desires and passions, yet feeling so lonely!

Unconsciously, she leaned entirely against him, holding his chest tightly, deceiving herself that this chest was her life’s sanctuary, and she had found it!

No tomorrow, no future, no Li Yuhu—think of nothing else! Today, she was not the considerate Du Bingyan, but simply a woman longing for love!

“Look, that’s the black eagle’s nest,” Yuan Buqu said.

He reined in the horse, lifted the cloak covering her, and whispered in her ear, his breath lightly brushing her hair, his tone very gentle.

She first looked up at him in a daze, catching the tenderness in his eyes. He murmured softly, then suddenly, like a black eagle pouncing on its prey, he fiercely seized her red lips and tangled his tongue with hers!

Her breath gently flowed into his mouth as she pressed her small fists against his chest, trying to distract him from feeling her wildly racing heart.

She had always forgotten to seriously stop this power that did not belong to him—and in fact, she did not believe she could stop him. This proud man, like a solitary eagle, had an extraordinary aura. Anyone who thought they could stop or subdue him was dreaming! Such a man, even if ordered by the emperor, might say, “When a general is in the field, imperial commands are not always accepted.” If he treated the emperor this way, how could she, a mere woman with an unclear status, dare to have any delusions of instructing him?

If he did not regard her merely as a military courtesan to be frivolously used, perhaps he saw her as a wife? Or—before he could be sure if Li Yuhu could be restored in full, did he want to violate her to seek fairness?

No! No! She couldn’t think that way! If he had such thoughts, he had plenty of opportunities in the past half month. How could she handle his roughness? Even at times when he kissed her to the point of daze, he would still pull away, maintaining control. In some respects, Du Bingyan deeply believed he had a noble gentleman’s heart. And this kiss—was far from gentlemanly, but at least he had some restraint; and she—seemed to tacitly permit his intrusion.

“You can’t kiss me like this anymore—it’s not appropriate,” she murmured softly, her breath mingling with his. His lips were still close, his forehead against hers, as if he was trying to suppress something and calm his breath. But he heard her and said nothing. Unable to resist, she spoke again, “General Yuan—”

He silenced her lips—with his own.

“Call me Ziren.”

“Ziren?” She had heard Mr. Sha Shao call him that.

“It’s my courtesy name. Mr. Sha gave it to me during my coming-of-age ceremony.”

“Why?” — “Calling me ‘Buqu’ is too rigid. Rigidness is prone to break,” was Mr. Sha’s heartfelt advice and caution.

She tilted her head slightly and said softly, “Do I have the right to call you that? Even a legitimate wife would not be allowed—”

He laughed wildly, “I am inherently out of place, and what am I afraid of? My woman only needs to call me by name.”

He had a rebellious streak in him. Besides loyalty to the emperor and the country, he regarded all etiquette as worthless. Perhaps it was because he had tasted the harshness of the world? As a commoner who had risen so high, it wasn’t easy! Having seen all sorts of people and the warmth and coldness of the world, he had deep feelings. How ironic! For she was precisely a representative of all etiquette. Du Bingyan looked at him thoughtfully, and he looked at her, “You have a pair of eyes as clear as autumn water, and these eyes tell me you come from a noble background, reflecting my own coarseness. Even though today I am the head of the military, I cannot hide my innate roughness, unlike some scholars who pretend to be refined but cannot enter the great halls of elegance. I laugh off their criticisms, but seeing you, I cannot help but believe that their sour criticisms do point out some truths.”

She couldn’t help but laugh! It seemed he had a poor opinion of those literati! His descriptions were vivid, and those lowly adjectives had a certain force when he spoke them. Oh! How could he look down on himself like this? He was such a proud man! Born to command the battlefield, why should he compare himself with those who only criticize and do nothing? Scholars have their own grace, and warriors have their own might; the two cannot be compared! If she were to say, scholars lack the bold spirit of men. And he was the best, the finest man she had ever seen!

He was captivated by her stunning smile, holding her cheeks with both hands, and said softly, “Call me by my name—”

“Ziren,” she murmured shyly, realizing this meant their feelings had become even more entangled.

Yuan Buqu kissed her contentedly and pulled off her headscarf; her once neatly tied black hair fell like a dark curtain, touched by the sunset’s brilliance, with flecks of gold that seemed like gold dust. He buried himself in her hair, “Bing’er, you beautiful little thing…”

Du Bingyan only nestled her face against his neck, her clear eyes watching the sunset glow behind him gradually losing its brilliance as the night quietly approached. A conflicted heart still could not make sense of their future—did they have one?

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