Chapter 52

Translator: Willia

It occurred to Valery now that loneliness was not an emotion, but a kind of pain.

If it were merely an emotion, he should have been able to manage it on his own. The fact that he could not suggested otherwise.

Loneliness, then, was not something to be soothed until it was forgotten. It was something that needed to be healed.

To heal a wound, one applied the proper medicine, ate fresh food, and got plenty of rest. Then what could heal loneliness?

He did not need to think deeply about it to know the obvious answer: the love of family and the friendship of friends.

But a prince, a king, could have no friends. No more than summer and winter could exist at the same time.

And those of House Vǫlsungr were not even permitted family.

The loneliness and sense of loss he had carried since birth had eaten away at Valery's heart. Still, they no longer turned into anger.

Once, when faced with the question of why he should go on living, he had answered by ending his own life.

But now, as he had often told his friends, he was searching for a different answer.

That was why he could not remain here for long and bring harm to others. Once it became known that he was a prince, most people would bow their heads and obey, but some would not.

To be a prince meant being someone who was to be revered, but at the same time, someone who had to be eliminated.

Valery did not care if he alone was placed in danger. But his enemies would use every means at their disposal, so misfortune would inevitably befall those around him.

So Valery decided to leave quietly.

Deep in the night, in a dark room lit only by the quiet glow of a single candle on the table, Valery picked up his pen.

Then he began writing farewell letters to his friends. To my dear friends......

<......Arne, I believe your honesty is a truly rare virtue. Grinnen has stabilized, but wherever many people live, conflicts large and small are only natural. I am certain that if you use your honesty to set those things right, you will become a light to many people. I leave the mercenary company's building to you, and I think it would be best if you took over as its captain......>

<......Skard, I know you probably do not care. Even so, there is one small burden on my heart, and I hope you will forgive me for trying to lighten it this way. I am sorry for insulting your parents before. Never again in my life will I insult someone's parents, so please accept this as my sincere repentance and atonement......>

Valery also wrote down the things he wanted to say personally to Knut and Yorik.

After filling several sheets of paper, he was about to sign the letters when he hesitated. But a moment later, he wrote his name.

Vǫlsungar Valery Helgisson.

He folded the letters, slipped them into envelopes, and dripped red sealing wax over them. He had nothing suitable to use as a seal, so he simply pressed the Valknutr cloak clasp, the symbol of the Einheri, into the wax. It was too large, so only part of the design was imprinted.

Valery set down his pen and thought for a moment, then left a letter for House Winsloe as well. In it, he wrote that he was grateful to the Count, the Countess, and Harold.

Once again, he melted red wax onto the envelope and pressed the cloak clasp into it.

Was that everything? Had he forgotten anything? Hmm. There was still some regret left.

Valery lingered over that small handful of regret for a moment before rising from his seat.

He put on the navy-blue gambeson Sybil had made for him, along with his leather belt, leather gloves, boots, the Dwarven Steel sword Und, Torvald's Axe, and several multipurpose daggers.

He rolled up travel rations, a waterskin, several pieces of firewood, flint, and some travel money in a blanket and tied the bundle securely.

Lastly, before leaving the room, he blew out the candle. A darkness in which nothing could be seen settled over the room.

Valery was not using any particular stealth technique, yet his footsteps made no sound.

When he left the castle, the night was pitch-black beneath the new moon. But Valery descended the hill without hesitation as though he could see everything around him clearly, then headed straight for the stables.

He fitted Snow with his tack, loaded his traveling gear, packed plenty of feed as well, and led him outside.

The castle gate was shut and the drawbridge raised, but Valery approached the Guard and said,

“I have somewhere to go, so open the gate.”

The dozing guard on duty jolted awake. He looked Valery up and down, then started in surprise and hurried to open the gate.

It made a little noise, but not enough to wake anyone from a deep sleep.

The gate opened and the drawbridge came down. Valery immediately mounted Snow. For the time being, he rode slowly, following the river around the outskirts of the city.

After riding for quite some time, he reached the western gate and once again ordered it opened. There were guards on duty there as well, but what could they say when a prince told them to open the gate? It opened, and at last Valery left the city of Torvik behind.

Once he was outside the city, even the scent of the wind seemed different. Fresher, perhaps. There was not much wind at this hour of the night.

He raised his head and looked at the sky. With no moon to wash them out, countless stars glittered as though they filled the entire night sky. A long band of the Milky Way stretched diagonally downward, seeming to plunge into the horizon.

Travelers still asked the stars to show them the way, or so he had heard, but Valery saw no need to ask.

After taking in the sight for a moment, he continued along the dark road. Clip-clop, clip-clop. Only the sound of hoofbeats could be heard. It felt as though the whole world was asleep.

He had no idea how far he had gone when he spotted the glow of a torch in the distance near a fork in the road.

Part of him wondered who would be outside the city at this hour, while another part wondered if they might be criminals.

He rode forward slowly, keeping somewhat on guard, only to find two unexpected people waiting there. One was mounted on a horse, while the other stood beside it holding the reins.

They were Knut and Yorik.

“Knew you'd do this.”

Knut spoke as he looked at Valery.

The moment Valery recognized them, his chest tightened with emotion so strongly that his heart almost ached. At the same time, he was bewildered.

“How did you know?”

“It was written all over your face. I'm joking. You always try to shoulder everything by yourself, so I figured you'd do something like this. I don't know much about it, but being a prince can't be all good, can it? It's probably dangerous in its own way, and the people around you might end up in danger because of it too. I figured you'd take all of that into account before acting. And there's no reason for you to go any farther north from here, so I thought you'd head south.”

Whether being around Valery had made him this way or he had always been like this, Knut had an unusual talent for deduction.

Valery wondered whether he had really been that obvious, but at the same time, the feeling of having been understood made his heart tingle.

“Travel is several times harder without someone to attend to you, Your Highness. I can't fight, but I can make sure you and the Young Master conserve your strength. I learned that after going through a war. When it comes to fighting, conserving your stamina is more important than technique.”

“......”

Valery silently looked at the two of them for a moment, then let out a slightly incredulous chuckle. Yet his heart felt full, brimming with an inexplicable happiness, like the stars filling the night sky above them.

“......And how do you know where I'm going?”

“Wherever you go, it'll still be somewhere people live.”

“I haven't finished writing the legend in my journal yet, Your Highness.”

Whenever Knut spoke, Yorik invariably followed right after. The way he did it was so out of the blue that it was rather funny.

“By the way...... I'm going to call you Valery. Got a problem with that?”

Knut spoke with a mischievous smile. He seemed to be imitating something Valery had said when they first met.

Valery smiled mischievously in return.

“What are you going to do if I do?”

“I don't know. Should I get off my horse and bow my head right now?”

“Wait a moment.”

Yorik spoke. Valery and Knut both turned toward him. A commoner had dared interrupt a conversation between a prince and a Young Lord. Naturally, neither Valery nor Knut cared in the slightest.

“Then...... does that mean you two are cousins?”

Knut's mother had been a Princess. She was the previous king's daughter, which made her Valery's paternal aunt. So yes, they were cousins.

“Huh? I guess we are.”

Apparently Knut had never thought about it that way, judging by the way he reacted as though the realization had only just struck him. He did not seem to think much of it, though.

“No wonder. I thought there was something strangely similar about you two.”

“In what way?”

“Maybe you're both a little cold? You both give off this feeling like you're looking down on people.”

At how freely Yorik said whatever came to mind, Valery and Knut burst out laughing at the same time and looked at each other.

“If I really looked down on people, you wouldn't even be able to talk to me like this.”

“Exactly. That's what makes it strange. That's another way you're alike too. More precisely, you don't even treat people who fall outside your standards as human, but once someone meets those standards, you treat them well.”

It was a surprisingly accurate analysis.

“I can't even argue with that. Somehow, it gets under my skin a little too.”

“And what are those standards?”

Valery asked.

“Well, maybe people who are genuinely trying to live their lives? Whether it's someone living in the gutter like me, a good man, or a bad man, you seem to treat people well as long as they're truly trying to live. But you look at liars like they're insects.”

“You've been watching us so closely it's kind of creepy.”

“That's how someone like me survives.”

“Didn't you have some maid you were seeing, by the way?”

“When a real man sets out upon the great road, how could he let a woman hold him back?”

“What are you even talking about......”

“You're getting better and better with words. Nothing stops you anymore. Nothing.”

“That's kind of scary. Anyway, let's get going.”

“Where are we going?”

“South.”

“Where in the south?”

“The Royal Capital, Valdene. More precisely, a place nearby called Lingestrae.”

It was the place Count Aethelred had once told him about, where he said he had received Valery from the Rune Mage Sigrún. For now, that single clue was all Valery had to rely on as he set out to find his mother.

“Valdene's really far. How long will it take?”

“If the road's as free of obstacles as Yorik's tongue, about a week? Otherwise, it could take a month. Maybe even longer.”

It was a journey from nearly the northernmost end of the kingdom to the southernmost. And unexpected things were bound to happen on any journey.

More importantly, traveling during winter would be difficult. Taking that time into account, the journey might take half a year, perhaps even a full year.

Valery turned Snow toward the road on the left, heading south. Naturally, Knut and Yorik went with him.

“Why Valdene, of all places, Your Highness?”

Yorik asked as he walked beside Knut's horse holding the reins, looking up at Valery. The torchlight made Valery's hair appear red.

“To find my mother. I heard she's somewhere around there.”

“Hmm...... I don't know about that.”

“Why?”

“Sometimes I think there are parents who are worse than having no parents at all. As far as I can tell, Your Highness, you're already perfect as you are.”

“Your insolence is even more impressive than Wid's, no, Valery's swordsmanship.”

Knut said it without really reprimanding him, but it was remarkable how Yorik could casually say things that occasionally left one aghast.

Of course, Valery did not mind. In fact, that was precisely why he could call Yorik a friend despite the difference in their stations. Valery was someone capable of seeing Yorik's true worth, the light within him.

“Thanks. I understand what you mean, but I can't move on until I've seen for myself. Even if I get hurt.”

From his bloodline to his birth to his fate, everything about Valery was covered in wounds. Resentment and vengeance ran through his veins, while loneliness and loss filled his heart.

But what about now? Like a weed that survived no matter how many times it was bent and trampled, even the smallest amount of warmth and moisture gave him enough strength not to be ruled by anger.

Just as the stars shone brighter on the darkest nights, there was nothing to fear about walking a midnight road as long as he had friends beside him.

The pain called loneliness and even the deepest wounds might leave scars, but one day, they too would heal.

“By the way, what happens to Arne and Skard? I feel kind of bad.”

Knut spoke. They could have come along too if they had wanted, but honestly, the thought had never occurred. There had been a certain thoughtlessness to it.

Perhaps because it was nighttime, the memory of Arne taking his own life before regression briefly crossed Valery's mind. Perhaps having this new city would be something like a gift for him. Valery hoped so.

“I left a letter. I told Arne to run the mercenary company. It shouldn't be too difficult if he manages it with Skard. He's capable, and he has the character for it. What was the name of that man from the Gem Guild again? Anyway, they could probably cooperate with him too......”

“Since things have turned out this way, can I badmouth them a little?”

Yorik asked.

“Out of nowhere?”

“You know that Arne fellow? I think he's a bit too inflexible. He keeps nitpicking the strangest things. I mean, Your Highness and the Young Master aren't even saying anything, so why does he have to keep butting in? And Skard is ignorant but doesn't even try to learn. If I'm going to deal with an ignorant man anyway, I was thinking Young Lord Gunnar, no, His Excellency, might actually be the better choice.”

Valery and Knut were so dumbfounded that they burst out laughing.

“Wow. Yorik, you're seriously the scariest one here. If I'm ever not around, you'll badmouth me too, won't you?”

“Well...... just remember that I'm the one holding the pen. Whatever I write might remain for generations.”

He was talking about the journal he kept.

“That really is chilling.”

“Let me see your journal sometime.”

“Absolutely not. No matter how important you are, you can't go reading someone else's diary.”

“Is there some royal decree that says so?”

“No, but that's just how it is. A diary has to be yours alone for it to be a diary.”

“That's true.”

The three of them never ran out of things to say.

Had Valery been alone, the road through the depths of night would have been unbearably lonely. But with the three of them talking, there was no time to feel lonely at all.

Their conversation had no particular subject or meaning. It simply flowed wherever it pleased, yet there seemed to be no more fitting cure.

*****

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