Chapter 34: For Him, She Lied for the First Time

Did he like Jiang Xin?

For the first time, Chen Ye felt stumped by a question.

If asked whether he liked Su Siyun, he could answer without hesitation: "I used to love her."

But was that truly love?

He hadn't understood it in the past, but after marrying and divorcing Su Siyun in his previous life, he saw things much more clearly. His feelings for Su Siyun in his youth shouldn't be called "love" or "like." Rather, it was more akin to "envy"—or perhaps even "blasphemy."

He was a child of the soil. His parents had died unexpectedly when he was in middle school, and ever since then, he had always felt inferior to others, like a wandering ghost drifting through the world. This sense of loneliness and inferiority would only grow stronger whenever he saw the harmony of day students being picked up by their parents, or when his roommates took fifty cents to call their moms and dads from a public payphone.

So, he poured his heart and soul into his studies. It was the main reason he had managed to test out of his small-town middle school and get into Luzhou Sixth Middle School. Then, on the day class assignments were announced at the start of his freshman year in high school, Su Siyun and Jiang Xin appeared before him. One became his desk-mate; the other sat right in front of him.

But back then, Jiang Xin had been just as withdrawn as he was. Aside from simple exchanges with him and Su Siyun, she basically didn't socialize with anyone. As for him, he had no social life outside of Jiang Xin. Every day, he either faced the blackboard and his teachers, stared at Su Siyun's ever-changing hair clips in different colors and styles, or basked in the constant warmth and kindness radiating from the girl beside him.

It wasn't until half a year later that their homeroom teacher realized a loner like him shouldn't sit next to a loner like Jiang Xin. As a result, Weng Jilin was moved to sit beside him, and they remained desk-mates for two and a half years.

Chen Ye had thought about it carefully after his divorce. He hadn't necessarily fallen in love with Su Siyun herself. Rather, he had fallen for the bright splash of color on her black, satin-like ponytail; the luminous brilliance that outshone everyone else; the inherent nobility she carried. It was a yearning for a lofty, untouchable, and perfect creation.

Therefore, once Su Siyun became his wife, the hazy veil covering all these illusions was lifted. They say that even the physical presence of one's first love can never compare to the idealized version in one's heart—this was exactly what it meant.

But what about Jiang Xin? Did he like Jiang Xin?

From his rebirth until now, he hadn't considered this question. That night, it was merely a spur-of-the-moment decision to give the gift to her.

Searching his heart at this moment, Chen Ye could only come up with two somewhat convincing reasons. Compared to Su Siyun, Jiang Xin's personality was indeed more relatable to the masses and closer to the ideal realm of truth, goodness, and beauty that people pursued. She would even be easier to woo. He just needed to guide her out of her shell, much like how she had healed him in the past.

Furthermore, Jiang Xin's looks and figure were in no way inferior to Su Siyun's. Even if he used lust at first sight as an excuse, it was completely justified. His body would help him make the choice.

Whether he liked her or not... perhaps it wasn't that important. Feelings could be nurtured, but being a kept man was the ultimate key! Obviously, being kept by Jiang Xin would be much easier than being kept by Su Siyun—and perhaps far sweeter.

Smiling, he shook his head, then nodded. Under his younger cousin's bewildered gaze, Chen Ye chuckled. "I don't know, and you're not allowed to spout nonsense either."

"Tch! You definitely like her!" the little girl teased with a quirky expression, her mouth stuffed with food.

But in the next second, a slightly flattering smile resurfaced on her face. "Be a good brother and take me out with you! Ask that pretty lady if I can tag along as a third wheel!"

"I'll ask." Chen Ye nodded nonchalantly, then pulled out his phone and drafted a text message to Jiang Xin.

Meanwhile, Jiang Xin had managed to calm down for the time being. She sat upright across from Su Siyun, taking small bites of her spaghetti. Her head was lowered, her eyes glued to the pasta, while Su Siyun occasionally glanced at her and then at the phone resting on the table beside her.

Su Siyun wanted to ask who had called. She wanted to ask what exactly Jiang Xin thought of Chen Ye. During their last heart-to-heart, Jiang Xin hadn't said a single word. Yet, just as she was mulling over these thoughts, the phone lying face-down on the dining table suddenly vibrated.

Su Siyun's gaze was instantly drawn to it, and the hand Jiang Xin used to hold her fork involuntarily trembled, hovering in mid-air. Still keeping her head lowered, she braved Su Siyun's interrogating stare and picked up her phone for a look.

It was... Why was Chen Ye still texting her?! He couldn't have arrived already, could he?! Su Siyun was still in the house! Panic flared in her heart. Jiang Xin put down her fork and hastily opened the message, though she froze in surprise upon seeing its contents.

[I have a twelve-year-old cousin who wants to come over and meet you. Is that convenient for you?]

His younger cousin? Meet her? What was the meaning of this? Was she coming to meet her future sister-in-law?! At that thought, despite Su Siyun sitting right across from her, a dusting of pink instantly swept across Jiang Xin's cheeks. This couldn't go on. She had to refuse right now!

But just as she was trying to figure out how to reject him, another text came through.

[I told her that not only are your grades better than mine, but you also have a great personality and are very pretty. The little girl happens to want out of the house, so she's clamoring for me to bring her to play with you.]

Jiang Xin automatically ignored the second half of the message; her eyes only caught the first half.

"Grades better than mine," "great personality," "very pretty."

How could Chen Ye describe her like that to his cousin!

The pink flush on her cheeks deepened, gradually turning into a flushed crimson. Even though her black pepper beef spaghetti wasn't paired with red wine, Jiang Xin felt slightly dizzy.

She began to hesitate. Even if she could harden her heart and reject Chen Ye, what about his little cousin? The young girl found an excuse for herself, reasoning that it would be rude to refuse such enthusiasm. As for whose enthusiasm it was, she couldn't even figure it out herself.

"Whose text is it? It's making you stop eating," Su Siyun asked curiously as she twirled her pasta.

Hearing this, Jiang Xin immediately raised her head, but her finger accidentally brushed the screen over the send button. The word [Sure] that she had just typed into the reply box was instantly sent out.

However, Jiang Xin remained blissfully unaware. She placed the phone face-down again, grabbed a notepad beside her, wrote a line, and pushed it in front of Su Siyun.

[It's just a message from a classmate.]

"The one who just called?" Su Siyun looked up, her gaze filled with suspicion. "It wouldn't be Chen Ye, would it?"

She had always been outspoken.

Jiang Xin immediately panicked upon having her secret guessed right off the bat. She deeply dreaded a repeat of that afternoon's scene, where Chen Ye and Su Siyun were at each other's throats while she was caught in the middle, torn and awkward.

So, without quite knowing why, Jiang Xin's mind went blank in a moment of panic. She picked up her pen and wrote a single word on the notepad.

[No.]

As she wrote that word, she felt her heartbeat quicken. Her hand gripping the pen trembled slightly under the tension, making her handwriting less fluid than usual.

This was her first time deceiving someone.

For Chen Ye, she had told a lie.