Chapter 10: The Bad Luck Band

Chapter 10:
The Bad Luck Band

 

WE SET TO WORK right away. The plan was simple enough: scope out the asteroid belt, corner any pirates we found, and take them out. By lowering our generator output, we could hide near mining ships and wait in ambush whenever a pirate came sniffing around.

As soon as we got started, we found success. We were taking out ten ships a day, scooping up their cargo in the process. The bounties ranged from 10,000 to 30,000 Ener. We even found a pirate hauling around Rare Metal once. Score! In total, our first week earned us 1,780,000 Ener. That included loot, gear, and all those juicy bounties. Mimi still got her standard 0.5 percent, for a total of 12,800 Ener (including her take from our earlier mission). Elma’s share was 3 percent or 53,400 Ener. As for me? I ended up with about 2,000,000 Ener, more than enough to keep us secure and provide a nice safety net for our finances.

“Big money today, everyone! Cheers!” Elma cried. She was positively giddy as she raised her booze in a toast. She chugged it down in a single gulp. I couldn’t help watching the way her throat bobbed as she swallowed. They called this particular drink “beer,” but with no carbonation it felt more like ale to me.

“Yeah, yeah. Cheers.” Personally, I’d passed on the beer. Ale. Whatever it was. I drank chilled tea instead. I could have indulged, but I’d pass out pretty quick. Never was much of a drinker.

“Wow, Hiro. What’s wrong? You a little baaaby?” Elma teased.

“Shut up!” I said. “I can’t help my genetics. Drinking doesn’t make you an adult, anyway.”

Elma wrapped her arm around my shoulder and snuggled in close. Seemed she was the annoying kind of drunk, excitable and touchy.

“You seem to be enjoying yourself, Elma,” Mimi said.

“I am! I feel like I’m on top of the world!”

“Don’t be like her,” I said.

“Okay.” Mimi eyed the bottle, but I warned her away from it. This system didn’t place age restrictions on alcohol consumption, but I knew it wasn’t good for young people and Mimi was still young. Er, wait. Am I a monster for being with her? Well…we had both consented. When I looked it up, I found that the law in this universe was consent and a minimum age of fifteen. So legally at least I was in the clear.

“You’re pretty darn good at this, buddy,” Elma said. “The ship’s great and all, but you really know how to fly it. You’re a pro at setting up those ambushes, too.”

“I guess my muscles remember, even if my mind doesn’t,” I said. “I’m not really sure how, but I seem to have good reflexes and battle sense.”

“Hmm… Are you hiding something from us?” Elma said.

“Not at all,” I said, deadpan, as Elma’s eyes bored into me. I couldn’t give up my secrets right now. Telling them I was from another universe and that this one was all a video game to me wouldn’t help any of us. In fact, at this point I was beginning to wonder if this really was the universe of Stella Online, or if it was somewhere entirely different. I recognized ships, goods, and other details from the game, but stuff like the star systems and galactic empires were brand new to me. I simply didn’t have enough information right now to say for sure.

That wasn’t the only conversation I was delaying, though. Elma and Mimi got along strangely well. I wasn’t ready to bring up their relationship yet.

“Ah, fine,” Elma said. “We’ve all got our secrets. Right, Mimi?”

“Hm? Not me,” Mimi responded.

“Wow, really? How about your weight—”

“Aaaah! Stop, stop, don’t say it!” Mimi shouted, flustered, and Elma laughed.

Her weight, eh? I just figured all her body fat gathered in her breasts, instead of her stomach. Those melons had to add some weight to her petite frame.

“Mimi,” I said.

“Yes?”

“Trust the trainer. Absolutely avoid any unnecessary weight loss.”

“Okay…” Mimi blushed and covered her red face with both hands. Honestly, I feared she was getting too skinny. Maybe I ought to re-calibrate the training room’s AI in secret? Hmm…

“Oh!” I said, “By the way, about tomorrow…”

“Tomorrow?” Mimi said.

“Yeah, about tomorrow, I was thinking we ought to take the day off and go shopping together. Gotta take a breather sometimes.”

“A…breather?” Mimi cocked her head at the colloquialism.

“Yeah. We’ll get tired of hunting pirates if we just go around making money but never enjoying it. Let’s grab some good food and drinks, buy some personal things, and maybe get some clothes or accessories. There are plenty of worthwhile ways to spend our cash.”

“Sounds to me like you just wanna slack off.” Elma teased, but she was right.

“That’s totally part of it,” I admitted. “Overwork can lead to mistakes that you won’t notice until it’s too late. Besides, I’d like Mimi to experience using her own hard-earned money for stuff she wants.”

“Oh, I getcha. Yeah, that’s important.” Elma suddenly turned serious. Even flushed from the ale, she abruptly shed some of her drunkenness.

“Umm, I…” Mimi squirmed.

I could understand her discomfort. She’d been handed 17,100 Ener, or 1,710,000 yen. That was a big paycheck at her age.

“All I’m doing is sitting in the operator’s seat,” she said. “This is too much…”

“I know you’re still learning, but you’re part of the crew,” I said. “You risk your life the same as me and Elma. That’s a fair reward, I promise.”

“He’s right,” Elma said. “You don’t have to be modest, especially since that pay includes your services to him.”

“I mean, if you don’t like doing it—” I said.

“Nobody said that!” Mimi said.

“It’s not true at all!” Elma said.

Elma and Mimi shouted their objections over each other. Mimi blushed with her eyes fixed on me, while Elma looked away entirely, her ears going red to the tips.

“Master Hiro, I love you from the bottom of my heart,” Mimi said. “I mean it. You are everything to me, and I would offer every last bit of myself to you.” Mimi leaned over the table as she spoke, just like a heartfelt, dramatic love confession from a movie or novel. And it was for me. Was I dreaming?

“Uhhh…I-I wouldn’t go that far, but you did save me,” Elma said. “If not for you, I’d be in awful trouble right now, so I-I kinda owe you. Um…I’m grateful to you. Not that I don’t think you’re a good guy. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t do all that stuff with you, regardless of whether you saved me or not…dummy.” Part of me had feared they’d been with me only out of duty, like they had to pay me back that way. Their confessions lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

“H-hey, why are you crying?” Elma said.

“M-master Hiro?” Mimi said.

“Gah, sorry,” I said, swiping at the tears on my cheeks. “I’m just really glad that’s how you both feel. Honestly, I…I was a little worried.”

“Worried? Why?” Mimi said.

“Pssh, stupid. What girl wouldn’t be won over by a prince in shining armor who saved her life?” Elma chuckled and kissed me on the cheek. “Without you, I’d be stuck in prison. You kept me out of that hell hole, so you’re my prince. Don’t worry about it, ’kay?”

“M-me too, Master Hiro! If you didn’t save my life, who knows what would’ve happened? You’re my hero. My Hiro!” Mimi stepped around the table to wrap me up in a hug. Alcohol soured her breath. Wait, had she had some by mistake?

“Mimi, let’s show our prince here how we feel about him,” Elma said.

“O-okay! I’ll do my best!” Mimi said.

They each grabbed me by the shirt and dragged me up. I let them pull me along gladly.

 

***

 

When the sun rose the following day, we were all cuddled up together in my bed.

“So, how about that shopping?” Elma proposed immediately.

“Yay!” Mimi chimed in.

“How are you two so energetic?” After spending the whole night having fun, I couldn’t believe they weren’t at least a little worn out, but both Elma and Mimi were bursting with energy. Are they literally sucking the life out of me?

“Master Hiro?” Mimi cocked her head.

“Er, nothing. Sorry. Let’s go.”

“Okay!”

We rolled out of bed. After we’d washed and dressed, Mimi pulled me along through the hangar bay toward the high-speed elevator. We leaned against the glass of the elevator, watching space drift by as the familiar sights of the Third Division rose to greet us.

“Mimi, are you scared at all?” I asked.

“I’m okay! I have you and Elma, along with this laser gun.” She patted the laser on her hip with a smile. I really hoped she’d never have to use it. Maybe I ought to have Elma teach her martial arts?

“So, do we have anywhere we wanna go?” Elma said.

“Nope,” I said. “This all happened on a whim. Is there anywhere you particularly want to go? You were looking up the shops around here before, right, Mimi?”

“Oh, yes! I was.” Mimi took out her terminal and tapped through it. “The most interesting places are mercenary gadget shops. It looks like they sell stuff you can use inside the ship. There are also firearms dealers and import shops.”

“The gadget shops sound neat. But why the firearms dealers?”

“I want to be able to protect myself when things get rough so I won’t hold you back. I know I don’t have any combat training like you two, but they might have something even I can use.”

Wow, she really thought about this. “Combat training” was probably a stretch for me. Piloting wasn’t the same as hand-to-hand combat with some criminal in an alley. Mimi didn’t realize it, but I could use some extra self-defense myself.

“I’ve been to one of those import shops,” Elma said. “They’ve got some obscure foods that most grocery stores don’t carry—and booze, which grocers don’t stock. It’s kinda fun!”

“Oh, that sounds great,” I said. “Let’s go there. I’m interested in the firearms dealer, too, so let’s add that to the list. Where should we start?”

“The gadget shop is the closest,” Mimi said.

“Sounds like a good place to start.”

Mimi led the way, watching the map on her terminal as she guided us through the Third Division. Much of the Third Division was dangerous, but the galactic police had set up shop in the area near the elevators and the gate to the Second Division, so those places were quite a bit safer. Good ol’ Oishii Mart stood roughly on the border between “not too bad” and “better watch your back.”

“This seems to be it,” Mimi said as we stepped up to a remarkably ordinary building.

“That one right there?” I looked for something off, but the glass front display merely showed mannequins in anti-g-force suits. Not entirely “normal” but not as weird as I expected.

“Come in!” the shopkeeper called as we entered. He sat behind a counter, looking more like a bodyguard than a cashier. The shop itself wasn’t all that big, about the size of a convenience store perhaps, but surveillance cameras were mounted on the walls, constantly watching for attempts at shoplifting.

“Brought your girlies, huh?” the shopkeeper said.

“Are they not allowed in?” I said.

“Nah, that’s not it. Not so much the little one, but you two look like some real seasoned mercenaries.”

“Oh yeah, how d’ya figure that?”

“It’s experience, my man,” he said. “Anyway, we’ve got a wide selection, so take your time and have a look. If you need any help, let me know.” He waved dismissively and returned to whatever was on his tablet. I found it kind of rude, but maybe this was ordinary outside of Japan. Maybe I was the weird one for striking up a conversation right away.

“Y’know, there’s a lot of stuff here that I just…cannot identify,” I said.

I picked up a weird can, turning it over in my hands. It only cost 3 Ener. Get that cockpit smelling fresh! You’ll never smell like cigarettes again! Air freshener, seriously? Strips of double-sided tape were affixed to the underside of the can so it could be attached to a dashboard. Some things never change, huh?

“Master Hiro, could we find any use for these anti-g-force suits?” Mimi asked.

“Nah. The Krishna’s cockpit is constructed to cancel out some of the g-force from acceleration and quick rotation, so we don’t need them. You haven’t felt any g-force worth fainting over yet, have you?”

“That is true, but…I thought they looked rather stylish.” Disappointment sobered some of her excitement. I had to admit, the design was pretty cool, but our life support systems were more than up to the task of handling g-force. Sorry, but we simply don’t need them.

“This is neat, isn’t it?” Elma headed over carrying some sort of techno-looking ball. I had no idea how it could possibly be useful.

“What is it?” I said.

“It’s a gravity sphere. They’re really convenient.” Lifting the sphere in front of her, she pressed a button and the ball whirred with waking machinery.

“What happens next?” I said.

“Then you do this.” She pulled a straw out of the sphere. Placing the straw between her lips, Elma released the sphere. It kept floating in front of her, not held up by anything. A neat trick and all, but I didn’t really get what the practical use was.

“Okay, I have no idea what’s going on,” I said. “I’ve never seen one of these before.”

“You put a drink in it and then you can drink any time during battle. And look!” Elma did a quick twirl in place. The gravity sphere followed her.

“So it’s a bottle that stays in midair?” I said.

“Yep!” she said. “Press the Stay button and it floats in place for three seconds before following the closest object. These babies can withstand high g-forces with no issue. It’ll never spill, and it automatically keeps your drink at the perfect temperature.”

“So this is what people mean when they say modern technology is a waste of money. But, er, I guess it’s convenient.” I poked the gravity sphere as it hovered near Elma’s shoulder. It recoiled quite a bit but wobbled right back into place. What a strange little device. “It must be expensive, right?”

“They’re 500 Ener each.”

“That’s…not bad.” Five hundred Ener was 50,000 yen in Japan, a pretty outrageous price for what amounted to a super fancy water bottle. Maybe if you accounted for the technology inside that thing it was a steal in this universe. I wasn’t sure, but either way 500 Ener was barely pocket change to me.

“It is convenient,” I agreed. “Maybe I’ll get one.”

“I will, too.”

“Let’s just call it equipment for the ship. How about we pick up six for all of us to share?” I said.

“Really? I’ll take you up on that.” Elma smiled sweetly. Urk! That smile of hers was devastating. I looked away, bashful, and heard her giggle as she headed to the counter.

Nothing else really caught my eye. The shop carried plenty of strange, interesting things, but none we particularly needed. We paid up front at the counter and sent the order to the ship before moving on to the next shop.

“Next up is the firearms dealer,” Mimi said.

“Firearms, eh?” I said. “For some reason, even just the word gets me excited.”

“Boys will be boys.” Elma shook her head.

It turned out the firearms dealer was right next to the gadget shop.

“It’s a little…loud,” I said.

“I mean, it’s a gun shop,” Elma said. Iron bars protected the front display windows of the shop. Even the door looked heavy and guarded. It opened automatically with a heavy groaning noise.

“Aww, yeah. This is the good stuff,” I said.

The guns instantly caught my eye. The store also carried custom parts, interchangeable energy packs, and holsters for every size and shape of weapon. An old man with sharp eyes watched us ogle the wares from the counter.

“Kid, we sell weapons here,” he said. “Stuff that kills people. You don’t bring your little girlies in here on a date.”

“Don’t worry about us,” I said. “We’ll be quiet.”

“Hmph.” The guy went back to disassembling the gun on his counter, but he didn’t put up any further protest. None of the shopkeepers around here seem very interested in customer service…

“Do you have combat equipment?” Elma asked me.

“A little. It’s not stuff I use much, though, so I stashed it in the cargo hold.”

“Hmm. Well, mercs don’t fight much in person.”

“All the more reason to have a backup plan.” I hefted a laser rifle off its display. What in the world was this thing made of? It almost felt light enough to break the first time you fired it. How had they managed that?

Meanwhile, Mimi examined the handgun lasers. She tried out a few, just feeling their weight and grips in her hands.

“You don’t wanna look around?” Elma asked.

“Nah, I’ve already got this bad boy.” I patted the laser at my hip.

“I’ve never seen a design like that. Who made it?”

“Oh, uh, sorry, I don’t really remember. Y’know, memory loss.” Yikes! I couldn’t exactly tell her I’d won it in an in-game tournament from Stella Online.

“Ooh, yeah. Sorry. Does it need maintenance?” Elma said.

“I don’t remember ever tinkering with it.”

“Jeez, buddy. How about we ask the shopkeeper just to be safe?”

“Good idea.”

The shopkeeper looked up when we approached, those sharp eyes narrowing. I don’t like that glint in your eye, my guy!

“Whaddya want?” he asked curtly.

“Um, well, I don’t know how to perform maintenance on my gun. Could I possibly get you to teach me?” I placed the gun—still in its holster—on the counter before him.

The man glowered but eased the gun out of its holster. Instantly, his eyes flew wide. “Th-this is from Mandas Corp! And it’s the Gunslinger Champion’s model!” He nearly knocked over his chair as he jumped to his feet. Was this guy okay? He trembled, seeming on the verge of collapse. “Kid…I mean, buddy, can you shoot this?!”

“Huh? Uh, yeah. Is that a problem?” I’d fired it to save Mimi. Both she and Elma had witnessed it.

“Well, I suppose that means you’re the rightful owner, after all.” He sat back down with a heavy sigh, closing his eyes as though the whole ordeal had exhausted him infinitely.

“Hey, Elma? Why’s he so surprised?” I said.

“I dunno,” she said. “Mandas Corp only makes one-off, super-high-quality weapons. Is that really a Mandas gun?”

“The details are beyond me,” I said. “It does seem better than the ones you can pick up in any old shop, though.”

“Obviously!” the man howled. “It’s a limited model from Mandas Corp! You’ll never find a better gun than this in all the galaxy, boy!” He thrust my gun back at me.

“Wh-what about the maintenance?” I said.

“That thing doesn’t need maintenance! It could get scratched or chipped, and the nanomachines inside it would fix it immediately. You’d best not mess with it. Nobody but you can fire that thing now.”

“Huh, wow.”

Looked like this gun was even better than I imagined. In Stella Online, you couldn’t trade it or even give it away, but I never could have fathomed how that would translate into this universe. Suddenly, I appreciated my little laser gun a heck of a lot more. Maybe it deserves a polish once in a while.

Mimi browsed a few different guns but ultimately stuck with the one the mercenary guild had given her. In the end, we left with just some cleaning cloths and backup energy packs before heading for our next stop.

“Next up was the import shop, right?” I asked.

“Yes! They handle many obscure foods.” Mimi was especially excited for this one. Small wonder, given her dream of trying all the foods in the galaxy.

“You can’t go wrong with food, I guess,” I said.

“Yep.” Elma smirked. What was she so smiley about?

I didn’t have to wait long to find out.

“M-m-master Hiro, look…” Quivering, Mimi pointed at an animal cage. Something I could only describe as a facehugger thrashed against the bars, whipping around gnarled legs that horrifyingly resembled human fingers. An appendage like a cross between a tentacle and a scorpion tail beat against the cage. I had no clue what this thing was, but I knew I never wanted to get anywhere near it.

“It’s live food that rich people eat,” Elma said. “Wanna try it?”

“I think I’ll pass…”

“There’s also a processed version.” She held up a packet of vacuum-sealed facehugger.

“Urgh!”

People eat this stuff? No way.

“They say militaries in other systems use them as rations,” Elma said. “You can eat the whole thing, from top to bottom.”

“Is it…good?” I said.

“Who knows? I’ve never tried it, but it’s nutritious as all get out.” Elma shrugged. I looked to Mimi for help, but she just shook her head. Good point, Mimi. I couldn’t handle this, either. Horribly, Elma continued, “If you wanna eat everything in the galaxy, this is, like, the basics.”

“We’re beginners, okay? Let’s start easy and work our way up,” I said.

“Y-yes, I agree!” Mimi said. “Oh, Master Hiro, they’re selling very tasty-looking meat over there!”

“Ooh, let’s take a look!”

We fled from Elma as she closed in on us with the vacuum-packed monstrosity. We’re not running away. We’re just charging toward a different objective, I swear!

“Is this cartoon meat?!” I was in awe. The massive cylinder of meat sitting on a single huge bone truly looked like something from a cartoon. “About three kilograms each for seventy-six Ener. It’s already cooked, so you can just chow down on it. Not bad.”

“The package says it’s smoked,” Mimi added.

“Okay, let’s buy it. I’d love some.”

“Yes, sir!”

Seventy-six hundred yen for some cartoon meat. Not cheap, but I couldn’t resist! I didn’t even know what kind of meat it was, but I’d worry about that later. It was probably just the artificial stuff, anyway.

“I’ll buy this with my own pay,” Mimi said.

“Nope. If everyone’s eating it, I’m buying it,” I said. “It’s only fair.”

“Sir, I want to make this my first purchase with my first paycheck. I’m happy to share.” Mimi pleaded with me with her eyes. Seemed like she was really serious about this.

“All right. Well, thank you for treating me,” I said.

“Yes, sir! Thank you!” Mimi proudly placed the vacuum-packed cartoon meat in our basket.

As for Elma…her basket mostly held alcohol.

“Guess I’ll take a look around, too.” I felt safe leaving Mimi behind and wandering around on my own. This store had it all, from nauseating edible live worms to actual Kobe beef. Wait, Kobe beef! Why do they have Kobe beef?! The store didn’t list a source, yet it seemed Kobe beef existed all over this galaxy. That quality came at a high price: 1,000 Ener per hundred grams, with better cuts costing even more. Whew. I’d love to have some, but that price tag was a bit too rich for my blood.

Elma caught me gawking at the beef. “You’ve got the money to treat yourself, y’know.”

“Three hundred grams of this would cost as much as I earned from downing an entire pirate ship. I can’t eat that every day… Wait. Can I?”

“With how fast you earn, yeah, you can,” Elma said.

“No, no, no. Luxury is the enemy! There’s plenty of cheaper stuff out there that tastes just as good. I’m satisfied with artificial meat.” For comparison, artificial steak typically cost five Ener per hundred grams. The Kobe beef cost at least two hundred times that! There was no way I could justify it.

“That’s true,” Elma said. “More expensive doesn’t necessarily mean better.” She shrugged and turned away. Wait. Was there one of those vacuum-packed facehuggers in her basket? Did I imagine it? I shuddered and resolved to pretend I’d seen nothing.

Instead, I turned my attention to the drinks. Lots of flavors but a total lack of the one thing I really hoped to see. Soda, guys! Where’s the soda?!

“Wait, what’s this?!”

I found a bottle labeled Koke that contained a dark liquid. Could this be it? Could my favorite soda be right here before my very eyes? Was my quest over already?

I seized the bottle and dashed for the register. The employee pulled back a little at my aggressive approach, but I just pressed ahead with my purchase and rushed back outside. The moment I cracked open the bottle, a familiar scent filled my nose. My heart swelled as I raised the bottle and took a swig.

“…Yep. Too good to be true.” Sweetness and acidity hit my tongue. That smell wafted around my head. But one crucial thing was absent: carbonation! Once again, I was thwarted. Sure, it tasted like soda, and that was some small consolation, but it just wasn’t quite the same.

Still, the moment I was done, I marched back into the store and asked the employee, “How much of this stuff do you have?”

“E-err… We have seven bottles up front and seven more cases in the back room.”

“I’ll take all of it.” The employee blinked in shock. “All. Of. It,” I pressed.

“But of course, sir!”

It wasn’t true cola, but it was dang close. I paid for the haul and sent it all to the ship. This non-carbonated soda would serve as a replacement and a reminder until the glorious day I found real soda out here somewhere.

While I waited for Mimi and Elma, I tapped through my terminal, trying to research whether anyone had solved the carbonation problem in this universe or not. It seemed impossible, yet my search came up empty. How did a universe with such advanced technology lack this one crucial thing? Guess I’d just have to fix this issue myself.

“M-master Hiro?” Mimi said.

“He looks a little crazy around the eyes,” Elma said.

“Don’t worry about me,” I said. “I was just giving up on my hopes and dreams.”

Well, I thought, no goal worth achieving comes easy, does it? I’d just have to face this obstacle head on. Bring it!

Our shopping completed, we returned to the ship to bask in our haul. The cartoon meat in particular turned out to be spectacular: filling, beautifully seasoned, perfectly textured. I wished I could have eaten more, but two kilograms was a hefty meal, way too much for any one person. Sad. I kinda wanted to chow down on it like a caveman. Oh well.

And, of course, Elma had actually bought that horrifying facehugger. I thought she was crazy, but once I mustered the courage to take a bite, it was surprisingly…not bad. It actually proved to be much softer than it looked, almost like crab. The insides, sweet and creamy, gushed out with each bite. The whole thing was almost like a deep-fried croquette.

“This is actually good,” I said.

“It’s a shame it looks awful,” Elma said.

Poor Mimi stared at us with slack-jawed shock as we dug into the facehugger. As for my soda, I did let the girls have a taste.

“Ew, I don’t like it,” Elma grumbled. “It tastes like medicine.”

“It’s quite sweet…” Mimi was gentler, but it was clear she wasn’t big on the soda either. Whatever. That just meant more for me! Someday, I swore, I would find carbonated soda and change their minds.

 

***

 

The next day we embarked on another hunt. We now had plenty of resources to try for a different star system if we wanted, but there were still lots of stragglers loitering around this system’s asteroid belt, so we figured we’d continue collecting bounties here.

“Weird,” Elma murmured.

“Definitely strange,” I agreed.

“Is it?” Mimi cocked her head. We waited in ambush for pirates, but what we found was a group of three ships moving like an organized squad. They didn’t look like pirates, and it seemed like they were avoiding other ships.

“What do you think?” I asked.

“Seems sketchy,” Elma said.

“Yeah.”

“Um?”

Mimi still looked confused, but the situation was already becoming clearer to me. I began to suspect this was a covert recon force from the Belbellum Federation, perhaps trying to place trackers so they could monitor the Grakkan Empire’s fleet—in other words, to monitor the police.

“That’s no good.” I shook my head. “If we move, they’ll catch us.”

“Yeah, for sure,” Elma said.

“What would happen then, you think?”

“They’d come kill us, I imagine.”

“True. That sucks.”

“Are they dangerous?” Mimi chimed in.

“Dangerous as they come, Mimi,” I said. “It’s probably Belbellum.”

“Huh?!” She analyzed the radar, watching the blips with renewed interest.

“Oh, no,” Elma said.

“Looks like they found us,” I said.

The ships shifted, spreading out to corner us. Clearly, we’d interrupted their mission and now they were coming to get rid of the witnesses. Maybe I should’ve reduced my generator output and used the emergency cooling to run cold?

“Welp, that’s that. Do we fight?” I said.

“You’ve got really bad luck, you know that?” Elma said.

“I don’t wanna hear that from you, Elma.”

“Hey,” she said, “Don’t pin this on me. If you wanna talk about bad luck just look at Mimi.”

“Huh? Me?!” Mimi said. Between Elma’s disastrous accident and Mimi’s staggering debt after the loss of her parents, it was a close race for which one of them had fallen on harder times. Not that that mattered right now.

“That’s enough,” I said. “It’s not the time to open old wounds.”

“T-true,” Mimi said.

“I agree,” Elma said.

“Generator output maximum,” I said. “We’re gonna fight. Mimi, ask them about their affiliation.”

“Understood, sir.”

We jumped out from where we were hiding behind the asteroid, positioning so the enemy couldn’t surround us.

“This is silver rank mercenary Captain Hiro of the Tarmein Prime mercenary guild,” Mimi announced. “Call sign Krishna. I am his operator, Mimi. To the unidentified ships approaching us, we request that you identify yourselves.” Mimi opened the communication lines, but they didn’t answer. She tried a second time, again to no effect. (As an aside, you might have noticed that my rank went from bronze to silver. That happened about three days earlier, when the guild said they couldn’t just leave me at bronze after I’d done so much work.)

“The unidentified ships have deployed their weapons,” Elma said.

“Figured as much. Let’s fight back. Deploy weapons!” I said.

“Understood,” she said. “Deploying now. As usual, I’ll take care of the chaffs, flares, and generator output.”

“Thanks. Let’s do this!” We dashed into a sharp turn, weaving through asteroids as we dove toward the closest ship.

“You love to pilot like a madman, huh?!” Elma stiffened up as we narrowly evaded obstacles.

“I’ve gotten used to it.” Mimi grinned wryly. This wasn’t madness, though. We skimmed the surface of asteroids, emerging from the shadows to take a chunk out of the flank of an enemy ship.

“How?!” the enemy pilot shouted.

I fired off my flak cannons, sending shrapnel slicing through their shields and the belly of the ship.

“One down,” I said.

“Your flak cannons still terrify me,” Elma shuddered.

“Aren’t they great?” I said.

“You’re the only person who would use weirdo weapons like these.”

“But they’re strong!” Weird or not, my flak canons made up for their short range with huge damage. They could even challenge large craft as long as you took down the shields first.

“Fighter Two is down!” an enemy pilot screamed.

“That’s not a silver merc’s skill. Be careful! Keep your distance!” the other said.

“Well, yeah,” Elma drawled. “Typically, if you see a flak cannon you keep your distance, dummies.”

The remaining two ships, terrified of close-range battle, zipped out of the asteroid belt before wheeling around to face us. Oh ho ho, you want a face-to-face battle? Against the Krishna, of all ships? I’d better oblige them.

I hid the ship behind an asteroid, only the four weapons arms emerging to fire.

“Wha?! His ship has arms!”

“Those lasers are strong! I-It’s too much! We can’t take it!”

They tried to evade and fire back, but the asteroid blocked their shots and made it even easier for me to target their ships. Lasers could be easy to avoid, but I was hitting them a solid 80 percent of the time; for the Krishna, that was more than enough.

“Tch! He’s too strong!”

“Retreat!”

The two Federation ships turned to flee, but I didn’t plan on letting them scurry away. I activated the thrusters, boosting out from behind the asteroid.

“Seekers! Fox 1, Fox 1!” They launched heat-seeking missiles in a desperate bid to escape.

“Flares,” I said.

“Sir!” On my orders, Elma activated the flares, decoy heat sources that would lead the missiles on a wild goose chase and leave us unscathed.

“Dammiiit!”

Meanwhile, I blasted through the Federation ships’ shields with the green rays of my heavy laser cannons. Their protective plating glared red as it heated up to melting. It wouldn’t save them now.

“W-we can’t esca—Waaaargh?!” Try as they might, the Federation ships were just too warped and sluggish to get away. They exploded in bursts of flame.

“Well, how about we grab their black boxes and data caches and then we head home?” I said.

“Home?” Mimi said.

“Yeah, home,” Elma cut in. “The police are gonna pay a good price for that stuff.”

“I see,” Mimi said.

“I’ll take care of selling the data,” I said. “I’ve got connections with the police.”

“Connections, eh?” Elma seemed intrigued. “Just don’t bring any trouble back with you.”

“Ha ha ha, I’d never do that. In and out. Twenty minutes tops.”

 

***

 

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Elma demanded.

“Sorry,” I said.

“Master Hiro…” Mimi sighed.

“I’m so, so sorry.”

Two hours later, I was on my knees on the Krishna’s dining room floor. Make no mistake: I executed my mission just fine. I did! It was just…while Elma and Mimi took care of maintenance and resupplying, I’d headed to the galactic police’s headquarters. Lieutenant Serena herself met with me and accepted the black boxes and caches we’d recovered. Then I got my reward. A perfect job, right?

Wrong. Apparently, our accidental involvement drafted us into the war. Somehow, delivering our report to the guild had formally enlisted the Krishna and its crew.

Not exactly the chain of events I anticipated. But Lieutenant Serena insisted we’d be a valuable asset in the war effort. Even when I told her I was just some random merc, she insisted. I tried to explain, assuring her she was flattering me way too much and I wasn’t the kind of merc she was looking for, but she made it clear I didn’t have any say in the matter.

“And that brings us to the current state of affairs,” I said.

“It sounds like she had you dancing in her palm,” Elma said.

“Master Hiro…” Mimi said.

“I can’t apologize enough.” I withered under their reproach. I bowed my head nearly to the floor, but it wouldn’t absolve me of this one.

“Well, whatever.” Elma heaved a sigh. “You’re the captain. You can accept jobs without consulting us.”

“She’s right. You are our captain,” Mimi said.

“Thank you for your forgiveness!” I said, bowing again.

“You could make it up to us though,” Elma said. “Nobody would blame you if, say, you gave us a bonus.”

“A bonus? But I’m already being paid far too much,” Mimi protested.

“Shh!” Elma hissed. “You gotta take what you can get when you can get it. Captain, show us how resourceful you can be.”

“I’ll think long and hard about it,” I promised.

“There you go, Mimi,” Elma said. “He’s totally on board.”

“A-are you sure…?” Mimi still seemed uncomfortable with the whole idea. Even so, I felt awful. Maybe I could find some extra-special food and alcohol at Oishii Mart to try to make amends.

“So,” Elma continued, “are we stuck on standby until something happens?”

“Pretty much,” I said. “She told me not to fight yet.”

“They’re going to pay us a waiting fee, right?”

“I negotiated all that, don’t worry. It’s 50,000 Ener per day.”

“Fifty thousand just for waiting? That’s incredible.” Mimi gaped at the sum.

Elma shrugged. “It sounds about right to me.”

Compared to the 200,000 we made by bounty hunting, 50,000 wasn’t all that much. But hey, making a nice stack of cash without putting ourselves in danger was pretty cushy. It was enough to entice us to accept the Empire’s request and agree to go on standby.

“She wants us to avoid drinking while we wait,” I noted.

“Nooo!” Elma wailed, but I kind of agreed. We never knew when they’d send us into battle. If we happened to be drunk when the call arrived, we’d be doomed.

“That’s 1,500 Ener per day just to abstain from alcohol, Elma,” Mimi pointed out.

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Think of it this way: each day you don’t drink lets you save up 1,500 Ener for future drinks!” Mimi tried.

“Yeah!” The poor little space elf’s long ears twitched with excitement. Saving up 150,000 yen worth of booze per day was a mighty sum if you were so inclined.

“Mimi, you’re a genius!” Elma said.

“Tee hee!”

Maybe Mimi had a talent for cheering people up? No, not maybe—she absolutely did. Being with her cheered me up every day.

 

***

 

We didn’t have to wait long before the call arrived. The Belbellum Federation must have felt exposed after those recon ships I’d destroyed. They wasted little time going on the offensive. I had no idea what was in the black boxes and data caches from those ships, but hopefully it was helping the Grakkan Empire’s intelligence operations.

The Empire called an urgent meeting once the call arrived. We all had to show up in person, perhaps as a means of keeping communications more private. After we arrived at the headquarters, a soldier led us to the most enormous briefing room I’d ever seen. With so few people to fill it, the chamber felt like a cavern. The few people already assembled turned in their chairs to eye us as we entered.

“Whoa, look at that.”

“He’s got girls. Two of them, even!”

“That’s the silver rank, Elma, right? Why’s she with him?”

“She blew up her ship at that pirate gig. Maybe that’s how they met, huh?”

“Die, you lucky jerk. Just…explode into pieces.”

Yikes, those were some intense reactions to our appearance. We hurried toward a trio of empty chairs and took our seats.

“Mimi, you sit in the middle,” I said.

“Oh! Yes, sir.”

Elma seemed to be in silent agreement with me. These mercs weren’t trustworthy. Neither of us wanted Mimi stuck sitting right next to some ruffian. More mercenaries arrived until every seat was filled. Only then did Lieutenant Serena enter with a few of her soldiers.

“Your attention, please!” A muscular petty officer shouted the command, making every merc instantly tense.

“We will now begin the meeting regarding the Tarmein System’s defense,” Serena said. “I’m Lieutenant Serena, and this temporary mercenary corps will be under my command. I will be your superior officer. Be sure that you address me as Lieutenant Serena.”

“Yes, ma’am!” everyone said in unison.

“Good. Now, let’s explain the current situation. Georg?”

“Ma’am.” The petty officer, Georg, dimmed the lights and put up a giant holographic map of the Tarmein System.

“Currently, the Belbellum Federation’s ships are advancing on this system,” Lieutenant Serena said. “As they’re already in hyperdrive, we have little specific information. Based on independently obtained data and hyperspace sensors, the Imperial Fleet believes this is an attack force composed of eight battleships, twenty-four heavy cruisers, thirty-two light cruisers, sixty-four destroyers, and one hundred twenty-eight corvette warships.”

A whisper of shock rippled through the room. That was no minor incursion. With a force like that, the Federation was angling for a full-on military confrontation.

“To be frank,” Lieutenant Serena continued, “the enemy’s forces outnumber the fleets currently stationed in this system. This comes as no surprise. We’ve already called for reinforcements. As long as we can hold strong tomorrow, the reinforcements will arrive in time. That’s why our mission is specifically to hold the system for twenty-four hours starting tomorrow. That is the time we need to buy.”

Well, it looked like the black boxes and data caches really did help. No wonder they’d paid me so well for them.

“Your job as mercenaries is to hide in the asteroid belt and launch guerrilla-style strikes against any Federation ships that try to pass through. Most likely, you’ll be fighting their destroyers and corvettes. If you happen to take down a cruiser or battleship, though, you can expect quite the reward.” Lieutenant Serena smirked as the mercenaries chuckled. Taking down a cruiser or larger ship sounded great in theory, but mercenaries usually piloted small or medium craft. Lieutenant Serena could offer any reward she wanted, but we weren’t likely to take out a cruiser or battleship; we probably wouldn’t even get through their shields with our weaponry.

I said we, but I meant they. They wouldn’t get through. My Krishna, on the other hand, carried a secret trump card.

“Accomplish the mission by any means necessary,” Lieutenant Serena said. “The ends justify any means necessary in this case.”

Oh ho, any means? Should I announce my secret trump card? Hmm… No, I can’t do that yet. I’d looked it up. It was way taboo in this universe. Better to leave it in my unscannable cargo areas for now.

In that case… Hmm. Can I still go for it? There’s not much to lose.

“Permission to speak, Lieutenant Serena?” I asked.

“Oh, you’re… Never mind. Permission granted.” Lieutenant Serena granted the request but frowned at Mimi and Elma beside me. Why, I wonder? Oh well. Couldn’t worry about it right now.

“We may have a secret plan…or, well, a scheme in mind. Do we have permission to carry it out individually?” I said.

“A scheme, you say? Could you elaborate?”

“Yes, ma’am. I say scheme, but it’s pretty simple,” I said. “When they exit hyperdrive, our ship will go in alone, destroy their flagship, and escape. A simple hit-and-run operation.”

Lieutenant Serena’s face went deadly still, unreadable, and the mercenaries burst into an uproar. Mimi shot me an uneasy glance, while Elma’s mouth hung wide open.

“Have you lost your mind?” Elma hissed. The words that’s a suicide mission, dumbass were written all over her face.

“I believe we can do this,” I said. “And if we fail then you’ve got one less idiot on your hands, Lieutenant Serena.”

“You’ve displayed impeccable skill in both the previous mission and in cleaning up stragglers for us,” Lieutenant Serena said. “We certainly don’t want to lose such a valuable asset because of a foolhardy plan.”

“No need to worry, ma’am. We’ve got this.”

Though I’m not exactly planning to fight fair. Lieutenant Serena held my gaze, still unconvinced. Maybe she saw through my vague promises and realized I had something up my sleeve. Still, eventually she sighed and shrugged.

“Very well,” she conceded. “If that’s really what you want to do, then I will look forward to the completion of your work. If you succeed, expect a large bonus.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” I couldn’t stop the grin that spread across my face. Victory.

I heard a few mutters of “crazy” and “idiot” among the mercenaries assembled, but they didn’t know about my trump card. Soon, everyone would.

 

***

 

“Stupid! Stupid, dumb, fathead! Are you crazy?!”

“Mimi, Elma’s being mean.”

“Elma, you’re being rude. Pffbt!”

“Don’t stick your tongue out at me!” Elma said. “Charging into the Federation fleet alone isn’t just crazy; it’s downright idiotic! I don’t wanna die because of your dumb plan!” Elma narrowed her eyes at me. Her shouts echoed around the cargo hold.

She’d been raving ever since the briefing. I couldn’t blame her; I’d feel the same way if someone told me we were diving into two hundred enemy ships with zero information.

“Calm down,” I said. “I’m not just recklessly charging in. I’ve got a good plan.”

“Let’s hear it, then.”

I pulled some duct tape out of our toolbox. “What we’re actually doing is simple. We’ll exit faster-than-light travel when they exit hyperspace, in order to hide among their warp-out reactions. With that, they won’t notice us.”

“Okay, good so far. What happens next?” Elma said.

“Once we leave FTL travel, we immediately activate emergency cooling so we can run cold. We hide among the space debris and approach their flagship.”

“Aren’t they gonna catch on? What if they decide to shoot down the debris, huh?”

“With this ship’s shields and acceleration, we can force our way in even if they happen to spot us,” I said. “Once we’re close enough, we’ll launch two reactive anti-ship torpedoes at the flagship. And once we do that, they’re gonna go crazy.”

“Reactive anti-ship torpedoes? You have those on this ship?!”

“Yep! I just hate to use them, since they’re ridiculously expensive.”

“Excuse me? What is a reactive, anti-ship…torpedo?” It made sense that Mimi hadn’t heard of a weapon like that.

“They’re weapons made to deal major damage to ships with big shields,” I said. “The tip of each one carries a shield-saturation device and explosives. Even the biggest, baddest battleships in the galaxy would explode after two of these bad boys.”

“That’s incredible. Why doesn’t everyone use them if they’re so strong?” Mimi said.

“They’re expensive,” Elma said. “Just one of them costs 500,000 Ener on a good day. You’re wasting your money unless you’re up against something huge. I can’t believe any mercenary owns even a single one.”

“Five hundred thousand Ener…” Mimi blinked in disbelief.

“Anyway, I get the plan so far,” Elma said. “I feel like it’s too big of a gamble, but that’s mercenary life, I guess. If you think it’s doable, I suppose I believe you. But how do we get back out after all that?”

“Once the flagship explodes, the Federation’s leadership will be shaken,” I said. “The Krishna is going to be surrounded. If we try to escape when the time isn’t right, they’ll just shoot us down.”

“So you do know it’s suicide.” In normal circumstances, she’d be right. Even the Krishna would be left defenseless when surrounded on all sides like that. Even if the enemy used weaker weapons for fear of friendly fire, we wouldn’t last long.

Except.

“That’s why we’re putting this baby on one of the torpedoes.” I threw back a tarp concealing the greatest of all my contraband: the Singing Crystal. Pale light radiated from within its glass container, its song still faintly audible. Destroying this thing would summon a horde of crystal life-forms. Nobody knew why, but the whys didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was that we had the power to unleash a cascade of space beasts on the enemy fleet.

“Mgh?! Wh-what is that?!” Elma said, reeling away from the container.

“It’s a Singing Crystal,” I said.

“Dumbass! How much dangerous stuff do you have hidden around here?! D-don’t you dare drop that, okay?! Do NOT drop that!”

“Whoopsie!” I pretended to fumble the container.

“Eep?!” Elma flinched back in horror.

“It’s that lovely crystal from before!” Mimi said. “Does it…make noise?”

“Mimi, no! Don’t listen to it! It’ll make you go crazy and die!” Elma covered her long ears and backed away.

“Huh?! Really?!” Mimi edged away as well.

“It just makes you kind of homesick, that’s all,” I said. “Heh, but maybe that is kinda poisonous for us.”

I had no way of going home, Mimi had no home left at all, and…I didn’t exactly know what Elma’s deal was, but she struck me as some rich girl who’d run away from her family and had no desire to ever go back. Not a group of people who could risk getting homesick.

I carried the crystal to the ammunition storage area. Cramped within that tight space, we’d find the torpedoes.

“Spinny, spinny, wrap, wrap.” I duct-taped the Singing Crystal to one of the reactive anti-ship torpedoes. “That oughta do it.”

“What?! That won’t do it at all!” Elma was waiting for me when I crawled out of ammunition storage. She smacked me right on the head. Ow!

Mimi, our resident angel, soothed away the pain. “Elma, don’t be violent.”

“Don’t boss me around!” Elma said. “You might not know, but that crystal is serious contraband! If it falls or even bumps into something, it could break and bring tons of crystal life-forms this way. It’s as dangerous as it gets out here.”

“Is that true, Master Hiro?” Mimi asked.

“More or less.”

“Stop sounding so indifferent!” Elma said. “You’ve been storing all this dangerous stuff without telling us, and you won’t so much as apologize!”

“Okay, okay, yeah, sorry. Calm down. I’m getting a headache from all this yelling.” I raised my hands in surrender. “Anyway, that’s our trump card. Our hidden weapon, you could say. Throw that into the middle of the Federation fleet, summon the crystal life-forms, and escape in the midst of the confusion. That’s my plan.”

“That would confuse them, I guess…but it’s way too dangerous,” Elma said.

“Dangerous” was one word for it, yes. “Insane” was another. Crystal life-forms were no joke. They’d go on killing until they killed each other. The crystal was essentially a biological weapon—the monsters it summoned could cause serious damage.

“But if we win, who cares?!” I said. Even if there was collateral damage, we’d still make it out of there. The moment we could, we’d escape. Even besides the crystal life-forms that could assimilate other life-forms into themselves, the enemy commanded more than sixty large craft with wide bore laser cannons and reactive warheads that could wipe out the whole asteroid belt. Not sticking around for that.

“You’re weirdly brazen today, but I guess you’re right,” Elma said.

“Let’s forget about all that for now. What matters is this moment.” I faced my crewmates. “This plan is extremely dangerous. If we mess up, we’re dead. So if you’d like, you can leave—”

“We’re not leaving,” Elma interrupted. “We already agreed to roll with the danger of being part of this crew. Besides, Mimi and I kinda owe you our lives.”

“There’s nowhere for us to go if we leave,” Mimi added. “Master Hiro, we’ll go wherever you go.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Elma said. “But it does look like we have a real chance of winning, so count me in.”

“All right. Guess that settles it.” Maybe I was worrying for nothing. The plan was extremely dangerous—one slip up and we were dead—but it should work. Still, the thought of failing them and causing all our deaths terrified me to my very core.

“Anyway, forget all that,” Elma said.

“Hm?” I raised an eyebrow. What was with the sudden change?

“Don’t you think it’s a little unfair that you were hiding a Singing Crystal from us, knowing that it was dangerous?” Elma said.

“Ngh…” What could I say? She was absolutely right. I was trying to keep them from worrying, but it was cruel to leave them in the dark. They deserved to know just how much risk they were bearing on my behalf. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m glad you understand,” Elma said. “Next time you have illegal contraband on board, I want you to tell us. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Tee hee!” Mimi giggled at our exchange. “Elma, you sound like his big sister.”

“Naturally,” Elma said. “I’m the older, more experienced veteran, after all.”

“A veteran who doesn’t know her own ship, LOL,” I said.

“LOL?”

Oops. Probably not a phrase they had here. “Nothing, I’m sorry, please forgive me,” I said. I bowed, hoping it was enough. I might be good with a gun, but Elma would whoop my butt in hand-to-hand combat. “So, shall we get going?”

“Yes, sir!” Mimi said.

“Sounds good to me,” Elma said.

 

***

 

With the preparations complete, we all strapped in and prepared our stations. I sat in the pilot’s seat with Elma copiloting, while Mimi sat behind us in the operator’s position. Our gravity spheres hovered nearby, keeping us hydrated as we readied to embark.

“I know we’re about to fight for our lives, but it feels kind of anti-climactic. I’m not even nervous,” Elma said.

“No point in being overly tense, right?” I said with a shrug.

“As long as we have Master Hiro, I’m at ease,” Mimi said.

“Unshakeable as ever, aren’t you?” Elma said.

“Of course. I trust Master Hiro,” Mimi said.

“You sure are expecting a lot of me,” I said. “I’ll try to meet those expectations.”

“Sir! Oh, Master Hiro, we’re receiving a message,” Mimi said. “It’s from the Imperial Fleet’s heavy cruiser, Glorious. Should I pick up?”

“From the Imperial Fleet? Yeah, pick up.” Drat. Foiled! I’d been going for my gravity sphere full of delicious but non-carbonated soda when Mimi interrupted with the call.

Lieutenant Serena appeared on the screen, prim and professional—at least until she noticed our gravity spheres and her mouth fell open.

“Well, you’re quite composed for someone on a suicide mission,” she said.

“That’s because I know we’re gonna live through it,” I said.

Get as close as possible via faster-than-light travel, shoot the shot, get out. If all went to plan, it would be simple and clean, with plenty of time left over for me to enjoy my soda.

“I’d begun to worry the nerves would get to you,” Serena said. “Hopefully you have the bite to back up that bark.”

“Of course!” I said. “I’m a professional, after all.”

Lieutenant Serena just smiled to herself and shook her head before cutting off communications. So much for the pep talk I guess.

“That lady must be bored,” I said. “Who would open up communications just because she was worried about one merc?”

“I wonder what she’s really after,” Elma said.

“Dunno. Not that it’s worth worrying about. Mimi, cut and disable all communication lines.”

“Yes, sir. Disabling now.”

“Elma, bring engines to max. We’re entering FTL drive.”

“Aye-aye, Captain. Engines at maximum.”

“Begin charging FTL drive,” I said.

“Charging now. Five, four, three, two, one… Faster-than-light drive charged,” Elma said.

With a supersonic boom, the Krishna warped into faster-than-light travel. Stars melted outside our windows, running in streaks like smudges on the glass.

“Keep an eye on the radar,” I said. “Don’t miss the Federation ships leaving hyperspace.”

“Understood,” both Mimi and Elma said.

When it came to hyperdrive, you could think of it like an intergalactic highway, with ships traveling in “lanes” just like a road. Of course, hyperlanes were massive compared to earth roads, which meant there was some variance in where exactly you’d land when taking a hyperlane. Still, thanks to these lanes we had a general idea of where the Federation fleet would show up when they left hyperdrive.

As for us, we loitered around the exit of their lane for a good ten minutes, waiting for the Federation to finally show up.

“Radar detecting several warp-out reactions,” Elma said.

“Nice. Let’s slow down.” I swung the ship toward the Federation fleet’s entry point and exited FTL travel. “Initiate emergency cooling and cut generator output.”

“Emergency cooling initiated. Generator output reduced.”

As we exited FTL, we also reduced the Krishna’s generator output to minimum and activated the emergency cooling system, plunging us into darkness as we ran cold to evade sensors.

“Awesome! Everything’s going to plan so far. Let’s sneak on in,” I said.

“This is a really clever idea,” Elma said. “How’d you come up with it?”

“Not sure,” I said. “Sometimes it takes a little creativity to survive. Otherwise, you’re dead.”

“That’s our Master Hiro.” Mimi beamed with pride.

I turned off flight assist mode, using only inertia to approach the Federation fleet. More of their ships exited hyperdrive as we drifted toward them.

“What a sight,” I said. “This is so cool.” Even after all I’d been through in this universe, I couldn’t help being awed by the splendor of space.

“You’ve got that right,” Elma said. “It’s kind of surreal to see that many ships all lined up nice and neat.”

“Yeah,” I said. “This really is something.”

Battleships, heavy cruisers, light cruisers, destroyers, and corvettes arrayed in perfect formation, an awe-inspiring sight indeed. Sadly, we hadn’t done all this just to admire their tidy military formations. It was time to work.

“That’s the flagship,” I said. It sat right at the heart of their formation, massive and well protected as it issued commands.

“We’re really gonna dive in there?” Elma asked. Her face drained of color.

“Yup, sure are.” It was far too late to get cold feet and run.

“There are no more warp-out signals,” Mimi said. “The Federation fleet has begun moving.”

“All right,” I said. “It’s almost time to do this. We’re sitting at a good striking distance. Activate emergency cooling again and put generator output to maximum.”

“Ugh, jeez,” Elma said, but she launched into action at my command. “Emergency cooling reactivated. Generator output maximum!”

“Chaaarge!”

Within seconds of beginning our reckless dive, Federation ships took notice. Our hull crackled, actually freezing over in places thanks to all that rapid cooling, but I threw the thrusters to maximum and rushed for the battleship at the center of the fleet.

“Hey, check the radar!” a Federation pilot said. “Bandit rapidly approaching! They’re just above us and they’re close!”

“What?! The radar observer better get his head out of his ass!” another enemy barked.

“Their ship is extremely cold! And they’ve been hiding in the debris!” a third added.

“Ha ha ha!” I laughed. “Look at them panicking.” The Federation fighters swung their cannons toward me as I slipped through their ranks, but there was no way they’d fire now. The risk of hitting each other instead of me was too high. “Hah! Say hello to my little friends!”

Swooping toward the big command ship at the center, I fired my reactive anti-ship torpedoes. Even as I pulled up, swinging away, an explosion rocked the battleship, snapping it clean in half.

“Battleship Tiger Eye is down! This guy’s got reactive anti-ship torpedoes!”

“Dammit! A mercenary?! We’re allowing friendly fire. Use your multi-cannon turrets! Don’t use lasers, anti-air cannons, or seeker missiles! Get him!”

“Yeehaw! Giant-killing complete!” I whooped.

“H-Hey, now’s not the time for yeehaws!” Elma said. “We need to run!”

“You don’t have to tell me twice!”

Even as we veered away, the ping of weapons locking on to us echoed through the cockpit. Having lost their flagship, the enemy was out for blood.

“Hold on! Where are the crystal life-forms?!” Elma yelled.

“It takes about thirty seconds for them to appear,” I said.

“Huh?! Thirty seconds? Are we gonna last that long?!”

“We just gotta keep moving,” I said. “They can’t use strong weapons while we’re in the middle of their fleet. We’ll be okay.”

“We will not even remotely be okay, you stupid oaf!”

Bullets pattered against the hull like hail as Elma shouted at me. Multi cannon fire—and it was coming from every direction.

“Deploy chaff and activate emergency cooling,” I said.

“Already done!”

“Mimi, reactivate communications! Send all data to the Imperial Fleet!”

“Yes, sir!”

We bobbed and ducked and wove between their bullets, narrowly escaping the brunt of their firepower. Shields were mostly meant for bumping back space debris, but they repelled the bullets now, keeping us safe from the worst of it.

Well, at least until…

“Our shields are weakening!” Elma said.

“Use shield cells when necessary! Spare no expense!” I said.

“Understood!”

Communications from the Federation fleet crackled over our comms.

“Those are tough shields for a small ship.”

“He knows the angle limits of our cannons. Cover each other’s blind spots!”

“He’s holding fast… What?!” I sent a spray of flak at the bottom of a heavy cruiser we’d been hiding behind. The ammo ate right through the shields and sheared the ship open.

“Two down!” I counted. “Oh, here they are!”

A shrill cry pierced the empty darkness of space, striking me right to my core, reverberating inside me. Tears opened in the fabric of space an instant before beings of pure nightmare spilled out.

“The crystal life-forms,” I said. “It’s time to get out of here.”

“Whoa, there are so many!” Mimi seemed equal parts awed and terrified.

“Aargh, jeez! This is just chaos!” Elma said.

The foul fissures in space spewed out creatures that looked like missiles or perhaps tusks. They were jagged, with sharp, tapered claws and fangs that they used to stab ships full of holes. Some even fired off pieces of themselves or used energy beams to blast through the Federation ships.

“Warp-out signals detected! Are those…crystal life-forms?!” a Federation pilot cried.

“Why the hell are those here?!” another said.

“They’re coming! Gaaaaah!”

“Fight back! Fight, now! Use everything you’ve got!”

“Dumbass, I’m on your side—aaaaagh!”

“Eeeep?! M-my legs are corroding… Noooooo!”

Chaos reigned. The Federation could barely coordinate their defense, let alone chase after me.

“This is awful,” I said, watching the terror I’d unleashed.

“You’re the one who did it!” Elma growled. Mimi just listened to the enemies’ dying cries, pale-faced and quivering in horror.

“Mimi, if you don’t want to hear this, cover your ears,” I said.

“I-I’m okay.” She didn’t seem entirely okay, but I wasn’t going to force it.

“All right,” I said. “Time to earn our keep.”

“Huh…?” Elma went somehow even more pale.

“Look. The Federation fleet is in chaos,” I said.

“Y-yes? And?” she said.

“And this is the ideal time to take them out,” I said.

“Are you kidding?”

“Absolutely not.” I wheeled us around, diving back toward the flailing Federation fleet. “Here goes!” In my head, I was definitely hearing some badass final boss music.

“Gaaah, no! No, we’re gonna die, idiot! How stupid are you?!” Elma said.

“Elma.”

“What?!”

“Long ago, a man in red once said, ‘It doesn’t matter how powerful you are if you can’t hit me.’”

“Was he also the biggest dumbass in the galaxy?!”

Ouch. He wasn’t the “biggest dumbass in the galaxy,” as Elma said, and neither was I. We had shields. We had weapons. We could do this.

With the enemy busy fending off crystals, I was free to attack. I launched my two remaining reactive anti-ship torpedoes. Easy game, easy life.

“They’re grazing us!” Elma said. “Are you listening?! Aaah, crystal life-forms to starboard! Large-bore lasers to the port bow!”

“Whoops. Easy,” I said.

“You’re quite calm, Master Hiro,” Mimi said.

“People who panic in battle are usually the first to die. You try to keep calm, too, Mimi,” I said.

“Yes, sir.”

“I heard that!” Elma protested.

A couple of the crystal life-forms tried to get in my way as I advanced, but I easily broke through them. Flak blasted through crystal pretty easily, leaving me free to pursue my prey: the Federation’s large craft. It only took a few heavy laser and flak shots to bring them down after all the damage they’d sustained from the crystal life-forms. They made a feeble attempt to reform their lines and resist the crystals, but that just left them vulnerable to me instead.

They were…less than pleased.

“That ship with the arms!”

“Kill him already! Destroy him!”

“Four-armed devil!”

Sorry, guys. All’s fair in love and war. Ship after Federation ship fell to my fire. It really was like shooting fish in a barrel now. Yeah, I’ll be bringing home the bacon tonight!

“Th-the Imperial Fleet is coming this way!”

“Dammit, now?! They couldn’t come at a worse time! Did they send the crystals and this armed bastard?!”

Looked like that would be the end of the easy scores for me. Time to beat a strategic retreat.

“That’ll do it,” I said. “Let’s get out of this sector.”

“Now?!” Elma said.

“Yeah. We don’t wanna get stuck in the crossfire.” The Imperial Fleet would unload once they saw both the crystal life-forms and the Federation before them. I didn’t want to be in the middle of that for even a second. “Prep the shield cells. Deploy chaffs and flares, too.”

“Deployed!” Elma said.

“We’re gonna jet. Don’t bite your tongues!” I slammed the thrusters to max and readied for an emergency escape.

“That merc ship’s escaping! Shoot, shoot!”

“Don’t let him get away!”

“Begin charging FTL drive,” I said.

“Charging now. Five, four, three…” Elma counted down.

“The target’s charging his FTL drive!”

“Damn you! You’ll regret this, buddy!”

“Sorry, no time for regrets. Later!” One final parting shot for the enemy.

“Two, one… Activating FTL drive,” Elma said.

Boom! Thunder clapped as we shot out of the sector, leaving behind neither light nor sound for them to pursue. Normally, they could try to follow our wake, but they were a bit preoccupied.

“I thought we were dead…” Elma sighed, slumping down in her chair.

“Ha ha ha, don’t be silly,” I said.

“I don’t think she was being silly,” Mimi said. “Still, Master Hiro, that was incredible!” Mimi watched me with stars in her eyes. I had to admit, it felt dang good. I wasn’t inclined to stop her.

“So.” Elma gathered herself. “How much did we make?”

“I couldn’t even keep track of how many ships we downed. Mimi, did you?” I said.

“Yes, sir. Hmm… Three battleships, four heavy cruisers, two light cruisers, thirteen destroyers, and twenty-one corvettes.”

“That’s a big catch!” I said. “I think it was 2,000,000 per battleship, 500,000 per heavy cruiser, 300,000 per light cruiser, 100,000 per destroyer, and 50,000 per corvette. Our total is…10,950,000 Ener. We’re rolling in it, girls!”

“Ten million, nine hundred fifty thousand…” Mimi repeated in a daze.

“Those four torpedoes cost you 2,000,000 total, right? So your actual profit is more like 8,950,000. My cut is 3 percent, so…268,500 Ener, huh?” Elma said.

“And Mimi’s cut is 44,750 Ener,” I said.

“Forty-four thousand, seven hundred fifty…” Mimi struggled to pronounce the whole sum. I needed to subtract their cuts from my haul, which put me at 8,636,750 Ener. I had 2,000,000 in savings already. Plus, the black boxes and data caches from before, which had sold for about 500,000. Adding all this up, I had…roughly 11,130,000 Ener. I’m loaded!

“I have 11,000,000 Ener in savings now,” I said. “Yet it’s still not enough…”

“Not enough? What are you trying to do, buy a new ship?” Elma said.

“I’d like to go to a safe planet and build a detached house with a yard,” I said.

“Oooh, yeah,” Elma said. “Not even close to enough.”

Well, shoot. I’d figured as much, but hey, I could have been wrong. It made sense though. Between buying landowner’s rights and purchasing the land itself, I probably needed hundreds of millions of Ener. Eleven million was a drop in the bucket.

“With your skill, maybe you’d be better off working for the Imperial Fleet and being a knight or something,” Elma said.

I shrugged. As I understood it, the Grakkan Empire had what basically amounted to a feudal system. Nobles governed each sector, guarding their bloodlines and preventing commoners from rising in the ranks—except through knighthood. Even a commoner could become a knight by proving themselves in the Imperial Fleet—and knights could receive landowner rights and act like nobility.

Still, that kind of life held no appeal for me. With the titles of a noble came the duties of a noble.

“Being a soldier or royalty or whatever sounds annoying, so I’ll pass,” I said. “If I can throw money at the problem, that’s the way I’d like to do it.”

“That sounds like you. Honestly, I agree, it sounds annoying.” Elma smiled and shrugged.

Mimi…hadn’t quite recovered still. She kept muttering “Ener” to herself as she stared off into space, focused on nothing. It was probably best to leave her be.

“Anyway, what do we do now?” I asked. “It feels a little weird to rejoin the battle at this point.”

“Why not?” Elma said. “If we keep going rogue the other mercs aren’t gonna like us. We’d be better off hanging with them to show we’re part of the team.”

“Fair enough. Let’s do it.” I pointed us back toward the battle. We burst out of FTL travel right above Lieutenant Serena’s battleship. “Krishna here. We’ve finished our duty and returned intact.”

Lieutenant Serena responded quickly. “A job well done, Krishna. It seems you’ve made quite the profit.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” I said. “We did shoulder a hefty amount of risk, after all, so it’s not like we didn’t earn it.”

“You are correct,” Serena said. “Provide us with your data, if you please. Do you plan to join us in this rout?”

“I’d rather not. If I come away with an even bigger payday the other mercs might start giving me the side-eye. Plus, we’re hurting for ammo, chaffs, flares, and shield cells after all that.”

“Very well. Then you’re free to guard one of the bombardment units near the main fleet. Incidentally…I have to wonder why those crystal life-forms appeared in a place like this.”

“I guess their flagship had some dangerous cargo on-board when I destroyed it.” I didn’t really expect her to buy my excuse, but I had to give her something. Besides, she didn’t really have a good way of proving me wrong.

“Well, I suppose we can leave it at that. Lieutenant Serena out.” The communications channel closed with a click.

“Welp. I guess we just wait until the fight is over, huh?” I said.

“Thanks to your disruption, it looks like this is gonna be a one-sided battle,” Elma said.

“Not a bad day’s work, if I do say so myself.”

“I’d like to tell you not to get too cocky…but I guess you deserve it, huh?” Elma said. “I think you did a great job, even if I thought we were about to die that whole time.”

“That’s our Master Hiro.” Mimi puffed out her ample chest in pride. Looked like she’d recovered from her shock at last. Good. Maybe we could “calm down” from the battle together a little later.

 

***

 

The defense of the Tarmein System ended in a blink. Though the Grakkan Empire anticipated a hard-fought battle, victory arrived rather easily. According to the official records, crystal life-forms descended on the Belbellum Federation’s fleet the moment they left hyperdrive, immediately unleashing chaos and destruction. The casualties were overwhelming: 90 percent of their ships destroyed and very few surviving soldiers. The rout was so complete that the Federation instituted a media blackout to prevent further shame.

The Grakkan Empire knew little more than the Federation about the appearance of the crystal life-forms. In the aftermath, speculation about how and why the crystals had appeared ran rampant. On top of the strangeness of the mere presence of the life-forms, many wondered how they’d done so much damage to a Federation fleet that should have been capable of avoiding such abject failure. Quickly, one theory pointed at a certain mercenary and a certain Imperial commander: Captain Hiro and Lieutenant Serena. Somehow, their combined presence had delivered a miraculous victory for the Grakkan Empire.

Of course, nothing was known for sure. What they did know for certain was that both Captain Hiro and Lieutenant Serena Holz went on to many, many more military victories.

 

***

 

“Again?”

“Seriously?”

Elma and Mimi shot me looks of pure exasperation at the message that popped up on my terminal. I agreed with the sentiment completely. “The Grakkan Imperial Fleet is always looking for spectacular pilots like you!” the message from Lieutenant Serena read. “You’ll get the red-carpet treatment, substantial benefits, landowner rights, and much, much more! I want YOU for the Grakkan Imperial Fleet!”

I was getting something along these lines pretty much every day. Did this count as spam?

“Jeez, what the heck?” I said incredulously. “That woman’s gonna be personally knocking on our door soon enough.”

“She looks like a hunter pursuing her prey,” Elma said.

“I certainly don’t like it.” I appreciated pretty girls wanting me, but when it was for military service, I had to give a hard no. Red-carpet treatment or not, it didn’t pay as well as mercenary work. I would lose my free time, too. Heck, for all I knew, I might lose my Krishna at some point in the process.

And anyway, as nice as the perks sounded, I could buy most of them, including landowner rights, simply by continuing to work as a mercenary. All I really needed was cash and that was simple enough to come by without enlisting in the military.

“Okay, let’s run,” I said.

“Run? Are you sure?” Mimi said.

“They won’t care,” Elma said. “We mercs can go where we want. Running away before it turns into a big deal is our best course. We’ve finished maintenance and replenished everything but the reactive anti-ship torpedoes, so we can leave any time.”

“Ah, forget the torpedoes. I’m not using ’em that often. Let’s just get out of here.”

When a weapon cost 500,000 Ener, you didn’t just whip it out whenever anything happened. Besides, not many places even stocked the things, unlike in Stella Online where they were easy to purchase.

“Sh-should we really be doing this?” Mimi fidgeted and fretted. I understood her worry, but leaving the Tarmein System wouldn’t automatically put us on a wanted list or anything. Lieutenant Serena had too many responsibilities to go chasing after the likes of us.

“What’s our next destination?” Elma asked.

“It’s a little far, about six systems away,” I said.

“Six… So it’s that place we were discussing yesterday?” Elma said.

“Yep. That’s where all the Empire’s latest medical tech is,” I said.

“The Arein System, right?”

“That’s the one.” Tons of medical stations and biotechnology existed in the Arein System. “Looks like they’re known for genetically-modified crops and a wide variety of artificial meat.”

“How about their booze?” Elma said.

“If they’ve got genetically-modified crops, I imagine they can use them to make alcohol.”

“That sounds lovely,” Mimi chimed in. “I look forward to new culinary experiences!”

I took the helm, with Mimi in the operator’s seat and Elma as copilot. We all strapped on our seatbelts.

“Mimi, can you send a departure request?” I asked.

“Yes, sir!”

“Elma, you control power output and subsystems as usual.”

“Yeah, yeah. Gotcha.”

“They’ve accepted our request,” Mimi said.

“Nice. Off we go!” I detached our docking gear from the hangar bay, lifted the landing gear, and launched us into space.

Immediately, the vastness of space swallowed us up, leaving me feeling small and insignificant in the scheme of things. That excited me more than it deterred me, though. We were free to fling ourselves off to the farthest stars we saw.

“How about we start with the Delluma System?” I said.

“Very well. I’ll set the route.” Mimi operated her console, booting up the navigation. I followed the blips that would lead us to our first pit stop along our journey.

“I’ll begin charging the faster-than-light drive now,” Elma said.

“All right. Countdown, please.”

“Five, four, three, two, one… Activating FTL drive.” A familiar boom preceded the Krishna’s dive into faster-than-light travel.

“Destination: Delluma System. Begin charging hyperdrive,” I said.

“Hyperdrive charging,” Elma said.

“Successfully connected to hyperlane,” I said.

“Counting down. Five, four, three, two, one. Activating hyperdrive.”

Space warped around us as we entered the hyperlane. It was time to set off for the ends of the universe—not the game’s universe. The real universe.

 

***

 

“Yeah, those are some real accomplishments. Are you sure about this, though, Serena?” My uncle frowned from the other side of the screen.

I smiled. “Yes,” I said. “I’ve been insisting on a roaming, pirate-hunting force for some time, haven’t I? Hopefully, they’ll live up to that.”

“With your ability, you could have transferred to a more promising unit. I know you won’t listen to me, though. Settle this as you please.”

“Thank you very much.”

“Well, that’s that. Goodbye.”

We bowed to each other and cut communications. The hologram window blinked out.

“I won’t let you go that easily.”

I spoke to myself, watching through the window as a certain ship dashed off into space, trailing light warping in its wake.