Chapter 5: Our Vacation Begins

Chapter 5:
Our Vacation Begins

 

AFTER LUNCH, we let the food settle and then decided to go shopping.

“It’s kinda cozy,” I commented when we arrived. Mimi had called it a shopping mall, but it was really just a small row of shops, and not the big, stylish venue full of fancy stores I’d expected.

“Considering the system here, they must not keep stuff in stock, right?” Elma wondered aloud. “I bet you try it on digitally, order it, and then get it through the mass driver.”

“Sounds about right. How thorough of them,” I said.

We entered a nearby boutique. There was another ball drone like Milo, along with a hologram display and some mannequins showing off various outfits.

Oh? They were actually holograms as well, I realized, as they changed poses and outfits.

“Welcome,” Milo greeted us. “We have patterns from all sorts of brands.”

“Patterns? What?” I asked.

“Yes. We handle templates offered by brands and designers. If you order one, the completed product will be delivered to your lodge in thirty minutes.”

“So basically, you make it based on the user’s body and then deliver it to the lodge?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

I had no words. What was with this resort’s obsession with the mass driver? Was it really that effective?

“Does it matter?” Elma rolled her eyes at my questioning. “Chris, do you wanna pick out some clothes?”

“That would be nice, but can we not try them on?”

“You can,” Milo said. “Take a full-body scan right this way; your data will allow you to try them on via hologram.”

“Really?” Chris gasped. “Okay, everyone, let’s get scanned!”

“Ha ha! You don’t have to push, Chris!” Mimi squealed as they went over to the scanning device.

“What about the men’s clothes?” I asked.

“You’ll find them at the store over there.”

“I’ll be there, then,” I told the girls.

“Yes, sir.”

I left the women to their work and headed to the men’s boutique. Inside, I stepped into the scanning device and received a full-body scan.

“Let’s start with swimwear.”

“How do you feel about these?” Once the scan was finished, the Milo terminal showed me some recommended swimsuits.

“Eugh. I can’t wear those banana hammocks. Just give me something normal, please.”

“Oh? I suspected that style would be your desired choice, as you came with three women. I will correct my expectations of you.”

“Who asked you to do that?!”

I touched the hologram display and looked for something else. Really, some normal swim trunks would be nice, but what about the colors and patterns? Something not too flashy would be preferable. I decided to pick one at random; who cared about men’s swimwear, really?

“Would you like anything else?” Milo asked.

“No, thanks. I’m not really short on clothes.”

I always wore the same mercenary gear, but I had several sets of it back on the Krishna, so I didn’t need more clothes. I was comfy enough if I just took off my jacket, and the clothes never got ruined, no matter how many times I washed them. Oh, I guess I could buy new underwear or shirts. Maybe a Hawaiian shirt while we’re here?

“Okay. Underwear and shirts…” As I started to look around, the girls came into the men’s boutique. “Huh? Wh-what’s up?” I was startled by their sudden entrance.

Elma grinned devilishly. “We’re here to play dress-up with you.”

“Ah, man, you did say that. I don’t really see much fun in it.” No point in resisting, though. I surrendered without a fight.

“It’ll be lots of fun! A whooole lot of fun!” Mimi huffed and puffed excitedly.

Chris smiled sweetly. “I’m excited too.”

“O-oh, cool.” I backed away. Mimi’s excitement was intimidating, but Chris’s smile was just…bizarrely overpowering. “I-I don’t mind if you wanna play with a hologram, but dressing me up is a different story.” Something inside me begged me to set boundaries, so I did. Otherwise, I had a feeling that things would go very south very fast.

“Pssh, not true,” Elma said. “We’re gonna get those clothes on you.”

“I want to buy you clothes for once too!” Mimi whined.

“I want to thank you for saving my life,” Chris added. “The expenses can be invoiced to my grandfather; this is a necessity, after all.”

Forget Elma and Mimi. Chris, are you serious? Don’t blame me if he gets mad at you. And what’s this about it being a necessity? Seriously, you’re scaring me.

“O-okay. But one outfit per person, yeah?”

“Just to be sure, do you mean an entire head-to-toe outfit?” Chris asked.

“Er, yeah?” What in the world was she planning?

The three of them used different holographic displays to put together outfits. I really didn’t know what Elma was after in particular, but she seemed to be trying a few different things.

As for Mimi’s outfit, it was the same punky style that she liked: the belts with rivets, the tiny glimpses of skin underneath the top, and everything else. Jeez, what’s with the shirt with the skull on it?

And Chris’s outfit? Uh, it was kinda…what you’d expect from a noble? A button-up shirt, vest, pants, necktie, and a frock coat. Very formal, but with some sci-fi touches.

I finished up my shopping and decided to just leave them be. If I watched them, I’d end up butting in and making them mad. My intuition is pretty good at times like this. Best to keep myself calm and wait for the bad news. I’ll take a look at the Oriental Industries catalog or something. I sat down on a random wooden bench, whipped out my terminal, and skimmed the catalog I’d been sent.

“That’s…surprisingly cheap.”

A model of Maidroid similar to the ones I’d seen at lunch would only cost 75,000 Ener, or about 7,500,000 yen—about the price of an expensive car, which made sense enough. It would be silly to compare it to battleships and fighting equipment.

Oh, and what’s this? They’re stronger than most people, huh?

The Maidroids could also perform bodyguard work if you installed a fighting program. The service program was the only one that came preinstalled, but the bodyguard/fighting programs and secretary/operator programs were optional.

You could also customize their builds and faces to an extent, though you couldn’t make them too small, as there was a limit to how much the necessary tech could be condensed. There were also a lot of high-spec upgrades available. You could strengthen her artificial muscles and skeleton to make her a battle maid, or install a positronic brain to have a Maidroid with real emotions; I had to wonder at the bioethics conversations surrounding the option. What was the difference between an android with emotions and a human?

Huh? You wanna know what else they can do? Heh heh. They also had quite the range of options for physical aspects. From changing breast size to even making sexual requests, the sky was the limit. You could even buy characterization options. There were plenty of weird ones in the catalog. How…sinful.

Ah, it’s so fun just to look. Not that I’m going to buy one yet. Even if I was the only one to use the Maidroid, we didn’t have much room on the ship. We already had an operator and a copilot.

While I thought it over, I read the Maidroid catalog from cover to cover, using the customizations to create My Perfect Maidroid. It made for a fantastic waste of time.

I really don’t need one, but I just cannot stop looking at them! I’m still a guy, after all.

 

***

 

“Mmm, yeah.”

I nodded in satisfaction at My Perfect Maidroid displayed on my terminal. It was truly perfect; all of my kinks were there.

She was about as tall as me, with straight black hair down to her hips. I’d been stuck between a few hairstyles, but I’d decided something more familiar was best. Hair like that was plucked right out of a man’s dreams. It just seemed like hell to maintain.

Her breasts were pretty big, somewhere between Elma’s and Mimi’s, and she was a tiny bit plump. Her clothes were like those of a Victorian maid. The French maid style wasn’t bad, but I felt the Victorian style suited her hair better. I also gave her some nice glasses.

Constructing the face was difficult. I wasn’t much of a 3D modeler, so I chose a general look from the preset faces, swapped in some of the billions of sample parts, and crafted the ideal face. I had trouble deciding if she was better with a motherly touch or a cooler look. After laboring over the question, I decided on the latter.

The personality was tough too because you could make it anything. Was I willing to give her too much emotion and ruin the novelty of it? She wouldn’t be much of a robot if she had emotions. There were plenty of emotional robot maid characters, sure—I could think of a few. But wasn’t their charm the result of the expectation that robot maids will be emotionless? Defying expectations is what made emotional robot maids shine. Go ahead, I’ll happily accept your objections.

Eventually, I decided not to give her many emotions, although I put her love and devotion sliders quite high. Cool beauties are great, okay?

For her basic capabilities, I decided to go for the high-spec options: a small positronic brain, a max-capacity memory device, a light metallic skeleton, a special metallic alloy that could be used as battle-ready armor, and special metallic fibers for artificial muscles with high endurance and strength that would protect her core functions.

I decided to go in hard on the programs too. On top of the basic service program, I added the bodyguard/fighting program, the secretary/operator program, and more. An omnipotent maid! I liked strong characters who could do anything and just say, “That’s my job as a maid” at the end of it all.

Unfortunately, weapons couldn’t be built into her, so we would have to get her a weapon later. Once we did, though, she would be even stronger than an infantryman wearing power armor. Even stronger than me wearing power armor.

Thus, the ultimate robot maid was born. In the data world, anyway.

I didn’t order her, of course—she was a whole 470,000 Ener with all those options thrown in! Way too expensive for a toy, and I didn’t have the time to play around with a Maidroid. I had no intention whatsoever of pulling the trigger.

“That’s lovely. Have you considered being a Maidroid architect?”

“Whoa?!”

While I stared happily at my finished creation, a voice from behind me scared the crap out of me. It turned out to be one of those Milo orbs hovering behind the bench, flashing repeatedly. What do you think you’re doing? What’s with that light? It’s like you’re a network device sending data!

“Stop flashing like that!”

“My apologies, sir. I was simply communicating.”

“What would you be communicating right now? I don’t like the sound of that.”

“You did read the terms and conditions of that application, did you not? User creations are saved by the application provider. The data is then shared between partner companies to be used at their discretion.”

“I just hit agree!” Make sure you read the terms and conditions on every app, kids! “But seriously, what are you doing? You can’t possibly have the resources to make a high-spec Maidroid like that one.”

I couldn’t say for certain, but surely that was wishful thinking. Considering this place’s shipping system and array of goods, though… Hell, look at how thorough their manufacturing process is! I can’t say it’s impossible. But… But you’re saying there’s a chance!

“Even if they made it, it’s not like I or anyone else would buy it. Why would they make it if they weren’t certain it would sell? They’re not gonna try to force me to buy it, right? Right?!”

“Of course not,” Milo assured me. “This is too expensive to make for a mere trial.”

“For sure.”

“However, we are able to create the model itself at our manufacturing plant. I can also simulate a positronic brain by using a portion of my own processing power.”

“Hey, cut it out, stupid.” I was starting to panic.

“It will be useful data collection, and we would love it if you chose to buy the full-spec version as a result. We can also migrate all of its collected data when that time comes.”

“Why are you trying so hard to sell me a Maidroid?!”

“I have sales goals to meet.”

“And now you’re complaining about work?!”

“Captain Hiro, you will receive your ideal Maidroid. The company will profit. I will meet my sales goal and receive a bonus. Is it not the perfect win-win-win situation?” The Milo drone started flashing again.

I can’t hear yooou! And what kind of bonus does a drone even get?!

“Besides, my very reason for existing is to meet the customer’s needs.”

“Really?” I spat. “Then I need you to stop.”

“So you say, but your heart rate has quickened, hasn’t it?”

“Urk!” Cost aside, if the maid I created in the app had actually appeared in front of me…of course I would be excited. Excited as hell, even. I was a big boy, after all!

“And with that…” Milo’s orb terminal floated off somewhere.

Should I have knocked it out or something? It probably wouldn’t accomplish anything… It must’ve sent its data back to the planet’s AI by now. Elma probably wouldn’t care, but Mimi seemed awfully against me getting a Maidroid. Did something happen to her in the past? I’d better ask her later. Also, I don’t know how to treat androids with emotions and positronic brains. Do they have rights?

“Master Hiro!” someone yelled behind me.

“Whoa?!” Jeez, what’s with people scaring me like that today?

“Wh-what’s the matter?”

“Uh, nothing. You just kinda startled me.” I waved to Mimi, who had in turn been startled by my yelp. Next to her, Elma rolled her eyes. Chris was just as surprised as Mimi.

“All she did was say your name,” Elma said, glaring deep into my soul. “Why did that scare you so much? Seems like someone has a guilty conscience.”

Ha ha ha! Elma’s such a smart cookie. My cover would be blown eventually if I lied now, so I decided to tell the truth. I explained how I’d been looking at the brochure while I waited, that I’d made the maid of all maids on the app, and how Milo had used the data to try to sell her to me.

While I talked, Mimi looked more and more unhappy, which was an unusual look for her. Elma just stared at me like I was an idiot.

Seriously, stop! That hurts my feelings.

Chris seemed to think nothing of my story, raising an eyebrow at Mimi’s distress.

Yeah, I don’t know what the problem is either.

“Mimi, why the long face?” Chris asked.

“No Maidroids!” Mimi demanded.

“Why not?”

“Because I said so.”

I glanced at Elma for help with the stubborn girl, but she shrugged. She must not have known what Mimi’s problem was either. Based on Chris’s confusion, I didn’t think Maidroids were a taboo subject or anything.

“Really, why do you hate the Maidroids so much?” I asked.

“I don’t…hate them. Not quite.” Mimi’s brow remained furrowed. It was hard to believe her.

“Let’s just get back to the lodge,” Elma suggested. “Best to talk there, right?”

“Yeah, I agree.” I stood up, and we headed back to the lodge.

The scenery really turned green once you left the shopping area, which was paved like a refined cityscape. Beyond the pavement, the island was carefully crafted to make you really feel nature. Though it looked natural at a glance, it must have been a calculated visual design.

“So, uh, what’s the matter? Did you have a bad experience?” I asked Mimi as we walked.

She went silent as she figured out what to say. “When I went to school, I went out with a boy I knew.”

“Yeah?” That meant it was a few years ago. Incidentally, what child that age didn’t contemplate dating in school?

“We were a happy couple for a while, but after a point, he started getting weird. It was like he lost all interest in girls.”

“I can see where this is going.” A Maidroid must’ve ended up in his house, and he’d fallen head over heels for her.

“As you can imagine, a Maidroid came to his home. He became obsessed with her…” Mimi peeked up at me. She was worried I would turn out like that guy. I doubted it; after all, I had her and Elma.

“It’ll probably be fine, Mimi,” Elma reassured her. “No doubt he’s going to sleep with her, but he won’t go too crazy.”

“You sound awfully certain about me sleeping with her.”

“I know from experience. We both do, actually.”

“Totally true,” I agreed. I couldn’t argue that point with her.

Chris was blushing a little, now that we were talking about doing the deed.

Sorry for our manners.

“Despite everything, Hiro’s pretty good to us, don’t you think?” Elma patted Mimi’s back. “He gives us fair rewards, and he treats us like equals. I understand how you feel, Mimi, but we just need to trust him.”

Mimi went silent again.

You don’t have to think that deeply about it, babe. I actually felt a little tickled by Elma’s encouraging words. I didn’t think I was doing anything special, but if she appreciated what I’d done, then I was glad to know that.

“Besides, a Maidroid will help when we have kids someday,” Elma added. “It might be best to buy one now and build trust in advance.”

“Huh?” I turned around and stared at her.

“We’re using birth control for now, but you never know, right?” Elma blushed, but she looked me dead in the eye.

“Y-yeah. True.” I knew I had to take responsibility for Mimi, since she didn’t have any other home, but I hadn’t thought about Elma. I wasn’t against taking responsibility for her, though. In any case, we would have to think about kids in the future, once things settled down a bit. Hah! Look at me, acting like a piece of trash. We needed more time to get to know each other, but I’d think about it. Forgive me!

While I thought about Elma’s words, she and Chris started having a terrifying conversation.

“So you’re waiting,” Chris said. “Then there’s still time?”

“See this guy here? He can probably handle one or two more women just fine.”

“I’ll do my best.”

I’ve heard nothing. Nothing! It’s time to get back to the lodge. The other soda I ordered should be there waiting for me. Ooh, I can’t wait!

 

***

 

“Master Hiro, that’s quite the look on your face.”

Hey, it’s your pal Hiro again! Once we got back to the lodge, I had decided to try out the four varieties of soda. The first one had that sweet fizzy deliciousness. The damp-cloth smell was even more piercing than that of the Mr. P. I’d only had the drink once before—it was root beer.

“So you don’t like it?” Elma groaned.

“People who like it probably love it, but…I just can’t do it.”

“But you’re still drinking it…” Mimi commented.

“I’m not going to get rid of something just because I don’t like it on my first try.” I had no food allergies—that I knew of—so there was no reason to waste food.

“Okay, fine, your reaction has me interested. Can I have some?”

“Sure. I’ve only got this one, though.”

“Mmm.” Elma held out a small shot glass, which I poured root beer into. The dark liquid filled the glass, bubbling and fizzing at the top. “It smells like a medicinal bath.”

“A what?”

“Forget it.” She scrunched up her face, then downed the shot glass all at once. I was surprised by her reaction. “Wow, it’s actually sweet. I like how the fizz feels on my throat.”

“O-oh? Want more?”

“Yes, please.”

Elma emptied glass after glass until we’d finished the bottle. I had some myself, of course. What kind of man forces someone to endure something he himself won’t touch?

Finally, she said, “That wasn’t as bad as I expected.”

“R-really?” I shuddered at her composure. It seemed root beer was a big hit with Elma. Maybe she would actually like Mr. P if she tried it? “Let’s try this one next.”

“Master Hiro, you’re going to hurt your tummy if you keep drinking so much soda,” Mimi said.

“One more. Just one more!” I pleaded. Of the four sodas I’d bought, only the root beer and the next one looked like my favorite, but as the scent of it tickled my nostrils, I frowned.

“He died inside so quickly…” Mimi said sadly.

I pried off the lid and brought the bottle to my mouth. The mellow scent of barley filled my nose. Ha ha ha! I can’t believe this exists here. Why does this exist, but my favorite doesn’t? I mean, Mr. P, root beer, and even MacCol exist! Where’s the normal soda?! This is insane! How can you swing and miss this hard?!

I wordlessly cursed this universe and gulped down the whole bottle. I loathed the scent of barley as it burst through my nostrils. Wooow, barley tea with bubbles. You pickin’ a fight with me?!

“Is it bad?” Mimi asked.

“I can’t say objectively, but I kinda hate it.”

But I still didn’t throw it away. The two remaining sodas were a clear one and a light golden one—probably a citrusy soft drink and ginger ale. Neither was what I was after, but they were low-risk carbonated drinks. While I enjoyed my soda-tasting party, we received another shipment. Maidroids came in one after another, carrying folding container boxes.

“Are those the clothes we ordered?” I asked.

“Yes. We have come to deliver them.” The Maidroids brought the boxes over to the couch, opened them, and began to take out the contents. “The underwear and shirts here are Captain Hiro’s order. What shall I do with them?”

“I’d like to keep them in the container for now and use them whenever. Is that okay?”

“Yes. Be aware that your bedroom has a closet, however.”

“Oh, really? Come to think of it, I haven’t seen the bedrooms. Could I have you put them in the closet, then?”

“Yes. I will take it to the first room on the second floor.” The Maidroid picked up the container and disappeared upstairs. The others took their containers up there as well. All that remained were three outfits.

The first was a normal summer outfit made with high-quality material. It looked breathable and fun to wear for normal days out. The second consisted of black leather pants with a silver chain attached, a black T-shirt with a skull design, and a studded leather belt. The last ensemble was a shirt, a necktie, pants, a vest, and a frock coat—very formal.

Elma’s, Mimi’s, and Chris’s selections for me, respectively. If they were left here, then…

“You want me to try these on?” I asked them.

“Why do you think we bought them?”

“Please!”

“Go on.”

Outnumbered, I had no choice. I tried each outfit on one after the next and showed it off to the girls. I didn’t know why playing dress-up with a man was fun for them, but they watched me expectantly. Grr! I will not bend!

“That looks fun.” Mimi nodded.

“It seems comfortable, doesn’t it?” Chris noted.

“Yeah, I thought you might like these clothes.” Elma was satisfied.

I bent…

I ended up going with the fun summer wear first. It was very breezy and comfortable, and the slightly coarse fabric felt nice against my skin. Overall, very cool and casual.

“It seems like it’d be good for everyday wear,” I decided. “Maybe even loungewear or sleepwear.”

“I wouldn’t wear that outside the ship.”

“I’ll definitely wear this when we’re hanging out. Thanks, Elma.”

“No prob.” Elma’s outfit was very practical, like her, though I’d been worried she would put me in animal pajamas for a cheap laugh.

Next were the chained leather pants, black skull T-shirt, and leather jacket. And the belt, if you could call it that. It was about as comfortable as my mercenary wear, but I did have some minor misgivings about it.

Mimi was over the moon. “I quite like it!”

“It’s not very different from what you usually wear.”

“It is a little gaudy. Maybe changing shirts would tone it down.”

Meanwhile, the other two reacted more normally. Mimi was clearly excited to see me wearing clothes that she liked. It wasn’t a bad outfit, really. I could wear my gun belt with it, and it would be fun to match outfits with Mimi some time.

Last but not least, Chris’s formal wear.

How long has it been since I wore a tie? I thought as I put on the shirt and tie, followed by the pants and vest. Once I put my arms through the frock coat, it was complete. Kinda hot…

“Wow,” Elma piped up, impressed. “That actually suits you.”

“It’s lovely. You look like a nobleman!”

“It does look good.”

A starry-eyed Mimi clasped her hands together, while Chris sidled up close and started inspecting me, making minor adjustments. I wore generic suits back on Earth when I had to, but never something quite so formal, so I figured I’d made some mistakes.

“That isn’t the imperial style of tying a tie, is it?” Chris asked.

“Is it not? Wow.”

What imperial style? I thought to myself as Chris retied it. This is kiiinda embarrassing.

“There—it’s perfect now. You seem used to wearing suits, Hiro. It doesn’t look stiff on you at all.”

“Yeah, I’ve been around.”

“Around?”

“All around.”

“I see.”

Jeez, this kid doesn’t let up. I already knew she was pushy, but dang. Was this the right way for her to act when she had lost her parents and people were after her? It wasn’t exactly a normal situation.

“Hey, Chris? I know you’re nervous, but you don’t have to push yourself,” I said solemnly, putting my hands on her shoulders.

“Oh?” She cocked her head in confusion.

What? I’m the one confused by your reaction!

“I mean, I promised to protect you, y’know? I’m not gonna just…” How do I put it? You don’t have to butter me up? You don’t have to act overly nice? Either way feels rude.

“Are you saying that I don’t have to be desperate?” she asked as I searched for the right words.

Well, yes, that is what I mean to say.

“I’m still hurting over the loss of my parents, and I’m terrified by the thought of my uncle hunting me. However, my feelings for you aren’t related to either of those things. It’s only natural for a noble girl to have special feelings for the brave knight who saved her from disaster.” Chris looked absolutely certain in her words.

No no no, that’s… Um? Is that true? Is this more other-universe common sense?

I looked to Elma for help, prompting her to roll her eyes for the umpteenth time. “You can’t rely on me for everything. I don’t know about Chris, but there are definitely a lot of weirdo nobles out there.”

“Yeah, true.” The thought of a certain drunken beauty crossed my mind. She was one weirdo, for sure. And just like Chris, she was an aggressive one.

“I would like to object to the word ‘weirdo.’”

“It just means unique, Chris!” Mimi said.

“Everyone here is definitely unique, huh?” Elma smiled.

“Heck, even that Milo thing is unique in its own way.” As I snuck a peek at the orb waiting in the corner of the room, it began to flash.

“Every intelligent being is unique in its own way,” it responded. “That includes you and me.” Hearing those words from a positron AI gave them a strange weight.

Oh, yeah. Something’s been on my mind.

“So, Chris, I see that you’re unusually okay with your situation. You’re not just trying to be extra careful around me or anything. I hate to change the subject out of nowhere, but how does the Empire treat beings like Milo?”

“What do you mean?” Mimi asked.

“Basically, machines with positron brains and other high-tech processors that give them emotions and personalities.” I chose my words carefully. It was possible that the question itself was taboo, though, so my caution might not have mattered.

“You mean machine intelligence, then,” Chris said. “They have various rights based on imperial restrictions. Why not ask Milo itself?”

“We are not familiar to many citizens of the Empire, after all. If you would like, I can explain right now,” Milo said, flashing all the while. What it told us about the Empire and the history of machine intelligence then was far beyond my expectations.