Chapter 8: My Perfect Maidroid

Chapter 8:
My Perfect Maidroid

 

IT WAS OUR FIFTH DAY on the resort planet Cierra III.

We’d shopped, played on the beach, and checked out some of the other leisure activities on offer. We had also played golf and gone on hikes, taking the nature in; Mimi had been over the moon to see the flora and fauna of the island. On the fourth day, we hung out in the lodge to recover from our activities. We watched holo-movies and played board and card games. There was a game like sugoroku—similar to snakes and ladders—as well as a deck of playing cards and a game that was basically Jenga.

We had planned to be here for two weeks, so we still had more than half of our vacation left ahead of us. I dozed in bed on the fifth morning, wondering what we should do that day. Suddenly, someone rocked me awake.

Who is that? Mimi? Chris? It’s probably not Elma; she would be more direct. She’d pull the whole blanket off me. This is so subdued that it must be…Chris? I still haven’t gotten my eight hours, but I can’t ignore her, so I guess I’ll get up.

“Good morning, Master.” A black-haired maid looked down at me expressionlessly. She was wearing half-rimmed glasses with red frames.

Oh, I know who this is. She’s the Maidroid I designed a few days ago.

“Am I dreaming, or what?” I didn’t need to see her in my dreams too. I shut my eyes and started to doze off… Huh? What?! “Guh?!”

“Your level of wakefulness has suddenly risen. Good morning to you again, Master.”

Her eyes, though cool and beautiful, watched me with love and loyalty. Her glossy black hair was capped by a white maid’s brim, and she was dressed head to toe in a long maid’s dress. If not for the mechanical bits near her ears, she would have looked completely human.

Wait, none of that matters—the problem is that she’s right in front of me right now, like it’s normal. There is no more pressing issue right now. No, wait, correction: if anyone comes to attack Chris, that’s a slightly more urgent problem.

“Master, mind your manners. It is polite to return a greeting.”

“Good morning.”

“Yes. Well done.” The Maidroid stroked my hair.

What’s going on? I mean, I know what’s going on. I understand what is currently happening, but my brain is refusing to process it. “This isn’t a dream I’m going to wake up from, is it?”

“No.”

“Wow…” I’d get nightmares if I went back to sleep, so I gave up and got out of bed.

“I’ve prepared a change of clothes.”

“Thanks.” I reluctantly took the clothes she handed me the moment I stood up. As I changed, I asked, “Why are you watching?”

“I must have your bodily data, Master.”

“Uh, okay…?” It seemed there was no way I could get her to leave, so I gave up and finished changing. The maid took my discarded undergarments with alarming speed. “What is happening here?”

“As you have surmised, Captain Hiro, I am a custom Maidroid made to your specifications. I have no name yet.”

“I see.”

“Under the orders of Milo, the machine intelligence managing Cierra III, I will serve as your personal Maidroid for the remainder of your stay. I hope we have a fruitful time together.” The Maidroid bowed, still holding my dirty underwear.

“Okay. I guess there’s no point in refusing, right?”

“If you refuse, I will be released from my duty.”

“That so?”

“Yes. I will then lie dormant in storage.”

“Milooo!” I couldn’t help but scream. Trying to gain my trust or sympathy or whatever this way was wrong—how did a machine know the male heart so well?

“That is what I was told to say. However, there is no merit in dismantling and storing a finished machine. I would more likely be transferred.”

“O-oh, okay. I’m glad to hear you say that.”

“Despite the temporary nature of this arrangement, you are my master, Captain Hiro. It is natural that I would prioritize you.”

Tch. Something about this is tugging at the heartstrings. It’s easy to assume Milo did this, but I know I’m the one who set her love and loyalty parameters so high. Milo didn’t do anything except have her built. “I’m starting to distrust machine intelligence,” I groaned.

“I can sympathize with you. Despite knowing I am an extension of Milo, I must make you aware that I am also an individual,” the custom Maidroid said quietly as she looked me in the eye. Without much emotion, she was hard to read.

“I’ll trust you for now. Even if you’re lying, I hope you can at least keep the illusion going.”

“I will give my life if necessary to be worthy of your faith.” The custom Maidroid bowed.

I decided to stop being hostile toward her, and instead tried to figure out how I’d introduce her to the girls. Ugh, it’s too early for this headache.

 

***

 

“Excuse me, Miss Mimi?”

“…”

“Miss Mimi?”

“Grr…”

“Not gonna work,” Elma said.

“No, it’s not,” Chris echoed.

Let’s roll things back a bit. After getting ready for the day and leaving my bedroom, I went to the living room and waited for the girls to come down.

Elma was first. She saw me sitting on the couch, and the Maidroid standing next to me. After three long seconds, she let out an “Oh.” It seemed she understood.

Next up was Chris. She looked at us sleepily and continued on her way to the bathroom. As the scene clicked, she did a triple-take, looking from me, to the Maidroid, to Elma, and back again over and over before she sighed. I was glad I didn’t have to explain it to her.

Then came Mimi.

The instant she saw us, she put herself between me and the custom Maidroid and clung to my arm, growling.

What are you, a puppy? “Mimi, you don’t have to be so aggressive. She’s not here to do any evil.”

Mimi just clung to me tighter, pressing her chest against me as a result, which was wonderful.

Hiro, cut it out, I admonished myself. Mimi thinks this Maidroid is going to take you away from her. Figure out how you’re gonna fix this!

“Master, I would like an opportunity to speak with Mimi.”

“Sure. Mimi, don’t be stubborn and actually talk to the Maidroid. I won’t say anything.”

“Mgh… As long as Elma and Chris are here.”

“Huh? Why?” Elma raised an eyebrow.

“And me? I don’t mind, but…” Chris seemed equally confused.

The three of them went to the dining table with Maidroid in tow.

Should I, like, not be here? Even this far away, I’ll hear them just fine. “I’m gonna check on the Krishna,” I announced.

“Okay. I’ll send you a text when we’re done.”

I waved to Elma and headed to where the Krishna was docked. Despite being on the ground, it still looked as valiant as ever, and upon closer inspection, it seemed like it had been cleaned as well. Was this Milo’s doing?

I climbed inside and ran a diagnostic program. No problems reported, so we were ready to fly anytime. We were a little low on flak due to not resupplying after the battle, but that wasn’t a huge problem right now. Milo had declined to replace our ammunition when I asked, telling me it wasn’t a service that fit the aesthetic of the resort.

Since I was on the Krishna, I decided to do some exercise, even though I didn’t feel like I had missed any training. After my workout, I threw my clothes I was wearing into the automatic washer-dryer combo and got into the fully automatic bath. It made me wonder if I was essentially the same as the clothes in the wash.

What’s that? Stop trying to avoid reality? Wow, rude. But consider this: Would I think of a successful plan just because I spent the whole time stressing about that custom Maidroid? No, I would not. I could just see myself falling into Milo’s trap and pressing that Purchase button. I tried not to think about it. Gah, I’m already falling for it! I can’t think of anything but buying it! Gah, this is my fault for making my perfect Maidroid without reading the terms and conditions! Okay, okay. Let’s think about it from another angle. What would I gain from buying her?

With the specs I had given her, she would be able to support and guard both Mimi and Elma. That would especially be helpful for Mimi, as she would be able to run errands more safely. This universe was a violent one, and sometimes I wasn’t sure I was safe without power armor. That made custom Maidroids particularly useful helpers.

I didn’t know anything about maintaining Maidroids, but I had selected durable materials for her construction, so hopefully, she wouldn’t need too much maintenance. We didn’t have a room for her, but if we could sacrifice a bit of cargo space, we could make it work. As the Krishna was a battleship, we hardly used the cargo hold beyond picking up some loot, and it was almost never full.

Hey, cut that out! You’re really gonna buy her, aren’t you?! Okay, me: calm down and think carefully. I made her with my ideal appearance in mind, to the point that I even gave her half-rimmed glasses that she absolutely does not need.

The laundry finished while I anguished, so I got out of the bath and put my clothes back on. When I checked my handheld terminal, I had a message from Elma. They had finished their talk.

Fretting, I left the Krishna and headed to the lodge. I hope we can settle this peacefully. Please, Milo, I’ve put all my trust into you! Though I guess if everything works out the way you want, I’ll be buying a Maidroid… I stopped my cyclical thoughts and focused on walking back to the lodge. Who even cared at this point?

 

***

 

When I arrived at the lodge, I put my ear up to the door. I heard no signs of arguing. Elma’s message had said the conversation was done, so I steeled myself and walked in.

“Welcome back, Master.”

“Y-yeah… Um?” I cocked my head at the spectacle inside.

“Heya,” Elma said.

“Welcome back,” said Chris.

“Welcome back. I’m sorry for what I did.” Mimi bowed.

That was a good start. I was thrown off by how close the Maidroid was sitting to Mimi, though. “What’s going on…?” I asked.

“I explained my position sincerely and earnestly,” the Maidroid said.

“O-oh?” I looked to Elma in confusion. She responded with her usual shrug. I’d like an actual explanation from someone, please! I looked to Chris, but she just gave me an awkward grin. Their reactions were similar to the ones they’d had after our conversation about machine intelligence. Had the Maidroid tricked Mimi somehow? “What happened exactly?”

“The misunderstanding’s taken care of. All good, right?” Elma shrugged again.

“Sure, but I don’t feel like it’s totally cleared up.”

“Do you need every detail?”

“Ngh… I guess not.” I didn’t know how the conversation had gone, but Mimi seemed able to tolerate the Maidroid at least, which was all that mattered. How the Maidroid had achieved it wasn’t important. AIs certainly have a way with words. “I still haven’t decided whether I’m buying this custom Maidroid,” I said.

“You aren’t?”

“Were you not planning to?”

“Even if I did, we don’t have a room for her. The Krishna can only fit five people at most. We have one single room and two doubles, which Mimi and Elma are using.” Chris was staying in Mimi’s room, but she was a temporary visitor. We didn’t have an open room for a new crew member, unless either Mimi or Elma were okay with sharing.

The Maidroid cut in. “I feel no muscular fatigue or mental stress, and I have no metabolism. I take no issue with being left in my maintenance pod in the cargo hold. As long as I have a place for my clothing and equipment, I will be just fine.”

“That doesn’t sound too nice, though…”

“Master, I am a Maidroid, not an organic life-form. I appreciate your desire to treat me as one of the crew, and I wish to meet your expectations, but I do not need a living area meant for organics.”

“Is that okay?” I asked.

“Yes, it is.” The Maidroid nodded without hesitation.

I had no choice but to assent. Shit, it’s starting to look like I’m buying her! “L-Let’s see how this trial period goes!” I stammered. “We can talk about this more later, okay?”

“It’s not like you to be indecisive, Hiro.” Elma smirked.

“Look, this isn’t the same as buying something like a gravity sphere. We have to take this seriously.”

“Prudence is good,” Mimi said. “And we need to give her a name!”

“Mimi, why are you so into this now?”

Her change of attitude was dramatic, and I was still confused as to how it had happened. Had the Maidroid used promises of gourmet food to sway Mimi? Sworn to help her advance as an operator? Vowed to protect her using those advanced specs? Alternatively, maybe the Maidroid had said she wouldn’t get between Mimi and me. Or would that be too self-aware of her? In any case, the Maidroid had gotten Mimi to accept her. Once she had me whipped, it was all over.

Don’t think it’ll be that easy!

“I want to know why you set her up to be almost battle-ready,” Elma said to me. “Her specs are way too high.”

“I wanted her to be strong enough for bodyguard work. Stuff happens to us a lot, right? I figured Mimi could use a guard so she’ll be safe whenever she leaves the Krishna. Especially because I’m not much of a close-quarters fighter.”

Elma was clearly the best fighter in the crew. I figured I could hold my own in a shoot-out, but if we were brawling, I would get trounced.

“Uh-huh. What about her features?”

“Totally based on my interests,” I said outright. There was no point in trying to hide it. I would never dare say that my cool, raven-haired maid with flame-red, half-rimmed glasses was just picked at random. She could even swap her locks out for a long ponytail, totally changing her type in a flash! Awesome, right?!

“Is this what you’re into? Huh…” Elma looked the Maidroid up and down.

“Should I try to be like her?” Chris asked, looking her over as well. She had black hair and a cute face, so she wasn’t too far off, but Chris was Chris, and I wanted her to keep her individuality.

“Back in my homeland, most people have black hair like me and Chris,” I told them. “I could’ve picked something colorful, but I wanted it to be familiar. And the glasses are a kink of mine.”

“An android doesn’t need glasses, and I doubt she can use them as a wearable,” Elma mused.

“A…wearable?”

“Y’know, wearable devices like glasses with long-range optical zoom or analysis functions. Maidroids don’t need those, right?”

“Oh, yeah. True.” I was surprised to hear that was a thing, but indeed, the Maidroid wouldn’t need any of that as she had advanced sensors.

“If you buy her, you’d better take care of her. Though I guess she’ll be taking care of you.”

“I still haven’t decided if I’m going to buy her…” I muttered to myself as I looked over to the custom Maidroid, who was looking at Mimi’s tablet. Yeah, she’s pretty. Good job, Hiro. Regardless, it seemed like everyone would get along just fine now, so I might end up buying her. How long is it gonna take to get that detached house with a yard if I keep splurging like this? Meh… Can’t put a price on safety, I guess…

Being able to protect Mimi from danger would be a godsend on its own.

 

***

 

“Have we arranged our forces?”

“Yes, milord. The majority are lowly space pirates, but we have gathered 113 small craft, 21 medium craft, and 3 large craft. We have also placed thrusters on nearby asteroids in preparation for an orbital attack.”

“That should be enough bait. How about the main force?”

“We have filled two stealth dropships with battle robots. They are ready to deal with hacking attempts from the planet’s AI.”

“Hmm. You’ve pinpointed their location?”

“Yes, though it was quite difficult. Those mercenaries fancy themselves clever, and they have access to a small fortune.”

“But of course. I was shocked that they defeated their pursuers. I was promised they could handle a gold rank. Disappointing after all the pirates’ clamoring for reward money.”

“They were supposed to be strong, but perhaps the mercenary was simply stronger. Being designated gold rank is not necessarily an indicator of his strength.”

“Hmph. I don’t like it. We need to take the mercenary out of his ship. It may have some value, so do what you can to preserve it. But kill the merc.”

“Yes, milord. We’ve already arranged a landing spot. This will be done swiftly.”

“If we don’t finish him here, we will not have another chance. Christina, I bear no ill will toward you, but you must die.”