Chapter 4: In the Middle of the Road

 

 

 

Chapter 4: In the Middle of the Road

 

AS far as Vincent Tanzine was concerned, Oriana Elsha was like an enigmatic flower growing smack dab in the middle of the road—one he couldn’t avoid if he wanted.

“…She’s not here.”

It was Seed Day and class was to begin shortly.

Vincent glanced around, searching for the figure he was always used to seeing hanging around in front of the main school building at this time.

Miguel watched beside him, grinning from ear to ear. The lollipop stick protruding from his lips jiggled up and down with his snickering.

Irritated at his friend’s antics, Vincent turned his head away.

“Aw, your little puppy isn’t here today.”

“Spare me,” said Vincent. “She is nowhere near as cute as a puppy. More like a large, undisciplined mutt.”

“Hey, big dogs are cute too.”

“You seem to have missed the part where I said ‘undisciplined.’”

“There you go acting coy again.” Miguel grinned knowingly.

Vincent snatched the lollipop from his friend’s mouth. He knew that would only draw Miguel’s laughter, but he couldn’t leave well enough alone. Never before had he struggled to control his own actions, not until he met Oriana. Vincent had always practiced moderation when interacting with people. Oriana was the only one he hadn’t been able to contain his emotions with.

But you can hardly blame me…

Oriana was exactly his type, and on the very first day of school, she suddenly started clinging to him. Telling a thirteen-year-old boy to not be shaken by such an encounter was asking for the impossible.

She started telling him that their meeting was fate—a miracle. Vincent initially thought she’d mistaken him for someone else and felt betrayed. It was probably the first time anyone had ever wounded him so deeply.

What was I hoping for? We weren’t even acquaintances. We were strangers.

He later realized it wasn’t a misunderstanding; it was either Oriana’s own delusion or her attempt to capture his interest. At the time, it was all he could do to play it cool. He’d tried to push her away, lest he get swept up in her nonsense. But no matter how many times he rebuffed her, she came right back for more.

It was becoming increasingly difficult, especially lately, to treat her coldly. It horrified him how he found himself wanting to throw his arms open and welcome her when he saw her looking at him like a jubilant puppy, happy to see its master.

No one would be pleased if he and Oriana got together. He knew that. And yet, it was impossible for him to hate her. At the same time, he didn’t have enough confidence in his own feelings to say he liked her. He knew, realistically, that a relationship with her would be difficult regardless. Vincent’s entire life had been based on meeting the expectations of those around him.

Whatever affection he felt for Oriana was best ignored, but whenever she smiled up at him, his chest swelled with emotion. Her every little action moved him: the way she studied earnestly; the way she showered him with adoration; the way she wore her emotions on her sleeve; the way she trembled in fear during a thunderstorm; and the way she cracked jokes about herself without hesitation. All of it endeared him to her.

Oriana’s candid fondness for him was a big plus in her favor, as far as Vincent was concerned, and the only downside was her strange, nonsensical story about them being past lovers. Actually, if he wrote that off as a failed attempt to try to catch his interest, honestly, it was more a plus than a minus.

I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore, he thought. If I treated our relationship like a fling until graduation, my family would probably accept it.

Vincent didn’t think it right to approach her with those intentions. Or rather, he didn’t want to. It’d be disrespectful to her, for one. But more than anything, he was terrified he wouldn’t be able to let her go afterward. Crossing that line would change him. No longer would he be the type to make cool, rational decisions as others expected. He’d become a completely different person and he lacked the mental fortitude for that.

Fortunately, we’re still fourth-years. We’ve over a year until graduation.

That meant he still had plenty of time to decide whether he would maintain a friendship with Oriana as he had or commit himself to building a future with her.

“Oh, there she is,” said Miguel.

Vincent followed his friend’s gaze and spotted Oriana. For some reason, she was coming from the direction of the boys’ dormitory. She usually came to class perfectly groomed, but today she wore no makeup, and her hair was a disheveled mess. Although she was wearing her robe, she had pajamas on rather than her school uniform beneath it.

Her lateness was already bizarre, since she usually came to school early to study by herself. But the cherry on top was that she wasn’t even alone; Azraq Zalena was beside her for some reason.

Vincent was gobsmacked.

Azraq was Yana Nova Mahathin’s bodyguard. He was infamous enough that everyone in the boys’ dormitory knew of him. There was a credible (albeit exaggerated) rumor spreading among the student body that the man who could bring Azraq to his knees in a duel would not only win the beautiful Yana’s hand but also enter into the Ete Karima royal family. Then they’d never have to worry about money again. As fantastical as such gossip sounded, Vincent had learned enough about foreign countries’ history to know it was entirely true.

“Sorry for ambushing you like that, Azraq,” said Oriana.

“I don’t mind.”

Perhaps due in part to Azraq being two years older than the rest of them, he never made an effort to get close to his peers. Yet, his face was relaxed as he gazed down at Oriana.

“Hold up! Why is Oriana with Zalena? Hrff—”

Vincent suddenly shoved the lollipop back into Miguel’s mouth. He then promptly grabbed his friend and dragged him behind a pillar to hide. Once Vincent was sure they were out of sight, he pricked up his ears and listened quietly.

“You’re always looking after Lady Yana for me,” Azraq continued. “Anytime you need anything, just say the word.”

“Ugh, I really am sorry for troubling you. I know it’s super clichéd, but all my clothes got blown off the clothesline last night. I tried looking for a janitor, but I’d no idea where I might find one! And I couldn’t very well borrow a ladder.”

“That explains it.”

“And if I left everything as-is, I was afraid it might fly off again. And, I mean, there’s no way I could let that happen—you know, given the kinda clothing it was! You were the only person I could think to rely on.”

“I already told you; it’s fine.”

“Seriously, thank you! Now I am indebted to you. I swear on my life, I will return the favor someday!” Oriana almost sounded on the verge of tears as she showered him with gratitude.

“You exaggerate.”

Ambush? And Azraq was the only person she could think to rely on?

If her words were to be believed, she’d been hiding in wait for Azraq to leave the boys’ dormitory, meaning she must have seen Vincent and Miguel as they walked out. Yet, she never even tried to approach Vincent. That could only be because she didn’t want to depend on him. Or maybe she didn’t think she could.

An emotion Vincent had never experienced before heated his entire body. His stomach twisted painfully, like someone had squeezed it. He wanted to charge over to her and demand she explain why she hadn’t come to him first. He wanted to see the shock on her face, to hear the panic in her voice as she fumbled for an excuse.

No! Don’t even think about it.

Vincent stopped his thoughts midway. He watched with a bitter look on his face as Oriana and Azraq walked away, then he spun around in the opposite direction.

Miguel, who’d been fully intent on chasing after them, stared after Vincent in surprise. “Wait, you’re not going to follow her?”

“There’s no need.”

No…I’m the one who isn’t needed.

The one Oriana wanted right now wasn’t him. And that really pissed him off.

❦❦❦

“Viiinceeent! Morning!” Oriana waltzed into the classroom as if nothing was amiss. In fact, she was even more cheerful than normal—perhaps because she was relieved to have dealt with whatever problem had been plaguing her.

Ridiculous. Especially when she was almost in tears moments ago.

Thinking about how Azraq had been the one to help her in her time of need made Vincent want to click his tongue.

Oriana wandered inside and took her seat beside him. It was almost as if the chair were reserved specifically for her because, even when it was empty, no one else dared try to fill it in her place.

“Morning, Miguel. Do you happen to remember where we left off last time in class?”

“Morning. Pretty sure we were talking about supplemental decorations for magic circles.”

“Oh yeah! That’s right. Thanks; you’re a big help!”

Although Vince was being cold and refusing to return her greeting, Oriana showed no signs of caring or even noticing. That was practically proof of how cruel he had been to her up until now, which only made his heart ache.

Since when did I become such a fool?

Vincent grew increasingly irritated as Oriana and Miguel bantered back and forth, with him sandwiched between them. He finally took out his textbook.

“As you’ve studied up to this point, one must use a circle to trigger magic. Leaves from the Dragon’s Tree are mixed with other ingredients to create magic paper, upon which we must write a specific rune before pouring mana through our wand to make it activate. People have studied the Kahn runes used to create magic circles for decades—centuries!

“But even with its elite mages, the Tower of Magic has yet to identify the most optimal way to use them. That’s also the reason why you all have to purchase new Kahn rune textbooks every year. But I digress. You can learn more about the specifics of that through your magic Kahn rune studies…”

The man standing at the front of the class with a tiny mustache—Professor Quicee—transitioned smoothly from one topic to the next.

“The runes you’ve learned up until now include…let’s see… ‘Light,’ ‘Fire,’ ‘Boat,’ and ‘Lance,’ among others. When we talk about supplemental decorations, we’re basically talking about things like prepositions, such as ‘on,’ ‘in,’ and ‘to.’ As I’m sure those of you with good intuition can already guess, we will begin combining two Kahn runes together to make multi-rune circles. Gehehe, I can see your eyes lighting up! Worry not; the fun in this class has only just begun.”

Their lesson was proceeding without a hitch. Since this was the students’ first time learning about multi-rune circles, they gulped as they listened, hanging on Professor Quicee’s every word lest they miss something important.

Beside Vincent, Oriana looked no more intrigued than if this were a standard lecture. Everyone else’s eyes were shining with intrigue, but she lacked that same spark of interest. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t taking the material seriously, but she wasn’t enthusiastic about it. If anything, her expression seemed to indicate that her thoughts were elsewhere.

Again?

Vincent had noticed this same behavior from her countless times before, ever since she began sitting beside him and he’d started paying attention to her presence.

She wears a look of solitude on her face. Like she’s the only one here living in a different world.

In these moments, she even seemed to forget that he was sitting beside her, despite all her claims of loving him. She looked so forlorn that he couldn’t help wanting to proffer her his hand. Arrogantly, he assumed he was the only one who could fill the void in her heart.

But today, she wanted Zalena instead of me.

Vincent turned sullen the moment he remembered that, but then a shocking realization hit him.

Just today?

No, not just today. In fact, up until now, Oriana had never once relied on Vincent. She professed her adoration for him, but she never expected anything in return. It made sense why she never asked any favors or tried to rely on him.

Due to the obligation he’d been saddled with from birth, Vincent was accustomed to people depending on him. Today was the first time he’d ever thought of wanting to help someone of his own volition.

Although he spent the entire class period wondering what Oriana was thinking, Vincent couldn’t shake the image of Azraq’s face from his mind.

 

❦❦❦

VINCENT’S mood didn’t improve even after morning classes had ended. Oriana had eventually caught on and was now walking on eggshells around him. That only made him feel guilty. Not wanting to humiliate himself any further, he informed Miguel that he was skipping lunch and slipped out to the courtyard while Oriana was busy talking to the professor.

He wanted to be alone to cool his head. In times like this, there was one place where he could seek refuge—his lounge in the corner of the eastern building.

“Vincent!” a voice called after him.

I thought she was better at reading the room than this.

The lounge was just a short distance away, but Vincent tsked and turned around to face her.

Can’t believe she actually chased me down.

He turned to meet her with a disgruntled look on his face, not even bothering to mask his irritation. Oriana flinched, regarding him as one might a raging bull, and furrowed her brow in confusion.

“Did you not get the message?” Vincent asked. “I want to be alone for a bit.”

“…I just thought it’d be good for you to eat lunch… If you’re angry with me, I’ll keep my distance.”

“Angry with you? Why would I be? You’re too insignificant to have that profound an effect on me.”

If there was a God who punished people for the gravity of their lies, Vincent would’ve been struck down right then and there. Even he realized he was saying the exact opposite of how he truly felt.

“Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry,” said Oriana. “Still, I would like you to eat lunch. If you want to be alone, I can bring you something—”

“No need.”

Oriana gaped at him, shocked at how curtly he’d refused her. She swallowed hard and turned more solemn than he’d ever seen before as she peered at his face.

“Hey, Vincent…could it be that you’re not feeling well?”

“What?”

“You’ve been having trouble with something, haven’t you?”

“Yes…you could say that.”

At the moment, the biggest problems he faced were his own thoughts and the harsh words that spilled from his mouth. Being curt to Oriana hadn’t been enough to chase her off, which only made him more morose. He was the only one capable of realizing how feckless he was being, but it was too difficult for him to confront that right now.

“Have you talked to your family about it?” Oriana asked. “You may have some kind of serious illness and simply haven’t realized it yet. I think it might be a good idea for you to get examined.”

The way she spoke was so grim, it caught him off-guard. His sense that something was…off about her only grew stronger.

“I don’t think that has anything to do with you,” Vincent snipped.

“…Yeah. You’re right. Even so, I still think it’s really important for you to check.”

“It’s not my body that I’m having trouble with. There’s no need for an examination.”

“Y-You don’t know that for sure! Maybe you’re already having symptoms but haven’t realized that’s what they are yet. Remember how you were feeling so fatigued before?”

Vincent sighed. “Yes, I remember you making a big fuss back then, too. It was heat exhaustion, not a serious illness.”

“But you don’t know that for sure!” she bellowed.

His shoulders jumped. Vincent had taken a hostile attitude with her numerous times before, but she’d never raised her voice at him like this.

“Y-You don’t know,” she repeated. “You just don’t know! It could be… In spite of me trying to keep a close eye on you… There’s just no way to tell for certain!”

Oriana was so hysterical that she was babbling, like a child who couldn’t get their thoughts in order.

“I-I need to get myself together! I’m the only one who knows. No one else knows! And yet…I’m completely powerless! What has staying at your side even accomplished? Even from the beginning, I never felt confident I could protect you. Not even a little! But I knew I had to try—that I had to do everything in my power. But I’m so anxious…I can’t even breathe properly!”

Her voice trembled. No, not just her voice—her whole body was shaking. Vincent couldn’t tell if she was experiencing intense anger or fear now.

“Even though I’m right beside you, I’ve felt so uneasy this whole time. I was always terrified. What if you do have an illness and it’s getting worse without us knowing? Or what if the cause was something else entirely? I’m scared…really scared! I don’t want to lose you a second time… I never want to hold your cold body like that again! No matter how annoying you think I am! No matter how much you hate me! As long as you’re alive, that’s all that matters!”

Oriana’s voice gradually lost strength the longer she went on, and by the end, she was breaking into tears.

Vincent’s voice was dry and scratchy as he croaked out, “What are…?”

What are you talking about?

For a while, Oriana clasped her hands together and trembled. But finally, she seemed to resolve herself and looked up at him. She opened her mouth and closed it repeatedly, clearly grasping for the right words.

“You’re going to die…in spring next year.”

Tension invaded the atmosphere, overwhelming Vincent.

Oriana continued, “On the day you died, I think I died too. And…my life rewound. I think it was the Dragon King’s way of telling me to save you.”

Vincent’s throat grew dry. He couldn’t laugh off her nonsense like he usually did.

“I woke up as my seven-year-old self and my life began all over again. The problem is, I don’t even know why you died! Maybe someone murdered you, but the circumstances don’t seem to support that. I’m convinced it must’ve been some kind of disease. Yet I’ve no conclusive proof of that either.

“I’m at a total loss. All I do know…is that I want to save you no matter what. That’s why I stick so close. I may be completely clueless, but I’m the only one who knows…that after the ball ends that spring day…you’ll die! I’m the only one who can protect you…”

Tears poured down her cheeks, as if a dam had burst inside her. It was proof of the years of suffering she’d endured by herself.

“I beg you… You don’t have to believe me, but at least get yourself examined,” Oriana pleaded. “If you don’t want me around, I’ll leave you alone. I’ll watch over you from afar.”

Vincent had no choice but to believe her; this was the first time she’d ever asked anything of him. He’d spent all morning torn up over the fact that she’d never relied on him for anything. And yet, now that she was finally relying upon him, it was over something almost too ridiculous for words.

“Why…?” Vincent blurted.

Why are you putting that much pressure on yourself? Why would you go that far?

Most people wouldn’t run themselves ragged like this over a classmate’s death, would they? That weighed on his mind more than her shocking and improbable claim that he would die next spring.

Oriana seemed to read what was going through his mind. Her damp cheeks flushed red, and she smiled as if remembering the greatest love of her life.

No, Vincent thought. He wanted to clamp his hands over his ears. I don’t want to hear this.

But it was already too late. There was no stopping it.

“Vince was…more important to me than anyone else.”

Oriana didn’t need to say anything else. That was more than sufficient to convey the deep love she still felt for Vince.

Is something so far-fetched even possible?

Vincent clenched his fists.

He understood exactly what Oriana meant. All the concern and kindness she had shown him all these years wasn’t for him. It made sense when he really thought about it. He’d only been running from it up until now. After all, she’d already professed her love to Vince long before she ever met him. The affection she showed was never for Vincent.

I’m a fool!

He felt silly for letting her proclamations of adoration shake his heart so much. What an idiot he was to think she liked him more than anyone else! It was conceited of him to believe only he could fill the void in her heart.

She never wanted me…!

Oriana wasn’t sticking beside him because she loved him. The only reason she kept so close was to save the Vince she had loved. She’d no interest in Vincent. Once he had himself examined and they were certain there was nothing wrong with him, he feared she might decide to part ways completely. The whole reason she’d dedicated herself so much to her studies was so she could keep an eye on him and make sure he was safe.

It became so normal for her to sit beside me that everyone else started to regard that as her seat. That meant something to me…but I guess it meant nothing to her.

Vincent’s heart filled with anger and something like loss that he couldn’t quite put a label on. He closed his eyes and tried to suppress those feelings, but—

I’m not the one Oriana loves.

It was painful to admit that. But he couldn’t ignore the facts.

It’s a good thing I didn’t make a decision about my feelings for her.

Vincent cursed inwardly. If he didn’t hold himself back, he might explode.

It’s not as though I love her. Neither of us feel that way. How utterly foolish it was of me to consider prioritizing her over my other responsibilities. Dammit…

His anger wasn’t abating. But that was no excuse for him to hurt her either. Although he wasn’t her Vincent Tanzine, she’d still poured years of effort and endured such loneliness trying to protect him. Vincent couldn’t fault her for that.

But still, it’s agonizing.

It was as painful as being torn in half.

Even Vincent didn’t know why he felt so betrayed. He kept his eyes closed and focused, trying desperately to quell his own raging emotions.

“But…you know…”

Vincent was too preoccupied with himself to notice that Oriana’s sobs had softened into sniffling. It took every ounce of willpower he had to crack his eyes open.

“I really did…want to talk to you like this again.”

“Yeah,” Vincent grunted.

Her lips quivered as another wave of tears hit.

Vincent was stunned for a moment but then reached into his pocket to produce a handkerchief, which he held out for her. He didn’t have the courage to wipe her tears himself.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah…”

Oriana started wiping away her tears with his handkerchief, but as she sobbed, her body trembled even harder than before.

“I really adore the way you say ‘Yeah,’” she said.

A shock ran through his body. Oriana had used the word “adore” with him many times before. Yet this one rattled him more than all the others.

“…If you say so,” he muttered.

“Say it again.”

“Isn’t it a bit awkward if I say it now?”

“But I really want to hear it,” Oriana begged.

After a short pause, he said, “Yeah…”

“Hehehe!”

The way the smile on her face grew reminded him of a flower blossoming. All of the anger that’d been surging around inside him evaporated in an instant.

Oriana Elsha was like a flower growing smack dab in the middle of the road—one he could never pull out and toss aside.