Chapter 6: A Storm of Hidden Emotions

 

 

 

Chapter 6: A Storm of Hidden Emotions

 

EVEN after Oriana’s far-fetched story of jumping back through time, Vincent was still outwardly spending his days at the school like always. He must’ve kept what he’d learned to himself since no one else—Miguel included—was treating her any different.

The days passed by peacefully until one Seed Day, when Vincent suddenly whispered something into her ear while she was hanging around him as she always did.

“Do you have a moment?”

He had to stoop to match her height and his hair tickled against her cheek. The caress of his hot breath on her ear combined with his low voice made her shiver. It was all she could do to nod her head up and down.

Vincent held his arm out and she tentatively reached for it. They barely touched, but her heart was hammering so hard, she thought it might leap out of her throat.

He’s actually letting me touch him!

Oriana knew there was no deeper meaning to it. Escorting someone like this was a gentleman’s duty, and Vincent was accustomed to exercising such manners when interacting with women. It had nothing to do with liking or disliking the other person. Her commoner upbringing aside, Oriana still knew that much.

Still, up until this point, Oriana had always been the one touching him, so for Vincent to actively give his permission made her feel like she was on cloud nine. She regularly clung to him, putting them in much closer proximity than they were now, but her pulse raced much faster than usual.

We’re so close… I can even smell him.

It was that cedarwood scent—something she’d loved about him since her past life.

When she’d first jumped back in time and become her seven-year-old self again, she’d missed Vincent so much that she’d had her father collect cedarwood colognes. Being a widely successful merchant, he was able to procure exactly what she’d asked for, in a large variety. The only problem—much to her disappointment—was they were all perfume for women.

Oriana tested and compared the fragrances, but she could find no mixture that perfectly replicated Vincent. Perhaps because his smell was a unique combination of his own natural body odor and cologne.

Catching a whiff of it made her heart swell.

Oh no, this is a long hallway.

Oriana was anxious for them to arrive at their destination. Her fingers were beginning to heat up where she clutched at him. She also had a growing urge to cling to him. But that seemed inappropriate, given he was going out of his way to escort her like this. She wanted to make the most out of the time he’d specifically set aside for her. Yet, as much as she tried to stay focused, she was just too jittery.

The two entered a deserted classroom, and once she was safely inside, Vincent slid the door shut behind her. Her vision suddenly went dark as he thrust a document in front of her nose.

“Huh?”

Vincent held it so close that Oriana didn’t realize at first what she was looking at. She could tell someone with skilled penmanship had written on the paper, but her mind wasn’t registering the words.

What is this? A promissory note or something?

Oriana had been more than happy to tag along when he invited her, but suddenly she turned apprehensive, wondering if this was a threat. A single bead of sweat trickled down her brow.

“I returned home this weekend and had an examination performed. This was the doctor’s verdict. Read until you’re content with the results.”

Oriana’s shoulders jumped. With a mix of tension and excitement, she reached for the paper. Her fingers trembled. Once she had a grasp on it, she started at the top.

Jargon littered the page. In her past life, it would’ve been too intense for her to comprehend, but since her return, she’d combed through a number of medical journals looking for symptoms of any potential sickness that could’ve caused Vincent’s death. Although Oriana wasn’t particularly smarter than other people and didn’t entirely remember everything she’d studied, she still had a better understanding of what was written here than the average layman.

Each time her eyes passed over the results column, her heart beat faster. The examination was conducted with cutting-edge medical technology and magic. These tests were likely the most accurate that could be performed right now. Oriana’s eyes practically bulged as she reached the final conclusion. When she saw the words “no abnormalities” written at the bottom, tears of relief sprang to her eyes. Oriana managed to hold her sobs in until she returned the document to Vincent. But then, she started weeping.

“I’m so glad,” she choked out. “Thank goodness…”

Relief washed over her. At least for the moment, there was no imminent threat hanging over them. Vincent was fit as a fiddle. She was so overcome with the news that her body trembled with joy, and she sank down on her knees.

“I went through with the examination because you kept worrying there might be symptoms I simply hadn’t noticed, but I never dreamed you would be this happy. It was worth the trouble then.”

“Vincent, thank you!”

“Yeah…uh, no problem.” Vincent’s face flushed for some reason. He held a hand over his mouth and cleared his throat. “At any rate, I intend to do these exams regularly.”

Oriana’s eyes widened. “Oh, thank you, really! That means so much to me. Vincent, I love you!” Tears spilled down her cheeks.

There was a short pause as he waited, knowing she was crying for his sake, but then Vincent’s expression hardened. “Now that we have that out of the way, there’s no longer any need for you to protect me.”

Oriana’s sobbing was finally beginning to subside. But now, a new tear trickled from her sky blue eyes, like a raindrop falling from a clear sky.

“I don’t need your help anymore,” Vincent reiterated.

Oriana gaped, her mouth closing and shutting as she searched for how to respond.

“You already said it wasn’t murder, correct? Then there is nothing you can do. I refuse to have you involved in this any further.”

Vincent’s words were harsh. His gaze was sharp too, pinning her in place as if to say he wouldn’t back down on this matter, even if she refused to heed him.

“I would at least like to know why,” she said, gazing imploringly up at him.

Vincent shrank back a little, despite the unyielding attitude he’d shown seconds ago.

“Please tell me.”

After a small pause, he explained, “Because I think this is for the best. Plus, I’m uncomfortable with things the way they are.”

“Is my concern a burden on you?”

“Yes, that’s right,” said Vincent. “Also…”

“Also what?”

“I don’t want to hear you say that you ‘adore me’ or anything like that anymore.”

Oriana leaned up on her knees, leg outstretched as she tried to stand up, but she froze the moment he said that. Vincent often jokingly rebuffed her, but this was different. She never thought his rejection would hurt this badly.

“There’s no need for this anymore, is there? You don’t want me to die, and I’ll be exercising extra caution from now on to ensure I stay alive. I believe this more than satisfies whatever objectives you may have. Or am I mistaken?”

Vincent’s argument was sound. Even Oriana was perfectly aware after these past four years, that she’d been no help to him whatsoever. Nothing would change even if she continued standing vigilantly at his side.

But…I thought the two of us had finally gotten a little closer.

When had he grown to hate her this much? Maybe he’d been holding it in this entire time, but after hearing her story about jumping back in time, he couldn’t suppress his distaste for her anymore. Handing her these examination results must have been his way of cutting ties so that he could escape from her.

Oriana gazed up at him, unable to hide how hurt she was.

Vincent made a face and awkwardly averted his eyes.

After lifting herself back on her feet, Oriana stood in front of him. She tentatively stretched out her hand. Before she could touch him, she yanked it back, swift as an animal terrified of being burned by fire. Even she was shocked at her own reaction.

“I can’t stay by your side?”

“What?” Vincent quirked a suspicious brow at her before scrunching his face. “If that’s how you interpreted what I said, then maybe that’s what you should do. After all, there’s no need for you to be with me anymore.”

“No need?” Oriana echoed. “That’s not… I mean, I only want to be around you because I adore you.”

“I already told you a few moments ago that I don’t want to hear that anymore.”

Oriana’s lips pursed, stretching into a thin frown.

This whole time, Vincent had only spoken about how he felt. It was as though her feelings on the matter were completely irrelevant. That hurt her. Deeply.

Refusing to succumb to her own sadness, Oriana glared up at him. “That’s your choice.”

“What do you mean?”

“That if you get to be selfish, then so do I!”

She spun around and started toward the door.

“Hey!” Vincent barked after her.

But even he knew he couldn’t stop her. There was no hierarchy here. Vincent might be a duke’s heir outside the Academy, but inside, he was no different from any other student. He had no legal power to stop her.

“Do what you want,” he huffed.

“I was planning to!” Oriana threw the door open and stormed out, leaving Vincent behind in the empty classroom.

❦❦❦

THIS was the first time Oriana and Vincent had ever fought, in either timeline.

“I don’t get it! Three seconds before that, I was thinking what a pure, sweet angel he was.”

Oriana broke into another sobbing fit. Her eyes already puffy and red, she was currently curled up tight on her bed, clinging to her blanket.

“Oh dear, we’ll have to have an exorcism. A banshee has taken up residence in our room,” Yana joked from the floor where she was stretching. An exotic rug was spread out beneath her, stretching all the way under their bunk bed. “Even Class 2 has heard about your dispute.”

Not even a day had passed, and already the rumor mill was churning that the two were at odds. It made sense why it was creating such a stir; Oriana had always stuck to Vincent like glue during class hours, but suddenly, the two were working separately. Anyone would be shocked and wonder what had happened.

“Even girls from other classes have started asking what in the world is going on with you. They know how madly in love you are with Mister Tanzine.”

“Sorry for causing you trouble,” Oriana muttered between sniffles.

“Oh, no need to apologize! Once I told them they’d need to beat Azraq if they wanted to know the answer, everyone stopped asking.”

Oriana questioned whether it was appropriate to make such a threat since Azraq’s duels were supposed to be reserved for Yana’s potential suitors. It seemed like it’d come back to bite Yana later, but Oriana was smart enough not to say so.

As Oriana continued balling her eyes out, Yana climbed up on the bed and arched her back over Oriana, continuing to perform her stretches just as dexterously as before.

“There’s nothing I could tell them, even if I wanted to,” said Yana. “You haven’t said a word to me about what happened yet either.” There was a chastising tone to her voice, which made Oriana flinch. Considering how their bodies were pressed against one another, Yana must have noticed. Her light-purple hair spilled over the mattress.

“Still not going to crack?”

“That sounds like something a villain would say,” Oriana mumbled.

Yana shifted, suddenly bearing down all of her weight on one spot of Oriana’s back.

“Ow, ow, ow!”

“This is how you deal with cheeky peasant girls.” Yana gave a princess’ smile as Oriana’s body went limp with resignation.

Since Yana didn’t know anything about Vincent possibly dying in the spring of next year, nor that Oriana had leaped back in time, Oriana had to keep her explanation simple. She merely said that Vincent had asked her not to profess her adoration anymore.

“You don’t have to tell me everything,” said Yana. “It’s not as though I want to hear all of the details either. All I want to know is how you feel about things.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s made it clear he’s uninterested in you romantically. I am asking if you’ve decided what to do next.”

Oof. When she put it like that, it only made the pain worse.

“Are you going to continue trying to be his girlfriend? Will you resign yourself to simply being his friend? Or are you going to distance yourself altogether?”

Oriana hesitated before admitting, “It seems like he doesn’t want me anywhere near him.”

“But those are his feelings, not yours. Correct?”

Oriana was at a loss.

Vincent had snapped at her and told her to do as she liked, but in all honesty, she’d devoted her entire life to Vincent ever since she’d leaped back through time. He’d been the center of her world for years. She’d no idea what she wanted to do.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to do something he’s uncomfortable with,” said Oriana. “I guess that’s my decision.”

“I understand.”

Their backs had been pressed against each other up till this point, but Yana suddenly turned around and curled up behind Oriana, fiddling with her hair. She continued stretching her legs, swinging them back and forth.

“You know, Oriana…”

“Yes?”

“I’m not trying to tell you to choose what path you want to walk right this moment. I just want you to know that when you feel lost, you have me here beside you.”

Yana slipped her arms around Oriana’s neck and buried her face in Oriana’s shoulder, trying to hide her own embarrassment at having said something so sentimental. Even if Oriana tried to glance back, she wouldn’t be able to see the expression on her friend’s face.

“Yana?”

“Yes?”

“Let’s have a pajama party soon.”

“That sounds lovely. Except instead of ‘soon,’ let’s do it tonight!” As she pulled away and slipped off the bed, Yana added, “I’ll have Azraq prepare us an enormous tub of ice cream, so large, you’ll have to cradle it in your arms.”

❦❦❦

VINCENT’S mood was abysmal the following day and even the next. However, Oriana was the only one he ever took it out on. He was perfectly amicable when speaking with other students. Only with Oriana did all of his emotions evaporate into cold formality.

She summoned the courage to take her seat beside him once, but he never so much as glanced her way. He’d either face the front of the classroom or turn his gaze to Miguel, who sat opposite him. He’d ignore her when she tried to speak to him. Even when Miguel tried to mediate, he’d ignore her. It was almost childish the way he pretended she didn’t exist.

Oriana thought being deferential might work, but that only seemed to incense him more. She knew the reason he was cross with her was because she’d refused to obey him, determined instead to do as she saw fit. Still, it wasn’t as if she could obediently do whatever he asked. It was her choice if she wanted to stick beside the person she loved. Even so, her heart stung from how evident he made his distaste known.

Vincent told me he didn’t need me anymore… He said to stop telling him how much I adore him too.

Oriana didn’t want to garner sympathy by letting it show on her face just how depressed she was. She continued to sit beside him for the rest of the class, but it was too painful to keep doing next period, so she avoided him. The period after that, a different girl took her seat. Of all people it could be, it was a relative of his named Sharon Beezel.

Sharon had excellent grades and had been in the Special Class in their past lives as well. Due to the ties between their respective families, Sharon had been close to Vincent from a young age. Vince had actually told Oriana once that the two had been temporarily engaged.

When Oriana saw her seat had been taken, she felt both relieved and heartbroken.

It wasn’t originally mine to monopolize. I should’ve realized that.

Even though Vincent had expressed his annoyance, she’d kept shamelessly occupying the desk beside his.

“Miss Elsha, over here!”

Oriana had been wandering around searching for a seat when a male student called out to her from above, beckoning her to the back of the class. This room was styled like a lecture hall, with connected desks that curved in a semi-circle. The seating in the first row was ground level, but the others gradually elevated the further you moved back.

“Mister Turkey, thank you.”

At least that solved her seating problem. Oriana made her way to Derek’s side. The two of them had spoken a number of times, since they were classmates. They weren’t quite friends, but she could at least consider him an acquaintance.

Since Oriana had devoted her life to nothing but Vincent this time around, she hadn’t really interacted much with her peers. The only person she could proudly call her friend was Yana. Miguel probably wouldn’t mind if she considered him more a friend than an acquaintance. Azraq would probably smile and not contest it if she called him a friend as well.

The moment she made it to Derek’s side, a number of other students surrounded her. As she froze with shock, they started shooting a bunch of questions her way.

“Hey, how come you didn’t sit beside Mister Tanzine?”

“Is he mad at you?”

“Did he break things off?”

“Are you guys just having a fight, or is this something more?”

“Don’t tell me—is Mister Tanzine dating Sharon now?”

Oriana shrugged at each one. It was hard to answer any of them, and frankly, she didn’t want to explain. The last question in particular hit her like a punch to the gut. She never considered that he might decide to date Sharon.

Now I understand… By virtue of me being beside him all of the time, I was crushing any potential he had for romance with someone else.

They’d been lovers in her past life, and she also had the duty of protecting him, so she’d never given their close proximity much thought.

Maybe that was part of why he didn’t want me to profess my adoration or cling to him anymore.

Oriana continued smiling ambiguously throughout their interrogation.

Derek must’ve felt bad for her because he quickly chased the other students off by saying, “Okay, that’s enough, guys. The teacher’s coming.”

“Oh, crap. You’re right.”

“Be sure to fill us in later, Miss Elsha!”

Once they were gone, Derek offered her an encouraging smile. He’d been kind enough to make an excuse for her, so she didn’t have to answer them. “That must’ve been a shock, having all of them crowd you at once.”

Everyone probably pitied her, seeing her as the girl Vincent had rejected.

“Thank you,” said Oriana.

“Nah! I really meant it about the teacher coming. In fact, speak of the devil…”

“Quiet down, you mischief-makers. We’re going to jump right in,” Professor Ghislaine said as she strolled in. She was their astrology teacher.

“Shall we open our books?” Derek asked.

She nodded, glad to be on a different topic. “Yeah.”

“Today,” Professor Ghislaine continued, “we’ll begin by diving into a bit of magic history, and…ugh, my head is pounding.”

“Professor, are you all right?”

“Not even remotely. Stupid hangover.” The professor pressed a hand to her head as she leaned forward, her enormous breasts plopping down on her lectern. The male students in the classroom sat up straight. Even Derek’s posture stiffened.

Oriana glanced down at her own chest. She wasn’t totally flat, but she certainly wasn’t big enough that she could rest her ladies on her desk.

“Right, so where was I… Oh yeah, we’ll be starting with mythology. I am sure you’re all well aware of how intricately mythology is tied into astrology. You must also know that the ‘Dragon’s Trials’ originally came from a story about the constellations.”

The Dragon’s Trials was a legend passed down throughout Amanecer.

Long ago, despite benefiting from the dragons’ divine protection, the humans wounded the Dragon Tree—invoking the beasts’ ire. For their part, the dragons considered the humans to be somewhat like house pets. They generally didn’t lose their temper no matter what the humans did, but hurting the Dragon Tree was an assault on their pride. Thus, the dragons had put a pair of human lovers through a series of extremely difficult ordeals. But the couple had held hands and managed to prevail in the end.

The Dragon’s Trials was like one overarching story, with many smaller stories packed in, all based on tales of the constellations.

“The final ordeal involved the Waterfall Constellation, where a woman was said to leap down into the raging waters. To the left of the stars that make up this constellation…”

Oriana pretended to listen to the lecture as she dropped her gaze to the seats below. Vincent was sitting further down, and she could see the back of his head from here. He was sitting perfectly still, his attention focused on Professor Ghislaine. He showed no interest at all in Oriana. She was the only one bothered by their circumstances.

Once Vincent realized my motives, he must’ve thought he could shoo me off, as long as he had that examination performed.

Her heart panged. Beside Vincent was a head of long blonde hair that Oriana couldn’t ignore even if she wanted to.

This sucks.

It already bothered her that Vincent wanted to keep his distance, but she was also disconcerted at seeing another girl sit so close to him.

❦❦❦

IT took only a few days for Oriana to stop approaching Vincent completely.

When the two were lovers, Vince was always open about his affection for her. Oriana was intimidated at first, having such an amazing man fall for her. She’d found him difficult to approach in the beginning, but it didn’t take long for her to warm up. That was probably because Vince had gone out of his way to make her feel comfortable.

“I don’t know. He’s just kinda hard to approach. It’s like he lives in a totally different world from the rest of us,” her classmates had said to her before.

Oriana had responded, “I don’t think Vincent’s any different than the rest of us. He’s just like any other seventeen-year-old boy.” Having lived this life a second time, she truly believed what she’d said.

But now that she was no longer so close to him, she finally realized why people found him difficult to approach. Vincent felt distant and aloof to those who wanted to get close to him. From the outside, he seemed calm and elegant, perfect in every way. There was nothing else you could wish for in a person. No part of him was lacking. It really was like he lived in a different world, and that was why people were so intimidated.

In my past life, I’d never even thought about getting close to him. I watched him from afar, like a person might look up at the moon. Being so close to him and feeling his tenderness and warmth, I forgot how inaccessible he really is.

It was only when standing from afar that one realized how distant the moon was and how futile reaching your hand toward it would be.

Sharon was now completely monopolizing the seat that’d been Oriana just days ago. She’d thought other girls might also surge in to fill her place, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

As Oriana was going over lesson material in the study hall, Vincent and Miguel waltzed in with Sharon. They took their seats at a desk far removed from hers, but even breathing the same air felt awkward. Oriana stealthily put her things away and slipped out.

I wonder if the rest of my time here will be this miserable.

She sank down on a bench she found out in the courtyard and stretched her legs, absently gazing up at the sky.

I guess if I can’t be with Vincent anymore, there’s no reason to force myself to study.

Oriana never liked studying to begin with. She lacked the natural curiosity, drive, and ambition that more intelligent people were blessed with. This whole time, she’d been pushing her tiny brain to its fullest potential, relying on the faint memories from her previous timeline as she struggled desperately to keep up with her classes.

Maybe I can stop studying, make some friends, and start using makeup more. I can go out to town with them and dive into club activities. It’ll be just like my life was last time. And…

Oriana hugged her knees to her chest without even realizing what she was doing.

Anxiety was bubbling up inside her. She’d abandoned all that she’d cultivated in her previous life, setting it aside while she dashed straight ahead without looking back. Had that all been a mistake?

It’s not good to focus on the pain. I wanted Vincent to live more than I wanted any of those things.

In fact, Oriana had already debated this same question in her head numerous times. She’d decided each time that she wanted to prioritize Vincent. She’d already come to terms with that.

I don’t want to put all the efforts I’ve made to waste. Plus, I still don’t know for certain that Vincent won’t die this time.

If she did quit studying and her rank fell, they’d be in separate classes. And that’d end whatever tiny thread still linked them. If that happened, she would have no choice but to look on from a distance and pray that he survived the spring.

I can’t do that. Even if Vincent avoids me and I can’t make friends with my classmates, I at least still want to be in the same class.

“Oriana.”

A voice called out to her as she was lost deep in thought. She jumped, turning around.

“Miguel?!” Oriana leaped to her feet and started toward him, shaking off the loneliness that’d nearly brought her to tears a second ago.

Miguel was standing there with both arms wide open. She was tempted to fling herself into his chest, but while she was simple-minded, she wasn’t naïve. She knew that flying into the arms of another man wouldn’t give her emotional relief. Nor would others look upon it favorably.

Miguel strolled toward her, his red braid of hair swaying along behind him. His gentle demeanor often made her forget that he was as tall as Azraq. When he arrived in front of her, he frowned, causing the candy stick in his mouth to wiggle.

“You cold-hearted woman.”

“…Sorry?”

“Even if you quit being friends with Vincent, you don’t have to cut me off too, do you?”

“Oh, Miguel!”

Oriana was so starved for human warmth that she almost slipped and confessed her adoration for him. She’d the good sense to hold her tongue, but she wouldn’t have hesitated if Miguel were a woman.

Grateful for his friendship, she motioned for him to join her on the bench.

“Did you come to see me because you saw how lonely I looked?”

“I came because I felt lonely,” he said.

“Oh, right to the heart! They don’t call you Romantic Veteran Miguel for nothing!”

“What the heck kind of nickname is that? Sounds like a book title.” Miguel cracked a smile and laughed, his candy stick bouncing again. The lollipop itself was a beautiful sunset color. “Want some candy? Which’ll it be, the one in my mouth or a brand new one?”

---

---

“…I’ll take a new one.” Oriana eagerly plucked one out from the vast array of colored lollipops he’d stowed in his sleeve. It was a flat, dark plum-colored one that looked particularly sweet.

“Well, go on. Stick it in your mouth,” Miguel said.

“What? You mean now?”

“Eating sweets takes all your worries away.”

That actually sounds pretty persuasive coming from Miguel.

Miguel, much like Vincent, was skilled at controlling his own mental state. Oriana had never seen him raise his voice or lose his temper before.

She removed the plastic wrapper and popped the lollipop between her lips. The sweet flavor spread through her mouth, prompting her eyes to well up. Her tongue moved around the candy, which was naturally causing her mouth to fill with saliva. That wasn’t the only liquid it’d produced, however, as tears started streaking down her cheeks. Oriana furrowed her brows and glared at the air in front of her as she licked her lollipop.

After passing the sweet treat over to her, Miguel simply sat there without saying another word. He quietly remained by her side, waiting for her tears to stop. He never gave any indication that he was surprised she was sobbing either.

“I’m in hot water, Miguel.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“’Cuz now I seriously want to invite you to our pajama party.” Snot was beginning to drip from her nose, so she pulled out a handkerchief to wipe it away. It was ridiculously wrinkled but she didn’t really care, as long as she could use it.

Miguel stared at her. She had a lollipop stick protruding from her mouth, tears running down her face, and her nose was bright red from how much she’d wiped at it.

He grinned. “Hey, I’d be up for it! Yeah, I’d totally love to go. I’ll just have to pick up some cute PJs first.”

“Yana and I will wear cute pajamas, we’ll braid your hair, and we’ll have Azraq bring us a huge tub of ice cream that we can share together. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds awesome,” Miguel said with a chuckle, as though he was genuinely looking forward to it.

“You know, you can braid my hair whenever you want. Here.” Miguel spun around as Oriana was wiping the tears from her eyes. He removed his elastic tie and let his locks spill down his back. Then he shook his head—like a dog—to loosen the braid.

“Really? You don’t mind?”

“Sure, why not? You don’t have a guy with you anymore, so there’s no reason to hesitate.” Miguel spoke flippantly, but his words hit her right where it hurt the most.

Oriana pressed a hand over her throbbing heart.

“Ugh, that was like a dagger,” she grumbled.

“Going to revoke my invitation to your pajama party now?”

“No, it’s fine,” she said, gritting her teeth through the emotional pain. “I’ll still send you an invite… Wanna wear fluffy pajamas to match Yana and me? They’re super comfortable…”

Oriana didn’t want to put his kindness to waste. She tentatively touched his hair. It was her first time ever touching a boy’s hair like this. Part of her felt guilty for doing so, but as Miguel had said, there was no point in her staying faithful to Vincent. She had no boyfriend who might chastise her for her infidelity.

She slid her fingers through his reddish-brown locks. Since it was summer, they were both sweating. The hair on his scalp was damp as a result.

“Hey, Miguel…why are you growing your hair out anyway?”

“Hm… Because with its length, I can tell how long I’ve been alive, I guess.”

“Huh?” Oriana’s hand froze. She hadn’t expected that kind of answer.

Miguel glanced back at her, flashing his canines as he grinned. “What about you?”

“Uh? Oh, right, you’re asking me. Um, I don’t really like how my face looks, but I do like the color of my hair. So, I’d rather grow it out and have people look at it more instead.”

“That’s a really weird way of thinking.”

“Hey, do you really have the right to say that to me?”

Oriana began braiding his hair. The strands were so coarse that it wasn’t working out the way she wanted. Miguel kept his head facing forward as she furrowed her brows and gritted her teeth, silently ordering his hair to cooperate.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Miguel asked.

“What do you mean?” Oriana managed to squeak out as she grappled with his unruly red hair, clutching it in both hands.

“I’m actually pretty lonely…”

Her hands froze in place. Once she had all of his hair gathered in one hand, he peered over his broad shoulders to look back at her.

“M-Miguel!”

“Heh, the same reaction again?” He looked genuinely surprised as he laughed. “Was it a pretty simple fight you had? Or a serious one? Hm, must be the latter since you both refuse to give in, despite your quirks.”

“What do you mean by ‘quirks’?” Oriana asked.

“I mean you’re Vincent-obsessed.”

Oriana knitted her brows, unable to argue. “Maybe I am being stubborn, but I think the case may be different for Vincent.”

“Vincent is kind to everyone, so he’s willing to put up with just about anything. He’s been pretty lenient with your antics ’til now.”

Again, Miguel had a valid point. It wasn’t a case of Vincent actively wanting her to be beside him or even consenting to it. He’d merely let it slide.

Oriana hesitated before asking, “So…you’re saying he finally hit the limit of his patience with me?”

“Hmm. I guess you could interpret it that way.”

Although Oriana already guessed that was the case, Miguel’s words still hit like a ton of bricks. She was totally discouraged as she used some bands to tie Miguel’s hair in place.

“It’s finished!”

There were a few loose strands sticking out here and there, but overall, Oriana was proud of how she’d pulled it together. Miguel was handsome enough that the braid didn’t make him look feminine. If anything, it actually amplified his natural charms and also matched his uniform.

“You look positively adorable! The biggest beauty in the boys’ dormitory,” she chirped.

“Sweet. I’ll be sure to show my hair off to everyone later.”

“Just be careful nobody drags you off to a dark room.”

He would’ve been even cuter if she’d inserted some flowers in his braid, but they could save that for next time. Maybe she could enlist Yana’s help as well.

Now that Oriana was done playing with his hair, an awkward silence hung in the air.

“Anyway, basically, I came here to lend you a hand,” Miguel muttered shyly.

Oriana dramatically dropped to her knees, clutching at her chest. “It’s over for me. My fuse has been lit!”

“For real? Well, if you blow up, there’s nothing I can do for you.”

“That’s why you’re supposed to use magic on me to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“Never heard of such miracle magic before.”

When Miguel confessed he felt lonely without her, Oriana knew he was being entirely genuine. To resolve his own emotional turmoil, he wanted to help her and Vincent reconcile. She inwardly apologized to him for ever doubting if he was a mere acquaintance. He was definitely a friend!

“Hey, are you trying to sidestep the issue?” Miguel must’ve grown impatient with her for not answering him seriously. He turned his body around and scrutinized her face.

“Uh, um, that totally wasn’t not my intention.”

“Does that mean you don’t want to make up with Vincent?”

“Urrrrgh…” Oriana groaned.

If I force Vincent to bend his emotions to my will so we can make up, I feel like it’ll just end with him continuing to begrudgingly put up with me.

What Vincent wanted was for her to keep her distance. That’d be impossible if they reconciled.

“If I was clever enough to know how to make up with him, I probably wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with,” she said finally.

Miguel lifted himself off the bench and reached over, mussing her hair. “Well, at least you know who you should invite to your girls’ party next time, should you want to.”

Miguel’s hair swayed with his every movement. He reminded her of a cat with the way he’d quietly waited for her to tie it earlier. He’d also been patient with her, trying to help her unravel the mess of emotions she was struggling to express. On top of that, he’d even told her to lean on him for help whenever she needed it.

“Yeah, I do. Miguel, let me say just one last thing.”

“Hm?”

Oriana leaped to her feet and clenched her fists. Without hesitating, she blurted, “I love you!”

“Whoa, whoa! You finally blew after holding it in this whole time, huh?” Miguel bit down on his candy stick, a grin stretching across his face.

❦❦❦

THE sunset was spilling in through the windows of Vincent’s room as he paced from corner to corner. Anxiety swelled in his chest, weighing on him like a dark cloud.

Suddenly, the door burst open without so much as a knock. The only person it could be was his roommate, Miguel. He had returned with a sunny expression on his face.

“You’re sure in a good mood,” Vincent observed sourly.

“Sure am.”

When Vincent entered the study hall earlier, he’d known Oriana would be there. She was always there around that time, and he’d gone there knowing full well he’d run into her. Although she always clung to him incessantly, she never slacked off on her studies. Vincent had always liked that about her, but when he realized her efforts were entirely to ensure he didn’t die, he was overcome with guilt. Part of him even felt a bit alienated. It was like a rock had settled in his chest.

“That was probably the most fun I’ve had lately. And there was no fussy hen around to peck at me either,” Miguel said as he pulled his robe off and slipped it onto a hanger.

He was likely referring to Sharon Beezel, who’d been cozying up to Vincent lately.

“It’s not like I particularly want her around either,” Vincent grumbled.

The two had been engaged once before, due to their parents’ wishes, but it was so brief that almost no one outside their families knew anything about it. Due to their history, he had to give her more leeway than any other student. His parents had drilled it into him from a young age that he should not cause a lady undue embarrassment.

“If someone knows how to shut her beak, I’d gladly bow my head and ask them to teach me,” said Vincent.

“Yes, that! That’s exactly it! You’ll put up with almost anything, no matter how annoying it is.”

Vincent’s shoulders jumped. Miguel was subtly pointing out the exact reason why he and Oriana were fighting. It was actually the first time in Vincent’s life that he’d ever argued with anyone before. Thus, he’d no way of knowing how to go about reconciling with her.

When Sharon took Oriana’s seat, and Oriana had said nothing, choosing instead to sit elsewhere, he realized he’d screwed up royally. He thought she would eventually retake her place beside him, but he was starting to think she never would. Sadly for him, that was turning out to be true.

Oriana had started hanging out with other friends, avoiding him completely. Vincent should have spoken with her the day after their fight, when she’d taken her usual seat beside him, but he’d realized that too late. He was the one who ignored her because he couldn’t figure out how to approach her after their argument. His own childish hostility had pushed her away completely.

When he was younger, his tutor had lectured him over and over, “Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.” The traditionally-minded upper crust considered all emotions evils to be restrained.

When I was younger, I took such advice for granted and let it go in one ear and out the other. But as I got older, their every word started to seep inside my head.

Vincent had allowed the emotions he usually kept in check to control him, and in the process, he’d lost something precious. It was so ridiculous that he couldn’t even feel sorry for himself. He was tolerant of other people, but for some reason, when it came to Oriana, he was always so clumsy.

“Did Elsha say anything to you?” Vincent asked. “About…wanting to fix things with me.”

Miguel had made no comments yet on Vincent’s tiff with Oriana. For Miguel to make such a cutting remark must have meant Oriana had said something. Honestly, there was a lot more Vincent wanted to ask.

Is she okay? Has she been lonely? Is our separation hurting her as much as it is me?

Those were all things he wanted to hear from Oriana directly—not Miguel.

“Nope. Not even after I offered to mediate for her.”

And she wouldn’t even take him up on it?

As selfish as it was for him to feel this way, Vincent was seriously depressed.

I guess I was right. She never really wanted to be with me to begin with.

Oriana had pretended to want him, but when he thought about it, she’d always toed the line and stopped when she was at the tipping point of provoking his anger. She’d never wanted anything from him badly enough to risk pissing him off, at least not until she demanded he have a health exam. All she truly desired was his safety.

Vincent pulled his chair back and slumped into it. He rested his elbow against the window frame and absentmindedly stared out of the glass.

When he gave her his exam results, he’d told her not to protect him anymore. Vincent couldn’t abide by a girl thinking he was so frail that he needed her protection. His pride was as great as his high social status.

He also told her not to involve herself with his death, which she was so fixated on. Part of that was because of how relieved she was when she saw the results. He figured it’d bring her even greater relief if he continued the exams. If it brought her peace of mind, he could withstand being tied up for a couple of days and being probed by all manner of needles. It was a small price to pay.

The real issue was…what if Oriana was wrong? What if someone really had murdered him? If the culprit noticed her digging around, it might provoke them. Vincent risked putting her in more danger by leaving her to her own devices. That was one thing he absolutely had to avoid.

Put that way, it’s actually a relief not having her nearby. At least now she won’t be wrapped up in it if I do die. Even if she can’t save me, she surely won’t be as heartbroken as when Vince died.

That should’ve been reassuring. But instead, he felt an unfamiliar emotion roiling in his gut—something like anger.

Ever since he heard her story about jumping back in time, he couldn’t stand hearing her talk about her adoration for him when he knew it was really Vince she loved, not him. He sensed her affection was a lie—a cover to allow her to stay close to him.

The one she really had feelings for was a version of himself that he didn’t know and never would. Though it was a trifling lie not worth getting upset over, it still hurt each time she said it. Vincent was baffled by his own emotions, but regardless, he never wanted to hear it again.

At any rate, these were the three things Vincent had told her: Stop trying to protect him, stop worrying about his potential death, and stop professing her adoration. Those were his only conditions. And yet she asked, “I can’t stay by your side?”

Vincent had never said anything like that. There was nothing that could convince him to say such a thing to her, in fact. Although unspoken, it was as if she saw no meaning in being with him if she couldn’t do those three things.

The memory made him grind his teeth. He’d never felt more frustrated in his life.

For as much as she professed her adoration, she never actually had a shred of interest or affection for me, apart from Vince.

Now pissed off, Vincent raked his hands through his hair, making a disheveled mess of it. It stood in stark contrast to Miguel’s beautifully braided red hair, which slipped into Vincent’s periphery.

“Check it out,” said Miguel. “Cute, huh? Oriana did this for me.”

“I saw,” Vincent huffed bitterly. Miguel didn’t need to boast about it; Vincent had seen the whole thing play out through a window in the study hall. “You knew I was looking, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah. Pretty much.”

Miguel had gone out of his way to face the study hall as he sat on the bench, gleefully showing off in front of Vincent. Oriana didn’t seem to notice they were being watched, but Miguel was fully aware as he took advantage of the situation.

“Then did you also hear her say she loves me?”

“What?” Vincent’s head jerked up. Miguel had a Cheshire grin on his face. Perhaps he was lying in order to gauge Vincent’s reaction.

No, he wouldn’t tell such an obvious lie. Which must mean…it’s true?

“What?” he sputtered again, his voice coming out a pitiful squeak now.

Oriana…said that to Miguel? Said she loves him? Even though she’s never said that to me?

Vincent froze up, unable to digest this new information. Miguel simply licked at his lollipop as he waited for his friend to speak.

“What will happen to your house?” Vincent asked finally. “You’re heir to an earldom, aren’t you? From what I’ve heard, your family isn’t in such dire straits that they would stoop to having you marry a merchant’s daughter. Elsha is a commoner. It’d be impossible for the two of you to wed!”

“Uh…now I think it’s my turn to shout ‘What?’ back at you. Why are you jumping into talks of marriage between Oriana and me?”

Vincent was at a loss for words. He was so panicked that he started babbling. Inadvertently, he’d exposed the root of his own troubles.

That’s because she kept going on and on about how much she adores me.

Naturally, at some point, he’d started to wonder if there was a way the two of them could be together.

“Besides,” Miguel continued, “you have no right to say anything to me.”

That was true, of course.

Vincent slumped against the window frame. He felt guilty for thinking this after how desperately Oriana had worked to save him. He wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Nothing was going at all the way he wanted.

He’d never intended to have such a huge fight with her. Nor did he mean for the two of them to separate. He merely wanted some space so he could cool down. Naturally, he assumed that, even if he did keep his distance from her, the two would go right back to normal. Even though Vincent was well aware the person she’d dated in her previous life was Vince and not him, he couldn’t shake the sense that their relationship was special.

“Was Elsha being serious when she said that?”

Vincent was already having a hard enough time dealing with the fact she was in love with Vince. He didn’t want to have to think about Miguel too.

“If she really was serious, I wouldn’t be so heartless as to go blabbing about it to other people.”

Vincent’s lips thinned. Miguel had a point. Now he really wanted to find a hole he could crawl into.

“Do you get it now, Vincent? You’re a hot mess.”

“…I know.”

And I’m drowning in despair besides.

Vincent covered his face with his hands. He didn’t want to talk, see, or think about anything.

“I never thought you’d be this big of a wreck,” Miguel continued.

“Strange as it is to say, neither did I.”

Vincent always prided himself on being someone in control of his emotions. Someone who could always make the right decisions. It was only when it came to Oriana that nothing went as planned.

“That said, I like it best when it’s the three of us.” Miguel pulled the stick out of his mouth. The evening sunlight filtered through it, making it glimmer. Not much of the lollipop remained, now that Miguel had sucked on it for so long.

I feel the same way, Vincent thought to himself as he gazed out the window.

The bench where Oriana had sat earlier was now empty.