Chapter Five: A Child Named Akari Mitsukuri

 

 

 

Chapter Five: A Child Named Akari Mitsukuri

 

A peddler called out to Akari as she exited Marunochui Station on her way to work that day.

“Young miss worker! You look like you could use an anti-yokai talisman! It works well against the recent Raiju threat!”

“No thank you.”

Akari declined in clipped tones, hurrying past.

The book-burning protestors were out in full force, making a racket again. Akari was so sick of them. But the swelling of their ranks was in proportion to the increasing incidences of yokai trouble. The book collections of the rich elite all seemed to be susceptible to negative energy manifestations, just like the ones Akari had come up against during her side-hustle mission, so the Narrators were busy. They still hadn’t caught that Raiju either, and it kept popping up and causing random pockets of devastation in the city. In fact, public opinion of the Narrators’ Association had been growing more and more negative as of late.

Consequently, commuting to work had become an exhausting affair. Just give up and go home already, why don’t you? thought Akari as she took a narrow subpath through Hiyabi Park.

It was a fairly big detour, but the quietness of this part of the park gave her a few moments of peace on her way to work, and that was well worth it. As Akari walked along the quiet path, she still felt as tired as she had when she first woke up. But then she heard a strange noise coming from a nearby bush.

Curious, she moved closer and peeked in, immediately spotting a big clump of gray fur.

“…A dog?”

The animal was crouched down, so it was hard to tell, but it was small enough that Akari could have scooped it up in her arms if she’d wanted, and its fluffy tail was slim and elegant.

Trembling all over, the creature lifted its face to look at Akari. She realized she’d been mistaken. Its face was sharper than she’d thought, and on closer inspection, it had six legs. Its sleek body was somewhat beautiful, but it was no ordinary beast, that was for sure. And yet, its kind was not so rare in this country. Akari was pretty sure she knew what it was.

After all, this park was full of noticeboards warning people to “Beware of Animal Spirits.” These spirits posed no real threat to humans, but they often leaped out at people and frightened them. Sometimes they even drained a person’s vitality.

The beast was wary of her and looked quite dirty and disheveled, but it seemed to wish her no harm.

She’d left the house a little early today, so she had a few minutes to spare. Akari squatted beside it, examining the creature more closely.

“Believe me, I know it’s tough surviving in the big city. But if you stay here, the Narrators will find you and shut you up in a Kotogatari book, you know?”

The Narrators also performed exorcisms on ghosts and random yokai. The noticeboards in the park had the Narrators’ Association contact details on them. But Akari had no intention of reporting this. Animal spirits were a natural phenomenon. In Akari’s mind, humans had no right to deprive them of their rightful existence.

She was standing so close to the beast, and yet it hadn’t tried to flee from her. Perhaps it didn’t have the strength. It looked so skinny, as if it wasn’t getting enough to eat.

Akari recalled how horrified she’d been when she’d seen the food prices in the city, back when she first moved there. Thoughtfully, she pulled her bento lunch box out of her work bag.

“I think you’re probably new to the city, but I’ve been around and I can help you out. Let’s see… Oh, Mayoi, you’ve outdone yourself again.”

Akari yelped with delight as she lifted the lid off the box with a pop.

The box was crammed with ham-and-cheese sandwiches. Fresh green leaves gave the sandwiches some extra nutrition. There was also a juicy-looking loquat fruit as a side dish.

Akari had asked for something quick and simple for lunch. She’d been expecting rice balls, but she’d clearly underestimated Mayoi. Ah, what a treat.

Akari picked up a sandwich, tore it in half, and placed it on top of her lunch cloth on the ground.

The gray furry beast perked up its nose with interest. It rose off its haunches and leaned forward. Even yokai appreciated a good sandwich, it seemed. Akari was glad she had something tasty to offer it.

“You see? There’s plenty of good food to be had in the city if you’re willing to work for it. Oh, but don’t go eating any humans, okay? They’ll exorcise you for sure if you do that.” Speaking softly, she reached out to stroke the creature’s head.

She thought she felt a slight humming sensation in her fingertips as they grew close, but the fur was soft to the touch.

“You just keep on living the best way you know how.”

The beast stiffened under her touch but made no attempt to escape. Giving it a final stroke, Akari straightened up. It was time for her to be getting to the office.

She stepped out of the bushes and back onto the path, already excitedly anticipating polishing off those sandwiches for lunch.

“Miss Akari?”

Akari practically leaped out of her skin.

She could hear her heart hammering in her ears.

Turning slowly, she saw Mitsuko Maruyama standing there wearing a sweet-pea-patterned kimono.

Mitsuko probably hadn’t been expecting to run into her here. Her expression was stiff with surprise. Well, Akari’s was much the same. But she was also painfully aware of the closeness of the beast, which was still cowering in the bushes she’d just emerged from. Mitsuko would probably shriek with terror if she saw a real-life yokai, even a meek little one like that. She’d probably want to contact the Association immediately. Akari couldn’t let that happen.

Pasting on a nonchalant expression, Akari tried to distract Mitsuko.

“Fancy running into you here, Mitsuko! I really like that kimono you’ve got on today. What are those flowers? Sweet peas? Say, are you trying to avoid those protestors too?”

“Er… Miss Akari, what are you—”

Ignoring the other woman’s bewilderment, Akari grabbed Mitsuko’s hand and started to lead her away from the bushes.

“Let’s walk to the office together! It’s almost time for work, after all!”

No one can press you for explanations if you’re talking a mile a minute.

That was a little life trick Akari had learned at the girls’ school, when it seemed as if she was always being bombarded with questions about herself. Young Akari would grab the hand of her nosy classmate and begin running, distracting them with games.

Mitsuko came with her willingly, cheeks stained red with embarrassment. Good. This should give the little beast time to finish its sandwich.

“Miss Akari!”

Mitsuko finally seemed to have gathered the courage to dig in her heels just as they reached the park’s exit.

Akari turned an innocent, questioning gaze on Mitsuko, who smiled stiffly at her.

“I’m sorry, but…today I’m being sent to work elsewhere…”

“What, by Sumimata? Oh, is it that project you’ve been working on?”

Mitsuko nodded, looking awkward. Akari nodded too, figuring out what Mitsuko meant to say.

Sumimata Corporation had its head office, where Akari worked, but it also had several branch offices scattered throughout Marunochui. Akari had been dispatched to them all on various occasions to assist with certain tasks.

“So you were headed to another office this morning?”

Mitsuko nodded again, softly tugging her hand free. She grimaced apologetically at Akari, who merely shrugged and gave her a cheery wave.

Of all the girls who’d joined the company at the same time as her, Mitsuko was the most nondescript of the bunch. The other girls were clearly jealous that Mitsuko of all people had been chosen for an important project. Personally, Akari didn’t have a drop of company loyalty, but she could see how it would feel good to contribute to successful sales.

“That’s all right! I’m sorry I dragged you along with me like that. Well, good luck today!”

Mitsuko blinked several times before giving herself a little shake and clutching her shoulder bag tight.

“Thank you.”

Mitsuko didn’t really look happy, though, and that gave Akari pause.

She hurried to the office nonetheless.

∗∗∗

AFTER wrapping up the morning’s work as usual, Akari wolfed down her lunch and then headed to the company reference room to check something.

Even after donating half her sandwiches to the beast, she still had enough to feel satisfied. Now she could spend the rest of the lunch hour focused on finding out whatever she could about that gramophone clock the company sold.

She flipped through various files and ledgers under the dim glow of the electric light. Usually, people weren’t allowed in here, but Akari had been out for tea with the custodian several times and she’d gotten them to let her in.

“It looks like every fancy residence in the city has one of our gramophone clocks.”

Akari was going through Sumimata Corporation’s financial reports and invoices for that particular product. Incidentally, she’d also been asking the other girls at the company who worked directly with the sale of that clock for info. As she scanned the list of customers, she frowned.

From her research, Akari was rapidly coming to realize that the growth of Sumimata Corporation was directly connected to the successful sale of the gramophone grandfather clock.

Since the clocks were built to order, they were very exclusive. And, yes, here was the invoice for the residence she’d visited on her yokai mission. In fact, she was able to cross-reference several of the customer invoices with the names of homes where yokai attacks had recently occurred, as reported in the newspapers.

“It’s too much to call it a coincidence…”

While the clocks were indeed an exclusive item, the city was crammed with rich folk. There must have been hundreds, perhaps even thousands, of them in circulation.

“But even if they’re the cause of it, I still have no idea why.”

Apart from the fact that they played music, the clocks themselves were altogether unremarkable. Akari wasn’t even sure if there was any connection between the music and the yokai’s manifestation. Perhaps it was some other catalyst entirely.

Tomohito and Kansuke had both mentioned finding the sound strange, so she’d thought the answer must lay with the music the clocks played. But then again, they might have been just imagining it.

Next, she decided to look through the clock manual. There was a list of the available records for selection.

“There are even musical pieces created specifically for the clocks… Wait…what in the world…?”

One of the singers’ names caught her eye. It was Mitsuko Maruyama. The sounds coming from the clock had been sort of distorted, so Akari hadn’t noticed, but the composition must have been a person singing.

“So this is the new project Mitsuko’s been working on…”

She was sure Mitsuko had a lovely singing voice. It would sound quite scratchy and distorted on a record, though. Perhaps the song playing in that Nue mansion had been Mitsuko’s recording?

Singers and actors—performers in general, really—tended to be looked down upon by the general population. Akari thought those skills were actually impressive, but perhaps this was why Mitsuko had avoided talking about her work project: to avoid that stigma.

How strange that someone she knew was involved in all this. She thought back to their encounter that morning, the forlorn look in Mitsuko’s eye. She hadn’t seemed very happy.

Maybe she should invite Mitsuko out for lunch and find out what was wrong. If she could get Mitsuko to open up about it, perhaps she’d start venting and drop some useful info.

“But for now, I should ask Munakata if there have been cases of Kotogami responding to voices on record players.”

Akari left the reference room, a plan beginning to take shape in her mind.

∗∗∗

FIGHTING back periodic yawns, she made it through the afternoon’s work. She managed not to make any mistakes, but she knew her work speed was way down.

“Ugh, I’m so sleepy. Have to hold out until the end of the workday…”

Recently, Akari hadn’t been getting enough sleep.

Tomohito and the others hadn’t seemed to notice, but Akari knew she’d have to do something about it soon. She’d been having bad dreams, but she could never remember them when she woke up.

All she knew was that the dreams had started after the Nue incident.

“I just have to push through until bedtime. Or at least until I can make it home.”

What’s wrong with me? Akari wondered, just as she heard the voices of several employees talking behind her.

“I wonder what’s going to happen with that whole Raiju business.”

“We can’t rely on the Narrators. I want to believe things won’t end up like they did twelve years ago, but…”

Akari felt her chest go cold.

She knew it would be better not to turn around, but her body did so automatically anyway. She saw two male employees engaged in casual conversation.

“Twelve years ago was when that Aragami yokai disaster struck that village, right?”

“That’s it—that’s the one! It was in the papers. The whole village was annihilated. It was the worst disaster in the entire history of the Meijo period, wasn’t it?”

“Ah yes, that was very shocking.”

The men were gossiping away in their loud voices like they did every day. But today, Akari couldn’t seem to block them out.

“Those Narrators fumbled the whole thing badly. They couldn’t even take on one yokai, and as a result, the list of casualties was huge. I heard that incident was the reason the book-burning activists started their whole crusade.”

“Yokai are a huge problem to begin with. It’s a different world now, a civilized one. And yet they keep showing up and going on rampages. That village would have been saved if only they’d managed to seal the beast away properly.”

A slamming sound made Akari almost jump out of her skin.

A second later, she realized her palm was stinging. Oh…that sound. It was her hand, striking the desk. She blinked in surprise, then turned on the stunned-looking men with ferocity.

“Being sealed in a Kotogatari is, to a Kotogami, like being imprisoned! So watch what you’re saying!”

“What’s your problem?”

Akari didn’t even know what she was saying. She was in a fog from sleep deprivation. Nevertheless, she couldn’t hold back the angry words bubbling up from within her.

“Who made it this way?! Who decided that a Kotogami’s happiness must lie in having their Kotogatari read?! What kind of existence is that?!”

Her words still ringing in the air, Akari took a deep breath and felt her thoughts begin to clear.

Everyone was staring at her. The whole office, not just the gossipy men. Darn it, Akari thought. But nobody said anything back to her.

All she could do was apologize.

“I’m sorry. That was rude of me. Forget I spoke, please.”

“Uh, all right…”

As the men stood staring at her, dumbfounded, Akari scrambled to gather her things and leave.

Nausea was rising up inside her. She clutched at her collar, pulling it to give herself more room to breathe. If she ripped it, so be it.

Pale-faced and clammy, Akari didn’t notice Mitsuko, who had returned to the office at some point. The other woman was staring.

Akari wanted to go home. Go home and eat something good. She felt sick, but she knew that would make her feel so much better. And she wanted to take a bath. How lovely to be able to take a bath whenever she liked, without having to go to the public bathhouse…

“Miss Mitsukuri, a word, please.”

Someone called out to her as she shuffled quickly down the hallway.

Reluctantly, she turned. She couldn’t very well ignore someone from General Affairs.

The boxy-shouldered man walked up to Akari and casually handed her a document.

“Maybe you don’t need it anymore, but it’s available now if you do. I just came to inform you.”

Oh. So they’d finally gotten it taken care of, it seemed. Akari blinked, feeling numb.

∗∗∗

“WELCOME home, Mistress Akari.”

Back at the Bookhouse, Tomohito met her with his usual beaming smile.

Akari felt some of the tension instantly leave her body.

“I’m home…”

“Indeed, Mistress! Mayoi has made a splendid ‘pot-au-feu’ for dinner tonight! I hear it’s a sort of Western stew.”

Stew… The word made Akari’s stomach gurgle. She must be okay still, if she had an appetite.

Akari nodded distractedly, and Tomohito’s face fell.

“Whatever is wrong, Mistress Akari?”

“Huh? What? Nothing. I’m hungry. I’d like to eat right away.”

“Certainly, Mistress, only—”

“Mayoi! Kansuke! I’m home!”

Akari took off her boots and headed into the living room, where she found Kansuke sprawled on the sofa, a bottle hanging loosely from his hand. When he saw her, he waved the empty bottle in greeting.

“Hello, girly. I was just having a little pre-dinner drink.”

“When are you not having a drink?”

Mayoi materialized in the room then and picked up Kansuke’s empty bottle.

“The answer to that is never.”

“I helped out around the house earlier, didn’t I?”

“You did the bare minimum.”

Mayoi put her hands on her hips and glared at Kansuke, who firmly met her gaze.

Akari had gotten used to this scenario playing out whenever she came home. Its predictability was somewhat soothing.

And somehow cozy. Comfortable. Like a real family…

But she knew she shouldn’t get too used to this. They were spirits, and she was just the custodian. It wouldn’t do to get attached.

Mayoi was looking up at Akari with a bemused expression.

“Mistress, dinner is prepared. Would you like to eat now?”

“Yes. I’m starving.”

“Save me a bowl.”

“If you don’t work, you don’t eat.”

Mayoi tutted loudly at Kansuke, who was still lolling on the sofa. Akari snorted with unexpected mirth.

The pot-au-feu was sort of like a nimono stew, but without the soy sauce flavor. It had a chicken broth base, and Akari found it very warming and soothing.

“For a Western stew, it goes surprisingly well with Japanese rice.”

“I know, right?”

Tomohito watched solemnly as Akari and Kansuke nodded to each other, making noises of appreciation between mouthfuls.

“Mistress Akari, you seem to enjoy these Western flavors…”

“If it’s good and I can eat it, I’m happy. That’s me in a nutshell.”

“I see. I’ll bear that in mind.”

Akari raised an eyebrow as Tomohito nodded gravely. Then she noticed that Mayoi was looking at her.

“What’s wrong, Mayoi?”

“Has something happened, Mistress? You’re not eating your usual amount.”

“Come to think of it…usually she’d have asked for seconds by now.”

Now Kansuke was on her case, too. Akari gazed down at her bowl.

It was still about half full with pot-au-feu. Her rice bowl wasn’t empty either. Normally, she’d go for a second helping, but today she shook her head.

“Not today. Anyway, never mind that. I wanted to talk to you all about something. I heard from General Affairs today. The new dorm building has just finished being constructed.”

Mayoi and Kansuke both looked visibly thunderstruck.

But then Kansuke nodded.

“I see how it is.”

Akari wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but before she could ask, she was distracted by Mayoi’s trembling lower lip.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes. We promised that I’d only be here for a short amount of time.”

It was good timing. If she stayed here any longer, she’d get attached for sure.

She’d wanted to give them a heads up, but she knew it was still a shock. Mayoi’s face crumpled, and the little girl vanished.

Given Mayoi’s past, this must have been especially hard for her. Akari felt terrible. But she wasn’t a Narrator, and never would be. This was best for everyone.

Akari took another sip of the stew as Kansuke put his sake cup down on the table.

“You seemed to be enjoying yourself here. Despite that, you plan to leave?” Kansuke’s expression was tight, but he couldn’t hide the arrogant tone in his voice.

Akari was not to be swayed, however.

“I’ve been comfortable here. I was contracted as a custodian, but it’s basically just been like living here. I’ve even been able to earn extra income. And I’ve enjoyed getting to know all of you too. Tomohito’s been kind of a pill, though.”

“I’ve enjoyed it as well. You’re the one who summoned me, after all. Tomohito has been a pill, though; you’re right there.”

“Why does your bonding experience have to come at my expense?”

Tomohito pouted pathetically, but Akari and Kansuke just grinned at each other and ignored him.

“Well, you’re a living, human woman, girly. We spirits have no right to interfere in your affairs. But can’t you tell us why you’d want to leave? I don’t think Mayoi will accept it without an explanation.”

“I just…”

Akari didn’t know how to answer him.

Living at the Bookhouse had been extremely comfortable. She was even able to keep a safe distance from the stories she hated. It was a little tiring effectively having two “jobs,” but nothing she couldn’t handle.

The spirits had given her a lot of trouble as well, to be sure, but they weren’t bad people.

Nevertheless, the very concept of handling a Kotogatari tome sent electric shocks of fear up her spine.

And if she stayed here as the Bookhouse’s custodian, then sooner or later she’d have to narrate for these spirits—she just knew it. There wouldn’t be any way of getting out of it.

Akari had been afraid of this the whole time. She felt safe now with Mayoi, Kansuke, and Tomohito. But the other, unknown spirits in the shrine room… Perhaps what she’d really been avoiding wasn’t stories in general, but the actual process of narration and the power of the Kotogami themselves…

“No, no, it couldn’t be that…”

“What is wrong, Mistress?”

Akari shook her head, hard. She needed to stay focused on what was right in front of her.

“It’s nothing, really. I was never an apprentice Narrator to begin with, so it doesn’t make any sense for me to be the custodian of a Bookhouse like this. Tomohito, I need to get in touch with Munakata. Can you make that happen?”

She turned to Tomohito, trying to change the subject. He just gave her his usual polite bow.

“Certainly, Mistress. I shall go tomorrow. If that’s all right?”

“Oh. Yes, of course.”

Akari nodded, but something seemed strange.

She’d forgotten, but Tomohito had never protested when she’d talked about leaving the Bookhouse before, even though he’d begun their acquaintance by entreating her to be his mistress and then talking her into taking the custodian job. And even though they’d agreed it would only be for a limited period, his calm acceptance of her announcement had her feeling somehow dissatisfied.

Still, there was no point digging into the motivations of Tomohito Yagyou. Akari decided to drop it and got up from the table. Then she remembered what she’d found out at work and turned back.

“There was something else I wanted to talk to Munakata ab—”

But Akari stopped midsentence.

Everything in the room seemed to suddenly go dark. She felt her knees tremble and buckle.

The pot-au-feu threatened to make a reappearance as well, but Akari gulped it back down.

“Girly, what’s wrong?!”

Akari fell into Tomohito’s ready arms as Kansuke raised his voice in alarm.

“Sorry, Tomohito… Thank you…”

“Please permit me, Mistress.”

Tomohito held firm as Akari tried to squirm away from him, pressing his gloved hand to her neck.

How long has he been wearing those gloves? Akari thought in a daze as Tomohito frowned down at her.

“Mistress Akari, you’re burning up.”

“Huh? Oh, yes. I do feel quite hot.”

Akari hadn’t realized it until someone else pointed it out, but perhaps the fever was the reason she couldn’t think straight today. Kansuke sighed, chiding her in a strict voice.

“Girly, if you’re not well, then just say so. We can’t have you getting sick on us now, can we?”

“I only just realized… I’m sure I’ll be fine if I can just get some sleep…”

The concern in Kansuke’s tone disconcerted her. Akari had always been alone, and she didn’t know how to handle having other people fussing over her like this.

If she didn’t work, she couldn’t get by. So forcing herself to keep going, no matter what, had become second nature to her.

This sickness…it had to be caused by her lack of sleep lately. Now that she realized that, she felt even more exhausted. If she could just get to bed, she was sure to get better. It wasn’t serious enough to need a doctor’s visit. Colds could be healed well enough by resting. She only hoped she’d improve fast enough to make it to work tomorrow…

“Excuse me.”

As Akari tried to stumble to the door, Tomohito intercepted her, swinging her up into his arms.

She blinked blearily at him as he frowned with displeasure.

“I shall carry you to your room. Please call in sick to work tomorrow as well.”

“No, I have to go to work…”

“Please, Mistress.”

Akari swallowed her protests, gazing into Tomohito’s glistening eyes.

Her fainting spell had come on so suddenly, and Tomohito was so insistent on caring for her…Akari had no strength to resist.

Head still fuzzy, Akari lay against the Kotogami’s chest obediently and let him carry her upstairs.

∗∗∗

RED flames were dancing.

Through the haze of her mind, she knew this was her childhood village. She was home again.

The flames were coming from the fires burning throughout the village. Everything was destroyed…crushed. Bodies were lying everywhere. The corpses of the village folk, who’d been chatting together, going about the business of their lives only yesterday…

They were all dead. Akari knew it.

She looked down at her hands. A child’s hands. Of course. She’d only been about seven when it happened. Clumsy Akari kept falling and getting up again as she ran through the village, desperate. Her breath was harsh in her lungs, the blood pounding in her ears.

In her cold, sweaty hands, she was clutching a book.

A brand-new, sturdily bound book.

How could this have happened?

In the heart of the village, two demon yokai were fighting. With a sweep of its mighty arm, one crushed a nearby house into wood splinters, summoning the power of a storm. It was a terrifying, otherworldly sight.

But Akari’s eyes were fixed on the other yokai.

It was big, and gold in color. Its body a grotesque, imposing form.

It had manifested in that form, exactly as Akari had narrated it.

But…they had asked her to do it. The Narrator had asked her. And her friend had too…

Narrate, and we can be together.

“So, what am I to you?”

Her friend was always so straightforward with her. And she could sense how much he expected of her.

And so Akari had answered proudly, in her usual manner.

The only difference…the book in her hand. And the words she narrated.

“To me, you are the strongest demon! Stronger than any other!”

“That’s right. No one can beat me. I am fear personified, and no one can stop my wrath! Isn’t that right?”

She should never have nodded.

But she did. Emphatically. Then she’d backed it up with words…

As entreated, she’d narrated out loud the old village legend. It didn’t really match her perception of her friend, but he had told her to read it just as it was written in the book. But who was he, again?

She didn’t think it would matter. Regardless of how she narrated, the friend she knew would appear. Or so she’d thought.

But when she read out that name she was hearing for the first time, something completely different appeared.

It was the brutally cruel demon whose tale had been told in the village for as long as anyone could remember.

The friend Akari had wanted to meet…this horrible demon surely wasn’t him.

“But it was your words that manifested me.”

It was the same voice—the same voice she knew.

It was the same one that had always spoken to her, the one she’d never dreamed to doubt. She wanted to scream that it was wrong, but the words were stuck in her throat. Instead, she could only tremble and shake.

This is all my fault.

Akari had narrated it wrong, she must have, and that was why it had become that horrible yokai.

No, what if she hadn’t done it wrong? She’d read the Kotogatari exactly as it was written…so the creature summoned must’ve been exactly as described in the account…

Was the friend she had so cared for nothing but an illusion all along?

Tears began to spill from her eyes, unbidden.

The yokai was terrifying, and its violence was horrifying, and the village she’d loved was in ruins…but somehow the worst thing of all was…

Hands and feet freezing. Air painfully pumping through her lungs. Something jumped in front of her…

She tried to run, but her legs were too tired. She couldn’t make it another step.

A big hand came down in front of her, as if reaching to offer assistance, but she felt a flare of pain up her back as something burned her flesh.

“Aaagh!!!”

She could hear her dear friend crying out, but she could make no sound in return.

She couldn’t breathe anymore. The pain was too much.

Was she…going to die?

But just then, her body was lifted into the air, her vision obscured.

“Forget, forget all of this… This was only a bad dream.”

Someone was speaking to her in a kind voice. A somehow sad voice…an apologetic voice.

No, this was all her fault…so how could she forget? If she forgot, then everything would be lost…

Akari made one final vow to herself…

She would never narrate again. Not ever.

∗∗∗

AKARI’S eyes flew open and her body stiffened. She couldn’t catch her breath. Her heart was hammering against her rib cage.

She could tell her fever had only worsened. It didn’t look as though it would break before morning.

She was lying on the bed in her room. The surroundings were familiar and comforting, but everything seemed fuzzy around the edges.

It was still dark. Probably close to midnight.

She didn’t feel as if she could sleep any longer. She’d finally remembered the dreams she’d been having.

“Why am I only recalling this now…?”

Akari’s memories of the incident were so hazy. Before she knew it, the village was empty and she was alone…until a Narrator had come along and saved her.

With most of her memory gone, her home village had started to feel as though it were a million miles away. She’d even forgotten what had happened there.

How could she have forgotten it? That place had meant so much to her.

She supposed it couldn’t be helped. She’d left the village forever twelve years ago, after all…

Akari shifted. She felt heavy and sluggish and sick. There was something damp resting on her forehead; she could feel it.

She removed it with her hand, realizing it was a damp cloth. She recalled getting out of her kimono herself and crawling into bed, but she didn’t remember putting this on her forehead.

“Mistress Akari…?”

Akari turned her head to the side and saw Tomohito standing in the doorway, light from the hallway spilling in around him. He was carrying a basin of water.

“Are you awake?”

“What…are you…?” As she mumbled thickly, Tomohito’s face lit up and he bowed apologetically, his tone anxious.

“Forgive me…I know you said I must not enter your room. But the nursing book says to monitor the patient closely, and I just didn’t feel right about leaving you. If you could make an exception just this once…”

Akari smiled a little as Tomohito continued to sweat.

“There’s no need to act so afraid of me.”

“I…I see.”

Tomohito smiled with relief and snapped on the lights, then approached the bed and set the basin down on top of the Western-style chest of drawers. Then he scrutinized Akari’s face closely.

“Is there anything you need? If you can’t sleep, I could tell you a bedtime story. Oh, no, you wouldn’t like that…”

Tomohito chewed on his bottom lip. Akari smiled a little and croaked out a request.

“I’d like some water.”

“Ah, certainly.”

Tomohito brought a cup to her lips. Akari was a little taken aback but tried to sit up to drink from it. As she did so, she felt a streak of pain in her back.

“Tss!”

“What is wrong, Mistress?”

“My wound hurts…”

Akari wished she’d never said that. Tomohito blanched and gasped. He grabbed her shoulders and tried to pull her upright, but she shoved him off.

“It’s fine; get off. It’s an old wound…more of a scar now, really.”

“I…I see.”

“Can I just have the water, please?”

Tomohito hesitated before offering her the cup of water again.

Akari took a sip and realized she was far thirstier than she’d thought. She grabbed the cup and began gulping the water down. Tomohito watched her from his seat beside her bed, his brows knitted with concern.

Akari wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe it was the fever.

She got the impression from his intense staring that Tomohito wasn’t going to drop the issue, so she put down the cup and turned her back to him. Gathering her hair over one shoulder, she pulled down the back of her collar, just a little.

“M-Mistress Akari?!”

“You can see it, can’t you? My scar, I mean.”

Tomohito had yelped at first, but as he realized what she was doing, he fell silent. Save for a gulp, that is.

He could see part of her scar, formed by the deep raking of claws. The scar was discolored and stood out from her skin. It stretched from her neck all the way down her torso, right to her lower back.

It was the kind of scar that drew concerned comments from the other patrons at the public bathhouse. Akari had long ago grown tired of this, and she always tried to use the bathhouse at unpopular hours.

This scar was the only remaining proof of Akari surviving the tragedy of her childhood village.

“It starts to hurt when it rains a lot, or when I’m not feeling well. That’s all it is.”

Recently, with all the bad dreams, she’d awoken every morning with her scar stinging.

Akari quickly pulled her collar back up. Tomohito wasn’t really a young man, he only looked like one, but she still felt awkward having his gaze on her bare skin.

“Are the bad dreams related in some way?”

Akari looked over her shoulder at him in surprise as he murmured tentatively. He was gazing into her eyes, a tearful expression on his face.

Akari sighed and flopped back down against the pillows. If he’d been there all night, he must have noticed her night terror. She still didn’t feel sleepy, so perhaps this was a good opportunity to talk.

“I’ve just been remembering the past a little.”

It was probably the Nue that triggered her. And that gossip she’d heard at the office had been enough to give her dream tangible form. Tomohito sat silently beside her, listening earnestly.

“Tomohito, do you know about that Aragami demon attack that happened twelve years ago?”

Tomohito’s face went blank. It seemed that incident had left its mark on spirits as well as humans.

“I recall…a yokai that was enshrined in a village went on a rampage… The Narrators managed to seal it into a Kotogatari, but it was too late… The whole village was annihilated.”

“I think I might have been the cause of it all.”

Tomohito’s eyes widened as Akari debated on how best to phrase it.

Her body felt sluggish from the fever, but her mind was clear now. She felt she was starting to realize why she hated stories—no, not hated, feared—and why they gave her such a nagging discomfort inside.

She kept talking, as if cataloging her memories out loud. “I was friends with a spirit, you know.”

The words were spilling out, sounding nonsensical even to her own ears. Tomohito looked stunned, but he listened without comment.

“On the outskirts of my childhood village there was this kubizuka…you know, one of those burial mounds for people whose heads were severed in battle? It was kind of my playground. I always went there alone to play. And there was this voice, coming from the mound. It would always chat with me. It was a spirit, enshrined in the mound…”

The spirit in question had been cruel and brutal, and its tale was part of the folklore of the village.

It was pure evil incarnate. It kidnapped children from their beds, ate rich men alive, and stole anything it could get its hands on. It killed everyone who tried to stop it. The Imperial Court trembled in fear at the mention of the beast’s name.

Eventually, the beast was beheaded by the Narrators, but its soul’s wrath continued. In an attempt to appease the spirit, they honored it by enshrining its head in a sacred kubizuka mound. The same kubizuka where Akari had played, on the outskirts of her village.

But the voice that came from the mound and spoke to her…it was kind. It set her soul at ease.

She couldn’t remember what the spirit had said to her…but she knew she had come to regard him as a treasured friend.

“…A Narrator came to the village, and I think I told them about the spirit… I wanted someone else to know about my friend. Then one day that Narrator brought me to the kubizuka and handed me a book…

“And he asked me…to narrate the tale of the village demon.”

The Narrator’s name was Neo, and he’d showed concern for Akari as a child.

“It’s to protect the village.”

He’d said something like that…but at the time, Akari hadn’t understood.

He told her that if she just did this one thing, then, in exchange, her spirit friend would be freed from its kubizuka. It could run through the fields with Akari, eat meals with her, and go on all sorts of adventures with her…

She remembered thinking, How? But the prospect of freeing her friend seemed so thrilling, and wasn’t Neo her friend too, after all?

“So I narrated…and manifested a demon. And after that, my village was no more.”

Looking back on it now, she knew that the book Neo had handed to her was a demon’s Kotogatari.

She still didn’t know why Neo chose her for this. She was just a child, with none of the abilities of a Narrator. But her narration had indeed manifested the demon, and it had crushed the village.

It was easy to kid herself that the whole thing had been a childish delusion. That she had done nothing wrong, and that she alone had been spared the rampage out of dumb luck and nothing more.

But after, when she’d been sent to live with relatives and was still grappling with survivor’s guilt, Neo had come to check up on her. He’d told her never to tell anyone the truth about the massacre. He’d told her to forget everything.

That alone—his concern—had made Akari suspect that she’d done something terrible after all…

Whatever Neo’s motive had been, Akari had never known it.

“I narrated a story out loud. That’s all. But because of that, I lost my hometown, my family. That’s why I’m so afraid of stories…”

Putting her true feelings into words at long last…it brought her an incredible and instant sense of relief.

Her story was confusing and fragmented and made little sense; she knew that. But Tomohito listened calmly without interrupting, and Akari sighed, feeling as though she’d unburdened herself of something heavy she’d been carrying for years.

“Do you regret that you survived, Mistress Akari?”

“No. No, of course not.”

If it weren’t for Akari still being alive, no one would be left to remember her peaceful village as it once was. She had to keep on living, if only for that reason.

“But you regret that you narrated the tale of that demon…who you thought was your friend?”

Akari winced. Tomohito had prodded her old mental wounds.

But finally, she knew how she really felt.

“…It was my fault. That’s how I felt…how I feel now.”

“Mistress?”

Now that she’d said it, she felt the floodgates open.

Tomohito sat gazing at her in bewilderment.

“I told the tale of a brutish, cruel, repulsive demon! And that demon appeared exactly as I described it! I was so scared! And where was my beloved friend, the one I’d yearned to meet in person for so long? Was the friend I trusted just something I made up in my mind? I couldn’t stand it! I wanted to escape from everything! But I turned that demon into a Kotogami! I sealed it into the Kotogatari and made it real again and gave it power!”

There was more, but Akari couldn’t remember.

If her words had been taken as orders to a Kotogami…then it was the same as if Akari had destroyed the village herself.

She was a terrible person. Not only for the destruction of the village. Not only for the death of her parents. But also for taking away her friend’s freedom and damning its soul to reside in a book forevermore.

“I’m…so sorry…”

The loss of her parents, the destruction of her village…she’d suffered so much. But that was her curse to bear, as a survivor. After all…her sins were great.

Maybe with her narration she’d distorted her spirit friend somehow, out of hubris, out of longing to see him in person. And then when he appeared, she had rejected him, seen him as a monster. She hated herself for that.

She had no right to her tears. She clutched at the sheets, trying to hold the burning emotion within her chest, to keep it from spilling out.

A white-gloved hand covered hers and gently squeezed.

Akari lifted her head in confusion, meeting Tomohito’s soft gaze.

His eyes shimmered with deep sadness, and Akari forgot her pain for a moment.

“It is all right, Mistress Akari. That kind spirit you believed you met…I’m sure they were really everything you thought they were. So please don’t blame yourself.”

“No, you’re wrong. The demon enshrined in that Kotogatari…it appeared, just as I narrated it.”

That was the truth, wasn’t it? But Tomohito shook his head slowly, smiling.

“Have you forgotten already? How you yourself materialized Kansuke in a different form, simply by changing your narration?”

“Huh…?”

Akari gasped as she stared at Tomohito. Yes…while the true nature of a Kotogami was always the same, the manifested form could be manipulated. Tomohito’s tone was light as he spoke to her, but she could see a hint of struggle deep in his eyes…

As always, though, his true thoughts were unreadable.

“You blame yourself. But have you never thought that you may have been deceived by that spirit?”

“To what end?”

“Perhaps it used you…for a way to free itself from the kubizuka.”

This hadn’t occurred to Akari until just now. She blinked several times and Tomohito’s smile broadened.

“I can tell from your expression that you have never considered this. What I can say is that I believe this spirit cared for you, no matter the form it took. Whether a fearsome demon on the outside or not. I believe that it was happy to be your friend, happy to be manifested into a Kotogami form by you.”

“That can’t be true…”

“But it can. I should know. I, too, am a spirit.”

She could feel his hand trembling on hers.

He was speaking with such conviction. But why were his hands shaking? Holding Akari’s hand, Tomohito continued with a bittersweet smile.

“Underneath a kubizuka, you can’t be with humans this way…or hold their hand like this. It’s not all happy things, of course, but it’s nice, being in the outside world. Destroying your village, though…yes, that was unforgivable. But demons are…unaccustomed to human ways and human feeling. There must have been some extenuating circumstances, I think. I believe your friend would never have meant to hurt you.”

“Really?”

Feeling guilty for wanting to believe him, Akari gazed into his eyes. Tomohito nodded in return.

“Of course. I truly believe myself lucky to be able to be by your side, Mistress Akari.”

“Wait a minute, why are you inserting yourself into this story?”

Akari’s expression was suddenly bewildered, her pain momentarily forgotten. Tomohito stared back at her, his eyes big and round.

“Have I said something strange?”

“Yes, but you’re always saying strange things, so it’s okay.”

Akari dismissed it, but Tomohito looked alarmed and started speaking more quickly.

“Then…then how about this? What if that spirit you were such good friends with felt bad about scaring you and regrets that it couldn’t protect you? And even now it wants to be useful to you, to help you in any way it—”

“Useful? Helpful? Like you, you mean? See, you’re putting yourself into the demon’s position again! You are SO playing devil’s advocate!”

“But… But I…!”

Tomohito sputtered, and Akari burst out laughing at him. He pouted, but she didn’t care.

“That sounds like a fairy tale.”

“Ah, forgive me! You may find this kind of conjecture to be silly, fanciful even…but I think it’s important to consider all possible angles!”

“You don’t have to get so worked up. I actually feel a lot better now, thanks to you.”

Akari smiled playfully, and Tomohito’s eyes widened.

Yes…such was the power of stories.

To entertain, to amuse. And sometimes to make us cry. To lighten our hearts, just for a while. As a child, she’d consoled her lonely soul with tales, told by friends whose faces she could no longer recall. How happy she had been to listen.

She’d forgotten it, but it had returned to her now. Her true love of stories…

It would be so nice if what Tomohito said was true. But the demon who was her friend had disappeared, none knew where to. A normal girl like Akari had no way of finding out. All she could do was imagine.

Meeting Tomohito and the others had made her realize that not all spirits were bad. Some were good—and it was all right to think of them that way. They had taught her that the shape of a tale can change based on the telling. It was all open to interpretation.

“I don’t think my discomfort with stories will change going forward, though. But I think—yes. I think I can manage to read some fiction again. After all…I’ll be lonely by myself, after I leave here. A hobby might help.”

“I see. I will be lonely too.”

Akari looked at Tomohito with some surprise.

“You haven’t tried to stop me from leaving. Will you really be lonely without me?”

“We knew this arrangement would have an expiration date. It is all right. You’ve left me with so many wonderful memories to draw on.”

“Are there so many? It’s only been two months. For a spirit, that’s like the blink of an eye, isn’t it?”

“In truth, yes…”

Her fever had made her speak her mind much more than she usually would. But Tomohito simply smiled.

He continued, a hint of restraint in his expression.

“If you feel lonely, please return here anytime. Mayoi and Kansuke will always welcome you. Mayoi has overcome her trauma thanks to you. And Kansuke has cast off his curse. There are still many more Kotogami who would seek your narration. I am slightly jealous, but I assure you, there is no need for you to be alone any longer.”

“I’m not a child anymore, you know.”

“Really? Well, a matter of five or ten human years makes little difference to a Kotogami. So you may as well still be a child.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Grinning a little, Akari rolled her eyes. Tomohito gazed steadily at her, unconcerned.

Back when this all started, Akari could never have imagined having a heart-to-heart with a spirit like this. Even though she felt as if she’d been through the emotional ringer with this one in particular.

“I am leaving, though. I’m going back to being a regular person.”

Akari still believed she had no right to be narrating stories.

“I understand. I accept your decision. Now please get some rest, Mistress. I shall leave now.”

“Aren’t you supposed to stay with the patient until she’s asleep?”

“May…may I?”

Blame it on the fever. Akari cleared her throat, then snuggled down under the covers as Tomohito chuckled and settled back into the bedside chair.

“Tomohito…thank you for everything.”

“Of course, Mistress. I shall serve you always.”

Just as she was drifting off to sleep, Akari realized something.

Tomohito had told her she was free to return to the Bookhouse anytime, that Mayoi and Kansuke would always be there to welcome her.

He had not mentioned himself.