Chapter 3: Invited To A Party (Not That Kind, The Other Kind)

*1*

Tanya stared down at the letter passed on to her from the Adventurers’ Guild. Laplace looked over her shoulder at the contents, then let out a low whistle.

“Now what’s this about? Some kind of party, hmm?”

“Oh, hi, Laplace. Yeah, it looks like we’ve been invited to the royal soirée at the castle. They’re holding a dance party in recognition of Ode’s most hardworking constituents.”

“Hmmm, I see. So it’s a ‘wine and dine’ sort of party.”

“Right.”

“Not the ‘POW POW’ sort of party.”

“Correct—although it says here they’d like us to provide additional security in addition to attending as guests.”

The royal soirée was one of the most important annual events in all of Pajan—and Lilium was invited.

“Oho, interesting. We’re small-time celebrities now that we’ve won the Sparring Tournament, eh?” Laplace joked. “In that case, just leave it to your trusty Great Sorceress! I’ll whip us up some fabulous evening wear!”

“Yes, please! That would be wonderful! Ooh, I’m kind of nervous about attending...”

“Really? I’m not nervous at all! Oh, but...”

“But what?”

There was a brief pause as Laplace’s expression shifted ever so slightly, taking on the barest hint of melancholy.

“Will that incompetent third-rate Court Grand Mage be there, do you think? Maxwell, or whatever his name is?”

The implication behind this question wasn’t lost on Tanya... which is why she decided to hold back, just a tiny bit.

It would have been so easy to say “What’s wrong?” or “You know you can talk to me about it, right?”

But something made her hesitate.

So instead, she changed the subject.

“...I wonder what color my dress should be.”

After a discussion at the Little Vixen, it was decided that only Tanya and Laplace would attend the soirée.

“Neither of you are going?! Why not?!” Tanya demanded.

Katherine snickered. “Well, the thing about the royal soirée is... the party isn’t limited to just the castle, y’know!”

“What do you mean?”

“Every year, for that night only, they open the castle grounds to the public and hold an outdoor festival. That way all the uninvited, regular folks can still get in on the fun, y’know? It’s a time-honored tradition or whatever!”

“Wow, really? But... I mean, we were invited, so...”

Katherine’s smirk deepened. “Yeah, but the outdoor festival is where they put all the food stands!”

“Food stands...? Wait... You mean...?!”

“Yep! The Little Vixen’s going mobile, baby!”

Nadine nodded. “And I promised Katherine I would help her run the stand.”

“Oh, I had no idea!”

“Yep. We’re gonna sell those chicken bites and potato wedges you two taste-tested. Plus some ice-cold beer!”

“Man, that sounds great!”

“I’ve always wanted to try my hand at cooking, so I’m really looking forward to it!” Nadine beamed.

“Yeah? Well then, I guess we’ll be splitting up. Have lots of fun out there for us!”

“Will do! The plan’s to make a killing in sales, heh heh!” Katherine held up two fingers in a peace sign.

Nadine shyly followed suit. “You can count on me!”

Her smile was as radiant as the sun itself.

*2*

And so the big day rolled around at last.

Tanya looked around, her eyes sparkling with excitement. This was her first time at Ode Castle, and it was beautiful. No, really—they had chandeliers and everything.

Laplace was in equally high spirits. She had added an extra layer of embroidery to her usual black dress, and she was looking gorgeous.

“Très bon! You look simply ravishing, Tanya!”

“You really think so?”

In place of her usual armor, Tanya was wearing a fanciful evening gown. It was bright red in color, and the skirt was styled to look like a rose in bloom. As for her footwear—

“...Um, Laplace...”

“What is it, Tanya?”

“These shoes really make my feet hurt!”

She was wearing a pair of stiletto heels.

“Do they? My feet never hurt because I float all the time.”

“Rrgh... If only I could use levitation magic...”

“Want me to cast it on you?”

“Oh, um...”

Before she could decide, however, someone called out to them from behind. They turned to find a man wearing a perfectly pressed suit—probably one of the castle attendants. He looked to be the very picture of a butler, although his official title was surely more impressive.

“Terribly sorry to interrupt your conversation,” the butler began, wearing a perfunctory smile, “but we cannot permit any oversized weapons within the castle.”

“Hmm?”

“Oh!”

Indeed, in sharp contrast to her flowery dress, Tanya was wearing the Not-Excalibur on her back, just like always.

“You’re from... Lilium, is it?” the butler asked as he checked their invitation.

“Yes, that’s right. The letter requested our services as a security measure, which is why I brought my sword.”

“Be that as it may... could you be more discreet with it in some fashion? After all, it clashes so terribly with your resplendent gown.”

At this, Tanya glanced around. There were a handful of other guests wearing swords with their fashionable attire, likely for the same reason Tanya had brought hers. But those guests—

“They’re all men!”

In other words: they weren’t wearing gowns. They were wearing clothes and shoes that were made with comfort in mind, and naturally, their swords didn’t clash much at all. After all, their outfits were designed for that purpose.

“So they’re allowed to have their swords out, but I’m not? We were all invited for the same reason!”

“I’m afraid it goes against our dress code to wear a gown and a sword at the same time.”

The butler refused to concede a single inch.

Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to—What am I THINKING?

“I promised myself I’d stop shrugging my shoulders at this stuff,” Tanya muttered as the butler wordlessly walked away. “Hey, Laplace?”

“What is it, Tanya?”

“Can you make these clothes really badass?!”

Laplace put a finger to her cheek in contemplation...

*3*

Meanwhile, outside the castle: people, people, people, as far as the eye could see!

The outdoor festival had drawn a massive crowd of commoners, and spirits were high. Food stands were in rows packed tight as sardines and illuminated by paper lanterns. Everywhere you looked, visitors were singing and dancing and eating and drinking to their hearts’ content.

One stand in particular was decorated with two big signs that read: Everybody’s Favorite, The Little Vixen! and Lilium-Approved!

“Here we go! Time to rake in the cash or whatever!” Katherine declared, hands on her hips.

She was wearing a white button-down shirt with a black tie and a waist apron, her polished leather shoes gleaming in the lantern light. It was a simple, classy look that won murmurs of approval from everyone who passed by. Beside her, Nadine stood wearing the exact same uniform; their athletic physiques only served to further enhance the overall aesthetic.

“Wow! You look so awesome!”

“Heh heh heh! Darn right I do! But... thanks. Fried chicken bites! Get your fried chicken bites!”

With the help of their speedy, efficient service, the chicken bites and potato wedges (not to mention that ice-cold beer) sold like crazy. As Katherine ran the register, Nadine deftly plated each order.

“Hey, you’re pretty good at this! Seems like you know exactly how much to serve, and you’ve got all the prep work covered, too. You sure you’ve never cooked before?” Katherine asked.

“Honest, I haven’t. You see, um... my fingers...”

“Huh?”

“This was a long, long time ago, but... back when I used to help with the family business, I worked with a lot of poisonous plants every day.”

“Making poison tinctures, or what?”

“Yes, that sort of thing. Because of that, my hands were... tainted. Try as I might, I could never completely eliminate the toxic chemicals from my fingertips, so... if I tried to cook something, I would inevitably poison whatever food I made.”

Slowly, hesitantly, Nadine laid bare a tiny fragment of her past.

“Oh, gotcha. So that’s why you’ve always avoided cooking.”

“Yes, exactly... Sorry for being such a downer.”

“Nah, it’s fine. So what if you’re inexperienced? You can just learn as you go!”

“...Huh?”

“Like I said, your prep work’s really good! And we need to start frying up a new batch, so... wanna give it a try?”

“B-But—”

“Don’t worry. I’m right here to help you. Besides, you remember what my best spell is?”

“Oh, um... The special Fireball?”

“Yep, Fox-Fireball! And the key to good cooking is heat control!”

As she spoke, Katherine slid the raw chicken into the oil, where it began to crackle and pop—proof that it was heated to the perfect temperature.

Just then, a scream rang out in the crowd. Nadine looked over and spotted a young girl sitting on the ground like she’d been knocked backwards. Next to her stood a man with a large build.

“He... He touched my butt!” the girl shouted in a quavering voice.

“Whoops! Sorry! My hand slipped!” the man replied without a hint of remorse.

“What?”

“These crowds are really cramped, you feel me? It was bound to happen! If you don’t want people touching you, you’d better learn to protect yourself!” he laughed.

“Wh... Wha...” The young girl was so baffled, she could scarcely speak. All the color had drained from her face.

“Poor thing,” Nadine whispered, biting her lip.

The man’s size was intimidating, and no one dared to pick a fight with him...

“Sorry, Katherine, but we’ll have to put this cooking lesson on the back-burner!”

And with that, Nadine dashed over to the girl.

“Are you alright, miss?”

“Th-Thank you... I’m sorry for... being a buzzkill...”

“You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong.”

But then Nadine heard whispering from the crowd around them:

“Why would she come here when she knew the place would be packed?”

“If she hates crowds that much, she could’ve just waited until later.”

“I mean, if her personal bubble’s so big, then what’s she doing at a festival, anyway?”

“She’s probably lying for attention. I feel bad for that guy!”

It was awful. She’d only come here to enjoy the festival like everyone else... and now they’d decided this meant she was to blame? Nadine glared around at the individuals who had voiced their “concerns.”

“Eeek!” one of them shrieked. Intimidated by her “I will end you” vibes, they all fell silent.

Then she put a protective arm around the young girl’s shoulders and helped her to her feet. Meanwhile, the large man seemed to ignore all this. Instead, he strolled over to a nearby food stall—the Little Vixen, to be specific.

“Hey you! Gimme a beer! And what’s with that getup, fox lady? If you’re selling beer, you gotta wear a swimsuit! Where’s the bikini?” he demanded, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Excuse me? What’s your problem, old man?” Katherine snapped back.

But the man didn’t seem to care about her reaction. Because of his intimidating stature, no one ever criticized him and he didn’t have to worry about other people’s feelings.

“Who says I gotta wear a bikini, huh? What’s wrong with my apron?”

“Beer and swimsuits go together! If you wanna sell beer, you need a bikini, babe!”

“No, we don’t, actually!”

“Now, now, Katherine,” Nadine scolded as she returned to the stand, young girl in tow. The girl in question was biting her lip and refusing to look in the man’s direction; Nadine moved in front of her, shielding her. “One beer, coming right up,” she declared in a cold, emotionless voice. Then she turned back to the girl. “As for you, young lady, why don’t you sit here in our food stand and take a minute to collect yourself?”

Why’s she just going along with this? Katherine wondered. Then she looked down into the fryer. Her chicken bites had exceeded foxy orange and were now turning a deep brown. Any longer and they’d burn.

Turning away from the man, she quickly lifted the chicken out of the oil. And the moment her back was turned—

“Aagh!”

—the man let out a yelp.

She whirled around to find Nadine standing beside him, holding the beer he’d ordered. But as for the man himself, his clothes—save for his underpants—were now lying in shreds at his ankles.

This explained why Nadine was quietly tucking a dagger back into her pocket.

“Beer and swimsuits go together, correct?”

“You bitch! You think you can do this to me?!”

“Maybe you’d better learn to protect yourself,” Nadine whispered coldly, her voice soft but unwavering. Somehow, it seemed to echo across the entire castle grounds.

There was a moment of silence. The young girl held her breath. And then—

“...Pfft...”

Someone in the crowd let out a tiny snicker... and this sparked a wave of laughter all around them, particularly from the women in the vicinity who had witnessed the man’s domineering attitude.

All at once, a line had formed at the Little Vixen. And so, ignoring the man’s furious yapping, the two ladies of Lilium went back to work. In the end, their food stand was a complete success.

*4*

Meanwhile, inside the castle...

“So basically, all we need to do is make it so the sword doesn’t clash with the dress, correct?”

“Well, yeah... but that guy made it sound like dresses and swords can’t go together at all. That’s why I was thinking maybe I should wear something with pants, or...”

“Non, non! Heh heh heh... I would advise you not to underestimate the Great Sorceress!”

Laplace jauntily snapped her fingers, and the Not-Excalibur floated up into the air.

“Oh!”

Then, as the Great Sorceress raised her hands, it began to change form, almost as though she were sculpting it herself. The giant sword shrank and shrank until it disappeared into Laplace’s closed fist.

“Now then, give me your hand.”

“My hand...?” Despite her confusion, Tanya did as she asked.

“Here you are, Tanya. I have crafted you the ultimate accessory.”

Laplace bent down on one knee, her skirt pooling onto the floor, and gently took Tanya’s hand in hers. Then she slipped a golden ring onto her finger.

“Wh-What the?! Wait... Laplace... Is this...?!”

“Hee hee hee! What do you think? Do you like it?” Laplace grinned. “If not, I can turn it into a bracelet, a tiara, whatever you desire.”

“But—”

“Not to worry, not to worry! Admittedly this sort of craftwork is just a hobby of mine, but rest assured, I can guarantee its quality. This ring will transform back into a sword by reading your mana circuits. Not that it really matters if the sword ‘clashes’ with your dress, but... well, I just thought a ring would look nice on you, that’s all.”

“No one’s ever given me a ring before...”

“Well then, you’re quite the lucky girl to get a custom Laplace ring as your first! Actually... no, maybe you’ve earned it. Either way, I hope you’ll accept it as a token of my affection.”

Laplace shot her a playful wink, and all at once, her chest filled with emotion. This was a sincerely touching gift.

“D-Does it look good on me, though?”

“Oui, oui. C’est magnifique!”

With a small smile, Laplace donned a stylish masquerade mask to conceal her face. At last, the two women were ready to join the soirée.

Hand in hand, they strolled through the castle. And as they drew the attention of all those nearby, they were referred to in hushed whispers as “the Red Rose and the Black Rose.”

One hour later...

“Owwww...” Tanya plunked herself down on the balcony floor.

“Are you alright, Tanya?”

“These stilettos... I don’t think human beings were meant to wear these... They’re not shoes, they’re some kind of torture device! I’m gonna kill whoever invented these!”

“Is it really that bad?!”

“YES!”

“Oh, you poor thing... I know you were just trying to be a good security guard, but you didn’t have to patrol the entire castle!”

“Nnnn... I’m gonna have a fat blister, I just know it...”

The cool night air felt good against her skin. She was having fun wearing a fancy dress for a change, and she didn’t exactly hate the idea of high heels, but... they simply weren’t ideal footwear for a security guard in the least. And why do these guests all love to stand around talking for hours and hours?!

Thus, she and Laplace had slipped outside for a breather.

“Heh heh heh! The Great Sorceress always knows how to make the best out of any given situation!”

As they were leaving the Great Hall, Laplace had swung by the buffet table to grab some juicy roast beef, sweet and airy chiffon cake, and a bunch of different appetizers—not to mention a bottle of pricey red wine. She laid it all out on the balcony like a midnight picnic, and they shared a toast under the moonlight. The dull ache of her feet was easily outmatched by the splendor of the feast before them.

Just then, as she was resting with her shoes off... a small figure appeared behind them.

“...What?! Lady Stone Cold Stunner?!”

“Mmffgghh?!” Tanya started to choke on her wine. Someone had just called Laplace by her infamously jokey alias... She turned in the direction of the voice—

“Oh my! And Lady Tanya?!”

“Huh?!” The intruder had named her as well. Tanya blinked. Who IS that?

“Is this real life...? Oh my goodness! Can I get your autographs?!”

Standing there was a young girl with silver hair, violet eyes, and a long dress that trailed along behind her.

Crap!

Tanya hadn’t anticipated that anyone else would step out onto the balcony with them, since the door was concealed with curtains and carefully arranged furniture. Oh god, they’re gonna yell at us... She was desperate to resolve the situation without causing a scene.

“Shhh! Keep your voice down, little girl!”

“Huh? Oh... Okay...” She clapped both hands to her mouth and nodded fervently, eyes wide.

Fortunately, no one seemed to have heard them. It didn’t sound like anyone was coming to investigate, anyway. Tanya breathed a sigh of relief.

Then Laplace’s gaze drifted over the girl’s dress. It was clearly made with only the highest-quality silk... and there was a familiar flower emblem expertly embroidered onto it.

“It can’t be...”

“Huh?”

“This little girl is the Emperor’s daughter. In other words... she’s the Crown Princess.”

“What?!”

The color drained from Tanya’s face. This girl was a member of the esteemed Aweigkorrt royal family—the rulers of Pajan? Admittedly the quality of her clothes did suggest she was someone of importance...

“...Yes, that’s right. I am Arianora Aweigkorrt, Crown Princess.”

“I thought so. See, you’ve got the imperial flower crest stitched onto your dress there. Only a member of the royal family can put it right on their clothes.”

“But the commoners aren’t supposed to know about our family insignia... Lady Stone Cold Stunner, you never cease to amaze me!”

“Heh heh! The Great Sorceress sees it alllll,” Laplace replied in a singsong voice.

Meanwhile, in sharp contrast to her levity, Tanya was as white as a sheet. “Are you serious...?”

She put a hand over her mouth. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine she’d encounter the princess of all people.

Here they were, talking to a member of the royal family, and Laplace hadn’t batted a lash. Evidently the confidence of a 300-year-old Sorceress was not to be taken lightly.

Then Tanya noticed something.

“Wait, but... Forgive me, um... Your Highness?”

“Yes?” Princess Arianora asked, tilting her head elegantly.

“If I may ask... how do you know of us?”

Admittedly, it was a rather blunt question.

“Look out, world! Tanya’s famous now!” Laplace joked.

“Stop! This isn’t funny, okay?! I’m terribly sorry, Your Highness!”

“Listen, um... please, call me Arianora. You all performed so wonderfully at the Sparring Tournament this year... It was the most fun I’ve ever had attending an event in an official capacity!”

Her expression was so dreamy, she was practically swooning, and Tanya couldn’t help but smile. Princess or not, at the end of the day, Arianora was still a young girl. And that was precisely the demographic Tanya had hoped to reach.

“So tell me, um, do you have any funny stories from the Sparring Tournament? Or... Or your other adventures?!” Arianora asked excitedly. “Meeting the members of Lilium is simply a dream come true!”

Her eyes sparkled with the energy of a girl who dreamed of adventure. But just then—she fell into a coughing fit.

“Whoa, whoa, you okay?!” Tanya dashed over in spite of her aching feet. “Oh no, you’re really pale... We need to call for a Healer!”

“No, Lady Tanya! I, um... I’m okay. It’s just... My corset is rather tight around the midsection. That’s why I came out here in the first place... I just need to rest and get some air, and then I’ll be fine.”

“You sure don’t look fine!”

Her luxurious dress was visibly squeezing her like a vise, and Tanya couldn’t stand to see it.

“Please, don’t call for anyone,” Arianora wheezed in a tiny voice.

So instead, Tanya did everything she could to loosen her little dress.

The princess heaved a sigh of relief.

*5*

“...And then what happened?!” Arianora asked gleefully.

“You should’ve seen it! Stone Cold Stunner got completely carried away.”

“Excusez-moi? Only because you were behaving recklessly in the first place!”

As they recounted the various jobs Lilium had undertaken, Arianora listened rapturously, her eyes gleaming. Her title of Princess had originally thrown Tanya for a loop, but now she could see that Her Highness was no different from any other girl.

Arianora Aweigkorrt, the Crown Princess of Pajan. The Emperor and Empress had been childless for many, many years until Arianora was born thirteen summers prior. At the time Tanya was still a child, living in a rural region far to the north, but even she could remember the joy and festivity that followed the birth of the princess.

Likewise, she also remembered the years and years’ worth of cruel comments people had made about the Empress, who hailed from another country. At the time, young Tanya was flabbergasted that they would refer to such a beautiful and wise woman as a “barren hag” just because she hadn’t produced any children.

But now that baby princess had grown up into a precious little girl! For some reason, Tanya couldn’t help but feel sentimental; if only Her Majesty could see her now, she thought. But the Empress had died a few years prior in a carriage crash on her way to a distant region.

Tanya could only imagine how Arianora must have felt, living each day without her mother... I hope the world never takes your smile away.

“Whew... I feel much better now. Thank you.”

After a long chat, Arianora finally got to her feet, and Tanya followed suit—

“Aaagh!”

“Oh heavens! Are you alright, Lady Tanya?!”

“Y-Yeah, I’m okay! My feet hurt, that’s all.”

They were so blistered, they looked like they might start bleeding at any moment. In other words, they hurt like hell. Nothing she couldn’t tolerate, of course, but more than that, she didn’t want to worry anyone, least of all a child half her age.

Just then, she heard a snap—

“Well now, Tanya, perhaps it’s about time for a costume change!”

“What? You’re going to change my—whoa!”

“Wow! This... This is incredible!”

Arianora gasped in awe. Mana flowed from Laplace like a gentle breeze as Tanya’s rosy dress transformed into a gallant white tailcoat with leather shoes.

“Oh, I’m just getting started!”

“Uh, Lap—I mean, Stone Cold Stunner?!”

Snap, snap, snap. Her tailcoat turned into a jaunty tuxedo-style dress, then a blue military uniform, then an exotic traditional Court Mage robe. Each of them were flattering in their own ways, but most notable of all—

“Rrrgh... The footwear is so comfortable, I wanna punch something!!!”

She balled her hands into fists. Each of the outfits was designed to be paired with combat boots for maximum comfort.

In the end, Laplace settled on the white tailcoat, fashioning it into a dress. Amazingly enough, the shoes she’d chosen to go with this outfit were both aesthetically beautiful and so comfortable they were practically made for Tanya’s feet. As a result, the pain had faded considerably. I guess nothing’s impossible for a Great Sorceress.

“How did you like that little fashion show I put on?” Laplace smirked playfully. “Actually... on second thought, that was inconsiderate of me. How about it, little princess? Care to try on one of Stone Cold Stunner’s latest custom designs?”

“Huh? Me?! Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly...”

“The lady doth protest too much! You have jealousy written all over your face!” Laplace grinned.

After a moment, Arianora looked up, determination burning in her eyes. “O-Okay then... I want to wear something gallant, too! Something I can breathe in!”

“Très bien! Leave it to me!”

But right before she snapped her fingers—a deep, icy voice echoed across the balcony.

“Princess Arianora, what on earth are you doing out here?”

*6*

Arianora’s face froze. All emotion melted away until nothing remained but a blank slate. Then she silently got to her feet and retreated behind the man who had joined them on the balcony.

“As your assigned babysitter, I must say, I am less than pleased.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

The man was wearing an elaborate mask, befitting of a royal soirée. A handful of male attendants stood just behind him.

At his insistence, Arianora left the balcony, shooting Tanya and Laplace just one final parting glance before she disappeared. The masked man followed after her, taking large, self-important strides, almost like he was monitoring the Princess’s every move.

Panicked, one of the attendants called after him—

“Wait! Lord Maxwell!”

It was a name both Tanya and Laplace recognized—a name they were all too familiar with.

This was Maxwell, the man who was said to have achieved immortality, who had served as the Court Grand Mage of Pajan for the past 300 years.

Beside her, Tanya felt Laplace’s cheer and warmth turn to stone.

“Wait, so that was—uh, Laplace, are you—?”

Tanya stopped short and inhaled sharply.

“Max...well...?”

Laplace stared into space, cold, distant, unseeing.

Almost like she was a different person altogether.

Tanya couldn’t remember much of what happened after that. All she remembered was feeling like Laplace might up and vanish the second she took her eyes off her—so she held Laplace’s hand all night long, the golden ring gleaming on her finger.

But the very next morning, Laplace the Great Sorceress had disappeared.