Chapter 5: An Audience with the Princess

*1*

Tanya was doing her best to keep it down, she really was. But her voice had a way of carrying.

“Holy crap, what is this stuff?! It’s so good!”

“Shhhh! Tanya, keep your voice down or they’ll find us!”

Their anticlimactic escape out of the dungeon had led them to—

“I’m sorry, but this food is divine!”

“The roast pork is simply scrumptious, isn’t it? 300 years later, they’re still using the same great recipe.”

“Yeah... Really wish I had some ice-cold beer to go with it, though!”

—the kitchens.

It was the middle of the night, so naturally the place was deserted. Except for Tanya and Laplace, of course, who found themselves rooting through the “refrigerator,” a magical appliance powered by Ice Magic that was used to keep food fresh. What were they doing, you ask? Sampling the castle’s royal leftovers and having themselves a feast fit for an emperor. Seriously, ladies, save some for the rest of us.

“Tanya, you’ve got a little something on your lip there.”

“Mmmn? Oh, you do, too. Let me get that for you.”

“Mm!”

Laplace obediently leaned forward, and Tanya wiped her mouth for her. “There, got it.”

“Merci!”

“You’re welcome. Okay, my turn!” She leaned forward, just as Laplace had.

But Laplace tilted her head, puzzled. “Hmm? What’s this about? Wait... Are you waiting for a kiss?!”

“Wh...?! I’m waiting for you to wipe my mouth, obviously! Otherwise it’s kinda backwards, don’t you think?! Er... I’m not sure how it’s backwards, exactly, but yeah!”

Meanwhile, as the two women kept digging—“Can’t get revenge on an empty stomach, after all!”—someone quietly approached them from behind.

“What the... Lady Tanya?! And Lady Stone Cold Stunner?!” exclaimed a clear, beautiful voice.

“AAAHH!”

They whirled around to find a single figure standing there in the oversized kitchen.

Long silver hair. Violet eyes.

It was the girl they’d met on the balcony at the soirée... Arianora, the Crown Princess of Pajan.

“Well now, if it isn’t little Ari!”

“So it is you! Wh... What are you doing here...?!”

This time Her Highness was wearing a loose white nightgown, no constricting corset to be seen. This, too, was made of silk, with the imperial flower crest embroidered neatly onto it. Just then, her eyes lit up.

“Say, um... would you maybe want to come back with me to my room?!”

Tanya and Laplace exchanged a glance. An invitation to the Princess’s royal bedchamber was more than they ever could have hoped for.

*2*

And so a very giddy Arianora led them all the way to the top of the Western Tower, where her bedroom was located. Truth be told, they were fortunate enough that she hadn’t alerted the authorities straight away, but Laplace in particular was feeling antsy. She wanted to find Maxwell as soon as possible.

Together, they slipped past the stationed guards... but when they entered Arianora’s room, Laplace was stunned.

“I can’t believe it...”

As it turned out, she recognized it. Long, long ago, this was the very room where Laplace was confined for the entirety of her childhood. Unable to speak, she simply stared at the stone walls. It was just as she remembered it, too. Fate works in mysterious ways, it seems.

“Come on in! It’s a bit cramped, but feel free to have a seat wherever you like!” Arianora announced gleefully.

“Oh, um... thank you,” Tanya replied quietly, scanning the room.

While Her Highness called it “cramped,” it was easily more than twice the size of Lilium’s hotel room... and yet it was intended for only one person. Must be nice to be royalty, Tanya thought to herself, impressed. She plopped down on the sofa to find it pillowy soft, like a big marshmallow.

“Listen, um... Please don’t tell anyone I went to the kitchen for a midnight snack, okay?” said Arianora.

“D’accord, d’accord... As long as you don’t tell anyone about our little impromptu visit,” Laplace replied as she joined Tanya on the couch.

Arianora giggled mischievously. She really did seem like an ordinary girl in every way.

Reminds me of my little sisters back home, Tanya thought. “Say, Your Highness?”

“Lady Tanya, as I’ve asked you before, please... call me Arianora.”

“Okay, um... Princess Arianora? Why were you in the kitchen so late at night?”

Granted, she could understand the desire for a midnight snack, but what was a girl her age doing awake at this hour? Plus, eating late at night wasn’t a healthy habit in general. Wasn’t she worried about acne? Or weight gain?

“Come now, Tanya, we can’t criticize her for that. We were doing the same thing, were we not? The only thing worse than a hypocrite is an unhealthy hypocrite.”

“Gah...”

“That said... the roast pork was heavenly, wasn’t it?”

“Gah!”

Tanya winced. That one really stung. Meanwhile, Arianora gazed at them rapturously.

“Tell me, have you been hired to serve at the castle? Will I be able to see you every day?!”

“Uhhhh...”

Laplace averted her eyes. This was no time to kick back and relax; after all, they had to take into consideration the possibility that this was all a trap. She took a deep breath, exhaled... and cleared her throat. She was done beating around the bush.

“You know what, Ari? I’m just going to ask you flat-out.”

“What is it?”

“We’re looking for someone—Maxwell, the Court Grand Mage. Do you know where he is?”

At this, Arianora tilted her head with a frown.

“What do you mean? Lord Maxwell is right behind you.”

*3*

“What?!”

Their hearts in their throats, they whirled around to find... a fancy little vanity table. No sign of Maxwell.

“Heehee! Tricked you!”

“You little monster...!” Tanya exclaimed, sinking back onto the sofa. “I nearly had a heart attack for a second there!”

“Good grief... Crafty little goblin,” Laplace sighed.

“Anyway, all jokes aside... I was just with him a moment ago.”

“What?! Really?!”

“Yes, in the underground laboratory.”

“Right, that place... I’m amazed he would drag you down there this late at night.”

“But what business would Lilium have with him?” Arianora asked, puzzled.

“Well, you see, Ari...” Laplace reached out and took her by the arm.

Then she rolled up the sleeve of her nightgown.

“Aah!”

“What...?” Tanya could scarcely believe what she was seeing.

“I came here... to stop this cruelty.”

Silver hair. Violet eyes.

“If I had to guess... I’d say you’ve got the blood of the White Dragon in your veins, don’t you?” Laplace asked quietly.

There, illuminated by the moonlight, was Arianora’s arm—covered in cuts and injection marks.

“Th... This is nothing! It’ll go away after a few days!”

“I’m afraid that’s not the problem here. Mon dieu... To think the old man hasn’t made a lick of progress in 300 years.”

Laplace recognized those marks on Arianora’s arm. It was like looking at a replica of her younger self. After all, she was dissected and injected in much the same way, once upon a time.

Maxwell, you bastard. You’re experimenting on the Princess, and this late at night? Shame on you. You think you have the right to lay a hand on a member of the Pajan royal family? Are you that entitled?

She clenched her jaw.

If only I’d let myself get mad... if only I’d stood up for myself... this little girl would never have had to suffer.

“Umm...?”

Confused, Arianora stared at Laplace. It was just so odd to see this venerable tournament champion getting angry on her behalf. To the Princess, this was simply another inescapable part of her everyday life.

She was only a girl, after all. As a girl, she would never have the right to ascend the throne. She was of no importance to this country—not until she was old enough to be used as a pawn in a political marriage, of course. And besides...

“Ari? You still with us?” Laplace asked after a moment of silence.

“Y-Yes, of course. What is it?”

“...I’ll bet it really hurt, didn’t it?”

The hem of Laplace’s black dress fluttered as she pulled the girl into her arms. It felt like she was hugging her past self.

Meanwhile, Arianora struggled to understand what she was feeling. It was such a simple question—so why did it make her heart ache so badly? Surely she was used to the pain by now.

Of course, this was a mindset Laplace was all too familiar with.

“Listen, um...!” Arianora began, though she couldn’t will herself to pull away from the embrace.

Why? Why are you both being so nice to me? And how are you both so strong?

But before she could ask, the door suddenly flew open.

“Who are you people?!” a woman’s voice called sharply.

“...Uh oh.”

“This doesn’t sound good, does it, Tanya?”

Standing in the doorway was a woman wearing a long white robe, her hair carefully concealed under a habit. Hers was the garb of a pure and pious lady-in-waiting.

Arianora hastily leapt away from Laplace. “No, Vis! It’s not what you think!”

But the woman—“Vis,” as she was called—didn’t bat a lash.

She was the personal attendant to the Crown Princess of Pajan, and she had just caught them red-handed.

*4*

Naturally, their first reaction to this sudden intruder was for Tanya to use Wind Magic to apprehend the woman at the speed of light while Laplace snapped her fingers to seal her voice and prevent her from calling for help. Problem solved. And what a piece of cake, too! Well... mostly.

“Man, we’re lucky she didn’t call for the guards.”

“Magnifique! That was some excellent teamwork!”

Meanwhile, Vis glared silently at the women of Lilium as Arianora tried her best to explain.

“L-Listen, Vis! I’m really sorry! I, um... I invited—”

But Tanya and Laplace cut in loudly, drowning out her little voice:

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!!!”

“Hey, hey, hey!!!”

Startled, Arianora looked up at them. Laplace smirked.

“You know, Tanya, it sure was easy, forcing the princess to let us up here under threat of violence!”

“I know, right? It’s so much easier to break out of jail when you have a hostage!”

“Oui, oui! The princess was completely opposed to it, but we bullied her into it!”

“Yep!”

The princess stared, mouth agape, as the two women rambled at length, each in perfect sync with the other.

“Right, Your Highness?” Tanya winked.

Arianora stared blankly for a moment, then snapped to her senses. “R-Right,” she nodded. Tanya grinned back at her.

They couldn’t in good conscience have Arianora take the fall for letting a couple of intruders into her bedroom. For one thing, it would be pretty uncool of them; a disgrace to the name of Lilium. And for another, well... it would make things a lot more complicated. Thus, they chose to frame this as yet another crime they were committing.

Tanya knew it was for the best, and yet...

“Ugh... I’m gonna have to flee the country after this, aren’t I?” she sighed. “Man, that sucks.”

“Hahaha! Too late for regrets now, Tanya!” Laplace grinned. “Oh, that gives me an idea. Once I use my powers as a Sorceress to beat the stuffing out of Maxwell, why don’t you and I go on a little world tour?”

Just then—

“...What?” Arianora cocked her head. “Did you just say ‘my powers as a Sorceress’? Lady Stone Cold Stunner... are you... Laplace the Great Sorceress?”

“Oops.”

Crap. They’d both forgotten to keep Laplace’s true identity concealed. Arianora’s jaw dropped as she stared up at the once-infamous Wicked Dragonwhore.

But Laplace merely winked at her. “Indeed, I am Laplace the Great Sorceress. I bet you didn’t see that one coming, did you? Hmm?”

“Ah... wh...”

Arianora’s rosy lips trembled as tears filled her eyes.

“...out of... please...”

“Huh?”

Her small, pale hand clutched desperately at Laplace’s skirt—and she screamed:

“Please, you have to get out of here! Right now!”

*5*

Meanwhile, in the underground prison, two shadows stood concealed in the darkness.

“Looks like they’ve already escaped. No surprise there, of course.”

They stared down at the guard passed out on the floor in spectacularly cartoonish fashion.

“He’s out cold, it seems.”

“Yep. Totally zonked out.”

On the left was a woman with long lavender hair worn in braids—Nadine. Though she held a Healer’s staff, her roots as a proud Assassin were shining through; she was dressed head to toe in black, tight-fitting clothes, with concealed weapons hidden strategically all over her body.

Next to her stood a foxkin woman with thick, luxurious blonde hair—Katherine the Mage. The long sleeves of her shrine maiden uniform were tied up with a tasuki sash for increased range of movement.

Katherine, a Mage whose primary focus was long-range attacks. Nadine, a Healer with the stealth and close combat skills of an Assassin. In terms of offense, they had all the bases covered. However...

“Um... are you sure about this?” Asked Katherine hesitantly.

“Huh? About what?”

“You know... sneaking into the castle? I should think this is obvious, but what we’re doing is a capital offense.”

Nadine reached into her hip pouch and pulled out a series of tools and magical items with which she proceeded to carefully scan the floor and walls, searching for any trace of their party leader.

You see, after Tanya was arrested, Nadine had hatched a plan of her own. Granted, perhaps Tanya and Laplace were strong enough to rescue themselves without outside assistance, but even so... Tanya was the woman who, when Nadine pledged to serve as her blade in the shadows, told Nadine she was free to remain as a Healer, since it was the path she had chosen for herself. This one small comment had won Nadine’s loyalty, and ever since then, she wanted to help Tanya however she could.

“Shouldn’t you... think it through a little more?” she frowned.

Although Katherine had proven herself during Anca’s civil dispute, she was still only a temporary member. She was by no means obligated to expose herself to this level of risk.

“Excuse me?” Katherine snorted. Then she thrust out her chest. “I made this choice. And besides... it’s you guys we’re talking about.”

“Huh?”

“How could you forget? Your party leader went up on stage at the Sparring Tournament and gave that big speech about how all girls are allowed to dream of adventure, regardless of men or marriage or whatever.”

The memory of Tanya standing behind the podium flashed through Nadine’s mind. She hadn’t realized that her speech had touched someone so close to them.

“...I take it she won you over, too.”

“Yeah, something like that.”

But it wasn’t just Tanya; truth be told, Nadine had done a lot to win her over, too. Like that time during the Tournament, right after they’d just fought each other, when Nadine came to the restroom where Katherine was hiding in order to bring her a change of clothes. But before Katherine could say anything—

“Oh!” Nadine exclaimed, knocking on the cell wall in a careful, practiced way. “There’s a hidden door here!”

She pressed on each of the nearby bricks until finally, there was a dull clunk.

“Wh... What’s happening?!”

With a series of gravelly clacking sounds, the bricks slid away to reveal—

“It appears to be a secret staircase. Shall we?”

Nadine stepped down without further hesitation. But before Katherine could follow, she suddenly came to a stop—

“GOTCHA!!!”

Nadine whirled around, and a sharp gust of wind shot past Katherine’s cheek. She didn’t realize what had happened until the guardsman let out a yelp directly behind her, the tip of a throwing dagger embedded halfway through his palm.

“Wh... What the?!”

“That man was only pretending to be unconscious. He was looking up your, um, what’s it called... hakama skirt. Pretty gross, actually.”

“Excuse me?!? Fuck off, dude!!! Go do your job!!!”

If you knew there were intruders, why didn’t you go call for backup or something, you lazy twit?! Fueled by her contempt, Katherine swung her leg up—

“Guh!”

—and drove the hard part of her boot directly into his jaw. Once again, the guard passed out, this time with a copious nosebleed (but not the fun kind).

“Fuck you, you dirty old man!!!”

Then she flipped up her skirt.

“Too bad for you, I’m wearing compression shorts under here!”

The best thing about Laplace’s custom armor: full coverage.

*6*

With infiltration expert Nadine leading the way, the two of them progressed deeper underground.

Down... down... down...

Katherine wasn’t used to sneaking around like this. But just as she nearly lost all sense of time—

“...What?!”

“What is this?!”

The narrow stairwell opened up—and what they saw made them shiver in fear.

Spell runes covered the walls surrounding rows upon rows of cylindrical tanks, each of them filled to the brim with some sort of pale, cloudy liquid. There, floating inside each tank, was a human—a little girl—sound asleep.

It was so sickening... so twisted. Katherine had studied a fair bit of magic, but even she couldn’t decipher the room’s intended purpose. All she knew for certain... was that this technology was unheard of in traditional sorcery.

“Ugh... We should go back, Nadine. This place doesn’t feel right!”

“Agreed!”

The two women took a step back. They needed to find the others—fast.