Chapter 5: A Declaration of War

*1*

Tanya was in a spectacularly good mood. Not only was Nadine now an official party member, but Alisa had passed her entrance exams. This was cause for celebration!

“Wahahaha! New friend, new friend!”

“Tanya, wipe that sinister smirk off your face!”

“Why should I? I’m a femme fatale, out for revenge! I’m evil, I tell you! Gahahaha!”

“Shhh! Tanya! Keep your voice down!”

“Oui, oui. Nadine’s right, you know. You’re being far too loud. Drunk already, are we?”

Together they ate, drank, and made merry. Nadine wasn’t much of a drinker; instead, she ate four whole herb-roasted pheasants. But even then, she still didn’t hold a candle to Laplace, who ordered one of everything off the menu and devoured it all with relish. Meanwhile, Tanya downed her tankard of ale, savoring the taste of alcohol bought with her own hard-earned money. All in all, it was a sumptuous feast, until—

“Yikes!” a familiar voice called out.

“Huh?” Tanya turned to look.

There, standing in the doorway of the Little Vixen, was a woman she didn’t recognize... on the arm of a man she very much did.

“It’s you.” All at once, the drunken stupor cleared from her mind. “Ryan.”

Sure enough, there stood Ryan, her longtime friend and former party leader—the same man who had fired her. “Hi, Tanya,” he replied, grimacing awkwardly.

“What the...?” Tanya balled her fists and shifted her gaze. “Who the hell is this chick?!”

The woman standing beside him was fairly young... and a Mage, judging from her equipment. Tall, slim, and blonde—definitely Ryan’s type, alright. And while female adventurers’ clothes were all one kind of skimpy or another, hers were particularly tasteless.

A pair of pointy ears sat atop her head, and after a moment, Tanya realized she was a beastkin.

The woman tilted her head in a show of confusion. “Hey, Ryan? Who’s this?” she asked in a simpering voice.

“Oh, sorry Katherine. Remember that old friend of mine I was telling you about?”

“You mean that extremely butch Mage woman you got rid of?”

“Yeah, this is her.”

“Ooh, interesting,” she sneered, staring smugly at Tanya. And as for Tanya, well, she was smart enough to put two and two together.

“You fired me... and hired a different female Mage...?”

“No, no! You’ve got the wrong idea.”

Oh yeah? Which part of what I said is wrong, exactly? Enraged, her blood ran cold. “You fired me... so you could put your girlfriend in the party...?”

Ryan laughed dismissively. When they were young, he’d always put on this dopey, boyish grin whenever he was trying to get out of trouble—and it worked, too. Tanya hated that stupid smile. Fuck off!

“Katherine just really wanted to join our party, that’s all. Isn’t that right, Katherine?”

“Right you are, Ryan,” Katherine drawled. Her voice was so syrupy and saccharine, she was obviously doing it on purpose... but her gaze was pointedly fixed anywhere but at them, and she was batting her lashes.

Tanya recognized this signal. Five blinks: “I want to leave.” But Ryan hadn’t noticed.

Evidently this Katherine woman was fairly adept at making use of her personal connections.

“Trust me, I have no ulterior motive for doing this. If anything, well... she’s a junior adventurer, and someone ought to be there to show her the ropes, that’s all!”

Nice try, but I can see your arm around her waist, you liar! You’re just SO pleased with yourself, aren’t—HEY! Quit smiling at each other like that, damn it!

Tanya’s face flushed with rage.

“Interesting. He’s even worse than you described,” Laplace murmured under her breath as she scooped up another spoonful of sorbet.

No kidding.

“Oh, I know!” Ryan shouted suddenly.

“...What?”

“Tanya, I could be wrong, but...”

“Spit it out, Ryan.”

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“...WHAT?!” Jealous?! How on earth did this moron arrive at THAT conclusion?!

“You were secretly in love with me, weren’t you? You can admit it.”

“Wh... Fuck you!” Tanya screamed. Have you lost your mind?!

“I admit, you might be a better Mage than Katherine, but when it comes to women, talent’s got nothing on hotness. Am I right?”

“Yep! Hotness all the way,” Katherine replied at his prompting, though her gaze was directed at her hands. Apparently she was more interested in her nails.

“And no offense, Tanya, but you’ve always been kind of a bitch. This Mage thing you’re doing? It’s not cute or endearing. But Healers? Anyone can be a Healer! You just need to change classes, join a new party, and get a boyfriend. That’s the whole reason I fired you,” Ryan explained without a hint of irony.

Ugh, my chest feels like lead.

“...up.”

“I mean, you chicks only do this adventurer stuff to find husbands, right?”

“Sh...”

“And most girls tend to act quickly, y’know, while they’re still young.”

“Shut up...”

Most girls. This struck a nerve.

“Huh? What was—?”

“I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Tanya roared. She put her hand on the hilt of the Not-Excalibur affixed to her back and focused her energy on the mana circuits in her legs.

Wind Magic, engage!

She dashed forward, straight at Ryan.

“Eegh?!” Ryan yelped in terror. Then he felt the chill of a giant blade gently touch the back of his neck, and for a moment, his brain failed to process what had happened. It all happened so fast, his first thought was teleportation magic.

It took him several seconds before he even noticed someone was behind him—and even longer to realize that person was Tanya. Somehow she wielded that giant-sized sword with the grace of a natural, and now she was oozing hostile intent as she held it right against his neck.

At last, he finally understood what had happened... and his legs gave out.

As he collapsed to the floor, Katherine let out a scream. “What was that?!”

“That was me almost killing him,” Tanya replied mechanically. And with a deep breath, she lowered the Not-Excalibur.

“No fighting in the restaurant!” a waitress yelled angrily.

“Wh... You... That sword... You changed classes?!”

“Yep.”

“Why would you do that?! You already couldn’t get a date as a Mage! No guy will wanna date some burly Knight chick!”

Tanya took a deep breath, turned to Ryan, and screamed at the top of her lungs:

“I’M NOT DOING THIS SO MEN WILL LIKE ME, YOU FUCKING OCTOPUS!”

“Get ‘em, girl!” Laplace cheered in the background as she started in on her second bowl of ice cream.

“Octopus?!” Ryan yelped.

“You’re right—I take it back. Even that’s too generous for a worm like you.” Tanya looked down her nose at him, her eyes as cold as ice. “Ryan.”

“Wh-What?”

“I’m going to enter my party into the next Sparring Tournament.”

“You have a party? And you’re entering the tournament? Is that even allowed?”

“Cram it! You better be there, because I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”

Much as she was tempted to destroy him here, that priceless moment would be better spent in the arena, where she could humiliate him and make him beg for his life in front of a giant crowd. After everything he’d said and done to belittle her efforts over the years, he deserved her revenge in full.

“Wha...?!”

Silence fell. The other patrons all stared at them.

Then Ryan clucked his tongue and got to his feet. “Fuck it, Katherine. Let’s go somewhere else. I’ve had it with this place.”

“O-Okay...”

Tanya glared after him. Once upon a time, that was her best friend. Together, they’d dreamed of going on adventures—no, don’t cry. Not here. Don’t let him win.

“...This is why you’re going to die an old maid,” Ryan spat as he walked out the door.

Even after everything that just happened, it was clear he still only saw her as a mere woman and nothing more.

“Yeah, an old maid that can kick your pathetic ass! GO FUCK YOURSELF!” she yelled after him.

Surely he saw the difference in their power levels. Her biggest advantage as a Magi-Knight came from her mana capacity and proficiency, and she was confident that her overwhelming talent as a Mage would more than make up for her lack of experience as a Knight. Surely she could beat him... Hell, she could’ve lopped his head off just now...

“I’m gonna crush you. That’s a promise,” Tanya muttered to no one. She bit her lip in frustration.

Just then, she felt someone hug her gently from behind.

“There, there. I’m proud of you for holding yourself back, Tanya.”

“Thanks, Laplace.”

“Yeah, um, I think I understand why you have to get revenge on that person. It sounds like he made your life absolutely miserable.”

“Thanks, Nadine.”

“Why don’t we drink some more? This time I’ll join you.”

“Oui, oui! I was just about to order another cup of sorbet anyway.”

“You’re STILL hungry?!”

“But of course! And you know what they say—you can’t... something... on an empty stomach!” Laplace beamed.

Party member #1: Laplace, an ancient Sorceress.

“That Mage woman just now, Katherine... She was in my class at adventuring school, and... well, I don’t know how to put this, but... I’m disappointed to see how she’s ended up.”

Party member #2: Nadine, a former Guild counter clerk.

God, I’m so happy to have you both here with me.

“Let’s make a toast! To this exciting tale of revenge that has only just begun!”

At this, Tanya smiled. She was completely sober again... Yeah, maybe I should have one more glass of wine.

She balled her hand into a fist.

As of tonight, she had declared war, and now there was no backing down.

*2*

The waxing gibbous moon hung high in the night sky. Laplace, however, didn’t know the proper terms for the lunar phases—those were established after her time. To her, it was just “slightly less than full.”

She stood on the balcony of her hotel room. Up there on the top floor, it felt like the moon was just a tiny bit closer. The night air felt good against her skin.

“Hey, um... Laplace?”

Behind her stood Nadine Amaryllis, their newest companion.

“Hi, Nadine. Did you get Tanya into bed? Merci beaucoup, mon ami.”

The other woman nodded. “She got a bit too drunk tonight, didn’t she?”

“Hahaha! A bit is an understatement.”

After “declaring war” against Ryan, Tanya had downed drink after drink. Eventually, the conversation turned to the subject of Nadine herself.

At Level 3, she’d had a miserable time looking for work. Everywhere she went, people had assumed that, because she was a woman, she would probably quit her job a few months in. Granted, her extremely low level was fairly uncommon—but nonetheless, she knew men with similar stats got adventuring gigs with little difficulty. They were recruited into parties all the time; working at the Guild, Nadine had witnessed it many times.

Low stats weren’t a deal-breaker as long as you were male—no, as long as you weren’t female.

Every detail of this story had infuriated Tanya to the point that she had kept making comments like, “Fuck that! That’s so stupid! Let’s kick all their asses,” all the while ordering bottle after bottle of wine.

“For some reason I just... accepted it, you know? All of it. I just shrugged my shoulders,” Nadine said after a moment.

“Mmhmm,” Laplace replied softly.

Side by side, they leaned against the railing. The scattered stars twinkled like rock candy as the moon’s warm, honey-hued light shone down upon them.

“The sky’s beautiful tonight,” Nadine murmured, staring up at it. Then, after a moment, she continued, “Her wild drunkenness aside... it made me really happy that Tanya would get so... so furious on my behalf, you know?”

“Oui, je sais. That’s one of the things I like most about her.”

“Likewise. I mean, at Level 3, I’m completely useless as a Healer. You saw me—I could barely manage to get Tanya to sober up. So when she invited me to the party, I was both happy and... and scared.”

“Mmhmm.”

“But she agreed to my terms... and then she actually got Alisa into the Imperial Magic Academy, and I thought... you know, maybe she’s not the kind of person who would stab me in the back or abandon me. Tell me, is she... someone I can trust?” Nadine’s fingers tightened around the railing.

“You’ll have to decide that for yourself, I’m afraid.”

“In that case, I suppose I’ll just have to put her to the test.”

Laplace giggled. “Now then... I know that’s not the only thing you wanted to ask me, correct?”

“How did you know...?” Nadine swallowed. No point in trying to hide it now, she thought. “Laplace, are you... are you really the Great Sorceress from the myths?”

“Oui, c’est exact. It’s the honest truth, but whether you believe me is up to you, of course.”

A passing breeze ruffled their hair. Tonight Nadine had traded her braids for a half-ponytail; she chuckled faintly as the lavender locks tickled her skin. “Coming from you, I’m almost inclined to believe it.”

“Okay then, I’ll prove it.”

Laplace reached over—

“Wait, what?!”

—and lifted Nadine into her arms. Then she slowly floated into the air.

“Wh... what the?! Am I flying?!”

“Consider this a token of my gratitude for babysitting our drunk friend—a free gift from the Great Sorceress!” With a snap of her fingers, now Nadine was levitating, too.

She floated out of Laplace’s arms and skillfully regained her balance.

“Bien joué! You’ve got some good reflexes, don’t you, Nadine?”

“Huh? Wha?!”

“Now then, it’s time to fly! What say we race all the way to that clock tower?”

“What?! W-Wait—Laplace, slow down!”

The clock tower was an iconic Ode landmark—the perfect place for a midnight rendezvous, and in midair, no less.

“That was incredible,” Nadine breathed later, as they landed back on the balcony.

“Hee hee! Just don’t tell Tanya, okay?” Laplace set a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Nadine bit back a yawn. “Oh, okay... Good night, Laplace... Oh, actually...”

“Hmm?”

“The truth is, I’d heard of Tanya before we met. That’s why I felt safe asking her to help Alisa. Back in adventuring school, she was practically a legend.”

“Oho! Somehow I’m not surprised.”

“She was just some country bumpkin—no magical lineage at all. Then she showed up and trounced all the guys in her class. Whenever I asked, my teachers all said her prowess wasn’t natural-born talent; it was achieved through sheer effort. And... they’d always say...” Nadine hesitated, then leaned forward and whispered, “‘What a shame someone of her aptitude was born a woman.’”

“Yikes. If Tanya finds out, she’ll be quite furious.”

“Yeah... She already got angry enough on my behalf, so...” Nadine pressed her index finger to her lips. “Let’s keep this between ourselves.”

“C’est bon, d’accord. I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.”

“Alright. Good night for real this time.” And with that, Nadine headed back into the hotel room.

As she crawled into bed, she thought back to that amber moon painted upon the indigo skies and wondered...

What color will my future be?

*3*

In the week leading up to the Sparring Tournament, the three women had their work cut out for them. Lilium was a brand-new party, and as such, they needed to get some quests under their belt. And so, over the next few days, the three of them paid frequent visits to the Adventurers’ Guild, and snatched up every Rank C quest they could get their paws on.

Frankly speaking, these quests were so far beneath their level it was kind of hilarious.

“Good morning!”

Once again, they had arrived at the Guild bright and early—but this time, everyone turned to stare. Possibly they were mystified by the idea of an all-female party. Some of them murmured in surprise at the sight of Tanya’s oversized sword.

“Heh heh heh... It would seem my personally handcrafted greatsword is a huge hit,” Laplace smirked. Evidently she was feeling rather pleased with herself. “Maybe I should think about a career in weapon design!”

“Not to change the subject, but—”

“Hey! Don’t just ignore me!”

“—what is a Magi-Knight, anyway?” Nadine finished.

This was perhaps a gauche question, considering a max-level Magi-Knight was literally standing right there in front of her.

Tanya chuckled. To be fair, every quest thus far had been quickly managed either by one snap of Laplace’s fingers or by one simple sword spell, courtesy of Tanya herself. Hence, she hadn’t had much opportunity to showcase a Magi-Knight’s full capabilities. After all, she didn’t need to.

“Are you, like, a Mage who can wield a sword, or a Knight who can cast magic, or what?”

Tanya grinned. “C’mon, Nadine! Isn’t it obvious? A Magi-Knight is...”

With a smile, she proceeded to—

“It’s... uh...”

—fumble the question.

She didn’t have an answer to that. Hell, she didn’t even know the answer herself. She could still cast magic the same way she always had, except now she could use it to boost her physical agility, too. She realized she’d been thinking of herself as a Magi-Knight without really questioning what exactly that entailed.

She shot a pleading look at Laplace, who sat beside her eating a slice of chocolate cake.

“Nom nom... Mmm, this cake is great...”

“Uh, Laplace? Hello?”

“Hmm?” Laplace tilted her head inquisitively, licking the chocolate from the corner of her lips. Sexy. “Oh, that? Easy. Let’s get a quest that’s actually challenging for a change.” Grinning, she held up both hands in double peace signs. “I’ll explain it all on the battlefield!”

Another free gift from the Great Sorceress, apparently.

*4*

“One-two! One-two!” Laplace chanted as she walked forward, wearing the shoes Tanya had picked out for her. Yes, this pampered Sorceress was actually walking with her feet on the ground—something she had very little experience doing, since she’d spent most of her life levitating via magic. It did seem like a waste to scuff up her brand-new shoes, though.

“Uh, Laplace?”

“What is it? You know, this ‘walking’ thing really is tricky. I need to get more practice in.”

“Can you maybe save it for later?!?!”

Tanya’s voice echoed across the underground labyrinth—the most dangerous dungeon within walking distance of the capital. Before them stood ten, twenty... no, at least thirty Stone Golems that she could see. A ridiculous number, at any rate. They were all more than twice Tanya’s height, and as for their weight... well, let’s not gossip.

“You’re the one who said we should take on a challenging quest, remember?! So the least you could do is pay attention!”

They had graduated from skele-warriors to golems now, and this labyrinth was cursed to spawn golems ad infinitum. Thus, the Guild regularly hired parties to go and clear it out. But something about this just didn’t seem right.

“Are you sure this is a Rank C quest?!”

“Oh... er... I think it said something like ‘Recommended Rank: B or Greater’... but obviously I just used my magic to ‘fix’ that...”

“You used magic to falsify the quest listing?! Oh my god... I’m going to the front lines! This will be dangerous, so both of you back up!”

With a battle cry, Tanya lunged at the nearest golem and slashed it with her sword... but though her mobility was boosted with Wind Magic, the blade didn’t so much as leave a dent. Just made a measly little plink sound as it bounced off.

Her next idea was to go for an Exploding Slash like with the Wyvern in the Western Wasteland—no, what am I thinking?! This is an underground labyrinth! An explosion could bring the whole place down on our heads!

“Ooh, looks like physical attacks won’t work. Perfect.”

“What part of this is perfect, exactly?! Back me up here, Laplace!”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. We’re supposed to be showing Nadine what’s so special about Magi-Knights, remember?”

“What?”

Laplace smirked. “It’s time for a private lesson with your personal tutor, the Great and Beautiful Sorceress!”

With a snap of her fingers, the golems began to change form.

“Wha—?!”

Water Golems imbued with the power of Water Magic. Clay Golems, built with a Water/Earth mud fusion. And Fire Golems that could wield the power of Fire Magic.

“Heh heh. Pretty impressive, aren’t I?”

“How are you PROUD of this?! ARE YOU NUTS?!?!”

“It seems we’ll only be able to defeat them with magic-based attacks,” Nadine whispered, her voice tinged with despair.

Tanya shooed her back a few more steps, then turned and held her Not-Excalibur aloft.

“G-Got it... I just need to cast a few spells...”

“Non, non! If we’re going to showcase a Magi-Knight’s true strength, then merely casting spells would defeat the purpose, would it not?”

“Okay, well, they’re really starting to close in on me here! Have you seen their faces?! They look just like statues! It’s terrifying!”

“That’s because they are statues! Now then, the Magi-Knight class is a cross between a Mage and a Knight. The biggest advantage to this is that you can wield mana without the time delay caused by casting or incantation. Instead, you can imbue that mana directly into your sword skills to create magical attacks! Now then, Tanya, let’s start with that Water Golem there. What magical attack would be most effective against Water Magic?”

“...Lightning Magic.”

“Bingo! Now go get him!”

‘Go get him’? That’s it?! Fine, whatever! Tanya closed her eyes. “Initiate mana circulation.”

Were she allowed to use her spells, this is the point at which she’d normally start casting. Instead, she focused her mana directly into the Not-Excalibur.

Lightning Magic, engage!

With that thought, her sword began to crackle and buzz with electrical discharge.

“Let’s do this! Hyaaaahhhh!!!”

Mind you, Tanya had next to no experience with sword techniques, but nevertheless, with the help of her boosted agility, she quickly closed the gap between herself and the Water Golem. And then, with a mighty slash—she sent the creature toppling to the ground, just like that.

“That’s... that’s amazing! A one-hit knockout!” Nadine exclaimed.

“Voilà! Atta girl, Tanya! Your fighting skills are simply superb! Reminds me of the time you fired an Explosion in my direction.”

“What?! She... she cast Explosion at you?!”

“Oh, did we not tell you that story? A direct hit, I tell you. My, was I ever frightened!”

“Excuse me?! That’s not the sort of spell you should cast on another person! And for that matter, how on earth did you survive it?! Are either of you even human?!”

Meanwhile, as the rear guard was enjoying that lively conversation—

“I think I’ve got the hang of this,” Tanya murmured to herself.

Circulate the mana, focus it into the sword, engage, slash. Hell, this is actually a lot faster than casting!

“Next, the Clay Golem! I’ll use Fire Magic to dry out that mud!”

Fire Magic, engage!

“Hyah!” Before the Clay Golem could finish crumbling, Tanya had already moved on to the next. “Now the Fire Golem!”

Water Magic, engage! She swung her sword and a tsunamic wave gushed forth, extinguishing the Fire Golem’s magma.

“Wow...!” Nadine gasped, awestruck. “I can’t believe you can switch between the elements that quickly! You’re incredible, Tanya!”

“Isn’t she? All thanks to her natural mana capacity and years of magical training. It’s not a feat the average adventurer could manage... not without exceptional skill and accuracy, that is.”

“Plus, those sword skills! When did she find the time to learn all that?”

“Her what? Oh, right. That.” Laplace paused. “I think she’s just making those up as she goes along.”

“What?! But her swordsmanship... it’s on par with any trained Knight!”

“I imagine she’s just doing whatever it takes to win.”

“What?!?!”

Then again, she was apparently the sort of person who would cast Explosion on another human being, so maybe this wasn’t entirely out of character for her.

“Another one down! Now to topple that Stone Golem with Impact Magic!!!”

And as Tanya worked her way through the rest of the enemy horde, she found herself thinking—man, this is actually really fun. She could never switch between elements this quickly with regular spells. Plus, the power of her attacks didn’t seem to have a direct inverse correlation with her accuracy, as spells typically did. This kicks ass!

Unable to conceal her elation, Tanya gleefully slashed through golem after golem.

“HAHAHAHAHA!!! Who’s next, huh?!?! COME AND GET ME!!!”

They were on track to finish this quest in under five minutes total.

“Laplace, um...”

“What is it?”

“Is Tanya one of those... ‘demon on the battlefield’ types, by chance?”

“Welllll... I can’t say for sure one way or the other, but... she’s been under a lot of stress lately.”

“Stress?” Nadine stared blankly. You want to call that display of insanity ‘stress’?! I think not! I’m pretty sure these are her true colors we’re looking at!

Meanwhile—

“BOOYAH!!!”

And with a thunderous CRASH, the final golem was shattered. Quest complete.

Tanya’s breaths were heavy and her heart raced—not from exertion, but from excitement. Holy shit, I can actually fight! Being a Magi-Knight rocks!

“You know, I... I think we might actually win the tournament!” she exclaimed.

“Y-Yeah, maybe!” Nadine replied with a forced laugh.

Seriously, you’re so overpowered, you’re basically broken. I’m starting to think this Ryan guy won’t make it out alive.