Chapter 6: Trouncing the Tournament Prelims

*1*

On the first day of the tournament, a group of high-born nobles arrived at the arena well before the gates opened to the public. Dressed in all their finery, they looked exceptionally out of place.

“Wow... I’ve never seen the arena before!” exclaimed a young girl in an extravagant dress. She peered down at the empty stadium from the VIP box seats, her blonde hair dancing in the breeze. This was Arianora Aweigkorrt, the Crown Princess of the Pajan Empire. At age thirteen, she was the sole direct descendant of the Emperor.

“Step back from there, Your Highness. You could fall,” warned a handsome robe-clad man, his expression stern.

“Hee hee! Oh, do relax, Sir Maxwell.”

Maxwell was the Court Grand Mage. Once a hero who had sealed the Great Sorceress to save the Empire, he had somehow acquired eternal youth and longevity in the three hundred years since. A living legend, in other words.

“Today I serve as your bodyguard, and therefore—”

“A Court Grand Mage as my bodyguard? Surely you mean to say my babysitter.”

“Very funny.”

As heir to the monarchical Aweigkorrt legacy, Arianora was obligated now to appear at public events such as these. Truth be told, she had no interest in groups of men throwing themselves at each other in gory combat.

Nevertheless, she held out hope that some part of this spectacle might just make the whole ordeal worthwhile...

*2*

That morning, the entire capital was teeming with excitement. Adventurers of every stripe had gathered in the plaza just outside the arena.

“The big day’s finally here,” Nadine murmured, clutching her staff tightly.

In a crowd where most of the female fighters were wearing bikini armor, Lilium’s modest dress code made them stick out like a sore thumb. Even Nadine herself had traded in her skirt for a pair of pants.

Just then, she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to find Tanya standing beside her. “Don’t worry, Nadine. You’re our Healer; we won’t let you get hurt.”

She was only Level 3, and yet Tanya called her “their” Healer without hesitation... Nadine found herself eager to prove herself worthy of the title. She nodded firmly. You can count on me.

To Tanya, this was reassuring to see. Over the past week, she’d tackled quest after quest to polish her skills as a Magi-Knight. She was confident she could defeat just about anyone. And now the time had come. Time to finally get my revenge.

“We are now opening admission to the arena!” the soldier in charge announced. “Party representatives, please form a single-file line at the reception desk!”

Cheers rose from the crowd as the line began to move. Tanya’s chest tightened. Are Ryan and his stupid friends somewhere in this mass of people with me?

“Allons-y! Make way for Laplace the Great Sorceress!”

“Settle down, Laplace! And lower your voice!”

“Let me know if you trip and hurt yourself, I can take care of little scrapes and stuff,” Nadine chimed in.

Business as usual for Lilium.

“Alright, ladies! Let’s go!”

The Adventurers’ Sparring Tournament was Ode’s oldest tradition, and it attracted competitors from all across the country.

Let the games begin!

*3*

The Sparring Tournament was comprised of two smaller tournaments: the preliminaries, divided evenly into four “blocks,” and the finals, where the winners from each block would then be pitted against each other.

In the prelims, teams of three would compete until either the party leader surrendered or they could no longer do battle. In the finals, each team would compete in one doubles match and two singles matches, with the party leader required to compete in the second singles match.

Parties who placed first or second in the previous tournament were permitted to skip the prelims entirely; everyone else was sorted into blocks, and the battles began. Unfortunately for Lilium, Ryan’s party name was nowhere to be found—in their block, at least.

“Are you sure that sniveling coward will actually make it through the tournament?” Laplace asked, tilting her head quizzically.

It was a valid point. Should Ryan be defeated by another party in the prelims, all their efforts would have been in vain. But Tanya scoffed derisively. “Oh, he’ll be fine. The party landed second place last year, so they’re seeded. All thanks to me and that mercenary he hired.”

“Wow! He’s scum in every way possible!”

Last year, Ryan had insisted that the party needed to make a reputation for themselves... but when it came time to actually compete, he barely lifted a finger. Instead, he entered Tanya into nearly every match and had her spam all of her best offensive spells until they won.

Worse still, he’d hired a mercenary specifically to compete in his name—talk about spineless! It was an affront to all those who tried to compete on their own merits. He’s just a lazy mooch who would rather make everyone else do all the heavy lifting! And the entire party’s full of enablers! Now he thinks he’s better than everyone!

“Goddamn it! He’s probably hired another mercenary this year too! Rrgh... Just you wait, asshole... We just gotta make it to the party leader match...!”

“And that’s where you’ll beat him black and blue, non?”

“OUI, OUI!!!”

If anything, Ryan’s seeded status was a boon that ensured he would be waiting for them in the finals. But to get there, first they needed to win the prelims.

Round one... was a piece of cake.

Commentary from Lilium, the winning team:

T: “Gosh, what can I say? That match went by a lot faster than I was expecting!”

N: “Agreed. I was surprised our opponents put all their stats into Charm.”

L: “Heh heh heh! Clearly they need a real goddess like yours truly to show them the true meaning of seduction—”

T: “Thank you, Laplace, that’s enough.”

Commentary from the losing team:

“Man, fuck this! After all the trouble I went through to hire a high-level Shaman chick who could use Charm... We were gonna defang all the meathead guys and ensure ourselves an easy victory, damn it! How were we supposed to know we’d be up against three women and zero men?! Who does that?!”

Losers, indeed.

This greasy middle-aged man was supposed to be the backbone of his party, but after Lilium knocked him around like a piñata, he was reduced to little more than sour grapes. He was such a pushover they didn’t even need to use magic.

Next!

Round two... was also a piece of cake.

Commentary from Lilium, the winning team:

N: “Well, we were up against two female Healers and one male Knight. I assume their strategy was to have the rear guard spam heals and buffs on the main attacker. However...”

T: “Laplace, I can’t believe you took advantage of the Healers’ skimpy clothes like that! I’m starting to think maybe you are evil after all!”

L: “Non, non! I was just being efficient! If anything, it’s their fault for walking around with their midriffs exposed! Besides, I wanted to take the spotlight for a change!”

N: “Hahaha... No, I don’t think it was their fault. You have to remember, immodest equipment is the norm for women in our society... that, and I really doubt they were expecting you to make it start snowing. Oh, and it’s a good thing that Knight wasn’t all that strong once his buffs were gone. Right, everyone?”

T: “Right you are, Nadine. But just for the record, Laplace, it’s okay if you’re secretly a Villainous Witch or something. I’ll still like you.”

L: “Villainous Witch?! How rude! I already have an alternate title, and it’s much more impressive than that, thank you very much!”

T: “...You mean the Wicked Dragonwhore?”

L: “No, not that one!”

N: “Hahaha... Let’s keep it down, ladies. We entered Laplace under a pseudonym, remember?”

T: “Oh, right! God, that stupid alias! Only Laplace would try to enter a tournament under the name ‘Stone Cold Stunner’!”

L: “Don’t judge me! Besides, you know what they say: always judge a book by its cover!”

T: “No, they don’t! I swear, you’re so obsessed with yourself!”

N: “Guys! Seriously! No fighting!”

...You can imagine the rest.

Commentary from the losing team:

“Man, fuck this! After all the trouble I went through to hire high-level Healers who could cast heals and debuffs... With their help, I was gonna take all the glory for myself, damn it! How were we supposed to know the temperature in the arena would suddenly plummet to sub-zero and make the girls sick?! They ran off to the bathroom and took forever getting back because it was ‘crowded’ or whatever! And for that matter, why the hell were those other chicks wearing all that armor?! Tits or GTFO!”

Losers, indeed.

This arrogant young man was supposed to be the backbone of his party, but after Tanya used Wind Magic to boost her speed for a lightning-fast punch, he promptly passed out. He was such a pushover she didn’t even need to use her sword.

Next!

*4*

The arena lobby was abuzz with conversation. The topic: Lilium.

“Tanya’s so badass! She really ought to have some sort of cool title, like ‘Knight of the Pink Petals’ or something! Am I right?”

“Personally, I’m on Team Stone Cold Stunner! She’s so elegant and aloof, like, ermahgerd!”

“Uh... what’s ‘ermahgerd’?”

“...N-Never mind.”

“You know why I like Nadine? She doesn’t ever take the spotlight, but she can still dodge any attack that comes her way. Plus, she’s just such a cinnamon roll, you know?”

“I know, right?!”

“Totally!”

Women of all ages, young spectators and fully grown adventurers alike, were gushing and swooning like crazy. In contrast, the men all scowled like sore losers. They’d hoped to show off during this tournament so they could get laid, and now Lilium had summarily crushed their dreams.

“You know,” said Female Adventurer A, “I like how humble they are; they don’t gloat despite all their victories.”

Female Adventurer B nodded. “Yeah, and you know what else? I heard they split their quest rewards evenly between the three of them! That way the Healer gets a fair share!”

“Lucky!” sighed Female Adventurer C. “In any other party, us Healers typically get screwed.”

“I really like their equipment, too! It’s so gallant and badass! And it doesn’t seem to impact their fighting ability at all, either... Makes me feel kinda stupid for always dressing so lightly.”

“I know, right? They’re so stylish!”

“I actually passed by Tanya in the hallway a little while ago. She smells like flowers!”

“Ugh... When it comes to the rest of these dudes, we’re lucky if they take a bath once every three days...”

“Ugh! Right?!”

“I wanna join their party so bad!”

And so, in winning the favor of every woman in the arena, Lilium had started to draw attention to itself. Whenever they walked out to compete, the ladies all cheered—and consequently, the men all grumbled and slumped their shoulders.

Nevertheless, Lilium kept winning match after match... until they reached the championship round of the finals tournament. Their opponent: Ryan’s party. And everyone in the audience was on the edge of their seat.

*5*

“This is it... The championship round... Good thing we get a few minutes to rest beforehand,” Nadine sighed as break time rolled around.

“Seriously.” Tanya let out a self-deprecating laugh. All the nonstop sparring had taken its toll.

The arena cafe was almost entirely empty, possibly because none of the other parties felt comfortable “taking it easy” during a nationwide tournament. Relax, tryhards.

It did feel a bit strange, though, having a strategy meeting over tea and cake. Certainly Tanya’s old party would never have allowed it.

“Nom nom nom... Ish sho good...!” Laplace moaned through a mouthful of her third slice.

Meanwhile, Nadine was demolishing a plate of herb-roasted chicken. Evidently she wasn’t much of a dessert person.

“Mmm... This is delicious... When I worked at the Guild, everyone just assumed I liked sweets, so they’d always give me these little boxes of chocolates. It was awful,” she explained.

“Oh, yeah, I bet that was awkward. You felt obligated to accept them, right?”

“Yes, exactly. They were only trying to be nice, after all. I just wish they would’ve thought to ask me if I even liked chocolate.”

Just then, their peaceful moment was interrupted.

“Hey ladiesh, it looksh like we have a vishitor.”

“Laplace! Don’t talk with your mouth full!”

They looked over at the cafe entrance to find a man standing there. Judging from his equipment, he was an Archer.

“You ladies are with Lilium, right?”

Every other party on the tournament roster had an intimidating name, like “Titans” or “Dragons” or “Giants” or “Lions,” so a flowery name like “Lilium” stuck out.

“Yeah, that’s us.”

“What of it?”

“I want to join.”

Evidently this adventurer was impressed with their performance. This was one of the perks of competing in the Sparring Tournament; if your party did well, it made recruiting new members that much easier.

At first blush, this Archer guy was a good-looking fellow who seemed to care about his appearance. As such, their initial impression of him was positive.

“Oh wow, another one? We’ve been getting a lot of tentative recruits today,” Nadine mused.

“Oui, oui. We’re the stars of the show, after all,” Laplace replied.

“I don’t know about that... We’re at least second place, though. That’s pretty impressive.”

All thanks to the Level 100 Magi-Knight and Level 100 Sorceress. Ordinarily they’d never be allowed to compete, but with the addition of one Level 3 Healer, their party average sank to Rank C, enabling them to wipe the floor with a bunch of small-time adventurers who really didn’t stand a chance.

Every single match was a cakewalk, and now the entire stadium audience (men and women alike) couldn’t stop talking about the “rookie party” who’d battled their way to the tournament championship. Hence, this was certainly not the first prospective recruit they’d encountered today; as a matter of fact, this Archer was their twelfth.

However—

“Sooo...” The man glanced around the cafe.

“What is it?”

“Well, I’m told Lilium’s party leader is a super-rare Magi-Knight or something...”

“Yeah...?”

Then he, totally oblivious, turned to Tanya and asked, “So where is he?”

A vein bulged on her forehead and she gritted her teeth. “I’m right here.”

“What?”

“It’s me, okay?! I’m the party leader! And you’re disqualified!!!”

“Wha—?!” Shot down, just like that.

“Are you blind? There’s exactly one person here carrying a giant sword, and you wanna ask me where the leader is? I know I haven’t had much of a chance to show it off since everyone here is total weaksauce, but seriously, do you not have fucking eyes?! Moron!” Tanya spat as the Archer beat a hasty retreat. She was obviously the only Magi-Knight. How could he have looked directly at her sword and still asked her that stupid question? Scowling, she stuffed a big bite of cake into her mouth. “Guess he never stopped to consider that the party leader might be female!”

“Now, now. Just think of it as an easy excuse to say no,” Nadine offered, smiling stiffly.

Indeed, with two party members at Level 100, they couldn’t afford to take on any new recruits or else they’d be promoted out of Rank C. Nevertheless, some of these dudebro adventurers had refused to take no for an answer; as soon as they realized the entire party was female, a lot of them suddenly took on a condescending tone and made comments like, “I’ll bet you ladies are having a tough time without any men around. I don’t mind joining your party if you want.”

“What is it about being male that automatically gives them unshakable confidence? Where does it come from? Their c—?”

“Ne le dis pas! Let’s not get raunchy!”

“What? I was going to say cake, obviously! What gutter is your mind in?”

“Oh, cake. Alright then. Actually, Tanya, can I order another slice?”

“Haven’t you already had, like, ten?! You better be paying for all this!”

And so their break time came to an end... and the championship round was upon them.