Afterword
Afterword
Important Warning!
This book is a direct sequel to Slayers volume seven, Gaav’s Challenge. If you haven’t read it yet, READ IT NOW.
Author = Hajime Kanzaka
L = Lord of Nightmares
S = Shabranigdu
A: It’s here! It’s finally here! Slayers Volume #8, “King of the City of Ghosts,” whose lateness caused trouble across the Four Corners of Earth, is finally here! Done! Compleeeeeete!
L: Aren’t you being contemplative.
A: Have a drink and forget your troubles!
L: …
S: Well, at any rate, it seems that we’ve settled the matter safe and sound.
A: Yep, yep. Slayers Part 1 safely concluded, too. It’s such a deep feeling.
L: Mm. And I got a little screen action this time around.
A: Just a tiny bit, huh?
THWACK!
L: Did you have something you wanted to say? Huh?!
S: I don’t think he’s saying much of anything right now … He hit the back of his head on that chair.
L: Hmph. Humans are so fragile as of late. Now, then; we can’t just sit here satisfied with ourselves, can we? There are tons of announcements we have for you this time.
A: Yes, our first announcement!
L: Hey! You came back?!
A; For this year’s New Year’s Cards, we have original pictures of Hajime Kanzaka and the little brat, L!
L: Little brat?!
A: Would you prefer “rascal,” then?
L: That’s even worse! Besides, no one sends New Year’s cards out in the middle of summer!
A: But, er, I don’t really have any other time to announce this … and it looks like plenty of readers who wrote in last year didn’t get New Year’s Cards. Just say it’s fate and give up, please.
L: You’re writing them this year, dammit.
A: And! Our next announcement!
S: Everyone! What you’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived! Behold: the second Slayers Character Popularity Contest!
Studio Audience: YAAAAAAY! (clap, clap, clap, clap)
A: We have a studio audience?
L: They’re here to add flavor, as they say
A: Ah, yes. The author gives his thanks to everyone at the editorial bureau for allowing and cooperating with his completely whimsical plans. Thank you very much.
S: So, the announcement! Incidentally, the Top 10 in the tally from May of last year were Liol, The Author, A Girl from Back Home, L, Naga, Amelia, and #4, Lina, unexpectedly at #3, Xelloss! #2, Zel, and Gourry was the top selection! Now, how have things changed in the final results?!
L: I hope I didn’t fall any further.
S: Liol the White Dragon easily fell out of 10th place, replaced by Zuuma the Assassin, rising up from #12! In 9th place: why is he so popular?! Holding his interim results position, The Author!
A: Yesssss!
L: Well, some people do go for Zuuma, after all. Liol’s got a fair amount of points going for him, but I guess Zuuma has a few more.
A: Incidentally, Liol dropped to 15th in the final results.
S: Next announcement! 8th place belongs to the ever-
persistent, never-appearing A Girl From Back Home!
A: She was 11th the first time around. She’s gotten more popular in the meantime. I wonder why?
S: And 7th, our beloved L! Furthermore, L is an
abbreviation for Lord of Nightmares.
L: Blech … I didn’t go up any.
S: Coming in 6th is Lina’s rival, she who is mocked by the entire world, the back end of a goldfish, Naga the Serpent!
A: By the way, on plus points alone, Naga got 297 to L’s 251 … which didn’t really mean it was close, though. But Naga got 40 minus points to L’s 140!
L: WHAT?!
A: So when you subtract the minus points from the plus points, Naga was over 100 points. You don’t get out much, see.
L: What have you done to me?!
A: This and that.
L: (mumble, mumble, mumble)
S: Allow us to continue. In 5th place is… why, suddenly dropping from 3rd place in the interim results, Xelloss!
A: He didn’t have many minus points during the interim results, but since “Conspiracy at the Sorcerers’ Guild” was published in the meantime, he suddenly got a lot of minuses and fell to 5th place.
L: Let’s go live on the scene and ask Xelloss his feelings about this.
Xelloss: Oh, my. I’m hated, aren’t I? Ha ha ha.
L: That was live from Xelloss in Noboribetsu!
A: Why Noboribetsu … ?
S: And in 4th place! She’s a strong one: rising in the interim from Xelloss’ fall, Princess Amelia!
A: The secret to her strength is getting a constant point total with a minimum of minus points. That’s popularity for you.
Amelia: Justice indeed wins in the end!
A: And her easy-to-understand commentary.
S: And in 3rd place—oh, my! Zelgadiss! He’s fallen from 2nd place in the interim results!
L: Your ranking fell since the interim results. How do you feel about that?
Zelgadiss: Not really interested, thank you.
L: Er … there’s your commentary from Mister Zelgadiss.
S: Now, then! There’s only #1 and #2 left! First, we’ll announce the plus points!
(drum sounds heard from nowhere in particular)
Gourry Gabriev, 1031 points! Lina Inverse, 1004 points!
A: (heart racing)
S: And for minus, Gourry, 131! Lina, 67! With a total of 937 vs. 900, in 1st place, Lina Inverse!
(crowd goes wild!)
A: She finally did it! Lina Inverse finally defended her honor as main character! She rose from 4th place in the interim results, fighting in a manner befitting a main character, and smashed past the Top 3 to become undisputed Grand Champion!
L: First, we’re linking to our 2nd place winner, Mister Gourry in Nishinippori…
A: Why Nishinippori… ?
L: So let’s dig right in and ask! Mister Gourry, congratulations on winning 2nd place!
Gourry: (sighs)
L: A-anyway, here’s our 1st place Miss Lina for her thoughts!
Lina: Ha! I knew this time would come! Not getting #1 in the voting the first two times around seemed like some kind of main character jinx! I’m happy just to have broken that.
L: And that was Miss Lina Inverse!
S: The others just below the Top 10 were Remii, First Royal Successor Phil, Duclis, and I, Minion S. Incidentally, please direct your votes to me, Shabranigdu, and not that pretender, Rezo Shabranigdu from the 1st volume. And filling out the rest of the Top 20 were: Mina, Riol, Thousand, Rezo, and tied for 20th place, Sylphiel, Clay, and wood golem (?).
A: Even though Minion S got 56 pluses, his 26 minuses kept him from laying a hand on Zuuma. Incidentally, the worst performer, notwithstanding his appearance in
Volume #7 which came out only just before the voting ended, was General Rashatt with 3 minus points. What’s up with the demons … ?
S: There were some strange votes, weren’t there? Lady A, 5 points. Greengrocer Man, 3 points.
A: Who? Who the hell is that?!
L: It gets better. Pasta dish, 5 points. Fine sake, 5 points.
A: They have fans, too?! You mean to tell me pasta dishes have fans?! Okay, for all you who voted like this, if you win the lottery draw, you might get colored paper, or you might get a pasta dish—personally signed by the author either way!
L: See? Now you might come to regret your joke vote.
S: You might find this interesting, too. Bandit A, 6 points.
A: I can’t even remember more than two people who came out who were called “Bandit A.” To go and vote for him … jeez.
S: Precisely. It would seem that Slayers fans are a rather varied lot.
L: Weirdoes.
S: Ah! Are you trying to turn more fans against you?!
L: Mind your own business!
A: In any case, that’s how it is!
S: And so, “Saturday Night Fight! Slayers
Character Popularity Contest #2” is hereby proclaimed! L: With that settled, next time and onward it’ll be Slayers Part 2. But… you are gonna write it, aren’t you?
A: Not to worry! I have the outline of the final chapter of Part 2-in other words, the final chapter of “Slayers,” largely mapped out already!
S: You had Volume #8 here “largely mapped out,” too, but you were still late with it.
A: Um! That’s, uh …
L: The outline of the final chapter? You mean, that story from before?
A:…
L: …
S: …
A: A-anyway, everyone! It’s time to finish this section! Thanks for all your support until now! See you again for Part 2!
L: Don’t toy with me!
(Author dashes out with L and S chasing after him. Curtains.)