A Hard Man is Good to Find

A Hard Man is Good to Find

He certainly was a sight to behold. His entire body was covered in white. He wore a white mantle, a white robe, and a white hood. Everything was swathed in white, but his eyes. And there was someone with him.

“Great. It’s you.” My expression changed as I recognized the mummy man from earlier.

The pair entered the room slowly, the mummy man dragging his feet just enough to flatter me. Gourry closed the door behind them, and the mummy man’s entire body trembled as he glanced back over his shoulder.

The man in white, however, did not move a muscle.

They stopped in the very center of the room, halfway between Gourry and me.

“You two have met, then?”

“Oh yeah, we go way back. Why, just this afternoon we were painting the town red,” I said.

If such a thing is possible, the mummy blanched. The man in white lifted up a hand to keep him in his place.

“We’re always cutting up, aren’t we, my bandaged buddy?”

Guess not.

“My regrets,” said the guy in white. “This is my associate, Zolf. He is most loyal, if overzealous at times. I ask you to please forgive his actions.”

“Fine by me. I’ll just jack up the price,” I sneered. Just then, I noticed for the first time that the man in white was not entirely human. The light in the room wasn’t great, but I could still make out through his hood’s opening that the skin around his eyes was stone. I’d never seen anything like it before, and at first, I thought I was imagining it, but no… no, the guy’s face was made of stone.

Maybe he’s a golem? I considered it. But golems are created to be servile, and this dude’s eyes sparkled with the glint of free will. He was, without a doubt, his own sovereign.

“You are quite the businesswoman. Shall we commence with negotiations?”

“Sure. So, you want to buy an object…”

“I do indeed. One of the objects that you… uh… liberated from a certain band of thieves a short time ago.”

“Any object in particular?”

“I will not say.”

How’s that? I cocked an eyebrow. “You will not say?”

“I will not.”

“I believe we have hit our first bump in the road, then.”

“If I were to specify which object I desire, you might withhold that item from sale, merely out of curiosity, might you not? Here is what I propose: We agree in advance on a price for each object; then I take the one that I desire. I will pay the agreed-upon price at that time.”

“Clever. You know, I don’t remember seeing you at the bandit camp.”

“You did not. I am merely an admirer of the object in question.”

So he says.

“I had initially dispatched Zolf to search for it. He managed to infiltrate the bandit troupe and, using the tracking skills of the thieves, to locate and acquire the object. He too was intent on liberating it from the bandits at the first opportunity, but then…”

“I arrived.”

“Correct.”

“You used the bandits to do your dirty work.”

“I do not think you are in any position to judge.”

Touché. “Okay, I get the general idea. Let’s cut to the chase. The goods are: a statue, a sword, and various old coins. Certainly you’re not interested in the gemstones. They’re ordinary gemstones and not worth much, let alone ‘any price you name.’”

The man in white nodded slowly. “Correct.”

“So okay, let’s start with the blade…” I named my prices in succession.

The man in white was literally taken aback. He actually stepped backward, while the mummy man gawked with both his eyes and mouth wide open. Gourry just stared, dumbfounded (of course).

Men are really not good at this shopping thing.

He said he’d pay whatever price I named. So what’s with the shock?! I asked for a hundred times the street price, which is, granted, enough to buy about a castle and a half, but he said “whatever price you name!” If he’d meant, “whatever price you name WITHIN REASON,” he ought to have said so! Serves him right, if you ask me. Give me the chance to dream, and I’m going to dream big. That’s just the kind of gal I am.

“I came prepared to pay two or three times the street price,” the man in white spat out. “Not a hundred.”

I laughed. Because it was funny.

“This is not a game,” he said, sounding impatient.

“I suppose not. All right, just for you—bargain basement! I’ll cut my prices by half.”

“Half?!”

“Sure. Fifty-percent sale on stolen objects! Get ‘em while they’re hot, boys!” So to speak. Stolen goods. Hot. Get it?

“How dare you,” hissed the mummy man.

“Silence, Zolf!”

How dare I? It wasn’t that hard. I’m daring. It’s what I do.

“I don’t suppose you’ll accept installments, will you?” the mummy snarled under his breath.

“Not likely. I’m also not going to agree to any insulting conditions while I’m being treated like a little kid by a third-rate sorcerer who can’t tell the difference between a fireball and a lighting spell.”

“W-what?” The mummy man’s voice rose an entire octave when he realized that he’d been taken by a phony fireball. “You—! First of all…” He paused to take a deep breath before reading off the litany of my offenses, but the man in white intervened.

“Zolf! I asked you to be quiet!”

The mummy man tucked tail and whimpered at the rebuke.

“Then, as my final offer, perhaps you’ll consider joining us? In a year—no, half a year—you would be paid two, or perhaps as much as three times what you’ve asked for.”

“Hmmm,” I said, crossing my arms and scratching my chin in the universal gesture for “I’m thinking it over.”

“If I refuse your offer,” I asked at last, “you’ll declare me your enemy, won’t you?”

The man in white did not reply. He simply twitched his right eyebrow.

“I’m afraid I must decline your kind offer. I try to make a practice of avoiding your type at all costs. Call it woman’s intuition.”

“Hmph,” he hmphed.

“And intuition or not,” I said, eyes on the mummy, “I’d rather die than be associated with the likes of you.”

Zolf leaned forward and was about to say something he probably thought was both witty and vicious, but the man in white put a stop to that.

Both fear and ferocity met in the space between the man in white and me. The strength of this guy’s will was palpable. He was no ordinary being. We continued to glare at each other for several long moments.

He sighed loudly. “You are a stubborn woman. It seems our negotiations have reached an impasse.”

“That’s too bad,” I said, feigning disappointment.

“Yes. Yes it is. As agreed, I will retire for the evening. Then, as of sunrise tomorrow, I will no longer be honor-bound and will assail you with all my might. You and I will become enemies the moment you set foot outside this inn.”

I nodded almost imperceptibly to indicate my understanding.

He turned his back to me slowly. “Let’s go, Zolf.”

“B-but…”

The man continued toward the threshold, where Gourry held the door.

Zolf hesitated for a moment, then followed the man outside.

“The man in white turned to face us as he spoke. “Oh! I am called Zelgadiss.”

“I’ll remember that,” I replied, dead serious.

Gourry closed the door with a small thud. He waited until he was sure our guests were out of earshot before he finally spoke. “Did you seriously think you’d get your asking price?”

“Of course not! What did you expect me to do—sell the object to that bunch, no questions asked? Are you nuts?”

Gourry shook his head and sighed. He didn’t think I could tell, but even from across the room, I could see he was smiling.

* * *

“Funny how I never get tired of that beautiful sky.” I was lying faceup on a green field, staring up at the clear, clear blue. The sun was warm on my face; the earth was warm on my back. It felt really nice.

We’d finally reached the end of the path that cut through the forest.

The air around us was alive with the songs of birds and thick with the smell of blood.

“Yessiree. That sure is a beautiful sky”

“Hey, Lina…” came a voice from my left. He was lying face up on the field, too.

“Yes, Gourry?”

“I don’t think we should be taking it this easy. Especially while others are still fighting.”

Did I mention the heaps of berserker corpses on the ground behind Gourry and me? No? Well, there were heaps of berserker corpses on the ground behind Gourry and me.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I did fight, though… a little.” “Yeah, you did. I saw you. And I’m not begrudging you that. I’m just saying, you cast one attack spell—which was good—and then you said, ‘I’ll leave the rest to you,’ and that was it.”

“I guess it might seem like that’s what I did.”

“No, Lina, I assure you, that is what you did.” Using his sword like a cane, he rose slowly to his feet.

“I’d like to rest a little bit longer,” I said.

Gourry turned his head toward me, “We’ll be an easy target for them if we don’t get to the next town by day’s end. Get up, Lina. We’re going.”

He wasn’t being unreasonable, but I didn’t feel like tearing myself away from the clouds just yet. I was pretty exhausted from all the hard work I’d done earlier.

“Liiiinaaaa,” he crooned, like a father to his child. Hoping I’d get up and follow, he started to walk away at an unusually slow pace.

“Just five more minutes. It’s nice and warm here. It feels really good.”

“That’s enough!” he shouted and, turning, grabbed my mantle above my right shoulder, jerking me up.

“AAAHHHH!”

The pain was unbearable. My forehead struck the ground as I collapsed, clutching my right hip.

It’s an embarrassing thing to admit, but I have to confess that I’m not very good with pain. Placing my right hand over my wound and focusing my energy there, I managed to croak out a healing spell in an uneven vibrato. It felt like it took a hundred years, but finally the pain receded. A light wound would have healed very quickly, but this one? This one was probably going to take awhile.

“Lina?”

“Hmmm?” I remained as calm as I could under the circumstances. Not that I thought I was fooling anybody, but just for my own well-being.

“You’re hurt?”

I managed a small smile, making it look as feminine as I possibly could.

“It’s just gas, “ I cooed sweetly.

Gourry’s gaze dropped from my face down toward the hip

I was clutching.

“Ugh!” A sharp stab of pain made me yelp again. Gourry abruptly thrust a hand under my mantle and located my wound—it was on my right side.

The dampness he felt there made him pull back his hand in surprise and (knowing Gourry) disgust.

“You’re…” His voice was filled with alarm. “You’re bleeding!”

“Oh, I’m all right,” I said putting on a brave face. I didn’t mean it as a deception, though. The pain really was diminishing.

“You say you’re all right….”

“I am all right, Gourry, I promise. I cast a healing spell just a few minutes ago. I’ll be as good as new in a little bit….” “But—”

“Look, I’d rather have you think I’m lazy than asking me if I’m all right every ten seconds!”

“Sorry…”

“No! No, it’s okay. Just… just let me rest a little bit longer while I heal, all right?”

“Y-yeah… sure.” So Gourry sat in front of me, watching me heal. Which was just about as productive as watching water boil. I was glad he was concerned, but I don’t like people to see me when I’m weak. It makes me feel icky. And there’s nothing worse than feeling weak and icky.

“So you’ve been hurt all this time?” he asked. “You weren’t cloud-watching. You had your hands full trying to heal yourself. I’m so sorry I misunderstood….”

“I told you, Gourry, it’s okay.”

He grew silent. For a while, all we could hear was the wind. “They’re after that thing again,” I said, breaking the silence. “I looked into some stuff while I was alone last night.”

“What stuff?”

“Stuff like what kind of magical mark the mummy man could have placed on whichever object he wanted to track down.”

“Figure anything out?”

I shook my head.

“We’re talking about an Orihalcon goddess statue; a sharp, broad-bladed knife, and a bunch of collectible gold coins. None of these items has any sort of magic mark.”

“Well, what next… ?”

“I think we can rule out the coins. It seems pretty clear that he’s after one object, not a group of objects. That leaves the knife and the statue.”

“Should you be talking so much while you’re wounded?”

“What? Oh, I’m all right. I’m almost fully healed now.”

“Almost fully healed is not fully healed!”

Jeez! Thanks, dad. “I said I’m okay! So anyway, the magic that’s on the knife is probably there to keep it sharpened. It’s not a very high-quality spell. Still, it might carry the mark. On the other hand, the statue is made of Orihalcon, a rare metal that has the power to seal in magic.”

“So you can’t mark that?”

“Yes and no. If you went to the astral plane, you could track the spiritual energy the metal gives off…. Do you see where I’m going here?”

“No clue.”

“Suffice it to say, he could mark either one.”

“More important, why is he so emphatic about whatever it is he wants?”

“That’s just it! I can’t figure it out. Orihalcon is a valuable metal, and the knife’s the product of decent craftsmanship, but there’s nothing eye-popping about either object. But something is making him desperately want one of these items.”

“He said that in half a year he’d give you three times the price you demanded. So, it must be worth even more to him. Maybe the object is supposed to show him where some kind of buried treasure is hidden or something.”

I know what you’re thinking because I thought it, too. The buried-treasure concept sounds like something from a fairy tale, right? Agreed. But it also makes a lot of sense.

“You mean it might be some kind of key. That’s brilliant,” I replied.

“It is?” Gourry was the one who’d thought of it, but he didn’t seem overwhelmed with confidence in his own theory “A magic key! Yes, that could totally be it! I’ve heard of nobles using that kind of thing to safeguard their mansions. Let’s say there’s a fountain in a courtyard that opens up into a treasure vault when a certain young woman enters. In a case like that, the young woman is the key.”

“So this key… could be anything, magical or not, right?”

“Correct.”

“So, if the statue or the knife’s in the right place—”

“Something might happen. Or not.”

“I think I get the gist.”

“It’s not much of an idea, yet. However…” I rose to my feet somehow. Walking was still a bit difficult, but it wasn’t impossible.

“Whoa, there…”

“Jeez, I’m fine. I’m a little worn out, but not helpless.”

As Gourry stood, he eyed me as if I were made of glass.

“Ack!” I cried out as Gourry hoisted me in his arms. It didn’t hurt, it just startled me. “H-hey! Just what do you think you’re doing?!” My face turned the color of a poppy as he explained exactly what he thought he was doing.

“I’m going to carry you for a little while. Just until it’s easier for you to walk.”

“I’m FINE! And you’re tired, too, Gourry…”

“My grandma always made me promise to be nice to little girls,” he said with a wink.

If he’d left out the “little girl” part, I probably wouldn’t have hit him. Oh, well.

* * *

There they go again!

Footsteps. At first, I thought the floor creaking was my imagination. I was exhausted, after all. I’d lain awake most of the night, thinking things over, unable to sleep. What a lucky break that turned out to be! These footsteps weren’t being made by people who’d been out drinking and were finally dragging themselves back to their rooms. These were clearly the footsteps of people sneaking around in the middle of the night, very distinctly trying not to sound like people sneaking around in the middle of the night.

I slipped out of bed. Of course, I couldn’t be sure I was the one being snuck up on, but I figured the chances were pretty good so I might as well be prepared. The footsteps came closer.

I picked my mantle up off the floor.

What? Where did you think it would be? Don’t you know me better than that by now?!

I tucked the mantle under the bed covers, arranging it to look like a sleeping body. I made sure to move very, very quietly.

In no time at all, the footsteps stopped right outside my door. A second later, the door was kicked in and a handful of male silhouettes filed into the room. They headed straight for my bed. There was a terrific moment when they realized the lump under the covers wasn’t me. Silhouettes bumped into one another, jumped up and down, and cursed.

“Well, where the hell is she?!” one of them shouted in frustration.

“Right here, dummy!”

Did I just say that out loud? I knew the second it came out of my mouth that I’d made a big mistake.

Too late to do anything about it now, I thought as I rose to my feet. Besides, I wasn’t a complete idiot. The whole time I’d been sitting there, I’d been preparing. In fact, I’d just finished chanting my spell.

I held my hands together in front of my chest, and began, slowly, to separate my palms. A glittering ball of light appeared in the space between them. It wasn’t a lighting spell this time. This was the real deal: a fireball.

The silhouettes turned toward me, but it was too late. I tossed the fireball into the room and rushed out into the corridor, slamming the door shut behind me.

Of course I made extra sure to check the corridor for other assassins. You really don’t have faith in me, do you?

A fireball detonating behind closed doors normally has double its usual destructive force, FYI.

KA-BOOM!

It was a pretty serious explosion. My fireballs are first-rate, capable of melting steel with a direct hit.

“What the—! What was that?!” Gourry shouted as he rushed from his room. Since he was a mercenary, he and I had a lot in common. Just like me, Gourry was always armed and dressed for an emergency.

“Assassins!” That one word was enough to sum up the situation.

“Did you get ‘em?”

“Dunno!” I confessed. If the attack had come a day earlier, I wouldn’t have hesitated. But, sure enough, as soon as I’d spoken, the door of the room burst open and a flood of silhouettes poured out, accompanied by the stench of burning flesh.

“Dammit!”

Gourry drew and struck with his sword in a single motion. One of his opponents went down. Our newly visible foes were a human wielding a sword and wearing simple armor, with an army of trolls as backup. It didn’t look good.

Gourry took down his second opponent. Unfortunately, the trolls could tolerate both the burns all over their bodies and the cuts from Gourry’s sword, and still keep coming.

They didn’t even seem like average-ability trolls! These guys were polished.

His third opponent; however, was human, middle-aged, and stocky “So you’re with the girl, are you, boy?” the man said, locking swords with Gourry.

“Not bad yourself, pops?”

“That’s the product of experience.”

The two leapt back simultaneously. The first troll that Gourry had put down was getting back onto his feet. That’s regeneration for you. But it wasn’t the time to be admiring Nature’s wonders. We were in a terrible pickle.

It seemed inevitable that while Gourry and the old man were fighting, the trolls would turn their attention my way. Normally I wouldn’t be overly concerned, but right then, I didn’t have the strength to defend myself against an entire army of trolls. My magic was at its absolute weakest point.

The fight should’ve been over the moment Gourry rushed from his room. When he asked, “Did you get them?” I should have answered, “Of course,” and winked in that cute little way I do… and then we’d both have proceeded to put out the fire in my room. Cue the fat lady!

But, no. All I’d managed to do was singe their clothes and hair a bit. I didn’t have the strength to do any real magic.

Mind you, my sword skills aren’t bad at all. They might not be on Gourry’s level, but I do have confidence in my abilities… against human opponents. But, if you can’t use magic, the only way to kill a troll is to lop off its head in a single stroke.

I’d like to restate for the record that it wasn’t that I was helpless with a sword; it was just unlikely that I’d be able to separate a troll’s head from its body in one blow. I’d have to rely on Gourry to do the heavy-duty fighting while I used whatever magic I could against the enemy.

My best bet would be to trick them somehow.

The fact that the battlefield was a narrow inn corridor meant that the enemy couldn’t attack all at once. They’d have to come at us in waves.

That, at least, was the good news.

“Let’s get on with it!” hollered the old man, obviously ready to fight.

Just then, the trolls halted in their tracks. The old man suddenly seemed to be staring into space. There was no spark of life in his eyes at all. It had to be a puppetry spell.

Puppetry is not a particularly difficult technique. Trolls and other simple-minded creatures fall prey to it easily Ordinarily, a puppetry spell is used on a single opponent, allowing the sorcerer to use his or her opponent as a tool for a specified amount of time. However, using it on all the trolls and the old guy simultaneously was well beyond the capabilities of any average sorcerer. This particular practitioner had to possess great power.

“Uh, what’s with them?” Gourry inquired.

A lone priest beat me to the reply. “It is difficult to have a conversation in this inn when the other guests are causing such a ruckus,” he said.

The priest, unnoticed until now, had been standing quietly behind the trolls, near the exit. He seemed friendly enough. I couldn’t get a handle on his age. He looked both young and old at the same time, and I couldn’t see his eyes, as he kept both of them tightly shut.

Usually priests’ robes are white, possibly accented with violet or pale green, or a color associated with the primary deity in his or her congregation.

But this priest’s robes were a deep-red color. It was a blood red, or possibly poison red, I couldn’t be sure in the corridor’s dim light.

“To whom do we owe thanks for our rescue?” I asked.

“I am but another guest staying at the inn. I noticed something suspicious and decided to investigate the matter.”

“Sounds just like you, doesn’t he?” whispered Gourry. I ignored him completely. This was serious business.

“And you’ve put the rest of the guests under a sleeping spell?”

The man’s face indicated the affirmative. “What gave it away?”

“Pretty simple, really. No one’s come by to investigate all that racket we were making.”

“A crowd of curious bystanders would have made a difficult situation much worse—”

“So what’s all this got to do with you?” I interrupted.

The priest snapped his fingers. At his command, the trolls and their companion marched away in single file, as if under a sorcerer’s control.

“I have seen this group before. They are minions of Zelgadiss.”

“You know him?”

“I do,” the priest nodded. “Zelgadiss seeks an object that you possess. His purpose is to revive the Dark Lord Shabranigdu.”

Well now, this was turning out to be serious business.

“Huh? What’s Sha… Shabra-whosiwhatsit?” Gourry asked, embarrassing me horribly.

“I’ll explain later,” I replied through gritted teeth. Kids these days. Yeesh.

“Wait. You’re not kidding about this?” he asked.

“No, Gourry. Not even the tiniest bit.” I turned to the priest. “Please, go on.

“I assure you, Zelgadiss is a deadly serious concern. He is a chimera—composed of man, golem, and blow demon. He is plotting to use the immense power of the Dark Lord to rend the world asunder.”

“That’s nuts. Why would he want to do something like that?” The priest turned his head. “I do not know. I am certain only that he is, and must be, our mutual enemy.”

Uh-huh. I have a bad feeling about this.

“Our mutual enemy? Wait… when did you become his enemy?”

“I am a priest. I cannot simply stand by while someone—or something—seeks to revive the Dark Lord.”

“Okay, that makes sense…” I mused aloud and folded my arms while Gourry looked on beside me, completely lost.

“So, you want to fight him together?”

“No, I could not make such a request.” The priest shook his head, obviously flustered. I have that effect on my elders.

“It is my guess that by chance you unknowingly came into possession of the key to releasing the Dark Lord, and he has made you his enemy as a result. Am I correct in making that assumption?”

“Something like that.”

“Perhaps it would be best if you gave me the key. No further involvement would be required of you.”

“Under these circumstances, wouldn’t it be best if I just destroyed the key—”

“No! You must not!” the priest shouted, disconcerted. “That is how the Dark Lord is to be revived.”

“But, if we give you the key, you’ll have to battle him all by yourself.”

“You need not be concerned for me. Certainly he is a difficult opponent, but I Rezo the Red Priest, have no intention of being defeated by the likes of Zelgadiss.”

The Red Priest? “You mean, you’re Rezo the Red Priest?” I asked, blushing.

“That is how I am called,” he said, smiling bitterly.

Rezo the Red Priest is famous the world over not only for his simple red vestments, but also for his good deeds. He is a master of spiritual powers equal to those of the High Priest of Saillune, and one of the Five Great Sages of our age; a master not only of the White Magic associated with priests, but of Shamanic Magic and Black Magic, as well. He is known to have only two faults: He was born completely blind in both eyes, and… oh, shoot. I know there was another one… oh, that’s it! His name makes him sound like a villain. He’s so famous, every five-year-old in the world knows who he is.

I felt a tugging on my mantle from behind. It was Gourry.

“So… he’s famous?”

You bonehead. “Yes! I’ll explain later.”

I regained my composure and continued my dialogue with the celebrated priest. “If that is the case, you must allow us to do battle by your side.”

“Well…”

“C’mon! After hearing all that, I can’t just say, ‘Sure, here you go. Good luck fighting the big, bad demons,’ now can I?”

“I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I assure you…”

“No, no, no! It’s not that I doubt your abilities—that’s not it at all. But, if the Dark Lord is revived, no one will be safe. I realize my powers are nowhere equal to your own, but surely I c an assist Your Holiness in fulfilling your mission.”

The priest’s expression showed concern. “But…”

“Now, don’t go worrying about us either! I’m a pretty top-notch sorceress, and Gourry here’s a damn good swordsman. We won’t slow you down.”

The priest sighed heavily. “Very well, then. It seems I cannot turn away one so determined to serve the greater good.”

“Yes!”

“When the time comes, we shall go into battle together.”

“Right on!”

Gourry tugged on my mantle from behind repeatedly. I ignored him.

“In the meantime, I will safeguard the key,” said the priest.

Nuh-uh, you won’t. I shook my head.

The priest was visibly perturbed.

“They don t know we’ve joined forces. With all due respect, I think it’s best for Gourry and I to draw the enemy off while you support us from the shadows… Your Holiness.”

“But… that strategy puts you in great danger. I should be the decoy.”

“Noooo, if you have the key, they’ll know we’ve made contact. If they know that, then our plan will be exposed, and having a decoy will be pointless.”

“That may be the case, but…”

“Your Holiness, that is the case. Please trust me.”

I would understand if you started to think something fishy was going on about now Gourry sure seemed like he thought so.

“Very well! I will leave the key in your hands for the time being.” That said, the priest walked toward my room.

What the… ?!

He withdrew a small ball from his pocket and tossed it inside the open doorway. Then, he quietly chanted a spell. It seemed like a resurrection spell, but slightly different. Then, just as soon as he had started to chant, he stopped. I wasn’t even sure he had finished.

“I will return to my own room. As agreed, I will assist you from the shadows from tomorrow forward. Sleep well.” He started walking off before he’d even finished speaking.

“Well, your room looks totally normal.” Gourry said, as he peeked his head inside. “What on earth did he do?”

“Let me see…” I peeked into the room as well.

Wow! I was completely speechless.

As Gourry said, the room looked totally normal. Right down to the unmade bed and the cheap white curtains. Everything was exactly the same as it was before I tossed my fireball.

If the room had stayed crispy, I was in for a nasty lecture from the innkeeper the next morning. I hadn’t considered what I was going to do about that, but now I wouldn’t have to. Rezo the Red Priest had restored my room to its pre-firebomb condition. Thanks, Rezo!

“He’s good.” I whistled appreciately.

“Oh yeah? What’s so good about him?”

“Let’s save it for tomorrow. Right now, I need some shut-eye. I can’t be fighting bad guys without my beauty sleep.” As I spoke, I closed the door to my room and entered Gourry’s, curling up in a corner.

“Um… excuse me there, little lady.” Gourry called out to me. “You’re in my room…”

“I know.” I explained it as simply as I could: “If I go back to my room, there might be another attack.”

“How would being in my room—?”

“Two people are more reassuring than one.”

“Got it. You sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“I can’t do that. I’m imposing as it is.”

“… Fine, fine.”

Knowing he couldn’t sway me, Gourry lay down in a corner on the opposite end of the room.

“Er… why don’t you sleep in the bed?” I was the one asking this time.

“A man can’t sleep in a bed while a girl’s sleeping on the floor,” he announced. Clearly, this was the obvious truth.

I managed a strained smile.

“Well, suit yourself… good night, Gourry.”

“Night-night, little lady.”

Sigh. He really is a good guy. I just wish he wouldn’t treat me so much like a kid.

* * *

“So, you really don’t know anything about Ruby Eye Shabra-nigdu, the Dark Lord?” I asked him as we walked shoulder-to-shoulder down a sunlit path. The bit of forest around us looked exactly like the one we’d just hiked a few days before. Seeing the same trees over and over and over again was getting on my nerves. And since the road cut through the Great Kresaus Forest all the way to Atlas City, of course that meant we would be seeing a lot more of the same trees before we actually arrived in town. Oh, goody.

“Hmmm…” mumbled Gourry, trying to recall. “Nope, not a thing.”

The legend of Shabranigdu is downright famous, and not just among sorcerers, either! Everybody knows the story. Everybody except Gourry, apparently.

I let out a loud sigh. “All right. I’m only going to tell the story once, so listen carefully.”

“Listening.”

I sighed again, and doubted that Gourry was even capable of understanding the philosophical weight of what he was about to hear. I guessed not, but I went on with the story anyway, figuring that as long as we were stuck walking through monotonous rows of trees, I might as well make an effort to entertain myself.

“The universe comprises more worlds than just the one in which we live. A very, very long time ago, a countless number of staves were thrust up into the Sea of Chaos and around each stave there formed a world, both flat and round. Imagine the earth as a pie with a stick thrust into it from below. Like that! And one of those worlds is the one we’re living in right here and now.”

I pointed at the ground, just in case “here and now” was a tough concept for Gourry to grasp. While this theory represents the prevailing view among sorcerers even today, I was conveying it in a nontraditional way. If I hadn’t, I’m certain it would have flown in one blond-curl-covered ear and right out the other.

“In ancient times, across the many worlds, a great war waged between two great races. One was the Gods, the other the Demon race, Mazoku. The Gods were protectors of the worlds, while the Demons sought to destroy the worlds by seizing the staves on which they were supported.” Lina proceeded, with a deep breath, “On some worlds, the Gods would win—bringing peace. On other worlds, the Demons would win—and the worlds would be destroyed. This war continues to this day, on some of those worlds.

“On our world,” resumed Lina, “the Dark Lord Ruby Eye Shabranigdu; and the God, Flare Dragon Ceipheed, who is also known as the Dragon God, fought for domination. Their battle continued for thousands of years, until finally, the Dragon God split the Dark Lord’s body into seven pieces and sealed up each piece separately across the world.”

“So the Gods won?” Gourry guessed.

I shook my head. “All the Dragon God did was seal the remnants of the Dark Lord. He didn’t destroy them.”

“But still, the Mazoku’s body was cut into pieces, right?”

“That’s not enough to kill a Dark Lord. Anyway, once the remnants of the Dark Lord were sealed, the Dragon God sank into the Sea of Chaos, his power exhausted.”

“He needed a nap… ?”

“It wasn’t a nap! Fearing the eventual revival of the Dark Lord, the Dragon God used the last of his power to divide himself into four different dragon lords, each occupying their respective elements of earth, air, fire, and water. These various dragon lords would protect the four cardinal points—east, west, north, and south. It’s said that division took place about five thousand years ago.

“About one thousand years ago, the Dragon God’s fear was realized. One of the seven pieces of Shabranigdu was restored by a human whose mind and body had been taken over by the Dark Lord in an effort to revive himself.

“When the Dark Lord invaded the north, fighting through the water dragon lord’s well-prepared traps, he prevailed, destroying the water dragon lord in the process. However, his own body became bound to the earth as a result, and he was no longer able to move.”

“Well that didn’t get either of them anywhere,” interjected Gourry.

“It happened because they were practically equal in power,” I explained. “Anyway, that effort destroyed the balance that kept peace in the world, which is what, in turn, made the dark creatures appear.”

“Huh, no kidding?” Gourry seemed pretty impressed. “Well,” I clarified, “whether the myth about the origin of the world is literally true or false, something named Shabranigdu, calling itself the Dark Lord and possessing immense power, existed in this area oh-so-many years ago. And something else had similarly existed in the lands to the north.”

“So…” Gourry paused, putting the pieces together. “That Zel-what’s-his-name guy in white wants to put the seven pieces together and bring this Dark Lord back again?”

“Precisely Assuming what Rezo the Red Priest said is true, that is.”

“Now that you mention it,” Gourry said in a voice approximating a whisper. (I do pride myself on having excellent hearing, remember.) “You spoke pretty highly of that Rezo guy to his face,” he noted, “but I didn’t get the impression you trusted him.”

Bingo, Gourry.

“It’s all a matter of perspective, I suppose…” I spoke in a low voice as well. “How do we know this guy is the real Rezo? Rezo is a living legend, but no one’s reported seeing him in person for at least a decade.”

“So you think one of the bad guys might be calling himself Rezo, just to get close to us?”

“Could be.”

“How do you know I am who I say I am, Lina? You seem to trust me.”

“You think I trust you?” I teased.

“Hey, that’s harsh!” Gourry complained.

“I’m kidding. You don’t look like a guy with ulterior motives.”

“Thanks, little lady,” Gourry said like he was patting a puppy on its head.

Way to ruin a moment, pal. Again!! “Gourry, you really have to stop treating me like I’m a kid,” I pleaded. Honestly, my biggest fear was that I was actually starting to get used to it!

“You keep saying that, but how old are you, anyway?”

“Twenty-five.”

Gourry turned beet red.

“I’m kidding! I’m actually fifteen.”

“Whew, you almost gave me a heart attack there. Ah, so you’re fifteen. You are still a kid, see?”

“What?! Well, I’m… I’m not exactly an adult, but I’m not a little kid, either.”

“Tough age to be, huh?”

“What exactly is that supposed to mean? Look, just… whatever. Let’s forget about it, all right?”

I took a deep breath and tried to return my voice to something resembling a normal tone. “I’m not going to be able to use magic for the next few days. So, you’re going to have to do most of the fighting in the meantime, okay? I’ll help out however I can.”

“You can’t use magic?” He was caught off guard, for sure, but he wasn’t as shocked as I was expecting.

I nodded slowly.

“Oh…” Gourry said, deep in thought. “That time of the month?”

“Gourry!” I was blushing deeply.

“What?” He looked me right in the eyes and repeated, “Well? Is it?”

I averted my gaze. “What do you know about ‘that time of the month’?”

As hard as it is to imagine, women with powers have an even worse time during their period than those who don’t. For two or three days during that time, the powers of sorceresses, priestesses, and shrine maidens weaken to the point where they’re unable to use magic effectively. FYI: The old wives’ tale claiming that a sorceress, who loses her virginity during her period, will become an ordinary, non-magical woman is a myth. My real problem was much simpler, though: My magic powers would remain very low for the next day or so; there-fore, if we were attacked, which we most certainly would be…

Oh, never mind all that. My real problem was how to get over the fact that Gourry, who seemed to have the strength of an ogre and the intellect of a jellyfish (I think that’s a fair assessment), figured out that “I can’t use magic” meant “It’s that time of the month”!

“It’s not a big deal,” he said. Of course it wasn’t a big deal— to him! It was a huge, embarrassing deal to me.

“When I was a kid, about five years old or so,” he went on, “there was this old fortuneteller woman who lived near us. She closed her shop for a few days every month like clockwork. When I asked her why, she smiled and said, ‘It’s that time of the month.’ I figured out that women can’t use magic during that time of the month, but I’ve never really been clear on how exactly they know when it’s the right time of the month to be that time of the month. So what’s the story, Lina? Can you explain it to me?”

Unbelievable! Clearly, I’d been wrong about all that “nice guy” nonsense. Gourry was obviously a horrible cretin who got his jollies by making fun of vulnerable young women. Jerk!

“Whoops! Enough playtime.” Gourry’s demeanor abruptly turned serious. “Looks like we have a problem, little lady”

I stopped walking. Dense forest covered our right flank. There was a large clearing to our left. Directly in front of us, however, stood a man resolutely blocking our way. He wore an overcoat and appeared to be around twenty-two. He was also fairly good-looking, if you happen to have a thing for guys with dark-blue stony skin and silvery, metallic hair. (You never know, you might.) He held a broadsword in both hands.

I realized then who he was.

“So, Mr. Zeligaldiss” Gourry spoke first. The big boss finally shows his face….”

Um. Gourry… ? “I think it’s Zelgedes, isn’t it?”

“ZELGADISS!” the man shouted, obviously annoyed.

Don’t you hate it when people get your name wrong? You’d be shocked to hear the many ways that people can screw up ‘Lina Inverse.’ Seriously, the mind reels.

Gourry said nothing.

I said nothing.

Zelgadiss heard us say nothing and said nothing in reply.

The tension hung in the air, thick as gravy. Lumpy, disagreeable gravy.

Someone had to say something! “That’s what I said!” I blurted out. “Zelgadiss!”

“M-me too…” added Gourry, unconvincingly.

“My name is not important,” Zelgadiss shouted back. I wasn’t buying it. He seemed pretty pissed. “I have come for the object. If you still refuse to listen to reason, you will leave me no choice but to take it by force. Choose carefully, Miss Sophia.”

Who…?

Gourry and I each looked around and over our shoulder, just in case Miss Sophia was hiding behind a bush.

“Ooooh!” We both figured it out at the same time. There was no Miss Sophia. That was the name I’d given to Zolf, the mummy fellow, that night at the inn. He must have thought I’d given him my actual name, which he then gave his boss. Dumb as he looks, that guy.

“I’m called Lina!“ I shouted.

“What?” Zelgadiss’ voice was sounding progressively more distraught.

“Liinaa! Sophia was an alias I gave to that Zolf guy,” I explained.

Zelgadiss didn’t react at all. We’d succeeded in our strategy of throwing our opponent off balance using only the weapon of incredibly boring repartee. Cool.

Oh, you laugh, but every good warrior knows half the battle is fought in the mind. It’s a fact. You can look it up.

“Who cares what your name is?” a second voice queried. Whoever the speaker was, he was right behind us. I turned around very slowly and found myself face-to-body hair with… a werewolf!

Or… possibly not a werewolf. He might have been half wolf and half troll; it was tough to tell. Anyway, if the term werewolf didn’t technically apply, then try beast man. Or, dork, though that’s not a technical term, strictly speaking. Regardless, the dude had the head of a wolf and the body of a man. He carried a large scimitar over his shoulder, and he was wearing a really dweeby-looking suit of leather armor. Heh, heh.

“So boss, we just need the goddess statue and that’s it, right?” asked the were-dweeb.

“Dilgear!” Zelgadiss snapped.

Uh oh, you’ve done it now, Dilgear.

Dilgear the dork-wolf took a moment to put together just exactly how he’d screwed up. “Oh… oops! Sorry, boss. We were supposed to call it ‘the object’ around them, huh? Well, it don’t really matter, since I was figuring on killing them anyways.”

I took a step forward, insulted. “Uh, excuse me!” I shouted. “We can hear you, you know. And frankly, I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with. You’re not even in my league, Fido.”

Dilgear narrowed his eyes in my direction.

“You have an awfully big mouth for such a little lady,” he harked. “Let’s see what’cha got!”

“Fine. But a two-on-two fight’s not going to be interesting enough for us with you clowns,” I said, “One-on-two’s plenty for the likes of you. Go ahead, Gourry—get ‘em!”

“What?!” He looked at me like I’d signed him up for suicide duty, which, if you ask me was seriously overestimating Dilgear’s abilities. “W-wait just a second, little lady!”

Dammit, Gourry! I told you you’d have to do the fighting….

“What’s this one-on-two nonsense, anyway?” a third voice piped up. This time it was a voice I’d heard before. “Are you trying to leave me out of the fun?”

I knew it!

The old man, who’d attacked my room with trolls the previous night, appeared and stood beside Zelgadiss. This time he was equipped with a formidable halberd. It was so impressive, in fact, that I found myself wondering just where he did his halberd shopping. I decided, sadly, that would be too weird a thing to ask on the battlefield.

“Hey, three against one isn’t fair!” I exclaimed instead.

“Yeah!” added Gourry, witty as usual.

“I don’t know what you did to us last night, but I’m pretty sure it won’t work today,” said the old man.

He was right. We were at a serious disadvantage. Our chances for escape, let alone victory, were looking pretty slim. I had to think of something.

“Enough waiting! Let’s go!” Zelgadiss moved. Thrusting his right hand out in front of him, he formed a dozen or so Flare Arrows out of the ether.

Flare Arrows! Damn.

Gourry and I leapt for cover, but a moment later the Flare Arrows were striking and exploding between us, filling the air with fire and smoke. We lost sight of each other.

Oh, crap. We’re separated. Not good…

Across the flames, I could hear the high-pitched screech of clashing metal. I figured it was Gourry crossing blades with the enemy. I figured one of the swords for Gourry, but I couldn’t make out his opponent through the haze.

“Gourry!” I yelled in the direction where I heard the sc reeching sound. I caught the glint of someone’s sword. Something whizzed by and barely missed me.

“Ah!” I leapt and drew the sword from my hip.

“Let us see—” In the midst of the weakening flames, a form was becoming visible before me.”—how good you really are!”

“Zelgadiss!”

“Haa!” Zelgadiss slashed. I parried.

“Gii!” I couldn’t see. I lost my balance and nearly dropped my blade.

Zelgadiss was a real pro. His every blow displayed ample speed and power. My strength wasn’t going to hold up against him for long.

Right now; there is no way I can beat him.

I figured I had no choice but to run. I spun around and sprinted into the woods. Zelgadiss would follow me for sure. I planned to lose him in the forest, then get back to the action and support Gourry. That was Plan A, anyway. Too bad there wasn’t a Plan B.

Zelgadiss did pursue me into the forest. That much went as I’d hoped. But once in the forest, he overtook me in an instant. Less than a second inside the trees, I felt a knee hit me hard in the gut.

The counter I attempted with my sword was laughable; I swung and hit nothing but air.

My back slammed into a tree. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe.

“Don’t you know you’re not supposed to,” I stopped for a moment to cough up blood, before continuing, “hit girls?” I was down, but not out.

Okay, I was very nearly out. But I was holding on for the time being, trying to get a fix on the direction of my enemy.

“If you’d handed the object over when I requested it, I wouldn’t have had to resort to this nastiness!” he sneered.

His voice gave me a fix on his general location, if not his exact position. I ran in the opposite direction. Zelgadiss pursued.

“Light!” I shouted, lobbing a feeble sphere in his direction. For no other reason than dumb luck, I scored a direct hit.

“Guaahh!” he shrieked. It wasn’t nearly enough to beat him, but it did distract him for a moment.

In my condition, I could manage a lighting spell, but a fireball was out of the question.

I fled, tucked tail, and ran like my life depended on it, because, well, my life depended on it. I didn’t even entertain the notion of mounting a counterattack. I doubted my sword could penetrate stone skin, anyway.

I sped through the woods to the shore of a small lake. I was trapped and exposed. In a panic, I turned back toward the shelter of the forest.

Zelgadiss stood between safety and me.

There was nowhere else to go. I began running along the shore.

“You won’t escape!” he taunted, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him toss something at me.

I tried moving to my left without turning around. But… I couldn’t. Looking back, I saw the metal blade that Zelgadiss had tossed: pinned to the ground, straight through my shadow.

A Shadow Bind! It was a simple but effective technique used to bind an opponent’s movements from the astral plane.

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no!

I tugged at the blade, but it wouldn’t budge. Think, Lina. Think!

I know! I chanted a lighting spell and suspended the sphere directly over the shadow Once I’d eliminated my shadow, my body could move freely again!

Too late! I turned to find myself face-to-face with Zelgadiss.