Tactical Hankies

SOLVEIG

I just want to be respected. Is that so much to ask for?!

She kicked the jail carriage that kept her prisoner.

“Don’t bother throwing a tantrum girl,” the sleazy-looking old man sneered from out front. “These bars are enhanced with the very best wards I can conjure.”

She ran to the metal bars and grabbed them, shouting, “Once I prove who I am, you’ll be sorry!”

“Of course, of course.”

The soldiers that accompanied the carriage sneered as he said it.

“Problem is, these guards won’t take your evidence very seriously.”

“...Fine, I don’t need to prove myself anyway!”

She circled a little while longer, muttering to herself, before finally collapsing flat on her back, though not without first thrashing her limbs around in one last fit of frustration.

She huffed.

Gods, Solveig couldn’t convince a baby that she was a hero even if she tried.

She did everything right, didn’t she? She exuded an intimidating and overwhelming aura, she stood her ground, she didn’t bend to the whims… of… an ‘emporror’ or whatever.

And still, they didn’t treat her with the reverence she deserved!

People of authority stealing from her glory was all too common these days, but she didn’t think it’d follow her after she got kicked out of her tribe, too!

Eventually, she stopped thrashing, staring at the roof of the cart.

Stay… calm…

She sucked in her snot.

Stay calm, damn it!

“Are you crying?”

Was that the cute blonde boy? Crap, crap, crap, think of something, anything—! “M-My eyes are just sweating! It’s hot in here, y’know?!”

…

Really, Solveig?

“I’m starting to think you’re some kind of pathological liar,” he said.

She hiccuped sadly. “Nyo, I’m not…”

“Why cry?” he asked. “Aside from the obvious.”

“No one ever takes me seriously…”

“That you’re a goddess? Gee, I wonder why.”

“I was never a goddess…!”

“Then why take Solveig’s name?”

“I didn’t pick my name! It was just given to me by my parents!”

One of Cain’s hands reached for something in his pocket… probably something to shut her up—

“Here.”

What… what’s this?

A weapon that can be folded into multiple corners, pliable as she liked, as well as looking inconspicuous? This would have been useful in those early days…

Cain raised an eyebrow. “It’s a napkin. You know. For wiping?”

“Oh.” Then she thought of the implications.

An object of personal affection. Probably gifted by his father. He trusted me with that?!

“Wow…” she whispered.

"Are you crying even more?!"

"N-Nyo! I mean, m-maybe! J-Just give it to me already!"

She snatched the napkin from his outstretched hand and turned away, honking into it with all the grace of a goose. Something long and green made the journey from her nose into the fabric, stretching for a moment before it finally let go with a sharp snap.

She examined her handiwork before holding the napkin back out to him.

"I’m done.”

Cain looked at it.

“On second thought, you can keep it…”

"Oh. Gee." Her whole face lit up. "Thanks so much! That's really kind of you!"

The people of this world sure were generous.

Wait…

“Does that mean we’re friends?!”

Cain looked positively disgusted.

“Where did you even get that idea?!”

She immediately deflated. “Drat…”

“Jeez, you’re even sadder than I thought.”

Cain looked back at the road for a moment, his perfect hair bobbing along with the thumps of his horse.

It was a while before he spoke again.

“My actions, my moral compass, my life … I modeled it after Solveig, blessed be Her name,” the arrogant boy said arrogantly.

Solveig blushed at the thought of such a boy giving her any mind. “...R-Really?”

“And you’re telling me that I have to reconcile that image with the girl in the cage?”

“Hey!!!”

“It’s blasphemy to even think she’s not the fair maiden the stories speak of. She’s brave, she’s tough, she gets stuff done—but most importantly, she didn’t compromise her affection for the little guy.”

“Well, for the record, that does sound exactly like me. You’re basically insulting your goddess right now!”

“You look like a friggin’ kid, no offense.”

“G-Guh…!” Solveig looked down, pouting. “But I’m eating more, I swear…”

She was poking at her flat-as-a-board belly when Cain decided to rudely put her down some more.  “And a goddess certainly wouldn’t kill the Great Beast because of an inferiority complex…”

Solveig whined. “Like I keep telling you guys, the bear attacked first, not me !”

She stomped her foot down.

“ Grr, fine! What’s it gonna take for you to trust me?! You got people you want dead? Well, they’ll be as good as dead come sunrise!”

“ W-What? ”

Solveig puffed her cheeks. “Knew you’d come along.”

“I don’t want anyone dead.”

“What kind of leader’s son doesn’t want people dead?”

“Good leaders don’t need to kill people to get their point across!”

“Ahh… so, you’re one of those,” she said annoyedly. “I’ve dealt with them before.”

“What, normal human beings?”

“Nah, softies. You know, in my time, people really thought they could negotiate with a Demon King. Pah. Don’t worry, we’ll rub that idealism out of you real quick once we start making moves.”

Cain sputtered. “Who’s WE?!”

“You’re the next in line for leadership of this place, are you not?”

He considered his response. “...To my chagrin. Yes.”

“Then as a null mage extraordinaire, I can help you move up the totem pole, so to speak!”

For some reason, he shuddered at her more-than-adequate offering.

People would literally kill to be in his position. Changing the world! Who doesn’t want that?

“Prove it,” he eventually said.

“Eh?”

“Prove you’re as powerful as you say you are. Break your chains.”

“I… I might be powerful. But I’m not suicidal!”

“So all of that’s just been talk, huh?”

Her face turned red. “Clearly, your father’s clearly suppressing his mana; less powerful than he lets on. His ropes are probably the same. See? Look—”

RRRRRRIP!

The ropes that bounded her fell onto the ground.

…

"Huh?”

"H-Hah!" Cain laughed.

“Huh?!”

"You fool! Those were clearly just practice ropes. For new recruits! He probably assumed you wouldn't have been able to break out of them at all, so there was no point wasting the real ones."

"Really?" Sadness bloomed across her whole face. "So they weren't even trying?"

"Nope."

“Nyo..."

She sagged back against the side of the carriage.

For some reason, Cain wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead, despite the fact that it was, quite clearly, a cold day.

She was still stewing in her thoughts, replaying the humiliation over and over, when the carriage jerked forward hard enough to nearly fling her off the bench entirely.

She was so light the motion nearly sent her sliding straight to the far end of the carriage.

"OWIE!"

"Something's not right," Cain said, all traces of his earlier smugness gone in an instant. "Father?"

"I spot movement." The Duke's voice carried back from out front. “Soldiers! Formations! Formations!”

The five soldiers they brought with them grimaced, taking their positions along their flank.

Then, suddenly—

shrrrinnngggg

To Solveig’s right, something cut through the air fast enough to blur!!!

gggggGGGGG—THUD!!!

"A-Ah..."

Cain went pale white as an arrow, one that had clearly been meant the back of his skull, hung frozen mid-flight, caught inches from his face in the shimmering weave of a forcefield.

It was instinct, more than thought, that got Solveig’s hands moving.

"WOOOP! WOOOP!"

"AYAYAYAY!"

"WAAAOOOO!! WAOOO…"

Telltale battle calls, coming from all sides… Solveig realized.

"Reveal yourselves," the Duke shouted, already turning his horse to face the treeline. "Face us, you slaver cowards!"

Solveig’s eyes widened. Slavers?!

"If you insist," came the reply.

A voice from the trees, followed by its owner—a tall, slender man stepping out into the dirt road with an unhurried gait. Two stocky men fell in behind him, then more; emerging as if the forest itself was peeling apart to let more through.

Solveig's eyes darted across the gathering line.

Fifteen… Twenty… no, actually, thirty by her count, and still more shapes shifting among the trees behind them.

Like, she was honored to have been made this big a target and all, but unless you were the Demon King, this was a little much .

Gods on sticks… she’s had enough of dealing with them for a lifetime.

But what could they want with a bunch of important people they can’t enslave without massive political consequence anyway…?

Then her heart stopped.

No way…

Were they here for me?!