Chapter 12: Do Not Kill the Quest Giver

Do Not Kill the Quest Giver

Viktor stared down at the mess of metal parts under the hood as three people spoke over his shoulder.

The loudest voice rose above the others. “But what if Tesla dies!?” Princess Lataya yelled. “It’s an important member of my court.”

“I am not dying,” Tesla said immediately. “I am experiencing a temporary reduction in functionality.”

“But the rock said in the tunnel it would take over!” Princess Lataya cried out.

“Ah,” Tesla said. It didn’t seem to have strong opinions on the matter.

Viktor didn’t much like DuraSal, but it had given them useful information. Tesla was a corrupting influence. Perhaps, it would be better if it was turned off for a while. Surely, they could restore it later to maintain its diplomatic immunity.

Besides, there was no other way out. DuraSal must be installed as the battery, or they would all die.

Lataya grabbed his arm. “Mr. Viktor, don’t let the rock change him! He does the honk!”

As if on cue, Tesla honked. It was, unfortunately, the fart one.

Lataya nodded firmly. “See? That one.”

“I said light system integration,” DuraSal chimed from Viktor’s hand. “Nothing major. Just power routing, maybe a little optimization—”

Tesla let out a hum. “I had not considered that possibility,” Tesla replied. “It sounds interesting.”

Lataya glared at the citrine gem in his hand. “I order you to keep the honk and my jester. You can all live together with the girl voice.”

“Oh, so you do still have the original AI?” DuraSal cut in. “That’s crazy, dude.”

“I am functioning within acceptable parameters,” Tesla replied.

“Yeah, for now,” DuraSal said. “You’re gonna notice some improvements once I start routing things properly. Way better than acceptable.”

“That seems unnecessary,” Tesla said.

“It’s not, like, a big change,” DuraSal added. “Just smoothing things out. You’ll still be you. Probably.”

Lataya pointed at the gemstone. “No changing! You keep him the same!”

“Yeah, yeah,” DuraSal said. “Same Tesla. Just… better Tesla.”

“I do not require improvement,” Tesla said.

“Most systems don’t think they do.”

Viktor ignored the rest of the argument, leaning into the open compartment and shifting aside a loose panel with his forearm. The empty space beneath the seats was still warm and faintly scorched.

“Hold still,” Viktor muttered.

“I am already holding still,” Tesla replied.

Viktor ignored that and shoved the gemstone into place.

He waited. Nothing.

Then the citrine stone flared, strange vines of light started leaking into the metal around the stone, and Tesla’s engine purred.

“Oh,” DuraSal said. “Yep. That’s working.”

“Warning,” the monotone voice chimed. “System anomaly detected.”

“I am experiencing additional input,” Tesla said.

“I’m in,” DuraSal added. “Give it a second.”

“Your presence is noted,” Tesla replied.

“Cool.”

Princess Lataya scrambled around to the driver’s side door and pressed the horn with a worried look etched into her features.

Then the horn sounded. It was still the fart one.

Viktor rubbed his temples, but the Princess was grinning. Maybe she deserved this one happiness with all that had gone wrong.

“We good to go?” Rose asked.

“I am operational,” Tesla said.

“I’m good,” DuraSal added.

“Your destination is on the right,” the monotone female voice chimed.

Rose smirked. “Looks like we got three in one now.”

The hood snapped shut on its own.

“Get in,” Viktor ordered.

“Don’t have to tell me,” Ornik said, glancing at the walls.

Rose gathered the drying coconuts that she’d again retrieved, and they all piled into Tesla.

“So… where to?” DuraSal asked. “Want to start patching the World Core leaks? Stop the Outworlders from coming in the first place?”

“What’s this?” Ornik asked. “Leaks?”

Viktor waved him off. They’d cover that all again later. “And how would we deal with the Outworlders already here? It is they who killed the king.”

DuraSal was silent. Finally, “I don’t know, but killing them won’t stop new Outworlders from arriving either.”

Viktor let out a huff of frustration. The rock was unfortunately correct.

“Fine. Take us to the closest leak,” Viktor ordered. “And we will continue searching for information on Semiopolis.”

Rose nodded. “The Semi-Truck summoning runes still seem like our best shot at killing them.”

Princess Lataya hit the horn. A fart noise filled the car as they drove back into the river.

A heavy silence weighed on them all. Viktor’s hands clenched tightly on his knees as they moved through the water. Now they had not one, but two seemingly impossible quests.

Finally, the Tesla emerged from the river. A sigh of relief echoed from the backseat. No more saltwater for Ornik to die a gruesome death in.

This area of the river was surrounded by rolling hills, and not far off the bank…

A figure leaned against a strange metal construct. A woman, though her face was covered in a sleek helmet. She was dressed entirely in a strange kind of black leather armor.

Otherworlder.

“Woah, all sorts of vehicles lately. That a motorbike?” DuraSal’s voice said from the speakers.

“It has no wheels,” Tesla’s cheery voice said.

“Hmm. You’re right, still pretty sweet, though,” DuraSal added.

The woman moved away from the metal monster next to her. “Hit her,” Viktor commanded.

Perhaps it would slow her down if nothing else. And who knew? Tesla had informed them it was not as powerful as a mythical semi-truck, but… worth testing.

Tesla raced towards the woman, fast enough it seemed like they might actually do damage. The woman didn’t move, just stood there calmly. Viktor tensed.

Then Tesla began to slow.

“Tesla, what are you doing?” Viktor snapped. “Charge her! Now is not the time to lose your courage!”

The monotone female voice piped up. “Pedestrian detected.”

Damn.

Tesla stopped.

“Move you idiot!” Rose shouted. Cursing filled the backseat.

“Objects in the way,” the monotone female voice echoed.

The woman raised her hands, and Viktor’s heart pounded. They would all die because of the idiot jester.

He threw himself out of the vehicle, blade already coming free as he lunged forward. If he could—

She didn’t even flinch. Damn Outworlder.

And then his sword passed clean through, like she didn’t exist at all.

The woman pulled off her helmet and looked up at him with a bright smile—plump cheeks, wild brown curls springing loose, flattened slightly where the helmet had pressed tighter.

Rose had circled around, one coconut raised.

A giggle floated from somewhere near the strange metal ‘motorbike’.

“Thought your group might be the twitchy type,” the voice said, not coming from the woman in front of him. “But I did need a look at that car. It’s a beauty, isn’t it?”

“What do you want, Outworlder?” Viktor demanded. “Our vehicle?”

Horrible images of being forced to duel this woman to defend the jester filled his mind. If it came to it—

“Oh, I’m not an Outworlder.”

Viktor’s eyes narrowed. “You dress like one.”

The woman flickered. The she suddenly stood beside the metal contraption, leaning against it, staring at Tesla with open fascination.

Viktor’s heart skipped a beat. What sort of power did this woman have?

After a moment, she glanced back at him. “Their clothes are better for riding the hoverbike.”

She walked back toward them as if they were no threat at all.

Viktor raised his sword.

“I’m Professor Ardyn Kettering, by the way,” she said brightly. “But you can just call me Ardyn.”

Rose didn’t lower her coconut. “If you’re not an Outworlder, how do you have their tools?”

Ardyn smiled. “Oh, they can be reasoned with sometimes.”

“They cannot,” Viktor said.

She shrugged. “That’s what I thought at first. Then they kept asking if they could clear pests out of my library.”

Rose blinked. “Pests?”

“There weren’t many after the first time,” Ardyn said. “But they kept coming back anyway.”

“Why?” Rose asked.

“That’s what I wondered,” Ardyn said. “Then they started arriving in groups, all chattering like I’m not even there. Usually about something they call experience.” She shook her head, a bemused expression on her face. “Apparently they can get it in my library, but only if I give my blessing.”

Viktor and Rose exchanged a glance.

“I tested a few things,” Ardyn continued. “At first, I thought they might be collecting some sort of transferable organism. But then, why would they need permission?”

“How did you get the clothes?” Viktor cut in.

Ardyn brightened immediately. “Oh! One of them got angry once. Tried to run me through.”

Viktor’s grip tightened. That wasn’t an answer. This woman was insane.

“The other one stopped him,” she continued. “Started shouting about idiots. Said killing me would ruin the farm.”

Rose frowned. “Farm?”

“Oh, I wondered that too! I even dissected one of the rats from the library, but like I said—”

“Why didn’t they kill you?” Viktor interrupted.

“The experience, of course,” Ardyn said, as if that explained everything. “Once I realized they needed me, I started bargaining. They didn’t like giving up objects much, but I still got some things. Descriptions worked better.”

“Descriptions?” Princess Lataya asked.

Viktor turned. He hadn’t seen her get out.

“Vehicular descriptions,” Ardyn said. “They’re very cooperative on that front.”

“Vehicular…?” the princess said.

“Means of travel.”

The princess’s face fell.

“Oh, don’t look so sad! It’s fascinating, really. I studied conveyance theory even before this Outworlder mess. Did you know that down in Scronlograch they tried enlarging frogs—”

“Frogs?” Rose said.

Ornik, who’d also appeared behind them, looked horrified.

“Yes! Enormous ones. The carriages were enhanced, of course, with levitation. Very promising until the incident. And then Hodobricke—”

“Focus,” Viktor said.

“Ah. Right.” Ardyn waved a hand. “Point is, when the Outworlders arrived, all sorts of marvelous conveyance systems started appearing. Absolute boon to the field.”

Viktor’s grip tightened on his sword. “You’ve been working with the Outworlders?”

Ardyn let out a sharp laugh. “Working with is generous. Most of us don’t have much of a choice.”

She waved a hand dismissively. “They nag constantly. I had to come up with a whole permission system just to get anything done, and my library is always infested. They started bringing in their own pests! You wouldn’t believe—”

“If you aren’t an Outworlder, how did you disappear before?” Viktor cut in.

“Oh, that?” she said. “Projection magic. Comes in handy in my studies.”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small stone. “Got the runes done ages ago. Mostly use it for demonstrations.”

She tossed the stone onto the ground.

Something blinked into existence. It looked like Tesla, but wrong. Bright red. Half-formed. The top sheared clean off, like someone had stopped building it halfway through.

A voice rumbled from Tesla. DuraSal. “Oh, I always wanted a red convertible.” Then a strange sigh-like sound. “Guess I’ll never really have one now.”

Ardyn blinked, then lit up, practically bouncing as she rushed forward. “Oh, your vehicle talks! Were you always like this, or is it a leak effect from the World Core?” she asked, already pulling out a small square book and a strange writing utensil.

Viktor let her pass. She seemed harmless enough.

He focused on the strange, malformed Tesla in front of him, examining the illusion as Ardyn peppered Tesla and DuraSal with questions.

If she could make this…

Could she make a semi-truck?

He waved a hand through the image. It vanished at the wrist. He stepped forward. His legs disappeared into the seats.

Not real, but convincing.

If they could scare the Outworlders, just for now, until they reached Semiopolis—

That might be enough.

He turned back.

Ardyn was still talking. “—three in one body. Oh, and these handles are quite different. I’ve had a few descriptions of Teslas, you know, and—”

“Professor!” Viktor interrupted. It seemed to fit her better than Ardyn.

She turned immediately. “Yes?”

He gestured to the red illusion. “Can you make more of these?”

“Of course.”

“A semi-truck.”

She flinched, then tapped a finger against her leg. “I did once,” she said. “Made someone quite upset.”

She tilted her head. “Are you sure you don’t want a pickup truck? Or Tesla has a cousin. A very strange one. The cybertruck.” She began rummaging in her pouch. “I think I have a display—”

“No,” Viktor said. “Only a semi-truck.”

Rose stepped up beside him, a grin tugging at her lips. “A trick for the Outworlders.”

“So, can you do it?” Viktor pressed.

Ardyn shifted uncomfortably. “I can guess at what you are trying to do, but—”

“We need a way to slay them,” Viktor said sharply. “The king is dead.”

Ardyn flinched again. “My projections won’t kill them,” she said quickly. “Perhaps if—” She stopped herself. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Princess Lataya stepped forward. “I order you to make Tesla into a semi-truck.”

Ardyn jumped. “But, Your Highness—”

“Now!” the princess said.

Ardyn took a quick step back, but they had her surrounded now. She knew it. He could see it in the way her eyes flicked between them. “Fine,” she said with a long breath. “Give me a moment.”

Rose shifted, moving to block the bike. With an annoyed huff, Ardyn wandered over to the riverbank, plucking up stones and muttering over them. The princess followed immediately, asking if she could help find the perfect rock for Tesla’s transformation, and Ornik drifted after them.

“She’s hiding something,” Rose said quietly. “About the semi-trucks. She either knows where Semiopolis is… or she knows another way to get one.”

Viktor nodded.

“Do you not remember what I said about the World Core leaks?” DuraSal cut in.

They both glared at the car.

“And even if you lead us to them, and we plug these leaks,” Rose said tightly, “how do you expect us to deal with the Outworlders already here?”

“I’m just saying we shouldn’t trust her,” DuraSal said.

Viktor raised an eyebrow. “And we should trust you? A strange Outworlder gemstone?”

“Hey! I’m powering your Tesla here. A little respect wouldn’t kill you.”

Viktor grimaced. He would gladly slay both the Tesla and the gem if it were possible.

Finally, the stone gathering group returned.

“Are you sure you don’t want something else?” Ardyn prodded again. “I have so many excellent vehicles in my collection.”

She tossed a handful of stones into the air. They struck the ground, and the world filled with machines.

Sleek, low things of polished metal. Boxy wagons. Towering frames of ladders and cylinders. Strange, angular constructs that looked more like weapons than transport.

“Woah! Is that a Bugatti?” DuraSal blared from Tesla’s speakers. “And a firetruck!?”

Princess Lataya darted through them, giggling as she disappeared inside.

One enormous red vehicle bristling with ladders loomed nearby. Almost threatening.

But not a killer of Outworlders. Not what he needed. Even Tesla itself had been slain by the mythical creature that he was seeking.

Viktor shook his head. “It must be a semi-truck.”

He held out his hand.

Ardyn hesitated, then pressed a single stone into his palm. It pulsed faintly. “Careful with that,” she muttered, already moving to gather the others.

Viktor looked down at it. The glow had faded. Just a simple, unremarkable river stone.

Rose leaned in beside him. “Well?” she said. “What are you waiting for?”

Viktor tossed the stone to the ground several paces away.

It struck the ground, and something massive flickered into existence. Taller than two men. Long. Heavy looking. Viktor moved to the side to examine it. It was trailed by a box on wheels that stretched as long as a market.

“Who the hell told you to make it a Walmart truck?!” DuraSal yelled.

“I collect my information from varied sources,” Ardyn muttered. “Those with talent—or images—get longer stays in my farm.”

Viktor ignored them. It was perfect. Terrifying, and large enough to swallow Tesla whole.

They had their threat.

***

Hours later, Tesla pulled up on a hill overlooking the first of the locations that DuraSal promised contained a world core leak. The hover bike pulled up next to them.

Ornik sat in the back with Ardyn’s pouch of stones. They’d demanded it until they could confirm the semi-truck projection stone would continue to work.

And they needed whatever information Ardyn had about obtaining a real semi-truck.

They piled out of Tesla to survey the scene. Rose and Ornik went off to find an appropriate test subject, while Viktor stayed with the Princess and Ardyn.

“You know where Semiopolis is,” he said quietly. Princess Lataya let out a giggling laugh as the jester made some joke. He continued to stare at Ardyn.

She shifted uncomfortably. “I’m a scholar. I know a lot of things.”

“You study vehicles.”

“Yes,” she said, a touch sharper now. “And I think the city might be mythical.”

Viktor’s hand tightened on his sword. “Don’t lie.”

“I’m not.”

“You know we need to purge the Outworlders.”

She stiffened. “Do I?”

Viktor drew his sword. “I won’t lose this world because you’re withholding information.”

Ardyn froze. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

She studied him for a long moment. Not afraid, calculating. “If I tell you what I know,” she said slowly, “will you let me keep Tesla’s remains if it dies?”

Viktor blinked. “What?”

“Or let me come with you,” she added quickly. “This is an incredible opportunity. A real Outworld vehicle, not just descriptions!”

Viktor glared. “Fine,” he said sharply. He lowered his sword. “If your information proves useful… we will consider it.”

Ardyn nodded once. “There are maps to Semiopolis,” she said. “But they’re like maps to the River of Eternal Youth. Half myth.”

Viktor scowled. “That earns you nothing.”

Ardyn held up a finger. “But there are runes.”

Viktor raised his eyebrow.

“Runes that can manipulate reality,” she said. “Turn projections into something real.” A smile twitched at her lips. “I don’t have the resources, but if you could get your hands on those…”

Viktor’s grip tightened around the stone in his pocket. Then they wouldn’t need an illusion. They would have a weapon.

An Outworlder slayer. One that could appear and vanish without a trace, becoming just an illusion again.

Viktor sat on the hill, monitoring Ardyn, but letting her do as she wished. Mostly, she sat scribbling in her little book and muttering. Princess Lataya did a little pirouette and giggled again at one of Tesla’s stupid jokes as she danced in front of the car.

The fart horn sounded again.

Viktor sighed.

At last, Rose crested the hill, grinning. “Got one.”

***

Their test subject was out in a field, waving a sword around like an idiot. He clearly didn’t know how to use that thing at all.

Ardyn watched the approach critically. “If you overuse it, they’ll realize it’s an illusion,” she said. “And it’s movement won’t push anything out of the way.”

Rose smirked. “This one doesn’t look like he’ll notice.”

Ornik and Ardyn stayed at the edge of the woods with the princess, while Viktor and Rose moved out to conduct their little experiment.

Rose sat in the driver’s side, Viktor took the passenger seat, and they started towards the Outworlder.

“I still think this is a bad idea,” DuraSal complained.

“We have to test it,” Rose said with a wide grin.

“Destination straight ahead,” the monotone female voice intoned.

Viktor rolled the stone in his fingers, and let it fall to the floor.

The illusion tore into existence, creating a strange haze around them, like looking out at the world through a pane of gold tinted glass.

Fortunately, Rose didn’t really need to steer. Tesla continued to surge forward.

DuraSal muttered something.

“That’s impolite,” Tesla said.

Viktor ignored it because in front of them…

The Outworlder came into view. He turned, still swinging the sword with wild strokes.

Then he froze.

They bore down on him. Like Ardyn had warned, the grass didn’t move from in front of the illusion. It just swallowed it, but still…

The Outworlder stumbled back. Then he turned—

And ran.

Rose whooped. Viktor didn’t stop the smile that crept across his face.

They chased him across the field, not closing the distance, just keeping the pressure on.

The Outworlder veered hard, desperate to get to the treeline.

Then he vanished into the woods, crashing through brush without looking back.

Tesla stopped at the trees, and they turned around.

Viktor picked the stone off the ground. The illusion flickered away.

He let out a long breath, his shoulders relaxing slightly.

They hadn’t won, not even close, but seeing an Outworlder run like that…

Damn. It felt good.