Chapter 25: A lot could go wrong

Chapter 25 - A lot could go wrong

Viktor ran a gauntletted hand through his hair as the cacophony from the bizarre lute-like instrument the outworlder had given Princess Lataya faded away into the forest. Bloody hell he hated outworlders, they either destroyed or corrupted everything they touched.

Still, maybe there was some use for the instrument. “May I?” he asked Princess Lataya. She hesitated a moment, then handed the instrument over. What had the crackpot called it? A guitar? His axe?

Viktor held the long skinny end with two hands and hefted it. Yes, it had some weight to it, a few pounds. Nothing overly impressive, but it would do. He gave it a test swing. This would do indeed. It would serve as a suitable weapon for The Princess if needed.

The rest of their group watched with expressions ranging from curious, to bored, to spaced out. He handed the guitar back to Princess Lataya and pointed to the heavy, solid wooden side of it. “Hit outworlders with that end.”

Who knew, maybe it’d turn out to be another powerful artifact for her to use. She seemed to collect favour from everyone these days, what with Space Supreme gifting her powerful treasures before he buggered off.

“Alright,” Viktor said, addressing the group, “we need to work out what the hell we’re doing now. I feel like we’ve been ripped back and forth between random objectives ever since the cursed outworlders invaded.”

There were nods of agreement amongst the group as Viktor continued. “I know it seems like our personalities are changing daily, and this makes it hard to focus while dark magics mess with us. I can only assume it’s an effect of the outworlder invasion. The only hope we have of regaining our sanity is to end this invasion—for good.”

“How, pray tell,” Mrs. Kim said, her eyes narrowed in a scowl, “do you propose to do that?”

Viktor studied her. He couldn’t remember how she even got back here. He thought they’d left them before going to the Aquabarrow Cave. This was just another example of the outworlder mind-screwing going on.

“We need to travel to their planet, Earth, I believe they called it. Cut the rot out at the root.”

“I heard there were billions of them,” Princess Lataya whispered, “how can we fight that?”

Viktor ran his hand through his hair again. “We don’t need to kill them all. I believe we need to eliminate these semi-trucks so they stop Isekai’ng earthlings here.”

“Next question,” Mrs. Kim said. “How do you plan to transport us to another world?”

A slow smile crept onto Viktor’s face as he eyed the woman. “Feel like meeting the Space Supreme?”

Mrs. Kim cocked her head. “Who?”

Princess Lataya said, “How’s he going to help?”

“You have the Revival Blood Crystal containing his blood still, yes?” Viktor asked.

“Yes.”

“I’m sure we were given a detailed explanation of what it did and how it works,” Viktor said, “but I’ve forgotten and I believe now that you can use it, as his disciple, to summon him. Then, using the instrument the nutjob left behind as a dimensional anchor, he can send us to this ‘Earth’ place.”

“I don’t think Uncle Fang will like me using the crystal that way…” Princess Lataya said.

Viktor waved a hand. “Nonsense. He was enamoured by you. What could possibly go wrong?”

***

Well, it turned out a lot could go wrong.

For starters, when they tried to use the Revival Blood Crystal, it didn’t summon Space Supreme to them, it took them to Space Supreme. And by them, it only took Viktor and Princess Lataya.

The second problem was that the Space Supreme was, at the time, floating in the void of space.

That would have been okay if he was paying attention. But he wasn’t even facing them when they appeared. And, well, in space, no one can hear you scream.

Their death was pretty brutal. Fortunately they blacked out in about 15 seconds and didn’t experience the worst of their bodily fluids boiling.

***

The advantage of dealing with the Space Supreme, however, was that life was something he was very good at restoring.

After a few minutes he did notice he had visitors. By this point even he in all his power could barely recognise them.

A bit of screwing around with the space-time-continuum had the two disfigured figures back in their normal figury selves and the three of them seated in room manifested out of pure thought.

***

Viktor drew a long, deep breath. Alright, he could breathe, that was a good start. He slowly opened his stiff fingers that had gripped the chair arms in a death grip. He looked around. Princess Lataya sat to his right, looking as pale and terrified as he felt. Across from them, the Old Lunatic lounged in an overstuffed armchair similar to their own.

The vaguest feeling of terror, the inability to breathe or make a sound, and his blood bubbling in his veins tickled the edges of Viktor’s subconsciousness, lingering memories of death that he couldn’t fully place.

Last thing he clearly remembered was everyone standing in a circle in the nasty forest, preparing to summon the Space Supreme.

Now it was just him and Princess Lataya back in space it seemed. Judging by the view outside the 360 degree transparent dome they sat beneath.

At least the floor was a solid white. He didn’t know how he’d enjoy staring down into nothing.

“What’re you two playing at?” Space Supreme asked, his voice a deep bass. “That Blood Crystal is no toy. You could have gotten yourselves killed. Well, you could have gotten yourselves permanently killed.”

Viktor swallowed and licked his dry lips. “We need to go to Earth. I believe it’s the only way we can put an end to this Isekai’ng nonsense and save our world.”

The Space Supreme cocked an eyebrow. “Oh really. How do you figure that?”

Viktor glanced at Princess Lataya, who gave him a slight smile. He turned back to the Space Supreme. “Unless we can stop these Outworlders from Isekai’ng, they’ll continue to invade our world. As semi-trucks are the only things that they seem to have no defence against, and they appear to come from Earth, I propose we go there, and seek an alliance with these semi-trucks.”

The Space Supreme chuckled. “Semi-trucks are inanimate objects.”

Viktor deflated. “Oh. I thought… like Tesla, they were thinking machines.”

“Hmm. I suppose they do have some like that on Earth. Hold on…” The Space Supreme’s eyes glazed over.

“Do you think he’ll help us?” Princess Lataya whispered.

“I do not know. But we can only hope.”

The Space Supreme’s eyes refocused. “Huh. Well wudaya know, turns out they do have sentient AI semi-trucks on Earth now. So sure, you might be able to get them to help. Problem for you two is, they’re already hunting humans on Earth, they’re what’s sending them to your world.”

“So…” Viktor said slowly, “we need to try to get them to stop attacking humans there? How do we do that?”

The Space Supreme shrugged. “Not really my problem. So long as neither of you blow up any worlds, it’s up to you to solve your interdimensional disputes.”

Princess Lataya bit her quivering lip, her eyes wide and puppy-dog like. “Please, Uncle Fang. We really need your help.”

“Oh come off it! That’s just…” the Space Supreme broke off with a growl, then sagged in his chair. “Fine. But only because you asked so nicely! AndbecauseyoucalledmeUncleFangandIlovethat.”

Princess Lataya launched out of her chair and across the space between them in a heartbeat, wrapping the Space Supreme in a giant hug. “Oh thank you, Uncle Fang! You’re the best.”

He chuckled, and untangled himself. “Okay, okay. You’re gonna ruin my image as a stoic and aloof master of the universe.” The look he gave Viktor conveyed decades of unimaginable torture if he breathed one word of this encounter.

Viktor tried to swallow, his mouth bone dry. All he could do was nod as he let out a small whimper.

“Right!” The Space Supreme stood. “To business! Let’s get you two to Earth.” He snapped his fingers.

The chairs vanished. The dome vanished. Space vanished.

There was a small pop as they reappeared elsewhere. Viktor, the only one who’d still been sitting, fell on his arse in red dirt.

The Space Supreme and Princess Lataya stood nearby, backlit by a setting sun. As far as the eye could see, red dirt stretched. The occasional plant fought for life in the barren place. A sign post that reminded Viktor of Mrs. Kim’s Stop Sign was planted in the dirt beside what looked like a wide dirt road. It was just larger and rectangle, though still red.

Whatever was written on it was in a language unfamiliar to Viktor. He pointed to it. “What does that say?”

“Hmm?” The Space Supreme said, looking where Viktor pointed. “Oh, that. That’s English. It’s… a messed up language. If language was a person, English would be a backalley thug who beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare words. Here…” he snapped his fingers.

Viktor’s brain tingled. Which was not a sensation he was familiar with, or enjoyed. The words on the sign swam and then snapped into focus, now readable. It said, “WARNING NEXT FUEL 380”

“What does it mean?” Viktor asked.

“Means it’s a bloody long drive before you can top up.”

Viktor blinked a few times.

“Oh yeah, no cars with internal combustion engines on your world. Cars—and trucks—here need fuel to run, an oil from the ground. So there are ‘servos’ here that supply that to cars. But out here? There ain’t none for a looong way.”

“Where is here?” Princess Lataya asked.

“Earth. But specifically, Australia. Northern Territory I believe.”

Viktor slowed turned, surveying the land. Along the road in the distance, a cloud billowed. The ground beneath Viktor’s feet also vibrated ever so slightly.

“Why bring us to the middle of nowhere? Is this where the semi-trucks live?”

“Oh, semi-trucks no. Something far better. Out here are the trucks semi-trucks grow up into.”

The vibration in the ground grew more intense as the cloud also appeared to grow.

Viktor felt pressure on his armoured arm and he looked down to see the Space Supreme’s hand there, guiding him back off the dirt road.

Less than a minute later, an absolutely enormous truck that looked similar to the semi-truck they’d summoned, rumbled into view amidst the cloud of dirt.

It thundered along at impossible speeds, bright lights shining from the front.

What made it different to the semi-truck they’d summoned the illusion of briefly, was the sheer length of it. It must have been over 150 feet long!

As it drove, it sucked in dirt from the road, sending it swirling in a cloud into the sky.

It thundered past the three of them, sending Viktor staggering forward, nearly ripped off his feet by the draft of wind being sucked into the beast.

The Space Supreme caught his arm and held him steady. The man looked completely unfazed by the passing of the truck, not even a hair on his head out of place.

“That,” he said, his voice raised over the receding truck, “is called a road-train. Other countries on Earth have them, but none quite this large. If you follow this road in the direction the truck went, eventually you will find the home of the road-trains. They have evolved into a sapient race here in Australia, you will need their alliance to turn the semi-trucks from their mission of ridding Earth of humans. Good luck.”

Viktor looked over his shoulder to the Space Supreme to ask a question, only to find the man gone. Viktor and Princess Lataya stood alone on the side of a red road in the growing dusk.

Somewhere in the distance, a dog howled, its cry taken up by several others.

“Stay close,” Viktor said to Princess Lataya, “and let’s go practice some diplomacy on sapient trucks.”