66_Road Ramble

"Woow, I can’t believe you dealt with Goldie and his two goons so easily," Zaggy said, admiring the power of his traveling companions.

"Oh yeah, we are pretty awesome like that," Slippy said with pride, assuming a triumphant pose atop the dragon's snout.

"Oh are we now? Last time I checked, you were cowering in fear under a cart with mule dung," Herman retorted.

"I wasn’t cowering!" The slip shrieked in indignation, waving his hands madly as he lost his balance and almost fell off the snout of the dragon.

"I was strategically hiding while my illusions distracted the arrogant lizards," He finally said after he lifted himself back up atop Zaggy’s nose.

"Ah well, I guess those fake pigeons of yours did distract them for a bit," Herman admitted.

"Exactly! Just to give you enough time for you to smack the golden dragon with that shark of yours. And that is why we are an awesome team!" The slip declared with finality.

"Kakhem, not to break your parade or anything, but me and Topo were also there, plus we had to save you from the two red dragons after they found you out trembling in fear under the dung cart," Staple added.

"Ah, details… The important thing is we won," Slippy again declared, pointedly avoiding acknowledging his own failings.

"Hmm… I do wonder if winning was worth it… I can’t believe that my own brother Mopo banished us from the city…" Topo lamented.

"Ah it’s just for a month. Besides we did sort of destroy the stable and the surrounding area during the fight," Staple reasoned.

"It is the principle of the thing," Topo argued.

"I agree with Topo, It is not like it is our fault the dragons kept shooting fire at us all the time and the stables are made of wood… We did save the mules, but apparently that didn't alleviate our sentence… I bet Mopo was just looking for an excuse to banish me and Slippy. You guys were just caught in the way," Herman said.

"Whatever, we weren't planning on going back anytime soon anyway, plus we couldn't just stand and watch while our mule was being bullied," Staple said.

"So, um, you guys don't mind that I am not a mule?" Zaggy hesitantly asked.

"Oh we always knew you were a dragon," Staple said, a conspiratorial wink directed towards Topo.

"You what!? Then why did you act as if…. You know what, never mind, forget I asked…" Topo said, shaking his head and refusing to play along with whatever game his wife was playing.

"But if you knew why didn't you say anything? I thought all earthlings hated dragons," The dragon said.

"Oh we don't hate them, they are our allies and practically part of the town. I even have a few friend dragons," Topo said.

"B,but I thought…

"Well the thing with dragons and especially the younger ones, is that they have huge egos, they are very prideful creatures and love to bask in the adoration of others. If you give them an inch they will take a mile and let the fame and pride get to their heads. It has happened before and the results weren't great."

"Plus after hundreds of years of overexposure in the media, dragons have sort of become old news."

"But you seemed different, you didn't try to amaze us with fancy poses or your draconian might, or any of the other boring flashy tropes the other ones tried. You seemed different, content to do your own thing and not assaulting us for our attention. Or at least that is what impression I got. You just seemed like a cool guy, plus you were also the only thing in the stables capable of carrying all our luggage," Staple explained.

"I, um… thanks, I guess?" Zaggy responded after the complicated reasoning of the assassin bot. He wasn't precisely sure why things happened the way they did, but he was glad for it nonetheless.

"By the way, what were you doing in the stables in the first place? And what is the deal with the mule ears?" Herman asked, pointing towards the plush mule ears the dragon still wore over his head.

"Oh these, I researched that pack mules had a chance of getting a legendary carry skill on their System initiation day. So I figured to try my luck and see if the system can offer me one too.”

“The plush ears are just a little bonus, maybe the System will recognize me as a mule if I wear them. They are exquisite quality tailoring item, I sewed them myself. Last month I was a tailor and learned as much as I could in the hopes of getting offered a legendary tailor skill too.”

"I, um, I knew the other dragons wanted to snatch a position in your party, but I didn't even bother doing that. I know that being in an adventuring party raises your chances of better skills and raises your prestige, but I figured you would never pick such an ordinary dragon as myself," Zaggy said.

"First of all, do not underestimate yourself so much. You have an inquisitive mind and good manners. Something a lot of those hatchlings seemed to lack.

"And second, Zaggy, you have no idea how much I envy you… I had been intending on doing exactly what you are attempting to do. I did my research and wanted to explore all the various skills and hidden classes Generica had to offer. All that is a far away dream now, though I will be willing to share my notes on the different skill combinations and my theories on acquiring some secret skills," Herman concluded, patting the back of the dragon good-naturedly.

"Really?! I'd love that Herman sir!" Zaggy exclaimed, his tail waving left and right with excitement.

"Hahah, sure why not, I always like to see curious younglings eager to explore the world around them."

And with that, the party continued on their way towards Marun valley, each one absorbed in conversing with one another, completely unsuspecting of what lay ahead.

___

Along the way the party's journey went quite peaceful, the group walked calmly along the well-maintained road out of the city and enjoyed the beautiful nature around them. Everyone knew this was just a digital representation, but Martha and her team had outdone themselves with recreating the visage of nature.

Not that the party were experts on nature to begin with. The two mechanoids knew only the radioactive nanoid-infested wastelands of Earth. Slippy had, and was still consuming vast quantities of data on the background, and while he could recite with perfect accuracy every known botanical text in existence, he himself had very little idea of real nature. He did enjoy farming in his soul space, but all of it was digital representation as well.

Zaggy kept talking about some incomprehensible alien flora, of reddish viney plants that could eat unsuspecting hatchlings, so he wasn't a good source of Earth greenery as well.

And that naturally left Herman. The only member of their party that had actually seen what Earth nature was like with his own eyes.

"All I am saying is that we can't know if these trees are real or not," Herman said, then paused and grimaced.

"Well, of course they aren't real, I mean they are digital representation of trees, but are they the same trees as the ones that used to exist before the dark ages."

"Look at this branch, the waves on that leaf are pointing backwards. These can't be the same trees as back on Earth," the man passionately argued.

"Herman, what the hell are you babbling about? Why are you asking us? You are the only one here who has seen a tree in real life," Staple said, unsure of what the human was talking about.

"Well… it has been more than a century since then, and I… I don't remember all the details…" Herman replied sheepishly.

"I am just not sure if this tree is the same as the ones back on Earth, or it is just some AI-generated approximation of one…"

"Does it matter?" Topo asked, tilting his head to look down at the branch the human was holding.

"Does it matter!? Of course it matters! There should be some universal constant of how things should look like. Just look at this branch. Now it has wavy patterns in its leaves, then some AI is going to look at it and think all trees have these, then it will create a new tree with wavy leaves and purple horns, then another AI is going to take that and add its own twist on things. And in no time at all people won't even know what trees are supposed to look like."

"I think you are overexaggerating, I am sure the AIs have everything under control," Staple said, kicking a rock off the path, it disappearing inside a bush at the side of the road.

"Hmm, you have a point, Herman, I think I will try growing blue radishes next in my garden. Changing the code color should be trivial," Slippy, the young and impressionable AI said from atop the pack dragon's snout.

"U u, I can show you some of the plants from my homeworld. The yellow grupcha nuts and kluncha melons are my favorites! Maybe you can recreate them in your garden?"

"Radishes are RED, not BLUE!" Herman cried out. "Also, Earth has enough problems with nature perseverance, than to dilute it with more funky plants…"

"See, Staple, see what the younger generation has stooped to," Herman said, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Slippy, I have to introduce you to my friend Bertha. She is the greatest botanist in the Solar System. She will teach you the "proper" way of plants and nature."

"Please promise me you won't tinker with plants' genetic code," the human declared, then pleaded with his young charge.

"Umm… Sure?" Slippy responded uncertainly, looking at the old human and wondering if his old age was indeed taking a toll on his psyche.

"Herman, stop weirding us out. There is no plant conspiracy in Generica. Sometimes a tree is just a tree," Staple said, trying to put an end to whatever this conversation was.

Swoosh… Boom!

The party paused their trek and silently watched a flaming, airborne tree whoosh over their heads before crashing behind them.

Their attention was then drawn to the panicked shouts of people fleeing toward them from further down the road.

As the people neared, Herman noticed all of them were internet refugees. None of them paid much attention to their party, instead fleeing past them in a rush to avoid the danger behind them.

"Hey, hey, what's happening? What are you running from?" Herman shouted, trying to figure out what the deal was.

While Herman was trying and failing to get the attention of the fleeing humans all around them, Topo sensed someone reaching for his coin pouch.

The pouch strings got expertly cut and the valuable object swiftly pocketed away.

Just when the thief thought he had gotten away with it and effortlessly blended in the crowd, he sensed a firm metal hand on the back of his neck.

"Gaaahh!" The thief shouted in panic as Topo lifted the human in the air, standing stoically still and waiting for the river of people to pass them by, all the while his catch wriggled in his arm and tried to escape.

…

"And you called me silly for buying the decoy pouch. To this date I have caught at least 23 people trying to steal it," Topo said with pride as he placed his prized possession near his belt, the item’s strings magically reknitting themselves back together.

"Yes yes, I was wrong, you were right. And you have not missed reminding me that for each one of those 23 thieves," Staple replied, rolling her eyes.

Topo just smiled at his small victory, then lowered the human down, though still holding him firmly.

"Let me go, let me go! I didn't do nothing!" The former internet resident said, still struggling to free himself.

"Alright here is the deal, tell us what are you all running from and I will let you go," Topo said.

The thief immediately flinched as the sounds of explosions and more flying trees made themselves known in the distance. He fidgeted a bit more, but finally gave up and defeatedly slumped down.

As the internet refugees departed the scene, the party grouped up around the thief, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"It’s two twin mage sisters, they seem to have it in for each other and are demolishing the landscape and everyone around them. If you know what is good for you, you will stay far away too," The thief quickly said. His eyes darting back at the road, where the sounds of battle seemed to intensify.

"Do you think?" Staple whispered to her husband.

Understanding her meaning, Topo barked at the human. "Did they have metal raven skull helmets?"

Boom! Yet another explosion sounded, the shockwave pushing dust and dirt in the air.

"Yes, yes they did, let me go now, please, I told you everything you asked," The thief pleaded, clawing ineffectually at Topo’s metal arm.

Topo released his clasp and the human fled away like a startled rabbit.

"Everyone, get ready for battle," Topo declared, Staple at his side, brandishing her daggers.

"It seems we found Polya and her doppelganger."