Chapter 2

An Old-School RPG Twist: Suppose a Starter Dungeon Became a Key Location in the Back Half of the Game

A few days after panic broke out in the dungeon…

The military still had their hands full dealing with the unprecedented transformation of a low-level chamber into one filled with dragons.

They’d built fences around the space itself, stationed guards just in case any monsters tried to leave, set patrols to keep a constant watch on the perimeter, visited all neighboring areas to spread the word…

They were so busy that the cadets at Lloyd’s school found themselves with some unexpected time off.

On one of these free afternoons, Micona Zol was wandering the East Side.

The space between her brows had a permanent crease.

She was still fuming about her abject failure to take Lloyd Belladonna down a peg.

He’d been so sure of himself as he’d reached out a hand to her. According to Micona, it was an obvious insult, though her ego was making her paranoid. It was quite common at her age, really; any time things weren’t going well, she saw everything in the worst possible light.

There was a minor wound on her arm, one suffered fighting the dragon. She’d received basic treatment, but it still hurt, making her wince every now and then.

“I’d better…get some medicine,” she muttered.

This was the reason she needed to visit a shop on the East Side—one run by Marie the Witch.

I haven’t stopped by in three or four months? You avoid a place for a bit, and it starts to feel like it’s been forever.

The shop stood halfway up a gentle slope. Used potion pots lined the front, and an aged wooden sign advertised medicines sold within. Micona looked like she was visiting a familiar train station near a school she’d graduated from a few years back.

A twinge of pain pushed her forward into the store. The door opened stiffly, and inside…was the same old place with the same old Marie, sipping coffee while reading an old book.

“Um,” Micona began.

The shopkeeper’s gaze drifted slowly upward, but when she saw the visitor, she brightened up immediately.

“Oh, Micona! It’s been ages!”

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

Marie pulled a chair out for the young woman, and Micona thanked her for it and sat down, feeling somewhat sheepish.

“It really has been a while—how long do you think?”

“I believe it’s been nearly four months.”

“That long? You used to come by every week—almost every day. No longer getting injured?”

“Basically, yeah.”

“Good! I remember the first time you came here. They’d worked you so hard, you were covered in scratches, and you’d come looking for better medicine.”

“I…haven’t forgotten.”

“So if you’re here, does that mean you got hurt again? Lemme take a look.” The older woman leaned forward, and the table caught the weight of her chest. She peered into Micona’s face.

She slowly held out her injured arm. Marie unraveled the bandage, looking closely at the wound.

“Oof, there’s pus! You’ll be needing disinfectant and something extra for that.”

In only a moment, the shopkeeper had retrieved the medicine and was gently applying it to the wound.

“Mm!” Micona winced. It stung a bit.

Marie grinned. “Come now. You can handle that! You’re a soldier now!”

“…Yeah.”

Micona kept her eyes on her lap, letting Marie work. She bit her lip and was doing her best not to interfere.

A few minutes later, a new bandage was tied securely around Micona’s arm—but even with the pain gone, there was sweat on Micona’s brow, and her breathing was heavy.

Paying this no attention, Marie gave her freshly wrapped arm a pat and smiled.

“You’re all good now. Why don’t you rest here a bit? We’ve got some catching up to do! I’ll put the kettle on.”

“…I wish I could stay forever.”

“Mm? What did you say?”

“N-nothing! My chest just feels tight…”

“Is it?” Marie put a hand on her own forehead and the other on Micona’s. “Mm, your temperature is a little high. Want something for the fever?”

Micona let out a silent squeak, her breathing growing even more shallow…

Let’s take a peek inside her mind.

Marie! Marie! Stay like that! Don’t take your hand off my forehead! Someone bring us some glue! May our foreheads stay linked forever and our lips locked, breaths mingling!

Another pervert in the mix.

Those little grunts of pain sounded awfully like lustful moans. Was it on purpose?

Please pick up on the pain in my heart!

Clearly, Micona needed a lot more disinfectant. Possibly some sedatives. Maybe the kind for horses…

“You like your coffee black, right? Take this fever medicine with hot water.”

Oh… Once someone remembers how you take your coffee, you’re basically a couple. Only thing left is to get married!

Micona stared down at the black surface of the coffee, her eyes unfocused.

Marie started getting worried. “…Are you sure (you don’t want any cream or sugar)?”

“I’m sure (that I want to marry you)!”

Marie had no idea her proposal had just been accepted.

“Good! It’s been so long I was worried your taste (in coffee) had changed!”

“No! Never! Still madly in love! Always will be!”

“…G-good, I’ll…use the good beans next time.”

Still convinced they were talking about coffee, Marie decided Micona must’ve just been excited to see her. She took another sip.

Micona followed her lead.

“Oh, right! We should have something sweet lying around—let me check.”

When Marie put her cup down and turned her back, Micona spied her chance.

“Godspeed,” she whispered.

Having cast that buff on herself, she quickly switched her mug with Marie’s.

Why? Well, because swapping used coffee cups led directly to indirect kisses.

Hands trembling, Micona raised the new mug to her lips, lovingly. It was black, but to Micona’s tongue, it tasted sweet. Not literally… Just, erm, emotionally?

This is why I went through all that training and mastered the Godspeed spell… I had a knack for it, but it wasn’t easy.

Such a misuse of talent. But hey, if kids can learn to work the computer to watch porn or play X-rated games and senior citizens can get their portable DVD players to play rental porn videos, what’s the difference?

Truth was, Micona didn’t actually like her coffee black. She was just suffering through it because it allowed her to steal some kisses. Lust conquers flavor—call it personal growth.

Blissfully unaware, Marie located some cookies on a nearby shelf and put them on the table between them. They had peanuts baked in.

“Afraid that’s all we have,” Marie said and took a sip of her new coffee.

“…Ahn.” Gulp. Micona pumped a fist, moaning.

Marie gave her an odd look. “Um, something wrong?”

Oblivious to her concerns, Micona’s mind was flooded with dopamine. Her entire body was twitching.

Exchanging indirect kisses? That’s basically using tongue! Congrats! Your Indirect Kiss has evolved into a French Kiss!

Please don’t treat this like a monster-collecting game.

“Uh, sorry… Oh?” Micona suddenly made a show of looking out the window.

“Mm? Oh, the cat? It’s taken up residence nearby.”

“Godspeed!” Micon muttered.

She’d stacked another layer of buff on herself, and in the instant Marie’s eyes were on the window, she took a cookie and tangled the cookie in Marie’s hair at an indiscernible speed.

“Cats are so cute… Ah!”

“Mm? What now…? Yikes?!”

Micona had leaned over the table, her face almost touching Marie’s.

She could feel Marie’s breath on her as she reached for her head.

“Er, uh…wh-what?”

Micona whispered in her ear. “There’s a cookie in your hair.”

“Why would there be…? There actually is?!”

“Eh-heh-heh, you can be a bit of a ditz sometimes, Marie.”

Did getting cookies in your hair fall under the domain of ditz? Marie wondered. While she wasn’t looking, Micona pumped her fist again.

Success! I’ve dreamed about suddenly moving in close enough to feel her breath on me! And I pulled it off so naturally! The cookie in the hair was the perfect excuse! Thank you, Godspeed! My existence has been justified!

Naturally wasn’t really the word, and this string of inexplicable events was tugging at Marie’s memory.

“Hmm, that’s weird… Is this déjà vu? Who are you reminding me of?”

Probably either Selen the stalker or her master, Alka. Their romantic interests might be different, but the complete lack of self-control was definitely in the same wheelhouse.

“Sorry I’m so out of it,” Micona said, coming back down to earth.

“You must be worn out. Your injury keeping you up?”

“I’m definitely not getting any sleep tonight.”

This conversation wasn’t exactly adding up.

“You do seem tired,” Marie noted, then forcibly changed the topic. “So I heard something awful happened in the dungeon? Is that why you aren’t in school?”

“Yeah, that’s right… I’m impressed you know. Well, you are an information broker.”

Marie brushed the compliment off. “News does tend to trickle down, but this time, I heard it direct from the source.”

“The source?”

“Yes, my roommate—Lloyd.”

“………Ngh!” Instantly, Micona was scowling.

Lloyd chose that exact moment to return from his shopping.

“I’m back! I think I got everythi—Oh, you’re…!”

Micona turned toward him, not even trying to hide her hostility, wearing her emotions on her sleeve.

I forgot…or I wanted to! This man! The man who robbed me of my joy!

The reason she had stopped coming to Marie’s shop was…

“Um, Micona, right?”

…because Lloyd had started living here. Micona had swung by at least once a week—and seeing how happy he made Marie was too much for her to bear.

He’d stolen her rightful place. Truthfully, Marie just thought Micona was a friendly customer, but in Micona’s mind… Well, the more she thought about it, the more she despised Lloyd for it.

That was why she’d rounded up her classmates and focused their frustrations, using the attention Lloyd had gathered as an excuse to turn him into a common enemy.

Officially, it’d all been to regain their respect as second-year students—but it was actually just a personal one-sided vendetta against Lloyd. Before she knew it, Micona found herself the de facto leader of the second-years. That’s the power of love!

Lloyd, however, had picked up on none of this. He was too innocent. Frankly, even if he wasn’t, he’d never have worked it out. All he knew was that Micona had it in for him for no apparent reason.

Meanwhile, nobody had mentioned this friction to Marie, so she was quite surprised.

“Um…you two know each other?”

“Y-yes…”

“We’re cadets at the same school. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

Micona’s clipped tone definitely suggested there was a lot more, but she was clearly trying to keep Marie out of it. Getting her involved would just make things more rainbow-colored.

There was a tense silence, but Lloyd decided this was his chance to clear the air.

“Um, Micona… Did I do something wrong?”

Just then…

“Meow.”

The cat had clearly been waiting for him to get back.

Micona turned toward the cat, trying to shoo it away.

However, this momentary distraction allowed her to recover somewhat, and when she turned back to Lloyd, there was a gleam in her eyes.

“You catch my drift?” she added, like it was entirely obvious.

An idea did strike Lloyd, but…he couldn’t get himself to believe it.

“But…what else could she mean?”

“Answer me!” Micona snapped.

“But…argh, I knew it was wrong, but how can I resist?! She’s so cute! And she’d come begging, big round eyes staring up at me, like she couldn’t live without me!”

“Er, Lloyd? Who are you talking about…?” Marie was getting really rattled.

Micona cut her off, leaning over the table like a veteran cop who’s got the perp right where she wants him.

“You slept together? You got physical?”

“Er…well…sometimes, on days off…we just lie in bed together all day long. I rubbed her belly, and she seemed to like it!”

“Heavy petting?! Flirting! All! Day! Long! Hahh…hahh…hahh…”

Micona was just straight up panting now. Clearly her lungs weren’t functioning right. Her eyes were glazed over like she was suffering from alcohol poisoning.

Heedless of this, Lloyd wheeled around, facing Marie. “Does that count as flirting?”

She had no idea what he was talking about, but the word flirting made her flush red.

“I—I guess… All day? Belly rubs? Did that happen? I don’t remember… I mean, I wouldn’t mind, but…”

This was the last straw. Micona stood up so fast her chair fell over. There were tears in her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have asked!” she wailed, sprinting out of the shop, hand clamped over her mouth.

Lloyd and Marie stared after her, dumbfounded.

After a long, awkward silence, Marie asked, “What exactly were you talking about, Lloyd? When did you give me a belly rub?”

“Er, not you, Marie! The cat.”

The little animal let out another needy meow. Lloyd went over to it and started scratching its throat.

“Just a minute.” He turned back. “I’m sorry, Marie, I know you said not to feed the stray cats, and I’m sure Micona is very strict about these city regulations, and that’s why she’s so angry with me.”

The pieces of the puzzle were clearly falling in place. Marie nodded.

“I suppose I did see you rolling around with that cat on your day off and rubbing its belly… I’m both glad it was a cat and sad it wasn’t me, but…why was Micona mad? Does she not like animals?”

The two exchanged a look, baffled.

Only the cat’s drawn-out meow broke the silence.

While that was getting cleared up, Micona had already run a considerable distance.

Stumbling a little over the crumbling paved stones of the East Side, she ran on, heedless of her path.

I knew it! They’re not just roommates! I knew they’d gone all the way!

They had not actually gone anywhere. Lloyd and Marie were an innocent boy and a hopeless girl, after all. However, the world at large would assume otherwise. Nobody ever believes a pair who goes to a hotel together and then insists nothing happened afterward.

At last, Micona wore herself out and slowed down, biting her lip and blaming herself.

I never belonged there… Indirect kisses? Cookies in her hair? So stupid.

Hey, at least she worked it out.

Eyes blurred with tears, she walked on, not looking where she was going…so of course she bumped into someone.

“Augh!”

She let out a yelp, staggering back.

There was an older man in front of her.

“………”

“Uh, sorry,” she muttered.

It was getting pretty warm out, but he was wearing an old trench coat.

Curiously, that seemed normal—like everyone wore coats this time of year, or like he belonged here in front of her.

“Hmm, take care,” he said, unperturbed.

“Excuse me again, Father.”

“Father?” he asked.

Micona did a double take, surprised.

Why did I think he was a priest?

Unsure why she’d called him that, she hastily looked away and rushed off.

“A priest? She might have potential,” the old man muttered, vanishing down the alley.

After Micona left, Lloyd got to work feeding both the cat and Marie…

After doing the bare minimum of wiping off the table, Marie just flopped down on it, waiting for food. Even little boys helped more than her…but she just wanted to gaze rapturously at Lloyd’s back as he stood in the kitchen.

Marie’s face was still a bit red from the day’s events.

I had a feeling he wasn’t talking about me, but if he had been, my mind would have snapped.

If her crush treated her like a pet, saying, “It’s cute how you beg for food…,” well, that would be the perfect inciting event for someone’s horny fanfic.

Realizing she was flushed and grinning, Marie slapped her cheeks, trying to get herself under control.

Don’t, Marie! Princess Maria! You’ve got to go back to the castle someday! You can’t just let the urges get the better of you!

This comfortable life was only temporary. That included staring longingly at Lloyd’s back.

I’m a princess, and Lloyd is a soldier… We’re from different walks of life…but that’s the romantic part! Wait! All I have to do is get Lloyd promoted up the ranks! He totally has the potential. He’s on the path to success already! Chrome’s personally leading him from one success to another… His future is bright!

Marie’s attempts to restrain herself had somehow become extremely optimistic projections. She really took after her master sometimes…

Heedless of Marie’s fantasies, Lloyd began plating dinner. This was clearly a more elaborate dish than usual, and Marie licked her lips, then started shoveling it down the hatch.

“Mm, you really went to town today. Is it a special occasion?”

“No, we just didn’t have school today, so I had time to start the marinade and take my time in the market… I’m taking a swing at some new ingredients, too. I heard avocado and shrimp are great together, but it took some courage to try!”

Pouring his free time into housework…making him the best wife and wise mother.

Marie dug into the avocado and shrimp salad. She was more a “helpless bachelor,” so it came as no surprise when she spoke with her mouth full.

“Is the dungeon thing making Chrome too busy to teach? That place was so low level, it was mostly a landmark for traveling merchants. Having it bumped to a top-tier dungeon is a real shock.”

“Yeah. They’ve got to micromanage everyone going in, as well as watch over the security and posted guards. And there was a really tough monster in there—I couldn’t do a thing against it.”

Lloyd looked downcast.

Marie put a hand to her chin, thinking.

Is this just a typical misunderstanding? Or was he really helpless against it? That would be bad.

Marie might need to beg Alka for help…or maybe pretend it had injured Lloyd. Mulling the idea over, she took a bite of bread.

Lloyd was sitting across from her, looking so depressed he hadn’t even taken a nibble—like a child told they were so naughty they couldn’t eat dinner.

“So many problems happened because I let it get away…”

Marie remembered hearing that they’d set up major detours to ensure the safety of the merchants, and that had led to traffic jams. People were in a panic, insisting this was the prelude to a disaster.

She placed a hand on Lloyd’s shoulder, comforting him.

“Well, feeling responsible isn’t a bad thing. But don’t worry, these things always work themselves out in time. If need be, I’ll step in and help out.”

Normally that would have been enough. Lloyd would have said, “You will? Thank you! How can I make up for it?”

Heh-heh-heh, and then I can use that as a pretext to tempt him into anything I want!

Ignore her rose-colored glasses.

Lloyd’s actual reaction was far more reluctant than Marie had anticipated, however.

“Y-you will…? Well, it’s nice of you to offer, but…”

“…Hngg?”

Marie seemed to have sucked in too hard, lodging a piece of avocado in her nose. She’d be stuck smelling that musky odor for a while.

After a few minutes of spluttering, she looked up at Lloyd again…and decided she’d better probe him to find out why he was acting so unusually.

“What happened?”

“Oh, no…nothing…”

Definitely something.

Lloyd was staring awkwardly at the floor.

But if he doesn’t want to share, what can I do? Sometimes, grown-ups need to let things be. I’m sure it’s not like he has a girlfriend or anything…right? Or did he finally notice I’m an attractive girl? That might be it! Oh yeah!

Marie stuffed more bread into her mouth, every dumb thought running through her brain clearly spelled out on her face. It was quite a spectacle.

After dinner, Lloyd was washing dishes.

“…Huh? What’s this?”

Marie had found a small booklet mixed in with the day’s shopping. It definitely wasn’t just some flyer. She reached out for it.

“Ah! Don’t!” Lloyd yelped. He never raised his voice.

Marie froze. “Huh? Should I not look?”

“N-no, that’s not… Give me a minute.”

He was acting very shifty. Marie looked him over carefully.

Lloyd wiped his hands on his apron, then gave her the booklet.

“You see, there’s a plan in the works with the king personally in charge. The Adventurers Guild was handing these out in the square today.”

“The king himself?”

This was Marie’s father. As a child, she’d known him to be a dedicated leader, but he’d spent years possessed by a demon lord and was now fighting hard to restore the peoples’ faith in Azami and the throne.

Marie was almost afraid to look.

To those seeking self-improvement, we offer the perfect plan—the Kingdom of Azami’s officially sponsored top-tier dungeon monster-hunting life hack!

This definitely seemed suspicious.

The picture on the cover was a photo-realistic drawing of an elderly woman smiling in a park, and it looked more like something from a life insurance ad. The copy itself was an uncomfortable mix of self-help buzzwords and pleasant-sounding vagaries that nobody would bother reading.

“This is how they hire monster hunters? What’s this country coming to…or our king…?”

Clearly, Marie’s father wanted to dispel fear of the crown and help the country out of this crisis. That much was clear. Unfortunately, this earnestness was coming on so strong, the result was just sinister.

“They want to make things safe and take swift action, so they’re gathering high-level adventurers to clear out the new dungeon,” Lloyd explained.

“But this cover… I really wanna know how they decided on it,” Marie said.

“Chrome’s eyes seemed dead,” Lloyd offered.

“He fought to the bitter end.”

Certain this was all her father’s fault, Marie took her glasses off, rubbing her eyes.

That aside, why had he looked so alarmed when she’d reached for this stupid thing? That didn’t make any sense to her.

If this had been porn, it would’ve made a lot more sense… We could laugh about how Lloyd was a boy and get closer…and oh, look, I’d be the closest woman at hand! Wouldn’t that be nice?

Proximity was really not the best motivation for these things. The sheer depth of Marie’s delusions was leading her into a high-level quest of her own. One only solved by self-control.

She had a long writhe and then calmed down a bit—sort of a postcoital nirvana—which led her to a decision.

“Lloyd, I’m going to accept this quest. It says here there’s a briefing for all assembled adventurers in the audience chamber… Okay.”

“Huh? Wait…”

Lloyd looked genuinely surprised. Marie read a lot into that response.

He definitely doesn’t want me coming. Frankly, I don’t want to get mixed up in my earnest dad’s dumb plan, but…this is the only way to figure out what happened to Lloyd. I’ve got to join these adventurers and accept this quest.

“Y-yeah, I’m sure you can defeat that monster easily. Thanks…”

See… He can barely get it out. What’s going on here, seriously?

The two ate the rest of their meal in silence. Marie took a big bite of shrimp as if to say, “I will get to the bottom of this.”