Chapter 4

To the Rescue: Suppose a Hero Always Showed Up Late…Even if He Was Unaware of It Himself

“Multiple Miconas?! What?!”

“Stand your ground! They’re fakes—gah!”

The march of the Micona copies tore through the upperclassmen, interrupting their fight with the real one.

They’d been maintaining a slight advantage, but hit from both sides by separate copies, they were instantly scattered. Coba, Threonine, and the other adventurers had been holding their own against the locust swarm but were unable to withstand the new wave.

“Hngg! Rahhh! You still with me, Your Majesty?”

“Chrome! Forget me! Go and fight! If push comes to shove, my daughter matters more!”

“Your Majesty, that’s not an option! Hraghh!”

Chrome was doing his level best to protect the king from flying Micona copy attacks.

They were hitting the adventurers hard. One fell, then another.

At the center of it all, Allan was locked in combat with a locust. A mighty swing of his ax struck the locust’s mandibles. He hated fighting monsters but was forcing himself past that, doing his utmost.

“Dammit! The second years! Dad! Colonel! Girls!”

He had his hands full with the locust alone, but then three Micona copies launched themselves at him.

Darting around him, they swung their arms—arms covered in thick shells.

He managed to dodge their attacks. Badly battered adventurers and soldiers cheered him on.

“Get ’em! Don’t hold back, Dragon Slayer!”

“Yeah! You’re our best chance of getting out of this, Allan!”

“Show us what Azami’s strongest fighter can do!”

Hearing their cries, Eug propped herself up on one elbow, sprawled out on the locust’s back, grinning as if she were watching a circus act.

“Poor thing! Got that totally unearned rep to deal with.”

Allan dodged desperately, putting distance between himself and the copies. Then he swung his ax wide.

“Hnggaaaa!”

A blow designed to send all three flying—and all three dodged easily.

Darting through the air—like flies, impossible to pin down or predict—they soon had Allan surrounded. Their arms swung wildly, raining blows upon him.

“Unh! Gah!”

Allan was made of tough stuff, but this was too much, even for him. Before they could beat him to a pulp, he collapsed.

The dragon slayer had been utterly defeated, unable to lift a finger…

This unseemly defeat led to roars of anger and disappointment.

“The dragon slayer! Going down without a fight?!”

“What the hell? He’s a total wimp!”

The crowd’s opinion of him was in free fall.

With their greatest hope crushed, the Azami forces began to waver.

“See, see?” Eug egged on triumphantly. “Tear the wrapper off and that’s all you got! We got this in the bag, right? Hurry up and surrender, King!”

But then one man got back on his feet.

“I ain’t done yet, copies!”

The Micona copies had found new targets but turned at the low growl from behind them.

Allan had blood running from his temples down his nose and dripping off his chin.

As the nearest copy turned, he hit it hard in the neck.

“Arghhhh!”

There was a thunk of an ax hitting wood.

“It snapped?! What?!”

But even with her neck broken, the Micona copy’s attacks did not cease. After all, this was just a wooden doll in the shape of Micona—blows fatal to humans were no issue for it.

With its head pointing the wrong way entirely, it swung a fist directly at Allan’s face.

Spraying blood, Allan once again fell to the ground, arms splayed.

Kree…kree?

But no sooner was he down than he came springing back up, attacking again.

“Raghhh!”

Another blow slammed into the same spot. Once again, it did nothing, and the Micona copy struck back.

Another hard hit to his face.

With the copy’s fist buried in the side of his face, Allan swung, aiming for his opponent’s side.

The Micona copy’s wings buzzed. It tried to dart backward. Allan didn’t miss a beat. He grabbed a fistful of the appendages, dragging the duplicate back to him.

“Get back here!”

Allan swung it by its wings, slamming it to the ground and then raining ax strikes down on its back.

“Yeah! I ain’t no dragon slayer!”

Wham!

“I’m a wimpy greenhorn cadet!”

Wham!

“I’m tough, and I don’t give up easy, but take that away, and what have I got left? This ugly mug!”

Wham!

“I’m the eldest son of the Lidocaines! Allan Toin Lidocaine!

Wham!

“And I ain’t about to let anyone call me ugly!”

Claaaaang!

The last one sounded extra angry.

At the end of this desperate flurry, the Micona copy was no longer moving—and it crumbled to dust.

“Finally took one down… How many left?”

As if sensing danger, the remaining Micona copies surrounded him.

“Heh-heh…I dunno how many I can take, but I’m gonna go for it, Master!”

Allan wiped the blood from his brow, raised his ax, and lowered his center of gravity.

“Come at me! I’m ready! I don’t care how many monsters there are, I ain’t scared! For the sake of the realm, I’m gonna dust you all!”

“Well said!” cried a voice in the crowd.

Just outside the ring of Micona copies, Coba and Threonine came in swinging.

A moment before, they’d looked too tired to even raise their weapons. Allan was surprised to see them back in the fight.

“D-Dad? Coba! I thought you were down for the count?”

Threonine was breathing heavily. “What dad can rest easy when his son’s still fighting?”

“Heh-heh-heh,” Coba chuckled, slapping his bald dome. “I was an army man myself… Can’t sit idly by while you new cadets are still on your feet. And you really lit a fire under me, Allan.”

A roar went up from all around them, as adventurers and soldiers alike got their wind back.

The second-year students staggered back to their feet, forming ranks.

“Are we gonna let that wimpy first-year show us up? Get it together!”

The adventurers were bellowing encouragement at one another, going after the Micona copies again.

“That’s right! This pip-squeak can’t even drink yet! Can’t let him hog all the glory! Or the drinks!”

“Can’t just nap on the job like a pet dog, can we? We’re getting paid for this!”

“Oh, shut up! You threw in the towel before me! Don’t get arrogant now! What guild are you even from?”

“None of your business!”

…Maybe encouragement is the wrong word.

Eug scowled at the sight of this. “Why? Everyone’s suddenly ready to fight again? Trying to undermine my perfect plan? Rude.”

Behind her, Shouma and Sou were talking.

“Such passion! Hate to burst that bubble, but we got shit to do.”

“I approve…but drawing this fight out longer would be ill-advised. I’ll handle this personally.”

“Come on!” Allan roared, oblivious to Sou’s approach. “If you can’t even take me out, you’ll never take Azami! As long as I can still stand, I ain’t ever giving up!”

A very, very clichéd line, but his ax backed it up.

As if in answer to his call…the hero who’d saved Allan—and unbeknownst to him, everyone else here—reached the stadium, out of breath and worn out.

“Hahh…hahh…hahh…sorry I’m late…”

Like something out of Run, Melos!, they could almost hear the uplifting music blasting over them.

Lloyd Belladonna had run from Kunlun to Maria Stadium in a single day.

The first to notice him were the girls, fighting Micona copies by the entrance.

“L-Lloyd!” Marie gasped.

Cries went up. They’d all been waiting for him.

Lloyd politely responded to each of them, and then he bowed his head to Marie.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “It’s a long story, but I got delayed. I got here as soon as I could.”

“D-don’t worry! You’re here now! And that’s all that matters! Thank you!”

“Aww, I just kept my word.”

“Your word?”

Lloyd’s head snapped up, his eyes gleaming with sincerity. Everyone gulped expectantly.

“Yes…I promised I’d be here for Allan’s exhibition match!”

““““Huh?””””

He was here…for Allan?

He’d seen the state of the stadium and thought the match was still a thing?

After a moment, everyone reached the same conclusion. “Well, it is Lloyd.”

“That’s my Lloyd!”

“He would say that.”

“…Mm.”

How easily they give up.

Oblivious to all of this, Lloyd looked around at the arena and the stands.

“Where should I sit? Will any empty seat do?”

Lloyd sat down bolt upright—with locusts and Micona copies buzzing all around.

“Uh, Lloyd,” Marie said. “Did you notice what’s going on here?”

“Huh? Oh, right. What is this? Some sort of halftime show? Are those cheerleaders?”

The Micona copies certainly were busty, and that would certainly cheer some people up but…it would be difficult to pass the giant locusts off as mascots. That proposal would be dropped straight in the shredder at the planning phase.

Meanwhile, Eug was staring at Lloyd, shaking like a leaf.

“Wh-wh-wha…,” she stammered, unable to finish the word.

She settled for the loudest scream of her life. Definitely the type who really can’t deal with it if her plans go off the rails.

“Wh-why are you here?! How could you make it all this way in a single day?”

“Uh, I flew most of the way and…tried really hard?” Lloyd was very confused, but he did his best to answer Eug’s borderline philosophical question. “Uh, first we maxed out the power on the village travel cannon…”

“I don’t care! Are you alone? Any other villagers with you? I might have to beat a hasty retreat…”

Lloyd looked rather put out. She’d asked and then refused to hear the answer. However, he was good boy, so he handled it like a grown-up.

“Um, it was only my classmates who were invited here, not the whole village. And I did some crazy stuff to get here.”

“Whew, then fine.”

The moment she learned no Kunlun villagers were coming, Eug regained her composure. She was definitely one to keep her eye on the bottom line.

There was an awkward silence, and then she turned to Lloyd, speaking in the exaggerated tones of a criminal mastermind.

“So what do you plan to do, Lloyd Belladonna? Are you really just here to cheer on a classmate?”

This reminded him of what Alka had said. His pursed his lips and gave her a very serious look.

“Eug, Chief Alka told me everything. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Huh, that’s a surprise… I didn’t think she’d ever tell you the truth.”

Eug assumed he meant her plan to bring the world to the brink of destruction so she could forcibly advance the level of progress.

“Just because you couldn’t revive Vritra, that’s no excuse for lying about your plans, pretending you’d succeeded, and then closing the gate so you could flee the scene. That’s so sad!”

Lloyd’s version caught her off-guard. Completely off-guard.

“Huh?!”

She was left gaping at him. He spoke as if she were a new hire unable to meet expectations and skipping out on assignments to avoid failure—which might work in college but not on the job.

While she blinked at him, Lloyd smoothly transitioned into full-on lecture mode.

“Get it together! Your silly pride won’t get you anywhere. If you can’t do something, just say so! Because of this, Alka is—”

“W-wait, what?! What are you talking about? None of this is true!”

“What isn’t true?”

“I can definitely revive Vritra!”

“Sigh…”

“I just chose not to!”

“………Sigh.”

“………Intentionally!”

““………………””

There was a long, awkward silence.

Finally, Lloyd found the right metaphor.

“You sound like a child that forgot to do their homework.”

“I feel so defeated! Even though I’m telling the truth!”

She was actually the ringleader! And like Alka, she’d been alive for over a hundred years but found herself getting scolded by a fifteen-year-old.

“It’s true!” she wailed, unable to accept this. “It’s true! I had a good reason!”

“Which is?”

“I’m going to fill the world with demon lords, start a war, and help human society progress!”

“Are you messing with me?” Lloyd snapped. Not even a moment’s hesitation.

Meanwhile, Marie and the girls were all gasping at the scale of her plans, which was the reaction she’d been hoping to get from Lloyd.

Lloyd was positively fuming now.

“I can’t believe it! You sound like the villain in a children’s book! Nobody actually thinks like that!”

This brutal takedown left Eug clutching her head, curled up on the locust’s back.

“Argh, this is the worst conversation! He’s too pure! I don’t stand a chance!”

“Oh, right!” Marie cried. “Hey, Lloyd, this is such a mess. Eug brought some eggs from the boonies, and because of that, all these weird bugs showed up!”

“Really? This is all Kunlun’s fault? Oh! I thought I’d seen these locusts somewhere!”

“That’s right! Because of these unhygienic eggs, there are bugs and E. coli and pinworms, and it’s a whole pandemic! But Eug won’t listen to reason! We’re at a total loss.”

“A-a pandemic?!”

“Yeah, parasites and pinworms and the like…! All caused by that egg!”

“Oooh! And all from my village? Oh, they do look rather treant-like!”

Marie’s words clearly made a lot of sense to him. Lloyd basically believed anything Marie said.

“…No, no,” Eug argued, but he didn’t listen to her.

He was off to the races, putting his own spin on things.

“You know, Alka did say she wanted me to smash that egg. She said it would release the seal on her powers, but I bet she was also worried about the pandemic! Pinworms are the ones that lay eggs in your butthole, right? And Micona was defeated by the pinworms, and that’s why there’s all these things that look just like her!”

The powerful phrase defeated by pinworms exploded through the group, causing every cheek to twitch. City pinworms were clearly some sort of Alien-style science horror.

“…No, no,” Eug said again.

Lloyd continued to ignore her.

Seeing Lloyd’s mind doing unspeakable things to Micona’s character, Marie put the final nail in the coffin.

“So we’re all busy trying to steal the egg from her! Can you help with that, Lloyd? Otherwise, we won’t even get around to Allan’s match.”

“Oh no! I can’t have my village ruining Allan’s moment of glory! All right! I’m not sure what use I’ll be, but Lloyd Belladonna will help exterminate these nasty bugs!”

“…………No, no, no, noooooooo! There’s no bugs! No pinworms! Why would you even think that? You ignore everything I say but accept that lady’s crazy story without question? I don’t understand…aughhh!”

Before Eug could finish her rant, the locust she was riding…tilted.

Lloyd had hefted the front of it as easily as you’d pick up a chair. The locust’s powerful mandibles were digging into Lloyd’s arm and doing absolutely no damage. Like it was just playfully nibbling him.

“Give it up, Eug! Hand over the egg! It’s a health code violation! You’re making trouble for the city and the chief! Why are you being so stubborn about this? Are you so desperate to hide your failures? It doesn’t make sense!”

Lloyd turned, throwing the locust. Eug went with it, hitting the floor face-first.

“Oww… The other villagers may not be coming, but he’s a threat in his own right!” She turned to Sou and Shouma. “Hey! Help me stop him!”

Then she grinned triumphantly. “Ha! Has Alka gone senile? She should never have sent this kid. Pyrid, maybe—he would have stood a chance.”

But she was getting ahead of herself.

Shouma and Sou were both helping Eug with the express intention of making Lloyd into a hero.

There was no way either would stop him from saving the day.

““Good luck, Lloyd!””

They waved at Lloyd like parents on field day. Shouma pulled out a palm-sized box with a tube on top—a camera.

“Huh? Hey! What are you—Huh?!”

The unexpected always seemed to obliterate Eug’s vocabulary.

“Eug,” Sou explained. “I said today was the first step in the Jiou Empire’s plans to shake the world but…I’m afraid that was a lie.”

“Har?!”

“The hero of the new world, Lloyd Belladonna, arrived just in time to save Azami! His first step! What moment could be more perfect?! Shouma, you have the camera?”

“That I do! Such passion! Lloyd! Eyes over here!” Shouma was practically a photographer at an anime convention now.

“Shouma?! Why are you here?” Lloyd said, surprised.

“Hey, Lloyd! What do I look like to you?” Sou asked like this was an inside joke between the two of them.

“Oh! You’re the really evil-looking guy!”

“Mm! How wonderful! You will be the new hero in my stead! Keep up the good work!”

Lloyd was unclear why Shouma and Sou were standing shoulder to shoulder, cheering him on. Understandably.

With the backup she’d been counting on out of commission, Eug was ready to pop a vein.

“Right, of course! They only helped me to make Lloyd into a hero! They don’t care about progressing the world… Damn you, Alka! That’s why you sent him in!”

She ground her teeth together, furious.

Heedless of this, Sou and Shouma had become a director and his assistant, capturing Lloyd from every angle.

“First, we want to pan up, then pull back into a full-body shot. The hero angle.”

“Okay! Passionate hero angle coming!”

What exactly was a hero angle? Whoops, one of Eug’s canines just snapped.

“Goddammit! I made that camera!”

Just then, something came whizzing from the stage—right at Lloyd.

“……………”

The real Micona. Her multicolored wings whirring, she lunged right at Lloyd, hand like a dagger.

“Yah—M-Micona?!”

He only just managed to dodge her.

“Th-thank god!” Eug cried, eyes filling with tears. “You came to save me from these idiots, right?!”

Nope. She just really hated Lloyd. Instinctively. See?! She couldn’t stop glancing sideways at Marie. Like she was still trying to prove she was better than him.

Following her lead, the puppet copies started clustering around him.

He was surrounded by Miconas.

Lloyd looked grimly from the real one to the copies.

“So this is what happens when you’re defeated by city pinworms…”

It was unclear whether she understood how wrong that was, but she reacted with fury. All the Miconas lunged at him.

Phyllo, Riho, and Marie all threw themselves into the fray, defending him.

He called their names, worried.

“We’ll take care of them!”

“You go on ahead, Lloyd!”

“……Get the egg, Master.”

Mena, Rol, and Selen came after the Micona copies, too.

“Me and Rol can handle these puppets!”

“Heh-heh! The tide’s in our favor, and I feel great!”

“Lloyd! Please, save Vritra! This is all I can do to help!”

Lloyd nodded confidently.

“Yes, I wouldn’t want any of you touching the egg that caused all this! But I am very good at cleaning! Leave that to me!”

Itching to do some housework, Lloyd advanced on Eug.

“Hand over the egg!”

He leaped toward the locust she was riding. She desperately spurred it into flight.

“No! I don’t want my flawless plan ruined by this clown!”

“Let go of that egg now! Before the pinworms defeat you, too!”

“They don’t even exist!”

The fate of Azami came down to a childish game of tag.

Making full use of her wings, the real Micona had both Riho and Phyllo on the ropes.

Riho was blasting magic with her mithril arm but hadn’t landed a single hit.

“Damn! If I just had a little more time to chant or scrawl a sigil!”

Unable to pour enough magic into her attacks, even if she did manage to hit her target, they’d hardly do anything. She was starting to panic.

Marie was also struggling to land a spell.

“If Micona managed to get to Eug, even Lloyd would have to run for it! We’ve gotta hold her here!

“…Mm.”

With Micona making full use of all three dimensions, Phyllo’s martial arts couldn’t connect. Each swing came up empty, leaving nothing but a whoosh of wind.

Phyllo gave up on chasing her and ran over to Riho.

“What, Phyllo? Got a bright idea?”

Riho looked up hopefully. Phyllo nodded and whispered her idea.

“I think…”

“You think what?”

“…I think Micona has a crush on Marie.”

“Who cares?!” Riho roared.

Phyllo didn’t bat an eye. She never did. Instead, she pointed at Micona.

“………………”

Micona had stopped dodging, repeatedly glancing in Marie’s direction—like a boy who’d just scored a strike at the bowling alley, checking to see if the girls were impressed.

“…See?”

She was diving close to Marie, then pulling back. Repeatedly. What was it accomplishing?

“Her elbow?”

Each time Micona swooped in, her elbow was grazing Marie’s boobs. Riho started laughing, forgetting she was in the middle of a fight.

“Riho! Phyllo! I think Micona might still be in control! We might be able to use that!”

Marie seemed to think this was why Micona wasn’t attacking, but it was quite the opposite—because she’d taken leave of her senses, she was sneakily groping Marie’s boobs.

“…………Get it?”

Riho still found it impossible to care. She rubbed the bridge between her eyes.

“Okay, sure,” she said. “But say she does have a crush…what of it?”

That was one possible explanation for Micona’s actions, but how would they use that information? To Riho, it was just another distraction.

Phyllo looked her right in the eye and offered a suggestion.

“……We could use Marie as a shield and stop her attacking.”

“Be serious. Our problem is we can’t hit her. We need a way to take her—Wait.”

She’d had an idea.

“We don’t need to take her down. I mean, she’s been brainwashed, right?”

She wasn’t like this normally. She was being possessed by unnatural influences, barely retaining her base instincts vis-à-vis Marie.

“If we can just free her from the mind control…worth a shot, Phyllo! Buy me some time.”

“…………Mm.”

Riho made a beeline straight for Marie.

“Eep! Riho?”

Riho grabbed her shoulders. “Listen up, Marie. Say these exact words to Micona.”

“To Micona? What do you mean?”

“Don’t think about it! Don’t you dare act embarrassed or hesitate! Actually, some embarrassment might help.”

“Um…that sounds dubious…”

Riho leaned in, whispering in Marie’s ear.

“…Can you say that?”

“Why?”

“Please! I don’t have the time or inclination to explain!”

“The inclination…? Argh, fine, I’ll do it.”

Riho gave her a grateful pat on the shoulder.

Very unsure of herself, Marie turned to face Micona.

Micona and Phyllo were going at it. “…Ow,” Phyllo muttered. Facing Micona alone was a bit much for her, and she was taking a lot of hits.

A faint frown appeared on her face. She really didn’t want to lose here.

But Micona wasn’t backing down.

Then Marie’s voice cut in. “Micona!”

A quiver ran over her—a moment’s hesitation caused by the conflict between her brainwashing and her (carnal) instincts.

That same quiver ran over all the Micona copies. Their movements slowed.

Micona’s head turned toward Marie with an audible creak.

Marie took a big breath. “Stop this! This isn’t what you really want!”

A faint gasp escaped Micona’s lips. “…Ah.”

“Shake off this mind control!” Marie cried. “Help us steal the egg! If you do…”

“………Ah.”

“I’ll give you anything you want!”

Micona’s entire body started vibrating. Her hips were writhing.

“…Um, that meant from my shop, right?” Marie said, turning back to Riho.

“Uh, sure,” Riho replied, staring into the distance. “Something like that… Wow, so Phyllo’s idea was on the money. Yikes, Marie, sucks to be you.”

Her monotone suggested she knew something Marie really would be better off not knowing.

“Hold on, Riho, why are you pitying me suddenly? What’s so yikes?”

Micona’s writing subsided—and she spoke, her voice a hoarse rasp.

“……Anything? Be more specific.”

She was demanding details!

“Er, um, like medicine from my shop?”

“And? What else?”

“Uh…tea?”

“Go a little further.”

She was really responsive—like she’d already shaken the brainwashing.

Riho felt like the clash between common sense and the lack thereof would probably loop them back around to the start, so she ran over to Micona.

“Micona, listen, ‘anything’ means you-know-what.”

“And by ‘you-know-what,’ you mean?”

Riho started to panic. Crap! There must be something that’ll pull the wool over her eyes! Something convincing!

She started rummaging through her pockets like D—raemon in trouble.

Then…she found something in her back pocket. She pulled it out and held it up before Micona’s eyes.

“Th-this is…!”

A white scrap of cloth.

Earth spider silk panties, made in Kunlun.

“I’ll give you Marie’s panties.”

“Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyessssssss!” Writhe writhe writhe.

The noise Micona made was a shriek, a roar, and a bellow all at once. The wings at her back whirred to life, and she shot off in Eug’s direction. The panties she’d snatched from Riho clutched tightly in one hand.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“Does this mean Micona’s snapped back to reality? I couldn’t hear that last exchange. What did you say? What did you just give her?”

“I…guess that counts?”

It was dubious whether Micona had ever dwelled in reality, but at the very least, the ruse had worked.

Watching Micona rocket toward Eug, Riho muttered grimly, “May she never find out those were mine.”

Meanwhile, Eug’s panic was reaching new heights.

Lloyd might be the weakest person in Kunlun, but he still had their unique strength.

She’d been counting on Shouma and Sou to counter that, but they’d been instantly reduced to a cameraman and director, filming his every move.

Meanwhile, Allan had gotten the adventurers hyped up…so at the least, it was going to be a while before they could back the king into a corner.

“Why isn’t my plan working? You’re really pissing me off, Alka!” Eug swore, steering her locust through the air. “But I’ve still got a swarm of locusts and puppets! If we can take the king hostage…eep!”

“Give me the egg! Before you get pinworms, too!”

“That’s not even a possibility! Argh…I’ve at least gotta stop this kid somehow…”

Then the real Micona swopped in from her blind spot. Clutching a white scrap of cloth in one hand, which was weird, but Eug was delighted! Her backup had arrived!

“Finally! The original Micona should be a match for Lloyd! Get this boy off my back!”

Whoosh. (This was the sound of Micona snatching the egg out of her hands.)

“Huh?” (Eug’s face was frozen in a triumphant smirk.)

Toss. (Micona threw the egg in Marie’s direction.)

It was over in five seconds.

Thus ended the battle for the egg.

Eug and Lloyd were locked in place.

Finally, Eug let out a shriek. “What are you dooooiiiing?!”

Micona started fidgeting, her eyes locked on Marie. She was totally fishing for a compliment. If she had a tail, she’d be wagging the hell out of it.

Whatever the reason, they’d successfully stolen the egg, so Marie was delighted.

“Hell yeah! We got the egg!”

“If we can get Vritra out of there, Alka will get her power back!”

Riho and Marie were celebrating, but not Phyllo.

“…So we’ve got it, but now what?” she asked. “Crack it?”

“Y-yeah, I guess so. Phyllo, you’re up!”

They handed her the egg, and she unleashed a formidable smash…

“…No dice.”

She tried head-butting it, but this was equally ineffective. The shell just wobbled like rubber, absorbing the blow.

“Sorry, but looks like you’re not strong enough! Give it here!”

But even with the mithril arm, Vritra’s egg remained unfazed.

Eug had almost caught up with them.

“Hate to barge in.”

Shpp! Selen had suddenly appeared between Phyllo and Riho.

“S-Selen? Sorry, but this is beyond your—”

Before she could finish, Selen started yelling at the egg.

“Hey, Vritra! Why are you hiding in that egg? We’re all in trouble, and it’s your fault! Because of you, Sir Lloyd—my precious boy—had to fly all the way back from Kunlun to be by my side! Stop cowering inside that thing and get out here!”

“To be by your side, sure. Hmm?”

The egg in her hand quivered.

“………Is Selen getting through to him?”

“You reject your master’s orders?! Fine! Be that way! The penalty will be five nightly reps of Sir Lloyd’s physical stats from memory and we’ll review my full list of seven hundred and thirty reasons why Sir Lloyd is wonderful! Following that, you’ll have to draw pictures of Sir Lloyd’s face with your eyes closed until you can produce results I deem satisfactory!”

The quivering grew stronger.

“Did I say nightly? That’s too far into the future! We’d better start right now! Reason number one! Sir Lloyd’s smile is the reason for the prosperity of all mankind! Sir Lloyd is like a sun shining on the hearts of man, the impetus for the creation of new life, the basis for our every action, the antithesis of original sin, and thus I resolve to devote myself to his service no matter how many people call me a stalker, defying the court of public opinion and the long arm of the law, devoting my life and all future reincarnations until death do us part and beyond from good morning to good night everlasting—”

Some of this seemed cribbed from some corporate philosophy speech, but Selen delivered the entire thing without a trace of shame. The people fighting around them were starting to give her looks.

But…it proved super effective.

The quivering turned to shaking…and then there was a crack.

“Aughhhhh! I’m so sorry! Master, I beg forgiveness! No more! Your voice is echoing through my mind! You’re still on the first reason, but you’ve already written enough for a short story! Half of it was just your delusions! If you wrote them all down and published them, the resulting book would be a blunt instrument! You’d have to register it as a lethal weapon!”

With a flurry of apologies, the cursed belt—possessed by Vritra—emerged from the shattered egg.

Eug had been moments from snatching the egg away, but when she saw Selen and the belt, she lost it completely.

“No! No, no, no, no, no, no! This isn’t happeniiiiiiing!!!!!”

The loudest shriek of the day so far. She was pounding the locust’s back.

“I sealed him! Permanently! There’s no way he could ever escape that seal on his own!”

“The results of my education,” Selen declared proudly.

“What education?!” Eug yelled. She pointed a finger at Selen. It was shaking. “Anything you taught him! Is absolutely! Fundamentally! Bleghhh!”

Eug let out a yelp of surprise that closely resembled a barf noise.

The air itself began to shake.

“It’s them! They’re coming!” Eug wailed.

“Oh, the chief? Time to run for it!”

“We’ve filmed all we can.”

Sou and Shouma were still smiling happily.

Meanwhile, a badly battered Allan was leading a desperate fight to save the king from the Micona copies and locusts.

“They’re nearly as good as Micona herself!”

“Don’t let your guard down, Allan! Leave the root cause of this evil to the girls! We must protect the king!”

“Rahhh! Go on, Allan!”

The crowd of adventurers clashed with their hideous foes, roaring. Allan raised a fist in response.

“Got it! We’re fighting to the bitter end, monst—Mm?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Allan saw someone unexpected.

“…Whew! We rush all the way just for a bug hunt?”

That was definitely not an adventurer. It was a cheery-looking old man with a cane.

Crap. Has some civilian out for a stroll wandered in here by mistake? Allan broke into a run, calling out, “Old-timer! Look around you! You can’t be—”

“Hmm, cities are always bustling! So these are those pesky…city pinworms, was it?”

The old man wasn’t making much sense, but he sure seemed super chill about it. Allan decided he’d have to pick the guy up and carry him to safety.

But a giant locust hurled itself at the old man’s back.

“Hey! Look out! Run!” Allan shrieked.

The old man slowly raised his head, hand fussing with the scarf around his neck.

“My, what a large locust,” he cooed, entirely unbothered. Then he waved the scarf, like he was shooing it away.

“You fool, that won’t—”

Whaaammmm! Ka—scruuuuuuunch!!!!

There was a roar, and the sweatcloth shock wave shattered the locust’s face and legs, reducing it to dust.

Allan gaped at the dust cloud, his mind locking up completely.

“Uh, huh? Old-timer?”

The old man put the shock wave–producing cloth back around his neck and wandered off.

“Sheesh, such a fuss over a few insects. What is the city coming to?”

Beside him was the kind of middle-aged woman you found on any farm, sweeping the ground with a broom.

“Grandpa Pyrid, don’t overdo it! The cleanup’s a nightmare.”

She was industriously sweeping rubble and half-dead locusts to one side.

“Oh, another one?” she muttered, as if the monster lunging at her were just more trash to pick up. She turned and strolled toward it. “Hup!”

She hefted her broom—and the tip of it was suddenly terrifyingly sharp.

“If you don’t keep things spick-and-span, you’ll get bugs everywhere!”

She stabbed the locust through the head…and stirred.

Spltt spltt.

When she was sure it wasn’t moving, she tossed it to the side of the arena.

“Um? That’s…a broom, right?” Allan said, unable to process this transdimensional combat. “Did I…get hit so many times? Am I’m seeing things?”

The sight of this old man and rotund woman cheerily dominating the battlefield was certainly tough to believe.

But before Allan had a chance to recover, a man with a hatchet came tearing through the locusts—wearing black clothes, with a black cloth on his head, looking every bit the part of a ninja.

Shpp! Shpp! Scrunch! Schiing!

He was bounding off walls, floors, rubble, and pillars with dizzying speeds.

“What a relief!” Allan said. “A ninja is much easier on the brain than broom and sweatcloth attacks! Arghhh!”

The very fact that this had been comforting made his head hurt. But ninja were known for combat! Unlike sweatcloths.

Heedless of Allan’s reaction, the ninja paused to catch his breath.

“Whew…more of them than I thought! This’ll take a while…”

He didn’t look pleased by this. He started flashing very ninja-like signs with his hands.

“I wouldn’t normally use this on bugs, but…time to make some clones.”

The shadow at his feet began to extend…and then grew into a human shape.

“Uh…c-clones?”

In seconds, there were twenty ninjas filling Allan’s vision.

This spectacle left Allan reeling, eyes rolling up in his head.

The crowd of ninjas all shouted. ““““““““Let’s show them what woodcutters can do!””””””””

“What kind of woodcutter can do that?!” Allan squeaked.

Woodcutters weren’t known for cloning themselves.

A mysterious whirlwind appeared in front of the “woodcutters.” All the monsters vanished, replaced by an ordinary-looking young man with an ancient sword.

“Are you seriously cloning yourself for these pests?” he asked.

““““““““Saves time,”””””””” they chorused.

“Pfft, even this blunt old thing can clear them up. Watch!”

The young man waved the blade in the direction of a distant locust.

“What was it again? Girlsbar? No… Klondikebur? Wait…was I supposed to shout ‘Excalibur’?”

As if in response to that last word, the old blade pulsed with light. The distant locust was blown away—taking a chunk of the stadium with it. Pulverized.

“See? All there is to it.”

““““““““Don’t demolish the building!””””””””

“Oh, don’t all shout at once. That was just a careless mistake!”

That was way beyond careless! Allan couldn’t summon the energy to point this out.

He was just crushed. The adventurers, the soldiers, Coba, and Threonine were all just gaping, unable to believe their eyes.

“What is going on?”

Old-timers, ninjas…and there were some little kids playing with the monsters in the distance.

“Let’s see who can throw the bugs the farthest!”

“You’re on! I’ll go first! Hah! Yikes!”

The second the kid grabbed the locust, its torso collapsed, and limbs flew in all directions.

“Ha-ha! You squeezed too tight! These things are weak, so they turn to dust really easy.”

“Aw, what a waste! I saw a bigger one over there. Let’s try that!”

“Those are real fragile, too! Careful!”

“These giants are…fragile? What am I? Am I dreaming?”

A tiny little girl came tottering by, white robes flowing—Alka. She went up to the kids and rapped them on their heads.

“Now, now, we’re not here to play! Focus on killing all these bugs. Remember what I told you?”

“Sorry, Chief! We’ll gather the locusts and human-shaped treants in the center of the arena.”

“That’s right! It’ll be faster if we smash them all at once.”

Alka pointed at the stage—which was already teeming with insects and Micona copies. The copies were writhing like broken dolls, and the locusts were futilely mashing their mandibles.

“………………”

Unable to speak, Allan looked past the stage—and saw a totally normal-looking farmer waving a hand.

“Chief! We got a bunch rounded up! Ya wanna do the honors?”

Alka gave a satisfied nod. “Mm. Give it some space, everyone!” she called, pointing her fingers at the sky above. “I’ll make it the smallest meteorite I can for control… Hmm, pretty good!”

There was an earsplitting roar, and a rock covered in crimson flames smashed into the stage.

“Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what was thaaaat?!” Allan screeched. First a sweatcloth that made shock waves, now meteorites?!

Alka nodded, pleased with the destruction she’d unleashed on monster and stage alike.

“That takes care of that! I’ve got a few people to say hi to, so I’m gonna bow out early.”

“We’re done already? Man, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. It’s just a few bugs!”

“Don’t be such a grouch, Grandpa. They don’t get bugs like this in the city.”

Everyone was laughing like a job well done.

“Yeah, like the chief said, ‘City folk’re scared of bugs, so they’ve asked us country folk for help!’”

“Teleporting here through that crystal was way harder than the extermination,” grumbled the young man with the old sword—Excalibur. “We smashed the hell out of somebody’s house on the way out of that thing… Not my problem!”

““““““““Don’t worry, I fixed it,”””””””” assured the woodcutter clone crowd.

Everyone else present simply boggled at the sight.

While the Kunlun villagers’ attack was giving Allan and the adventurer’s jaws a workout, Eug’s eyes were ready to pop out of their sockets.

“Kunlun villagers…Alka…urp…”

The locust she’d been riding dissolved to dust, and she fell to the ground. She was left crawling to Alka’s feet.

“Shame, Eug. I’m back, as sexy as ever.”

Alka struck a pose that was the farthest possible thing from sexy.

“Dammit! We didn’t even get the Holy Sword yet!” Eug whined. “My perfect plan…”

“You’re always like this! Too confident of your own strategies. If you can’t even accept your own weaknesses and grow, you’ll never be able to control that thing.”

“Shut up! I will surpass you! I’m gonna develop this world and prove I can control the Last Dungeon’s power!”

Alka looked at Eug like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“Then I’ll oppose you with all my might. I’ve chosen to let this world take its time. And follow it wherever it might go. I’m not letting you stop me, Eug.”

Alka reached out to grab her.

“That, we can’t allow, Alka.”

“It ain’t what I’d call passionate, Chief!”

Sou and Shouma had appeared on either side of Eug.

“You’re still here?” Alka growled.

“I’d love to kill you here and now,” Sou said. “But today is not the day.”

“Really? You’re gonna let this chance slip through your fingers?”

“Of course.” Sou shrugged. “First, we have to edit Lloyd’s exploits! With myself as the villain, and Lloyd as the remarkable hero, leaving undeniable evidence for the world to come.”

“Edit? You were filming that?!” Alka balked, blinking at him.

Sou nodded. “You have any idea how long I’ve been wandering as a runeman? As long as the myths about me linger, I can never truly vanish. This demands hard work! Even a five-minute video deserves at least five hours in the editing booth.”

Alka gave him a look reserved for pretentious You—ubers. But a moment later, she was distracted by something much more horrifying.

“Wow, Lloyd! You’ve grown so strong! The first step to true heroics! Such passion!”

Shouma had his arms around Lloyd, rubbing his head.

“Shouma! What’s going on here?”

“Don’t worry about a thing, Lloyd! I’ve gotta go edit all the footage we shot.”

Alka gaped at him. “Shouma?!” she shrieked. “Hey! Shouma! What are you doing?”

“Just you watch, Chief! I’ll do anything for Lloyd! More than you ever could! Just you wait—I’ll prove it! Bye!”

Shouma had thoroughly mussed Lloyd’s soft hair by now. Alka looked envious.

Clearly, these two were a lot alike.

“You’ll die for this!” Alka roared, pouncing like a lion. “Lloyd will never be yours!”

Shouma dodged easily. “I’m not sure what you mean by that!” he shouted. “But he’s definitely not yours, either. Also, you’re the one who’s gonna die. I mean, even if you do, you’ll resurrect in, like, a year, right? And it would be good for Sou!”

“Fool! That year is precious! Lloyd’s just hitting puberty! A year can make a huge difference in all sorts of places! You’ve got to examine adolescent boys at least once every three days!”

How proud she was of her crimes.

With Alka clearly not in prime condition, Shouma was easily dodging her and giving Lloyd hugs between evasions. Finally, he reluctantly stepped aside. He and Sou hauled Eug to her feet and leaped backward.

“Let’s get outta here, Dr. Eug!”

“Mm, I want to edit this! Loan me your ‘con-puter’ later.”

Under his arm, Eug flailed her arms and legs.

“How dare you! If you’d done your part, this would never have happened!”

“Yeah, but it was the first step toward Lloyd’s heroic legend!”

“If the Kunlun villagers hadn’t arrived, it would have been perfect… This time, the extras may have cleared things up, but next time, it’ll be all Lloyd! Oh, I’m getting heated up just thinking about it!”

An expression of rapture crossed Shouma’s face.

“Shouma!” Grandpa Pyrid roared, spying him with Eug and Sou. “I thought I hadn’t seen you in a while! What are you wasting your time on now?!”

“Whoops, Grandpa Pyrid… He could be trouble. Let’s run for it,” Sou said—not exactly answering the question. He opened a teleport gate.

“Dammit! I won’t lose next time! Remember that!” Eug barked, hitting all the clichés.

Shouma and Sou stepped through the gate, leaving only their heads and arms poking out so they could wave at Lloyd one last time.

“There you have it, Lloyd! Our passionate brother-ship will go on, I promise!”

“Indeed, Lloyd! I promise to continue to get up to no good!”

“Let’s get a move on!” Eug yelled. “Alka! Next time I’ll prove how perfect I am! Hey! Watch your hands!”

And they vanished in a puff of farce and fluster.

“Is it…over?” Riho whispered. The tension of mortal combat faded, her knees buckled, and she slumped to the ground.

“The crowd still seemed pretty worked up,” Rol pointed out.

“Well, yeah,” Mena said, pointing to the cause. “Look there.”

“Whatever he’s up to, nice to see Shouma again.”

“He loves Lloyd as much as Chief Alka, huh?”

“Okay, everyone, enough chitchat.”

Right, all the Kunlun villagers were still here.

The fight may have been done, but nobody knew who these people were. It was too early to celebrate. If you’ve ever read a manga that went on way too long, you’d know ninety-nine percent of the time, people like this turn out to be the next (and far greater) threat.

So the adventurers and soldiers were all bracing themselves, ready for anything. Hands on their weapons, a powder keg ready to go off.

“Chrome, are they our enemies?” the king asked.

“No,” Chrome said, picking his words. “I don’t think so. They’re, uh… How can I put this…?”

He couldn’t exactly admit they were from the legendary village of Kunlun. That would require he explain that Lloyd was from there, too.

Choline was busy tending to Merthophan’s injuries, but like Chrome, she was wondering what to do next… Before anyone answered, Allan stepped forward.

“I’ve got a lot of questions here,” he said. “Who are you people?”

The crowd around him gulped, in awe of his courage.

“…Allan knows no fear!”

“Can even he survive this?”

“Damn, Allan!”

Hearing this, Grandpa Pyrid crooked an eyebrow.

“Mm? Allan?” he parroted, as if trying to remember something. “Allan… Oh! Ohhhhhh, so you’re Allan!”

At this cry of delight, the other villagers remembered the same thing.

“Ah, so this is him!”

“You’re the one who helped Lloyd!”

“Oh, my! This boy?”

“Thanks, mister!”

All of them were remembering what Lloyd had said during the banquet: A soldier named Allan had helped him get enlisted. And they were all acting as though they’d just met a celebrity.

“Huh? Huh? What?” Allan sputtered.

Grandpa Pyrid stepped forward with his hand outstretched.

“A pleasure to meet you, Allan!” he cried.

He took Allan’s hand, shaking it vigorously.

Allan desperately searched for an explanation.

With no information to base that on, all he could do was stare in shock as a line formed in front of him, villager after villager bowing their heads to him.

““““Thank you so much, Allan! Keep up the good work!””””

“Uh, you’re welcome?” Allan said, basically on reflex. The villagers seemed thoroughly satisfied with this interaction.

“Right, let’s get on home! This way!” Alka called. Following her lead, they all began shuffling out of the stadium.

“Uh, but who are they? I seriously have no idea…,” Allan muttered. He turned to the crowd around him, seeking answers.

But the adventurers and soldiers…were staring at him with respect and awe.

“Wow, Allan,” someone whispered. “Those powerful warriors work for you?”

This unleashed a chorus of praise.

“So they’re the secret to the dragon slayer’s strength?”

“If people like that are bowing to him…he must have earned their respect!”

“Perhaps he summoned the ancient heroes!”

“Like that matters, tiger! He had our respect from day one!”

“I’m sorry if I ever disrespected you, Allan! Lloyd and those villagers…they’re all your minions?!”

“Uh…huh? What?”

“You’re amazing, Allan.”

“C-Colonel Chrome?! Uh…help?”

“I have no idea how to explain any of this, so this is working out perfectly. I promise I’ll swallow a porcupine fish later.”

“I didn’t ask you to! Hey! Listen! I’m not strong at alllllll!”

“We cool with that?”

“Sure, it’s hilarious. Let’s roll with it.”

And thus, the Jiou invasion of Azami resulted in nothing more than the mistaken belief that Allan was a badass.

A few weeks after the Jiou Empire exhibition match-turned-attack…

The military had yet to receive a moment’s rest.

The enemy emperor himself had come to Azami to deliver a declaration of war. The friendly relationship between the two countries collapsed; both sides beefed up border security, and the top brass was in meetings from morning to night.

The Jiou Empire seemed to be making its own preparations. There was no sign of them taking any direct actions—like they’d skipped from the outbreak of hostilities right to a cold war.

The cadets had been assigned to turn the empty warehouses on the South Side into a place to house the refugees fleeing Jiou, unable to accept Sou’s plans.

Soldiers carried planks of wood, buffeted by the sea breeze.

Riho was lying on a pile of those planks, staring half-lidded at the clouds drifting by above. Totally slacking off.

“I figured out Jiou’s plans first, but do I get any gratitude? Nooo. They just put me to work.”

“But you aren’t working, Riho!” Selen snapped. She was busy organizing supplies. “Asking for no reward is considered a virtue, you know.”

“Virtue, my foot! You need money to live! Ugh, I’m so not in the mood.”

She reluctantly sat up, watching Selen work. Selen was not actually doing anything herself. She was leaving it all to the straps of her cursed belt, Vritra.

“You seem to be slacking off plenty yourself.”

“M-Master, I agree with Riho! I need a little break…” Vritra sounded exhausted.

Selen rejected this proposal out of hand. “Quit your grumbling! I am extremely busy gazing at Sir Lloyd. I’ll make up for it by talking to you all night long! Give and take!”

“Can I give up instead?”

Selen’s offer was hardly a fair trade.

Selen paid Vritra’s protests no heed, her eyes locked on Lloyd. He was really working up a sweat, happily hammering away with a carpenter he knew.

“Oh, Sir Lloyd doing manual labor is a feast for the eyes! Vritra, let’s meet our quota for the day. Then I can go stand closer to him!”

“……Perhaps I’d have been better off remaining sealed away, bamboozled by Eug. No—it was my failure that led to this girl losing her childhood. I must persevere! Sigh…”

Vritra set about his task once more.

Lloyd came vaulting over to them, jumping so far, the carpenter fell over in surprise.

“Right! How’s it going over here? I’ve finished up my task, so I can help!”

“Oh, Sir Lloyd! Shall we split up the work here? Vritra, you can take a break now.”

Vritra backed away, and Selen happily moved to stand next to Lloyd.

“You’re a god, Lloyd!” Vritra whispered, trembling with gratitude.

“You’re really fired up about this, Lloyd,” Riho observed. “Any reason why?”

“Oh,” Lloyd said bashfully. “I just heard the Jiou Empire did something awful while I was running late to the exhibition match. But Allan and Marie took care of it! As a soldier, I wish I’d been there to help…but all I could do was clean up those pinworms. So I wanted to make up for it by helping here!”

He was a huge help, but Lloyd’s self-evaluations remained permanently low.

Riho shook her head, but Lloyd looked so serious, she couldn’t bring herself to say another word. “Well, that goes for all of us,” she managed.

A gang of older cadets came shuffling over to them.

“…………”

Micona was in the lead. She seemed fully recovered, in good health…and was glaring at the boy from Kunlun.

“M-Micona…” Lloyd sounded worried.

“I have something to say to you,” she growled. “First…thanks for saving me.”

She bowed low.

“And thanks for reminding me how important companions are. On my own, I accomplished absolutely nothing.”

Lloyd’s group was shocked by this reversal.

He smiled, holding out his hand. “I’m not sure what that means, but here’s to working with you in the future.”

Micona did not take his hand. Instead, she struck a dramatic pose—which caused quite a bit of jiggle.

“But now! My main point! You’ll regret teaching me the importance of friendship! My group originally assembled because we were all extremely competitive! And now we’re closer than ever! We’re guaranteed to get more acclaim than you ever will! Bow your heads! And one more thing, Lloyd Belladonna!”

“Yes?”

“I will never lose to you. We are rivals till the bitter end—the day I win!”

“…Okay!”

Lloyd smiled happily, and Micona flashed a triumphant grin.

“What say we have a competition here? Second-years versus first-years! Which team can construct the most temporary housing? We’ve as good as won this already!”

“Oh?”

“With my Godspeed heightening our abilities and our newfound unity, it’s like we were born to build! A necessary skill for any soldier!”

Maybe if they were talking about digging trenches and making camp.

Micona was oblivious to the disconnect.

“You all have your talents, but your talent for slacking off has sunk in deep, like a sweat stain on your collar. You can never hope to match our pace! Today, or any other!”

At this point, Micona pulled a white cloth out of her pocket and wiped the sweat from her brow.

The pair of Marie’s (ostensibly) panties that Riho had given her. Despite the brainwashing, she seemed to have remembered exactly what those were and was making sure they never left her side.

“…I can never tell her the truth.”

If Micona found out those panties were Riho’s, her life would be forfeit.

Seeing Riho’s anxious look, Micona grinned. “You realize the position you’re in, then, Riho Flavin?”

“Yeah, but I suspect we’re thinking very different things.”

At this point, Phyllo appeared behind them, hauling lumber in both hands.

“……Then Master wins this competition,” she declared.

“What do you mean?” Micona snapped. “I’ve had enough of your delusions.”

“…Master gathered all the lumber and rock here. He felled cedar and beech trees this morning and fetched the rock from the quarry.”

Micona looked at Lloyd.

“Oh, it’s not a big deal, really.” He seemed sheepish. “Unlike treants, cedars and beeches don’t fight back, and I just helped carry the rocks. That’s the least I could do!”

Micona appeared to have frozen to the spot.

After a long silence, she managed a confident smile.

“Well, it seems you’ve won the warm-up match, but the real battle starts here! Just you wait! Retreat!”

With that, the entire group turned and ran away.

“Well, she hasn’t changed…”

“………Mm.”

Riho and Phyllo both shook their heads.

Then a cheer went up from nearby. It seemed the king had arrived for an inspection.

“Hello! How are things progressing?”

Despite the threat from Jiou, the king had stood his ground, remaining resolute—and word of this had spread through the armed forces, dramatically increasing their faith in him.

A series of proclamations had followed that prioritized the safety of his citizens.

“To avoid war, we must ally with other countries to stand against Jiou.

“We will do everything in our power to keep the burden of this from affecting your lives.”

It was a far cry from his frightening demeanor while a demon lord had possessed him.

“Thank you, one and all. I know this is hard work, but I believe this is the best option to avoid the chaos and crime that too often go hand in hand with refugee scenarios. I imagine this will be but the first of many trials in the months to come, but rest assured, we are utilizing your labor for the peace of Azami!”

He still had a bit of a tendency to lean into the jargon, but this much they could overlook.

Now he was pushing someone else to the fore.

With such force that he almost tripped—Allan, looking very uncomfortable.

“Huh? Ah!”

“And even if we do find ourselves at war, we’ve got Allan and his compatriots on our side!”

Allan stared out at the crowd with fear in his eyes. “Um, compatriots?”

This, of course, referred to the Kunlun villagers. Their arrival at the stadium was now officially Allan’s doing.

“No need for modesty! Your strength is the strength of those you lead. Be proud!”

“No, no, no, no, I don’t even know those people! C-Colonel Chrome! You know I’m not that strong, so why is this still happening?!”

Chrome gave him a pat on the back, shaking his head.

“Explanations are far too hard. I swallowed that porcupine fish.”

“You did?!”

“Well, I skinned it, gutted it, stewed it in miso, and chewed it thoroughly…”

“That’s no different from ordinary food!”

If you remove the needles, the skin is actually edible, even tasty! But he had kept his word, even asking the fishmongers how to prepare it so…anything to avoid having to explain that the village from children’s stories really existed.

“You’re just being lazy! I-Instructor Merthophan, you tell him!”

Merthophan and Choline were standing next to Chrome. Merthophan had saved the king and been given his old job back.

He simply shook his head. “Allan, I am no instructor.”

“Huh? Then what…?”

“I am a special teaching liaison from the Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry, and Fisheries. Hey, make sure you get that pavement even! Rice needs to breathe!”

It seemed he had not resumed his old teaching job, but instead become some sort of military intermediary. He was now supervising the grain warehouse construction with the same ferocity he had once put cadets through their drills.

“…I’ll use what I’ve learned farming, pay the villagers back one day—and turn Azami into the world’s leader in agriculture!”

Can’t fault him for ambition.

Meanwhile, Choline was clutching her head.

“Why did I ever fall for this guy?”

Next to her was Rol—in an Azami military uniform.

“You had awful taste back in school, too!” She smirked.

“Shut up! Rol, I got you this job! You keep it if I say so! Remember that!”

“Scaaaary. You’d have only yourself to blame for missing out on my skills.”

“For bribery?! You’re a snake!”

“I said from the start I was here to do what you can’t do! Nitwit.”

Mena stepped in to settle them down.

“Now, now, finish this up in court; you can definitely win there.”

That was less settling them down than adding fuel to the fire. Having her former boss working under her seemed to tickle her pink.

“I see the uniforms haven’t changed anyone…,” Riho said. When she smiled at her almost sister, there was a touch of the child she’d once been.

“Yup! Merthophan was all, ‘I shall be a farming evangelist! And all the wheat and rice raising I’d foisted off on him are all my job again.’”

“Eep, Chief Alka?”

“’Sup, kiddos. Lloyd doing well?”

Twin tails bouncing, Alka went flouncing over to Lloyd.

Selen hissed at her like an angry cat. “What do you want?!”

“Just taking a breather!” Alka glanced out toward the surface of the ocean. Marie was floating out there, looking like she’d come to settle a grudge left over from the Kunlun visit.

“A breather? Looks more like she’s not breathing!”

“What are you doing, Chief?!”

Lloyd sprang into action, pulling Marie out… In the processes he ran on water, but everyone was past caring about these trifles.

“Are you okay, Marie?”

“Oh, Lloyd! I must be in heaven…”

“You aren’t! Stay with us!”

“Lloyd, in my final moments…I should tell you I’m really the princess…”

“Don’t be ridiculous! You’re not a princess! The princess would never live on canned food when I’m not around!”

Her very being refuted, Marie went limp.

“Oh, dear! I think she’s delusional!”

He finished her with a death blow.

Lloyd made up his mind. This called for drastic measures.

“I have no choice…I’ll have to give her mouth-to-mouth!”

Some phrases are basically bombs.

“““Stooooooop!!””” all three girls yelled as one.

Lloyd flinched. “Er, why?”

Selen made a beeline for him, trying to peel Marie out of his arms.

“Sir Lloyd, this is madness!”

“S-Selen? Do you want to give her mouth-to-mouth?”

“No! I absolutely don’t!”

She stopped pulling and let go. Marie had been all stretched out, but now she snapped back to her original shape, groaning.

“…Let Riho handle it. I’ll take care of yours, Master.”

“Why?!”

“I wanna get Lloyd’s mouth-to-mouth!” Alka yelled. “I’m drowning in love! Oh, that was actually pretty clever.”

Micona came racing in from very far away, scowling. “Mooooooooo-oooooooooooooouth-to-mouth!!!!!”

“Didn’t you just finish running away?!”

Riho was really on her comeback game today.

The king was absently watching over all of this. “Allan,” he said, “could you call those underlings and have them settle things down here?”

“I…I don’t think anyone could solve this mess, not even the heroes of legend.”

Nothing could stand in the way of the war for Lloyd’s lips.

It was like asking someone to settle a battle between lions over a single serving of meat.

One such lion was inches from stealing Lloyd’s lips.

“Just you watch, Eug! Sou! Shouma! I won’t let anyone ruin my fun! I’m gonna keep this world intact and control the Last Dungeon that way!”

Alka’s words were lost amid the chaos. This group cared more about Lloyd’s chastity than they ever would a threat to the world itself.