Chapter 1

An Inspiring Saga: Suppose a Kid from the Boonies Yearned to Be a Star

In the palace archive at the heart of Azami’s Central District sat a young girl in the window frame, gazing into the distance.

She wore a white robe and was kicking her little feet, making her pigtails swing.

The room was so high up you could see the whole city, but a fall would surely prove fatal. Any other child would be quickly pulled off the sill and scolded, but this one required no such care.

Her name was Alka. She was the chief of the village at the end of the world, Kunlun. She looked to be around nine years old but was well over a hundred, and she was so powerful, she could defeat a dragon with her pinkie.

Recent events had made her power unstable and difficult to control, but she remained a superpowered kid grandma. Easily one of the most powerful people in the world. So dangerous that if you attempted to scold her, she might scold you back—and turn you to ash. Be very careful around her.

Currently, she was making the shape of a telescope with her hands and staring at the northern half of the kingdom.

The North Side was the gateway to Azami, lined with hotels and expensive restaurants, weapon and armor shops, and all manner of entertainment—a real tourist trap.

Alka’s eyes were locked on one boy, observing him and his companions.

This boy was the apple of Alka’s eye, Lloyd Belladonna. He came from the same village and was now a cadet in the Azami military, as were the girls with him.

“Mwa-ha-ha.”

Observing might be too generous. Peeping was more like it… She was a weird one.

“Master, what are you doing?”

The speaker wore a pointy black hat and a robe of the same color festooned with elaborate decorative touches. Clearly, she was a witch. Her name was Marie, and she was busy tapping the dust off a book.

“Mm? Making sure Lloyd is safe and savoring every inch of his body, obviously. Like a lifeguard at the pool! Ready to give mouth-to-mouth the moment the need arises.”

A public apology to all lifeguards on her behalf: Please don’t take anything a kid grandma says seriously. She’s drowning in the seas of love, sinking rapidly into those murky depths. Just let her be.

“Not what lifeguards do! You make him run an errand for you and— Bweh-choo!”

The dust on the book made Marie sneeze violently mid-reprimand…largely undermining her point.

Alka looked at Marie the way you would a sad old man.

“Who sneezes like that?! You’re a princess! Go for an elegant little pssht.”

“Royalty sneeze like everyone else! And whose fault is it I’m— Bwah-choo!”

Marie’s real name was Maria Azami, the actual princess of this entire kingdom. Currently, she lived on the East Side, calling herself Marie the Witch.

The reasons for this were long and complicated. She’d been avoiding governmental tensions, fleeing the threat of a political marriage… The latter wouldn’t remain a threat if anyone saw how much snot she had on her face now.

Alka ignored her completely, too busy feasting her eyes on the boy below.

“Ah, my Lloyd is always adorable! But what is he looking at? Marie, what’s that building?” Alka pointed at one of the newer structures.

“Oh, that’s the new motion picture palace they just built.”

“Motion pictures?”

“Yeah. They also call them movies? It’s a brand-new form of entertainment they invented out in Rokujou. Apparently, if you show a bunch of photographs in a row, it looks like they’re moving. They made this one called Rokujou Holiday, and the star of it, Amidine Oxo, is suddenly world-famous—”

As Marie gushed, Alka started to frown.

“Movies? At this level of technology? Dr. Eug’s gotta be behind it.”

Dr. Eug. Like Alka, she was immortal. Her goal was to increase the technological sophistication of this fantasy world, creating a hybrid of magic and science.

…That sounded like a good thing, but the way she was going about it was all wrong.

Specifically, she planned to use the demon lords to place the world in peril, making mankind desperate enough to accept weapons and technology that were entirely out of place in this fantasy setting. A drowning man will clutch at straws, so if a nuclear-powered submarine passed by… Well, that was Eug’s argument anyway.

Her last plans had been squashed by others, but she’d fled to the Jiou Empire—which was already under the control of her allies—and had clearly already nocked a second arrow.

She was thorough, to say the least.

“I guess this was an insurance policy in case her last plan didn’t work?” Alka sighed. “So she had her fingers in Rokujou, too…”

Certainly, people tended to accept unknown technology and devices if they promised to be entertaining. Like learning how to operate a computer so you can play an adult game. Look, it’s just an example!

“She’s using entertainment to force society to progress and place herself in control of the world’s economies… That would take a long time, though. We’ve gotta assume she’s still trying to free the demon lords.”

“Uh, Master? What’s up?” Marie asked.

“Oh,” Alka said, emerging from her thoughts. “Sorry, sorry. You found what we’re looking for?”

Marie finished wiping her snot with a handkerchief and handed over the book, looking exhausted.

“Will this do?” she asked. “This is something you could never look at without my permission, so you could be a little grateful.”

“Thanks, thanks. If you die, I’ll light you a candle—no, three!”

“Planning on outliving me? …Geez.”

Alka snatched the book and started flipping through it.

The title on the cover was Fantastic Beasts and Treasure in Azami.

This was a compendium of investigations and reports on monster sightings and damages, as well as legendary equipment (known as artifacts) and cursed items. It wasn’t just verified data, but rumors, too.

You might wonder what was so special about it. National records were extremely detailed and not something just anyone could look at. For example, this report had a chart of a jewelry shop’s security cameras and safety measures, as well as data on their business rivals. This was a set of documents that would make poachers and enemy governments froth at the mouth.

Alka was whipping through the book so fast, it was hard to believe she was reading any of it.

“Hmm, I see, I see.”

“So why did you want to see this book anyway?”

“I’m looking for a beast that can replace Vritra as Kunlun’s guardian. With my powers in flux, life has been a pain. Was hoping there’d be some handy-dandy monster or demon lord out there that conveniently understood human words.”

“Huh…” Marie looked slightly stunned. Handy-dandy wasn’t often used as a descriptor for a demon lord. Especially delivered in the sort of tone an understaffed convenience store owner might use when hoping they’d find someone with a good personality willing to work the night shift.

“But Azami just has small fries… How peaceful! Rokujou’s got a few rare monsters… The Ascorbic Domain, huh? Gotta check these artifacts, too. Lots of those will hint at a demon lord’s location or might outright transform into one of those beasts.”

“Uh, really? I mean, I guess Selen’s cursed belt did turn out to be Vritra’s hide…”

“The cursed belt… Oh, that’s in here, too. Man, all I did was accidentally mix my apron in with the pasta dough, so seeing it get an article like this—it makes a lady blush.”

“You don’t even look remotely guilty… Wait, this one looks like it could be a clue to pin down a demon lord.” Marie pointed at a sketch of a basic-looking pendant.

“Oh! That’s the Saint’s Pendant. I remember that! This claims it can banish evil spirits.”

“You’re familiar with it?”

“Yep. I made it. Also, the banishing evil part is a load of hooey. If you spin the thing around, it’ll make a tornado and blow evil spirits away along with the person holding it, shop signs, houses, cows, sharks, you name it!”

Like a hurricane in a Hollywood movie.

“…What about that says ‘Saint’?”

This seemed a reasonable point, but Alka just looked proud.

“Well, I made it! And I’m a saint. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Why make something like that at all? Marie thought, but she decided it would be better to discuss a different artifact instead.

“What about this jewel…? Did you make it, too?”

The page called it the Jewel of Legions, and it was apparently red like blood.

“’Course not! What do you think I am, some sort of dwarf?”

“Whew.”

“That was made by the king of the dwarves…Eug. Uses the power of necromancy to let you stick evil spirits in anything, animate or inanimate! You can use it to summon the dead, create a zombie army… Greatest thing since sliced bread, she said.”

Since when could zombies be compared to bread?

“How hard is it to slice your own bread? No, never mind that—why would she make something that terrifying in the first place?”

“Don’t ask me! …Hmm… It doesn’t seem like you’ve got any artifacts to write home about. Even with my powers destabilized, I can still whip up a tornado or two with one hand tied behind my back.”

“You’re more demon lordish than most demon lords.”

“I agree! …Oh, this monster might make a decent guardian! It seems appropriately demon lordish.”

Alka held up a page. Marie didn’t really have a clue what qualified a monster for guardian status, so she glanced at it without much enthusiasm…

And the dust on the page made her sneeze again.

“Bwah-kah-choooooooooooooo!”

“Hey! The data! All that valuable intel buried in royal jelly!”

“I’m a princess, not a bee! And stop waving that dusty thing a— Chooo!”

“Augh! Royal jelly in my eeeeeyes!”

Marie’s spray had scored a direct hit. Alka fell over, clutching her eyes.

“Sorry…aughh! The documents!”

Fantastic Beasts and Treasure in Azami had gone flying out of Alka’s hand, out the window…and landed with a splash in the pond below.

“That’s really valuable, you know! What will I say if it’s gone for good?!”

“Well, whose fault is it?! Go fetch!”

“Go fetch? Do you know how many floors up we— Aughhhhhh!”

“Dive! Keep trying till you find it!”

Shoved out the window into the pond below, Marie ended up getting dunked, like a fisher’s trained cormorant.

The pages were soaked through and unreadable until they dried…so Kunlun would have to do without a guardian for a while longer.

A few hours after Marie’s successful cormoranting…

At Reiyoukaku, the luxury hotel near the Rokujou-Azami border…world leaders huddled in a room designed for successful merchants and government officials, concerned looks on every face.

The sign outside the room read COUNTERMEASURE CONFERENCE AGAINST THE JIOU EMPIRE, beautifully written by the hotel’s calligrapher.

Jiou was threatening war with Azami, backed by the power of the demon lords. Azami was now meeting with nearby heads of state to discuss what could be done.

“We have to assume they have total control of the Jiou Empire,” one woman said forcefully. She had a cloth slung over her shoulders kimono-style and a blade decorated with woven thread cradled in her arms.

This was the ruler of the Ascorbic Domain, Anzu Kyounin. She was a powerful figure who had worked her way to this position at quite a young age and seemed ready to accept a duel at any given second. She was clearly the “everyone’s big sister” type.

“Exactly. The Jiou Empire declared war and unleashed demon lord minions in Azami. I was there. It was unnerving, to say the least.”

Across from Anzu was the representative of the local lords, Threonine Toin Lidocaine. Having settled his long-standing feud with the Hemein family, he was keeping himself very busy ensuring all the local lords were on the same page. That was why he’d been invited here.

“There’s a flood of refugees pouring over the Jiou border into Azami with no signs of abating. We can only surmise that they’ve been taken over by a demon lord or the equivalent and have ceased to function as a government.”

This was the king of Azami, Luke Thistle Azami. Marie’s father, he was a man of mercy and dignity. Albeit somewhat prone to trying too hard.

“This place has an outdoor bath? I can’t wait to soak in those waters, staring up at the night sky.”

Next to Anzu was a mysterious individual dressed in a rabbitlike mascot costume. From the voice, you could just barely tell she was female.

She—and what she’d said—was so jarringly out of place that everyone elected to ignore her.

“Yes, and the Jiou monks fled to Azami as well, huh? That’s a blow to their anti-magic defenses and a sign their religious governance is in tatters, too. That makes it hard to see Jiou as much of a threat. We can strike them down in no time.”

Anzu gripped her sword tightly, looking ready to charge in right now.

“All that proves is their confidence in their trump card—the power of the demon lord. Having been controlled by it myself, I know just how fearsome it can be,” King Luke said, his voice tinged with regret. “We must proceed with caution.”

The bunny hopped in again. “They’ve got a sauna? One with mist? If only they had a cold bath as well!”

“I’m sorry,” Luke said. This was really disrupting the vibe. “Could you stop talking about baths?”

“You go from the sauna to the cold bath and back… Oh, sorry, I’ve been so busy lately, my autonomic nerves are out of whack.”

“Lady Eve, this is an important meeting. Try to take it seriously.”

“You got it!” She bowed apologetically…with all the overexaggeration of an amusement park mascot.

Eve Profen might have been wearing a crazy costume, but she was actually the ruler of Profen, a large country in the central region.

For generations, her family had been capable of conversing with animals and monsters, and they had used that talent to persuade or expel dangerous creatures, helping their country expand…and the costumes certainly made them memorable.

“The baths are one thing, but is that costume really necessary, Lady Eve?”

“Don’t be silly, Anzy. Infrared light is hell on the skin.”

Eve wore this outfit at all times. Nobody knew what she really looked like. She was an enigma to them all.

“We don’t have time for this.”

“Sorry, Anzy. But with everything that happened during the foundation-day festival in Azami, how can I dare show my face?!”

“You’re just looking for any old excuse!”

“Eh-heh-heh.”

Even as she chuckled, Eve gave the king of Azami a sidelong glance through the eyes of her costume.

“Mmph…” Luke made a face. During the festival in question, he’d been under the control of the demon lord Abaddon. If things had gone differently, he might well have been a threat to everyone here.

“Well, the weight loss has done wonders for you, so we’ll call it even,” Eve said, somehow managing to take a sip of water. Then she launched into her own interpretation of events. “I bet it’s just like with Lukester here, and the Jiou emperor is possessed. It might be better to attack at once, before he can get his pieces all lined up!”

“But with no idea what their plans are, we can’t afford to be rash,” Threonine argued, stroking his mustache. “We may well end up blowing valuable resources on nothing. And there are all kinds of demon lords…”

“Since when are you so chill, Threonon?”

“Lady Eve, please don’t call me that.”

They clearly had some history together. He spoke like he was dealing with an aunt who refused to stop babying him.

Anzu propped one elbow on the table, scowling. “So our main goal today is to get on the same page? You want to make sure we’re on board with a wait-and-see approach.”

“That, and to ensure we’re all on alert. To make certain none of you are tempted by the false promises of these dubious individuals, we’re sharing all the information we have.”

Eve took the packet he handed her, returning a blown kiss. “The man of the hour! The one who pretended to be the Jiou emperor! Nobody can properly describe him, it seems. Is this some sort of spell?”

Eve and Anzu read through the information. Then Anzu voiced a different question.

“By the way, about our absent guest… Is he late? Or sick?”

“I don’t think he’s sick. I don’t think Rokujou’s Dumb Dandy is capable of getting ill.”

At that exact moment, the doors to the room were flung open, and a man leaped in, striking a dramatic pose.

“Fear not! I am here!”

““““…………””””

This dumbfounding entrance earned him a series of silent glares.

Paying no heed to pity or scorn, the blond man flashed his pearly whites, maintaining his pose.

“…King Sardin.”

“Mm? Yes! It is I, the world-famous King Sardin!”

King Sardin Valyl-Tyrosine.

Ruler of Rokujou…he was certainly quite a character. One of those people who’s always at after-party levels of enthusiasm without the aid of any alcohol. Despite this, he was a highly effective politician. His reputation boiled down to “He’d be perfect if he wasn’t so cringe,” and the people and his own government tended to treat him with bemusement.

“Can I cut him?”

“Anzy, he is technically a king. It could start a war? I think Jiou is enough of a problem.”

Sardin just laughed off both the threat and the word technically. He must get both a lot.

“You were pretty late!” Luke scolded. “Did something come up?”

“Glad you asked!” Sardin beamed, pointing dramatically. He bent backward really far. “I’m late because I was fretting over the perfect pose! You must forgive me! Here, I have signed photos for everyone!”

Sardin dug these out of his pocket like business cards, but they were all photos of him striking stupid poses.

“Can I cut him and these photos?” Anzu asked, scowling at a photo of him shirtless.

“Anzy, make sure you do that when no one’s looking. We would have to try and stop you.”

…So she was totally fine with the actual death.

Once Sardin had given everyone a photograph, he flashed an even broader smile and threw out a thumbs-up.

“Ha-ha-ha! I jest, of course! There were many reasons! To name one, Rokujou is all about movies now! As the king, as the great Sardin, I have so much to do!”

“Hmm, those are quite popular in Azami as well,” Luke noted. “Rokujou Holiday did boffo box office.”

Sardin looked pleased to hear it. “Delightful! But this meeting is about Jiou, yes? Your basic ‘don’t make any careless moves and make sure we all stay in touch’ deal?”

The way he jumped straight to the point without breaking his smile made Anzu clutch her head. “That’s what I hate most about you,” she growled.

“You always were perceptive,” Threonine said.

Sardin looked bashful but failed to drop his pose.

“Oh, anyone would assume as much! So don’t you go attacking Jiou willy-nilly, Anzu! They might well do a number on you! We must all join hands and find the right moment to attack together!”

“I don’t need anyone holding my hand! Do a number on me, will they? Bring it. I’m ready to show the Ascorbic Domain’s true power anytime!”

“Mm? By the way…,” Sardin said, “when’s dinner? I’ve heard the food here is amazing!”

This seemed to infuriate Anzu even further, but they were interrupted by a soft voice. “Pardon me. Your meals are ready.”

This voice belonged a boy who clearly hadn’t grown into his uniform. He was pushing a cart of food, accompanied by the powerfully bald proprietor.

“Oh, was my late arrival delaying dinner? Let’s dig in!”

Sardin straightened his collar, tucked a napkin down his shirtfront, and was about to dive in…when there was a loud crash.

Anzu’s chair had fallen over. She was on her guard, hand on the hilt of her sword, looking ready to fight to the death.

“Hmm…” Next to her, Eve folded her arms, appraising the boy.

“What…? What’s going on?”

“It’s just the food, Anzu. What’s gotten into you?” Sardin asked.

Anzu ignored him, eyes trained on the boy, hackles raised.

Threonine waved her down. “Don’t worry, Anzu. He’s not your enemy.”

“You’re sure, Threonine? But…he’s incredibly strong…”

The proprietor winced, bowing his head. “I apologize for the late introduction,” he said. “My name is Coba Lamin, owner of this hotel. And this boy…”

Coba patted the kid on the back. The boy looked surprised, but he soon managed a gentle smile and bowed.

“Oh, right! I’m Lloyd Belladonna. I work part-time here, somedim—times.”

The boy tripped over his words a bit, and Anzu finally relaxed.

“Part-time? With that much strength radiating off him?”

“Anzy, you’re all in a lather! I know, I know. But do try and settle down.”

Even Eve sounded a bit tense.

Lloyd just looked perplexed. Anzu kept her eyes glued to his every move. This boy had unfathomable power…that didn’t seem to match his attitude.

“Are my instincts haywire? …I should test him.”

She pulled out a kodachi—a sword the size of her palm—and hid it beneath the table.

“Anzy!” Eve growled. Not a voice you expected from a fluffy bunny costume.

“Sorry, Eve,” Anzu said. She waited for Lloyd to approach.

“Thanks for waiting, everyone,” Lloyd announced. “Today, we have egg and fresh vegetable sandwiches!”

As he attempted to serve Anzu…she whipped the blade out, swinging it right at his forehead!

Just before it hit—clang! Rattle-rattle.

It went spinning across the floor, making an oddly comical noise.

“Mm?” Lloyd rubbed his uninjured forehead, wondering what had hit him.

“…Urp?” Anzu let out a strangled squeak.

Lloyd finished serving her.

“And this is a flavored coffee roasted with nuts.”

He was acting like a fly had bonked him on his head.

“No, no, no! Stop! Wait!” Anzy screeched.

Threonine and Coba both made faces like We used to react in the same way.

“I sympathize. Right, Coba?”

“Entirely, Threonine.”

They sure were friendly now. Both of them had seen up close what Lloyd could do.

Lloyd just looked flummoxed. “Er, is something wrong?”

“You bet there is! Explain yourself!”

“Um, Anzy? Settle down, please! You really need to choose your words wisely here!”

But, well, she’d thrown a knife at his head, and he was acting like nothing had happened, so this was her settled-down state.

Meanwhile, Lloyd was looking around, trying to figure out what was going on.

Then he spotted the blade on the floor. “Oh!” he exclaimed. “You dropped your silverware? Sorry, I should have noticed sooner!”

Lloyd bowed and then scooped up the knife.

“Silver…ware?”

“D-don’t worry! It’s our job to pick up any dropped utensils! Knives and forks! Right, Boss?”

“Mm, right you are, Lloyd.” Coba beamed like a proud uncle.

“I’ll get you a new knife right away… Huh? Did we always have knives like this?”

“That’s mine…and it’s not for eating. It’s a kodachi,” Anzu said, shaking her head.

“Oh!” Lloyd said, as if that explained it. “Sorry! I didn’t realize you brought your own knife! I’ll wipe it off for you, then!”

“It’s not a knife… Huh?”

Lloyd had pulled out a handkerchief with some sort of symbol stitched into it.

“…Are those ancient runes?!” Eve yelped.

“Sure takes you back, right, Coba?”

“That it does, Threonine.”

They sure were friendly now. (Reprise.)

Ancient runes—wisdom of yore. Well, Alka and Eug had invented them. Anyway, one of these was the disenchant rune, which Lloyd was currently using to wipe down Anzu’s sword.

“Here you go! Clean as a whistle!”

When he handed it back, it was so polished, she could see her face in it. She looked very tense.

“Like a master blacksmith…but it only took a second…”

Eve seemed to have frozen to the spot, too, like a stuffed animal.

“The disenchant rune… He just used it like it was nothing…”

“What’s gotten into you?” King Luke asked, smiling. “This boy is a cadet from Azami! I hear he helps out at this hotel in his off hours.”

“He’s…a soldier in Azami?” Anzu’s eyes never left Lloyd.

“Oh?” Sardin smirked. “Is this boy your type, Anzu?”

“Can’t you tell, King Sardin? …I suppose not. Some things can only be sensed after many battlefields.” Then she turned to King Luke, her eyes sparkling like an eager child’s. “Ruler of Azami! Can I have him?”

“Anzy, that’s pushing it.”

“Polishes blades like a master blacksmith? Possesses super strength? The Kyounin clan would love to have him!”

Slightly taken aback by Anzu’s forceful negotiation tactics, King Luke politely declined.

“I may be king, but the fate of any one citizen is not mine to decide. You’ll have to ask him.”

An extremely rational point of view. Rather than calming down, however, Anzu immediately wheeled around to face Lloyd, grabbing his hand with all the enthusiasm of a college club recruiter at the beginning of the school year.

“Lloyd, was it? Come to my country!”

“Er…I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m still in school.”

Anzu looked momentarily disappointed, but she instantly recovered, taking a firm grip on his shoulders.

“Then as soon as you graduate! Or sooner—any time you fancy a vacation! I’ll show you how great the Ascorbic Domain is! You’ll never want to leave!”

“She’s entirely forgotten that she rules the place…,” Threonine said, shaking his head.

“Well, that’s what’s good about her!” Sardin cried helpfully. “I sometimes forget, myself. Am I primarily the king or the kingdom’s greatest idol?”

Not very helpful, really. Always remember what your real job is, kids.

“Aha…so the reason you aren’t in a rush to deal with Jiou is because you have human capital like him?” Eve said, getting things back on track.

Luke nodded to Threonine, who gave Sardin a copy of the documents.

“Certainly, Your Majesty,” Threonine said. “King Sardin, this is the information we have on the people behind this incident…”

He soon had Sardin up to speed.

“…So be careful of anyone with no clear description.”

“I will be.” Sardin nodded gravely, still posing.

As their meal concluded, Eve cried out. “So the meeting’s a wrap? Then it’s finally bath time!”

She pulled out a bucket and a hand towel, dancing.

“Eve,” Anzu said. “They won’t let you in dressed like that.”

“Come on, Anzy! I’ll wash your back!”

“Take off the costume first! Don’t rush me! Well, boys, if any demon lords mess with you, I’ll be there to cut ’em down!”

Eve pushed Anzu through the door, headed for the outdoor bath.

“Yeesh.” Threonine brushed his mustache. “She may rule the Ascorbic Domain, but Anzu is still very young. Hopefully, Lady Eve of the Profen Kingdom will be a good teacher to her…”

“I believe she taught you, Threonine?”

“Yes, primarily in matters of trade… Back then, it was a cat suit. Now, if only she could fix your habit of arriving late, Sardin.”

Sardin just laughed off this bit of snark. “Mwa-ha-ha! I had a lot on my plate. That reminds me, King Azami…”

“Yes?”

“Jiou must have the citizens worried. Thus, I have a proposition.”

“…I’m all ears.”

“You see, my country is making a certain movie.”

“It is?”

“And the director is yours truly, Sardin Valyl-Tyrosine! With my world-class talents, we’re going to make an action spectacle: a tale of Rokujou soldiers crushing foul villains!”

“You’re…personally directing this? Um…” Luke seemed unsure where this was going.

Sardin suddenly leaned in close, whispering in his ear.

“Naturally, it is a pet project, but it will also sell the populace on the idea that our country is strong, and they are safe. Effective propaganda! And that’s where my proposition comes in.”

Sardin whipped out a proposal and handed it to Luke.

“And this is?”

“The plans for the film in question. Rather than have this be exclusively Rokujou’s production, I thought we could ask for assistance from Azami! We can put you in the closing credits and give you a special thanks!”

“Hmm,” Threonine said. “Demonstrating the bonds between our two countries, providing further solace to the people? With Jiou causing mounting tensions everywhere, that could be highly effective.”

Sardin was instantly all over him, warmly shaking his hand. “Exactly!” he boomed. “And with the focus on action, I’m looking for physically capable specimens. Sounds like Azami has a ready supply! Fine soldiers who would look great on film! Perhaps your son, Threonine?”

“Allan? Well, erm…he’s not much of an actor…”

“No matter! We know how to work around that. If he can handle the stunts, we’ll take care of the rest! No need to worry about the budget. Instead, we only ask that you promote the hell out of it! Here, have a photo of me—this is a secret bonus shot, not one of the six official releases! Are you in, or are you in?”

Sardin forcibly shoved a photo into King Luke’s pocket, but the ruler of Azami took the offer in stride.

“We’ll be happy to consider your proposal,” he replied.

Sardin whistled. A secretary appeared behind him.

“Your Majesty, the time…”

“Consider it well, King Azami,” Sardin said, looking momentarily serious. Then his good cheer returned. “Now, I must bid you adieu! Should you have trouble sleeping, just pretend that photo is me and hold me tight!”

Left in the wake of his storm, Luke and Threonine found the meeting room suddenly very quiet.

“Whew, quite a cast of characters, Your Majesty. Sardin was even more of a Dumb Dandy than his reputation suggests.”

Threonine glared down at the photo he’d received: NO. 5: SARDIN, HOTTER THAN THE SUN. Luke, meanwhile, was smiling warmly at his photo.

“He wasn’t always like that.”

“You’ve known him a long time?”

“Yes. He was a bright boy. Maria loved him when she was little. He only turned into this once his father passed.”

“I wonder what happened… Oh? Your Majesty?”

Threonine pointed at the photo Sardin had slipped into Luke’s pocket—SECRET: SARDIN’S BACK SPEAKS VOLUMES.

Oh? Was that a message scrawled in the margin? What did it say?

Luke examined it carefully.

“……Quite a secret,” he muttered.

He handed it to Threonine.

“—! This is dire news, indeed.”

“It seems Rokujou is already in Jiou’s hands.”

King Sardin had left a note on the photo describing Rokujou’s plight, begging for Azami’s assistance. It said that Rokujou had been taken over by sinister forces and requested that Azami send in powerful soldiers—disguised as extras for his new film.

“If he’s resorting to this…he must be under heavy scrutiny,” Threonine said.

Luke nodded gravely. “Let’s send him our finest soldiers and cadets. I do not wish to see anyone else suffer under the demon lords the way I did.”

“We’ll do everything we can, Your Majesty.”

They exchanged solemn nods.

A few days later, during a break between lectures at the Azami Military Academy…

While the room was filled with the hum of student chatter, one girl was quietly reading a book.

Beautiful blond hair, cute features…and a sinister belt at her hips. Frankly, the expression on her face was far more sinister than the belt. This was the Cursed Belt Princess, Selen Hemein.

“Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh…”

What was she up to now? She looked like a teenage boy who just opened the sealed pages at the center of a dirty magazine.

“What are you reading, Selen?” the girl behind her asked.

Black hair loosely bound at the back, narrow, beady eyes, and a mithril arm as bulky as her frame wasn’t. A former mercenary named Riho Flavin. She leaned forward, peering over Selen’s shoulder at the book-like thing in her hands.

“Oh, Riho! This is the pamphlet from that movie we all saw together.”

Selen held it up, showing her the cover: a photo of a young couple backed by a town filled with stone buildings, overlayed with the words Rokujou Holiday in a dramatic font.

“Yeah, you really liked that one…” Riho sounded less enthused.

“It was fabulous!” Selen cried, leaping to her feet. “Its reputation thoroughly deserved! A man and a woman of different backgrounds spending precious moments together, well aware it was not meant to last… Oh, if only I was on a date like that with the man I love!”

“So just looking at the pamphlet sends you off into a fantasy world, huh? I guess that’s kinda cute.”

It was almost a normal teenage girl thing to do.

“…Mm.” A tall, expressionless girl tugged at Riho’s sleeve.

“Huh? What’s up, Phyllo?”

This was Phyllo Quinone. Physically speaking, she was almost as capable as Lloyd, but she spoke little and emoted less.

“…Mm.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t clear it up. I can’t decode your mumbles like your sister does.”

“……There.” Phyllo pointed at the pamphlet. One of the actors’ faces had been pasted over with a photo of Lloyd. The boy’s gentle smile hovered awkwardly over a suave, elegant suit. They didn’t match at all, like some sort of creepy collage.

“Ugh… Ugh!” Riho had glanced toward the actress, and yup, her face was replaced with Selen’s.

Neither head matched the proportions of the body it was pasted onto, and every image of the male lead used the exact same picture of Lloyd, so the resulting pamphlet was a horrifying sight indeed.

“…No way she got permission to take his photo.”

“Yeah, no.”

Fantasies inspired by this nightmare pamphlet were definitely more Selen’s style.

Heedless of Riho and Phyllo’s qualms, Selen let out a blissful sigh.

“Art enriches the mind… Even Allan does good deeds occasionally.”

“What do you mean? I do good deeds all the time!”

Hearing his name, a big man came over to them.

He had the face of a fighter and a big ax at his hip. The son of a big-shot local lord, his name was Allan Toin Lidocaine.

Allan wasn’t exactly a wimp, but he was definitely the hard-luck type: One misunderstanding had somehow led to him being labeled the dragon slayer. Now people believed he could snap his fingers and summon the heroes of yore, which meant he had Azami’s most powerful military force under his command—in their minds.

In other words, this poor man was at the mercy of the rumor mill, but that did come with a few perks…like the free movie tickets they’d all used.

“…Can we get a free meal at a luxury restaurant next, please?” Phyllo requested.

“It’s not that easy! Stop rubbing your hands together.”

“Then fork over all your valuables, and I’ll eat off the proceeds,” Riho said.

“Is this a shakedown?!”

Possibly extortion.

As they teased Allan, Lloyd arrived. He’d been helping carry teaching materials. What a good boy. He put the pile on the podium and joined the group.

“What are we talking about?” he asked.

“Ah! Sir Lloyd!” Selen cried. “Allan’s going to get us all a free meal at the finest restaurant on the North Side.”

“Hey! Don’t feed him your lies!” Allan attempted to bodily block the flow of misinformation. Riho ignored him entirely, acting like the free meal was a given.

“We’ll set the date later,” she said, waving a hand. “Mostly we were talking about how good that movie was.”

At this, Lloyd’s cheeks flushed instantly. “It was good!” he agreed, smiling. “I’d never seen a movie before! The acting was amazing, but the…composition, was it? You can see their faces up close or a view of the whole town. But they make it so you can pick out movements even in the distance, and oh, it was so exciting!”

Lloyd clearly ran out of words to describe it. The girls all smiled fondly at him, like he was an excited child.

“…More free tickets, please.”

“Hngg, if Lloyd enjoys it that much, I’ll certainly be on the lookout. A student must aim to please their master.”

Lloyd had once rescued Allan, who had called him master ever since. Lloyd seemed to think this involved cooking instruction, however.

“Sorry I had to leave so quick afterward,” Lloyd apologized. “I’d have loved to bask in the afterglow with everyone…”

“No prob,” Riho said. “But what was that about?”

“Oh, I was asked to help serve at that hotel again in the evening. The king was there! I was so nervous.”

“That…same evening…huh…?”

The hotel in question was on the Rokujou border, a good half-day ride—on a very fast horse—from Azami.

“I’d been there before, so it only took an hour,” Lloyd explained cheerily.

This fresh reminder of Lloyd’s powers left everyone speechless.

Oblivious to that, Lloyd was talking about the movie again.

“The actors were so into their roles! Their emotions went straight to the heart!”

Phyllo nodded. “…I agree. When the actress left the castle to meet her mother, I was totally on her side.”

“Wow, that’s a surprise. You usually never think about anything but fighting,” Riho commented.

“………I’m also searching for my mother.”

“Oh?”

“…She’s missing.”

“Huh…”

That sound like a pretty big deal. No one was sure what to say. Quite a reason to sympathize with a movie character…

Realizing she’d dragged the entire room down, she attempted to fix it.

“…Don’t worry. She’s a powerful mercenary. She’s destroyed a few mobs in her time. I’m sure she’s still alive.”

“Y-yeah…you’ll find her!” Lloyd exclaimed. “If there’s any way I can help, just let me know!”

“…Master.”

Phyllo and Lloyd were staring at each other tenderly.

Selen moved like lightning, forcing her way between them—like a professional basketball player moving too fast to be captured on-screen.

“And all the stonework in Rokujou is amazing!” she screamed. “I bet that movie really drives tourism!”

“It’s a very different vibe from Azami. Going there would make you feel like an actor yourself!”

“I know! Eh-heh-heh. Sir Lloyd, we should go to Rokujou and reenact scenes from the movie!”

Selen was just asking for a date, but Lloyd was oblivious to that sort of thing.

“I don’t think I’m anywhere near as suave as that actor, though,” he said.

“That’s not true! You’re just acting shy because everyone’s watching.”

A generous interpretation.

Unaware of Selen’s heavy breathing, Lloyd was talking about movies again. “Part of me really wants to be in a movie now!”

“I just care about the moola,” Riho said. “How much do they pay actors?”

“……I could do an action scene.”

“I know!” Allan agreed. “Mowing down enemies right and left, spouting a badass one-liner!”

“Even just being an extra would be fun. But I suppose they wouldn’t want someone like me…,” Lloyd said.

“If you were the hero and there was a love scene, I would do anything to wrest control of the lead actress role!” Selen exclaimed.

As they talked like any kids would, Colonel Choline—their teacher—came in.

“What, you’re talking about movies?”

“You heard, Colonel Choline? Oh! I would love nothing better than to play Sir Lloyd’s lover! Show everyone our love on screens around the world!”

“Good luck with that.” Riho shrugged. “We’re just cadets! Forget love scenes—no one would even want us in a movie at all.”

But Choline’s response caught them all off guard.

“But Rokujou’s put out a casting call for extras from our military.”

““““What?!””””

“Seems like they’re using the production to advertise our alliance.”

““““What?!””””

“Anyone interested, just sign this form! And since I’m from the Rokujou Sorcery Academy, I’m in charge of recommendations. I’ll put in a good word for ya.”

““““What?!””””

The shock of all this had clearly obliterated their vocabularies.

Choline made them all sit down, then explained the casting news from the top.

“So Rokujou and Azami are gonna make a movie together. I mean, script and schedule are all up to them, so we’re just hopping on a movin’ train.”

This all sounded too good to be true.

“I get emphasizing our alliance as tensions rise with the Jiou Empire,” Riho said. “But why do they want rank amateurs in a movie?”

“Well, it’s an action movie,” Choline explained. “And a pretty spectacular one. So they need good people on the stunts. That’s why they’re borrowing us, since we’re used to getting banged up a bit.”

This made sense to everyone. Their daily training was so rough-and-tumble, it would leave them ready not only for action movie stunt work, but possibly horror film territory, too.

They needed solid individuals and solid numbers. Volunteers, basically.

There was a strong undercurrent of disappointment: This meant the odds of them getting plucked out of the lineup and put in a lead role were extremely low. Allan looked especially crestfallen.

“Well, I figured as much,” Riho declared, cleaning her ear. “Keeping labor costs down, huh?”

“Basically,” Choline admitted. “They’ve already cast the main roles, but the supporting cast get their share of juicy moments, lines, or set pieces.”

“…Oh?” Phyllo leaned forward. She wasn’t about to deliver any dialogue, but action? She had that covered.

“And keep this on the down low, but that Amidine dude from Rokujou Holiday? He’s the lead.”

“He is?! The biggest star in all of Rokujou?! From Rain Tomorrow and Heir to a Storm?! The Amidine?”

Allan was getting a bit carried away. He knew all those titles offhand? For all he pretended not to care, he sure was a bit of a fanboy… There’s one of those in every crowd.

“My!” Selen gasped. “The suave lead in that wonderful film?”

The same lead you pasted Lloyd’s face over, yes.

“Yup, so you may be extras this time, but you’ll be working with Rokujou’s biggest star, so who knows what doors that’ll open?” Choline said.

The wheels in Riho’s brain had started spinning.

“I could swipe his used dishes or trash… I bet that would fetch a pretty penny.”

Riho was already in sketchy agency producer mode.

“It’s free to join! You’ll be in Rokujou for about two weeks total.”

Choline handed out the stack of documents with all the details and then started the day’s lecture.

But with the possibility of getting spotted by Amidine himself and making their debut on the silver screen, no one paid her any attention. All were lost in their fantasies, getting way ahead of themselves.

As for our hero, Lloyd Belladonna…

“An action movie?” He sighed, staring at the document.

Lloyd has enlisted in the army hoping to be a soldier like the hero of his favorite novel.

That soldier had been strong, but always helped those around him. Lloyd spent most of his time trying to live up to that ideal.

To be more manly.

To be cool.

Lloyd might look good in an apron behind the counter of the cafeteria, and students and teachers alike loved to crack jokes about what a great wife he’d be—and frankly, he’d got a lot of that back home in Kunlun.

But his inability to shake off the good wife vibe was starting to bother him.

In the Central District after school…Lloyd allowed himself to vent those feelings to Selen, Riho, Phyllo and Allan on his way home.

“I’m trying to be a cool soldier, but…it just feels like I’m getting nowhere.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! You’re amazing, Lloyd! You’ve saved the country time and time again!”

Allan was specifically referring to the trouble with Jiou and the incident at the Reiyoukaku Hotel.

“Ah-ha-ha. Saved the country? Me? You’re too funny.”

Lloyd had, however, remained blissfully unaware of either. The idea that he was really weak was so permanently cemented in him that it was going to be hard to make him think otherwise.

When Allan proved unable to muster anything convincing, Selen took his place.

“Let me make this totally clear,” she said. “Sir Lloyd—you’re cool right now!”

That…was just another romantic confession, a calculated attempt to earn points with her crush by heaping praise upon him.

“Selen, Allan, you make a great comedy team.”

It was dismissed as another joke. Selen’s affections and aggressions both read as girl who leads everyone on in his mind.

“Team up with him…?” Selen hissed.

“Don’t look so horrified!” Allan scowled back at her. “I ain’t exactly thrilled to be lumped in with a crazy stalker.”

“Heh-heh-heh. The best teams are built from like minds!” Riho cackled. “Anyway, Lloyd, don’t worry about it.”

She gave him a pat on the shoulder. Phyllo did the same.

“…Yes. It’s the inside that counts.”

This didn’t seem to help much. “I’ll try,” he said. “Ah-ha-ha…I mean, ‘inside,’ I know I just have to keep working at it, but outside? I mean, I’m not getting any taller…”

“You’re eating properly, right?” Riho asked. “The kids from my orphanage are all shooting up now that they’ve got proper food.”

“Yes, I’m never picky. It just doesn’t help. I even make sure to drink a bottle of milk after my bath every night and always do my calisthenics.”

All the girls immediately pictured Lloyd in post-bath pajamas chugging milk and doing stretches…and every one of them thought, Adorable! None of them said this aloud, however. In his current frame of mind, that would only hurt his feelings.

“My fantasy repertoire has expanded!”

“…Just imagining it enriches the heart.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

Allan immediately shattered the image.

“Lloyd, I do the bath, milk, calisthenics thing, too! We’re the same!”

Now all the girls were picturing Lloyd in his pajamas and Allan with a towel around his waist (and not a full-size bath towel, just a tiny face cloth—the kind that gets a bit see-through when it’s wet), doing stretches that displayed loads of butt crack.

“…” Riho unleashed a wordless dropkick.

“Gah! What was that for?!”

“Oh, please! Why would you tell us that now?! You’re having us imagining all types of things!”

“Y-you mean you pictured me and Lloyd emerging from the bath togeth—”

CRACK.

Clean hit! A simple backhand slap from a mithril arm that made a very satisfying sound.

“’Ell, ’oyd, ’ere I ’o—”

“Allan, don’t talk with your dislocated jaw.”

“Hngg, gah!” Allan forced his jaw back in place, only shedding a few tears in the process. “Well, Lloyd, I’d better get going. If I’m gonna be in this movie, I figured I’d better stop by a bookstore and pick up a few books on acting!”

He then bowed way too low and was gone.

“He’s such a fanboy,” Riho grumbled.

“…You’d never know it looking at him.”

“I bet in his mind, he’s already a movie star with so many offers he doesn’t know what to do. Someone tell him to stop counting chickens.”

Coming from Selen—who spent most of her time imagining dates and marriage with Lloyd—this was rich. Riho and Phyllo glared at her.

They kept going up the gentle slope, soon reaching Marie’s shop, where Lloyd lived.

“See you at school tomorrow!”

“Yeah. Don’t worry too much, Lloyd.”

“Thanks, Riho.” He bowed and turned to enter the shop…

But no sooner had his fingers touched the knob than the door slammed open, and a pipsqueak of a grandma came barreling out, like a big dog that came racing toward the door before you could even say, “I’m home.” That was Alka.

“You’re back! Lloooooyd! It’s been too long! How you’ve grown!”

They’d seen each other three days ago. Alka was always like this.

“Ah-ha-ha, you’re here again, Chief?” Lloyd asked. “I haven’t grown at all.”

This last line sounded pretty gloomy. Alka had clearly touched a nerve.

Heedless of this—to be honest, the world’s most tactless kid grandma had never heeded anything in her life—Alka started pulling clothes out of a sack.

“As much as I love how mismatched that military uniform looks on you, sometimes we gotta play to your strengths! Back to basics! Frilly aprons, shorts and suspenders, a cute little beret! I just couldn’t wait to see that, so I brought them all here!”

Basics of what, exactly? Alka’s eyes had turned to hearts, and she never saw the dubious looks the other girls were giving her.

“So once again…I’m just cute.”

Lloyd would normally have laughed this off, but in his current mood, it was hitting him hard.

Figuring she should stop Alka obliviously breakdancing on a minefield, Selen whispered, “Chief Alka, now’s not the time…”

“What, Selen?! You want to see it, too?! Lloyd covered in adorable frills!”

Alka wasn’t listening.

“You, too, Selen? That’s a low blow,” Lloyd mumbled.

Framed for a crime she hadn’t committed, Selen looked furious. She snapped instructions to her cursed belt. “Vritra, bind her!”

“As you wish!”

Vritra was the guardian beast of Kunlun, currently possessing Selen’s belt. With a snap, the belt’s length coiled around Alka.

“Wha— Hey! What’s this for?” Alka struggled, but as she did, Marie appeared behind her.

“Master, no making scenes outside my shop! Oh, hello, everyone. Why is Lloyd so depressed? Was someone bullying him?”

“…Close enough,” Phyllo whispered.

Forcing Lloyd to wear a frilly apron in his current mood was basically the same thing.

Marie had lived with Lloyd long enough to pick up on his mood instantly—a far cry from the village chief.

“Oh, Marie. We’ll get you caught up on that front. Can we come in?”

“Uh, sure…”

“……And stay for dinner?”

Thus, the girls filled Marie in on current events while they ate.

The spread was magnificent. For a meal hastily thrown together for unexpected guests, the sheer variety on display definitely lived up to all those jokes back in Kunlun about what a great wife Lloyd would be…but better not bring that up now.

As they ate, the girls explained what had happened in class.

“We’re all gonna be extras in a movie they’re making in Rokujou,” Selen clarified.

“Oh? That sounds amazing!” Alka cried. “I can’t wait to see the costumes! Lloyd will totally be the sidekick, right? The world will know how adorable he is! Justice will be served! News will spread like wildfire— Mmph!”

As Alka jumped up and down, both feet on a land mine, the cursed belt tightened around her.

“Calm down, Master. So how does this connect to Lloyd’s mood?”

“……Well,” Phyllo said.

Please hold as they explain.

Meanwhile, Allan was at the bookstore.

“They do have books on acting! I’m basically a movie star already!”

You know how some people are satisfied just buying how-to books?

The explanation had concluded.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, Lloyd!”

A rare glimpse of the kid grandma prostrating herself. Marie’s eyes were wide open, searing this image into her mind.

Alka was apologizing for her own stupidity so hard, she couldn’t even get mad at Marie’s.

“Oh, don’t say that. You weren’t trying to be mean.”

Lloyd was in the kitchen, washing up…and wearing the frilly apron Alka had brought him. But…he wasn’t turning around, so they couldn’t see his face.

“Lloyd always looks you in your eyes when he speaks!” Riho cried, visibly worried. “If he’s acting like this…it’s not a good sign.”

It was like having someone who normally fills their texts with emojis suddenly sending you a curt note in plain text. You were instantly like, “Oh, crap, what did I do wrong?”

“He’s really in bad shape,” Marie said, making sure Alka could hear her. “You can hear it in his voice.”

Alka’s apologies kicked up a notch, reaching the level of bowed prayer.

It wasn’t clear if Lloyd registered any of this. For a long while, the only sound was the dishes clattering. Finally, he spoke again.

“After dinner, what was it? Shorts and suspenders? You want me to put those on, too?”

He sounded like he was just past caring.

A bead of sweat ran down Phyllo’s cheek.

“……I’ve never seen him like this.”

Lloyd made some tea, but the light in his eyes had gone out. He managed a listless smile.

“I know. Even as a movie extra, they’d never let me do any action. I’d just be part of a crowd, at best… Maybe forced into drag for a laugh.”

“D-don’t be silly!” Marie insisted. “The whole point of recruiting soldiers as extras is so you can do the action scenes! Stunts galore! So cheer up—Master, you say something.”

Alka had quit genuflecting and had her arms folded, thinking hard.

“I’ve got it!” she cried. She flashed a sinister grin, then did her best to look dignified. “Lloyd, I owe you an apology. I’ve always doted on you like a grandson, and sometimes I forget you’re no longer a cute little kid. Please forgive me.”

“R-right…”

Forcing a grandson into a frilly apron against his will was definitely bordering on criminal levels of “doting,” but putting that aside… Alka cleared her throat dramatically.

“However, an action movie? We have to admit that your height will place you at a disadvantage there. You may be an extra, but if you’re significantly shorter than the lead actor, the audience will wonder why—it could be distracting.”

“Master! Please, for once, take a hint! Ow!”

Alka’s hand had lashed out and slapped Marie mid-reprimand.

“…Butt out. I have a plan,” she hissed.

“This is something creepy again, isn’t— Hngg!”

This time Alka grabbed her nose. Marie freed herself, but that nose was staying red for a bit.

Meanwhile, Alka’s words had left Lloyd reeling in shock. He’d buried his face in his hands.

“I knew it…ugh…”

But Alka just kept piling on. “It’s an unwritten law! To do action, you must be tall, nimble, and coquettish!”

That last word was generally just used for women and had nothing to do with action. She was talking shit again.

The girls all felt like she must be going somewhere with this and watched carefully.

Alka patted Lloyd’s slumped shoulders with a very dubious grin.

“But, Lloyd,” she said, “I knew this might happen. So I developed a very special rune just for you.”

“Y-you knew this would happen?”

“That I did! So I invented the grow-up rune!”

Alka hit a dramatic pose so hard you could hear the Kabuki drummer hitting a beat. Everyone looked surprised.

“I don’t blame you for reacting like that. But just you wait.”

Alka dashed out the door and came back with a kitten. The mommy cat followed.

This kitten was maybe three months old and absolutely adorable…but Alka traced a rune on its side, charging it with magic.

“If I do this, even a tiny kitten will be… See for yourself.”

There was a hiss, and smoke poured off that kitten…and then the cat was every bit as big as its mother. The mommy cat looked surprised and started yowling.

“…The mom is worried.”

Alka dismissed Phyllo’s concerns.

“Don’t worry, it won’t stay like this… Any second now…”

The kitten was dashing around the room, startled…but soon enough, smoke billowed out once more, and it was kitten-sized again. The mommy cat looked relieved. She picked her kitten up by the scruff of its neck and carried it back outside.

“With my current magic control in flux, I can only maintain the rune for three days max.”

“R-runes can do that?” Lloyd seemed astonished.

Alka grinned like a con artist spotting an in. “Yes. I invented this just for you! And not because I wanted to dress up an adult version of Lloyd in a slick suit and make you pretend to work in a host club.”

“That’s definitely the reason.”

“Absolutely.”

“…Mm.”

The back half was just a criminal confession.

She was definitely gonna play dress-up doll with an older Lloyd and get drunk off the sight of it.

Lloyd usually instinctively deflected this kind of nefarious scheme, but in his current condition? It was a snap decision, like seeing an infomercial just after your vacuum cleaner broke.

“Please! Use that rune on me! Make me into a real man!”

“Those are the words I wanted to hear! Straight to the bedroom—!”

Alka attempted to dive into Lloyd’s chest like L—pin III, but Marie grabbed her collar. “Not what he meant!”

Lloyd blinked at them, baffled. “What other meaning is there?”

“It would take far too long to explain—I’ll have to demonstrate!”

When the kid grandma kept her harassment going, Marie started getting genuinely angry.

“Not happening! Just use the dumb rune! Argh!”

“All right, all right, hold your horses. I’m working on it…”

Dangling by her collar, Alka turned toward Lloyd, using the same rune she’d used on the kitten.

Smoke started pouring out of him.

Alka held out her bag of costumes.

“Use the outfit in here!” she said. “Otherwise, your clothes will start ripping and tearing, which totally works for me—in fact, bring it on!”

“Not happening, Master! Lloyd! Back room! Quick!”

“R-right… Yikes, growing pains just hit my knees!”

Still smoking, Lloyd grabbed the outfit and scampered into the back room.

A silence settled over the shop. The only sound was someone gulping.

Finally, there was a creak as the door opened.

Footsteps came down the hall, and…

“Th-thanks for waiting… Are you sure I don’t look weird?”

He was five feet, eleven inches. Around twenty years old.

Grown-up Lloyd Belladonna shifted uncomfortably in the clothing Alka had brought for him.

“Wow…”

“Wooow…”

“Woooooow!”

Marie, Selen, and Alka all applauded, cheering at the sight. He looked even better than they’d anticipated.

Riho’s eyes had never opened wider. Her thoughts had short-circuited, and she was just soaking in the view.

Phyllo patted her on the shoulder. “……Mm.”

She held out a hand for a shake.

Riho met her eyes, cheeks flushed, clearly overwhelmed. The two of them shook hands like businesspeople at the conclusion of a joint project, or two otaku realizing they have a waifu in common.

Cheers, applause, and handshakes… The vibe in Marie’s shop was like a space program after a successful rocket launch.

Lloyd was just fidgeting uncomfortably, nonplussed by the whole thing. But this behavior in his new grown-up hot guy look was…appealingly unexpected.

“Master! I’m sorry! When you were ranting on about how a broken stereotype can instantly make someone more attractive, I thought you were being ridiculous, but this one really gets me right here!”

“Glad you’re on board! Don’t ever call me ridiculous! But just this once, I’ll let you off the hook.”

Alka and Marie threw their arms around each other.

“Er, huh? What’s going on?” Lloyd said, sounding exactly like he always did.

This was so adorable that Selen was having trouble breathing. The noise from her throat was like the wind whistling through a crack in a window frame. Her expression was dangerously enraptured.

Even Alka, an experienced hunter of broken stereotypes, was struggling with the sight of a cool young guy acting like a flustered kid. Every fluid possible was pouring out of her face.

“Phoo…pho! Phoooooo! Pho!” she said in tones that would make even the most die-hard Vietnamese food fan cringe.

Lloyd took her hand.

“Um, Chief, thank you,” he said. “If I’m this tall, I can definitely be in an action movie! As a cool extra!”

Handsome Lloyd’s man-sized hands wrapped around Alka’s little ones.

“Pho…”

She basically died of heart failure.

Her body hit the floor, looking like she’d accomplished all her goals in life. And she wasn’t the first…

“Oh? Am I in heaven? What a lovely river!”

Selen was already dying nearby.

“You must not cross that river, Mistress!” Vritra cried.

Selen was thrashing like a fly just hit by bug spray (looking like she’d also accomplished all goals in life). Vritra was desperately calling her back from the shores of the river Styx.

Glancing at their corpses with a look that said, What’s got into them? Lloyd stepped over to Phyllo.

“Ah-ha-ha, I’m actually taller than you now! That’s new.”

He looked down at her with a gentle smile, moving his hand from the top of her head to compare their heights.

“It’s usually the other way around!”

Grown-up Lloyd’s mouth was at the same height as Phyllo’s.

Their breaths mixed together.

“Yes, usually-I’m-far-taller-so-anytime-I-fantasize-about-kissing-you-I-have-to-imagine-myself-bending-down-or-you-standing-on-your-tiptoes-struggling-to-keep-your-balance-but-this-is-something-that-had-never-once-occurred-to-me-ever-before-and-I-can’t-bear-it—!”

Phyllo…broke character.

This was almost certainly a new record for longest line she’d ever uttered. And she’d blurted out some very revealing facts.

“Uh, Phyllo? Come back to us…”

Words came streaming out of her as if she were a broken-down robot. Riho grabbed Phyllo’s shoulders and shook her.

“First the chief and Selen, now Phyllo? What’s gotten into everyone? Is there something wrong with me?” Lloyd asked.

The natural womanizer had shot three of them down.

“Nope, nothing wrong! It’s a huge success! Maybe too successful! What do we do, Marie? He’s too different! We can’t just claim he had a growth spurt!” Riho exclaimed.

Marie was clutching the last threads of her sanity, engaged in a desperate battle against Lloyd’s hotness. Her knees clattered.

“It’ll be fine, Riho! I have the authority to counterfeit any ID or paperwork we need!”

“Good job, Princess!” Riho shouted.

Lloyd was still blissfully unaware that Marie was the princess, so he just laughed.

“Good one, Riho! Marie’s not a princess. She’s the hero who saved the country from the shadows!”

He brushed his hair back as he spoke.

And when Marie saw that…

“Y-yeah…I’m free from all princess duties, free to be your princess alone…”

“Marie! You’ve gone off the deep end!”

Flames in her engine! A fourth plane down!

“Uh, Marie, what… Augh!”

Lloyd had taken a step closer, concerned, but his stride was longer than he anticipated, and he accidentally tripped over Selen’s face.

“Huh?”

Lloyd had avoided falling by throwing his arms around Riho.

“Whoops! Sorry, Riho. Kinda hard to walk with these extra inches. Uh…”

“……Ahhh.”

Yup, there goes the fifth.

Wrapped in his arms, a look of bliss on her face…Riho ascended into the column of light.

“Wh-what’s wrong with everyone?”

The shop remained a mortuary for the better part of an hour.