Chapter 4

A Jarring Plot Twist: Suppose a Tearjerker Ended with a B-Movie Comedy Punch Line

An hour after Amidine left…

A restless pall had settled over the set.

“Director, Amidine still isn’t back…and several crew members vanished with him.”

“Hmm… They were all veteran crew members Amidine personally hired. What’s going on here?”

Sardin was left clutching his head.

Amidine leaving was one thing, but taking a dozen crew members with him? This was delaying the shoot, and he was losing his mind trying to fix things.

“I’ve got Roy reading the script on standby, but…argh, and Mina hasn’t shown up, either! Why is this happening?!”

The cadets from Azami were hanging around, waiting for instructions.

“Mm? What are we waiting for? My soul is crying out for lighting!”

Allan was hefting a bounce board like he was lifting weights.

“Quit waving that around! You keep flashing light in my eyes. I think we’re waiting for Mina? Did she wake up?” Riho asked.

“…If Mina doesn’t show, someone else will have to take her part,” added Selen. “Gasp! Is God looking out for me?!”

No situation could ever make Selen change her essential Selen-ness.

“Don’t even joke about that, Selen Hemein. I just want to wrap filming up and go see Marie…”

Micona was much the same.

Then a stir ran over the set.

“What, is Amidine back?”

A female crew member ran over to Sardin, out of breath. She shook her head. “Hah…hah…no, sir.”

“Then what?”

“Uh… We’ve got someone complaining, but I’m unsure why.”

Even as she spoke, they heard a loud voice bellowing like someone who’s had a few too many.

What? A drunk? Everyone turned to look…

“Wassa big deal? How long you gonna keep me waitin’?! Day after day and you never get in touch?! Huh?!”

An instructor from Azami Military Academy…Colonel Choline.

She’d been dispatched to Rokujou with secret orders and had been on standby at the inn this whole time, waiting for Sardin to contact her…which he never did. Being cooped up in her own hometown had worn her down…and now she was past the point of no return. Without the benefit of any alcohol, she was rolling up for a fight.

When her eyes locked onto Sardin, she made a beeline right for him, grabbing a fistful of his shirt.

“You! Sardin Valyl-Tyrosine, the Dumb Dandy! You asked us to bail you out, but you’re just sitting around filming your dumb movie?!”

“C-Colonel! Don’t say that so loud!”

“I’ll be as loud as I want! You asked us for a favor, but don’t ever bother getting in touch?! Why would I not shout?! ‘Please help! Rokujou’s in trouble! The Rising Blue Dragon’s after me!’”

“I contacted you! I spoke to Mr. Akizuki!”

“Don’t you lie to me! We don’t have any Akizukis!”

This situation was clearly a huge mess, but the cadets had been briefed on none of this, so they could only watch in horror.

Another stir ran through the set.

“Y-you’re—,” a crew member yelled. Everyone turned to look.

“Sorry, I need to talk to King Sardin.”

Mina was hanging on to Phyllo’s shoulder, pushing through the crowd.

“Your Majesty, I have urgent news…”

Before she could finish, Choline blocked her way, scowling.

“Do ya, pretty lady? Too bad! I’m busy talking to this Dumb Dandy! Butt out! Go on, get! I’ll win this lawsuit, trust…meeee…”

Phyllo had quietly put Choline in a sleeper hold. She passed out, still frowning, and crumpled like marionette that’s lost its strings.

“Uh, Phyllo? That’s a bit overboard.”

“……Emergency measures.”

“Emergency or not, you just knocked out a superior officer, Phyllo Quinone. And she looks very silly now! You’ve ruined her prospects of marriage for the foreseeable future!”

Micona smoothly added insult to injury. Even without waking up, tears formed in Choline’s eyes.

But Phyllo just whispered, “…This is an emergency. For Rokujou…and the two of us.”

“Us? You and Mina? When did you two get so close?”

“………Well, Mina’s my sister.”

“““Huh…?”””

Phyllo reached out and gave Mina’s hair a tug.

“Augh, Phyllo! I’m not ready for—”

The curly wig came off…of Mena’s head.

“““Ahhhhh!””” all the cadets from Azami yelped.

“Mena Quinone…what’s going on here?” Micona demanded.

Mena was at a total loss. No trace of her usual clowning.

“Argh, I’m not getting outta this one, am I? Fine, I’ll fill everybody in.”

Mena’s eyes became smiley—back to their default position—but she rarely sounded this serious.

“Sorry, it’s kind of a long story. King Sardin, you should hear it, too.”

“I’m listening.” Sardin looked from Mena to Phyllo and back again.

Mena took a deep breath…and dropped a huge bombshell.

“The boss of the Rising Blue Dragon…is Amidine Oxo.”

“What?!”

“I’ve been after them, too. And…”

Mena explained why she’d been disguised as Mina, investigating the mob, and just what evils she’d uncovered.

“Figuring Amidine was suspicious, I became an actress to get close to him.”

Choline woke up halfway through that line, heard Mena was an actress, and passed out again.

“But why didn’t you tell us?” Selen asked, sounding hurt. “I mean, I get that it’s a family problem, but…”

Mena scratched her cheek, looking guilty. “I didn’t want anyone knowing I was acting! Uh, Phyllo?”

Phyllo had leaned in very close, looking as expressionless as ever, but…there was a hint of sadness there.

“……If Mom’s involved…even if it’s dangerous…you should have let me know.”

Mena’s eyes went wide; then she winced. “Sorry. But if Mom turned out to be dead, I didn’t want to disappoint you…and if I failed…I thought it would hurt less if I just went missing.”

“But…!” Phyllo started to protest.

Riho grabbed her arm. “Put yourself in her shoes, Phyllo.”

Phyllo bit back her words. A grim look settled over her. “Is it true that Mom’s under a necromancer’s spell?”

“Yeah, and I wanna save her and thwart Amidine’s plans. I know it’s a bit late, but…will you help, Phyllo?”

“…Mm. No more acting alone. Let’s save Mom together.”

All friction between them gone, they put their hands together. Those who knew them smiled approvingly.

“I’ll help, too. In return, all I need’s an autograph from an up-and-coming actress,” Riho said.

“If you tell everyone you know how urgent it is they make a movie starring myself and Sir Lloyd, I’ll happily help,” Selen chimed in.

“No gaffer would ever let evil stand!” Allan shouted.

One of those was extra weird, but Mena ignored him, tears forming in her eyes.

“Thanks, guys… Oh! I almost forgot. Before Amidine took me away, there was someone who fell to his hand. Roy—poor Roy Akizuki.”

Mena choked back her tears—remembering his body lying on the bricks, his face burned off…and nothing she could do to save him.

Sadness overwhelmed her.

Behind her, grown-up Lloyd looked up from the script he’d been writing, and—oblivious to what was going on—joined the others.

“Oh, sorry, I was so focused on the script—what are we doing?”

“Howwwwwww?!”

The dead man himself appeared with all the breezy ease of a real star dropping in on a program of celebrity impersonators.

Mena let out a howl like someone who’s realized their seat belt isn’t fastened just as the roller-coaster crests the first hill.

In Roy’s form, Lloyd’s gentle smile never wavered.

“Hmm? Mina, you changed your hair? It looks good! Reminds me of someone…”

“Y-you’re alive?! He shot you at point-blank range with a bazooka! You were buried beneath a huge pile of rubble!”

Riho was starting to get the gist and figured it would save time if she just let Mena in on the trick.

“Uh, I think this’ll just explain everything, so—this is Lloyd.”

“Huh?”

“They have some rune that makes him look grown up. Figured it would be a good look for action scenes.”

Mena blinked a few times—but she was well aware that where Kunlun was concerned, anything was possible. Her brain processed it all pretty quickly.

“Oh, so you’re Lloyd. That explains—”

Then the rest of the memories caught up with her. A series of tender, romantic moments with Roy flashed before her eyes.

“Eeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“Er…you seem even more surprised?” Riho said, baffled. Then her eyes narrowed. “Did something happen? Oh no…you don’t mean…you didn’t know who he was, so…”

Before she could continue, Micona broke her silence. “Not another word, Riho Flavin!”

“What’s your problem, Micona? Some things are worth spelling out!”

“…She’ll hear.”

“Who’ll hear?”

Micona pulled open a manhole cover and used the treant power harbored within her to send roots down inside, dragging out…

“Dammit! I was just following that stupid grandma and got lost…”

Marie…covered head to foot in mud. Micona’s Marie meter had gone off, and she’d fished her up.

“Ahhh! Marieee! I never imagined I would meet you abroad! This is, you know, a sign from God that we should hold the ceremony here!”

“Vritra, bind her.”

“…That seems to be all I do lately.”

Once the belt had saved Marie’s chastity yet again, Lloyd ran up to her.

“M-Marie! Why are you here?”

“Oh, Lloyd…uh, well, Alka’s rage isn’t subsiding, and she’d been running all over the place all morning, and then she lost me in an underground cave, and I couldn’t find my way out and accidentally wandered into some weird mafia lair, and it was awful.”

“A weird mafia?!” Sardin yelped.

“Oh, the magic stone mines!” Mena exclaimed. “So they’ve been hiding underground…no wonder they’re so hard to find!”

“It seems we’ve not a moment to spare,” Sardin said with all the royal dignity he could muster. “Amidine has concealed his true nature for years…and if he’s revealed his hand now, then whatever he’s up to must be stopped at all costs! And then…Ubi will be…”

His voice dropped to a whisper at her name. But Mena and Phyllo heard him loud and clear.

“……Ubi? Why do you know Mom’s name?” Phyllo asked, tilting her head to the side.

“King Sardin,” Mena said, stepping closer, “I wanted to ask about that. What’s your relationship with our mother?”

“Er, um…”

“When she was trying to help me escape, she said to go to you. But what’s your connection to her?”

Sardin took a step back, fidgeting. Several expressions crossed his face: hesitation, sorrow, yearning.

It was clearly not something that could be explained in a word.

“Uh, Director? What exactly is going on here? Why is everyone so intense?”

“Oh, perfect timing, Roy! You see—”

Sardin turned to Lloyd, spying an escape. Mena’s and Phyllo’s glares stayed pinned to him, but he quickly began explaining Amidine’s misdeeds and how they had to stop him.

“Oh!” Lloyd cried. “I get it.”

He looked very serious. The fate of the country was on the line. The tension left a bead of sweat running down his brow.

“No need to stress it, mister,” Sardin assured him. “You and your friends will be fine. I’ll do all I can to help!”

“Y-you will?” Lloyd asked, surprised. Then he made up his mind and thumped his chest. “Very well! I’ll tackle this mission with body and soul!”

“Thank you, Mr. Akizu—”

“The script may have changed a lot, but as the lead actor, I’ve got to step up!”

“Er…script?”

Sardin blinked several times. Weird. This conversation wasn’t adding up. He gave Lloyd a long, searching look.

“I appreciate your concerns, but I think I get the gist! Amidine was actually playing the villain! But you tricked the whole cast and crew with a fake script! Setting up a shocking twist in the last reel!”

Given Lloyd’s conviction that all of this was part of the filmmaking process, one had to admire how flexible the inner workings of his mind were. He’d successfully incorporated everything that was happening around him.

“The king and the army, filming a movie in Rokujou! In the shadows, Amidine and the Rising Blue Dragon attempt to thwart the movie production! A script that keeps changing leads, and as we race to keep up, he laughs in the shadows—and we finish with a big-budget action scene! I never realized this movie would be a mockumentary action film!”

“Er, uh…it’s not a movie? You don’t need to act, mister.”

“Exactly! It’s not just a movie anymore! You’ve tricked us into acting out the scenes you needed and filmed them like a documentary! I don’t even need to act! I just need to be myself!”

As Sardin searched for an explanation, Choline clapped him on the shoulder.

“I’m the one here on royal degree, King Sardin. That kid…is just clueless.”

“C-clueless? Uh…but…”

“He must have assumed everything was part of the scene and done his best to play along. He’s such a good boy!”

As Sardin gaped at her, Lloyd put a hand in the air, speaking to everyone.

“Let’s get to work! I’m here for you!”

A cheer went up. Sardin’s head was still reeling, but…

“It’s a lot to take on board, Your Majesty,” Choline said. “But if you’ve got him on your team, you’ve won. He’ll solve everything. Don’t worry.”

“Then… Okay. If we can save Rokujou…and her…”

He made a face like he was working through some indigestion.

Mena and Phyllo were making the same face, still waiting for an answer.

“Seriously, what’s his angle?”

“…Mm.”

They had no way of knowing he was their father. Mena might have had an inkling, but her rational mind was busy telling her “No way.”

Meanwhile, in the sewers beneath Rokujou…

Remnants of peak magic stone mining operations visible all around, these tunnels were now used to transport both clean water into and waste water out of the city.

It was impossible to escape the stench of mold or the shrill squeaks of the rats… No one would want to be down here without good reason.

Yet, here stood a group sporting firearms, facing two very strange men.

The latter pair were Sou and Shouma, and the armed group were Rising Blue Dragon henchmen under Amidine’s command.

The mob was crackling with tension, but Sou and Shouma remained perfectly relaxed.

“You said you were here to give us an update on filming progress…but I gather plans have changed?” Sou intoned.

Amidine’s grin twitched angrily. “Oh, we’ll be showing you our progress, all right. Not the film, but the Rising Blue Dragon’s. Well? Thanks to your help, we’re a force to be reckoned with. Time to show them off.”

“I’m not interested,” Sou said.

“I’m assuming Lloyd taking over the lead role set you into some pathetic fit. You never were exactly mature,” Shouma added.

…No holds barred.

“To hell with you!” Amidine roared. He was really driven into a corner here. “I’m sick of being used! We’ve got all these weapons! We’ve got the trade routes! And I’m a famous movie star! What do I need you for?!”

He raised a hand. His minions took aim.

If he lowered his hand, Shouma and Sou would be riddled with holes.

Yet Sou never batted an eye.

“Hmm, I knew this would happen in time, but this is faster than I anticipated.”

“Yep.” Shouma nodded, his tone exactly like he was kicking back in a chain restaurant, chatting with friends. “We were hoping to have the demon lords plunge the world into chaos and have your evil organization try to take advantage of that only to be mercilessly demolished by Lloyd…but you got desperate way too fast. A real passion killer.”

“Tch…who the hell is Lloyd anyway?!” Amidine grumbled. Clearly, these two had anticipated this turn of events—but he didn’t let that get to him. “Heh-heh-heh… Well, you two never did make much sense. One less thing to worry about! You’ll die here, at the hands of my trump card. I left her alive to make Sardin do my bidding…but her daughter will fill that function just as well. She’ll be here soon. Poor thing—she’s no longer human.”

Muttering to himself, Amidine glanced toward the sewer depths.

Sou, Shouma, and his minions all followed his gaze…

“Ooo…ooo…ooo…ooo……”

A hair-raising wail emerged from the darkness, sounding like a harmonica made of human throats.

The minions let out a series of small shrieks, and then…

Rows of humanoid faces appeared, constructed from dirt and sand, a pale blond woman—Ubi—at the center.

“Augh! Stay away!” One of the minions turned and fired at them—but the face he shot swallowed him whole.

“Tch, that fool,” Amidine spat. “Well, it made for a decent demonstration.”

“B-Boss?”

“Mwa-ha-ha! I took what you gave me, put the kingdom’s finest minds on it, and turned it into a weapon of this magnitude!” He sounded like a child bragging about a favorite toy. “You saw what happened to my man? You’ll soon share his fate!”

Neither opponent seemed the least bit perturbed.

“Oh, the Legions thing? I see you’re using her as your core and forcing spirits into inanimate objects! Well worth giving you the jewel, then.”

“Yeah, they’ll be great villains for Lloyd to foil! Hard to look dashing when you’re fighting literal dirt, though.”

“Who the hell is Lloyd?!” Amidine roared. “Get them! Minions! Fire! Kill these two idiots!”

There was a hail of gunfire.

A cloud of dirt went up where the pair had stood.

A voice emerged from the debris. “What now, Sou?”

“…It seems he’s here. We must hide and capture his heroics with this handy camera.”

“Oh, you’re right! Cool, cool. The more footage we have, the better! Such a passionate twist!”

“They oughtta be in pieces… Where are they?!”

Before Amidine could locate them, another voice rang out.

“Stop right there!”

“Huh? What now?!”

Amidine and his men swung around…and found Lloyd standing in the sewer tunnels behind them.

“I, Roy Akizuki, will not allow the villainy of the Rising Blue Dragon to continue a moment longer!”

“Y-you’re…but why are you here?” Amidine yelped.

Lloyd folded his arms, legs planted firmly apart. “Heh…I need not answer to villains! Come! You have the wight to wemain silent! Argh, I blew the line!”

“……Huh?”

“Oh, sorry. Argh, I can’t say sorry here! Um! Let me come in again. I hope we can edit this part out…”

Convinced he’d broken character and ruined the scene, Lloyd bowed low and raced back the way he’d come.

Between the dramatic but cheesy entrance and the display of much more convincing humility, the mob was left with their mouths hanging open.

“Boss…he’s back again. What now?”

“Don’t ask me! He never tires of mocking us, clearly,” Amidine snarled, grinding his teeth.

Completely oblivious to this, Lloyd came bounding out of the sewer depths again.

“Stop right there!”

“We’re not even moving! And you said that already!”

“I, Roy Akizuki, will not allow the villainy of the Rising Blue Dragon to continue a moment longer!”

He struck the exact same pose. Amidine looked ready to explode.

“You did this already! It’s the exact same thing!” he shrieked, a vein on his forehead throbbing.

“Er, oh, sorry—let me try a different one!” Lloyd assumed he’d flubbed the take and tried to run off set again.

“No, no, no, no! Where are you going?! Oh, there’s more of them…”

Sardin, Mena, and the Azami military forces caught up with Lloyd.

“Hey, Amidine!” Sardin growled. “It’s all out in the open now. You’re gonna answer for your crimes!”

Amidine just looked relieved that somebody sensible had arrived. Despite being caught red-handed, he cried out happily, “You finally figured it out, Dumb Dandy? And arrived just in time to die at—!”

“Sorry, Director, I blew a line; then he didn’t like my second entrance. I’d like to start over from the top, but…can you tell me where the cameras are? I want to make sure I’m not flashing too much of my butt.”

Amidine was left flapping his lips uselessly.

“Er, um. You were fine! We can edit around it. Don’t, uh…worry about the cameras,” Sardin stammered. He clearly decided explaining wasn’t worth the effort.

Lloyd nodded gravely and bowed his head again.

“Sorry I keep causing trouble! I get it, you’re deliberately hiding the cameras to elicit a more natural performance! Of course that’s not what I should be thinking about. Give my apologies to the editor later.”

“S-sure,” Sardin replied, not sure what else to do.

As this was going on, Mena and Phyllo caught sight of Ubi’s current condition.

“M-Mom!”

“………! …This is necromancy.”

The countless faces made from grime and dirt shocked everybody.

“That’s…even worse than the stuff Rol was using.” Choline shuddered.

“Gross,” Riho snapped.

“Wow, even the producer is covered with mud and joining the scene! I’ve gotta match her enthusiasm!” Lloyd said, ever the odd man out.

Micona looked Ubi over carefully. “They’re using this Ubi woman as a core to maintain the spectral faces. In my experience, we’ll have to target her to resolve this.”

“And there’s this crowd of ruffians wielding strange guns… This won’t be easy.”

“Ha, never thought I’d hear defeatist talk from you, Belt Princess! Remember, you’re a gaffer now! Between us and Lloyd, this’ll be over in no time!”

“I completely agree with the Sir Lloyd part, but I never consented to joining your gaffing squad.” Selen gave Allan and his bounce board a glare.

“Whatever,” Riho said. “We’ve just gotta get rid of them and their dirty ghouls and get the Quinone sisters’ mom to safety! Lloyd!” She shot a thumbs-up at him. “This is the action scene you’ve been waiting for! Show ’em what you can do!”

“Er, I can just improvise the whole thing? Director?”

“Go ahead! I’ll take responsibility! Just…save Ubi!”

With Sardin’s permission, Lloyd looked ready to go.

“All right! Rising Blue Dragon! These sewers will be your graves! Come on, guys! Let’s save Ubi!”

And with that, the crowd of Azami soldiers surged forward, assaulting the mob.

“Come on and try us! Men! Kill them all! Or I’ll feed you to the ghouls!”

That sounded like a serious threat. The mobsters quickly raised their guns.

Before they could pull the triggers…wind erupted from Lloyd’s hand.

“Aero!”

The gust was strong enough to change the atmospheric pressure in this confined space. Half the firing squad was sent flying.

“Huh? Wahhhh!” Amidine shrieked, seeing his minions tumbling away. Before he’d even finished shouting, another batch of underlings was assaulted by tree roots, and he let out another shriek.

“Come on, second-years! We can’t let Lloyd Belladonna hog all the limelight!”

Micona had clearly achieved full control over the treant power within her. Much like Selen, this stalker sure was willing to give up on being human.

With the treant roots taking the mobsters out of commission, Micona boasted, “Ha! They never stood a chance before the righteous might of the Azami army!”

“Micona, maybe don’t claim to be righteous when using the power of a demon lord. It’s hard to tell which of you is the real monster here…”

Even as Selen spoke, she was busy strangling several minions with her cursed belt.

…Which didn’t, in fact, make her any better.

Riho was too busy to yell at either of them. She was using her mithril arm to knock aside the ghouls surrounding Ubi.

“Mena! Phyllo!” she yelled. “We’re taking out the mobsters and the ghouls first! Then you two grab Ubi!”

“Got it!”

“Mm!”

Working in perfect sync, they started tearing through the dirt ghouls.

A few minutes later—well, faced with the combined might of the Azami forces, neither ghouls nor the mafia ever stood a chance.

“Yeesh, remind me never to go to war with Azami… Right, Amidine?” Sardin said with a confident grin.

Amidine remained sullenly silent.

“It’s all over, Amidine. Give me back my wife and surrender.”

“Over? How? Nothing’s over! You’re an ignorant fool, Sardin. This is where necromancy begins!”

With a diabolical, teeth-baring grin, Amidine pulled an ominous jewel from his pocket and began performing some sort of rite with it. A moment later, the fallen mobsters staggered to their feet, eyes hollow. The scattered piles of dirt re-formed, becoming hideous faces once more.

“Wha?”

“Surprised? Of course you are! I wiped the slate clean! This is the power of necromancy! The real ace up my sleeve!”

The jewel in Amidine’s hand gleamed with a sinister light, and Ubi writhed in agony.

“Gah…guhh…”

The dirt devils, grim ghouls, and mafia mobsters clustered around Ubi, merging into one giant form.

“What is this gross thing?”

“Shocking, yes? This is the true power of the Jewel of Legions! Countless spirits melded into one hideous creature! Not something anyone can easily best!”

“…Hahh!”

Phyllo kicked it as hard as she could, sending several clods of clay and a few minions flying, but they were soon back in place. Some of the men were still conscious, possessed by spirits. Those she kicked wailed, “It hurts, it hurts!” and dug themselves deeper inside the mass.

“I can blow them all away with my spell!” Lloyd said, raising a hand.

“Don’t, Lloyd!” Choline yelped. “With your power, you’ll hurt Ubi, too!”

“I—I will?”

Even as they spoke, the ghoul golem was on the move, swallowing Azami soldiers in its path.

“Ack! Colonel Choline! We need a plan!” Micona called, dragging companions to safety with her roots.

Choline ran over everything Rol had told her about her necromancy research, trying to think of something.

“Right, sunlight! Rol was all smug about it! Said the spirits lose power if you bathe them in sunlight…but…”

They were in the sewers. Magic stones provided light, but that definitely didn’t count.

“Too bad! Maybe if you opened a hole in the ceiling? But there’s no way you ever could! The dirt monster will swallow you all! Prepare to die, Azami soldiers!”

Amidine grinned, confident their plan was impossible—without realizing he’d just given them the hint they needed.

Choline shot him a huge grin. “Aha!” she exclaimed. “Great idea! We’ll go with that! Lloyd, bust a hole in the roof!”

Lloyd nodded like this made perfect sense. “Oh! That would be a dramatic scene! You’ve got it!”

“Huh?” Amidine gaped at him.

Lloyd rocketed toward the ceiling.

“Hup!” he yelled and kicked the ceiling as hard as he could. A very loud thud rocked the sewers.

A moment later, cracks appeared in the ceiling—and light poured through.

“All right! Micona, use your roots to keep the entire roof from caving in!”

Micona set her roots to shoring up the rafters…and the collapse was curtailed. They’d managed to avoid being buried alive, at least.

“Are you a total idiot?! You almost killed all of us!” Riho screamed.

“Settle down,” Choline said. “We got the sunlight, right? Not the brightest, but…”

The ghoul golem was visibly recoiling from the light, terrified. Amidine was clearly rattled by this.

“Tch…but…a little sunlight won’t be enough! It can just move to the back! I still have the advantage!

Amidine held the Jewel of Legions aloft, moving the beast.

“Bounce board brigade! V-Formation!”

At Allan’s cry, his team formed ranks, redirecting the light and focusing it all on the ghoul golem.

“Wh-what?! Bounce boards?!”

Allan grinned. Their reflective boards kept the undead legions bathed in sunlight.

“Our boards are more than enough to handle this light! Keep it in the sun! We! We are the light!”

“““Yes! Lights!”””

Whatever Allan’s weirdo goals were, his brigade’s efforts were knocking layers off the legions like they were applying peeling gel. Sheets of minions and chunks of dirt fell away.

And the ghouls within dissipated, banished by the light. Ubi alone remained. As the designated core, she continued to struggle in evident pain.

“Gahh…ahhh!” Ubi thrashed, possessed by a spirit, covered in mud. Azami soldiers were trying to pin her down, but she was too strong for them, and no one could stop her rampage.

““Mom!”” Mena and Phyllo were on top of her, trying to restrain her.

“Gah!” Ubi roared, trying to shake them off.

“Snap out of it, Mom! It’s not like you to let some dumb ghost get the better of you!”

“……Mom! I made friends! I’m going to school! You should come see! But you have to wake up first!”

“Ga……ah…”

Ubi’s struggles grew weaker.

“Ubi! Phyllo’s a little dumb sometimes, but she’s a good friend!” Selen cried out.

“Yep!” Riho added. “Her grades suck, but she shows up to every class!”

Subduing the mob minions, the soldiers started calling out, trying to help.

Scared the effects of the jewel were weakening, Amidine pulled a gun out of his pocket.

“Tch! She’s really trying to escape the power of the jewel? You’re supposed to be a zombie!”

He pointed the barrel at Mena. He’d already forgotten his plans to make use of her.

“Can’t have you getting through to her—die!”

Furious that things weren’t going his way, Amidine tried to pull the trigger…but Sardin saw him just in time.

“Not today!” he roared, throwing himself on top of Amidine.

“Tch! Dammit, out of my way!”

Bam!

There was a muffled gunshot.

Red bloomed from Sardin’s back. Blood began to flow.

Bam! Bam! Bam!

Three more gunshots.

Sardin’s coat was turning crimson, but he refused to let go of Amidine.

“Dammit! Let go! Out of my way! Everyone, out of my way! You’re the king! You were handed everything in life at birth!”

“Was I?” Sardin asked, choking on the blood in his mouth. He fixed a powerful glare on Amidine. “Hardly. I could never tell the public about the wife I loved. Could never even tell my beloved daughters I was their father! There’s nothing good about being king! While you…”

Sardin summoned his strength, pushing Amidine backward and swinging his fists.

“You’re trying to take them from me! My wife! My daughters! My family!”

The strength of his blows sent Amidine reeling.

“Gahhhh!”

Sardin swung again, striking Amidine’s chin with the full force of his emotions. Amidine toppled backward, hitting his head hard on the ground…and knocking himself out.

Clutching his belly, Sardin turned toward the Quinones.

“Ubi…,” he gasped.

At this call, the light came back to her eyes.

“Dar…ling…”

The spirit possessing her finally left her body, dissipating.

Seeing her free, Mena and Phyllo moved to catch Sardin.

“…Dad?”

“Uh, ha-ha-ha, yeah, your father is King Sardin,” he admitted awkwardly.

“What?! Why did nobody tell us?! All this time?!”

“Sorry…you were born in the middle of a huge fight over the succession. I’d hired your mother as a bodyguard and fell in love with her, but…”

Ubi dragged herself forward, reunited with her family.

“Mena, Phyllo, don’t blame him. He hid our existence to keep us safe, to keep us out of the battle for the throne. It was supposed to be temporary, until his government settled down and things cooled off…but then I got caught.”

Sardin’s hand brushed her cheek. “I got you mixed up in it anyway… Sorry it took me so long.”

Heedless of the blood on his hand, Ubi clutched it to her, cradling it.

Choline was already at his side, trying to heal him with her magic.

“…Crap,” she said.

Even for an expert healer like Choline, the damage was too great.

Everyone could tell the wound was fatal. It was a miracle he remained conscious and talking.

Ubi stared lovingly into Sardin’s eyes.

“I can finally call you my husband. At long last.”

Sardin nodded wordlessly. Ubi reached out and put her arms around Mena and Phyllo.

“Sorry it took us so long—but at last we can be a family.”

“……I’m sorry,” Sardin whispered, well aware he was not long for this world.

Ubi shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Doesn’t matter. Even if it’s only for a minute—for a single second. We got to be a family. That’s all the happiness I ever needed. I’ll never forget this moment.”

Ubi pushed Mena and Phyllo up against Sardin.

They tensed at first, but feeling their father’s warmth against them—and feeling it slowly ebb away—they called out to him.

“Dad!”

“…Dad.”

They found themselves crying like children.

“Oh…,” he whispered. “How I’ve longed to hear you call me that. How I’ve waited for this day.”

His hand reached up and stroked both his daughters’ heads.

Slowly. Gently.

He stroked until no feeling was left in his fingers.

Until no strength was left in his arms.

He burned the faces of his wife and children into his fading eyesight.

Then his eyes closed, as if to sleep.

“Dad!”

“Dad!”

Mena and Phyllo clutched him tight. Tears forming in her eyes, Ubi stood, rooted to the spot.

The crowd watched Sardin’s last moments in wordless silence, touched by this emotional scene.

That was the point Sou and Shouma showed up.

“Pardon the intrusion, but we’re in a bit of a rush.”

“Man, did we get some great footage! Yo, Lloyd! And everyone else! Super passionate performance! Bye!”

Alka was right on their heels.

“Come back here! Sou! Shouma! Whoa, is this dude dying? Whoopsie-daisy, lemme cast a little healing… Right, all better! I can bring anyone back as long as they ain’t dead, but that sure was cutting it close! Mm? And this pale beauty here’s got a death curse on her! Ha! This caused by that jewel Eug made, is it? Right, lemme take a look—oh, perfect! You’re all better, too! Even with my powers unstable, I can handle little problems just fine. I wouldn’t be myself otherwise! Bow down before my skills! I’m the greatest! Yikes, I forgot I was chasing those two villains! Later, Lloyd! Catch this kiss! Come back here!”

Having totally destroyed the mood, the three of them vanished down the sewer, leaving a stunned crowd in their wake.

Everyone had been sure Sardin was dead, but now his eyes—and jaw—opened wide.

“Huh? I’m not dead? Or even in pain? But how?”

Mena and Phyllo flung their arms around him, crying “Dad!” in much happier tones.

Ubi—now much less pale—couldn’t hold back any longer. Tears flowing, she joined the group hug.

Lloyd smiled at them happily.

“I knew that was all scripted! But, man, their acting is so convincing! I really thought he was bleeding out! Pros really know their stuff! Phyllo, you got a really juicy part… Oh, and sorry. The chief and Shouma kinda burst in there—thank goodness they waited until the scene was over!”

Lloyd’s obliviousness left the crowd stunned for a very different reason.

At any rate, everything had ended well…but just as everyone reached that conclusion, Amidine recovered from Sardin’s knockout punch.

“Mwa-ha-ha-ha! That sure hurt, Sardin! How dare you raise a hand to me?”

“Amidine, it’s all over. Give up and atone for your sins.”

“Over?! Don’t make me laugh! You mean to catch me? You can’t! After all…”

Amidine pulled the Saint’s Pendant out of his pocket, flashing a toothy grin.

The pendant’s supposed ability to banish the dead was a lie, and even if it could do that, it was now nothing but a useless item handcrafted by the kid grandma.

“I still have the pendant! Without this, you can never free your wife! Ubi will be a corpse forever!”

“…Er, about that?”

It was hard to explain that a strange child—who was actually well over a hundred—had already freed Ubi from the curse while also healing a nearly dead man back to full health.

Unaware that everything had already been resolved and he was the odd man out at a happy ending, Amidine was busy acting like a triumphant villain.

Everyone but Lloyd was just giving him cold, dead stares, but he pressed on regardless, demanding, “Let me off the hook! Do that, and I’ll give you the pendant! Well? Not a bad bargain, is it?”

It wasn’t much of a bargain at all, since the pendant’s value had long since cratered. His failure to realize that went beyond comical into outright pitiable.

But he just kept crowing. “Heh-heh-heh…go on! Nod, or I’ll throw this pendant down a hole in the side of the cave!”

He started waving it around like a kid, threatening to toss it.

“Oh,” Marie said, finally connecting the dots. “That pendant…if you swing it around…”

“Mwa-ha-ha! I’m not done yet! Amidine Oxo is not so easily bested! I’m at the helm of my own life, navigating a minor storm! In no time, the wind will catch my sails, and it’ll be smooth—”

“That little grandma says it causes a tornado that blows away anyone who swings it.”

“Mwa-ha-ha! I can feel it! I can feel the wind—the wind blowing—a bit too hard? Wait, is this pendant causing it?! Please make it stop!”

Amidine found a tornado forming around him…and the winds lifted him up, ramming him headfirst into the ceiling.

It was such a bizarre sight, no one moved to help him.

“Welp,” Riho said, breaking the silence. “I know one thing for sure—that guy was pathetic to the bitter end.”

Buried to the neck in the rock above, Amidine’s body twitched forlornly.

“It was Rokujou Holiday that made him famous,” Allan commented. “He played a prince who had everything you could want, but slipped out to explore the town, curious what life was like. In hindsight…perhaps a role he identified with. Some men will never be satisfied, no matter how much power they have.”

As Amidine swayed, the Jewel of Legions slipped from his pocket.

It hit the ground below and shattered—as if symbolizing the destruction of Amidine’s heart itself.

The next day, there was a party in the Rokujou palace garden.

At a glance, it appeared to be a wrap party for the movie, but…that film was slated to be shelved indefinitely, what with Amidine getting arrested and everything.

That fact was being kept hidden, both to avoid confusing the masses and to ensure they had identified everyone the Rising Blue Dragon was involved with.

That wasn’t the only thing being kept from the public…

“What?! I can’t tell anyone about my daughters?! Do you hate Daddy now?!”

Sardin was in great health—and with his biggest problems solved, making him possibly even more hyped up than usual. He was making a dramatic display of dismay as Mena and Phyllo looked on.

“…You’re kind of annoying, Dad.”

A phrase that would hammer a blow into any father’s heart. Daughters of the world, please reserve words like this or “you stink” for when they’re really needed.

Phyllo had sent Sardin to his knees, but Mena finished him off—she was back in her usual outfit, her eyes smiley once more.

“Hearing he’s our dad is just not the best news. And like, we’re royalty? Please. Besides, I kinda like the life I have.”

Sardin looked up in horror. They weren’t going to come live with him?

As his tears flowed, his wife stepped in to comfort him.

“Ubi! Say something, dear!”

“Give it up. This is how girls their age are supposed to be.”

“So heartless! You may not be a zombie anymore, but are you sure your heart’s beating again?”

Then Lloyd came out of the back room—in his original teenage body, but still wearing a dashing suit and tie like the grown-up version had.

Alka was following along after him, filming him with a crystal and drooling wildly.

“Maaan, grown-up Lloyd was so sweet, but boy Lloyd in a dapper suit? Total yearbook photo vibes! Good thing I retrofitted one of those to fit him.”

The kid grandma was lost in her own world, as usual.

Marie was along for the ride, looking exhausted.

“I’m the one who did all the work on that suit, but do I get any thanks? And what the heck is a yearbook? But he is cute.”

She was drooling a bit herself. Like master, like pupil.

Lloyd and his suit went over to greet Sardin.

“Director! I heard it’ll be a while before the movie screens because of all the editing.”

“Uh…and you are?”

“I can’t wait to finish filming!”

“…You’re Lloyd, right? Why are you wearing Mr. Akizuki’s clothes…? Wait…”

Realizing the boy he’d met at the hotel and Mr. Akizuki were one and the same, Sardin was very impressed with Azami’s disguise department. This was clearly way beyond makeup, though.

Seeing her father’s confusion, Mena let her eyes widen a bit. She scratched her head.

“If you think about it, it should have been obvious he was Lloyd… If only I figured it out, I wouldn’t have—”

“……Wouldn’t have what?”

“Er, uh, nothing, Phyllo! You know, uh…I was all giving him acting tips and showing him the ropes.”

Over Sardin’s shoulder, Mena could see Ubi stifling a laugh. She was turning bright red from the strain of it.

“Mom!”

“Ha-ha-ha, sorry, sorry, Natie. Phyllo, better let her off the hook here.”

“……Mm.” Phyllo nodded once, and Ubi reached up to brush her head.

“Aww…Ubi, I want to rub her head, too!”

“…Creep.”

“I’m your dad!”

“Now, now,” Mena said, recovering enough to tease her father. “If you want to rub Phyllo’s head so bad, we can find you a cactus. Feels basically the same.”

“……Exactly the same.”

“That can’t be true! It would shred my hand!”

Mena turned back to Lloyd and his friends.

“’Sup, guys! How y’all doing?”

“Oh, if it isn’t the famous actress-slash-princess Mena Quinone! How’s it feel to be living the dream?” Riho asked like she was a red-carpet reporter.

Mena winced. “Yeah, I’m not exactly coming to terms with it.”

“Figured! I sure wouldn’t!” Riho slapped her on the shoulders, acting just like she always did…which was a relief.

“I was entirely unprepared!” Selen cried, barging in. “For someone like Mena to be both a successful movie star and of high birth? Still, never fear! I shall treat you just as I always have. If everyone started bowing to you, it would be most disconcerting.”

“Spoken like a true outcast!” Riho exclaimed. “Being the Belt Princess as a kid left you pretty sharp on these things, huh?”

Selen turned and started thumping Riho with both fists, but Mena smiled at both.

“Ha-ha-ha, you’re both taking it in stride, at least. Thanks—but what the heck are they doing?”

“Marie personally made these clothes?! Unhand them, Lloyd Belladonna!”

“Y-yikes! Micona! Don’t!”

Micona was trying to pull the Marie-tailored suit off Lloyd, stripping him right here in front of everyone. The other girls were all watching with great interest, nobody acting all that fast to stop her.

Only Allan went barreling in at full speed.

“Unhand him, Micona! Lloyd, I’ll save you!”

“Pfft, you are a man in name alone! What use will you be?!”

“Gaffer Attack! Bounce Board Three-Point Lighting!”

Allan did not hesitate to destroy Micona’s eyes with his bounce boards. Using his massive frame to deploy three of them at once—a technique good kids, bad kids, and online streamers should definitely not try at home.

“My eyes! My eeeeyes!”

“…What is he even doing with his life?”

“He’s certainly not trying to be a soldier anymore. And he’s probably better at this…”

Allan had spent his job points in all the wrong professions, but no one blamed him for it. As long as he was having fun. Also, they knew full well that he would inevitably live to regret it and wind up sobbing into a pillow.

“Urp…huh? How do you tie this thing again?”

Lloyd had enough buttons undone his belly button was showing, and he was struggling to fix his tie.

“Uh, Lloyd!” Mena said brightly. “How’s it going?”

“Oh, Mena.”

“Hmm… Good, you didn’t figure it out. Thought not!” She seemed as sad as she was pleased. “Lloyd, about Mina…”

“Mina? Oh, that’s weird, I don’t see her anywhere.” He looked around, clueless as to who Mina really was.

“She’s a busy woman,” Mena explained, growing slightly more forlorn. “She’s probably off filming somewhere.”

“Oh? Well, that’s a shame.” He looked genuinely disappointed.

Mena held up a hand like a reporter’s microphone.

“Question for ya! Lloyd, what’s your take on that dame?”

“Er… She’s an enigma!”

“An…enigma?”

“Yes. I think that’s what they mean when they say ‘she’s enchanting.’ I don’t have a sister myself, so I’m not sure, but I bet that’s what having one would be like! I’d love to see her again.”

Mena’s cheeks flushed slightly.

“O-oh…,” she stammered. Saying more was clearly beyond her. She turned and quickly rushed away.

Ubi found her fanning her flushed cheeks. “You sure?” she asked. “You don’t want to say good-bye to him as Mina?”

“I’m sure, Mom,” Mena replied. “If we met now, it would just be awkward.”

She looked at Lloyd, half-lidded eyes glistening. Ubi smiled in silence.

Sensing something amiss, Choline pulled her aside.

“What you looking all happy for, Mena? You’re an actress and a princess and now you wanna go falling in love, too? That’s too much good for one life!”

Finding out your coworker was both an actress and a princess was certainly a soap opera–worthy twist, so Choline had elected to get drunk and go after her. Perhaps not the best choice.

“It’s not all good, Choline.”

“How is it not?! I can see that blissful smile! I know these things! You’re in love!”

“I’m not in love. It’s not that…” Mena glanced toward Lloyd again. “My type is at least twenty. Maybe in a few years…”

“Mm? I couldn’t hear you.”

“Nah, nothing. So, Choline…” Mena blushed and put a finger to her lips. “Don’t you go telling that boy I’m a princess—or an actress.”

She winked like a girl fresh off a brief summer fling.

“…Okaaaay. So less ‘good things’ than ‘bittersweet memories.’ What happened?”

Choline cocked her head, totally lost.

It was a lot to explain. Suppose there was a love story where two people were drawn together, unaware of each other’s identity, just like in the movies… Those always ended with both sides keeping their feelings to themselves.