Chapter 2

A Dirty Scheme: Suppose a Wolf Had Entered a Contest Meant Only for Sheep

And just like that, it was the day of the test.

The central square below the castle in the Kingdom of Azami featured a bronze statue of the king himself. A popular tourist attraction, it welcomed throngs of people who came to look at the statue…but since his metallic figure was noticeably more fit and more handsome than the real king, the locals tended to call it the “tribute to the king’s vanity.”

This statue’s gaze usually fell upon crowds of tourists, but today, the mood of the crowd was tense—and clearly not those of sightseers.

Just from the looks of it, everyone seemed seasoned and well trained, but they came from all sorts of backgrounds—from people decked out in expensive new outfits and equipment, to those wearing well-used breastplates, looking something like bandits, and everything in between.

Two soldiers stood in a room in the castle, looking down at the seething group from a distance. One was a male officer—he looked young, but he had the calm composure of a grizzled veteran, which was highlighted by his silver hair. The scar on his cheek drew the eye. The other was a brown-haired female officer—his opposite, as she seemed unusually hyper for her age.

Her eyes scanned the crowd eagerly, like a tourist spotting an unusual animal. If she wasn’t in uniform, anyone would have taken her for a middle school student on a field trip.

“Hey-yo, Merthophan, we got us an unprecedented selection this year, eh?” she commented. She spoke with a rapid-fire accent found to the west.

Meanwhile, the male officer—Merthophan—spoke in an emotionless, flat voice, like he was reading a report aloud. “All for the peace of the realm. Skill must outweigh rank or we’ll get nowhere. Am I wrong, Choline?”

The female officer—Choline—answered before he even finished. “Well, yer not wrong. I’ll take a peasant who made a name for ’emselves over some spoiled rich kid any day of the—whoa!”

She’d spotted something midsentence and slapped Merthophan on the back, yelling, “Look!” as she pointed at a particularly large man.

“That’s Allan Toin Lidocaine! Eldest son of a local lord; earned himself a ton of medals, I hear! He’s been sweeping all the tournaments.”

It appeared Allan was drawing attention not just from Choline but everyone around him. “Is that…?” Whispers rippled through the crowds, like when a celebrity was spotted in town.

But Merthophan’s voice betrayed no such enthusiasm. “He’s a very ambitious man. He immediately agreed to enlist on the condition that he’s made an officer quickly.”

“You don’t say? Sounds like the noblest of noblemen. He’s got the goods for sure, but I’m not feelin’ it.”

“Ambition stems from a strong will. As long as it’s for the benefit of the realm, it isn’t an issue.”

Choline shook her head with extra dramatic flair at his relentless professionalism. “I know you’re all riled up about this, but oy—even for peace, that one’s a bit much!”

This time she was pointing at a tall, wiry woman with a mean glint in her eyes and a permanent grin on her lips. She was showing a lot of skin and sitting on the side of the road, writing in some sort of journal with an arm covered in mechanical parts—presumably an artificial limb.

Those around her were keeping their distance, which made her stand out even more. And it wasn’t just the metal arm keeping people away.

“Riho Flavin…the one-armed mercenary. From the Flavin District. Infamous for turning on employers she doesn’t like—goin’ on violent rampages, invading their lands, etcetera, etcetera. There’s a warrant out for her arrest, ya know.”

“She’s a mercenary. We made a deal. Not an issue.”

“What kinda deal?”

“If she enlisted, I’d get that warrant canceled.”

“Well, well… I see you’re in it to win it…huh?” Choline looked around the square, baffled—searching for someone she couldn’t find.

“What?”

“Oh, nothin’. Just thought, all these people here, and no sign of that rumored Belt Princess.”

“Are you talking about the one who spent ten years training in her bedroom to free herself from it?”

“There’ve been a bunch of sightings, so I wanted to get a look for myself. Eh, too bad.” Choline locked her hands behind her head, muttering, “Boooooring,” and turned to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“To get ready for the test. I’m in charge of the written test on magic stuff! See ya.”

“You should hurry…oh, and she’s already gone. Never was one to let herself be pinned down…”

Merthophan looked back down at the applicants below.

A stir ran through the crowd.

He followed their stares and found the crowd parting like the Red Sea to make way for a beautiful woman. Short blond hair, elegant features with a shadow of a brooding look that only added to her mystique. But it wasn’t just her appearance that was causing this reaction.

“She’s jacked,” Merthophan grunted.

She might have been lightly dressed, but the curves of her chest, waist, and hips were less bombshell than taut. Her muscles honed to a catlike litheness, and she had a strange leather belt with a red stain wrapped around her waist…and when he saw that part, the pin dropped.

“Is that the Belt Princess? …Selen Hemein?”

As if echoing Merthophan’s realization, a big man—Allan—called out to her. “Yo, you the Belt Princess?”

A collective murmur spread through the crowd. “Is she…?” “The rumors said…”

“……”

The woman showed no reaction to Allan’s words or the stares of the crowd. This just seemed to confirm her identity.

“Tch…that arrogant attitude seals the deal. What the hell, man? Don’t tell me that belt actually came off or that it turns out you’re actually hot.”

“…What’s it to you?”

Her voice was clear and cold. This just wound Allan up even more.

“To hell with that!” he snarled. “You know damn well your whole creepy-ass vibe has been fueling rumors that all the local lords are deranged! If you can make yourself presentable, why didn’t you do that years ago?” Allan took a big step forward, glaring down at her. “I’d have been promoted way faster without you around.”

Watching this conflict from a distance, Merthophan put his hand to his chin, as he thought, He’s got the skills but seems a little to rash… Well, it’s not so bad that we can’t train it out of him.

But even as he calmly considered the man’s future potential…

“—Pffft!” Stone-faced, Merthophan suddenly shot out snot, achieving a record distance. “—Hot damn!” he yelped, rattled enough to break character. He’d just seen—

“Anywhere to sit down?” called out a boy in a simple linen shirt, looking around him as he walked.

But this was no ordinary boy. His sheer strength radiated off every step…toughness beyond all measure, power that you’d never imagine from his appearance.

“That boy’s applying?” Merthophan gulped, oblivious to the snot dribbling down his chin. “Good lord…with him as a patriotic soldier, our military force will be without rival in a decade or two. Even if war broke out today, we’d never lose!”

Merthophan thanked the gods for bringing this boy to him. Snot was still trickling down his chin.

Meanwhile, the infamous mercenary Riho was sitting at the edge of the square, watching Allan and Selen going at it with a grin.

“Got some spicy ones here,” she muttered as she evaluated their strength.

Ax dude’s strong enough, but in a tournament pro kinda way. He’s good one-on-one, but not so much in a real war… While Belt Princess’s definitely put in the hours, but she’s got no experience in actual combat.

She scribbled this down in her notebook.

Both are from big-shot families in the central region…which means they’re filthy rich.

Riho Flavin was appraising everyone here based primarily on potential cash flows; her notes were filled with details on how she could use them for her financial gain. To a mercenary, the secret to success was finding clients she could control and work with; she’d learned the hard way through one brush with death after another.

She finished scribbling down her evaluations, snapped her notebook closed, and put it away, before taking a deep breath.

All right. She wiped the sweat from her hands on her trousers. Time to face reality.

With that ominous thought, Riho slowly turned her gaze to her side.

“Whew…finally found an open space to sit down!”

Who is this freak of nature?!

Next to Riho, a boy with a cheery expression plopped down, wearing a simple linen shirt that made it abundantly clear he didn’t have any money. At a glance, there was nothing extraordinary about him…

You can’t tell by looking, but this is no ordinary boy! Just sitting next to him has the hairs on my back rising!

She’d never experienced anything like this. She’d often run into people who made her want to book it, but this was the first time she’d ever felt like she wouldn’t be able to outrun her opponent.

I…I can’t even move…it feels like if I moved a muscle or let my guard down, it’d give him the chance to send my head flying… It’s like I’m looking death in the face!

It felt like a tiger had just sat down next to her. Like one false move would attract his attention—with dire consequences.

Crap…crap! …Definitely underestimated this place…I never thought anyone like him would try to join the damn army!

Sweat pouring down her face, she kept her breathing shallow, trying to remain undetected, but…

“Um, can I ask you something?”

The tiger—Lloyd—turned and looked right at her.

“Eep!”

With a squeak, Riho threw her left arm up in front of herself defensively.

“…That’s amazing. A mechanical arm?”

Oh shit, I’ve made a mistake, Riho thought. Raising her craggy arm could be taken as a sign of aggression.

Crap! I gotta choose my next words carefully—ack, my life depends on it!

She swiftly lowered the arm, smiling awkwardly.

A

Riho: “Oh, yes! It’s a mechanical arm.”

Lloyd: “Then it must feel no pain!” Riiiiippp

B

Riho: “No, I was born with it.”

Lloyd: “Liar!” Riiiiippp

C

Riho: “……” Silence.

Lloyd: “Say something!” Riiiiippp

Every scenario in her mind ended with her mechanical arm being torn off, and visions of her future flashed before her eyes.

My life…is over…

Seeing the look on her face, Lloyd spluttered, “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to pry. I just thought it looked really cool!”

The smile he gave her was certainly gentle. Even comforting. Is that how the devil smiles? she thought, even more on edge than before.

Oblivious to the inner workings of her mind, Lloyd kept chattering away. “I’m from way out in the countryside, you see. I don’t really know anyone here, so I was feeling pretty nervous and uh…oh, I’m Lloyd, by the way. Lloyd Belladonna.”

“Er, uh…Riho. Flavin.”

Certain she’d die if she didn’t accept his handshake, she put both hands around it like a campaigning politician, bowing her head low. Her weight shifted so she could leap backward at a moment’s notice.

The awkward tension between them was broken by the sudden intrusion of the Belt Princess, Selen.

Wh-what now?! The friggin’ Belt Princess?!

Selen had been scanning the crowd, assuming that anyone who could beat that locust monster would either be a soldier already or here to enlist. This hunch had paid off, and fate had brought them together again. The thought of it made a broad smile spread across her faintly flushed face. Until now, the belt around her face had made an awful creaking noise every time she smiled, but she no longer had to hear that awful cacophony.

Riho knew none of this and braced herself to handle this new arrival.

This new girl had on a euphoric expression, looking like she’d never been happier in her entire life. She came right over to Lloyd and clicked her heels together, ready to say something—but she’d clearly failed to think of a topic beforehand.

“Oh, Sir Lloyd, Sir Lloyd, Sir Lloyd…”

Erm, well, it might be a bigger problem than finding common ground. The language centers of her brain appeared to be on the fritz.

As she stood there muttering to herself, Lloyd looked briefly confused, but she seemed familiar, and she was the right height. From those scant clues, he was able to conclude that this must be the skewer girl.

“Oh, Selen, was it?” he asked, all smiles. “You’re here to enlist, too?”

“Yes! I’m Selen Hemein, and I’m all yours!”

Onlookers could almost see the question mark forming above Lloyd’s head at the last line—far more suitable for pillow talk than the current situation. But he decided it was best to ignore it.

Is this my chance to escape? Riho was certainly curious about whatever was going on between these two but figured it was best to leave while she could. She dropped down on all fours to make her exit.

“And? Who are you?” Selen asked, the light leaving her eyes as she turned toward Riho at the worst possible time. Her gaze featured the dull gleam of a girl who’d spotted a rival for her love’s affections.

“—Dammit! Ugh!” With her one chance to leave crushed, Riho glared up at Selen without righting herself.

“Seemed like you and Lloyd were getting cozy with each other?”

“Cozy?! Are you friggin’ blind?!” Riho looked into those dead eyes, whispering, “Oh shit, you’re actually blind,” just as Lloyd jumped in, trying to drown out her last comment.

“This is Riho. We only just met a second ago.”

This cheered Selen up considerably.

“You did? Your interaction seemed strange, so I thought you might be a rival for his love…”

How did abject terror register as that?! Wait…

Riho had an idea, looking like a light bulb was going off above her.

A local lord and a country boy… They shouldn’t be connected in any way, but they seem awfully close. They must have history.

From her perspective…it seemed that they were certainly close, if they weren’t an item already, though it did seem like one was more into the other. She would have been genuinely shocked to discover they were basically total strangers.

I can sense power from this Lloyd person, enough to raise my hackles…but maybe I can work an angle through his connection to the Belt Princess and make use of him.

In Riho’s mind, she was a ringmaster ordering a lion tamer (Selen) to make the ferocious Lloyd do her bidding. Her old grin came back.

If I can get her to control this monster for me, I can move mountains…and make bank even when I’m stuck in this dismal army. I can almost taste that money!

This was a radical change in perspective—from fear for her life to a shot at a big score. Riho was already pumping her fist at the idea.

Meanwhile, the savage beast, Lloyd, was still smiling very gently.

“Well, glad to make some friends…I mean, first I’ve got to pass this test…”

On the other hand, the target of Riho’s would-be manipulations—Selen—was beaming and muttering to herself.

“Sir Lloyd” times twenty. Mumble, mumble.

…………And as each dwelled on their own thoughts, the admissions test was about to begin.

Under a clear blue sky, the crowd had been divided into a number of groups to administer the test. Colonel Merthophan had been putting a lot of work into recruiting in recent years, and the staff was used to guiding throngs of people by now, so things flowed smoothly. Hearty voices calling out “Next!” echoed across the square. First up was the combat test.

“Right, use any weapon of your choice and attack the dummy. We’ll take a look at your agility and fighting style… And we don’t care if you chop the thing in half!”

This last line got a big laugh out of the crowd. The dummy was made of stacks and stacks of iron plates, while the weapons were cheap bronze; there was no way these things could ever cut the dummies in half. Normally.

But Lloyd’s standards for everything—humor included—were totally out of whack. “But it looks like it’ll be easy to cut in half,” he said to himself, cocking his head to the side, and remained unsure why everyone else was laughing.

While Lloyd was waiting his turn, Merthophan was watching the test from a distance, nodding with a look of great satisfaction.

“It was worth the effort to gather them here… If these people are willing to fight for their country, we’ll be ready for any surprise.”

Riho saw him standing with his arms folded and left her place in line, flexing her powerful-looking false arm. She trotted over to him, grinning.

“…………What? Not going to drop out now, are you?” the officer commented.

“Heh, don’t make me laugh. You’re paying me on top of flushing all my sins away… I’ll put up with a lot for that. Not about to let a deal this good get away.”

“Then what do you want?” he asked, suspicious.

“Oh, you know,” she started, continuing to be super chill. “You’re sure putting a lot of work into this test. You got me, the Belt Princess—lots of people here with interesting stories to ’em.”

“All for the future of the realm.”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway…my question is…” She jabbed a finger in Lloyd’s direction. “The frick is that?”

“—No friggin’ clue.”

This uncharacteristic response made Riho lean in. “Like hell! You scouted him, right? That one’s wild!”

“I’m as shocked as you! We could have everyone here, myself included, gang up on him, and I don’t know if we’d win…”

Riho saw how nervous Lloyd looked and shook her head.

“He looks like any other country boy, but…that makes him even more frightening. I was legit worried my instincts were all messed up or something.”

Something about her tone must have reminded Merthophan of his position, because his tone grew immediately professional again. “I know you’re curious, but during the trial, I must remain impartial. Return to your place. If you get yourself disqualified, you’ll just be another criminal.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Guess we’ll find out how strong he really is after I pass this thing.”

“You seem confident. You sure you’re up to it?”

“You’re the one who scouted me, Colonel.”

She flashed him a grin. Behind her, the test administrator called her name.

She waved her artificial hand, heading over to the proctor.

“—What weapon will you use, Riho Flavin?”

Sword, mace, ax…she glanced over the array of weapons jammed in the wooden box as she continued to smile.

“Something funny?”

“Nothing, just…you’re asking me that?” She whipped her left arm out in front of the administrator.

The machinery inside started to whir like a long-horned beetle, leaving him speechless. She took a quick leap over to the dummy, swinging her arm toward it. There was a screech of metal on metal, and the dummy’s iron plate came off, landing on the ground with a sharp clang.

“That…that was welded on!”

Riho just grinned at him. “My buddy here’s made of mithril, so this is nothing. You pass me, and I’m sure it can be a big help to Azami. Just between you and me, though, this thing is useful but costs an arm and a leg to maintain. So help a girl out, would ya?”

“…Bring a new dummy!”

With her sales pitch over, Riho headed toward the next test area.

“So come on, Lloyd, m’lady Selen…I need you both to pass this thing.”

Meanwhile, in front of Lloyd in line, the decorated veteran Allan Lidocaine was about to show off his strength.

“Hrgh, hyah, rah, hah! Argh!”

As he swung a heavy two-handed ax around like it weighed nothing, Allan hacked at the dummy from all directions. The crowd watching oohed and aahed, sounding very impressed.

“That’s enough! Next!”

“Hmph, good workout.”

When Allan was done, Lloyd thought, Oh, I see. This isn’t about knocking the dummy down; it’s a test to see if we can hit it on beat—and fast! So that’s how people are scored!

Convinced he was being scored on artistic merit like a figure skater, Lloyd grew even more nervous. “This is gonna be hard…,” he whispered, cowering slightly.

“Next! Lloyd Belladonna!”

“Uh, here!”

His voice cracked in the middle, and it got a snicker from the crowd around him, but he was too tense to notice. He was stressing so hard his right and left leg both moved together as a pair.

“Ahem. Your weapon?”

“Er, uh, ah, a short sword.”

Lloyd rummaged around to draw a little sword from the box and hastily readied himself. When he gingerly approached the dummy, the crowd sneered.

Gently, gently…don’t break it…but multiple attacks, rhythmically…

Approaching it as if the slightest touch would break it, Lloyd swung his blade too fast for the eye to see.

Literally too fast for the eye to see—the other people in line and the test administrator had no idea what happened.

But a few seconds later…the dummy fell to pieces—with a heavy crash and a huge puff of dust.

“““Hunh?!””” The crowd gaped.

Lloyd misinterpreted the crowd’s disbelief as horror at his failure (like, “come on, seriously?”) and hung his head.

Ohhhhh noooooooooooooo…

The administrator looked back and forth at the dejected boy and the broken dummy. “Hmm…I guess Allan’s attacks had made it kinda fragile…like it was already broken before you even touched it.”

Yeah, that must be it.

“Enough! Hey! Bring another dummy, quick!” he shouted, trying to move Lloyd along.

Lloyd dragged his feet as he left, desperately thinking about how he could make up for this on the written test.

Next up was the written component. The administrators were already gathering the completed test sheets.

“Hmm? What the…?”

One administrator’s eyes happened to fall on a test sheet with a very strange answer.

“Lloyd Belladonna…what the hell is this answer?”

The question involved was a simple one: List some examples of fire magic. But the answer was a list of unreadable pictographs.

“Oh, I see. Your classic ‘I-don’t-get-it-so-I’ll-just-make-something-up’ answer, huh? Happens all in the time in vocab quizzes, ha-ha-ha.”

He finished gathering the tests, certain that anyone dumb enough to have to fudge this question with drawings was definitely doomed.

Neither the administrator nor the people grading the tests knew that these pictographs were runes, wisdom of yore.

While the test papers were being collected, the applicant interviews were going on in the next room. Lloyd was facing two administrators, sweating like he was in a sauna.

“Lloyd Belladonna, was it?”

“Yes, I came here hoping to be a soldier…”

“From Kunlun…never heard of it. Where is it?”

“Oh, uh, the very edge of the continent.”

“What edge…? Whatever. Any special skills we should know about?”

“Er, uh…cooking, laundry, and, um…I can make it rain.”

This last one earned him a look of surprise.

“—Hunh?”

“Th-that’s about it. Um…”

Lloyd stood up, went to the window, scribbled something on the wooden frame, and made a gesture like he was shooing it toward the sky. He’d cast a rain spell using an ancient rune, but to the administrators, it looked like total mumbo jumbo. They glanced at each other and winced.

“…All right. So, uh, in a few minutes it should start raining.”

“That’s enough. Exit’s that way.”

“Oh… Okay.”

Lloyd’s shoulders slumped forward, and he trailed out of the room.

“—No hope for him,” one administrator commented.

The other one nodded. “Rain? Mm? Wait…is it clouding over…?”

He frowned. “Must be some cheap farmer trick. Read the flow of the clouds or whatever, then pretend like you’re making it rain.”

“Like that’d fool us.”

“Exactly. If anyone could do that, it would be a huge deal.”

Together, they looked at the raindrops striking the window and left it at that.

Once the test concluded, Lloyd’s shoulders were still drooped as he trudged home.

“Ah…I knew making it rain wasn’t a big deal…”

He was getting soaked as he weaved through the streets. He was too filled with self-loathing to even bother avoiding the puddles.

When will he ever realize just how powerful he really is?