Chapter 4

A Bad Joke: Suppose You Realized the World Had Already Ended

Not too long after Tiger Nexamic’s attack…Eug had finally recovered from the previous day’s disaster and was walking through the woods.

She was following an animal’s tracks, using fallen brush as markers.

“I’m worried about the modified Mastema Fruit I’m growing. The treants and artillery, I can replace in time, but…without those fruits, I can’t hold a decent number of demon lords. To open the Last Dungeon and unleash all the demon lords on the world, I need a means to control them and protect myself.”

Muttering to herself, she walked farther into the forest.

“Yesterday was just a case of bad luck. That guerrilla downpour caused all of it. But my bad luck ends there! It shouldn’t have damaged the Mastema Fruit… This ground is holy. The locals would never come here. It’ll be fine. Totally fine.”

Eug repeated this last phrase a few times, trying to convince herself. It was rather hard to watch.

She’d come to check on the modified Mastema Fruit for a reason.

And her hunch came true. There were no signs of the fruit she’d been cultivating. The whole patch was picked clean. Even the stalks had been pulled up by the roots, making it impossible to regrow anything.

“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! I was right! Why was I right?! Dammiiiiiiit!”

There was no one to hear her screams. The fruit of her research had been stolen, roots and all, and screaming was all she could do.

Eug was on her second straight day of screaming, and her throat couldn’t take much more of it.

“What even happened?” she screamed, examining the scene through her tears. “Monsters? No, Mastema Fruit ward off evil! They’d never come here, and they’ve got no flavor, so normal animals don’t eat them… Then humans? But the locals never just drop by. No one’s been here in over a year!”

Eug found a footprint in the dirt.

“So it was a person? Not that large a foot… Maybe a boy?”

Some kid’s prank? Were kids daring one another to explore the holy ground? A number of possibilities flashed through Eug’s mind.

Then she remembered something Renge had said: Anzu called in a ringer, but he’s an inelegant country hick.

“A ringer…from another country…”

One candidate floated into her mind.

Azami. A boy. Lloyd Belladonna.

“N-no… It can’t be. Not now… He wouldn’t be… He totally would! It’s like his life’s purpose is to stand in my way!”

Eug turned on her heel and headed toward the Audoc clan’s territory to demand a full explanation.

At the camp, the Audoc and Tiger clans were getting along great, exchanging techniques.

Chatter about bodybuilding, the effects of ax swings on back muscles, and elegant clothing. The topics exchanged were all very informative. At least, to the specific people assembled here.

Eug showed no interest in this newfound friendliness. She went straight for the Audoc manor…and found Renge slaving over some tea treats.

“Yo, Renge, how’s it going? I’m doomed.”

“Oh, Eug! Not often you come to me. Craving tea?”

“Nexamic’s out? Fine. I had a question for you.”

Eug was not even trying to disguise her foul mood, but Renge was in a far too good one to notice.

“Just one minute!” she called out and put the scones in the oven. Definitely displaying a good wife vibe. “Okay, ask away.”

“You mentioned the Kyounin clan had ringers…”

“Yes! One joined our alliance! A most wonderful man.” Renge’s cheeks turned beet-red, clearly thinking of Allan.

Eug was beyond noticing such subtleties. She glared at Renge. “…Tell me more about them.”

Eug was expecting a description.

Renge smiled confidently. “The rest had not a trace of elegance among them.”

“Just tell me what they were wearing, doofus.”

Renge clearly paid that last word no attention. She folded her arms, thinking.

“Well,” she said, “one was sort of aristocratic. Then there was a mercenary and a witch…”

Eug twitched.

“They had some very odd equipment. Like a stretchy belt and a mechanical arm…”

These were not…words Eug had fond memories of.

“Is it some new fad, I wonder? Are those unsightly things fashionable in Azami?”

“Wait! Stop, dooooofuuus!”

Eug was getting a bad feeling about this, and this sort of bad feeling always came true.

Renge blinked, unsure why she was being yelled at. “D-did I do something wrong, Eug? I apologize! I’ll put the tea on at once!”

“Tea isn’t gonna solve this! This is an unmitigated disaster! You fool! Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?!” Eug was pounding her head on the table, tears in her eyes. “Auuugh… Also, ow!”

Renge did not know what to do about this sudden outburst of self-inflicted harm.

“A-are you that horrified by their lack of elegance?” she asked. “Their pallid faces, clearly just there to make up the numbers, so inelegant—”

“No! You nitwit! Why? I gave you that poison to ensure our victory! Why did that wind up destroying everything?!”

Eug was now in a blind rage. Renge looked like a veteran employee flustered by their younger boss’s temper. It seemed like anything she said would get her yelled at. Dear reader, do you know the type?

“D-don’t worry, Eug. We have the legendary dragon slayer, Allan!”

“Oh god! I can’t believe this! You’re so stupid!”

Eug was well aware that Allan wasn’t that strong, but she was far too angry to explain this. It came out as a childish tantrum, not the least bit intimidating.

Renge was left baffled—but then Nexamic returned.

“Eug is right to be upset, Renge. The rest of the ringers are no pushovers.”

“Nexamic, did they—?”

He had clearly taken quite a beating.

“This is what they did to me despite my super-hard body using Rock Hawk!”

He shook his head, frustrated, gesturing to the cuts on his body. As he did, his trunks fluttered to the floor.

““Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”” Both girls let out bloodcurdling screams. Phyllo’s ultimate sword chop had clearly finished off his underwear.

“Such surprise for a few minor cuts…but had I fought longer, she might well have damaged my mask! Horrifying! Azamiiiii!”

“Not your mask! Down below!”

“Hngg? Oh, sorry! Wrong tiger.” Nexamic took off his cape and wrapped it around his waist like a bath towel.

Eug had screamed quite a lot since entering the kitchen, and her throat was scratchy.

“Like I said! I’m doomed! Everything’s going wrong!”

“I certainly have no elegant response.” Renge apologized on behalf of her entire country. Even Nexamic had the courtesy to sweat profusely.

“I never thought they’d be that good… The second greatest peril in Tiger history!”

“What was the first…? You know what? Never mind.” Eug decided it would just be some muscle thing and abandoned that line of inquiry. She sighed dramatically. “Sheesh… So that’s the extent of your love for your country, huh? I guess I expected better. It’s only a matter of time before Anzu makes you part of Profen now.”

This rattled them both.

“How harsh! We should only be harsh on our own muscles! They recover!”

“As time passes, tea and motivation cool alike! But love still remains!”

“Will you please drop the muscle and tea shtick? Ugh, whatever.”

Eug glared at them, clearly past caring.

“Then demonstrate some patriotism! I’m helping you without reward here. We’re well past being choosy on the methods. Poison or whatever, do anything it takes to beat them. Leave no stone unturned. The future of the Domain depends upon it!”

Eug glanced down at the two eggs in her pockets.

“I’m headed back to my lab. Gotta prepare for the worst…” Ignoring their stares, she turned and set off. “Why can’t anything go right? It’s always been like this. But this isn’t like the exhibition match in Azami. After all…”

She rolled an egg around her palm, pepping herself up.

“…I’ve got two new demon lords! If these can’t win, I’ll just be a laughingstock.”

Nexamic and Renge were left staring after her.

Then they hung their heads. “Renge,” Nexamic said. “After everything she said, we can’t worry about appearances. Cast aside your shame…or the Ascorbic Domain will cease to exist.”

His pecs trembled, perking him up.

“You could probably use a little more shame…but does this mean you have a plan? One hotter than any tea?”

Nexamic nodded. “The tournament contents are determined by drawing straws—so if we finagle those straws, we can force a battle type that gives us the advantage.”

Renge narrowed her eyes. “Interesting. We might not be able to take them in a real fight, but if we draw a game that makes the outcome depend on luck or brains, our odds at winning will be even—or at an advantage. Anzu’s crap at games.”

“But there’s a chance the Azami contingent is great at them.”

Nexamic’s pecs twitched uncertainly, plagued with self-doubt.

There was a long silence, like a meeting where no one had any good ideas. This was gonna be a tough nut to crack.

Eventually, Renge said, “If we took a hostage…”

This surprised even Nexamic. His pecs grew extra active.

“Renge, even for the love of your country, that is lacking in your beloved elegance.”

“You don’t need to tell me that. But…if we invite them to tea, show them a good time…and let their friends jump to conclusions…”

“A bluff, then! Very well, I’m on board! We shall serve this hostage all the tea and muscles they could want, and victory will be ours! A win for everybody!”

It was unclear who would benefit from having muscles served to them.

“I’m grateful for your help, Tiger Nexamic.”

“Not a problem! We’re all in this together! We’re on the same tiger! I’ll help you to the bitter end, Renge!”

“Thank you. I think you’ll find it’s boat, not tiger…”

“Mwa-ha-ha! So it is! I’m on the biggest boat! My hamstrings have your back!”

With this dude around, any boat was the Titanic.

Nexamic was ready to catch anyone who slipped between his thighs, and Renge was getting carried away, imagining herself as a tragic heroine. They were meant for each other.

Imagining the villainy to come, they were both overacting to a degree that would definitely make any stage director stop the rehearsal.

“This is a form of elegance! Let us turn evil for the sake of our homeland.”

“But, Renge, who will we be entertaining?”

“It’s Azami we need to take out—and they had one boy who was clearly rather weak.”

“Oh! So they did! That twig of a kid! He must be their errand boy.”

“Likely the superhumans’ mascot. The one who smooths over all the conflicts.”

“I agree! He’s our one shot, much as it pains me to admit it.”

“We must start with clever words and elegance.”

“And finish with muscles!”

They sprang into action…and would live to regret it. Lloyd certainly was mascot-like—and the most superhuman of them all. It was like they were playing old maid and had confidently grabbed the joker.

Back at the Kyounin clan’s headquarters…

Mastering a new secret art had worn Phyllo out, and she turned in early. Selen was off developing some new stamina food, Marie and Riho were trying to stop her, and Anzu had taken the Mastema Fruit, investigating something with her servants.

The third day in the Ascorbic Domain had ended without Lloyd doing any training.

He was feeling out of sorts.

“I guess someone as weak as me isn’t gonna get stronger, even in the holy training grounds.”

Despite those words, he didn’t look ready to give up. It wasn’t like he’d done his best and failed. He hadn’t even been allowed to try.

“Am I that hopeless…?”

Quite the opposite; he was doing so well, everyone was sort of scared to let him try.

He wandered aimlessly around the grounds, gazing at the mystic mountains.

“But these buildings are so solemn! And I thought the stonework in Rokujou looked different… Hmm?”

In the dark of the clan garden, Lloyd saw something gleam. He frowned.

“Welcome!” Nexamic boomed. Posing to show off his muscles, he sidled over to Lloyd. This looked even creepier from a distance.

When he reached Lloyd, he went into the full Sergio Oliva pose, muscles fully pumped. “Well? How do you like my muscles?”

Okay, even close-up, it was creepy. Lloyd was unsure how to review this man’s posing.

“No need to look so tense! Be as flexible as a tiger’s fibers! See!”

Unable to bear watching this any longer, Renge came racing over. “You fool! You’re just scaring him off!”

“Renge! This is the classic advertising technique! ‘You, too, can have a bod like this! ’ And these…are my hamstrings!”

“You’ll never be a negotiator.”

Caught between the tanned muscles and the red dress, Lloyd was at a total loss.

“Um, what’s going on? I’m confused.”

“If you weren’t, you’d be psychic. Hi there! Lloyd, was it? My name is Renge Audoc. An elegant lady who loves and is loved by tea.”

“And these are my hamstrings! And I am Tiger……Nexamic!”

These introductions were devoid of useful information, but Lloyd went ahead and bowed anyway.

“H-hi, I’m Lloyd Belladonna.”

Regardless of Lloyd’s hesitation—or perhaps just incapable of noticing it—Nexamic changed his pose and got to the point.

“Lloyd! We’d like you to come with us! You won’t regret it! You came to the Domain to obtain your ideal muscles, yes? We are comrades!”

“Would you care to join us for tea? We have some great leaves. Even the cups are first-class! And the macarons are most elegant. Well? Interested?”

It seemed their scheme was to lure him with tea and muscles.

They assumed that everyone else liked what they liked, too. That kind of thinking made communication impossible. But positive spins were Lloyd’s specialty, so he thought long and hard, trying to figure out what this might mean.

And the result…

That’s right… When Anzu was training me, she kept sighing. That must be because I’ve got no knack for swords.

No…it was because he destroyed two landmarks.

Lloyd’s thoughts just kept chugging full speed in the wrong direction.

Oh! So she figured I might be better at fisticuffs or axes and spoke to those clans, asking them to train me!

Lloyd had somehow found a way to give Anzu the credit for all this.

His look of confusion vanished. He’d come to the Ascorbic Domain to train, and it seemed like he would finally get to. Maybe he’d get stronger! Maybe he’d learn an ultimate attack! He was delighted.

He took both Renge’s and Nexamic’s hands.

“Thank you so much!” he exclaimed. “I have no talent for swords and am hardly worth training! Anzu must have asked you to help train me instead! I can’t tell you how grateful I am. I really want to get stronger, so I don’t hold everyone else back anymore…”

They had not expected such heartful gratitude. Or those tears.

Nexamic and Renge exchanged glances, dumbfounded.

“Hngg… This is painful, Renge. It pains the heart—not my adorable pecs.”

“I know… Geez, I bet Anzu decided this kid was too cute and was afraid to put him through any serious practice.”

Renge scratched her cheek, mad at Anzu—but of course, Anzu was afraid. A level-30 character would be afraid of training someone who was already level 80.

Nexamic gave Lloyd a pat on the back, trying to cheer him up.

“Don’t worry, Lloyd! I was once as frail as you! But then I discovered bodybuilding, and my body turned into this! Muscles will never betray you!”

“Stand up tall.” Renge smiled. “Lack of confidence shows in your posture. Anzu once made me feel terribly insecure, but I overcame that thanks to my faith in the importance of elegant living.”

“Muscles!”

“And elegance!”

““Having both will make you strong!””

It seemed the two were projecting their own past selves onto Lloyd. They were pouring their hearts to him, being genuine and forgetting they were trying to turn him into a hostage. Now it was more like they were looking after a poor abandoned puppy.

Lloyd sensed the mercy in their hearts, felt no need for caution, and happily ran off with them.

But as the readers all knew, he was no puppy—more like a wolf. And the kind that’s a god in disguise.

“Surtr… Eve said something about a turtle, but who are you? Do I know you? Either way, I need you to get used to me while you’re still a locust, or I’ll never stand a chance against them.”

Eug was in the depths of her laboratory, muttering to herself, wrestling with the eggs Eve had given her.

Her priority was drawing out Surtr’s power and controlling its abilities at will. That was her one shot at fighting Lloyd and company. She was engaged in an intense trial-and-error process, a ton of strange equipment and computers all around her.

And then Nexamic and Renge appeared.

“Did things go well?” Eug asked without turning around.

““Yes!”” they exclaimed proudly.

“Our plan is to rig the tournament content! Less serious battles, more luck-based games or events that play to our skill sets—turn the odds in our favor!”

“Cool, less a tournament arc and more a variety show. Definitely sounds like your best shot,” Eug remarked.

“What’s…a variety show?”

“Never mind. You’ll find out once the world is elevated.”

“Very well! I look forward to this elevation! Mwa-ha-ha!”

Rolling one of the eggs—Satan—around her palm, Eug grinned. “All right. I was getting worried there! Hmm, still doesn’t quite feel like enough… By the looks on your faces, you’ve taken other steps, I’m guessing? Explain.”

She’d seen the confidence in their expressions and even found herself wanting to trust them. She was sure they had another card up their sleeve.

“We have a hostage.”

“Oh! Way more aggressive than I expected from you two! Well done.” Eug looked delighted. “Variety games and a hostage to fix the outcomes… That should pull the wool over everyone’s eyes, even those who have an eye for legitimate battles! I bet you could even fool that demon lord!”

“Demon Lord? You mean the Sacred Beast?”

“Whoops, slip of the tongue. A-anyway, where is this poor hostage?”

“Sipping tea next door.”

“Oh? Not locked up somewhere? What, are they a little kid?”

“A very nice teenage boy.”

“He believed everything we told him! Made us want to return the favor.”

“Yes, we’ve got to do something for this good country boy.”

“A good…country boy?” Eug asked, twitching violently. “Is he…?”

“Yes, Anzu seemed to have taken a real liking to him! She was giving him first-class treatment.”

“Almost like she was buttering up someone who outranked her!”

“It was most amusing.”

“He’s worried about how weak he is, but she failed to train him at all! She’s unfit to rule!”

They couldn’t have…but one boy’s face filled Eug’s mind. A boy with a gentle smile, who never doubted his own weakness—Lloyd.

“No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Nooooooooo!!!”

This was not happening! Eug shook her head, trying to banish Lloyd from her mind. Eyes narrowing, she turned back to the two clan leaders.

“And this poor boy’s name is…? Please don’t be…”

Nexamic and Renge had no idea what this last “please” was about, but they led Eug to the lab door—outside was the area with the couches.

“Right here! His name is Lloyd!” Renge pointed right at where he sat, sipping tea. It was a bit hot for him, and he winced as he took a sip.

Eug’s worst fears slotted home like she’d just hit a hole in one.

“You imbeciiiiiiiiiiiiiles!” she screamed.

It was so loud that Lloyd jumped, looking around.

Eug fell to her knees, reliving the trauma of having all her plans instantly ruined.

This drew baffled stares.

“Hngg? What’s wrong, Eug?”

“We’ve taken such a nice boy hostage… It does weigh on the conscience. So inelegant.”

“No! You damn— Don’t you realize you’ve made everything worse?!”

Neither of them knew about Lloyd’s strength, so they had no clue why she was so angry.

“Don’t worry! This is certainly a shameful act devoid of elegance, but if we win the Sacred Mountain Rite and become the next ruler, we can pardon ourselves!”

“That’s not the problem! Did you really have to bring the most dangerous one here?!”

So many things had gone wrong that Eug was rolling around on the floor like an overwhelmed toddler. Nobody took it well when their plans didn’t work out, but this lady was well over a hundred years old. Make that a hundred-something.

Nexamic was never one to take a hint at the best of times. “Oh! Right! Eug, I had a favor to ask.”

“You’re gonna ask for something now?! I’m almost impressed!”

He took this spite literally, flexing his pecs and flashing his pearly whites. “Ha! Ha! Ha! Thank you. You see, Anzu refused to even train this boy.”

“Naturally! Wise decision!”

“Certainly, he has little potential.” Renge sighed. “I don’t blame her for being reluctant, but…”

“She’d never stand a chance! Nope! No ordinary person would!”

The two of them were assuming Lloyd was too weak to train, and Eug knew he was too strong—but somehow, the conversation still added up. Hilarious.

“Which means! We’d like your power, so we can train this purehearted boy!”

“M-my power— Wait, train him?! Lloyd?!” Eug reeled like a bomb had gone off.

Renge just kept piling on. “You can do it, Eug! Your incredible inventions have done everything we ever asked for!”

“Exactly! That ‘electronic absorber’ that trains your abs while you sleep is now a must for every fisticuffs expert!”

“Exactly! Your ‘electric kettle’ and ‘magic canteen’ are a must for tea lovers everywhere!”

They were so impressed by Eug’s past work, their faith in her was unshakable! Even if it was intrinsically tied to their usual shtick.

“Doesn’t mean I can do this! Some things are just impossible!”

“Mwa-ha-ha! No need for modesty!”

“He’s all yours!”

Despite Eug’s tears, the two turned to go, calling to Lloyd as they left.

“Lloyd! We spoke to the amazing lady next door!”

“She’s wonderful! She makes all your wishes come true! Oh, and there’s more tea over there.”

Lloyd bowed his head at their backs. “Th-thank you! I’ll do my very, very best!”

““Good luck! To us all!””

It sounded like they were rooting for each other. Meanwhile, Eug was out back, ready to puke.

“Don’t do your best! Stop wishing him luck! Drop dead!”

“Er… Are you the lady next door?” Lloyd asked, coming closer.

Eug panicked. “If he sees me, I’m sunk!” She hastily grabbed some hooded training gear meant for men and put it on. It was the same white martial arts uniform Lloyd was wearing.

Worn over her clothes, it was bulky in a way that made her seem like an old master. When he stepped through the lab doors, he immediately registered her as someone amazing and bowed his head.

“N-nice to meet you! I’m Lloyd Belladonna.”

“—I know,” Eug growled.

“You do?!” Lloyd shouted, overreacting. “You predicted my arrival! You’re definitely every bit as amazing as they said!”

Well, in this situation, at this timing, you couldn’t necessarily blame him for taking that comment as proof that she had precognitive abilities.

Craaaap! I blew my chance to wriggle out of thiiiiiiiiiiiiis!

“What’s wrong? Why are you clutching your head—? Oh, are you having another vision?!”

Nooooo! The horror of having you dogging my footsteps is giving me a headache! Eug desperately lowered her voice to avoid any chance of him recognizing it.

“—Not this time.”

“O-oh. Sorry, guess I got ahead of myself. Uh, so I’m sure they told you, but I’m here for some training. I’d like to ask for your help!”

“—I know. Go home,” she growled, waving him to the door.

Lloyd wasn’t going anywhere. “I’m not leaving! No—I can’t leave! I need to get stronger! I can’t go home until I’m strong enough that I won’t hold everyone back!”

Good god! You’re already too strong! What more could you possibly want?! Were the nerves between your eyes and your brain hooked up wrong?!

“First, they tried to train me with a sword, but then they said it was too dangerous and took it away from me. Instead, they gave me a wooden sword, and I accidentally threw it.”

“That was youuuuuuuuuu?!”

“Huh?”

“N-never mind.”

She’d been shocked into using her regular voice, but Lloyd didn’t notice. He went right back to a recitation of his failures.

“Then we were supposed to do waterfall climbing, but it had been too sunny, and the waterfall wasn’t strong enough, so I made it rain, but I messed that up, too.”

“You agaaiiiiiinn?!”

“Huh?”

“Never mind. I mean, I mind, but you… Wait, did you also harvest all the Mastema Fruit?”

“Those fruit? Yes, I was told we needed them for training, so I found some growing in the wild and harvested them, roots and all!”

“I knew iiiiiiiiiiiiiit!”

They were going back and forth as fast as an interview with only softball questions.

You oblivious kid! How do you crush every one of my plans without even trying?! It makes me want to reveal myself so I can yell at you for it!

Eug almost did just that, but…if she was caught here, she really would be finished. She choked back her rage and returned to old mentor mode.

“—You’re already strong enough. I have nothing to teach you. Go away.”

“Sorry. Maybe I have so little potential, you feel like you have to lie, but…”

I’m not lying! Who the hell told him he was weak?! How’d he get this idea in his mind?!

Her best friend, Shouma. In his experience, being too strong meant the world was a depressing place. He didn’t want Lloyd to go through the same thing, so he’d spent ages telling him how amazing it was out there.

“So I want some tangible progress! Please! Teach me an ultimate attack!”

You really don’t know?! Every punch you throw would be anyone else’s ultimate attack! A fatality! Literally!

Lloyd was pleading with her, tears in his eyes. Eug was so at a loss that she had tears welling up in her own. There was a long, awkward silence.

“Your efforts will prove futile,” she said at last. “I advise against it.”

“Then I’ll put in so much effort that it won’t be futile! I feel like if I give up here, I’ll never get anywhere!”

“Look, you can’t just try hard and hope you’ll get anywhere! All it’ll do is make your failures sting more! Don’t you get that?”

“I see every failure as a paving stone on the path ahead! No—I’ll make them one! If I do nothing, I’ll never be anyone! Even if I get nothing from the training, then at least I can admit that to myself!”

“…If you admit to failure, that makes you a loser.”

“It doesn’t!”

“It does, nitwit!” Eug had long since lapsed into her normal voice, but Lloyd was getting too worked up to notice.

The more Lloyd stuck to his guns, the less the argument was about whether he was already strong than a debate on the merits of success and failure.

Eug sighed bitterly. “How can you admit to failure? We destroyed the world! Countless people died! It turned into a fantasy realm! We have to make it like it was before! Better than it was! Then it won’t be a failure! All those deaths will have meaning!”

“Er…what?”

“Never mind. Wait—”

An idea struck her.

That’s right! He’s ruined all my plans! Maybe this is my chance to finish him off!

Eug looked down at the demon-lord egg in her hand, grinning inside her hood. “Heh-heh-heh…”

“Er…huh?”

Her sinister chuckle had him worried.

“Very well,” she replied. “Come this way.”

Making sure her hood was secure, Eug led Lloyd out back.

He had no choice but to follow after.

Getting into her grizzled-mentor act, Eug guided Lloyd through the cave behind the lab.

It was a man-made space, carved out of a natural cave. Beyond that was an open rocky area…with a huge hole in the ceiling.

Moonlight poured down on the two of them.

Enough moisture reached this area that vines and ferns were growing, and beneath them…

“Is that training equipment?”

Weights for training were lying below the plants. The walls had nicks in them, too. It suggested that people had once trained here.

“It’s pretty far from the lab and wide-open. You should be able to cut loose here without any real problems,” Eug explained. She peered up at the sky from the depths of her hood.

Lloyd was looking worried.

“Er, um… What is this place? Are you going to train me?”

She nodded gravely and then threw the egg at the wall.

There was a snap, and the egg cracked. Once the dazzling light faded, a mystery man appeared, lying flat on the ground. Lloyd had been expecting yolk, so he was quite astonished.

“Whoa! Wh-who is he?” he yelped, pointing.

First, the man’s clothes. He was dressed like a nobleman with a white scarf.

Then his hair. It was a lighter shade of indigo, and it stood on end, rather like an owl.

And last, his face— Well, he just looked surprised to find himself here. The outer corners of his eyes drooped down, and lights flashed in his vision, flitting in his periphery like butterflies.

When he ran his fingers through his hair, the action revealed an odd patch of skin—like he’d once had horns, but they’d been broken off. He was a very strange man, but since he was lying facedown, it was less “Scary!” and more “Is he okay?” The goofiness of this situation undermined his entrance.

The man scrambled onto all fours, looking around. Then he sprang to his feet, hand on his chin, growling like he’d just remembered something.

“Hmm…where am I? I was in a field, and children were throwing rocks, and they broke my horns… Augh! Where are my horns?! They’re both— Wait, wait! A meteor fell on me, and I was flung aside, buried facedown in the dirt, and when someone finally pulled me out, it was some weirdo in a bunny costume…and now I’m here? Hmm…most confusing.”

“Er…is this man okay? Is he even human?”

At Lloyd’s question, the man spun around, snapped his heels together, and bowed.

“I am not human. My name is Satan! The widely feared demon lord of the night! I despair of the corruption mankind has unleashed upon this world. If we leave them unchecked—”

This seemed like it might take a while, so Eug interrupted. “Ahem. So this is Satan. Basically a kind of monster.”

“A m-monster?! I thought so!” Lloyd put his hands up.

Eug pointed at Satan. “Your training is to fight that!”

“A monster? Alone? No, wait. Are you a monster tamer?”

This seemed to have impressed Lloyd.

“You sure do jump to conclusions.” Eug grinned. “But no matter. Satan, you’ll be facing this boy.”

“Facing him? Why? And who are you?! Hmm…?”

He was finally getting to train. And with a real-life monster! Lloyd was super pumped and reached out to shake Satan’s hands.

“Thank you so much! I really want to get stronger! Say good-bye to the old weak me! Thanks for helping, Satan!”

“Oh? So you’re weak! You lament the weakness of your kind? You have potential, young man!” Satan boomed.

“Yes! I lament it—human weakness and the feebleness of my heart! I want to hone them both!”

He meant his own shortcomings—not all mankind—but his eyes were so earnest that Satan just assumed they were on the same page.

“Fascinating! And you heard I lamented human weakness and seek the strength necessary to serve me! You have mettle!”

The fact that this conversation was adding up at all was basically a miracle. Watching it, Eug let out a hollow laugh.

“Seta never did listen to anyone else… Guess idiots are all on the same wavelength.”

Satan focused, causing whirlwinds to spring up around him. A sign he was ready for combat.

Lloyd gulped, awkwardly bracing himself. “I’m ready!”

“Come, puny human! Hone yourself all you like!”

“Okay! Hyaaahhhh!” With a cry, Lloyd swung his fist.

Shnkkkk! Satan soaked it with a smile. He was a demon lord! That meant he was obviously strong enough to take even Lloyd’s punch.

“Not bad! However! Your blows are weaker than rocks thrown by children! …Those were very painful.”

“I’ll try my best!”

A series of thumps and impact noises followed.

“Hurt him bad enough that he can’t move… Huh, they’re not listening.” Eug stretched like she’d just wrapped up a job and went back to her lab.

“Gotta adjust Surtr till it’s useful… I hate wasted effort as much as I hate failure.”

“Rahhhhh!”

Lloyd and Satan’s battle was really heating up.

As always, Lloyd’s punches packed a superhuman wallop, and they were shaking the very air—but Satan wasn’t a demon lord for nothing. He was blocking the blows and dispensing advice.

“There’s a lot of power behind each hit, but your swings are far too wide! Go for a smaller, snappier flurry!”

“O-okay! Like this?!”

“Not bad! But still not enough!” Satan caught Lloyd’s fist and flung him through the air.

He was sent rocketing up through the hole in the cave roof to the world outside, and Satan went flying up after him. The Sacred Mountain was bathed in moonlight. From up here, they could see rocks in all directions.

Lloyd and Satan landed on those rocks, looking grim.

A massive gust of wind swept down from the peak.

Satan basked in it for a moment. “You’ve got potential in close quarters. But punches alone lack variety. You should add in some projectiles, which will allow you to attack from a distance.”

“From a distance?”

“Hmm.” Satan nodded. “Doesn’t matter what kind of projectiles! You always need a way to make your opponent flinch, or they’ll find a way to turn the tables on you. Any ideas? Magic, skills, anything’ll do. Go on, show me!”

“Got it! I can only use beginner spells… Will those do?”

“Of course! Even beginner spells can be a powerful weapon! If you wish to serve me, show me everything you’ve got!”

“Okay! Here goes!”

“Come at me!”

Lloyd cast his beginner spell—which, naturally, was incredibly powerful.

“A-Aero!”

A super-compressed swirl of wind rocketed toward Satan.

“Er…that’s the strongest Aero I’ve ever seeeeeen?! Craaaaap!”

Lloyd…had cast with his eyes closed. He was very surprised when he opened them and there was no sign of Satan.

“H-huh?”

Satan emerged from the shadows behind him, looking very shocked.

“Th-that was close! You really oughtta warn people! I was so surprised, I had to dodge by entering your shadow! Was that really Aero? That was more like a tornado!”

Satan had entirely forgot to maintain his grand tone.

“S-sorry,” Lloyd stammered, looking worried. “Was my Aero that weird?”

“Weird?”

“Was it?”

“It was amazing! It’s not often that the great Satan is genuinely surprised! You should be proud.”

Lloyd brightened up immediately. “R-really? Thank you! I know you’re just being nice, but I appreciate it!”

“Hmm! I’m not being nice! Have you never been praised before?”

“I—I guess the teachers at school did say I was good at wind magic…and I guess it has helped in fights before. But I was always barely hanging on and don’t really remember what happened.”

“I bet that’s the problem! Lloyd, when you chanted that spell, your eyes were closed. This is a manifestation of your lack of confidence. You assume you’ll fail, and you’re afraid to watch it happen! But succeed or fail, you need to observe the outcome with your own eyes.”

Satan was in full teacher mode now, and Lloyd’s eyes went wide. “Thank you.” He bowed his head.

When he looked up, there was a cloud cast over the boy’s face. What now?

“My lack of confidence…? I know…I really don’t have any.”

Satan walked over to him and knelt down to match Lloyd’s eye level. He smiled.

“I’m not saying you have to be confident all the time. But it won’t hurt to be more confident than you are. As it is, you’re just hurting yourself.”

“I’m…hurting myself?”

“Yes! And you are your own lifelong partner, one who’s with you from the moment of birth until the moment you die. If you can’t even believe in yourself, that’s very damaging!”

“A…partner…”

“Never turn your back on that partner! Know thy enemy, know thyself, and you shall fear not a hundred battles! Keep an eye on your goals, know what you can do, have faith in yourself—and any dream can come true. That’s how I got into a top-tier college!”

“Coll…ege? Is that like a military academy?”

Satan appeared to be as confused by the term as Lloyd. “Mm? Maybe it’s a school for demon lords? Odd…but no matter! Lloyd, Aero will be a great weapon for you. Anything else? Any other magic worthy of my servant?”

“…No, the only combat magic I have is Aero. That’s why I came to the Ascorbic Domain looking to learn an ultimate attack.”

Satan stroked his chin, thinking. “Hmm… Have you ever been hit by a stroke of inspiration in the middle of a fight? Like, ‘if I do this, it’ll make things much easier’? Those mid-battle instincts often lead directly to growth.”

Lloyd, too, put his hand to his chin, racking his brains. A human and a demon lord, thinking about ultimate attacks together. It wasn’t a thing you saw every day.

After a while, Lloyd’s face brightened like a light bulb after someone hit a switch. Clearly, he’d thought of something.

“Now that you mention it, I was casting Aero with my feet to make myself go faster, and I was able to fly for a short time, too! I was just trying to copy a support magic spell called Godspeed…but ultimately, it was just an ordinary punch with a bit more speed added. I don’t know if you can call that an ultimate attack…”

“Hmm…it could well be one, but… Aha! You said earlier that this was your only ‘combat magic.’ What noncombat magic do you have?”

“Oh, I know a rune that summons clouds and makes it rain. But…”

“Rain… Rain. Hmm. Rain and wind… Oh, a storm! I’ve got it! A brilliant idea!”

“A…a storm?”

“Yes! Exactly! Lloyd, combine Aero and those clouds, wrapping yourself in a storm! Call it a unite magic, like in that old game!”

“G-game?”

“Argh, you wouldn’t get that. Kids today don’t even own consoles! They all just watch Let’s Plays on their smartphones… Talk about a generation gap!”

“Is this a board game? Or a card game?”

“…Hmm. I could’ve sworn there was a game, but… Odd. I’m sure I played it…I think.”

Satan seemed confused by his own words, but he quickly shook it off and focused on Lloyd’s ultimate-attack training.

“Never mind! For the sake of the world! You need an ultimate attack! Try practicing with a weaker version of Aero. It’s important to control your output!”

“Er, but if I make the spell any weaker…”

“Throwing yourself into everything at full power is admirable, but keeping your eyes open and controlling it properly is also vital. One step at a time. First, you need to generate a small storm around yourself. Think you can?”

“I-I’ll try!”

Looking very serious, Lloyd took Satan’s advice to heart and began drawing an ancient rune on his palm. Then he released it toward the sky.

As clouds gathered overhead, Satan yelped, “L-Lloyd?! What the—? Who taught you that?!”

“Um, the chief of my village. It’s an ancient rune! Our chief is really amazing. She doesn’t just make it rain! She can also bring down meteors. What about it?”

“—Never mind. Go ahead.”

Lloyd went back to his ultimate-attack training.

Meanwhile, Satan was muttering to himself, like there was something nagging at the back of his mind.

“Rain… Meteors… Runes? What is it? I can’t quite remember…”

Meanwhile, on Azami’s East Side…Merthophan had cut through the unsavory nightlife district, headed for Marie’s shop.

“Reports said it was around here… Aha.”

With the owner away, the lights were out. Micona was sitting outside, looking forlorn.

“Sniff…”

A pitiable sight indeed. It was hard to tell if this was Micona or Hachiko, the loyal dog.

“What’s going on? How long has she been here?” Merthophan sighed. He was here investigating a complaint from a local resident.

Micona seemed disinclined to move. Concerned she was on a path to becoming the iconic statue where couples met up for dates, he asked, “Why are you sitting here, Micona Zol?”

Like she’d been waiting for someone to ask, Micona burst into tears.

“Colonel Merthophaaaaaaaaan! Marie’s gooooone! Lloyd is off in some foreign realm, and I thought this was my chance to settle our battle! But my opportunity was an opportunity lost!”

Lord knows what she’d been planning to do with Marie in Lloyd’s absence, but she’d found the shop empty and waited here for three whole days.

“You can’t just sit here till she gets back! Also, I’m not a colonel anymore.”

Unsure what battle she was talking about, Merthophan decided to be pedantic. And he knew where Marie was.

“The prin—witch is an expert on potions. Anzu’s students have been poisoned, so she accompanied the others to the Ascorbic Domain. At my sugge—”

“Who suggested that?! I’ll haunt you!”

“……” Merthophan decided discretion was the better part of valor. “Uhhh, what’s done is done. You’re bothering the locals. Time you went home.”

She started whining like a dog that wanted to go somewhere its owner wouldn’t let it. Merthophan felt like a father dealing with a toddler’s tantrum. They were making a scene.

Then a surprising figure appeared.

“What’s this? Why is there a racket outside…? Ugh…”

Alka was dragging her feet, looking utterly worn out.

“What happened to you, Chief Alka?”

“I need energy…Lloyd energy… Oh, Merthophan! Listen! I went all the way out to sea, but there was no sign of Shouma, and I went diving and searching and diving and investigating his misdeeds, but I didn’t figure anything out, and now all the villagers think I was skipping out on real work.”

With the guardian beast gone, Alka was having trouble controlling her own powers, so this work had been extra hard on her.

Alka tried to stagger into the shop…but it was empty.

“L-Lloyd… Er? That’s odd… There’s no lights on. Is he asleep?”

“Uh, Chief…”

In her condition, if she learned Lloyd was gone, she might well explode. Merthophan tried to think of a way to hide it from her, but…

“Lloyd Belladonna’s not here,” Micona announced. Fastball.

“Oof!” The pitch hit Alka square in the heart.

“Augh! Micona Zol!”

“He’s with Marie in the Ascorbic Domain.”

The follow-up pitch hit the batter again! Alka burst into tears.

“A-woof…”

“A-woof…”

Now they were both whining!

“Two of ’em… Argh.”

Merthophan decided it was best to give Alka the whole story. This only pissed her off.

“Argh! I leave for one second, and they traipse off together! Aroo!”

“Argh! If I’d known Marie was going, I would have, too! Aroo!”

They each howled at the sky. Merthophan shook his head, pretty sure where this was going.

“Your next line delivered will be…”

“It’s obvious! Let’s go to the Ascorbic Domain!”

“I’ll come with you, Alka!”

“Figured as much.”

It was all too predictable, and he just rolled his eyes.

“If I let you two fly off, it’ll cause an international incident. I’d better go with you.”

“You’re in, Merthophan?!”

“Yeah, the Domain grows many shiitake mushrooms and daikon radishes. It’s a perfect chance to take a look!”

He was every bit as predictable.

“Let’s go invade, Alka!”

“Mm. But I’m exhausted… I won’t be able to fly for long.”

“Fly…? Huh?” Micona had not yet grasped Alka’s true nature.

“I’ll fill you in on the chief’s superhuman skills later—but let me look into how we can get to the Domain.”

With that, Merthophan immediately began removing his clothes, stripping right down to his loincloth.

“Heyyy?! Merthophan?! What are you doing?!” Even Alka was visibly appalled.

“Divining our path. The front flap of the loincloth is very good for it. Okay, loincloth!”

Bleep! (What a strangely electronic sound.)

“Point the way to the Ascorbic Domain!”

A detailed map of the route from their present location to the Domain appeared on his loincloth flap. A bizarre sight, indeed.

“…The heck is that?”

“This loincloth…was a newfangled cloth tablet?”

Oblivious to the girls’ horror, Merthophan swiped the surface of his loincloth with practiced ease.

“Hmm…one steamship is out of commission after a speeding incident, so the first available ship is the day after tomorrow. How fast were they going?”

That was your favorite love-crazed stalker’s doing.

“The day after tomorrow? Then I guess I’ll rest a bit and recover enough to get back in the hustle.”

“I’ll go home and get ready. For anything… Mwa-ha-ha.”

“Anything that won’t cause an international incident, please.”

And thus, three deviants agreed to crash the Ascorbic party uninvited. What would become of that?

Meanwhile, with Allan…

“Sir Allan! I made you some scones.”

“Uh, thanks.”

He was at a total loss. Renge was killing him with kindness.

And the half-naked macho man was nearby, smiling. This just made Allan feel like he was being watched, giving him an ulcer.

“Why is this happening? If they find out how weak I am, I’m dead meat…”

The scones turned to ash in his mouth, so he took a big gulp of tea.

Renge was delighted to witness it. She’d made the tea herself and was thrilled to see him enjoying the cup!

“Way to knock it back! I’ll get you another cup.”

“No, no, this is plenty…”

“No need to restrain yourself, Sir Allan! The tea runs as hot as the blood in my heart!”

“We’ll have it ready momentarily. Bring the device!”

A student dressed as a butler arrived with an oddly modified pot.

“What’s this?” Allan asked.

“This is called an electric kettle. You do this, and it boils the water in no time! Isn’t it wonderful?”

“In no… Wow, that is impressive!” Allan had been doubtful, but it really did boil the water in a matter of seconds. He grinned like a little kid. “You’ve got some great things here.”

“I’m pleased you agree.”

As Renge busied herself with the tea, Nexamic jumped in.

“That’s not all! You see these abs? I mean, this device for training abs?”

“A what?”

“Behold! The electric absorber! Simply put this cute item on, and it’ll train your abs for you! And these are my hamstrings!”

Those were unrelated, but Nexamic struck a pose that showed off the device in question.

“It keeps my body beautiful! All thanks to Eug!”

“Yes, Eug has given us everything.”

Eug. That name got Allan’s attention.

“…Hmm?”

Lena Eug. The very person behind the chaos of the Jiou exhibition match.

“Marie and Riho said she was trying to develop the world’s technology…by causing a war.” He gulped.

Two enemy clans had joined forces against the ruler of the Domain, employing borderline criminal tactics.

“They aren’t bad people—I’ve been with them long enough to know that.”

They had some strange ideas about Anzu.

Strange devices. Strange poison.

“So she’s behind all this?”

If that was true, he couldn’t just stand by. Plus, he was sick of being the last to find out and being at the mercy of his situation.

“This sounds worth asking about… Maybe I can find an excuse to rejoin the others.”

“Uh…Sir Allan?”

His mind made up, Allan grinned. “Those devices are amazing! Renge, Nexamic, can you tell me more about their inventor?”

““Gladly!””

The joy in their smiles made him feel rather guilty.