Chapter 1

A Cliché Embodied: Suppose You Woke Up in Another World

On a corner of an island in the south seas…behind white walls, long and tall, surrounding a sprawling swath of land…were buildings—and they, too, were white.

Framed by newly green leaves, they glittered in the sun like something sacred. The surrounding walls and contrast between the green and white gave it an air of secrecy. But before anyone mistook it for an ancient ruin, they’d see the trucks hauling cargo in and out, the wildlife fleeing the watchful eyes of the hidden cameras, and what were almost certainly infrared sensors—all of which would quickly drag them back to reality.

The cluster of buildings housing this state-of-the-art technology was the Cordelia Research Institute.

Nearly an hour’s drive from the capital of an emerging world power, the facility was conducting research that was virtually unknown to outsiders, aside from that they’d assembled the best of the best from around the world and were doing something no layman could possibly hope to comprehend.

To pass through those walls, you had to enter a gate laden with security cards and facial-recognition software—like a venture start-up with cash to blow. Beyond the doors was a lounge filled with couches ready for business deals, decorated with potted plants, watercoolers, and aquariums with tropical fish.

This early in the morning, the only sound was the bubbling of these fish tanks.

Just as the morning sun peeped out from between the mountains, and its rays poured through the windows, a man came in the entrance, shiftily scoping his surroundings. He was headed toward the back.

“…No one here yet.”

He was in his midtwenties, on the thin side, and with distinctively messy hair. It was hard to tell if this was the natural state of his hair, an intentional styling choice gone horribly wrong, or if he was just terrible at using wax… At the very least, his hairdo made you think.

His shirt and slacks were wrinkled, the knot of his tie loose, and a faint boozy odor clung to him—and that was definitely a look of guilt in those slightly droopy eyes. Odds were high he was rolling in after an all-night bender.

Certain he was alone, he let out a sigh of relief.

“Whew…good, now I just have to reach my room without anyone—”

“Hmm, another all-nighter, Seta?”

A voice from behind. Seta flinched.

“Aughhh! D-Director Ishikura?” He spun around, facing a tall, gaunt man in a white lab coat.

Ishikura had hollow cheeks and narrow eyes that made him look like a snake. And those eyes were looking right through Seta.

“Greeting me with a scream of horror? I believe the appropriate response is ‘good morning.’”

“G-good morning, Director Ishikura.”

“Morning. Were you out for a jog? Your appearance would give anyone Japanese other ideas. Do try to avoid these misunderstandings.”

Ishikura was a master of deadpan spite.

Seta managed a polite chuckle. His fingers slipped into his hairstyle, scratching awkwardly.

The director sighed like a father with a constant disappointment for a son. Their interaction made it clear Seta had a habit of being out until morning.

“The meeting isn’t until the afternoon, but…your all-night binges are getting a tad too frequent.”

This was a perfectly reasonable observation, but Seta tried to argue against him.

“Yeah, but my favorite hostess is being lured away by another— You know what? Never mind! Uh, I really blew the presentation yesterday, huh?”

“Indeed. Your words lacked bite, and your attempts to lighten the mood made absolutely no sense.”

Clearly, Ishikura was well aware he’d been nursing those wounds in a cabaret. Seta immediately started spluttering excuses. “So you see…I thought it would be good training! Get better at talking to girls!”

“Are you a complete nitwit?”

“No? I mean, I graduated from the best school in Japan! And the training went well! Everyone laughed at my jokes! I’m sure the next presentation will be much better. I just wish I could be that funny every time…”

“It’s her job to make shallow small talk seem exciting and to laugh at a client’s tiresome jokes. She’s clearly far better at her occupation than you are at yours.”

This glare was so intense, Seta visibly flinched.

“The sinister snake stare!”

“I am not a snake.”

“You seethe like one! But like you said, the meeting’s not till this afternoon. I have time! So let me have a little nighttime fun.”

People were starting to trickle in, and Seta pressed his hands together in prayer, hoping to put an end to this scolding. But the director simply shook his head. “Nope,” he said flatly. “You’ll be nodding off all day. If you must go, save it for the weekend. And…”

“And what?”

“If the bigwigs drop in on the meeting, I may not be able to cover for you. It could lead to—”

Ishikura ran his thumb across his throat. Seta gulped.

“D-does the president really stop by that often?”

The director frowned slightly and nodded. “She was delighted by the success of the rainfall experiment. All worked up about bringing down meteors next! She’s weirdly into it.”

“Seriously? Didn’t seem like the type to be into space stuff.”

“Let’s hope that’s what it is. She might be into something else entirely…”

“Like?”

“Well, this is just my personal take, but…”

Before he said another word, a voice rang out behind him.

“Move your butt, Director.”

They turned around to find a black-haired woman, hands jammed deep in the pockets of her lab coat. She was only five foot three, and her raven-black hair flowed to her waist. She was barely into her twenties and still had a bit of a baby face, but the look in her eyes was all grown-up and seemed to pierce right through them. She acted like the world was a source of perpetual disappointment, and she was waging a silent war against it.

“Ruka Akizuki… Oh, I beg your pardon.” Ishikura stepped aside, clearly daunted. The crowd around were very aware of her presence… She was obviously the star of the show here.

There was another woman following close on her heels.

“Yeah, yeah, move it. You too, Satan. What, you and the director doing a postmortem on yesterday? There’s no salvaging that mess. Nothing you said got through to anyone, so you might as well have been talking into a mirror.”

Also on the small side, the woman had light blue hair and a snarky grin. She looked more like a college student than a researcher, but she clearly had it out for Seta.

“Must you always be so harsh, Eung? Alka, call her off! She’s your friend, isn’t she?”

“………”

“Alka! Don’t ignore me!”

Akizuki never slowed down, but Ishikura called after her.

“Akizuki, I know you’ve been helping the other group with their biological restoration, but that’s been tabled. We need to get the meteor experiment in shape first. At least have it ready to go on paper.”

“Fine.”

This curt response made the director scratch his cheek.

Eung looked annoyed. “What am I, chopped liver?”

“Eung, your assistance is… Hmm?” He broke off mid-mollification. Akizuki had wheeled round to face him.

“You’re sure?” she snapped.

“About what?”

“Wasn’t biological restoration your top priority?”

“…Other things came up. Regulations tie my hands.”

“Hmph.”

“We still have time. Please do what you can, Ruka Akizuki. And you, too, Lena Eung.”

“Fine.”

Akizuki nodded and strode off toward the laboratory depths.

“Don’t just tack me on at the end, Director! Augh, wait for me, Alka!” Eung ran off, trying to catch up.

When they were gone, Seta sighed. “Oof. Our top performers never disappoint. But back to our earlier topic—Director, your personal take?”

Ishikura shook his head and fixed another snake stare on Seta.

The Ascorbic Domain. In the mountains high above Eug’s underground lab…

The moon shone down upon the boulders. Only short grass and scant scraggly trees grew here. Illuminated as if by the lights of a stage, a man in noble garb was perched on a rock, rubbing his temples, a look of consternation on his haunted visage.

A demon lord—Satan.

He had called himself the demon lord of the night, but now he seemed to have remembered something important—and his mannerisms had grown distinctly human. Almost like a child who’s found themselves somewhere unfamiliar.

Next to him was a puzzled-looking boy, clearly of a gentle disposition. Lloyd Belladonna.

He hailed from Kunlun, a village populated by the descendants of heroes. Convinced he was weak, the boy had come to the holy training grounds—the Ascorbic Domain—only to double down on his innate obliviousness. And that had led him to somehow become the student of a demon lord…without realizing his teacher’s true nature.

As for Satan, meeting Lloyd had jogged memories of his past.

He learned runes from…Chief Alka?

Alka? Runes?! …If she’s Ruka, and those are her research project…

Satan’s mind was having flashbacks to a distant past, before he was called a demon lord—when he was human. When he snapped to his senses, he found himself asking Lloyd the question.

“What year is it? AD?”

“AD?” Lloyd asked, looking baffled. Like a student who’d been unexpectedly called by his teacher. “What’s that? I can tell you the Azami founding year, but I’ve never heard anyone give a year in AD before. Sorry.”

Satan slipped his fingers into his hairdo, scratching. “Right…I should have guessed. Why would you know that?”

He slapped his knees, moving on. “So what do you think? You like the move I taught you?”

“It’s great! I’m getting much better at controlling Aero. You’re one amazing monster, Satan! Like a real teacher.”

Satan laughed out loud. “Ha-ha, a monster, am I? But with real magic… It’s like we’re in a game! What the hell happened to the world?”

He put one hand to his chin, probing his memories.

“Hmm…the demon lord of the night…or emperor? I remember being called that. Argh, my memories are so hazy… I feel like something happened to the people I cared about, but…”

He trailed off.

Meanwhile, Lloyd suddenly let out a weird yelp.

“What’s wrong, Lloyd?”

“I—I didn’t tell anyone I was coming here! And the moon’s so low in the sky—it’s almost morning! If I don’t head back, they’ll start to worry about me.”

Lloyd bowed low. “I hate to run! Especially in the middle of training. Can we continue some other time? I’d love to learn more!”

“You’re going back…where?”

“Back to my friends. I know it’s really sudden—sorry. But…they worry about me.”

“Oh. Then…not to impose, but would you mind if I accompany you?”

Lloyd blinked at this suggestion but quickly broke into a smile, nodding. “Oh, yes! Let’s do that. It’ll let me thank you for all you’ve done!”

Lloyd’s smile was infectious, and Satan was soon grinning, too. “So where might these friends be?”

“Um…well. The other side of those mountains…”

“That’s…pretty far. What say I give you a ride?”

“A ride? On your back?! Gosh!” Lloyd was suitably impressed.

Before his very eyes, Satan transformed. His new shape looked rather like a lion—but with jet-black wings.

Lloyd’s eyes shone like stars. “A second form! Wow, you really are a monster! All this time, I was secretly wondering if you were actually just a normal human—oops, sorry.”

By anyone else’s standards, having a second form was proof that someone was a demon lord.

Satan’s lion maw curled into a grimace, and he shrugged his wings. “Taking this form should not feel this natural…and now I’m wondering what happened to me, let alone the world. But I can save that for later! First, let’s head to civilization and learn more about this situation.”

He knelt down so Lloyd could climb aboard.

“Right, Lloyd! On my back!”

“Yes, sir! Golly, your fur is so soft!”

Lloyd must have been exhausted. No sooner did he lean against the demon lord’s mane than he was nodding off.

Satan glanced back at him and shook his head. “Who lets their guard down around a demon lord?” he muttered—impressed instead of shocked. “Rest if you like, Lloyd. I don’t mind.”

“N-no! I’m awake. I want to review what you taught me as we fly!”

This boy was far too dedicated. Satan sighed. “You’re not gonna rest when we get back, are you?”

The image of a girl crossed his mind. A girl so lost in her research she worked until her batteries ran out. “Alka…are you hale and hearty?”

She was so “hale” that her age had regressed and so “hearty” that she’d dropped a meteor on her own head and failed to notice.

Wanting to give Lloyd a rest, Satan cast a mild sleep spell on him. The demon lord’s eyes took on an eerie glow… And Lloyd began to snore.

Certain the boy was asleep, Satan nodded. “He pointed me that way. Maybe I’ll take the scenic route, give him time to rest.”

He flew off, doing a slow circle toward his destination.

Glancing over his shoulder like they were driving home from the amusement park and the kids had fallen asleep in the back seat, Satan took his time reaching the Kyounin clan headquarters.

That morning, in said headquarters… The imposing temple was bathed in morning light—and the sounds of unbridled panic.

“Aaaaaaaah! Auuughhhh!”

This bloodcurdling scream was coming from Lloyd’s biggest psycho stalker, the Cursed Belt Princess herself—Selen Hemein. Hot on her heels were the female mercenary Riho, the martial artist Phyllo, and Lloyd’s roommate, the witch Marie.

“Calm down, Selen! You’re always crazy, but today you’re extra nuts!”

“…Be still… Be still…”

“Argh, why is this happening?!”

That was a good question…and here is an explanation for it.

Having made Lloyd a dish of poison (a love potion, she said), Selen learned nothing from this failure and had risen early to brew a new concoction.

“I can’t believe my love potion was poison…and poisons don’t affect Lloyd, so it was a complete waste of money.”

One would have hoped she’d see the other downside, but…Selen likely would have happily poisoned him if only that were possible. But it seemed the financial hit had at least encouraged her to try for an actual meal this time.

“If love potions won’t work, then I’ll just have to make an aphrodisiac!”

This stalker had spied a new educational opportunity.

If she had been a computer program, her “learning process” would have required a complete recode from line one, but as it was, Selen had not hesitated to throw in any and all ingredients that she had heard could encourage “vigor.”

“Now then, the vital taste test! I want Sir Lloyd to love it so much he says, ‘Can I have another plate…and a helping of you, Selen?’ A development both idealistic and realistically achievable!”

The way she wriggled made it clear “realistic” played no part in this, but Selen took a sip of her vigor-boosting dish. It was essentially a rice porridge, with a mystery viscosity, and the flavor provoked a mild frown.

“It’s lacking something,” she muttered.

Ordinarily, the other girls might have stepped in here… But no one stopped Selen as she grabbed some nearby seasonings and sprinkled them liberally in her dish.

“Ugh! Too salty! Guess I’d better add some sugar.”

Salt and sugar did not actually balance each other out, but facts never stopped Selen. Naturally, this was not going to make the dish taste good. Her frown deepened. She grimaced.

“Ugh. What a full-bodied…aftertaste. Neither the salt nor the sugar are pulling their weight! I’ll have to thin it with water.”

Blaming her ingredients, she adjusted the seasonings over and over, sampling the dish again each time. The result…

“Hisssssssssssssssssss…” She gained far too much vigor herself, and her engines went into overdrive.

The belt on her hips—Vritra—realized her condition far too late. “M-Mistress! Oh dear! She’s completely out of control!”

“Uhooooooooooooooo!”

A cry of animalistic lust echoed through the morn.

Kyounin clan warriors erupted into the halls, naginata in hand, scanning for foes. Selen’s friends heard the commotion, quickly dressed, and came hustling out as well.

“What’s going…? Selen?!”

“What in the…? Yo, m’lady!”

“…Oh no… She’s gone berserk…”

And thus, the morning became a horror show.

Selen was using her belt like a tentacle, grabbing rafters and pillars to hurl herself around at breakneck speeds.

“My apologies, student chums!” Vritra called. “You see, she blah-blah-blah…”

“Blither-blather-blither? You’re kidding?! I knew she was dumb but this dumb?!”

Who went berserk taste testing? Riho’s objections were tenfold.

“I should have noticed sooner!” Vritra wailed. “She’s taken control of the belt! You’ll have my formal letter of apology on your desk at a later date!”

“If she’s boosting vitality, then her goal was…” Marie grimaced.

Selen’s cry of love shook the walls. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Sir Llooooooyd!”

“““Thought so!”””

What would happen if Selen the lust monster came anywhere near Lloyd? Just the thought made the other girls instantly band together to prevent that at any cost.

“Stop her if it kills you!”

“………Mm.”

“Time to get real serious!”

The makeshift avengers had faced plenty of unknown organisms before. With a motive in common, they were swiftly in full team-up mode.

“Ahhhhh…ah?”

The tentacle (belt) had Selen whipping through the rafters like some eldritch creature, but with three powerful girls on her heels, her animal instincts sensed danger, and she swiftly changed course.

“…Did we lose her?”

“Nope! She’s going outside so she can break into Lloyd’s room through the window!”

Marie’s prediction proved accurate! Selen ricocheted off a pillar and vaulted out of doors.

In the distance, the Kyounin warrior women were yelling, “She’s through the defensive lines!”

“Damn, she’s trying to bust into the main temple!”

They had to hurry…but as they did, a new voice called out—the hearty voice of that older girl who’s always got your back in a pinch.

“What’s all the commotion?”

“Y-you’re…?”

In full kimono, with a reddish tachi at her hips.

“Heh… Seems like just the role for me.”

Stepping in like she owned the place (because she did) was the current head of the Kyounin clan and ruler of the entire Ascorbic Domain—Anzu Kyounin.

“…Lady Anzu.”

“Sorry I took so long. I had my head buried in research all night…but what are we dealing with? The Audocs? An assassin from the Tiger clan?”

She wasn’t called the Sword God for nothing. When she put her hand on the hilt of her blade and grinned, everyone gulped.

“I may have been a bit undignified of late, but here’s my chance to make up for that.”

Selen and Merthophan had run her ragged in Azami, giving her a lifelong fear of belts and loincloths. Plus, the ruler of the holy training grounds had struggled to provide any training that would actually help Lloyd, leading to a crisis of confidence. So she was extra motivated to prove herself here.

“Er, Lady Anzu, actually…”

“Don’t worry. I won’t lose to anything! Long as it isn’t a wriggling belt, loincloth, or treant.”

“That’s exactly what it is,” Marie almost said, but before she could, Anzu stopped her, eyes turning toward the source of the uproar.

“My blade is nothing to trifle with. Don’t you worry.”

“Yeah, we know, but this time—”

“Doesn’t matter who it is! Problems in the Ascorbic Domain are mine to solve. Prepare yourself, intruder! I fear nothing but wriggly belts, loincloths, and treants!”

“…But it’s the girl with the belt…and she’s gone.”

“Aughhhh! I hate wriggly wooorms!”

With perfect comedic timing, Anzu spun right around and came running back. The three girls carried on with their original plan as if none of this had happened.

“Marie, Phyllo, let her do her thing until she reaches Lloyd’s room.”

“…But…his chastity…” Phyllo objected to Riho’s suggestion. An entirely valid point.

“I know! But he’s the only one who can stop her now. Especially with the ruler running thataway.” Riho glanced back down the hall, where the Sword God (LOL) was cowering in a corner.

“Y-you’ve got the wrong ruler!”

“We didn’t see a thing.” Marie had disgraced herself often enough to be very sympathetic.

They heard more yelps of horror from down the hall. Selen must be in the garden by now.

“…And after she does her thing?”

“We’re gonna make Lloyd say, ‘I don’t like you like this, Selen.’ That oughtta shut her down instantly. I’m sure she has a fragment of her human soul remaining, and we’ve gotta bet on that.”

“…If Master said that, it would quiet any soul. And send them to heaven.”

“Right, so we’ve gotta reach his room before they have any fleshy contact, explain the situation, and get him to speak the mantra in question. I dub this Operation: Selen Buster.”

Riho and Phyllo saluted like proper soldiers. Leaving behind the quivering object that had once been Anzu, they all made like the wind to Lloyd’s room.

The entire Kyounin complex was now in a state of panic. Warrior women were bellowing orders; shamans were futilely waving ritual wands—and the three girls sped through them all, taking the shortest route to Lloyd’s room.

They arrived out of breath, hearing Selen’s impassioned bellows outside his windows.

They were almost out of time.

“Knooooock, knoooock…!” Selen was pounding on the wall. This was well beyond knocking.

“Please don’t be too late!”

The three girls tumbled into the room just as the window frame snapped.

“Hah-hahh!”

Right before their very eyes, Selen dived into Lloyd’s bed. Riho’s fist hit the floor in anguish.

“Damn! A second too late! Run for it, Lloyd! It’s an emergency!”

No answer came. Selen had her arms around his blankets and was thrashing a lot, but when they squinted…the bed was otherwise empty.

“He’s…not here?” Riho said, her legs buckling with relief.

“…Bathroom?” Phyllo suggested.

“Either way, stroke of luck!” Marie breathed a sigh of relief. “Imagining the results if he’d been here gives me chills.”

Selen was now rolling around the bed like a cat on catnip. “Sir Lloyd’s scent! His odor! His fragraaaaance! Huff!”

“Right, let’s just keep Selen locked down here while we locate…”

Then a scream echoed from elsewhere on the compound.

One warrior after another bellowed, “Monster!”

“Wh-what? But Selen’s right here!”

“…Another one?”

“We’d better check it out!”

Selen was busy rummaging through the chest of drawers like a proper JRPG hero, so they left her to it and raced outside.

They reached the garden and found the warrior women cowering and Anzu staring up at the sky, a grim look on her face.

“Lady Anzu, you’ve recovered.”

“Yeah…this one’s not wriggly.”

Not a word you used while looking that serious, and Marie gave her a brief look of pity.

“You’re stuck like this forever,” she whispered.

“Not worried about that now, witch,” Anzu said. “This one’s dangerous.”

“Oh…wait, what is that?!”

In the skies above…framed against the sunrise was a winged lion.

The visual alone suggested unfathomable power. Instinctively sensing this was a threat far beyond any mere monster, even Phyllo staggered backward.

“…A demon lord……!” Forcing her legs to stop shaking, she managed to raise her fists.

Marie was looking equally grim, one hand on her hat to keep the winds from sweeping it away—looking like a mage before the final battle.

“Yeah, that’s definitely a demon lord. Why is it here?”

“! It’s coming right at us!”

The demon lord was coming in for a landing in the temple garden.

The impact shook the ground. Everyone’s legs buckled.

As everyone watched with bated breath, the demon lord—Satan—spoke words that came as…quite a surprise.

“We’re here, Lloyd! C’mon, wakey, wakey!”

He was like a taxi driver shaking a sleeping passenger awake. It completely dissipated the tension.

Before anyone’s comprehension could catch up, Lloyd sat up, sleepily rubbing his eyes.

“Oh, good morning, guys… Guess I drifted off.”

“L-Lloyd’s riding a demon lord?!”

He always came with an element of surprise, and the girls had all gotten used to it, but nothing could have prepared them for him saying good morning from the back of a beast.

“Uh…Lloyd,” Anzu managed to say, pointing at the beast—her hand shaking.

Her look was full of questions. Where’d you go? Who is this? Why were you asleep on his back?

Lloyd simply registered all of this as her reaction to a stranger showing up uninvited and started doing introductions. “Oh, I should explain, huh? This monster’s name is Satan.”

“S-Satan…?” Riho stammered. “Wait, ‘monster’…? When Lloyd says monster, that means…”

Lloyd nodded. “Yes, apparently he’s a type of monster known as a ‘demon lord.’ Ever heard of them?”

It was rare for any emotions to show on Phyllo’s face, but currently there was a bead of sweat running down her brow, and the edge of her mouth was twitching.

“…That clinches it,” she said.

“Yeah…I suspected, but…”

Oblivious to the consternation he was provoking, Lloyd smiled blithely. “He helped me out yesterday, so to thank him, I invited him along!”

Only Lloyd would ever introduce a demon lord like a friend you happened to bump into.

“Nope!” Marie yelped. “Send him away!”

She sounded like a mother ordering her kid to put the stray puppy back where he found it. This was not far off, really.

Lloyd pretty much reacted like those kids do. “Sorry. I get why you’d say that.”

“Yeah! I mean, it’s a de—”

“At this size, he could never fit inside! Satan, can you go back to your original form?”

Twisting the lion’s maw into a grin, Satan nodded. “Easily done… I suspect that’s not the lady’s concern, but this form is certainly aggravating the issue.”

Satan returned to human form, muttering to himself.

When Riho saw his nobleman’s clothes and spiky hairstyle, she let out a cry of surprise.

“Ahhhhh! You! You’re the demon lord who showed up in Kunlun and offered me half the world, and then Chief Alka bopped you on the head with a meteor!”

“Mm… Oh! I remember you.”

Riho had her mithril hand raised, braced for combat. “I don’t need half the world! I may have freaked out last time, but Lloyd’s here, so…”

Satan waved her down. “A painful blunder,” he said, bowing like he’d got a bit too drunk the night before…and disgraced himself in front of the exact same people he was now having a business meeting with.

“Uh… Your whole vibe seems different.”

“Yeah, at the time, I was convinced I actually was a demon lord, so… I mean, I still technically am one, but… Urgh, it’s like being reminded of all your cringiest moments.”

None of them had ever seen a demon lord wince before. Heedless to this, a far more wince-worthy opponent burst onto the scene.

“Sir Lloyd’s vooooiiice!”

Berserker Selen. Having inhaled her fill of Lloyd’s lingering scent, she’d detected the arrival of the man himself and come running. At her age, it was far more appealing to get the scent straight from the source.

“Oh dear! People, please! My mistress has powered up and is craving Lloyd’s odor!”

Selen was in her second form. Satan didn’t matter to her—nothing but Lloyd did. She made a beeline right for him.

“G-good morning, Selen,” Lloyd said, completely ignoring her condition like it was just her usual deal. In a way, it was!

“Good morniiiiiiing!!!” Selen yelled, like she was pouncing on a feast.

Indeed, her mouth opened wide, and she attempted to take a bite. An unprecedented approach to a morning greeting.

“Hmm, are these side effects of some medication?” Satan asked, correctly diagnosing her perversion. He stuck his hand in his hairdo, scratching…then began chanting a spell.

His eyes lit up with a sinister light. Selen took one look at it…and crumpled, collapsing on the floor.

“…Selen!” Phyllo moved to catch her.

“Zzzz…Sir Lloyd… Mmph…”

“…………She’s asleep.” This made even Phyllo’s eyes widen.

“Yo, what did you do to the lady?” Riho demanded.

“Some sort of hypnosis? I mean…I’m called the demon lord of the night, so…honestly, I’m a bit freaked out that I can just do that, myself.”

Everyone took that as a typical demon lord humblebrag, but he meant it more as “…I thought I was a normal human, and this new ability scares me shitless.” The man using the spell was the most surprised by it.

The demon lord Satan was clearly powerful…yet not that imposing. The crowd seemed unsure how to handle him.

Utterly oblivious to this, Lloyd bowed his head. “Sorry if I made anyone worry—I gather Selen in particular was up all night!”

Lloyd had somehow interpreted “sampled aphrodisiac stew too much and lost her damn mind” as “up all night sick with worry and was so relieved she fell asleep.”

“I’ll carry her to bed. Then I’ll go help get breakfast ready! Satan, if you don’t mind waiting? It won’t be long.” Lloyd bowed and carried Selen inside…leaving everyone else face-to-face with Satan.

There was a long, awkward silence.

Eventually Anzu whispered (quietly, so Satan couldn’t hear), “What the hell is Lloyd thinking? Didn’t he say something about training?”

“…He went off to train alone…but that would mean…”

“He trained with a demon lord?!”

“Shh, Marie! He’ll hear you!”

Satan definitely had and was awkwardly scratching his head.

The vibe could be equated to that distinctive discomfort that comes when two groups that don’t know each other are at a party and their one mutual acquaintance leaves the room.

Tweet-tweet-tweet… The birds were singing.

The sun’s rays streamed in, the light catching the steam rising from the breakfast spread.

A peaceful start to the fourth day of the Azami contingent’s visit.

In the big hall in the Kyounin mansion, each tray held a bowl containing a mix of rice and wheat, an array of takuan pickles made from a famous Ascorbic Domain daikon radish, and a soup made from something called miso, which was a paste created by fermenting beans.

The hearty main dish was made from salted river fish.

At the table were the Domain’s ruler, Anzu, and their honored guests, Marie, Phyllo, Riho…and the demon lord Satan. One of these members was jarringly out of place, giving the entire scene the vibe of a lowbrow comedy sketch.

Satan was sitting on his knees, slurping miso soup. Everyone was watching, clearly biting back words. Everyone thinking the same thing. “Demon lords drink miso soup…?”

This might seem like Act One of a farce, but…he was a demon lord. Anzu had her katana resting at her side, ready to draw at a moment’s notice.

“So how was Selen?” Riho asked Marie, unable to bear the silence any longer.

“No visible injuries. She’s just sleeping. I’m sure she’ll wake up soon enough. I’m pretty sure there was no brainwashing component to the spell, so I wouldn’t worry too much.”

This last comment made Phyllo breathe a sigh of relief. “…That’s good.”

“Hard to feel any relief,” Anzu grumbled, still very grim. “No telling when he’ll decide to use that evil eye on us. Don’t let your guard down.”

There was sweat on her brow. She was at full alert. In that instant…

Clunk. Satan put the bowl of miso soup down on his tray.

Everyone gulped.

“! What?!”

“No… Did the miso soup displease him?!”

“…It’s certainly possible.”

“Why are we feeding him in the first place? Let’s not forget the fundamental question.”

But what emerged from the demon lord’s lips…was praise.

“That hit the spot! I haven’t had miso soup in years! I think I used to make miso balls at the lab with clams, and it was totally not the same thing… Ah, that takes me back.”

““““……………””””

After a very long silence, Phyllo whispered, “……He’s pleased?”

“Seems like it.”

This demon lord appeared…different from the others. They gave him a long, searching look.

Then Lloyd came in with tea. “Satan, I brought some green tea—hojicha. How are you liking Ascorbic food?”

“It’s fantastic! And really takes me back… Wait, did you say hojicha?!”

Satan took the cup of tea from Lloyd and savored the aroma, looking thoroughly pleased.

“I may have become a demon lord, but I still need my theanine! Soothes the soul. Thanks, Lloyd. Everyone, drink up! It’s good for you!”

Lloyd talked to the demon lord like a kid would the cool college dude next door. It was hard to stay tense with that going on.

“Keeping my hackles up is starting to feel silly.”

“I agree, Lady Anzu.”

No one had expected the demon lord to voluntarily help serve tea, but they all wound up sipping away. Anzu had finally taken her hand off the hilt of her sword and was scratching one cheek.

Seeing everyone settle down, Lloyd took a seat across from Satan—on his knees.

“Satan, if you don’t mind, would you help me train again after breakfast?”

Er…train? With a demon lord?

As everyone gaped, Anzu asked, “So you really did train with a demon lord, Lloyd?”

He looked baffled. “Weren’t you the one who arranged for his instruction?”

“Uh…no, I didn’t. Wouldn’t even know how…”

Which staffing agency provided demon lords? Anzu shook her head, clueless as to what miraculous combination of misunderstandings and coincidence could possibly have led to this.

Lloyd recovered, turning back to Satan.

“Please, there’s a tournament coming up called the Sacred Mountain Rite. This will determine who rules the Domain, but Anzu’s clan have all been poisoned, and we’re the only ones who can fight! I don’t want to bring down the team!”

Meanwhile, Satan was rather flummoxed, having recently realized he was just a former human turned demon lord.

“Well…I thought I was a demon lord when I took you on…but now that I’ve got a fragment of my memories back, uh… I’m just a lowly researcher. This isn’t my field… I don’t have a teaching license! Also, you’re plenty strong, Lloyd?”

Satan hemmed and hawed, but Anzu joined Lloyd on her knees before him.

“Demon lord… Can I call you Satan? Could I ask you to accept his request? He’s more than I can handle, in a good way, if you catch my drift.”

Her methods didn’t really account for a boy this off the charts.

She ruled the holy training grounds and was the kind of woman who would bow her head if it would help a boy who wanted to get stronger. Her characterization might be inconsistent, but the upbeat supportive lady, which was central to her character, was still there.

“Well, I get that, but…I’m none too confident. Back in college, I was surrounded by monsters and always felt inadequate…”

“College? Demon lords go to school?”

“Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just talking to myself.”

Satan clearly had an innate grasp of both Lloyd’s strength and his self-esteem issues.

He scratched his head a moment, thinking. “It won’t be easy, but I can’t just leave him be, huh?” Then he nodded. “Fine, I’ll take him on. I wanna prove I’m harmless anyway.”

The idea of a demon lord calling himself “harmless” made Anzu laugh.

“Harmless, huh? That’s gonna be a tough sell, honestly.”

But she did trust Lloyd—and Satan caught that unvoiced sentiment. He grinned. “If I mess up, come at me with that sword of yours. But I’m not into pain, so…be gentle?”

“You have my gratitude, Satan.”

“Never could turn down a request from a lady. Mm? I feel like that screwed me over a few times…but can’t remember the specifics.”

Meanwhile, Lloyd’s eyes were all sparkles. “Then you’ll help me train?!”

“Yeah, sure.”

Lloyd was so happy he was almost dancing. And that made everyone laugh.

Lost in the laugher was Satan muttering, “…And once that’s done, I’ll have to settle down and figure out what’s going on here. Eung always said if I was in trouble, sit down and make a list of problems. Wonder if they’ll lend me any paper…”

At this point, the sliding doors slammed open.

“Um,” Selen said, looking extremely guilty.

“Oh, feeling better?” Riho asked.

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done.” Selen bowed low. This one was clearly a bit much, even for her.

Her cursed belt, possessed by Vritra, bobbed its buckle, too. “You have my utmost apologies for my own supervisory shortcomings. I, Vritra, have taken the liberty of reprimanding my mistress even as I explained the events that took place. I ask that we consider this matter resolved.”

With an apology this heartful, Anzu was all too willing to accept.

“Nobody got hurt, so don’t worry about it. Any more injuries would mean we couldn’t enter the rite, and that would have been a huge blow! Only real casualty was another thing to add on my list of traumas, ha-ha-ha.”

That laugh sounded a bit hollow. Marie gave her a look of concern.

“You’ve progressed to volunteering jokes about it…”

Anzu just laughed off the pity, too. Selen and Vritra bowed once more.

“Your generosity is most appreciated. You’ll have a formal apology in writing later.”

The belt’s manners and phrasing seemed to be bugging Satan.

“Where have I heard that before…?” he muttered.

Vritra turned toward him, extending the apology. “Satan, was it? Your sensible intervention prevented my mistress from causing any further harm, and you have my utmost gratitude…mm? What?”

“Oh, never mind. Just…something I can’t quite remember.” He stuck his fingers in his hair, scratching.

This seemed to jog Vritra’s memory. “Oh-ho?”

“What is it? …Vritra, was it?”

“Oh, er… That gesture seemed familiar… Urp!”

Before he could remember, Selen gave the belt a sharp yank.

“Come, Vritra! We’ve caused a slew of problems and must make apologies and amends! Specifically, I’m going to go help Sir Lloyd.”

“W-wait, Mistress! Augh, it’s gone! I almost had it, too…!”

Dragged reluctantly away like an eager dog, Vritra vanished after Selen.

Riho scratched a cheek. “And she’s back after Lloyd… Nothing changes her. Not sure I’d even want that, at this point…”

She was primarily relieved to see Selen back on her feet.

Marie still seemed concerned. “But…training with a demon lord? Will that end well?”

“…Can’t wait,” Phyllo grunted.

“You would say that.” Marie laughed.

Satan was still muttering. “This place reminds me of Asia, but not quite… How long has it been?”

“When everyone’s done with their food, let’s meet up in the clearing! Looking forward to it, Satan!”

“Uh, yeah. Same here, Lloyd.”

Lloyd’s good cheer banished Satan’s worries, and he finally cracked a smile.

A steamship was peacefully chugging up the gentle stream that ran through the Ascorbic Domain. The hills on either side gave way to fields, and farmers shouldered large baskets as they worked.

In the distance were mist-shrouded peaks. In the waters around the stern, startled fish jumped.

Tourists on deck were enjoying this picturesque view. This seemed to be a regular ferry bringing tourists into the Domain…but three passengers did not exactly look like tourists. They were seated side by side; they knew each other but weren’t close, like classmates stuck together on a bus during a school trip.

One was a young girl in a white robe. She looked bored, swinging her feet. Alka.

She might look like a nine-year-old, but she was well over a hundred and served as chief of Kunlun, a village populated entirely by descendants of heroes. She didn’t actually do her job often, so it might be better to think of her as one of those little monsters that are always causing trouble.

“So slow…! Right, I’m gonna go inscribe the rev rune on this here engine. It’ll destroy the ship, but we’ll be there in an hour!”

See? Alka, causing trouble.

Next to her was a silver-haired man in Azami military uniform.

“Don’t do that, Chief,” he said sternly.

His name was Merthophan Dextro. The former Azami colonel was currently a military agricultural adviser and Kunlun village farmer. Quite a bizarre hybrid role.

His impassive warning got Alka to pull a face. It’s not every day you saw duck lips on a centenarian.

“Aww. Faster is better!”

“Not always. Especially with your recent difficulties controlling your power output. If you use a weird rune here and mess it up, what’ll happen then?”

“I’ll give you that one.”

“And the report said an impatient tourist overloaded the engine with coal and sent a different ship into overdrive, sustaining irreparable damage. With international tensions rising, creating a further incident could cause a lasting diplomatic rift. Please restrain yourself.”

Despite herself, Alka seemed rather impressed by this monotone lecture.

“You sure talk the talk, Merthophan…but who is this stupid tourist who scrapped the other ship?”

Alka may have met her—a cutie with a big belt. She sprawled back, staring at the sky and thrashing her limbs like a little kid.

“Argh…if only the guardian beast of Kunlun still had his flesh! Vritra! This is all your fault! I could have just flown us right there!”

She let out a sigh so long it deflated her. Then she started trying to cheer herself up.

“Ugh, but…the whole point is to scout a replacement. This Sacred Beast thing. I’m only stuck like this a few more days…and Lloyd’s here! I can see him! Why can’t I telepoooort?”

If anyone else heard her, they’d want to refer her to a good doctor to run some tests.

Merthophan scolded her again. “Chief, keep the outlandish statements to a minimum. This girl has yet to realize what a monster you are.”

“You’re calling a cute kid like me a monster?! I’m trying to mind my words, I swear!”

“When you blab about ‘teleporting,’ it hardly counts as trying…”

Both glanced at the girl with them.

She was the head of the second-year cadets, Micona Zol. Her boobs seemed constantly on the verge of exploding out of the seams of her uniform. At a glance, she appeared quite intelligent, but in fact…

“Mm? This ship just rocked pretty hard! Shame Marie isn’t with me so I could pretend to lose my balance and dive directly into her bosom… Hmm? Why are you staring at me?”

““No reason.””

Her love for Marie was obsessive to a degree that made even Kunlun villagers cringe. Perhaps unrelated, but within her body lay the powers of the locust demon lord, Abaddon, and the treant demon lord, the Erlking. In other words, while she did not fully realize it, she was every bit as inhuman as her two companions.

“…Guess we don’t have to worry about ‘common sense’ around her. I fear for the future of the Azami army.”

As a former member of said army, Merthophan was naturally concerned about his successors, but Alka’s response was…

“Ohhh, brilliant idea! If Lloyd were here, that jolt would have us wound up in a heap with our hands all over each other!”

“You get it!” Micona exclaimed. “Pretend your eyes are on the view, too enraptured to keep your balance! The perfect excuse to engineer a lurid mishap!”

“Of course I get it! I didn’t live a hundred plus years for nothing!”

“A hundred! Well, that would do it!”

““Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!””

“I’m glad you’ve found each other.”

They were like two classmates who’d never gotten along suddenly finding an excuse to bond. Their common ground was giving Merthophan a headache.

At this juncture, the ship turned into a narrower branch of the river—a fact that made him frown. “Odd,” he said.

“Mm? This isn’t the route! We were supposed to go through a famous bamboo forest!”

The ship captain heard this and bowed apologetically. “Sorry. A bad squall hit that stream the other day… For safety’s sake, we’re taking an alternate route. It really just hit that area.”

“By squall you mean localized rainfall? Unusual in these parts.”

“Don’t want our passengers getting drenched… Apologies.”

Merthophan nodded. It never occurred to him that this might be the work of another cadet—Lloyd.

The word squall had lit a fire under both the girls.

“A squall… A sudden rainfall… Lloyd, his drenched clothes translucent… We take shelter in an old temple… Yes, I can see it now!”

“Chief, the mere mention of rain should not be enough to make you fantasize about Lloyd.”

“It would be only natural for us to warm each other with body heat! Oh, Marie!”

“Swapping Lloyd for Marie doesn’t make it less weird, Micona Zol!”

His detailed rebuttals were not stopping their delusions. In their minds raged romantic squalls…composed of their cerebral fluids.

“It’s ideal, Micona! I can make it rain whenever, so you be on the lookout for the right temple.”

“On it, Alka! I’ll find the perfect temple for getting wet!”

Micona and Alka were on the same wavelength; the girl didn’t even bat an eye at the rain claim.

“Don’t divvy up tasks…! Look, the captain is staring.”

Indeed, the captain’s look was concerning.

“Remember, we’re abroad. Behave like a village chief and a military cadet ought.”

“Hngg, that’s definitely a look of suspicion…”

Merthophan bowed to the captain and made his companions do the same. “Manners are important! See? He looked relieved and went away.”

“Ex-Colonel Merthophan, the captain seemed to be in quite a hurry.”

Micona stared after the man a moment, but…

“O-oh! There’s an old temple right now! That deserves a spot on the list, Alka!”

Clearly, her lusts were far more important than the suspect actions of passing strangers. The captain’s reaction was promptly forgotten.

“Yes, well spotted! That is a very good old temple! Deserted! Ripe for sheltering in! The perfect start to any fanfic!”

“Did you not hear a single word I said?”

It had only taken seconds for them to start squealing again, and Merthophan was left rubbing his brow.

Meanwhile, the sketchy captain had a notebook out, looking at it and Alka in turn.

The book said, If you see a young girl in a white robe, report it immediately.

“Definitely fits the description… Guess I’d better send it up the chain.”

He jotted down a quick report and headed to the engine room.

“Still, a kid her age can’t be a criminal… Why are they looking for her?” He glanced back at Alka again, but she just looked like a regular little girl.

He had no way of knowing who was behind this request—the mastermind behind this entire incident, Lena Eug. She and Alka had a long history…and nobody knew that their conflict would clash up against another piece of ancient history, leading to an unprecedented crisis.

Meanwhile, at the headquarters of Renge’s Audoc clan…

This region had no shortage of lush forests, and the Audoc clan regularly felled oak-like trees, using some to cultivate their main export—shiitake mushrooms—while using the rest as lumber.

As a result, their headquarters was constructed from tree trunks, like a giant log cabin.

The rooms were designed around the warmth of the natural wood, giving it a very different vibe from the Kyounin clan’s imposing temples. Visiting tourists agreed that the Kyounin headquarters were great to gawk at, but if you wanted to spend the night, you should hit up the Audocs.

In one of these rooms, a military cadet named Allan Toin Lidocaine was greeting the dawn.

A soft bed stuffed with feathers. A potpourri of rose petals set by the pillow, filling the room with a lovely fragrance. This was clearly a room for VIPs—it would never be given to ordinary guests. It was the sort of accommodations reserved for diplomats who held the fate of the country in their hands.

Why was he in this room and not with Lloyd and his fellow cadets? Simple! The Audoc clan had “recruited” him.

Why had he gone with them? Because he’d been too seasick to ask questions. Hilarious, but…well, he was pretty down about it.

He was considered a future star of the Azami army. They’d bestowed the moniker “dragon slayer” on him. Rumor had it he could summon the heroes of yore if the need arose. Naturally, all these stories were wildly exaggerated, but that had resulted in others rolling out the red carpet for him.

Pure chance had resulted in his practice swing appearing to blow away a mountain peak (which was actually caused by Lloyd throwing a wooden practice sword) and histrionically yelling “Let floodwaters sweep the past away!” moments before a squall (that Lloyd made). The upshot of all that was that everyone was convinced all the stories were true, and nothing he said could dissuade them. Leaving him here.

Looking around the luxurious room once more, Allan let out a long sigh. “I’m not worth any of this…”

Starting a day with that statement showed just how poorly he was taking it.

He forced himself up, put on his uniform, and dragged himself out of the room…like an office drone on a Monday.

“““Good morning, Sir Allan!”””

“Mraghh!” He found a crowd of Audoc and Tiger clan students waiting outside his door.

They were all in rows like members of some clandestine society, making a show of respect as Allan passed.

The Audoc students bowed deeply, murmuring, “Elegance” and “Tea.”

The Tiger students grinned, showing off their builds—and their love of muscle.

“Uh, thanks, let’s make it a good one.”

Realizing they’d been on standby long before he woke up, Allan guiltily bobbed his head to each in turn, moving as quickly as he could. He wished he was the type who could enjoy being greeted by one row of suits and one row of half-naked warriors, but…

Since all of this is one big lie, I’m just scared of what’ll happen when they figure it out.

It was like clutching a bomb that might go off at any second. This simple morning greeting was shaving hours off his life.

“Good morning, Sir Allan,” chirped a woman in a red dress, her black hair done up in elegant curls. She swept the hem of her skirts up in a beautiful curtsy.

“S-same to you, Renge.”

Renge Audoc.

Though still young, she was the leader of her clan—and had it in for Anzu. She’d recruited Allan, hoping to use the Sacred Mountain Rite to wrest control of the Domain from Anzu and the Kyounin clan.

Now she was turning her glossy smile on Allan.

“No need to look so tense! Make yourself at home. We have breakfast waiting. I personally baked the scones last night—they’re perfect with honey. I hope you like them.”

“Huh…”

Before he could summon the energy for any real answer, a booming voice echoed down the hall. “Mwa-ha-ha! Morning: good! And hamstrings: great! Time for the morning thigh pump!”

The speaker wore a pair of briefs…and a mysterious mask. This was Tiger Nexamic, forty-something chief of the Tiger clan.

He wore an apron on over his usual half-naked look—and a broad grin. He was presenting his thighs as part of his morning routine. Being forcibly flexed at this early in the day lowered Allan’s responsiveness level from listless to speechless.

“Whoa! The invincible dragon slayer has a weakness?! Mornings! How unexpected! Yet, this only makes him more relatable! I banish morning blues with my Tiger Armpits!”

Nexamic nailed the Oliva pose.

Renge clearly had no more clue how to respond than Allan. “I do apologize. It’s far too early for anything this unsightly.”

Nexamic paid her no heed, his muscles leading Allan onward to the dining room.

“Come, Sir Allan! I, Tiger Nexamic, have turned my tiger heart toward the art of breakfast! Tiger Paninis and Tiger Potato Salad! Miso soup with daikon as big as my thighs! Think of it as eating a part of me!”

Allan thought that had sounded pretty good until the metaphors kicked in.

“Come, this way, Sir Allan,” Renge urged, taking his hand and escorting him to the table. This hospitality was just rattling him further.

They’re doing all this for me…but only because they think I’m a dragon slayer.

The Sacred Mountain Rite was held every four years and determined the next ruler of the Ascorbic Domain.

These two had teamed up to dethrone Anzu—and Allan’s reputation in Azami had led them to him. The better the treatment he received, the guiltier he felt.

Even for the right to rule, should they be taking my hand, cooking for me…and poisoning the enemy camp?

The hand-holding thing was, well, typical male obliviousness, but Allan was right to be concerned about the Kyounin camp poisonings. He hadn’t known either of them long, but neither of them struck him as the type to do something like that. He had an inkling there was someone else working behind the scenes.

And yesterday, Renge had mentioned “Eug.”

To Allan, that meant Dr. Lena Eug, who’d been working with the Jiou Empire to turn an exhibition match into an attempt at overthrowing the government of Azami.

If Dr. Eug is involved, that would explain a lot.

Allan was pretty sure Eug had her own reasons for going after the throne and had fed Renge and Nexamic a string of lies about Anzu.

“Renge, you said you’d take me to see this Dr. Eug today? At…”

“Her lab.”

“Right, I’d love to check it out!”

Renge made a face, but then she nodded. “She warned us not to involve any more humans…but I’m sure you wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Great! I appreciate it.” He clapped his hands together, finally letting himself smile.

All right! My plan might actually work!

He was hoping that visiting Eug’s lab would allow him to sniff out her plan, grab evidence while she wasn’t looking, and haul it safely back to his friends from Azami.

The ship made me so sick, I stupidly let Renge snatch me away. I can’t exactly go back empty-handed. But if I claim I realized Dr. Eug was involved and infiltrated the enemy camp to learn what she was up to, I’ll be good! They might even respect me for once! And I’d get an excuse to go back. Two birds with one stone! No, I’d save the Ascorbic Domain, so that’s three birds!

Counting those proverbial birds before they hatched, Allan was already picturing Lloyd going, “That’s why you’re my best student!” and Phyllo responding, “I’ll concede that position,” with Riho and Selen going, “You win, Allan,” and “I must begrudgingly admit it,” while looking suitably impressed…

Meanwhile, Renge seemed puzzled.

“But why would you want to visit her lab, Sir Allan?”

“Uh…”

He’d been too busy packing to leave to unpack a plausible motivation.

Just never toured a lab… No, I’m not eight. But they won’t believe the truth…

Unable to think of a good excuse, he froze up, and Renge’s frown deepened.

Sensing the tension, Nexamic jumped in—smoothly striking a pose.

“Mwa-ha-ha! Renge, this is the thing! You know! It takes a genius to know a genius! Once you hear what Dr. Eug can do, it’s only natural to want to know more about her! There is much we do not know ourselves.”

“Well, maybe,” Renge said, still looking sour. Nexamic took the hint, grinning.

“Or is this the other thing? You’re getting jealous? Dr. Eug is a girl, after all! Even if she sometimes seems more like an old woman.”

This clearly hit the nail so hard, Renge let the country back into her voice.

“Like hell I— Ahem. I beg your pardon, Sir Allan.”

“Uh, not at all.”

They seem to have reached a conclusion that worked to his advantage, but then he wondered what would happen once they realized he was no genius and got depressed again.

“The backlash is gonna hurt…”

“Buck up! And turn your eyes in the direction my pecs are pointing! Onward!”

Allan let the Tiger pecs be his guide and entered the dining hall.

Yeah, I’ve gotta make up for all that by figuring out Dr. Eug’s plan and getting my hands on proof! There’s clearly all kinds of weird stuff going on here! Mountains collapsing, sudden rainstorms—I bet those were both some of her destructive experiments, and they just happened to go off with the worst possible timing!

Both had been Lloyd’s fault, and if he thought about it for a minute, you’d think he’d have worked that out. Sadly, he was hardly thinking straight.

His mind made up, Allan filled his belly with Nexamic’s nutritious breakfast and Renge’s special scones, and then they all headed toward the lab.

Dr. Eug’s lab was in a little cave somewhere in the Audoc territory.

The entrance looked just like any ordinary cave, but farther in were nice floors, some couches, an electric kettle and fridge, air-conditioning, and computing devices. A very comfortable living space, quite a few steps above the local standard. Like another world entirely.

In the center of that room was someone very weird—wearing a fluffy bunny costume, while wiping herself with a bath towel.

There was water dripping off the costume and steam rising from it—she’d clearly just emerged from the bath. A bath she’d taken in the costume.

“Whew, that hit the spot! Nothing like the feeling of the water seeping through the sides of your costume!”

She plugged a hair dryer into a socket set in the rock wall and began drying her body with it. The practiced ease with which she went about this only highlighted how weird it was.

Her actions as bizarre as her outfit, this costumed lady was named Eve Profen.

She ruled the Profen Kingdom—a world power every bit the equal of the Jiou Empire. This highly mysterious individual was never seen without her costume. Eve insisted that her family had worn costumes for generations so that everyone would think they could talk to animals, but no one knew the truth.

Eve and Eug went way back—and their shared history explained why she was in the lab, acting like she owned the place and easily using all this technology. She was the kind of friend who knows you so well, she knows right where you’ve hidden the spare key.

“Dryers using typhoon technology are just so much more effective! These negative ions seal the deal! All hail the NAIs! They’ll save the world!”

As she hailed the ionic power, she dried behind her ears, under her arms, around the crotch, and then stuck the dryer into the costume’s mouth—drying the person inside.

“Aaaaaaah! Feeeeel the heaaaaaling!”

From the side, she looked like a bunny with a gun in its mouth, which…could give people the wrong idea.

At this point, the cave’s owner, Eug, came bursting in, grief-stricken. No sign of her usual canine-flashing grin. Even her trademark helmet was at a goofy-looking angle. Clearly, something had gone terribly wrong.

“Augh! That idiot! This sucks so hard!”

She might look like a fourteen-year-old, but like Alka, she was immortal. No signs of her advanced age, however, were present when she started panicking.

Breathing heavily, she spotted Eve enjoying her dryer.

“E-Eve! Help!”

“Sorry, Eug, I borrowed your bath… What’s all the fuss? I’m drying the insides. Hold on a moment.”

“There’s no time for insides! Alka’s on her way here!”

“………………” Eve froze. Dryer still blowing.

The roar of the dryer was the only sound. The longer it went, the sillier it sounded.

Finally, Eve started moving again, slowly, calmly putting the dryer away.

“Uh, what?” she said, clearly forgetting to maintain character.

“I dunnoooo!” Eug wailed, frustrated beyond enunciation.

“Um, I thought she was preoccupied out at sea?”

“Shouma swore she was! Dammit, she probably half-assed it ’cause Lloyd wasn’t involved, and then…heard he was here and came running. Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd! I’m so sick of that boy!”

“Alka really dotes on him, huh? And he’s at the center of everything, whether we like it or not.”

“Well, I told Lloyd it was training and sent him to fight Satan, and based on how that was going, there’s no way he doesn’t end up hospitalized. The problem is Alka!”

Not only was Lloyd not hospitalized but the boy and Satan were getting along great, and the kid was learning a lot. Eug had a habit of being overoptimistic about things, and it often came back to haunt her.

Eve put her hands on the sides of her head, overacting distress. “We’ll have to do something about her, or all our plans will collapse!”

“Yes! The Sacred Mountain Rite! We’ve gotta win that thing, lure out the Sacred Beast, and get our hands on it, or all our plans go kaput.” Eug was clutching her own head, rapping her knuckles on that helmet.

“This Sacred Beast has been worshipped here for eons… If it’s a demon lord, it’ll be a valuable asset. If we can’t get our hands on it…or worse, if it turns to Alka’s side…”

“That could lead to an even worse scenario. If that demon lord is the lab chief…”

Eve pushed her cheeks in like Munch’s The Scream. She really didn’t seem that concerned. “Without her, we can’t solve the riddle of the Last Key—the Holy Sword. And without that, unleashing the Last Dungeon will take even longer! Oh no.”

“If there’s any chance it’s the lab chief, we’ve gotta capture her. But Alka…”

Eug trailed off in a wail, clearly entering a downward spiral.

“Wait a gosh-darn minute!” Eve yelled. “Don’t you start falling apart on me yet!”

She loomed over Eug, offering words of encouragement. A girl in a bunny costume, solving depression—like a children’s TV show.

“No time for buts, Eugy! Subdue them protests! With force! You dig?”

“If you’d said that when you were president, it would have been a disaster.”

“True! That’s why we had hired you at our best lab!” Eve folded her arms, talking about her time as President Eva. “We were an emerging power, so there weren’t a lot of protests in-country. Lots from our neighbors, mind. The key to protests is to nip them in the bud! Whoops, there I go, reminiscing again. Let’s focus on the issue at hand.”

“Yeah, wailing isn’t getting us anywhere. Gotta figure out the facts, find a solution. Best shortcut when you’re stuck is to list up what you gotta do and all the problems you’ve got.” Eug wheeled out a whiteboard and jotted down their goals and tasks at hand. “We want to develop the world, and to do that, we’ve gotta release all the world’s enemies—the demon lords—from the Last Dungeon.”

“Their threat will strike fear in the hearts of man. And that’s where we supply everyone with modern weapons.” Eve demonstrated, but with her costume, it looked more like she was handing out flyers. Realizing this, she even said, “Thank you, come again!”

They’d known each other long enough that Eug just ignored this. “They’d normally refuse a deal that sketchy, but drowning men clutch at unknown technology.”

Eve nodded, one elbow on the table. “I mean, we can manage that much by rounding up wild demon lords, but we’re gonna need to get in the Last Dungeon anyway, so that place has gotta come open.”

Eug started scribbling on the whiteboard in English. “Once new tech becomes familiar tech, the rest is easy. They go from fearing demon lords to fearing one another. Scary weapons fuel research, and we know they’ll invent things we never would have in our time. After all…”

“We didn’t have magic back then.”

Eug nodded gravely. The light of revenge in her eyes.

“If people across the world combine magic with the technology of our day…explosive economic growth and rapid development are sure to follow.”

“And once science has reached the highest levels, we’ll finally have control over the device in the Last Dungeon—our ultimate goal.” Eve hmphed twice and thrashed wildly, posing like a hawk that’s sighted prey. “We failed last time! But we’ll have better technology! Hybrid magitech! And this time, we can control it!”

“If only we’d had magic as strong as Alka’s. Nope, back on topic. Also, Eve, your head’s about to come off there.”

The pose had proven precarious, and her head was tipping. “Thanks,” Eve said, putting it back. “The key to opening the Last Dungeon is the Holy Sword. But unfortunately, that wound up on Alka’s side.”

“For some reason, we can’t touch the thing. Neither can Alka, Shouma, or Sou. I’ve got no clue how anyone ever pulled the thing out, but that’s not the problem!”

“We had all sorts of schemes in the works. Brainwashing the Rokujou Sorcery Academy headmaster into doing experiments with a mithril arm—Sou did good work there!” Eve gazed fondly into the distance, remembering the good times.

Eug went on. “Then we killed Vritra, the guardian beast of Kunlun, hoping that without him around to shoulder the burden of Alka’s power, she’d be weakened and give us a chance to steal the sword…”

“But that failed! The cursed belt made from his hide was right there, and his mind remained in this world.”

“Alka was technically weakened, but she’s still a totally viable threat. So I tricked her and stuck Vritra in a Mastema Fruit, rendering her powerless.”

“And at the exhibition match, you’d taken over the Jiou Empire and launched a surprise attack on the Azami Kingdom, trying to steal the sword…and failed again.”

“Damn you, Lloyd!” Tears welled up in Eug’s eyes, remembering how he’d chased her around.

“This forced us to change up our approach. Waiting for our chance to steal the sword, we began rounding up wild demon lords, trying to turn the Jiou Empire into a viable threat that could terrify the rest of the world. Once the moment arrives, we’ve got futuristic weaponry ready to go!”

Eve did the tissue pose again, but Eug was shaking her head.

“About those weapons… Lloyd actually destroyed them…”

This was news bad enough even Eve couldn’t joke about it.

“What?” she growled. Some legit regal power behind that.

Eug didn’t even flinch. She explained what had happened.

“He was just…training and accidentally threw a wooden sword so hard it snapped a mountain peak. And our tanks and stuff were all in a cave on that mountain… He doesn’t even know! He’s not on to us. But I will need time to make them all again.”

“W-well, if he’s not on to us, then we’re good. Whew, you spooked me there!”

She went back to handing out flyers. This lady turned it on and off real quick.

“So while we manufacture those weapons, we keep gathering wild demon lords, analyzing and mass-producing them. For the days to come.”

“Alka may be weakened, but she’s still a threat, and it’ll take numbers to go against her.”

“…That’s not the only reason we’re gathering demon lords,” Eug said, giving Eve a grim look.

Eve nodded slowly. She was well aware. “One of those demon lords was once the lab chief. We’ve gotta get her in a Mastema Fruit and turn her to our side.”

“We can’t touch the Holy Sword, let alone explain how it works. Or how to unlock the Last Dungeon… If she can tell us that…”

“You could use your dwarf powers, replicate the sword, and get that dungeon open.”

Eug sat down on a couch, staring into the distance. Thinking about the lab chief, maybe.

“She’s the one who put the lock on the device and made it so immortals like Alka and us—and our apostles—can’t touch the Holy Sword. I don’t know why she’d do that or how…which is very frustrating.”

“We were all fired up about getting that dungeon open, whoo-hoo! …And that was when we heard the Sacred Mountain Sacred Beast was kinda demon lord–esque and possibly the actual lab chief.”

Eve did her own version of Eug’s distant gaze. But with that costume on, it just looked silly.

“The door in the Sacred Mountain shrine worked like the Holy Sword,” Eug said. “We can’t even touch it! Which makes me suspect the Sacred Beast is the lab chief.”

Eve grumpily scratched her head. Inside the costume. “We can’t force the door open… It’s so weird! Can’t touch or grab it, but it’s still a physical barrier… Even with the costume on, it blocked me. How’s that work?!”

“We can’t say for sure this beast is the lab chief. It’s entirely possible her home just happened to be here and, over time, wound up treated like a shrine.”

“But that’ll still give us vital clues!”

“Yeah, which is why I’m tricking the locals into helping me meet this beast. Only way to get those shrine doors open is to follow proper protocols.”

“Good thing you found a couple of gullible idiots. Go with them to the shrine and capture the thing!”

Eve made a pouncing motion, but Eug was staring grimly at the floor.

“Even if I can’t capture her, I’ll at least plead my case. I’m sure the lab chief will see where I’m coming from! That’s the sort of person she was.”

Eve whistled. “That’s the spirit! ’Course, the problem is Alka. Got a plan there?”

“Argh, she just never does what you think she will!”

There was several hundred years of history between them. Eug scowled at her whiteboard, then slapped it so hard it started spinning. It caught her chin on the upswing. Kids, don’t hit random objects without considering the consequences.

At any rate, Eve and Eug had laid out the facts, and this had only brought them back to the truth—they had to do something about Alka.

“She might screw up this Sacred Mountain Rite, preventing us from meeting the Sacred Beast. It might run off somewhere. Worse, join Alka’s side.”

“Our best shot is to somehow capture the beast before Alka gets here…right!” Eve slapped her palms together. A crack echoed through the cave, and she leaped to her feet—and started dancing.

“Eve?”

“A dance of determination!”

She turned her back on Eug, her voice dropping to a badass growl.

“I’m gonna go slow Alka down.”

“I-in person?”

“It’ll be fiiine,” Eve dismissed, waving her hand like a friendly neighborhood biddy. “Don’t worry about meee. I mean, Alka’s got no clue we’re working together behind the scenes! And that gives me an advantage! I’ma poke her like this!”

She struck a fencing pose.

Eug still looked dubious, so Eve ran to the whiteboard, drew pictures of herself, Alka, and Eug, and arrows between them—a relationship flowchart.

“The only choke point here is Alka finding out I’m alive at all.”

“Yeah, if she learned the king of Profen is President Eva, that’ll make a lot of our plans—especially capturing wild demon lords—a lot harder.”

“I’m well aware of the risks! But it’ll take a surprise to slow her down. I’m sure we can kill at least a full day on catching up. I mean, it’s been centuries!”

“Centuries since the world wound up like this. Hundreds of years of destruction and rebirth… Yeah, catching up would take more than a day or two.”

“Meanwhile, Eugy—you’ve gotta do everything in your power to win this rite.”

“I know! Alka oughtta be in the Audoc territory right now.”

“I don’t know my way around—can you show me the way? It’s not easy terrain for someone in a costume, is it?”

Was any terrain? Would nothing make her take that costume off? With those questions drifting in her mind, Eug led the way.

A while later…

Allan, Renge, and Nexamic all arrived at Eug’s lab—too late to find her there.

“This is the lab, Sir Allan! And these are the proudest muscles in my body—my hamstrings!” Nexamic pumped his thighs up, pointing at the cave hidden at the back of a forest.

At a glance, it looked like any other cave.

“Hmm,” Allan grunted, folding his arms. “So this is her lair… If that doctor’s here, then there’s gotta be something that’ll clue me into her schemes.”

Hearing him mutter, Renge leaned close. “Something amiss, Sir Allan?”

“Oh, nah, never mind. Is Dr. Eug here?”

“Afraid not,” Nexamic said, pecs quivering. “She left in a rush mere moments ago! One of our young’uns said she was muttering something about a girl in a white robe.”

“Oh, perfect.”

“Perfect?” Renge blinked.

“Uh…for…tea! Perfect teatime! Mind making me a cup?”

“Yes! I’d be delighted to! Anytime! Just say the word!”

Allan wiped his brow, convinced he’d made a narrow escape—and never once realizing he’d totally set himself up for something. It left Renge’s face bright red!

Oblivious to that, Allan seized the opportunity and hunkered his massive bulk down to squeeze through the cave entrance.

Renge stayed close behind, fanning her burning cheeks. At the rear, they could hear Nexamic bellowing, “Tiger Crawl!”

In due time, they came out into the open cavern within.

“Floorboards and couches…and what the heck are those gizmos? This is definitely her handiwork…”

Footsteps echoing on the boards, Allan gawked at the comfortable work space, now even more convinced it was the same Dr. Eug.

“Satisfied, Sir Allan?”

“Yes, thanks a lot, Renge!”

“Oh, it was nothing…” She blushed again.

“We must apologize, Sir Allan.” Nexamic looked genuinely sorry. “We’d like to accompany you further…”

“Oh, yes! There’s somewhere we have to be.”

“Oh yeah?”

Nexamic struck a pose, biceps bulging apologetically. Flexing wasn’t usually the best way to express remorse, but everyone was past caring.

“We have reports of a large monster flying overhead this morning,” Renge explained. “Nexamic and I can’t rest easy until the safety of all is secured!”

Allan was suitably impressed with their diligence.

“Wow…being a clan leader sounds like hard work.”

“One’s muscles and attitude must always reflect it! That is the responsibility I bear!”

“I must ensure my people can sip tea elegantly at all times. Adieu!”

With a curtsy, Renge reluctantly left, Nexamic close behind.

Once he was sure they were gone, Allan hunkered down, searching the place. Total sneak-thief mode. If a cop spotted him, they’d have had probable cause. Trying to copy stealthy footwork he’d seen before, he crept across the floor, eyes sweeping the table and shelves.

“I need something that just screams ‘This is Dr. Eug’s nefarious scheme!’ Like…documents or…”

His eyes lit on the scribble-covered whiteboard.

“What’s this flat white thing?”

Technology levels had not led to the invention of this office staple. Allan gave it a curious inspection.

“I dunno if it proves anything, and it’s too big… I need something smaller. And I can’t make head nor tail of this writing… What language is that?”

Eug had written everything in English, and Allan had never seen the like.

“Anything in the common tongue? Hmm. This drawing…the one with a helmet and snaggleteeth is Dr. Eug, the pigtailed one is Chief Alka…and a bunny? Dr. Eug and the bunny are working together, and the bunny’s gonna try and get the drop on Alka? I don’t get it.”

He gave up on decoding the whiteboard and headed to the next floor. He knew full well no one was here but couldn’t stop himself sneaking around. He would never make a good villain.

The next floor was less a lab than a factory. What had been an office and work space was now full-on manufacturing. There were piles of tool-like gizmos that did god-knows-what, cords stretching off to god-knows-where… It definitely said a lot about the person who designed it.

“These tools…I dunno if they’d be much good as evidence. I need something that’ll convince Renge and Nexamic they’ve been bamboozled! If I bring back something half-assed, that mercenary’ll just mock me to my face.”

He sighed, then tried to motivate himself.

“Nope, I’m not the kinda guy who stays down! I turn my failures into even bigger success! Be a man, Allan! Thwart these evil schemes!”

“Yo! That’s a pretty cool monologue, bro!”

“! Who was that?!”

He was alone in the room—so where was this voice coming from?

Allan quickly recovered and drew his ax, ready for battle. He scanned his surroundings.

Nobody there.

Fear made a bead of sweat roll down his cheek.

“Wh-who was that? Where are you?” he yelled, unable to bear the stress.

The jovial voice responded, “Yo! Right over here!”

“Where’s here…hmm?” Allan’s eyes locked on something—an egg-like Mastema Fruit, connected to several cables…glowing with a pale light. “An egg? Or a fruit? The hell are you?”

“Wow. This thief is swearing at me!”

“I’m not a thief! I mean, maybe that’s not convincing at the moment, but…seriously, what are you?”

The Mastema Fruit chuckled happily. “I’m Surtr! The demon lord.”

Allan had never seen a fruit that thought it was a demon lord before and nearly dropped his ax.

“A d-demon lord? Seriously?! What’s a demon lord doing here?”

“Some weird rabbit caught me, and here I am. And you? I gave my name.”

“Allan. Eldest son of the Lidocaines,” Allan replied cautiously.

“Allan, huh? Cool,” Surtr said, like he was meeting a new classmate. “A minute ago, you were talking about getting mocked and overcoming failures, yeah?”

“D-don’t remind me.”

“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, man! ’Preciate your hardship, is all.”

This demon lord had a voice like an arm around your shoulders. Conscious of the spell these words were casting, Allan considered his reply carefully. “A being like you…faces hardship?”

“Damn straight, man! All of us have times when we’re totally outclassed, when we get frustrated even though we know it won’t help, and there ain’t a thing you can do but stuff your face with jelly beans.”

“Jelly beans…?” Allan had never heard that word before, but Surtr kept talking, his words a breeze that blew that question aside.

“I know just how you feel! This is destiny! Fate brought us together. Can you sense it? This is a kairotic moment in your life!”

“A what?”

“A turning point! C’mon, bro, repeat after me! Kairotic! Moment!”

“K-kairotic moment…”

“Aw yeah! Got it in one! ’Grats, man! So now we’re both on this destiny train… Allan, what say we team up?”

“Team up? With a demon lord?”

This was an alarming prospect. Allan frowned, not ready to jump on that.

“I don’t mean like, permanently. More like a tag team!”

“Nah…,” Allan began.

But Surtr just kept raining words down on him, overwhelming him—a tried-and-true grifter technique to rob people of their judgment.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! I’m a demon lord, no doubt! The opportunity of a lifetime.”

“Certainly, a first for me…”

He was going to add, “Obviously,” but before he could, the demon lord sealed in that Mastema Fruit came at him again, like a pushy souvenir salesman in a tourist trap.

“I ain’t asking for your soul or nothing! It’s just, look, I’m kinda stuck here? And I thought you might lend me your body! Promise I’ll hand you back your life on a platter!”

“M-my body…?”

Allan clasped his hands to his chest. This was rather creepy, but Surtr kept negotiating, his voice radiating sincerity.

“Nothing to be scared of! It’s just a quick loan. I was roaming around outside with a purpose before I got caught, you see.”

“Still…”

“Naturally, this a mutually beneficial arrangement! A fair trade! You lend me your body, and I pay you back in spades! With demon lord powers beyond what any human could hope to achieve.”

“You’d…give me power?”

Surtr took this as a sign Allan was hooked. He launched into a pitch on the “benefits” that being possessed would incur.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never wanted it. The power to split the earth, to control flame at will. To shatter rocks with your bare hands! With that, you can show up anyone who mocked you! Just imagine their faces!”

“………”

“Well? You can change the world as you see fit, man! The whole world!”

“Never,” Allan growled, his voice as grim as Surtr’s was gleeful.

“Seriously? This is…demon lord levels of power. You could have entire countries dancing on the palm of your hand!”

As if listing reasons would help resist the temptation, Allan started to do just that.

“I’ve got a master—”

Surtr chuckled like he knew where that was going and jumped on Allan’s words.

“And you wanna stick to their teachings? But is this master gonna do more for you than the demon lord’s power would? Flames that can scorch everything? Boulder-pulverizing strength?”

He was clearly sure he was offering the better end of the bargain, but Allan…winced slightly, laying a dose of reality on the demon lord.

“Yeah, he can do all that. Easily shatter boulders. Cross the continent in six days. Banish a demon lord’s curse like he’s just washing someone’s face.”

“……Huh?”

For the first time, Surtr’s confidence wavered.

Piling on, Allan kept talking about his master—Lloyd—and the feats he’d witnessed with his own eyes rolled off his tongue, like he’d been waiting for the chance to boast about it.

“He can take out treants like they’re weeds, cross mountains just to shop… I’ve heard he can even fly! When he crossed the continent, he did so by casting Aero on repeat.”

“Yo, wait, wait, hang on—”

“I’ve got someone like that around, so this deal you offer? Ain’t too tempting. Shattering boulders bare-handed won’t impress anyone. My master ain’t the only one who can do that.”

Surtr was reduced to hollow laugher. “Ha-ha-ha, real funny. Lying your head off to try and resist the temptation, huh? That’s a good one. No way that’s real…right?”

“……Sorry, man.”

Allan let that one linger. He could almost see the demon lord clutching its head.

“…Right, fine. You’ve convinced me. You ain’t lying.”

“Nope.”

Negotiations failed. That glow around the Mastema Fruit pulsed faintly.

“Really? Man, what a world. I know, what I offer ain’t all that. Who is your master? Sure he ain’t a demon lord, too?”

“I dunno.”

“You don’t even rule that out?!”

Allan didn’t hesitate.

“But even if Lloyd is a demon lord, I know he’s a good one.”

The Mastema Fruit was reflected in Allan’s eyes. They didn’t waver.

“A good…demon lord.” Surtr ran that phrase over on his tongue, then let out a sigh of resignation. “Yeahhhh, all right, then. If another one’s got a prior claim on ya…negotiations gonna break down.”

“Sorry, demon lord.”

“Don’t be!” Surtr wailed. Then like the flood gates opening, the truth came out. “Argh, my plan to feed you a bunch of lies and steal your body, down the drain!”

“Yooooo!” Allan didn’t see any other way to respond to that.

Forgetting he was sneaking into Eug’s lab, his yowl echoed through the caverns.

Surtr seemed to get a kick out of this and cackled loudly. “Mwa-ha-ha! Don’t worry, I’m done trying. In hindsight, why would I want an ugly mug like yours? Ain’t gonna pick up any girls in your body! That’d be like starting the game on Insanity as the difficulty level.”

“So I’m insanely ugly, am I? I’ll have you know I’m considered quite dashing!”

“Yeah, from some angles.”

Allan was less than pleased with this assessment, but…probably because he knew it was true. The angrier he got, the friendlier Surtr’s voice became. No longer trying to trick him, the demon lord was just voicing his honest thoughts.

“Sorry I tried to pull a fast one on ya. But I ain’t kidding about wanting to get outta here. Don’t suppose I could convince you to take me with you?”

“I already rejected that idea! That goes double now I know you’re gonna take control!”

“I am not!” Surtr said. “I don’t need your body! I can possess whatever. That ax, for instance.”

Allan frowned, holding out his ax. “This ax?”

“Yeah! I just wanna get outta this weird egg, mangosteen, Mastema Fruit, whatever it is. Help a bro out, Allan!”

“…You’re not planning anything evil, are you?”

“Look, if I’m possessing some random inanimate object, I’m not gonna be able to use more than twenty percent of my power. Scout’s honor. With people, it’s like they’re a part of me, so I can manage half.”

“So this would be like Selen’s belt…?”

Allan knew of a possessed object already—her belt was possessed by a monster that talked like a savvy boss.

“I dunno about that, but please. If you leave me, the helmet girl’s gonna suck all my power and erase my mind. I tried to resist, but she already drained a lot.”

“Helmet girl? Dr. Eug?”

“Yeah, I think that’s her name. It rings a bell anyway.”

Allan folded his arms, thinking. “A demon lord, and one we can at least communicate with… That would be pretty solid evidence.”

If he took Surtr out of here and got him to give testimony, that would at least prove that Dr. Eug had plans to use demon lords for something. And that might help clear up this whole mess. The pieces were falling in place.

“And if you’re tricking me, Lloyd’ll sort it out. All right, Surtr! Promise not to be bad, and I’ll take you outta here.”

“Oh! Thanks, Allan! Just bring that ax over to me.”

“Like this?”

The glow began pouring onto his ax.

“Okay! Just stay like that for maybe half an hour.”

“That’s a long time!”

“Yeah, well, like I said…it’s a random inanimate object. While we’re at it—tell me more about yourself! Tell me all your tales of woe!”

“Like I don’t have any other kind? Okay, I admit I do have a lot. Well, most recently…”

Over the next thirty minutes, they went from his misfortunes to his life history to Lloyd and how he came to be known as the dragon slayer. By that time, they were firm friends.

“…Wow, that’s nuts! You didn’t do anything, but the king and all the top brass were hauling you out to dinner? That’s not a tale of woe! You’re the luckiest dog in town!”

“I sit there scared they’ll find out it’s all a lie, and I can’t taste a thing.”

“Oh…I get that, yeah. Hardly has any flavor! That would be rough.”

“I’ve got this thick slab of steak, and it tastes like nothing…almost funny. But what about you, Surtr? What kind stuff does a demon lord do? What is a demon lord?”

“I don’t really know,” Surtr said. It sounded like he was shrugging.

“Yeah? But you are one.”

“I get your drift, and all, but…my memories are kinda spotty? Like, first thing I knew I was a demon lord and wandering around…and all I really remember…”

“Is?”

“…Looking for the one I love. I think.”

“Oh. Any clues?”

“Not sure, but there’s this one phrase in the corner of my mind…Dom Pérignon.”

“What’s that?”

“I feel like the one I love had a sick brother, or… And she needed that, so it must have been medicine.”

Surtr’s tone was getting steadily gloomier. Allan was feeling very sorry for him. Even getting tears in his eyes.

“So that’s why you wanted out so bad? Okay! Meeting you is a sign from above! I’ll help you find your beloved!”

“You will? Thanks, Allan. You’re a better guy than your mean mug suggests!”

“Leave my mug out of it!”

“My bad. Oh, you can let go of the ax now.”

Seeing the glow around his ax, Allan let out a cry of delight. “Great! All the proof I need. Now we just gotta get back to Lloyd and the rest of the contingent! And solve everything!”

“All I have to do is tell ’em about this Eug girl and her plans, right? Leave it to me, Allan, my buddy!”

And so, a new odd duo was born…and they would create no end of chaos—as Allan would soon learn…