Chapter 183 Straight Guy Test

Chapter 183: The Straight Guy Test

His eyes darted about, then he softly called out, "Yuli."

"Hm?" Lin Nanshu looked up, his gaze questioning as he turned toward him.

The moment he lifted his head, Cheng Ge swiftly reached out with lightning speed.

His fingertips stroked Lin Nanshu's smooth cheek twice, even subconsciously rubbing it lightly.

It felt dry and warm. Skin is nice… Good, no powder.

Lin Nanshu was completely stunned by the sudden action.

His body stiffened slightly, his clear eyes filled with bewilderment and confusion, "???"

For a moment, he couldn't even process what had just happened.

Cheng Ge coughed dryly, quickly withdrawing his hand, and put on the most serious expression possible.

He even furrowed his brows slightly, as if the one who had just touched his buddy like that wasn't him at all.

With a straight face, he pointed at the hand Lin Nanshu had used to adjust his collar earlier and talked nonsense with a perfectly straight face.

"N-nothing, my hand felt a bit sore, I just shook it a couple of times." Then he abruptly shifted gears, "Looks like something got on your fingernail."

Hearing this, Lin Nanshu instinctively lowered his head, opened his palm, and naturally looked at his own nails.

Cheng Ge watched his every move intently. When he saw that, the huge stone in his heart dropped with a thud.

Just as the internet said! Straight guys always curl their fingers in like that to check their nails.

Only gay guys would raise a pinky and spread all five fingers outward.

Seems like he had been overthinking—Brother Yuli was still perfectly straight. His sense of security instantly returned.

He let out a long sigh of relief, his face breaking into a relaxed and brilliant smile as he patted Lin Nanshu on the shoulder.

"Must have been a mistake. Let's hurry, or Lü Rou will be waiting impatiently."

With that, in a much better mood, he nibbled on his sesame candy and strode briskly ahead.

Leaving Lin Nanshu standing there alone, he looked at his own clean nails.

Then raised his hand to touch the cheek Cheng Ge had just rubbed. On his usually warm, jade-like face, a rare look of confusion appeared.

Cheng Ge had been granted a few days off by the Emperor, nominally to reflect quietly at home and recuperate.

On this fine sunny day, he was made to stay in the courtyard by Lü Rou and Funiang, forced to spectate a ritual.

A master in a Bagua-patterned Daoist robe, sporting a goatee, wielding a peachwood sword, was hopping around the four corners of the yard.

Muttering incantations under his breath, and sometimes shaking his head, sometimes pinching his fingers in frantic calculations.

His expression was so grave, as if Cheng Ge hadn't just depleted his vitality, but had been possessed by evil spirits from the eighteenth layer of hell.

Cheng Ge, in a loose nightshirt, with a robe casually thrown over it, stood in the middle of the yard, utterly bored, watching the master's performance with a look of total exasperation.

After a series of leaps and spins, the master abruptly stopped in front of him, closed his eyes, and made a complicated hand seal.

He rattled off another string of unintelligible chants, then pointed two fingers like a sword.

He jabbed heavily through the air toward Cheng Ge's face, and bellowed, "Hah! Evil spirits, be gone!"

Cheng Ge: "..." Why does this scene feel so familiar?

Then, the master slowly straightened up, let out a long breath.

His expression shifted gradually from his earlier look of facing a great enemy to calmness and ease, as if he had accomplished something truly monumental.

Lü Rou and Funiang, who had been watching anxiously by the side, hurriedly approached.

Lü Rou asked anxiously, "Reverend, how is it? Did our young man offend something?"

The master stroked his beard, putting on an air of profound mystery, and started spouting nonsense off the top of his head.

"Wuliang Tianzun. Indeed, your young master has encountered some unclean things, yin energy clinging to him, causing weakness and recurring misfortune.

But rest assured, I have just laid down a Heavenly Net Cleansing Array and applied supreme Daoist arts to expel those filthy things!"

Lü Rou clasped her hands together in relief and said, "Thank goodness! Thank you, Reverend! You're really impressive!"

Cheng Ge, standing aside, couldn't help but twitch the corner of his mouth, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes.

Seeing how dismissive Cheng Ge was being, Funiang, afraid he might offend the master, quickly took a bulging money pouch out of her sleeve and pressed it into the master's hand, with a grateful smile.

"Thank you for your trouble, Reverend. Just a small token, it's not much. If you're not in a hurry, why not stay for a meal before you go?"

The master hefted the pouch in his hand, a flicker of satisfaction flashing through his eyes.

But on his face, he put on a grave expression, as if money meant nothing to him and he was burdened with a mission, and waved his hand in refusal.

"Fusheng Wuliang Tianzun. Lay believer, you are too kind. Exorcising evil is my duty, how could I dare to seek reward or food?

The hour is late, and I must rush to the Prince Jing's residence. Recently, there seem to be unusual signs there too—can't afford to delay."

Cheng Ge: "..."

After finally sending off the busy master, the yard was finally quiet again.

Lü Rou turned around and saw Cheng Ge listlessly sprawled over the stone table in the yard, utterly drained.

Knowing he must be tired again, she quickly brought over a plate of freshly steamed osmanthus cakes.

"Young master, are you weary? Have some snacks to tide you over."

Cheng Ge perked up slightly at the sweet aroma.

He picked up a cake and stuffed it into his mouth. The sweetness melted on his tongue, and his mood improved just a little.

Chewing the pastry, he spoke a bit indistinctly, "Sister Lü Rou, Funiang, don't invite any more of these so-called masters and Daoists. They're all just scamming us."

Funiang immediately spat "peh peh peh" a few times, clasped her hands, and bowed in several directions.

"Young master, be careful what you say! Don't blaspheme the gods. If you're sincere, it'll work. That reverend has real skill."

Lü Rou chimed in too, "Yes, young master, you don't know how hard it is to get an appointment with Master Zhang here in the capital around!"

Many noble families believe in him, all saying his cultivation is amazing."

With that, Lü Rou's expression finally relaxed. "The master just set up the formation. I'm sure the nasty things on our young master won't dare come near anymore!"

Cheng Ge: "..." I'm the biggest damn nasty thing myself.

Cheng Ge looked at Lü Rou and Funiang's utterly convinced expressions and couldn't be bothered to argue with them about whether this superstitious stuff worked or not.

Just then, a familiar rustling sound came from the courtyard entrance.

Dahuang, who had been out raising hell all day, came sauntering back, wagging his tail.

Star Frost was still coiled around its neck, both of them as filthy as dung beetles that had been rolling in poop all day.

Right! The real filthy things are back—

The dog and the snake saw Cheng Ge at the stone table, their eyes lit up, and they were about to pounce.

Lü Rou, quick as a flash, hurriedly blocked them, holding one in each hand.

The servants, trying not to laugh, quickly brought over some clean water.

Lü Rou took matters into her own hands, grabbing the struggling Dahuang and starting scrubbing it.

A young maid carefully moistened a soft cloth and tried to wipe Star Frost's body.

Star Frost was being handled, lying limply across the maid's hand, flicking its tongue, being turned over this way and that, looking utterly resigned.

The sight almost made Cheng Ge laugh; he couldn't help blurting out, "Where did that rascal Yun Xunyu go?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, a familiar voice whispered in his ear: "Dear, could it be... you missed me?"