Chapter 206: Illusion

Chapter 206: Hallucinations

It wasn’t that his mind had gone bad—it was that the gay density around him was way too damn high.

The feng shui in this capital city was definitely cursed. It had nearly bent a perfectly straight guy like him out of shape!

It was like a fine piece of pork tossed into a vat of strong vinegar—steep it long enough, and it'd pick up a sour smell, wouldn't it?!

He was just corrupted by being around them, contaminated—it had to be!

Cheng Ge clung to this thought like a lifeline, his spirits lifting just a little.

He figured after work today, he’d go find a few ladies, stop by the Hundred Flowers Pavilion to listen to some music.

Look at more girls’ soft waists and bright smiles—surely that would push all those annoying male faces out of his head.

But he totally underestimated that nightmare and its aftermath.

The Golden Throne Hall was solemn and majestic.

Cheng Ge forced himself to stand upright, trying to focus, but his eyelids kept twitching uncontrollably.

In his field of vision, that supreme, brilliant imperial yellow began to distort and ripple in his blurry vision...

Like a drop of vermillion sinking into clear water, that dazzling yellow started to stain red, bit by bit.

It gradually deepened, turning into that piercing, nightmare-like crimson.

The embroidered golden dragon seemed to come alive, morphing into mandarin ducks and twin lotus flowers...

The imposing figure on the dragon throne, in his warped view, grew slender and blurry, and weirdly... it even looked like it was wearing a bejeweled phoenix crown?

Cheng Ge: "!!!"

Cheng Ge jolted in shock, and in an instant, his scattered soul snapped back into place.

Survival instinct made him yank his hand up with lightning speed and, with all his might, dig his fingernails into his own philtrum.

"Uh—" The sharp pain made Cheng Ge let out a stifled groan.

The young censor standing next to him was startled by his sudden move.

He looked at him in surprise, lowering his voice: "Lord Cheng, what are you doing?"

Cheng Ge was in so much pain that tears were about to fall, but at least his mind cleared up a bit.

The emperor was still on the throne in his bright yellow dragon robe—no trace of a red wedding dress or phoenix crown.

He let go of his hand, still shaken, leaving a deep red mark on his philtrum that burned like fire.

He forced a smile at the veteran general beside him that was uglier than crying, his voice weak.

"N-nothing... just got a little dizzy... pinched myself to... stay awake..."

The censor stared at his face for a full twenty seconds, muttering: "Lord Cheng, overdoing it isn't good for you..."

Cheng Ge: "..."

For the rest of the court session, Cheng Ge kept his eyes fixed straight ahead, not daring to glance at the throne again.

He was afraid that if he kept looking, he’d not only see a wedding dress but might even hallucinate the emperor holding a chubby baby in his arms.

Cheng Ge slouched along with the crowd as they left court, wishing he could pull his head into his robe.

Every step was cautious, afraid of catching another glimpse of something he shouldn’t, messing with his poor, traumatized little heart.

His mind was full of finding a Taoist priest, paying him more money, getting talisman water, and hitting the Hundred Flowers Pavilion—he just wanted to escape this place of terrifying hallucinations as fast as possible.

Just then, snatches of conversation drifted into his ears. They came from several censors walking ahead of him, chatting.

"Did you hear? The imperial inspector originally appointed to patrol Yuanzhou, Lord Li Chong, his elderly father passed away yesterday."

"Alas, Lord Li is extremely dutiful to his parents. He’ll surely have to observe the three-year mourning period."

"But Yuanzhou has long-standing issues that the emperor takes very seriously. This inspection can’t be delayed. Looks like we’ll need to quickly choose another worthy candidate."

"Exactly. The Ministry of Personnel will probably draft a list today and submit it for the emperor’s approval..."

Yuanzhou, imperial inspector, another worthy candidate...

These words hit him like a lightning bolt, instantly jolting the dazed Cheng Ge!

He stopped dead in his tracks, frozen in place, his eyes suddenly blazing.

The earlier hollowed-out look disappeared completely, and he perked up like a withered blade of grass after a long drought.

Yuanzhou—a remote place far from the capital, a paradise full of beautiful women.

An imperial inspector, on imperial tour, wasn’t high-ranking but held considerable power. It would give him a legitimate reason to get out of this gay-ridden capital.

This was like having a pillow delivered just as he was dozing off, a ladder handed to him when he needed to escape—had the heavens finally opened?!

The immense joy and hope burst out like lava, burning away all the gloom in his heart.

Screw the Taoist priests! Screw the talisman water! Screw the Hundred Flowers girls! None of it compared to the reality of this opportunity.

As long as he left the capital, far away from those guys, then he, Cheng Ge, would be straighter than Chengdu's Tianfu Avenue.

The more he thought about it, the more it felt like a godsend. He couldn’t wait a second longer.

Screw lunch. He begged the young eunuch waiting outside the imperial study to announce that he had urgent business to see His Majesty.

When the eunuch went in to report, Emperor Zhou Mingqi had just finished approving a batch of memorials and was massaging his temples to rest.

Hearing that Cheng Ge requested an audience, a flicker of surprise flashed in his eyes, but he quickly returned to normal: "Let him in."

Cheng Ge took a deep breath, straightened his robes and cap, and walked in with his head lowered, bowing deeply.

"Your subject kowtows to Your Majesty."

"Rise." Zhou Mingqi’s voice was steady, betraying no emotion. "What urgent matter brings you to me?"

Cheng Ge stood up but stayed slightly bowed, looking very respectful.

"Your Majesty, your subject has heard that Imperial Inspector Lord Li is observing mourning, leaving the Yuanzhou inspection post vacant.

I... I humbly offer myself, willing to share Your Majesty’s burden and travel to Yuanzhou to conduct the inspection."

Before he even finished speaking, Zhou Mingqi on the throne answered almost without thought, blurting out: "No way."

Cheng Ge froze and looked up sharply: "Your Majesty?"