2

Eugeo.

Eugeo…

What’s wrong?

Did you have a bad dream…?

With a soft thrum, orange light filled the lamp.

Out in the hallway, Eugeo buried the bottom half of his face into the pillow in his arms and, without emerging from the darkness, peered through the slightly ajar door into the room.

It wasn’t very big and featured two simple wooden beds. The one on the right was empty, its freshly washed blanket crisply folded. The bed on the left held a thin figure sitting upright, watching Eugeo. The face was hidden due to the light of the lamp in the figure’s hand. The shining white pajama top was slightly open at the chest, revealing even whiter skin. The long hair that hung down to the bed looked as soft as silk.

Beyond the glow of the lamp, the only thing visible were her full lips, curled into a gentle smile.

It must be cold over there. Come here, Eugeo.

Underneath the covers, the bed was full of rich, warm, inviting darkness, which only served to remind him of the chilly breeze in the hallway. Just then, he was through the door, tottering toward the bed on uncertain legs.

For some reason, the closer he got, the weaker the lamplight became, and the darker the face of the woman on the bed. But Eugeo kept moving onward, driven by the desire to nestle into the pleasant darkness. His steps got shorter and shorter, and his viewpoint fell lower and lower, but he didn’t find this strange.

When he reached the bed at last, it was terribly tall. He threw down his pillow and used it as a stepping stool to clamber up the side of the bed. Then a soft layer of cloth covered his head, plunging his vision into blackness. He crawled farther, farther into the dark, urged by a kind of primal longing.

His outstretched fingers brushed warm, soft skin. Eugeo clung to it, buried his face in it. The smooth skin wriggled and folded to welcome him in. Clinging to it brought him a numbing satisfaction, and twice as much longing. Smooth arms circled his back and brushed the top of his head.

“Mother…? Is that you, Mother?” he asked, his voice tiny.

The answer was immediate.

That’s right…I’m your mother, Eugeo.

“Mother…my mother…,” he mumbled, sinking deeper and deeper into the warm, clammy darkness. As his mind went dull and numb, one little piece of it raised a concern, as dull as an air bubble rising from a muddy swamp.

Was his Mother always so thin…and soft? She worked the barley fields every day—why were her hands so perfectly pristine? And…what had happened to his father, who should have been sleeping in the bed on the right? Where were all his brothers, who always got in the way when he sought comfort from this woman…?

“Are you…really my mother?”

That’s right, Eugeo. I’m your mother, and your mother alone.

“But…where’s Father? Where did my brothers go?”

Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, you silly boy.

Remember?

You killed them all.

Suddenly, his fingers slid.

He held up his hands and spread them apart.

Even in the darkness, he could clearly see the bright-red color of blood dripping from his fingers.

“…Aaaaaahh!!” Eugeo screamed and bolted upright. He frantically rubbed his clammy hands against his shirt. After several shouts and much hasty friction, he finally realized that it was not blood smeared on his palms but sweat. He was lying on the ground in the fetal position.

It was just a dream. And yet, the wild beating of his heart and the sour sweat exuding from his skin showed no signs of calming. The remnants of a horrifying nightmare stayed stuck to his back, chilling and unpleasant.

I’ve hardly even thought of Mom and Dad since I left home, he realized, then clenched his eyes shut and panted. Back in Rulid, his mother was so busy with fieldwork, taking care of the sheep, and doing all the housework that she hardly ever had time to dote on Eugeo like that. At the time of his oldest memories, he was already sleeping in his own bed, and he’d never had a problem with it.

So why would I have a dream like that now…?

He shook his head, trying to dispel the vision. A person’s dreams were decided by the whims of Lunaria, the moon goddess. There was no meaning to that nightmare, surely.

Once his breathing was steady again, his mind turned to the question of where he was. Without uncurling his body, he lifted his eyelids.

The first thing he saw was a dark-red, stunningly deep carpet, woven with an intricate design. He couldn’t begin to guess what the textile merchants in District Five of North Centoria would charge for such an item. He gradually raised his head, but there was no end to the carpet. Only when his head was fully level did he finally see a wall in the distance.

The “wall” wasn’t wood paneled or made of stone blocks. It was an arrangement of golden pillars made to look like gigantic swords, connected by massive sheets of glass. That made it less of a wall than a very long, continuous window. In any case, he doubted that even the emperors’ palaces made such decadent use of valuable glass.

Beyond the glass wall was a carpet of clouds glowing blue in the moonlight. So this chamber was located above the cloud layer. Hanging in the night sky above was a full white moon. A stunning canopy of stars sparkled around it. The rays of light coming down from the display above were so strong that Eugeo was late to realize it was still the middle of the night. Based on the position of the moon, it was probably just after midnight. So while he slept, the date changed, making it the twenty-fifth day of the fifth month now.

He looked straight up. Far above, the ceiling formed a perfect circle, with no sign of any staircase up to the next floor. Did that make this the very top floor of Central Cathedral?

There was a vivid painting on the vast ceiling: shining knights, vanquished monsters, mountains jutting from the earth. It seemed to be a depiction of the creation of the world. There were even crystals embedded into the surface here and there, twinkling like stars.

But based on the content of the painting, there was one absolutely pivotal figure who was not present in the center, where she belonged: Stacia, goddess of creation. That part of the painting was done all in white, leaving a bizarre void that drew attention away from the rest of the work.

After puzzling over that for a bit, Eugeo got up from his hands and feet, then spun around in a panic when something brushed his back.

“…?!”

He gaped. Right behind him was the side of a shockingly large bed. It was circular, like the room itself, and nearly ten mels in diameter. Four golden pillars supported a golden canopy, with several layers of fine purple fabric hanging between them. The bed itself was wrapped in a white sheet of what looked like silk from the eastern empire, which shone softly in the moonlight coming through the window.

And lying in the middle of that bed was a single figure. The sheer hanging fabric blocked the light, revealing nothing but the general silhouette.

Eugeo sucked in a sharp breath and jumped to attention. He’d been here for at least a few minutes, and he hadn’t sensed the other person’s presence at any point. That was hard enough to believe, but even more difficult was the realization that he’d been sleeping against the side of the bed for hours. How had that happened…?

At last, Eugeo recalled the most recent memory from his vague, jumbled chronology.

That’s right…I fought against Commander Bercouli…the hero of yore. I used my sword’s Memory Release to freeze us both…and just before both our life numbers ran out, some little man dressed like a clown—Prime Senator Chudelkin? He waltzed in and said some very strange things. Then he crunched the ice roses with his shoes…and…

That was the end of his memories. Perhaps the clownish man had brought him here, but the reason was unclear. Without thinking, he rummaged around his waist, but there was no sword there.

Plagued by a sudden sense of vulnerability, Eugeo squinted at the figure on the bed. Was it friend or foe…? But this was Central Cathedral, and likely the top floor, at that. Nobody he found here would be an ally.

He considered sneaking right out of the room, but his desire to know the identity of the sleeping figure won out. No matter how he stretched, though, he couldn’t make out the face behind the hanging fabric.

He held his breath and put his knee on the bed. It sank deep into the white silk, like a layer of powdered snow, and Eugeo had to reach out and prop himself up on his hands. They, too, sank into the smooth fabric.

The memory of that terrible dream and the sensation of its enveloping bed returned to him in a flash, and he shivered. Eugeo put his other leg on the bed and slowly crawled toward the center.

As he crossed the impossibly large bed, Eugeo had to wonder: If the bed beneath him was filled with the finest, softest down, how many feathers would there be in total? When he carefully collected the loose, fallen feathers from the ducks the family kept out back in Rulid, it had taken half a year to make one thin, shabby blanket.

He stopped just before the sheer hanging curtains and listened closely. At the very edge of his hearing was the sound of smooth, regular breathing. The mystery person was still asleep.

Carefully, so carefully, he slipped his right hand under the curtain and lifted it, achingly slowly. When the light of the evening finally landed on the interior portion of the bed, Eugeo’s eyes bulged.

It was a woman.

She was dressed in a light-purple nightgown—the same color as a Stacia Window—hemmed with silver thread, with pale and delicate hands folded atop her stomach. Her arms and fingers were as slender as a doll’s, but the swelling mounds pushing up the gown were rich and full, and he hastily looked past them without lingering. At the wide-open neck, her skin was smooth and dazzlingly white.

Lastly, he looked at her face. Instantly, he felt as though his soul were being sucked out of his body. He went into tunnel vision, unable to sense anything else.

What incredible perfection. She didn’t even seem human.

Alice the Integrity Knight had an unassailable beauty, of course, but hers was still a beauty that existed within the human spectrum. And that was natural—Alice was a human.

But this person sleeping no more than a mel away was…

The finest sculptor in Centoria could spend his entire life in pursuit of total mastery and still be unable to create such beauty. Eugeo couldn’t think of the words to describe even a single feature of her face. He would say that she had “lips like flower petals,” except that Eugeo did not know of any flowers with such delicate, pristine curves.

The lashes on her closed eyelids and the long flowing hair that spilled over the bed looked like molten silver. It gleamed coldly in the blue darkness and white moonlight.

Like some kind of fly lured by sweet nectar, Eugeo was stunned, unable to think. The only thing filling his empty head was the desire to reach out and touch that hair and cheek, to feel them with his own skin.

He slid forward a bit more on his knees, until a scent like nothing he’d ever smelled before rose into his nostrils. His outstretched fingertips were closer…almost there…on that smooth, flawless skin…

No, Eugeo!

Run!

He felt like a voice had shouted from somewhere in the distance.

There was a burst of sparks inside his head, driving away just a bit of the thick fog clouding his mind. Eugeo’s eyes blinked and bulged, and he abruptly drew his hand back.

Why did that voice…sound so familiar…? he wondered in a daze, his ability to think slowly returning. What…happened to me…? What am I doing here…?

He stared at the woman sleeping before him, trying to reconcile his presence there, and suddenly felt another heavy layer of sleep threatening to engulf him. He tore his eyes away and shook his head in an attempt to fight it off.

Think. I’ve got to think. I should know who this is. It’s a person sleeping alone on an extravagant bed on the top floor of Central Cathedral. In other words, this must be the most powerful figure in the Axiom Church—and the ruler of all the human lands in existence…

It was the church pontifex, Administrator.

Eugeo repeated that name over and over, now that he could remember it. This was the person who stole Alice, took out her memories, and made her into an Integrity Knight. The most powerful caster of sacred arts, whom even the wise and unfathomable Cardinal couldn’t defeat. The ultimate enemy of both Eugeo and Kirito.

And here she was, sleeping right before him.

Could I…beat her now?

Without thinking, he reached for his waist with his trembling hand, but he found no sword there. Either Chudelkin had taken it, or it was still at the bottom of the Great Bath, buried under ice. Even asleep, she was too much for Eugeo to handle without a weapon…

Wait.

There was still one. A very small one, but in a sense, a weapon more powerful than any Divine Object.

Eugeo reached up to his chest and pressed down on his shirt. The sensation of a hard cross pushed back into his palm. It was his final ace, Cardinal’s secret weapon.

If he stuck this dagger into Administrator’s body, Cardinal’s special attack arts would cross time and space to burn her alive.

“…!”

But he could only exhale in anguish, the dagger clutched in his hand through his shirt.

The knife was supposed to be for Alice. She wouldn’t be killed, of course, merely put to sleep by Cardinal’s magic so her memories could be restored, returning her to the original Alice. If he used it on Administrator, that might stop her, but it would hold no meaning to Eugeo. Perhaps there was a way to bring Alice back without the dagger once Administrator was out of the picture, but there was no guarantee of that.

As he hesitated, grappling with a question with no easy answers, he thought he heard that strange voice again.

Eugeo…run…

But before the message from that terribly faint voice could take root in his consciousness—the woman’s silver eyelashes twitched.

Eugeo could only gaze on in dull surprise as her pale eyelids slowly opened. He couldn’t even move his eyes, much less the hand holding his dagger. The mental acuity he’d fought so hard to regain began to shred apart again.

The woman’s lids closed before they had opened all the way, then resumed their upward drift, teasing him. By the third blink, they were entirely open at last.

“Ah…”

Eugeo didn’t even register the sound that tumbled out of his mouth. The woman’s eyes were a pure silver color he had never seen in any human iris in his life. Around that mirrorlike surface was a pale rainbow shine that wobbled and rippled like water. They gleamed with such a beautiful richness that every gem in the world paled in comparison.

He was petrified like a statue, kneeling atop the bed, as the woman slowly rose to a sitting position in a way that suggested no weight at all; her upper half hovered up as if pulled by some invisible force, while her hands stayed folded over her stomach. That long silver hair hung down her back in one solid flow, trailing with a breeze that wasn’t there.

With her eyes opened, the woman (or girl—she looked younger now that her eyes were open) lifted a hand to her mouth and yawned slightly, without a single acknowledgment of Eugeo’s presence.

She folded her knees to the right, shifting her center of weight so that she had to prop herself up with her left hand on the cover. It was in that seductive pose that the girl finally turned her head to look straight at Eugeo.

Her flat silver eyes with their rainbow-colored edges didn’t look like they belonged to any human being—there were no pupils. Despite their beauty, they reflected all the light like mirrors, allowing no glimpse into her emotional center.

He gazed into his dumbfounded reflection in those little mirrors as the girl’s pearly lips parted. She spoke in a gorgeous voice, as sweet as honey and pure as crystal.

“You poor child.”

It took some time for him to understand what she’d said to him. Without realizing how slow his wits were working, he repeated, “Huh…? Poor…?”

“Yes. Very pitiful.”

Her voice had a beguiling quality, a combination of innocent beauty and sultry seductiveness. The gleaming pearl lips curled into a subtle grin, emitting more of that honeyed tone.

“You are like a wilted flower in its little bed. No matter how you extend your roots into the soil, no matter how much you stretch your leaves into the breeze, you cannot touch a single drop of dew.”

“Flower…bed…”

His brows knotted as he tried to puzzle out the meaning of her words. The fog shrouding his mind still hung thick, but something in her words brought a stab of pain to his heart.

“You understand. You know just how thirsty and starving you are.”

“…For what…?” he heard his own voice say.

She stared at him with those mirror eyes, grin still in place.

“For love.”

For…love?

As though…I don’t know…what love is…

“Precisely correct. You don’t know what it means to be loved, you poor child.”

That’s not true.

Mom…loved me. When I had a nightmare, when I couldn’t sleep…she would hold me and sing me lullabies.

“But did that love truly belong to you, and you alone? It didn’t, did it? It was spread among all your siblings, and you just happened to receive it by default…”

That’s a lie. Mom loved me…She loved only me…

“You wished she only loved you. But she didn’t. So you hated your father, your brothers, for stealing your mother’s love.”

Liar. I…I don’t hate Dad or my brothers.

“Is that true…? But you slashed him.”

……

Slashed who…?

“There was that red-haired girl who might’ve been the first one to love you and only you…and you slashed the man who tried to take her by force. Because you hated him. He stole what would have only been yours.”

No…that’s not why I swung my sword at Humbert.

“But it didn’t satisfy your thirst. Nobody loves you. They all forgot about you. They decided they didn’t need you, and they cast you aside.”

No…that’s not true. I…I wasn’t abandoned…

That’s wrong…I know it is. I have Alice.

The recollection of that name seemed to clear away some of the thick fog shrouding his mind. Eugeo clenched his eyes shut. A warning voice in the back of his head said he had to do something, had to act.

Before he could do anything, that bewitching voice slid in through his eardrums again.

“Is that really true…? Does she really love only you…?” she said, pity mixed with a bit of mockery. “You’re forgetting. So I’ll help you remember the true memories you’ve buried deep in your heart.”

Then his vision tilted.

The luxurious down bed vanished, replaced by a deep, dark hole through which he fell without end.

Just then, he smelled fresh grass.

The sunlight was green where it hit the earth through the leaves, and his ears were full of the twittering of birds and the rustling of grass underfoot.

He was running alone through a thick forest.

His point of view was strangely low, his paces short. He looked down and saw skinny little child’s legs sticking out from a pair of short trousers. But soon it felt natural again, and the only thing he felt was overwhelming haste and loneliness.

For some reason, he hadn’t seen Alice all morning.

Once he finished his morning chores of caring for the cows and pulling weeds in the herb garden, Eugeo raced off for the usual meeting spot: the great old tree outside of town. But no matter how long he waited, Alice did not show up. Neither did his other childhood friend, the black-haired boy.

He waited for them until the sun reached the highest point in the sky, then he trotted off toward Alice’s house, filled with a strange sense of unease. She had probably gotten in trouble for some mischief and was forbidden from going to see him. But when he reached her house, Mrs. Zuberg simply shook her head and said, “That’s strange. She left quite early this morning. Kiri-boy came along, so I was sure you’d be with them.”

Eugeo mumbled his thanks and left the village elder’s house, then continued his search, the feeling of unease turning to panic. But Kirito and Alice were nowhere to be found—not in any of their playing spots or hideouts, and certainly not in the center square, where Zink and his sidekicks liked to hang out.

There was only one other place he could think of. That round little clearing deep in the woods to the east, where the other children didn’t dare go. It was their secret spot, full of flowers and sweet fruit, a place the adults called the Fairy Ring.

He raced straight there, feeling the sniffles coming. He was urged on by loneliness, suspicion, and the presence of some third, unknown emotion.

When he finished running down the twisted trail and approached their secret clearing around an especially thick old tree, he spotted a golden shine between the trunks and came to a stop.

That was the familiar gleam of Alice’s golden hair. For some reason, he held his breath and listened. Traces of murmured words reached his ears on the wind.

Why…? Why? he repeated to himself as he snuck up to the clearing. Self-pity and misery threatened to crush him as he hid behind the mossy trunk and peered into the clearing, which was overflowing with Solus’s light.

Alice sat in the middle of the profusion of colorful flowers with her back to him. He couldn’t see her face, but the long golden hair, blue dress, and white apron couldn’t belong to anyone else.

Next to her was a head of spiky, coarse black hair. His best friend in the world, Kirito.

Cold, clinging sweat flooded his palms.

Kirito’s voice traveled to the edge of the clearing, nonchalant. “Hey…we should head back soon, or we’ll get busted.”

Alice replied, “We’re still fine. Let’s stay a little longer…Just a bit?”

Oh no.

I don’t want to be here.

But Eugeo’s feet might as well have been tree roots stuck into the ground.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Alice’s head leaning closer to Kirito’s.

Little shreds of whispering.

It was like a painting, two small figures leaning together in the bright sun, surrounded by brilliant flowers.

No, no, no.

This is a lie. It’s all lies, he shouted from somewhere dark. But no matter how hard he tried to deny it, the certainty that this was some truthful memory summoned from the very depths of his mind grew firmer, filling his chest like bile.

“There…you see?”

She giggled. The forest scene vanished into a smug whisper.

Eugeo was on the massive bed in the middle of the pontifex’s chamber atop Central Cathedral, but he couldn’t dispel the golden shine from his eyes when he closed his lids. His ears still heard phantom whispers from the two.

His voice of reason claimed he met Kirito two years ago, well after Alice was taken away, but it failed to vanquish the dark feeling that filled his heart. He heaved and panted, eyes bulging, while the silver-haired girl gazed at him with pity.

“Do you understand now…? Even her love does not belong only to you. In fact…one wonders if there was any love for you to begin with.”

That sweet voice slid into his mind, each lilted question and insinuation wreaking havoc on his thoughts. Suddenly, boundless hunger and loneliness stood out in stark relief to the rest of his emotions. The surface of his ego cracked and fell away, leaving only the raw desire underneath.

“But I’m not like her, Eugeo.”

Her most provocative suggestion yet came gushing into Eugeo’s mind with the scent of juicy fruit dipped thick in honey.

“I will love you. I’ll give you, and only you, all the love I have.”

Through half-clouded eyes, Eugeo saw the beautiful girl with the silver hair and eyes—Administrator, highest power of the Axiom Church—give him a mind-melting smile. She shifted her legs against the soft sheet and straightened her back. Her hands came up to the chest of her purple silk nightgown to play with the ribbon that held it closed. With graceful fingers, she pulled at the silver ribbon, teasing it open ever so slowly. The full white bosoms that peeked out of the wide collar swayed enticingly.

“Come to me, Eugeo.”

Her whisper was like the voice of his mother in his dream and also like the murmuring of Alice he’d heard during his vision.

In a daze, Eugeo watched the sheer purple cloth fall away from her frighteningly slim waist like flower petals. She really was like a flower—the devilish predatory kind that lured in small birds and insects with its powerful perfume and succulent nectar.

Part of Eugeo was able to recognize the danger as such, but the gravitational pull of that delicate, pale fruit in the midst of the purple petals was so strong, in a mind so frayed by the earlier illusions, that he felt like he was sinking deeper into some sticky liquid.

You’ve never been loved in a way that truly satisfies you, Administrator had said. Now Eugeo himself was beginning to admit this was true. When he was younger, he really did love his parents, brothers, and friends without reservation. The sight of his mother delighted at the flowers he picked for her, and his father and brothers happily eating the fish he caught, filled young Eugeo with joy. He even went into the forest to find healing herbs when Zink the bully and his friends would get sick.

But what did they do for you? After the love you showed them, what did they do for you?

That. That was the part he couldn’t remember.

Again, Administrator’s gentle grin twisted, and a scene from his past flooded up to greet him.

It was the spring of his tenth year, the day that all the children in the village were brought to the clearing so that the elder could assign their callings. He watched nervously as Elder Gasfut glanced down at him from the podium and announced a significant surprise: “Carver of the Gigas Cedar.”

Still, some of the children around him made envious comments. The carver was a prestigious, hallowed position that had existed since the founding of Rulid, and while he wouldn’t get a sword, he’d at least get to swing a real ax. Eugeo wasn’t disappointed at the time, by any means.

He raced back home, clutching the parchment roll tied with a red ribbon, proud to show it off to his family. After the initial silence, it was the middle brother who spoke first. He clicked his tongue and complained that he thought it was going to be the day he didn’t have to shovel the cow poop anymore. Then the eldest brother noted that this threw off their plan for the year’s planting. His father grunted and asked Eugeo when that job would end and whether he would have time for the fields after he got home. His mother disappeared into the kitchen, wary of their wrath.

In the eight years since, Eugeo’s role at home had always been small. And yet, the earnings he made as carver went into Father’s care and eventually turned into more sheep and new tools for the farm. Meanwhile, Zink the apprentice man-at-arms got to spend all his salary on himself, feasting on white bread with thick slices of meat and showing off his fancy hobnailed boots and his sword with its smooth leather scabbard. Meanwhile, Eugeo drudged around on his worn-down shoes, with nothing but stale, leftover bread in his lunch sack.

“There, you see? Did the people you loved ever once do anything for you in return? Or did they actually take joy in your misery and mock you instead?”

Yes…that’s right.

Two years after Alice was taken away by the Integrity Knight, in his eleventh summer, Eugeo remembered Zink telling him that now that the elder’s daughter was gone, there was no girl left in the village who would care for him. The look in his eyes made it clear that he thought Eugeo deserved it. He’d been best friends with Alice, the prettiest and most talented girl in the village, and Zink was delighted at his downfall.

Ultimately, no one in Rulid ever repaid Eugeo’s sentiments. He had the right to receive what he offered in a fair exchange, but instead, he was denied that privilege.

“Then what’s wrong with giving back some of that misery and frustration you’ve been feeling? Don’t you want to? I bet it would feel good to become an Integrity Knight and fly back to your home in all your glory, riding that silver dragon. You can make all those people who humiliated you crawl around in the dirt so you can step on their heads with your shiny boots. Only then can you finally regain all that’s been stolen from you. And that’s not all…”

Slowly, flirtatiously, the silver-haired girl removed the arms covering her chest. Without their support, her soft, shapely curves bounced like ripe fruit.

Administrator held out her arms to Eugeo and gave him a luxurious smile. “At last, you can know the joy of being truly loved,” she whispered. “It’s true fulfillment that numbs you from head to toe. I’m not like those people who only took from you. If you love me, I will give back every bit of love in return. The deeper and more truly you love me, the greater pleasure I will show you, bliss that you could never even imagine.”

Every last drop of Eugeo’s mental strength was being sucked up by the demonic flower. Only the tiniest last shred of reason remaining deep in his heart tried to fight back.

Is that really…what love is about?

Is it really like money…something with numerical value to be traded…?

He thought he heard a voice cry, That’s not true, Eugeo!—and he turned to see a red-haired girl in a gray uniform lunging for him out of the darkness. Before he could reach back, many thick black curtains fell between them, leaving only the sadness of the girl’s eyes in his mind.

Next it was a different voice from a different direction: You’re wrong, Eugeo. You don’t give your love in order to get something in return.

He spun around in the darkness to catch a glimpse of a field, where he saw a golden-haired girl standing in a blue dress. Her blue eyes shone like the one exit from this bottomless swamp, and Eugeo willed strength into his wilted legs to join her.

Once again, the black curtains fell, erasing the green pasture. Without a guiding light, Eugeo halted in the dark. He could no longer stand that burning thirst. The knowledge that he’d been unfairly abused, taken advantage of, and deprived since childhood turned his self-pity and misery into brine that seared his parched throat.

At last, Eugeo hung his head and began to crawl. Bit by bit, he crept toward the oasis of nectar and its sweet, heady perfume.

His fingers parted the smooth sheet of silk and brushed chilly skin. He looked up, and the silver-haired girl with the beauty of a goddess gave him a transcendent smile and took his hand. She pulled him gently, and he toppled forward without a fight. Her utterly naked body enveloped Eugeo, embracing him in its pliable softness.

At his ear, she whispered sweetly, “Don’t you want it, Eugeo? Don’t you want to forget all the sad things and just have your way with me? But not yet. I told you—first you have to love me. Just repeat what I tell you. Put your full trust in me and pledge me your everything. We’ll start with the initiation of the sacred art.”

The only reality for Eugeo by this point was the sweet, soft sensation that surrounded him in every way. Dully, as though it came from someone else, he heard himself croak, “System…Call.”

“That’s right…Now continue…Remove Core Protection.”

For the first time, he sensed her voice faltering and the presence of some kind of emotion.

He mumbled the phrase’s first unfamiliar word.

* * *

“Remove…”

When he gave up and submitted to her orders, he felt his existence getting lighter and thinner. That hunger and thirst that had plagued him for so very, very long melted and vanished into the sweet nectar. But so, too, did some very important feelings he’d held deep inside his heart.

Was this really…the best idea…?

The tiny little spark of doubt flamed up in his hollowing insides, but the next word was already tumbling out of his lips before he could answer his own question.

“Core…”

I’m just tired of being sad. Tired of being in pain.

There was no guarantee of love here. He would not find the love he was promised. And even…even if Alice regained her memory, would she even care about him? Would she want the man who’d violated the Taboo Index to attack Humbert and had fought against many Integrity Knights in open rebellion against the Church? Or would she fear and despise him…?

He would rather stop right here than have to face that outcome.

Through the haze, Eugeo could vaguely sense that if he said the third word, his two-year journey would come to an irreversible end. But if doing so could allow him to forget his sad, painful past—and he could soak in this silver-haired girl’s love—a part of him was fine with that.

“That’s it…now come, Eugeo. Come into me,” she whispered into his ear, the sweetest and most delectable of sounds. “Welcome to eternal stasis…”

As he said the third and final word, a tear fell down Eugeo’s cheek.