23

The ends of Kayaba’s mouth twisted, and he gave an exaggerated shrug, hands wide.

“That was a surprise. Almost like a story event in a single-player RPG, isn’t it? She shouldn’t have been able to recover from that paralysis…As I said, quite unexpected.”

But I couldn’t even hear him. My every emotion was aflame, burning out, plunging into deep, black despair.

I had lost my reason to do anything.

Fighting in this virtual world, returning to the real world, continuing on with my life—it was all meaningless. When my lack of strength led to my guildmates dying those many months ago, I should have joined them in death. I’d never have met Asuna. I’d never have made the same mistake again.

And I didn’t want her to commit suicide? How could I have been so foolish, so shallow? I didn’t understand a thing. How could anyone live with such utter emptiness…?

I gazed down absently at Asuna’s rapier, gleaming on the ground. I reached out and picked it up.

I stared at the frail, thin blade, hoping to find some trace, some record of her existence there, but there was nothing. Not a single fragment of its owner was present in that shining reflection. I slowly climbed to my feet, one of my swords in one hand, Asuna’s rapier in the other.

Enough. I would take my memories of the few days I’d been able to spend with her and then go to the same place.

I felt as though someone called my name from behind me.

But I didn’t stop. I pulled back the sword in my right hand and struck at Kayaba. I took two or three ungainly steps forward, then thrust the blade.

It wasn’t a skill, not even a proper attack. Kayaba swung his shield and easily deflected the attempt with a pitying look, then buried his longsword in my chest.

I looked down passively at the metal glimmer sunk deep into my body. There was nothing to think. Just the objective resignation of my end.

In the right corner of my vision, my HP bar slowly drained. Perhaps my accelerated senses had not worn down yet, because I could see the bar diminishing, dot by dot. I closed my eyes. In the moment that my mind ceased to exist, I wanted to see nothing but Asuna’s smile.

Even with my eyes closed, the HP bar was still there. The strip of red surely and steadily shrank. It felt as though the system itself, the god that had granted me life for so long, was silently licking its chops, waiting for the moment it would claim me forever. Ten more pixels. Five. Then…

I suddenly felt a rage the likes of which I’d never experienced.

It was this. This was what had killed Asuna. Even Kayaba, its creator, was only a part of it now. This was what had ripped apart Asuna’s body, blasted her mind, enveloped me—the will of the system itself. The digital god, mocking its players’ ignorance, swinging its merciless scythe.

What are we? Foolish puppets, dancing on the unreachable strings of the SAO system? If the system says yes, we survive, and if it says no, we perish. Is that all we are?

My HP bar ran out, as if to laugh at my helpless rage. A small purple message appeared front and center: YOU ARE DEAD. God had spoken.

A powerful chill ran through my body. Sensation faded. I could feel countless lines of code setting me free, slicing me into pieces, preparing to feast. The chill rose from my spine to my neck, then flooded into my head. The nerves of my skin, sound, light—everything grew further away. My body was dissolving—turning into polygonal shards—dispersing…

But I wasn’t going to play along.

I opened my eyes. I could see. I could still see. In fact, I could see the look of shock on Kayaba’s face, his hand still gripping the sword in my chest.

Perhaps my senses had accelerated again, and the instantaneous process of my avatar exploding was happening in extreme slow motion. The contours of my body were already softening, dots of light spilling off and blinking out here and there, but I still existed. I was still alive.

“Raaaahh!”

I screamed. I screamed and resisted. Against the system. Against the Absolute.

Asuna, spoiled and lonely Asuna, had wrung out every last ounce of willpower to beat that irreversible paralysis and thrown herself before a strike that couldn’t be blocked. Just to save me. I couldn’t let her sacrifice go to waste. It wasn’t an option. Even if death was ultimately inescapable…there was one thing…left to do…

I squeezed hard, knitting the sensation back as if it were a fine thread. The texture of what I held—Asuna’s rapier—flooded back into my hand. Now I could feel her will exuding from it. I could hear her voice, urging me on.

My left arm began to move, achingly slow. As it rose bit by bit, the contours shuddered, visual artifacts peeling off. But I never stopped moving. Inch by inch, I raised my arm, my soul flaking away.

Unbelievable pain shot through my body, the apparent price for my heresy, but I gritted my teeth and kept moving. The distance, just inches, was unbearably long. I was freezing cold. Only my left arm had any sensation left, and the chill was quickly eating through it. My body was crumbling, spilling like a delicate ice sculpture.

But finally, at long last, the shining silver tip of the sword touched the center of Kayaba’s chest. He did not move. The shock on his face had worn off—only a peaceful smile was left on his slightly opened lips.

Half by my own will, half driven by some mysterious unknown force, my arm closed the final distance. Kayaba shut his eyes and accepted the rapier piercing his chest. His HP bar emptied.

For an instant we both stood there, each with his sword stuck through the other. All of my willpower spent, I gazed into space.

Is this…what you wanted…?

I never heard her response, but there was a momentary thump, a pulse of warmth gripping my left hand. I released the strength that was keeping my body from shattering entirely.

As my consciousness slid into nothingness, I could feel my body disintegrating into a thousand pieces and Kayaba’s doing the same. Two familiar bursts of sound overlapped. Now it all really was drifting away, separating faster and faster. Was that Agil and Klein calling my name? And beyond that, the artificial tone of the system’s voice…

The game has been cleared. The game has been cleared. The game has been…