Chapter 8: Princess Mia...Inflates Her Status

“Is... Is this story true?”

“...I don’t know if it’s true or not, but that’s what it says on the rock.”

This was a hell of a thing to find. Mia massaged her temples in a futile attempt to ward off the oncoming headache. As if to take one last swipe at her, the slab had a final line of inscribed text.

Forget not this duty, those of my blood. Ensure it remains in memory engraved. We are loathers of all that is. We are avengers, wieldings chaos and ruin. Forget not this duty, those of my blood, and fight on! Take revenge on the world!

She stared at the fanatical directive of her ancient ancestor.

Don’t offload your weird obsessions on me, you old fossil!

A sense of profound exasperation bubbled up at the knowledge that her great-however-many-times-grandfather had felt the need to saddle his descendants with this absurd mission. Was being annoying to their young a thing that ran in her family or something? Still, unwelcome as this discovery was, it did put some puzzle pieces together in her mind. Back during the revolution in Tearmoon, no matter how hard she’d tried, nothing had gone right for her. She’d thought the cause had been the meddling of the Wind Crows—Sunkland’s elite spies—operating in Tearmoon, but her assumption had been wrong. The empire had harbored ruinous agents of the Chaos Serpents from the very beginning. In fact, it had grown out of one of them.

I doubt that every single noble is both aware of and has made it their personal quest to realize the first emperor’s goals, but the empire has a long history, and beliefs can gain a lot of momentum over time. I see now why it was so hard to change the course of events back then. Especially if one of the Four Dukes is in cahoots with the Chaos Serpents...

Her initial reaction to this possibility had been “What?! They’ve infiltrated that far up?!” This new discovery, however, had put everything into perspective. It wasn’t that one of the Dukes had been taken in by the Chaos Serpents. The first emperor was the one who’d fallen under their spell, and that initial, burning ambition of his had merely waned over successive generations. The imperial family had simply forgotten its founding father’s creed.

And good riddance too. I’m glad we did. Why wouldn’t we forget?

It was a valueless ideal. Nothing good could come of it, and plenty of harm. Wasting even an iota of brain space on it would be absurd.

In fact, maybe we should just pretend we never saw this... I feel like a good number of people would raise a ruckus if word of this got out. Once the weird rumors start spreading, there’s no stopping them...

For regular nobles, the first emperor’s ambition was, frankly, a huge pain in the rear. They were the ones benefiting from the system, so they were understandably prone to bouts of voluntary amnesia when it came to directives to upend existing establishments. Over time, it was only natural that the voluntary aspect would fade.

I’m pretty sure even father doesn’t know about this. It’s hard to think of something less conducive to enjoying the life he currently lives.

Forgotten...but not irrelevant. Though ancient, a decree like this still had power. A noble in decline could use this as fodder to mount a political attack and denounce the existing system. It would come as an irreconcilable shock to those who had never questioned their history or culture, accepting their own righteousness at face value.

Esmeralda, for instance, is one example of a person I should never show this to...

“Wh-What in the world... Is that you, milady?”

Mia almost leapt out of her shoes at the sudden voice behind her. She was so lost in thought that she hadn’t noticed another person entering the shrine.

“Milady...”

Looking at Mia with worried eyes was her loyal maid, who supported with her shoulder a second figure standing with some difficulty.

“Anne...and Esmeralda? What in the moons are you doing here?”

“Never mind that. What about the story? Is it true?” Esmeralda pressed.

Mia glanced at her and clicked her tongue.

Ugh, literally the last person I wanted hearing about this...

With regard to Alexis, Mia’s honest opinion was that he and his will could buzz off. Even if the account on the stone slab was true, and the first emperor had indeed founded Tearmoon with the intent described, she had no obligation to obey its command.

If I blindly follow the instructions of this lunatic ancestor of mine, I’ll just send myself straight back to the guillotine! No way I’m doing that!

If there was a competition for “most unhelpful object in existence,” this stone slab would be the undisputed winner. She felt a strong urge to throw the thing into the sea. Then drop an anchor on it for good measure.

Why did she abhor it so? Was it because of the insidious effects it might have on her people? The lives of soldiers it might cost through civil war? Of course not. It was because she was forever a proponent of the Mia First principle. She wanted to eat sweets and loll in bed all day. A stable empire was necessary for her to enjoy such a life. Ergo, she did not wish to see it suffer revolution or collapse. Before her scrumptiously indolent ideals, those of her ancestors amounted to little more than drivel. No, worse than drivel! They were a menace!

The last thing she cared about was her ancient forefather’s reasons for founding the empire. To hell with his vengeance! To hell with executions! If someone brought her a brand new guillotine today, she sure wouldn’t lop off any heads with it. She’d use it to chop open some hard-peeled fruits to get at their sweet juices. Like guillotine, like empire.

It’s not about why something was made. It’s about what you do with it.

Of course, there were those who wouldn’t and couldn’t understand things like that, and the most egregious example of such people was standing right in front of her right now.

Ugh, why did Esmeralda have to show up now of all times? I swear, she has the worst timing.

Mia knew her “friend” well. Esmeralda had a strong tendency to conform to the traditions of nobility and the teachings of her parents.

Unlike me, she can be rather naive. It’s too easy to influence her.

“How... How can this be... The first emperor...” whispered Esmeralda, her voice trembling as she ran her hand along the stony inscription.

“L-Look, Esmeralda, you don’t have to take this so seriously. It’s fine...”

Mia trailed off as she realized she wasn’t being heard.

“Our glorious empire...was founded for this? To do the first emperor’s bidding...”

Uh oh, this is bad. I’m not getting through to her! She’s in her own little world now!

The sight of Esmeralda and her hollow gaze caused Mia to panic.

Aaah! Sweet moons! And she’s a bit of an authority nut too! A message from the first emperor is going to hold a lot of sway for her. I’m definitely at a disadvantage here!

Mia was, after all, not the reigning ruler but rather his daughter. Furthermore, she and Esmeralda were kin, and they had as much reverence for each other as, say, distant cousins. In terms of regal heft, the first emperor’s words clearly trumped her own.

Hnnnngh... I need to do something, or Esmeralda’s going to turn into a Serpent too!

Currently, Mia didn’t think Esmeralda or the House of Greenmoon had anything to do with the Chaos Serpents. It had to be some other house following the first emperor’s deranged philosophy to the letter.

I mean, father and I didn’t inherit any of this nonsense. And we’re the imperial family! Could you people stop trying to achieve some crazy goal from generations ago that we’re not even bothering with?

The biggest problem was that the first emperor’s words could turn Esmeralda, who was harmless right now, into someone far less innocuous. Mia needed to stop that from happening. After a moment’s consideration, inspiration struck.

...That’s it! If my word as princess doesn’t carry enough weight...I’ll just inflate my status!

She couldn’t beat the first emperor in authority, but authority wasn’t the way to fight this battle. Change the rules of engagement, and she’d have the upper hand!

“Listen, Esmeralda...” Mia stepped in front of her friend and gently looked her in the eye. “I know the first emperor’s words carry a lot of weight for you. Far more than my own rank ever will. That’s why...I’m going to phrase this another way. Would you be willing to listen to some advice from me? Not the princess, but your best friend Mia.”

Knowing the “princess” she held was a losing bet, she saw the first emperor’s “authority” and raised him “friendship.” While Esmeralda frequently and publicly claimed to be Mia’s best friend, Mia herself had rarely reciprocated. Why would she when she honestly didn’t share the sentiment? Now, however, she was making it official.

“I’m willing to formally acknowledge your position as my best friend, you know? How does that sound?”

Old as it might be, an edict from the first emperor still carried a lot of weight. There was no question about that. It was certainly arguable, if not unequivocal, that every Tearmoon noble should hold him in the highest regard and pride themselves on respecting his wishes. Esmeralda’s attitude was hardly unique; when faced with the first emperor’s words, plenty of nobles would do the same, accepting the first emperor’s words wholesale out of fidelity to the throne.

Put simply, “loyal to the first emperor” wasn’t a unique status. It was actually quite commonplace. “Princess’s best friend” though... Now that had a special ring to it. It was a status in very short supply, mainly due to logistical constraints; there could only be one person who bore that title. Mia might have a hundred tea buddies, but she couldn’t have a hundred best friends. Between the two titles, there was a clear winner.

With the gravity of her new status fully established, Mia then delivered her finishing blow.

“No matter what motives the first emperor might have had when he founded the empire, they mean little now...because there’s one thing that’s far more important.”

“F-Far more important?”

“To rule in peace over a contented people.”

That was the golden rule to lead a golden life. The way to maintain an environment in which every sugar craving could be immediately satiated with a tasty treat. The path to a utopia of rolling around in bed all day without getting a good scolding for it. That was a future worth aiming for.

“If the Tearmoon Empire really was created for such a wicked goal...then as of this moment, I officially declare the mandate annulled.” After her echoing voice faded into the cavern’s walls, she smiled. “So, Esmeralda, what do you say? Rather than the first emperor, how about you follow my lead instead? Free yourself from the chains that bind you to an ancient oath of fealty to him...and forge a stronger bond of fellowship with me, your best friend,” she said with the kind of ingratiating smile often employed by sleazy salesmen and serial flatterers.

She emphasized the last three words, “your best friend,” as a reminder of this once-in-a-lifetime chance to make the title official.