Chapter 15: Princess Mia...Stews It! Then Eats It!

Thus, Mia finally had the ingredients for her long-desired mushroom party.

There were a few private rooms available in Saint-Noel Academy’s cafeteria for dinner parties, during which food would be delivered from the kitchen. Any student could book them for their personal use, and one was currently reserved by the student council.

The mushrooms Mia and her friends had picked were brought to the kitchen where, when the time came, they would be inspected for edibility by specialized staff before being stewed. Upon entering, they were greeted by Saint-Noel’s chief of security, Santeri. He exuded an air of diligent but stubborn dedication to his duties, and after glancing in their direction, he lowered his head in a deep bow.

“Welcome back. As a supervisor of the island, it pleases me greatly to see you’ve returned safe and sound. I do hope you found your mushroom hunting trip enjoyable.”

“Thank you for your concern, and oh, it was very enjoyable,” Mia answered on behalf of everyone.

“That is good to hear. Furthermore, allow me to express my deepest thanks for the invitation to this stew party of the student council. It will be my great honor to attend.”

“Please, you’re far too modest. Without people like you, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy our school life with the peace of mind that comes from knowing our safety is in good hands. It’s only natural for us to show our appreciation. I hope you enjoy this little party of ours.”

After exchanging a series of formalities with Santeri, Mia wandered deeper into the kitchen, making sure the quality of her locomotion was sufficiently nonchalant to not betray any hint of intent or motive.

“Ah, welcome back, Princess Mia.”

One of the kitchen ladies she was acquainted with greeted her.

“Yes, the trip was lots of fun. I’m sorry that we brought more work back for you though.”

They traded some friendly words. Mia then politely greeted each of the cooks in turn. They all smiled back at her. Thanks to Mia’s frequent visits to the kitchen, she was a familiar face to the whole staff by now. It should be mentioned that her visits always resulted in her making off with some food, but her habit of kitchen-lifting was received with surprising warmth by the victims. This was due to the extensive networking that Anne had tirelessly engaged in.

In general, Anne was the only person Mia had no intention of being stingy with. She regularly gave her maid handsome sums of money so she could engage in some therapeutic spending in town. Anne, however, used her allowance for a different purpose. Every time she received money, she’d head into town and pick up a slew of gifts, which she’d then have delivered to various academy staff in Mia’s name. As a result, Mia had gained a reputation as a benevolent princess popular amongst the common people.

Anyway, back to the kitchen. After a round of friendly greetings, Mia walked over to her bulging basket of mushrooms on the counter. The lady trailing her grimaced at the sight.

“You’ve brought us quite the challenge, haven’t you? Fitting this mountain of mushrooms into a single stew is going to be tough. Also, a lot of these mushrooms are...a little difficult to prepare.”

“Yes, it does seem so. By the way, and I’m asking this purely out of intellectual curiosity... How might one go about preparing a Belluga mushroom?”

“Huh? Did you bring back some Belluga mushrooms too?” asked the lady in a surprised voice.

“No, of course not. Like I said, I was just curious. We’ll call it a point of academic interest.”

“Oh, okay. Well... Hm...” The lady pursed her lips in thought. “Belluga mushrooms taste very good, so I think if you just give them a quick wash, then cut them into two or three pieces and stewed them for a while, it’d be fine.”

“Hm, hm... It’s that easy, huh... That’s certainly good news. In, um, an academic sort of way. Oh!” Mia, as if suddenly remembering something, widened her eyes in a decidedly artificial manner. “Would you by any chance happen to know where I can wash my hands? They’re rather dirty.”

She waved them to illustrate.

“Ah, right. After a trip to the forest, they would be, wouldn’t they? You can get some water over there.” The lady pointed, taking her question at face value.

“How clean is the water, by the way? I have delicate princess hands, and they must be washed with clean water. As for how clean...let’s say the kind of water you’d usually wash your ingredients with.”

“Well, you’re good to go then. That literally is the water we wash our food with, so it should be no problem.”

“Ah, excellent. Thank you.”

She smiled and slipped a hand into her pocket.

Hm, wash it clean, cut it into big pieces, and drop them into the pot... Sounds simple, but easier said than done.

Hiding the mushroom in her palms, she cleaned it in the water while pretending to wash her hands. She carefully scrubbed every inch, aiming to give it such a thorough cleansing that it’d be safe to eat even if raw. All the while she kept it concealed. It was a feat of manual dexterity that rivaled the sleights of veteran illusionists. Mia usually tended to be a tad ham-fisted, but for some reason, when it came to mushrooms, her butterfingers were endowed with a newfound deftness. It was, perhaps, a sign that her powers as the Mushroom Princess were finally awakening.

...Again, what even is a Mushroom Princess?

After completing her comprehensive aquatic sanitization procedure, she snuck a few glances left and right before creeping up to the pot of stew. Standing over it, she warily peeked around again.

The one I have to be most careful of is that Santeri fellow. Watch where he’s looking... Have to time it... Three... Two... One... Now!

She burst into motion, her form blurring through sheer speed. In the span of a breath, she’d divided the mushroom into four quarters, thrown them into the pot, and left the scene of the crime. Whistling nonchalantly as she walked—rather, blowing breathy hisses out of her mouth, because she couldn’t actually whistle—she felt a sense of accomplishment filling her already pounding heart.

With her mission complete, she returned to the private room, where she engaged in a carefully timed interval of conversation before making her way to the kitchen again. There was one final step to her plan. It was time for the master stroke.

If they find it beforehand, they’ll definitely stop me from eating it. I know that’s a genuine Belluga mushroom, but I doubt they’ll listen. I have to make sure that doesn’t happen, and there’s only one way to do so!

She snuck in again and approached the pot.

“Ah! No, Princess Mia. It’s still cooking—”

“Oho ho, don’t worry. I’m just having a quick taste. One sip is all. Just one sip,” she said as she raised the lid on the pot.

One of the white mushroom chunks immediately leapt into her sight. Before anyone could stop her, she swiftly snatched it up and plopped it into her mouth. Her slightly-enlarged cheeks undulated a few times. Then pure bliss spread across her expression. The mushroom’s juicy texture delighted her tongue, and its savory aroma pleased her nose.

“Mmmmm... Now this is some serious flavor... There’s a depth to it that I can’t even begin to describe. Aaaah, it’s so goo— Mm?!”

Abruptly, she felt it—a gastrointestinal disturbance. It hit hard, and it hit fast. Her tummy emitted an unnerving gurgle...before it all but twisted into itself.

“Ow... Ow ow ow! Ah, my stomach! It hurts! Augh! Oooh!”

The sharp pain brought her to her knees.

“Ow! Ow! I can’t... This is... Uh oh—”

Her stomach heaved, and she felt the distinct sensation of something flowing back up her throat.

“I-I’m going to... U-Urp...”

The double whammy of nausea and stomachache knocked the consciousness right out of her.