Chapter 24: A Regret Etched into the Soul —Words Delivered, and a Wish Unheard—

Throughout the duration of the revolutionary war in the Tearmoon Empire, Tiona Rudolvon, saint and champion of the revolutionary army, never once stood on the frontlines of battle. Part of the reason could certainly be attributed to her outsized significance for the army; as a military leader and a living symbol of the revolution, her life was simply too important to risk. Mostly though, it was because she wasn’t particularly skilled when it came to wielding a sword.

Despite this, she was not content to stand by and keep her hands clean while others did the dirty work of bathing theirs in blood. She wished to be useful. To fight alongside her people. So, she gave the issue serious thought, and the answer came to her in the form of archery.

Apprenticing herself to the master Lulu archer, Liora Lulu, her skill with the bow flourished. Eventually becoming a top-class archer in her own right, her arrows claimed the lives of numerous enemies throughout the revolution.

Then, the war ended. The imperial family had fallen. The emperor had been put to death. Mere days remained until his daughter, Princess Mia, would meet the same fate. The fighting was over at last. Tiona, however, did not allow her bowmanship to dull, shooting no less than several hundred arrows a day at practice targets. She displayed a diligence so intense that it bordered on compulsion, as though every arrow she loosed was a desperate attempt to strike some invisible vessel of miracles that, when shattered, would allow her to retrieve something lost. Something forever out of reach. Day after day, week after week, her bowstring would continue to thrum.

One day, upon the conclusion of her practice, a man came to her.

“Ludwig Hewitt... You...are the person Prince Sion mentioned. I believe you used to serve Princess Mia?”

“Yes. I thank you for permitting my visit, Miss Tiona.”

“You were given a terrible task during a terrible time. Prince Sion spoke highly of your political acumen. I do hope you will assist in rebuilding this empire of ours. Please, have some tea,” she said, gesturing to a nearby table.

Ludwig did not move. Still and silent, he held her gaze and regarded her for a moment before speaking.

“The purpose of my visit today is to ask a favor of you.”

Tiona responded with an equal span of silence, slowly picking up her cup for a sip. Her eyes closed as she drew in a breath, ostensibly enjoying the tea’s aroma.

“You come bearing a request, then... I will gladly convey it to Prince Sion, if that is your wish,” she said in a probing manner.

“I ask that you speak with Her Highness.”

His words were simple, and there was no deceit in his tone.

“To what end? What is there to speak about at this point in time? I cannot imagine such a meeting would be fruitful...”

Her voice grew stiff at this request. His reply, however, took her by surprise.

“It is my understanding that when you attended Saint-Noel, there was a time when Her Highness struck you on the cheek.”

“...Excuse me? Wha—”

“I’ve been told by Her Highness that she has always desired to apologize to you for her actions that day. I ask that you grant her this chance.”

“I...am not sure what you mean. Struck me? When?”

She frowned as she searched her mind for a matching incident.

Indeed, as the victim of countless episodes of harassment during her time at Saint-Noel Academy, Tiona had long forgotten about this particular offense. Mia’s feeble slap hadn’t even managed to commit itself to her memory. Considering how much Mia hated pain, she could hardly have been expected to put much force behind such an act when it was her own palm doing the striking. The truth was that at the time, as the person on the receiving end, Tiona had felt not rage or shame but confusion at how she was supposed to react to the equivalent of a slightly forceful pat on the cheek.

Her unexpected surprise then baffled Ludwig, and the two engaged in a momentary exchange of perplexity. Finally, he coughed and said, “In any case, would it be possible for you to see Her Highness? And speak to her in person? It would—”

“Change nothing.”

Like an arrow splitting the air, her words severed his hopes. She glared at him.

“So what if she does? What am I to do with her apology now? What will it change? What can it change? It cannot bring back my father, nor the countless souls who perished under the blightful rule of the imperial family and the old noble houses.”

Then, she took another sip of tea.

Mia Luna Tearmoon...must not be forgiven.

She repeated the cautionary thought in her mind, etching its pattern deeper into her soul.

There’s no need to see her. No need to trade words or understand her character. There’s no need...so I won’t.

Tiona...feared what would come of such a meeting. If they were to speak, she would learn what kind of person Mia was. What if she began to feel sympathy? Or a desire to forgive her?

What of my father’s death, then? Am I to overlook it? That is too much to ask.

Yes, the princess might be repenting. Yes, she might turn out to be a decent person if they spoke. She might even be someone who could make amends for wrongs. But not only could that not breathe life back into her father, it would orphan the unfairness of his death. If Tiona faltered, how would her poor father’s soul seek justice? Therefore, she could not allow herself to forgive Mia.

“I will not forgive her,” she declared adamantly. “Nor will I ask Prince Sion to spare her life. But...”

At that, her stony tone wavered.

“But...if you wish to speak with Prince Sion, I won’t stop you.”

Was it a parting mercy? No, it was an escape. She didn’t want to face Mia as a person or wield any power over her life and death. So, she fled, choosing to put Mia out of sight and out of mind. That way, her heart would remain calm. She couldn’t be tempted by the allure of mercy.

Which was why...

...Some time after Mia’s execution, when it was discovered that the assassination of Outcount Rudolvon had not been done under the emperor’s orders, she tasted the bitter sting of regret.

“If I’d...spoken to her then, maybe it would have...”

The rational part of her mind reminded her that the execution was inevitable. No matter what she did, it was all but clear that she had no way of saving Mia. But despite that...or, perhaps, because of that... Because she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she’d never have another chance to speak with Mia... The fact that she refused to trade even a single word, even when it was the last wish of a condemned woman, became a deep-seated regret. It was a regret that etched itself into her very soul, right on top of her own cautionary words—Mia Luna Tearmoon must not be forgiven—overlaying the previous pattern with its own, forming a newer, more bitter wound that would never heal.

“...What a weird dream that was.”

A day before the Holy Eve Festival, Tiona stood in the archery range of Saint-Noel Academy. Having been made painfully aware of her inadequacy with the sword during the Remno incident, she had, after no small amount of brooding reflection, decided to take up the bow. Fortunately, her attendant, Liora, was an expert archer. Under her mentorship, Tiona quickly discovered that she had a knack for archery and began to steadily improve. After finishing her practice that day, she was in the middle of dabbing the sweat off her forehead when someone approached her.

“Tiona, do you have a moment?”

“Huh? Y-Your Highness?”

The situation bore an uncanny similarity to her dream, except the person to appear was Mia herself.

“I’d like to speak to you about something. Are you free at the moment?”

Overcome by the peculiar coincidence, Tiona could only nod.

“Um, I’m terribly sorry, Your Highness. I just finished archery practice, so I probably smell of sweat... If, um, this involves a tea party or something, I’ll go clean up and change first...”

“My, I do seem to have come at a rather inopportune time.”

Mia looked Tiona over and pursed her lips. Tiona’s hair did glisten slightly with sweat. It would probably be uncomfortable for her to stay like that.

“Hm, in that case, why don’t we go take a bath together?”

“Take a— Huh?”

The suggestion clearly went right over Tiona’s head. Mia giggled at the look of bewilderment on her face.

“It just so happens that Chloe recently gave me some interesting bath herbs. Apparently, they’re good for healing fatigue. Since you just finished practice, why don’t we go try them out?”

Like Rania, Chloe had been worried about Mia, and the bath herbs were her way of showing concern. Mia figured she’d better try them today, because she might never have another chance.

“Yes, I think this is an excellent opportunity,” she said, ostensibly to herself as Tiona showed no sign of comprehension, and began making her way to the communal baths.

The early afternoon timing worked in their favor, as the baths were conveniently empty when they arrived. Delighted by this discovery, Mia promptly dumped the whole bag of herbs into the water.

“Y-Your Highness? Are you sure you should just throw them all in like that? Sh-Shouldn’t we ask for permission—”

“Oho ho, don’t even worry about it!” said Mia with an abundance of confidence.

She was, after all, living in the moment. A lack of permission wasn’t going to stop her from turning the communal baths into her personal spa. Or so she thought, until the herbs promptly began to emit smoke after hitting the water. Her heart almost leapt out of her mouth at the startling phenomenon. Soon, white smoke had filled every corner of the chamber, swirling so thickly that she couldn’t even see Tiona a few paces away.

“Y-Your Highness?”

“D-Don’t worry... Th-This is fine. Probably.”

What had been an abundance of confidence immediately shriveled to a sliver, and the quality of her heartedness reverted from swine to fowl. Just as thoughts of Oh, I’ve done it now and I’m in so much trouble began to fill her mind, the smoke thinned at last. It was still a tad thick to pass off as regular steam, but she would probably get away with it with no one the wiser. After a few more murmured recitations of this is fine, her inner chicken finally stopped quivering. As she drew a relieved breath, it occurred to her that she recognized the scent emanating from the water.

“My, isn’t this lucioluna grass?”

“Yes, I think so. It smells so nice.”

Tiona visibly mellowed at the pleasant aroma. The two of them quickly rinsed themselves off and waded into the bath. As the warm liquid enveloped her, Mia sighed in comfort.

Aaah... Chloe did say it’s supposed to be a calming scent. Well, she was right about that.

She could feel the tension draining out of her body. The turbulent storm of worry that brewed within slowed to a pleasant lull.

The water’s nice, the herbs smell great, and we’re both relaxed. Naturally, it’s time to chat now. Good going, Chloe! This is exactly what I was after.

With a guttural hmmm, she stretched out her limbs before sinking deeper into the water. A giggle entered her ears. She gave Tiona a puzzled glance, wondering what had amused her.

“Hm? What is it?”

“Oh, nothing much,” she answered with a smile. “I just noticed that you filled out a little.”

“...What?”

Mia froze. The pleasant lull within immediately reverted to a turbulent storm of worry. But...

“I was a bit worried about you. We all were, after hearing that you hadn’t had much of an appetite recently,” Tiona added as clarification.

“O-Oh, that’s what you mean. You were worried I wasn’t eating.”

Mia nodded. She wasn’t quite sure if the clarification made it any better, but she nodded anyway. Then, she regarded her upper arm. Frowning, she pinched the meaty part.

Did I put on weight? I don’t think I did. Hmm... It doesn’t feel any jigglier. It’s always been this jiggly, I’m pretty sure. Even before summer... Wait. Doesn’t that mean—

“So, um... What was it you wanted to speak to me about?”

Mia was on the verge of an important realization when Tiona pulled her out of her thoughts, forcing her to abandon the train of thought.

“Oh, right. That. Uh...”

Mia straightened slightly and took a deep breath.

“There’s something I need to apologize to you for.”

“Huh?”

The statement was so out of the blue that the only response Tiona could manage was a series of bewildered blinks. Mia continued undeterred.

“I...did something to you, a while ago. Something terribly mean.”

Her voice echoed quietly in the bath chamber.

“Wh-What are you talking about? I don’t... You’ve always been nothing but kind to me, Your Highness. How could you have ever done something mean to me?” said Tiona, flustered by Mia’s bizarre confession. “That’s...completely unthinkable.”

“Oh? Is it? I can be mean from time to time too. When someone tries to flirt with a boy I’ve got my eye on, for example...”

“B-But, I’ve never done anything like that to Prince Abel...”

Just then, a scene from last night’s dream flashed across Tiona’s mind. Mia had said she wanted to apologize. Tiona had pushed her away, refusing to talk, only to be left with nothing but regrets afterward. It was, of course, just a dream. A mere figment of the imagination. Her heart, however, felt the dull pain of bitter patterns etched into its spiritual flesh. So she gathered herself.

“...I don’t know what you speak of, but if...if Your Highness truly has done something mean, then as long as you’ve apologized, which you did just now, I’m sure...”

Somewhere, sometime, there had been a version of herself that believed she must not forgive Mia. Not couldn’t, but must not. And she’d suffered for it.

How awful it must feel...to keep hating someone like that...

Tiona reflected on the rest of her dream. She thought of her ensuing life of hating Mia, and in doing so, how much light and joy had been lost from her days. She thought of the moment she realized her hate had been misattributed, and afterward, how desperately she’d wished she could speak to Mia. Driven by those thoughts, she turned toward the presently-living Mia, and looked her in the eye.

“I’m sure that you’ve been forgiven. I’d forgive you, at least. I...already did, in another life...”

Her last few words, though murmured, seemed to reach Mia, whose expression shifted.

“You...did...”

What tension there was in Mia’s expression seemed to melt away. She stared blankly for a moment, as if the weight that had been lifted from her was so profound that she wasn’t sure how to handle her newfound levity. Then, emotion returned to her face in the form of a relieved smile.

“Aah... Wonderful. That’s...truly wonderful. Now I have no more regrets.”

This time, it was Mia’s final words that unsettled Tiona, who felt a stirring unease in her chest.

“Um, Your Highness, I want to speak to you too. Talk, I mean. I want to spend more time talking with you.”

She put to words the wish that had been etched into her soul. A wish that, in her dream, had been impossible, but now...might yet come true.

For a second, Mia’s face was unreadable. Then, she said, “I see... In that case...once the Holy Eve Festival is over, let’s talk. We can spend all the time together we want then.”

“...The Holy Eve Festival?”

“Yes. The Holy Eve Festival. If I manage to survive it in one piece, we’ll get together and chat the night away.”

It made sense. As a member of the student council, their myriad duties during the Holy Eve Festival likely made it difficult for them to relax before it was over. Waiting until then was perfectly reasonable. But for some reason...the sense of unease in Tiona’s chest only tightened its grip on her.

“Well, I think that will do it for now. Thank you very much for your time today,” said Mia as she smiled and rose from the pool.

Tiona looked up at her departing form...and felt her heart skip a beat. There was an eerily ephemeral air to the princess, as if she were the moon who, though once the protagonist of the sky, was now being relieved of her role as the night waned. Perhaps it was simply the faint haze of the bath chamber obscuring her form, but...

“Y-Your Hi—”

The feeling was short-lived. Tiona’s cry was cut off by the entrance of Bel and Citrina.

“Ah, Miss Mia. What a coincidence.”

“Greetings, Your Highness.”

“My, are you two here for a bath?” asked Mia.

“Yes we are...but why is it sort of foggy in here?” asked Bel, who glanced around curiously.

“I tried using some bath herbs that Chloe gave me. It was actually pretty fun. So much smoke came out when they hit the water.”

Mia laughed. She was back to her usual cheerful self, the ephemeral aura about her all but gone...

And then, the day of the Holy Eve Festival arrived.