Volume 3, Chapter 75 – No Past

What kind of future do you want?

For Yeluo, for the self that had already lost her memories, the self that had lost her past, even the future had slowly become hazy and unreal.

At that moment, even though she had clearly obtained a powerful strength that seemed like it could rewrite her life, in that same moment she had forgotten what it was she had been stubbornly holding on for all along.

For the Half-beasts…

No matter how you looked at it, it was ridiculous, just a reason that could only fool herself.

“Hey… what kind of future do you want?”

Later, at some point, an outsider named Xingyu Muxi asked her that.

“I… I want the Half-beast race to be able to live happily…”

In the instant before she could finish her sentence, her words were completely cut off.

“Your eyes are telling me that this is a lie.”

“A… a lie?”

At the last moment when her memories were lost, the past Yeluo had in fact already become history. The only thing still remaining in her heart was that obsession that was like a nightmare.

Half-beasts.

And Half-beasts.

Her own tribesmen.

But why did she want to save her tribesmen?

Yeluo was actually very lost.

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A tremendous price had been paid for that powerful strength. At the moment she traded for that strength, it was as if her entire self had been replaced.

All that remained were blank memories, a blank heart, and a blank world.

“If that really is a lie, I still want to see it through properly.”

Deep down she actually knew very well that she did not like that obsession that was like a nightmare.

But if even that obsession were gone, her life would be as if it had lost its goal, like a walking corpse, silently looking at the world.

Would a life like that… really have any meaning?

So even if it was a lie, a lie she did not want to admit, Yeluo still felt that she needed to see it through properly.

“Although I don’t know what exactly has happened to you now, I can see the confusion in your heart.”

The beautiful elf girl was clearly smiling, yet she gave Yeluo a strange feeling that her entire body had been seen through by the girl.

“Down in your heart, in your own heart, what is it that you really think?”

It was like a demon whispering.

What did she herself really think deep down inside?

She did not know, and she could not even bring herself to think about it.

The only memories left lingered on her impressions of Tianyin and Fisiel. It was actually only because of these people’s existence that she could still sense that indescribable feeling of reality.

But…

If there came a day when Tianyin or Fisiel no longer needed her, then what should she do?

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“You don’t know, right? Actually, I already saw it before. You want Fisiel to join our Eden, and in truth, that is also because you don’t want to see Fisiel die, right?”

She did not want to see the knight girl die.

That was true.

Back then, her weak self had been protected, and the self afterward, as well as the self she was now, was only because she had wanted to use her own strength to protect Fisiel’s safety.

“Your very existence has actually become completely tangled.”

As Yeluo’s thoughts began to grow chaotic, Xingyu Muxi spoke again.

“You’re very contradictory. In my eyes, you are clearly an NPC, yet I see a personality that is different from an NPC… It is very contradictory. On the one hand you want to save the Half-beasts and help Fisiel, but on the other hand your actions tell me that you don’t really want to save the Half-beasts, and helping Fisiel is actually just something you are doing along the way.”

Xingyu Muxi possessed a strange information ability.

Now that the flow of time in the game data had gone off track from the real world, by relying on this bizarre information ability, Xingyu Muxi had indeed obtained Yeluo’s data.

And along with her secret observations during this period, Xingyu Muxi could see that ever since summoning this Half-beast chieftain, Yeluo’s entire personality seemed to have changed because of something.

And she seemed to have gained an eerie, powerful strength as well.

“Am I… very contradictory?”

The catgirl muttered to herself.

“But… I don’t know, I don’t know… Right now I only remember that I’ve forgotten many things, things that seem very precious…”

Although she could feel that she had forgotten something, because what Gluttony had devoured was far too thorough, when it came to what exactly she had forgotten, Yeluo could not even recall the concept of it.

“Forgotten, huh?”

Of course, for Xingyu Muxi, these few brief words gave her crucial information.

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Someone with intentions would naturally think of using some precious existence that had been forgotten in order to obtain strength.

Of course, although something like that sounded very outrageous, it might still exist.

And it was in this moment that Xingyu Muxi guessed this point.

“So you used the existence you forgot to obtain strength…”

And not only that, the girl even seemed to have gone one step further and guessed what it was that Yeluo had forgotten.

“So you used your past and traded it for strength?”

“My past?”

Hearing that, Yeluo was slightly taken aback.

“Yes, your past. If I’m not mistaken, you seem to have lost your former memories, haven’t you?”

To be precise, in Yeluo’s memory, before she became the Half-beast chieftain, before her parents passed away, her mind had always been full of the precious memories of being together with her parents.

So at that time, in order to save Lancelot, in a rush she had chosen to trade her most precious memories in exchange for Throne-class strength.

And that was exactly how it went. She obtained immense strength and killed Grinrui because of it, but it also created a self who no longer had those memories…

Losing those memories was the same as her own past being forgotten.

And Yeluo without a past… was she really still Yeluo?

“Yes, I don’t have my former memories. I don’t have a past… I’ve forgotten my past…”

The catgirl admitted it honestly.

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“I don’t want to be like this either, but right now I don’t even know how to look for a direction in life. This time I have been running all over for Fisiel, running all over for my tribesmen, but these things are not what I truly want…”

After all… the feeling of having nothing at all in your heart really hurts.

Without memories, without a past, it was as if at that moment she no longer had a future.

“Oh my, even though I don’t know what it feels like to forget your past, I actually came to find you because I could see that…”

“Eh?”

Yeluo’s fluffy cat ears twitched as she looked at Xingyu Muxi with a blank expression.

“Me? But… but I already don’t have anything left…”

“You do. Now, from this moment on, you have a life that belongs to you and a future that belongs to you.”

“A future… that belongs to me?”

“Right. It might be a little overboard, but please remember this. From today on, your life only needs to be for Xiaoyin, alright?”

“For… Xiao… yin?”

Translator Note

What a devil whisper… xD

Anyway, I don’t know why the author put this story in this chapter, even though it’s unrelated to the previous and next chapters. I was confused too~

But then, I found out that it will be impacted later on the near of the end of this volume~