Volume 9, Chapter 22 – A Little Easier to Bear

At the moment of birth, it was within pitch black chaos.

So-called Chaos was nothingness.

Nothingness meant that there was nothing at all.

Within Chaos, there was no concept of time, nor any concept of space. Here, everything was chaotic and without order.

There was no light, so naturally there was no concept of light. And with nothing existing, the concept of life would not appear either.

Yet… so-called nothingness, so-called chaotic Chaos, actually still possessed infinite possibilities.

Infinite possibilities gave rise to infinite worlds. Worlds were born from Chaos, existed within Chaos, yet at the same time did not exist within the concept of Chaos.

Chaos was “nothing”, while the endless worlds were “something”.

All things return to annihilation. So-called annihilation meant that even after being born, everything would eventually return to Chaos. Therefore, even “something” that was completely opposite to the concept of Chaos, those endlessly born worlds, would ultimately still welcome their moment of extinction.

However, this seemingly unbreakable “law” was mercilessly shattered like this.

Worlds should have been destroyed, just as the river of time would eventually flow to its end.

But in some worlds, there emerged “concepts” that the chaotic “nothingness” could not tolerate.

That was “eternity”.

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Eternity meant unchanging. And unchanging meant that worlds which should have welcomed destruction ultimately escaped their destined end.

And when a world could not be destroyed, then obviously, a world born from Chaos would no longer return to Chaos. Instead, it would break away from Chaos and become a world independent of Chaos.

Eternity and annihilation were opposites.

Correcting those worlds that had altered the trajectory of destruction, returning those worlds that had originally escaped annihilation back into annihilation, that was the reason “Tianyin” was created.

And so.

In that instant, or perhaps after millions upon millions of years had passed, within Chaos, a girl who possessed a unique individuality was born.

As the first, and perhaps the last “chaotic life”, as the very beginning, the girl herself symbolized the origin of life.

The girl’s body was pure and without blemish.

Her eyes were like the countless stars born within worlds, brilliant and dazzling.

Her hair was silver white, mixed with not even the slightest impurity, symbolizing the singular purity within her heart.

Although from the moment of her birth, she already possessed a “mature” body, and Chaos had bestowed upon her an understanding of personality as well as corresponding “knowledge”.

Even so, the girl was still just a newborn infant. Toward the outside world, she still maintained her original curiosity.

Of course, because nothing could be seen within Chaos, from the moment the girl was born, the Chaos filled entirely with “nothing” began to reject her existence.

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The girl was “something”. Although she was a life actively nurtured by Chaos, her very essence was a representative of “something”.

The two were opposites. Nothingness could tolerate the girl, but it could not tolerate the “something” aura that existed upon her.

Thus, the girl who had just been born was forcibly delivered to a world whose fate of destruction had been altered, becoming an “illegal intruder” into that world.

The pure girl, once created, was immediately thrown into the mission of “destroying worlds”.

No one taught the girl. No one guided the girl.

Arriving in an unfamiliar world, although she was filled with boundless curiosity toward this world, having already been given the duty of correcting life, she still very “obediently” carried out the meaning of life that Chaos had bestowed upon her.

Her life existed to correct. Chaos was her father and mother. And as a child of Chaos, as their “daughter”, she only needed to obediently listen to her parents.

The power of annihilation was the power Chaos initially gave the girl to destroy worlds.

And in the first world, the girl very easily destroyed that world which, in her eyes, was extremely beautiful.

Although her hands were stained with blood, although she cruelly harvested countless wailing souls.

Although she completely turned the entire world into desolation, leaving behind only a dead and collapsing world.

The pure white girl still stood like a flower blooming alone amid wind and snow, gazing upon her “result” with a beautiful, spotless smile.

This was the memory of the very beginning, when the girl destroyed a world.

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After that, the girl destroyed world after world. But slowly, during the process of destruction, the part of her heart that belonged to “something” began to take effect.

And because of the girl’s pure nature, her personality was as simple as a blank sheet of paper.

And precisely because of this, when facing those who curiously asked her where she came from, the girl could calmly state that she had come to destroy the world.

And precisely because of this, after destroying one world after another and killing so many lives, the girl was still able to preserve a heart as “clear and transparent” as crystal.

But also because of this, when someone approached her with goodwill and went to every length to draw close to her, the pure girl would not even utter a single word of refusal like “no”.

In one particular world, the girl felt what “liking” was for the first time.

Although she could not understand it, her simple self still gave rise to the emotion called “liking”. And because of the existence of this feeling of “liking”, the process of destroying that world was delayed by her for a period of time.

Although in the end, being a well behaved and obedient child, as well as the deep rooted “desire” to destroy worlds, still gained the upper hand, from that moment on, the seed called emotion began to take root and sprout.

The power of annihilation began to change because of it. Joy, anger, sorrow, happiness. The part of annihilation that had changed became the Original Sins, while the remaining part turned into abyssal power filled with destruction.

Because her inner emotions grew rich, she began to question her own mission.

And because she loved and cherished those beautiful worlds one after another, after destroying worlds and killing lives, a powerful sense of guilt arose within her heart.

Self reproach and guilt, these emotions began to fill her life like a nightmare.

Yet even self reproach and guilt could not stop her own “instinct” to destroy worlds.

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Slowly, the girl fell into despair. She wanted to stop the endless mission, so she chose to end her own life.

But the girl could not die. She tried to kill herself thousands upon thousands of times. Even if she cruelly erased her own existence, in the next moment she would still reappear.

In the end, she collapsed.

A collapse of will, a collapse of thought, a collapse of reason.

But it was useless. After collapsing, those illusory will, thoughts, and reason would still recover. And the recovered girl would continue to experience the nightmare like cycle.

Self reproach and guilt, collapse.

Recovery, self reproach and guilt, collapse.

Recovery again, self reproach and guilt, collapse.

“If… if I subconsciously stop feeling these emotions, would it feel a little better?”

In the end, the battered girl chose to become an existence that retained only reason and abandoned all emotion.

Because only in this way could the agonized self feel just a little easier.