Chapter 21.2

Teacher Mei did not know how to get along with Chu Xiaoxiao. Even though she tried hard to show a smile on her face, it looked as if  the other side saw through her facade, which left her at a loss.

“Xiaoxiao, Ms. Mei is here.”

When Chu Xiaoyi called Xiaoxiao as they reached the classroom’s  door, he saw the little bun in the room look up.

To be honest, Chu Xiaoyi was equally unsure of what the final outcome would be.

Anyway, the worst case scenario was that the two sides would fall apart. Teacher Mei would walk away, and Chu Xiaoxiao’s childhood memories would be filled with a negative impression on her childhood teacher.

For now, he could only leave some space for the two to talk and hope for the best.

After closing the door, Ms. Mei looked at the silent Chu Xiaoxiao, standing in place a bit awkwardly, not knowing how to speak. She was unable to maintain her trembling smile, her expression was a bit out of control, and an awkward silence filled the room.

Chu Xiaoxiao also did not know what to say. She looked at Ms. Mei speechlessly, not knowing what she was looking at. Both sides were like frozen wooden poles.

After ten seconds or so, Teacher Mei finally adjusted to the atmosphere and said, “Xiaoxiao, I do not know how to talk with you nowadays….”

She was now being upfront about what she felt. She used to be stern in her attitude then friendly when the former didn’t work, but now she was really exhausted.

Chu Xiaoxiao asked, “Teacher, do you dislike your job, or do you dislike me?”

Ms. Mei suddenly faced her straightforward question and instantly felt crushed. According to logic, a teacher should not show their dislike to a child. The problem is that even if she said that she liked her, the other party did not seem to believe her.

But as Chu Xiaoyi said, Chu Xiaoxiao did not care about likes or dislikes. She only cared about the attitude of the other party.

As Ms. Mei thought of this, she mindfully adjusted her wordings and said, “Well, this kind of thing can not be simply divided so easily.”

“I sometimes like my work, sometimes not so much …… But this does not mean that I truly hate my job. You could say that being a teacher is too tiring, so I can not control my emotions very well sometimes.”

Ms. Mei was not sure if the child could understand her. After she personally admitted her exhaustion, she suddenly felt relaxed.

She admitted with a bitter smile, “This is really my fault. I should regulate my own emotions, so as not to affect Xiaoxiao. But I can’t keep my spirits up all day either, so I can only try my best most of the time.”

Teacher Mei would not have said such things before, and most three-year-old children could not understand it either as they were still in their ignorant phase.

Chu Xiaoxiao nodded in understanding. She thought back to their first encounter when school started this year; the halls were filled with chaos. Therefore, she could generally understand Ms. Mei’s emotions.

For the first time, Ms. Mei saw her showing positive feedback. She said stiffly, “Then why did Xiaoxiao do that kind of thing? We already shook hands and made up last semester, right?”

“There was no handshake and calling of truce, you didn’t make peace with me.”

Ms. Mei was a little anxious, and forced herself to say, “How come I didn’t? Haven’t I tried to change?”

Chu Xiaoxiao said, “Your face is smiling, but your heart does not feel so.”

“……”

Ms. Mei found that Chu Xiaoxiao was indeed unusually sensitive to emotions, so she simply confessed, “Because I also do not know whether we have truly made up, my heart is still uncertain.”

“I can only take the lead in conveying goodwill to Xiaoxiao and tentatively smile at you, waiting for your feedback to confirm… ”

“If Xiaoxiao does not give me feedback, I do not know what you are thinking, and it will be more difficult to determine our relationship.”

Ms. Mei simply walked over to her and she sat down in front of her. She said helplessly, “Xiaoxiao, you rarely give me feedback.”

Children were praised for doing the right thing, criticized for doing the wrong thing, and it’s the feedback that comes back and forth between teacher and student that guides their behavior.

Chu Xiaoxiao, however, had an invisible system where she seemed to go through screening people around her in advance. She even never gave feedback to some of them.

Xiaoxiao showed a thoughtful look. She could see her teacher’s emotions, but the teacher seemed unaware of her emotions.

In her teacher’s opinion, she had presented goodwill, but Chu Xiaoxiao was slow to recognize them, so the misunderstanding got deeper.

Chu Xiaoxiao asked, “Then why did you not just show a smile at the beginning?”

She was still a bit confused. Ms. Mei was usually quite serious in class, always maintaining a stern face.

Teacher Mei smiled sheepishly. She couldn’t help but scratch her face as her eyes drifted to the side. She laughed embarrassedly, “I always smiled when I first started, but my demeanor was not very effective in controlling the class…”

Ms. Mei looked kind and lovely at school. She used to smile all the time when she first joined the workplace, but she couldn’t suppress the children who were reckless and noisy.

Children were a bit discerning and black bellied. Once they found out that you were a pushover, they would act up and become overbearing, paying no heed to you.

Ms. Mei was at a disadvantage compared to the old-timers in terms of showing dominance and controlling the playful children, so she naturally needed to set up a different persona.

Chu Xiaoxiao belonged to the type of children who were understanding, but many children simply do not know what they are doing, and if unchecked, would always be rowdy.

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