Chapter 18: Homeward Bound

Chapter 18: Homeward Bound

Tiny, twinkling eyes. Two tiny hands clasped together. Opening her tiny kitten mouth, my little Big begins to speak.

"If you could choose between a girl with big breasts or a girl with small breasts, which would it be?"

There are just a few dark hours left as our little trip draws to a close. The bullet train rushes forward, hurdling through time and space with laser-like precision. This is the train that will carry me and my little Big home.

Sitting next to me, she poses the same question as the day before.

But this time, I give her a straight answer.

"I love a girl with tiny tits."

My answer seems to satisfy her, and she settles back into her seat with a nod. I'm no fortuneteller, but I'm pretty sure those little boobs of hers aren't going to grow bigger any time soon.

But I have to keep my thoughts to myself. One slip of the tongue, and she'd grate my head like a radish on her washboard chest.

I do love big tits, you know.

There's a world of difference between big boobs and small ones. Even the thought of comparing them is ridiculous.

But…

That has nothing to do with my little Big.

She's the one I love.

"You really didn't like that Katie, did you," I say.

"Meh," she replies.

As if she couldn't care less about it.

Is she joking?

"It's just that when I tried to call her," I explain, "the look on your face said you didn't want anything to do with her."

"It was just lame the way you thought we could count on her."

She tossed off the comment as if it hardly mattered at all.

But I can understand why she's acting that way.

She's just trying to put me in my place, being a year older and all.

She wants to revel in it.

That's Big's pride talking.

She always wants to carry herself a certain way.

I speak up. "After all we've been through, Big, what was it I was looking for, anyway?"

"What?!" she fires back. "Why are you asking me?"

I guess she's right. It's not really the kind of thing you should be asking someone else.

In any case, I think I already have the answer. Deep inside, I know.

There's no point in even saying it, really.

Just like the thing little Big has found.

In fact, we had our "missing pieces" before this journey even began.

They're the kind of answers a person doesn't need to travel anywhere to find.

"Look at this train car," Big says. "Everybody's dozing off. They look dead tired. We should really stop talking and let them get some rest."

My Big always knows when to mind her manners.

That is, except for randomly asking people about boobs.

"But like the saying goes," Big adds, "it ain't over till the fat lady sings. We'll be in trouble if we nod off and miss our stop. We can't let ourselves fall asleep too."

Just as I'm about to tell her that I'd already thought of that, I look over and see Big snoozing away.

That was quick.

She definitely knows how to embrace a clich?.

And this story can only end one way.

". . . . . . . . ."

I reach over and pinch her tiny cheek.

It's so soft and springy.

But she doesn't react at all. She must be out like a light.

With a small sigh of relief, I settle back into my seat.

Graduation.

My Big will be graduating in no time.

But I'm going to be all right.

My little Big has faith in me.

I won't let her down.

Meanwhile, I'll be looking forward to the day when little Big and I can go off on our adventures together, exploring the unknown.

This time, though, I'll be the one that takes the first step.

Reaching out, I take my little Big's hand in mine.

Afterword

True communication is simply impossible without language. There is just no way to get your meaning across by remaining silent. While some people are exceptionally sensitive and have the ability to read unexpressed emotions and thoughts, the majority of people will never be able to really understand you without words.

Put another way, this means that without words, there is no real communication. You may think in your head, "that person's a piece of shit," for example, but unless those words come out of your mouth it's unlikely that they'll ever know it. Personally, I think if someone's being a bonehead, you should just go ahead and say it. Of course, that's not always possible given everything we have to take into account in our daily lives. Oftentimes there are so many factors to consider that being that straightforward isn't really an option.

So society does put some restrictions on what we can and can't say. I've been trying to be mindful of that lately. At the same time though, it's not healthy to keep bottling everything up. I often find someone I think I can spill my guts to, but the minute they're in front of me get caught up in how they might react and only ever get a third of it out. What they get is just a faint whisper of what I really wanted to say.

The problem with keeping everything in is that positive feelings like gratitude get trapped inside along with everything else. I often find myself lowering my head in embarrassment just trying to get out the words "thank you". I'm not a great speaker, so actually talking about what I feel is not easy for me. I much prefer to type it or write it instead. I'm envious of people who can simply let out whatever's inside them.

This novel is a story about a narrator who knows he won't be able to communicate unless he puts his feelings into words, but somehow he just can't do it and gets stuck in indecision. This character is pretty sure that his Big knows how he feels, but he also knows that she wants to hear him actually say it.

Acknowledgements

Special thanks to the editors of impress Quickbooks and to Mr.Suzuki for their kind assistance and guidance. Chiwawa Iwasaki, my illustrator, has created an adorable look for my female characters Katie and Little Big. It's hard to express the depth of my gratitude to them. I would also like to thank my friends for sticking by me and my family for always being there when I need them.

Most of all, my heartfelt thanks go out to everyone who takes the time to read this novel.

As a side note, this novel was originally published as one of the winners of the AKIBA PC Hotline Award, so the main setting was supposed to be in Akihabara. In fact, most of it takes place in AKIBA, which is a parallel dimension to Akihabara according to the story. At any rate, both Akihabara and AKIBA are purr-fectly strange worlds, don't mew think?

About the Author

I go by the name "Maho".

I write novels and I also program video games.

I like to entertain people, and love to see them enjoying my work. I also love going out and sharing a drink with my friends.

My hope is that something I create might inspire someone or help them move forward in their life.

You can follow me on Twitter at @mahoge_maho

Message from the Translators 1: Dawn Croft

This is a story about one person's struggle to speak out and find his authentic voice. Though it is played out in the drama between a teenage boy and his year-older crush, lost in a parallel dimension to the already-otherworldly Akihabara in faraway Tokyo, the struggle itself is one that is both universally common and deeply resonant within all of us. In a sense, we all find ourselves inexplicably locked into the kind of quest with which Big and the narrator are charged: finding what truly has meaning for us in this often chaotic, often whimsical, often tragic and incomprehensible life.

As in the story, the reward for finding that "missing piece" is nothing less than our freedom?the freedom to escape the confused muddle of superficial, everyday drama and "come home" to who we really are and what we're really meant to do with our lives. Finding peace in this certainty then allows us to reach out and offer genuine love to the people we care about, as the narrator does when he reaches out for Big's hand at the end of the tale.

Ultimately, finding our authentic "voice" allows us to go beyond even our personal circle and contribute something meaningful to the wider world around us. This is the freedom, as our hero and heroine eventually find, to stride boldly into the uncertainty of our futures with a sense of confidence, courage, curiosity, and delightful adventure.

On the other hand, the cost of losing this game is no less than the kind of endless, wandering confinement that Katie pronounces on the poor man with his precious chocolate wrappers?a man who tries to fill his longing for authenticity with shallow, meaningless trinkets from the outside world. We may go on living and breathing without a deeper purpose in our lives, but as the capricious cat-girl?wise and unpredictable and maddening as Fate herself?proclaims, if we cannot find what we are looking for in the inner world (of commitment, of desire, of authentic selfhood and contribution) we will never find any meaning in the "real" world either. Our souls will be forever condemned to wander endlessly in search of the pieces that make us whole.

Underneath its exceptional characters and fantastical settings, this is truly a profound and universal story made even more meaningful by the combined effort taken to communicate and adapt it to an international audience. Its author, Maho, had to find his authentic voice in getting the images and inspiration for the story out onto paper in a clear, compelling way; the publishers at impress QuickBooks had to find a way to get that story out to readers all over Japan; the project managers at Conyac had to find the right translators to convert the Japanese language, expressions, and tone into authentic, engaging English prose; and the publishers at impress QuickBooks had to again push that translation out to readers worldwide. What started as a flash of an idea in Maho's head is now in the hands and hearts of people around the globe, entertaining them and inspiring them to find their own calling?to write their own authentic life stories as well.

And if that isn't an example of finding one's true voice, I don't know what is. It has been a privilege and a joy to be a part of this transformative process and I deeply hope, in our own authentic missions as translators, that we have been able to serve as conduits to spread Maho's contributions far and wide.

Message from the Translators 2: Susumu Fukuhara

How do people outside Japan get to know about Japan? Some people associate Japan with Hayao Miyazaki's animation films*1, while others might point to Kurosawa*2 or Godzilla*3 films. Some people are even unaware that these works have anything to do with Japan. My guess, however, is that most readers who pick this book have a keen interest in Japan and Japanese language.

Japanese people get to know about Western novels and films through English-Japanese translation, and some of the translated books even become the bestsellers*4. But can you come up with any book translated from Japanese to English that has recorded huge sales in your country? It seems that with the exception of some popular works such as those by Haruki Murakami*5 or Pokemon comic books*6, the vast majority of such translated materials never even come close.

Actually, the history of Japanese-to-English translation is very short. Exceptionally great translation works of that sort have been done by some great minds who perfectly understand both Japanese language and Japanese culture. One such person is Edward G. Seidensticker, one of the students in U.S. Navy Japanese/Oriental Language School*7 in Colorado who was given a special mission to decode Japanese military messages during the Second World War. After the war, he introduced to the English-speaking world great literary works by Yasunari Kawabata, Yukio Mishima, and Junichiro Tanizaki. Ironically, those who mastered Japanese to defeat the Japanese army ended up leading the way in bridging the cultural barriers between Japan and the United States. Then why aren't there that many successful Japanese native translators? While Japanese people study English very hard, even the college students who are supposed to understand English well have a hard time translating even a few lines of Japanese into English. One of the reasons is that they get stuck with the many Japanese words which are difficult to translate into English equivalents.

A glance at one sentence from the original Japanese text of this book will demonstrate this translation challenge.

Original Japanese Text

English Translation

Japanese word 苦手 (nigate) is a hard word to put into English. How it is translated largely depends on the way it is used. Unless you analyze the concept, know how it is being used in the context of the conversation, and know an English expression used in similar situations, you will not come up with a proper translation at all. Knowing the dictionary equivalent is only the tip of the iceberg.

Another example is the debate over how to put the Japanese word 先輩 (senpai) into English. As far as I know, in English there is no concept that matches this Japanese word. Dawn-san solved this problem by giving the petite girl one year senior to the narrator the nickname "Little Big". The original Japanese text has many, many such words and expressions. The Conyac and Impress team have made an excellent translation team to tackle such a difficult mission. This work has given me the courage to inch forward as the narrator of this book might have done.

Special thanks to the Conyac team who gave me the opportunity to be a part of such grand project, and Dawn-san for her excellent proofreading and editing work. Without the experienced team at Conyac, I could have never completed such long Japanese-English translation. Thanks to Jack-san and Teki-san of the Conyac team for their kind support and encouragement. And thank you especially to Maho-san, who created a great story with excellent characters?the indecisive high school boy, Big, and Katie (who is called Nekomi-san in the original text). Thank you also to Chiwawa-san for the excellent illustrations. Also special thanks to my parents, my brother, and my sister who support me both emotionally and financially.

Notes:

Susumu Fukuhara

Standard translator (English to Japanese, Japanese to English) at Conyac, and National Licenced Guide (English).

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About "impress QuickBooks(R)"

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Publication information

The Akiba Labyrinth: A Little Trip with My Little Big

First published May 15, 2014 *Japanese version

Written by Maho

Publisher:Impress Business Development, LLC

1-105 Jinbocho Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo 101-0051 JAPAN

Contact information:

Email: quickbooks_info@impress.co.jp

Distributor:Impress Corporation

1-105 Jinbocho Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo 101-0051 JAPAN

Copyright(c) 2014 by Impress Business DevelopmentLLC All rights reserved.

Translator:Dawn Croft, Susumu Fukuhara

Collaborator:Conyac https://conyac.cc/en/

Illustrations:Chiwawa Iwasaki

Editor:Hirona Suzuki

Cover design:CreatorsStudioTYPE-4

Planned by:impress QuickBooks Project

Produced by:Digital Directors. Corporation.

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