Chapter 4: Evil Worthy of a Villain
Chapter 4: Evil Worthy of a Villain
MIA was sitting in the living room alone, glued to the television screen. She was watching a superhero live-action series that was broadcast every Sunday morning. She had yet to miss recording an episode.
On the screen, there were five Champions of Justice and one villain. As the villain briskly waved his hand, his henchmen appeared and engaged the Champions of Justice in battle.
“Ah, henchmen! I wish I had them too.”
Unfortunately, Supreme Ruler of Evil Mia Oonari was on her own in her conquest. Those who swore loyalty to her family and Gealach over the ages had slowly died off in wars against the Champions of Justice.
She wished she could conjure up some henchmen with her magic, but she didn’t even know where to begin thinking up an image for that… The knowledge provided by her ancestors on how to conjure up minions, along with the numerous contracts made with ancient dragons sleeping on Gaea, and eldritch beasts from beyond the void, were all supposedly lost in one of Gealach’s many secret lairs when they all burnt down one after another.
Without guidance, Mia couldn’t even imagine what shape she should give her minions, how they would move, or what kind of attacks they would use. Deciding on each of these things, and then creating her underlings based on that—the thought of all that work alone filled her with fatigue.
“Oh well, unlike that villain, I have my magical powers. Now I just have to put them to good use and get rid of those pests!”
Of the things she could’ve done, the other day she ended up visiting her enemies’ base and was treated to coffee and shortcake that tasted like happiness, but she only went as a favor to Aya, nothing more.
Next time, I’m definitely going to get them! Mia swore to herself, clenching a fist, and returned her undivided attention to the screen.
There, the battle between the forces of evil and the Champions of Justice had reached its end. Of course, it had been the latter that emerged victorious. However, Mia was only watching the show to study up on what being a ‘villain’ was all about, so she didn’t care much about who won and who lost. In other words, she was only preoccupied with the concept of ‘evil’.
Her father used to say that they were ‘evil’. The position of the Supreme Ruler of the evil organization known as Gealach had been passed down from one generation to the next, and Mia was the one occupying it now.
“We must purposely don the title of evil and conquer the world in order to protect this blue planet, even if that means being resented by humanity as a whole.” Father’s words rang clear in her mind.
They were evil, therefore they were resented. That much she could understand. But Mia never wanted to upset or trouble people, or make them cry. She didn’t want anyone to hate her. She had a nagging suspicion that, maybe, she hadn’t been able to fully embrace being ‘evil’ yet.
That did not bode well. Her Father had entrusted her with the fate of their evil organization. To carry on the legacy of the one whom she respected and loved so much, she had to work hard and be the ‘evil’ he would’ve wanted her to be.
The episode was still playing in the background, with the villains now back in their hideout. What an eerie place! Should she try to redecorate so that her room looked the part?
The woman who was the villains’ leader broke into an insane grin.
“We have to perpetrate even more evil deeds! And then, we shall harvest Deviling Stones from human souls!”
Deviling Stones were an item often mentioned in this series. Apparently, you could take over the world if you gathered enough of them. Unfortunately, in real life, there were no Deviling Stones. Mia couldn’t help but wish there were some easily distinguishable items that she could collect to complete her world conquest.
If only her great-great-great-great-grandpappy, Supreme Ruler of Evil Omni-Dark had succeeded in raising his army of fish warriors. With the world’s fish supply on her side, she would have a nearly unbeatable army of minions and could definitely take over the world with their help. Bemoaning the fact that there were no items or minions wasn’t going to solve anything.
“’Perpetrate evil deeds’, huh…”
Evil deeds. On the show, the typical examples of those would be villains hijacking a school bus and abducting the kindergarteners inside, alighting in a park and attacking innocent people, brainwashing girls and boys to do their bidding, or cornering someone and tormenting them with no real purpose other than to spread misery.
Mia, though, had no wish to do such things. Something deep inside her heart wouldn’t allow her to.
“Hm, maybe I should start from, uh, more mundane evil deeds. If I ease myself into it, in time I should be able to graduate to performing grander evil deeds. I don’t really want to, but if I avoid hardening my heart, I will only ever amount to a half-fledged Supreme Ruler of Evil unworthy of my family name,” she breathed a great sigh. But then, exclaimed, “I must not fall into negative thinking!” She hurriedly shook her head, and bolstered her resolve.
“All right! I shall begin by performing the smallest of evil deeds. I don’t have anything specific in mind, but I could just ask other people to weigh in. Yes, that sounds excellent!”
Having thus rallied her thoughts on the matter, Mia nodded to herself and skipped off to take a bath.
***
WASTING no time in pursuing her newest idea, Mia started questioning her classmates the following day.
“Evil deeds? Why are you asking about that?”
“Err, no reason. I was just thinking: is there anything that could be considered an evil deed that we come in contact with in our daily lives?”
Mia was trying hard to pretend that it was just some idle small talk to her. Her unsuspecting classmate hummed and tilted her head to the side, considering the question for a moment. She raised her index finger, indicating she figured it out.
“It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the boys that you’re regularly getting into fights with… Well the things they get up to come to mind. At least I think what they do would count as an evil deed.”
Mia remembered the school delinquents and had to agree with her classmate. Extortion, bullying, pushing weaker students around, aggressively hitting on girls who aren’t interested… Mia scrunched up her face in distaste. She couldn’t possibly bring herself to do any of those debased things. She was definitely a loftier kind of ‘evil’ than that. Besides, there was no way she could achieve the glorious ambition of world conquest by engaging in such petty acts of villainy.
“Umm, isn’t there anything else you can think of? Like an evil deed that anyone would be capable of doing?”
“Hmm, let me think… Hey, what exactly counts as a bad deed anyone can do?” her classmate called out to a boy who passed them in the classroom.
He widened his eyes, taken aback by the sudden question, and inclined his neck. “A bad thing anyone can do…? Smoking or drinking, that sorta thing? It’s illegal. Oh, and shoplifting!”
“Shoplifting?! S-Stealing will not do! Smoking and drinking, on the other hand… That would indeed constitute as a mundane evil deed.”
The boy looked at Mia, who folded her arms approvingly, and shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, if you think about it, in the end anything that disturbs other people is bad, isn’t it? Be it something that will get you into trouble with the police or something your parents might scold you for.”
“Indeed, it’s as you said. Yes, that was a very interesting point of view. My thanks!”
Mia bowed her head to her fellow students in gratitude. They raised their eyebrows in surprise at first, and then burst into laughter.
“You’re such a weirdo, Mia! What got you so interested in this topic?”
“Um. Ah, er, it’s just something I was thinking about lately… Plain curiosity, nothing more!”
“Well, considering your almost daily run-ins with the school bullies, no wonder you’re getting concerned about ‘evil deeds’ and the like.”
Uproarious laughter filled the classroom. Listening to that merry sound, Mia was secretly glad that she found a new way to tackle her problem, and happily pumped her fist.
***
ON her way home, all the hopes Mia had built up were mercilessly crushed. She hadn’t changed from her school uniform yet, which made it glaringly apparent that she was still a minor. So anywhere she tried going to buy some alcohol or cigarettes, be it a supermarket, a liquor store, or even a convenience store notorious for its lax age control, she was refused. As her last resort, she turned to vending machines, but even those required an ID card proving she was over 21.
At school, Mia had seen delinquents smoking cigarettes so many times she was completely convinced getting them was as easy as flying in the air, which made her own inability of getting a pack of cigarettes that much harder to swallow. How in the world did they buy them?
Mia had no choice but to drag her feet home in defeat. Well, not home, exactly, because after school she went to Subaru’s apartment instead of her own. Their arrangement was still in place. …For some reason, the number of people involved in it went up though.
Arriving at Subaru’s place, she held down the bell button, letting the chime ring. After a moment, the door was thrown open.
“Welcome back, Mia!”
“Th-Thank you,” Mia replied to Subaru’s greeting with unease plainly written on her face, and took off her shoes at the entrance.
No matter how many times she heard those words, conveying that her presence here was appreciated, something looked forward to even, she just couldn’t get used to them; each time she came, she felt strangely unsettled.
“I was just making dinner. It’ll be ready in another twenty minutes or so. Watch TV or something in the meantime, okay?”
“All right,” answered Mia, and Subaru promptly returned to the kitchen.
Mia padded to the living room and leaned over to prop her schoolbag against the side of the low dining table.
“Hey, good to see you again, Mia!”
“Blegh… Thank you…?”
There was someone already sitting at the table, namely, Crow Ranger Green—Ren. He was smoking a cigarette, another finished one laid smothered in the ashtray.
Lately, Ren started showing up at Mia and Subaru’s shared meals. He had probably heard from Subaru that he was having Mia over for dinner. But it didn’t stop at Ren just showing up, no not at all. Before Ren butted in, Mia went back to eating prepacked meals she bought at a supermarket or a convenience store on the days when Subaru was stuck on nightshift, but ever since Ren began joining them, he made food when Subaru couldn’t. That meant that Mia went to Subaru’s place for dinner every night. She would just have different cooks based on who was working.
What surprised Mia the most was that Ren could actually cook. When he prepared dinner for the first time, Mia stared at it with eyes wide as saucers, as if it were some kind of alien artifact, and shut her eyes tightly in anticipation when she took the first bite, but it turned out to be surprisingly tasty. Ren had then playfully told her, “Duh, who did you take meow for, huh?!” and rubbed her head so vigorously he almost gave Mia an afro.
By the way, unlike Subaru, Ren mostly made stir-fries, like fried rice, or noodle dishes, like udon or ramen. Also, while Subaru’s cooking was undoubtedly more refined, Mia found that she didn’t mind Ren’s erratic seasoning habits at all—not that she would tell him that, of course.
Without even realizing it, Mia was eating out of their hands.
After the initial greeting, Ren and Mia both settled comfortably atop cushions lying around the table and their eyes flickered to the TV screen. There, a news program was on, showing some special feature on fine dining. The presenter was recommending what to eat at the local restaurants and later went on to introduce the highlights of the morning market.
Mia was watching it halfheartedly, until her drifting gaze suddenly stopped at the cigarette Ren was smoking. Noticing her, he curiously tilted his head to the side. “What, you want a welcome home kiss?”
“Wha—I made no such requests! I was just looking at your cigarette!”
Ren made it a habit to try to initiate physical contact with Mia at every opportunity. Not used to such attentions, she reacted with suspicion to all his attempts.
Ren pinched the cigarette between his fingers and waggled it around a bit. “You mean this?”
Mia lightly nodded, and then tentatively asked, “Um, would you mind giving me one of these?”
“Aren’t you forgetting the tiny little fact that I’m a cop? Like hell I’d give a young girl a cigarette!”
“That’s true.” Mia flinched at his indignant tone of voice and hunched her shoulders.
She knew that Ren wouldn’t share his cigarettes with her. She just figured asking was worth a try.
Ren pressed the stub of his cigarette into the ashtray, completely putting it out, and turned to fully face Mia, eyeing her suspiciously.
“Why do you want a smoke all of a sudden?”
“Eh? A-Ah, err… C-Curiosity, that’s all. I was just wondering what smoking is like.” Mia waved her hands around frantically.
There was no way she would admit to him that she was trying to get into perpetrating evil deeds, like a proper villain should. Ren seemed to have caught on to her trying to cover something up, but thought better of pursuing the topic, returning his eyes to the TV set.
Mia rested her eyes on Ren’s profile, observing it minutely. The corners of his eyes were sharp and upturned, a line of white always visible between his lower lash line and his irises. Because of those eyes, his face looked rather evil, even under normal circumstances. Right now, he was leisurely watching TV with a neutral expression on his face, but, when he smiled, his face contorted into a smirk, and, unlike the one she had spent so much time practicing, his looked positively villainous.
And with a face like that, not only is he an officer of the law, but a Champion of Justice to boot! The world is full of mysteries indeed, Mia thought to herself.
Ren, feeling Mia’s gaze boring holes in him, once again turned to face her, warily looking at her. “What is it? Spit it out. Or else I’ll really kiss you.”
“No! Argh. With that face, he surely… Eh, but… Though maybe…”
“Huh? What’s that about my face? If you’ve got something to tell me, speak up!”
When scowling, he looked downright vicious. If he tried to mug someone wearing that look, anyone would willingly throw their wallet at him. Resolutely balling her hand into a fist under the table, Mia shot Ren a question. “Um, what do you think are some evil deeds anyone can do? If your answer is drinking and smoking, I don’t need it, because I’ve already heard about those.”
“…Hey, you aren’t possibly thinking something like, ‘oh, I’m the Supreme Ruler of Evil, so I should try my hand at evil deeds’, are you?”
Eep! Mia’s spine went rigid.
Hearing her innermost thoughts leaving Ren’s lips just like that sent Mia into a full-blown panic. “Er, ah, it, it is not that, it, er, it’s j-just curiosity, or, eh…”
“Yeah right, I think I’ve heard this somewhere before. Jeez. D’ya really think petty crimes like that will lead you to world domination? With your smarts, or lack thereof, you shouldn’t try to think too hard and just concentrate on playing stupid pranks on us, ya know.”
“Lack thereof?!”
Was it just her, or had she been ridiculed just now?! Ren stretched his lips in his trademark smirk at Mia’s indignation. She turned away from him in a huff, choosing to grumpily stare at the TV screen instead.
“…So,” Ren broke the tense silence between them, “why ask me something like that? Do I look like someone who can effortlessly crank out ideas for ‘evil deeds’ to you, or what?”
“So you do possess some modicum of self-awareness. It’s exactly as you say.”
“…And what makes you think I have evil thoughts?” he asked somewhat darkly.
Mia continued running her mouth unapologetically. “Well, you have that malicious look in your eyes, and your face is menacing. I expected with a countenance that villainous, evil deeds would be your forte.”
“Oh-ho.” Ren narrowed his eyes.
Realizing with a start that she was in trouble, Mia tried to get away from the table, but she was too late. Ren nimbly caught Mia’s hand and pulled her into his arms, squeezing her mercilessly against his chest.
“A-Agh—It hurts! Ow-ow-ow-ow!”
“Heh heh, can’t move, now can ya? Pointing out stuff I’m self-conscious about like that… You’re just itching to be punished, ain’cha? How about I seal that nasty little mouth of yours, hm?”
“A-Ah! Stop! You asked what made me think you were evil, so I was only answering your ques—mmph!” Mia’s frantic babbling was cut off by a deep, unforgiving kiss. “…!”
Mia tightly screwed her eyes shut. A shudder ran through her body, her blood rushed to her cheeks while her head grew dazed. The kiss felt violent in the beginning, but when she moved her mouth to meet his, he gently soothed the place where he nipped her lips with his tongue, and then broke it off slowly.
“Jeez, and now you show me your flustered, girly side.”
“…H-Huh?” As Mia was staring at Ren with unfocused, glazed-over eyes, he smirked down at her, triumphantly licking his lips. Humiliation and fury flashed across her face in quick succession. “Y-You shameless buffoon, how could you—”
“…I’m sorry to intrude upon you two lovebirds getting along so well, but dinner is ready,” rang out Subaru’s monotone voice from behind Mia, who was working herself into a frenzy.
When she whirled around to look behind her, there he stood, holding plates loaded with side dishes in both hands. Belatedly, Mia realized that he must’ve witnessed everything, and her flush climbed up to her ears.
Why? Ren had hugged and kissed her on numerous occasions now, it was nothing new. How come she felt this mortified now? Was it because it was past her official Supreme Ruler of Evil ‘office hours’? She didn’t really know, but she was apprehensive about her own unexpected change of heart.
With a carefully neutral expression on his face, Subaru put the side dishes on the table and then strode back to the kitchen, returning to serve rice. However, his façade cracked when he was setting the final small bowl on the table, containing Kyoto-style pickled eggplant and cucumber salad.
He whispered ruefully, “…I wonder, is this how a father feels when his daughter brings home her boyfriend for the first time?”
“A-A father?!” Mia lurched.
Apparently, Subaru’s feelings towards Mia evolved from seeing her as a little sister to seeing her as his daughter at some point. Ren cracked up at that, grabbing the chopsticks from the table.
Dinner consisted of the same steaming white rice, but also miso soup with mushrooms and okra, cold cuts salad made with plenty of vegetables, and garlicky octopus and potato stir-fry.
People sitting together at the table, enjoying the invariably delicious food while filling the air with trivial chitchat, was the very picture of a family mealtime. When Mia and her father shared meals, they had talked of nothing else but spells and taking over the world.
When done eating, they continued with magic lessons until it was time to sleep. Mia had never experienced this kind of dinner table before—carefree, relaxed, with people getting excited and talking over each other about something silly, but she found that part of her enjoyed this kind of gathering. Every time she caught herself thinking she was having fun, she lowered her eyes to stare at her plate and go on eating in silence, occupying her mouth with chewing food.
When it had only been her and Subaru, it was still bearable, because he wasn’t very talkative by nature. However, ever since Ren joined them, the dinner table had become much livelier. Subaru making quips about something Ren had said, Ren getting exasperated at Subaru’s attempts at humor, and when Mia would join their dialogue, they would team up against her, coming up with the most ridiculous rejoinders. Every time, they brought Mia to the verge of laughing out loud.
However, for some reason that only served to frustrate Mia; she couldn’t bear the thought of them noticing she was having fun, and each time it came close to that, she ducked her head, hiding her face from their eyes.
Lately, no, ever since becoming the Supreme Ruler of Evil, she had been feeling nothing but distraught. The food was good, and the conversation pleasant. So why was it that she could barely hold back her tears?
***
MIA usually ended up leaving Subaru’s place after dark. But since she lived in an apartment complex right next to the Crow Ranger’s, it wasn’t really a problem.
This time, Ren accompanied Mia on the walk back to her unit.
“Oh yeah, you also live close by, don’t you, Ren?”
“Yep. How did you know?”
“…I-I just do. For there’s nothing that I do not know, mwa-ha-ha!”
She couldn’t very well tell him she had been to his workplace and asked for his personal details, so she chose to dodge the question by engaging in some loud cackling.
Ren calmly took out a pack of cigarettes from his breast pocket, and put one stick in his mouth. Apparently, he was going to smoke on his way back; he was hardly an upstanding citizen, even though he worked for the police.
Stopping in front of Mia’s apartment, they faced each other. Mia, sensing that this was Ren seeing her off, decided to ask him something that had been weighing on her mind for a while now. “Say, is going around hugging and kissing girls some kind of hobby of yours? Do you do that to every female?”
“Whaddya think, that I’m some kind of a pervert, or what? If I did that to random girls, that’d make me a molester.”
Well, that was true, but then why was he doing all of those things to her? If she thought back, from the very first time they had met he had already kissed her, embraced her, and even nibbled on her ears. He usually refrained from doing that at least while at Subaru’s place, but there were times, like today, when even that didn’t hold him back.
Mia, after staring at her feet briefly, idly laced her fingers together and continued, “Sooo, why are you doing those things to me?”
“And what exactly are ‘those things’?”
“W-Well, like I told you, kisses and hugs…”
Mia felt as if she were asking something terribly embarrassing. Just as she was starting to freak out about what the heck she was actually saying here, Ren hummed, stroking his chin pensively.
“So you’re aware enough of my affections to worry about this stuff…”
“Hm? What did you just say?”
“Nah, never mind. …All right, I’ll tell ya. The reason I’m doing all of that to you is, hehe, to get a rise out of you!”
Huh?! Mia threw her head up with a start, her words failing her.
Ren’s eyes sparkled with mischief, the familiar wicked smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “You’re giving your all to beat us, right? You even got so far as to drive poor Misaki up the wall with your prank. So, I decided to repay you in kind! Also, you can’t use your magic on me with your mouth sealed, so that’s basically two birds with one stone.”
“S-Such knavery! Stealing the lips of an innocent maiden and embracing her with such vile motives!”
“And you only noticed that now? Silly girl! Bwa-ha-ha!” Ren chortled in clear imitation of Mia, reaching out with his hand to tousle Mia’s hair.
Mia whipped her head around, shaking his hand off, and looked up at him with burning eyes.
“Argh, Ren! I hereby solemnly swear that I will find your weakness, and when I do, I shall make your life a living hell!”
“Eh? But I’ve already told you the one thing I hate most. Remember, that day at the police station?”
“At the police station… Surely you don’t mean that k-kissing thing? That is such an obvious lie! Besides, all the others tried to trick me, too, what with that ‘orange juice’ and ‘cocoa’ nonsense, hah!”
Ren laughed with genuine amusement, watching Mia rant, and then raised his eyebrows lightly, with that infuriating smirk still in place. “Meh, dunno about the others, but I was telling the truth. ‘Cause, ya see, me kissing you is just a way to get under your skin. I like annoying people, but when someone’s trying to annoy me? Can’t stand that. It’s the same with you, right?”
That got Mia thinking. It was true that succeeding in pushing someone’s buttons and watching them squirm felt incredible, but having someone do the same to her didn’t feel good at all. Could that be what Ren was getting at?
“Y-You truly don’t like it?”
“Uh-huh. Hate it with a vengeance. It drives me absolutely crazy.”
“…And what about that smirk you get when you are talking about kissing?”
“That’s just my face. Like someone told me recently, I’ve got a villain’s face, after all.”
It seemed that what Mia had told him before dinner today had struck a nerve. She disregarded his original words, instead deciding that what he had said seemed plausible, and nodded thoughtfully.
“So, you thinking of kissing me yet?”
“Well, now that it seems believable that it would really upset you, I feel like I would like to give it a try!”
“Aagh! You’re the worst! I should’ve expected as much from the Supreme Ruler of Evil, though, how stupid of me! Of course you’d try to take advantage of my weakness as soon as it slips my tongue, woe is me! Well then, I’d better run away!” Ren sniggered, taking his cigarette out of his mouth, and making to dash away.
That did it for Mia—like a shark that smelled blood, she couldn’t let her prey escape, so she hurriedly shot out a hand to grab Ren’s sleeve. …Ren, as if he had expected that, leaned into her pull.
Mia didn’t seem to catch on to that, screwing her eyes shut and planting her mouth firmly on the Ren’s lips. She had no idea what to do, so she just relied on her memory and imitated Ren’s kisses. Ren, on his part, seemed to savor the feel of Mia’s lips on his, but Mia, not knowing when she should stop, cut the kiss short far too soon. She was panting now; that was probably due to her forgetting to breathe during the kiss.
“D-Did you hate it?”
Although Ren was the one who was supposed to be upset, it was Mia who was easily the more affected of the two. Ren returned his cigarette to his mouth, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
“Did I ever! Worst few seconds of my life! How could you do this to me? Next time, I’ll give you a kiss to get back at you, so be ready!”
“As if I could ever be ready for that! Ugh, I don’t understand what’s happening, but I feel like I have made a terrible mistake! Y-You really did hate it though, right, right?!”
“’Course I did! Heh heh. Well, see ya!”
Ren lit the cigarette dangling from his lips with his trusty Zippo, nonchalantly waved his hand to Mia, and off he went. Mia, with a vivid blush staining her cheeks, stood rooted to the spot, watching Ren’s retreating back with a conflicted look on her face.