The Detective Is Already Dead, Vol. 2

Mysteries really should be littered with corpses

“This is the work of Cerberus.”

Siesta had crouched down and was gazing at a man’s bloodied corpse.

We were inside a baroque church building—that was where the present-day Jack the Ripper had committed his murder. Ms. Fuubi hadn’t come with us, but the police had made an exception for us, let us across the tape, and allowed us to examine the scene of the murder. However—

“Cerberus?” I asked, puzzled. That didn’t seem to fit with the situation.

“Your voice sounds weird.”

“I’m not great with the smell of blood.”

“Why don’t you at least pick one? Either tilt your head or hold your nose,” Siesta said. “Look.” She held up one of the Seven Tools—a small hand mirror—which she wore at her waist.

I see. Yes, the guy in the reflection was striking a very bizarre pose.

Following Siesta’s advice, I switched to just holding my nose, then crouched down beside her.

In the back of the chapel, beneath a large cross, lay the body of a dead man who seemed to have been a member of the clergy.

“Don’t touch it.”

“I know that. I won’t leave fingerprints.”

“Spoken like a criminal.”

“Then this case will be closed real quick.” Even as I swapped jokes with her, I put my hands together.

After a few seconds of silent prayer, I opened my eyes. No matter how many times you see corpses, you never get used to them. Over the past seventeen years of random trouble, I’d seen my fair share of death. Still, the stink of blood in the air and the clouded eyes of the dead always really messed with my head.

“And? You’re saying this Cerberus is the real identity of the new Jack the Ripper?” I asked, squinting at the ghastly scene.

Once again, I saw the corpse of a priest with a gaping hole in the left side of his chest.

“Yes. That’s his code name. He’s the guard dog of Hades, and they say he devours human hearts.” Siesta brushed her hair behind her ear, her expression as cool as always.

“So you’re saying it’s them?”

“I can’t be absolutely sure yet, but…” Siesta put a fingertip to her jaw. “I’ll admit, it might have been different a century ago— When they’ve committed this many murders in a row, but the police still don’t have even a hint of a lead…”

“Well, yeah, I can guess.”

As I’d thought, the enemy was SPES— And if our suspect had a code name, he had to be a pseudohuman.

“What’s the enemy’s objective? Why is Cerberus going around stealing hearts?”

He couldn’t possibly just be imitating Jack the Ripper, could he?

“It’s hard to imagine that he’s been doing this independently. He must be acting on orders from the top.”

Orders from the top… If I recalled, the hijacking incident where Siesta and I had met three years ago had also been committed on orders from Bat’s organization.

“Well, we can make the enemy tell us all about their objective when we capture him.”

“Siesta, you look like you might torture him with a straight face.”

“Don’t say things that will make me look bad. Oh, or did you say that because you wanted me to do that to you?”

“Yeah right. Is this your way of conditioning me?”

Anyway, this wasn’t a conversation we should be having at a murder scene.

“You said we could make him spill it when we captured him, but…do you have any idea how we’re going to do that?”

He’d already killed several people. If even the police weren’t able to do anything, how was she planning to get him?

“…What’s that thing you’ve got?” Instead of answering my question, Siesta glanced at my hands.

“Oh, this? Ms. Fuubi gave it to me to hang on to when we went our separate ways back there.” I clicked the Zippo lighter I’d taken out of my pocket, fidgeting with it. “She said she was going to quit smoking, so I could have it.”

I didn’t know where the change of heart had come from, but it would be nice not to have to worry about her smoking in my house.

“I see. So after years apart, she entrusted her most precious possession to a young man.”

“What sort of emotion is that supposed to be?”

After all, as far as Ms. Fuubi’s concerned, I’m just a suspicious kid she keeps running into at murder scenes.

…And this wasn’t the time for a stupid conversation anyway.

“Look, about capturing Cerberus. Do you have a plan?”

If we just stood by and watched, the victims would keep piling up. We had to act as soon as we possibly could.

“As a matter of fact, I’ve been aware of the damage Cerberus is doing for a while now.” Siesta crouched down again, looking at the corpse with the missing heart.

“Well, there’s no way you’d miss an incident this big.”

Even if there was no job request involved, Siesta stuck to her mission and fought the “enemies of the world.” That was just who she was. Which meant there had to be a reason she hadn’t been able to catch Cerberus so far.

“The enemy seems to have a good nose. I’ve tried getting close several times, but he always slips away.”

“I see. That’s a dog for you, I guess.”

Just as Bat’s ears had been highly developed, most pseudohumans’ bodies were reinforced in one area or another. In Cerberus’s case, his nose was apparently his star feature.

“And yet Cerberus is still committing his crimes, even though we’re here in London, too.”

“…You think it’s a trap?”

“I was going to say it was a chance.” The ace detective was as confident as always. “True, he could be plotting something. However, if we let this opportunity get away, we may never find another decent chance to capture him.”

“Okay, but how specifically do you plan to go after him?”

“You’ve got it backward.” Siesta stood up. “We’re not going after Cerberus. Cerberus is coming after us.”

She didn’t appear to be joking, but what she was saying didn’t make much sense.

“Listen. From the enemy’s perspective, this is a chance to defeat us.”

“But Cerberus ran because he was scared of you, right? So—” Suddenly, I had a sneaking suspicion I wouldn’t like where this was going. “Whoa, Siesta, you can’t mean…”

“You’ve gotten pretty good at making deductions, too.” Siesta grinned. “I’m the only one Cerberus is afraid of. Meaning if you’re on your own, the enemy will waltz right in to attack you.”

“So you really are planning to make me be a decoy?!”

This detective wants to use me as bait for hell’s guard dog!

“You must have known this time would come at some point after you took this job.”

“I have no memory of bracing for death!”

Dammit, what happened to the part where she said she’d protect me?!

“Your time has come, Kimi. Now you will fight a mighty enemy, too.”

“Don’t set me up as some legendary hero.”

“No, I’m the legendary hero. At most, you’re the sword I use to slash apart my enemies…or maybe the owner of the smithy where it was forged… No, actually, the character who didn’t succeed to that guy’s position and became a farmer instead, maybe?”

“You are so unfair.”

What an awful way to treat her assistant, especially when he was about to confront a monstrous evil all by himself.

“Well, we should get going. I’ve got everything I need from the scene.” Without so much as glancing at me or the unhappy look on my face, Siesta spun to face the exit.

“…Where are we going next?”

“Hmm, maybe a preliminary meeting over afternoon tea?”

“You are the only person on the planet who could go straight from a murder scene to afternoon tea.”

This ace detective was slim, but she ate as heartily as ever. In London, she was constantly polishing off Sunday roasts at restaurants. We had to work like crazy just to cover the food expenses.

“…I’m constantly overworking my brain, so my three great drives are a bit stronger than most people’s.” Siesta turned back to me and started speaking much faster than normal.

It was rare to see her like this.

Apparently, she was equipped with the same sensibilities as the average girl.

“Is that why you’re always taking naps?” I asked.

“Says the one who always wakes up cranky.”

Lobbing nonsense at each other, we put that place behind us.

“So, if your three great drives are stronger than other people’s…”

“…I only meant hunger and sleep, actually.”

The ace detective doesn’t arrive late

“All right, just relax in your room, Kimi. Eat pizza or something and enjoy what’s left of your lif— I mean, leisure time.”

“You are coming to save me, right? You’re gonna come to the rescue before he kills me, right?”

I was in a hotel room Siesta had arranged for. We’d finished our afternoon tea meeting, then had dinner. Now that I’d parted with Siesta, I was lying on the bed by myself, talking to her on the phone. We were running through the final confirmation of our strategy: the one where I was going to be the bait for Cerberus.

“It’s been almost three years since I started traveling the world with you. It went by so quickly…”

“Don’t suddenly start waxing nostalgic about the past. We can do our reminiscing when we’re both a lot older.”

“At first, all we did was fight…and I suppose that hasn’t changed. Still, life was never boring with you around.”

“Stop acting like I’m gonna die!”

I may be her assistant, but I’m not planning to donate my life, all right?

“…And? Cerberus is actually going to come to this room, isn’t he?”

Unfortunately, I’d signed on for this maneuver already, and I couldn’t back out now. Meaning I should probably switch gears and start getting ready, to raise our chances of success.

“It’ll be fine. If this goes the way I think it will, Cerberus will chew you up around midnight tonight.”

“So I am gonna die, huh?”

Seriously, come save me. Please. Be punctual. Come early, even.

“Well, uh, guess I’ve got less than three hours left to live, then.”

When I stole a glance out the window, it was already completely dark outside.

“To be honest, I’m not sure of the time, and I don’t even know whether it’s going to happen today.”

…Yeah, I guess not. All we knew was that Cerberus would likely come after me, now that I’d split up with Siesta; it wasn’t like we had the date and time nailed down. I’d probably end up on standby in this hotel room until he showed up.

“Are you checked into the room next door or something, Siesta?”

“Are you stupid, Kimi?”

She didn’t have to say that. Unfair.

“If I’m nearby, the enemy will be too wary to make a move.”

…Oh yeah. Good point, actually.

“Hang on. You mean I’m really, genuinely alone? You’re sure I’m not actually going to die today?”

“It’s fine. I have technically taken steps, so there’s a minuscule chance you’ll be saved.”

“Just minuscule?”

“I’m kidding. Geez.”

The trouble is, with you, it never sounds like a joke. “Haaah, I wish you were in the room with me…”

Imagining the worst-case scenario, I sighed in spite of myself. At that—

“……Hmm?” The voice from the telephone took on a teasing quality. “So you wanted to spend the night with me.”

“—! That’s not what I meant. Just in terms of physical safety.”

“You wanted to share a bed with me.”

“I told you, that’s not it. Besides, you sleep rough; just how many times do you think you’ve hit me with a back-fist?”

“Then you wanted to take a bath together?”

“Your baths last forever. I can’t hang out with you that long.”

“You never say what you mean when it comes to these things.”

Unfortunately, that is what I mean.

“I kinda just don’t care anymore… Okay, I should go.”

The inane exchange had drained any motivation I had to care about this. I’d just gamble on those steps Siesta had said she’d taken. I started to hang up, but just then…

“Siesta, are you outside?”

From the receiver, I thought I’d heard a distant car horn.

“Huh? Well, yes, but…”

“Go back to the apartment before it gets too late. Cerberus isn’t the only dangerous type around.”

“……”

For some reason, there was silence on the line.

“Siesta?”

“…Ah, sorry. It was just novel to have you treating me like a girl, so—”

“You were startled?”

“I laughed.”

“Oh, you did, huh?”

Well, don’t. Jerk.

See what happens the moment I show her a little kindness?

“All right, I’m hanging up.”

“I can’t go near you, but I’ll at least leave the line open, so you don’t get lonely.”

“I’m not lonely or anything… But, I mean, if you really, really want to keep the line open, then I guess I could—”

“Yes, okay, okay. You don’t have to say the rest; I get it.”

A few hours passed. The more unwelcome a hunch or prediction is, the more likely it is to be right on target. What exactly was that prediction, you ask? That would be the time we’d predicted Cerberus would attack.

—I felt someone in the room with me.

According to my vague internal clock, it was a little past midnight.

I should have been alone. Just now, though, I was sure I’d sensed something moving nearby.

It had been several hours since that phone call. I’d been killing time by ordering room service and watching TV. Then I’d turned out the lights and gotten into bed, although I hadn’t changed out of my clothes. Pretending to be asleep, I’d waited, bracing myself for that extremely unlikely possibility…and apparently, I’d lucked out.

The enemy was probably alone.

I’d turned off all the lights, so it was very dark and very quiet. I couldn’t even hear the air conditioning. And then, just now, my ears had definitely caught the sound of a pistol’s safety being released. Somebody was making an attempt on my life. However—

“Sorry. I’m used to almost getting killed.”

To a certain extent, I could sense where my opponent was. Leaping up from the bed to catch them off guard, I trapped their gun arm between my legs in a cross lock.

“……—!”

It was my life, and I’d defend it myself.

Yes, I was counting on Siesta as a last resort, but I’d do what I could do on my own. Trouble had been finding me for as long as I could remember, so I’d acquired a certain level of proficiency in martial arts to deal with it. Lately, Siesta had trained me even more.

“You’re gonna end up with a broken bone or two, all right?” Sorry, but I show no mercy to pseudohumans.

“—……!”

The gun fell from the enemy’s hand, but I didn’t release my hold. Siesta wasn’t nearby, and I had to buy her enough time to get here.

“Don’t move. You’ll only hurt… Uh, wha—?”

Suddenly, I couldn’t feel the upper arm in my hold anymore, and then—

“Ghk, hah…!”

A sharp pain ran through my face. I bit my tongue, and the taste of iron immediately filled my mouth.

“…What, you dislocated your own shoulder?”

It was dark, so I couldn’t actually see them, but I was pretty sure I was right. They’d pulled their right arm out of its socket, then flipped their whole body to land a solid kick on my face. Not a move for your average human.

“Ha-ha. I guess it wouldn’t be, huh?”

No “average human” here. This was Cerberus, Hades’ heart-devouring guard dog—and the revenant Jack the Ripper.

“Well, Siesta, I bought you thirty seconds.”

Pinning my hopes on my partner, although I had no idea where she even was, I took a step, then swung my right leg. I was aiming for the gun the enemy had dropped. My leg cut through empty space; I’d come so close, too.

“Damn…”

He’d picked it up first. Then I heard a gunshot and felt the bullet whiz right past my cheek.

“So you don’t care how you kill me, huh, as long as the job gets done?”

Was he planning to slash through my chest and take my heart afterward?

I ducked down as low as I could, taking cover. I was at a disadvantage when it came to weapons, and without the ability to see, there was nothing else I could do. There had to be something I could do—

Oh. Guess I still had this.

“That’s a police officer for you. It’s like she saw this coming.”

I still had the Zippo in the right-hand pocket of my trousers. I pulled it out, lit it, and flung it onto the bed.

“…!”

The fire blazed up, spreading in the blink of an eye…until the sprinklers in the ceiling came on.

“Gotcha.”

“……!”

The enemy had recoiled, startled by the jets of water, and I shoved him down onto the bed.

“Game over.”

Sorry, Siesta. It looks like I won’t be needing you this time.

“All right, let’s see who you really are.”

I reached for the light switch beside the bed, flipped it…and saw a girl in camo, her dripping blond hair clinging to her cheek.

She’d been pinned by the prey she’d meant to hunt, and her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, or maybe fear. Her jewellike and very un-Japanese eyes were slightly damp and wavering.

“You’re…”

Then the girl told me who she was.

“It’s me—Charlotte Arisaka Anderson.”

I can forgive everything but that triumphant look

“Charlie?”

I knew this girl.

Charlotte Arisaka Anderson.

She was sixteen, and although she was an American citizen, she had Japanese blood as well. She was an agent who flew all over the world on orders from the organization she belonged to, and on Siesta’s request, she’d worked with us a few times—meaning she knew me, too.

“Are you okay?” I asked Charlie nervously.

“……Yes, mostly.”

Holding her injured right shoulder, Charlie slowly sat up on the bed. I straightened up, too, stepping back.

What was she doing here, though? Why had she sneaked into my room with a weapon…?

“Oh, I see what’s going on. Siesta asked you to do this, didn’t she?”

Was this the “step” Siesta had said she’d taken? I see… Yes, with combat skills like Charlie’s, we’d be able to fight the enemy on equal terms. Apparently, I’d jumped the gun, and now I was guilty of excessive self-defense.

“…She sure did. I swear… You just lunged at me out of nowhere.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? But you did come in here with a gun.”

“Well, Cerberus might have gotten in ahead of me.”

I see. Yeah, that’s true. I might have been a little too wary myself. A little more of that, and I would have had Siesta laughing at me for freaking out.

“Hmm. Something smells.” Charlie sniffed audibly.

“Does it? Did you fart?”

“Are you familiar with the word tact?”

“Well, my ace detective partner sure isn’t.” I went over to the window to air out the room for Charlie.

“Still, you’re better than I thought you were, Kimizuka. You completely crushed me,” she said behind me. “Even if you did use a trick, I never thought you’d manage to pin me…”

“Yeah, I guess it really is the first time I’ve ever beaten you one-on-one.”

That training Siesta puts me through all the time must be paying off, I thought. I set a hand on the curtain, and just as I opened the window—

“No, really, could I actually beat Charlie?”

It was a completely pathetic self-evaluation, a deduction with zero pride.

The thing is, though, I knew.

I knew how strong Charlotte Arisaka Anderson was. I also knew that Siesta was the first to acknowledge that strength. Charlotte would never lose to a guy like me.

“…Uh, more important.”

I had a simpler theory, too.

“That short-tempered sore loser would never admit she lost this easily.”

Especially not to me, her mortal enemy. Therefore—

“Who are you?”

I turned around, directing my question at Charlie…or more precisely, at the individual who was passing as Charlotte Arisaka Anderson.

“Ah—you’ve seen through my disguise, then?”

The voice shifted from Charlie’s into a deep male voice. In the next moment, her face and body warped and changed into a sturdy middle-aged man in a black robe.

“Well, no matter. Either way, I shall take your heart.”

“…! So you really are Cerberus?”

That ability to transform must be where he’d gotten his code name. The guard dog of Hades had three heads, a symbol of an ability to change into other people. If his nose was sharp, too, of course the police would have a hard time with him. No wonder they hadn’t managed to catch him yet.

“Bad news, though. Your Jack the Ripper imitation ends today.” I’d retrieved the Magnum during that fight, and I pointed it at his forehead.

“You do seem quite capable. I thought you were that ace detective’s lackey, but I shall have to revise that impression.”

As Cerberus spoke, he quietly closed his eyes and put his palms together in front of his chest. The gesture reminded me of a priest, although the impression was lessened somewhat by his pompous way of speaking and sturdy build. However, I was only able to think that for a moment, before—

“The moon is full tonight. It makes the blood sing.”

The next moment, Cerberus’s muscles began swelling up, and then thick fur spread over his body. He looked just like—

“Wait, you’re a werewolf…?”

Aren’t you confusing Cerberus with something else? But this wasn’t really a situation for snappy comebacks.

“If you get shot, don’t come crying to me.”

I squeezed the trigger, firing bullets—but…

“Save those words until after you’ve hit me.”

With truly beast-like agility, Cerberus evaded them.

“Ghk…!”

Once he’d dodged all my attacks, the huge creature lunged at me.

There were sharp claws right in front of my face, and I had no weapons.

Realizing I was a moment away from tragedy, I squeezed my eyes shut—

“Get down.”

Hearing the voice from the phone receiver, at the last moment, I managed to drop into a crouch.

“—Khah, hah!”

The next thing I heard was a gunshot and a low groan. When I opened my eyes, the beast-man was lying there, dark blood streaming from his shoulder.

“…So opening the window saved my butt?”

Remembering that I’d never ended that call, I put my phone to my ear and spoke to her.

“Hey, why did you wait this long? You’d better not tell me you were sleeping.”

At that…

“I did make it in time, so does it matter?”

By then, I was hearing the voice from the phone and right behind me.

Making the grumpiest face I could manage, I turned around—and there, standing on the sill of the large window and looking very pleased with herself, was a white-haired girl.

“Did you miss me?”

The crimson devil, the ice queen

“Well, now,” said Siesta.

She lunged at the fallen Cerberus, musket at the ready, then straddled him and jammed the muzzle against his skin.

“Hmm, déjà vu.”

The scene from the plane, three years ago, flashed through my mind’s eye. That time, too, Siesta had shoved her gun against Bat’s head to get the hijacking under control like an action movie heroine.

“Why you…! When did you make your approach?” Cerberus growled from where she had him pinned; his expression was agonized. “My nose told me nothing of your presence…so why?”

Yes, that had been Siesta’s plan: use me as a solitary decoy, while she lurked someplace beyond the range of Cerberus’s nose… But then she had stepped onto the battlefield unnoticed.

“Apparently, there’s still a little of that smell left.” Siesta sniffed.

“It smells?”

“Huh? Didn’t you notice before you opened the window, Kimi? Until a minute ago, this room was filled with a special type of gas.”

“Gas? Oh, come to think of it…”

When Cerberus had still been disguised as Charlie, he’d been bothered by the smell in the room. It couldn’t be… But when had it happened?

“Those.” Siesta pointed up at the ceiling—or to be more precise…

“The sprinklers, huh?”

That was probably the real “step” that Siesta had taken. She’d seen that I was carrying a Zippo lighter around, predicted the possibility that the sprinklers would come on during this fight, and rigged up gas to apply along with the water. The gas had numbed Cerberus’s superhuman nose, and he’d failed to notice Siesta.

“…As always, you’re way too prepared.”

It was as if Siesta had known everything that was going to happen before it happened.

“The upshot is, I win. Accept it.”

Siesta shoved the muzzle of her gun at Cerberus again. Thinking I’d contact Ms. Fuubi while I had the chance, I took out my smartphone—and that’s when it happened.

“I cannot allow myself to be apprehended yet.”

No sooner had Cerberus spoken than his body rapidly began to shrink.

“—! His transformation ability!”

In a moment, Cerberus was as small as a child, and he slipped out of Siesta’s hold.

“Assistant! Shut the window!”

We’re not letting him get away…!

Hastily turning to the window behind me, I tried to cut off Cerberus’s escape route, but…

“Too late.”

By then, he’d already resumed his beast-man form and was leaping lightly over my head.

“I have a mission. One more. I must obtain just one more fresh heart, and until then…”

He leaned out the window, and—

“You can leave yours, Cerberus.”

A spray of blood.

Then Cerberus’s head—only his head—fell out of the window and down. After a moment, his decapitated body slowly toppled over backward.

“…Huh?”

My mind couldn’t process what I was seeing. Why was Cerberus dead?

Who was it? Who’d done this?

“Assistant!” That was Siesta. She sounded more flustered and tense than I’d ever heard her. “Be careful.”

She was pointing her musket at the window, but its muzzle seemed to be wavering slightly.

“This is the first time we’ve met in person, isn’t it, ace detective,” said a bitterly cold voice.

The speaker, who was sitting on the windowsill, swung the saber she’d used to cut down Cerberus, shaking off the blood.

“You’re…”

A girl with short black hair and red eyes. She wore a wine-red military uniform, and multiple sabers hung from her waist. She seemed to be about Siesta’s age. Between her service cap and her high collar, I couldn’t make out her face all that well.

But the flawless ace detective was wary of her. Who in the world was—?

“My name—my code name—Is Hel,” she droned from her perch in the window, cleaning the blood off her sword with a cloth.

“Code name… So she’s another one?”

“She’s one of SPES’s highest-ranking officers,” murmured Siesta. She was standing next to me now, and her expression was grim. “In Norse mythology, Hel is the name of the queen who ruled Niflheim, the country of ice.”

“So there’s no system to their code names, huh?”

At the very least, it was clear that she was in a different league from Bat and Cerberus.

“Well, now.”

Hel descended from the windowsill and proceeded straight to Cerberus’s corpse, without so much as a glance at us. She crouched down—and plunged her sword into the left side of his chest.

“…Ughk.” The gruesome sight made me feel sick.

With a face that held no emotion, Hel stuck her arm into Cerberus’s chest…then pulled something out of the pooled blood.

“Now we have the final piece.” Hel’s gory right hand held what looked like a small lump of black ore. “Now then, I’ll take this back with me and commence the operation…”

“Do you think we’ll let you?” Siesta glared sharply at Hel. The aim of the long-barreled gun was perfectly steady now.

“Well, well.” Hel returned Siesta’s gaze. “But you cannot shoot.”