Another past that must be told
“What a sad thing to say…” Natsunagi gave me a pitying look. “How do you always spend your lunch breaks?”
“I’ve got an extra special place, so it’s fine.” Although thanks to a certain somebody, I’d ended up accidentally sleeping through lunch today.
“A place where you’re likely to eat lunch alone all the time, Kimizuka? …Like the bathroom?”
“Do you get that you’re being seriously insulting right now?”
I knew she inherited the detective’s last will, but she didn’t have to inherit the part where she constantly makes fun of me, too. With a sigh, I got up. “In that case, come on, I’ll show it to you right now.”
Natsunagi’s mouth dropped open.
“Huh? You’re taking me to the bathroom? I, um, I don’t think that’s really…”
“I never said that, and I definitely don’t need you getting bashful about it.”
A thousand nights, alone together
“This way.”
Walking ahead of Natsunagi, I stepped over the DO NOT ENTER barrier and climbed a short flight of stairs. There was a padlocked metal door at the top.
“Kimizuka, do you have the key?”
“No. But there’s no lock I can’t open.”
“Ooh, aren’t you cool.”
“I’ve been kidnapped and locked up so much that I picked up the skill naturally.”
“I stand corrected. You aren’t cool at all.”
“There, got it.”
After a few seconds of twisting a special wire around, the lock clicked and came right off. I pushed the door open and stepped through—into the wind.
“Wow…” Natsunagi sounded impressed as she followed me out.
This was my extra special place: the roof. The sun had set, and stars twinkled in the dark, cloudless sky.
“What do you think? Even by yourself, this isn’t bad. Lunch tastes extra good when you eat it on the roof.” I sat down with my back against the tall fence.
“You don’t need to be alone, though, do you?” Natsunagi sat down beside me. She sounded a little exasperated. “Why don’t you make some friends?”
“It’s not that I don’t make friends. More that I can’t.”
“Congratulations, you found the worst sentence to say aloud.”
That was a sucky award to have on my record.
“Well, you could count me, you know. On your ‘friends’ counter.” Natsunagi stretched her legs straight out, fiddling with the hem of her short skirt. “I mean, we don’t have to be friends, specifically. There are, you know, all sorts of other relationships…”
“Like ‘underling’?”
“Let me ask again, just because. Exactly what were you to Siesta, Kimizuka?”
The conversation wasn’t going in the direction I wanted it to.
Meanwhile, Natsunagi’s shoulders slumped. “Well, I mean…it’s pretty nice to have a friend you can talk to about anything. Plus, I’m cute.” She poked her index fingers into her own cheeks, mugging self-consciously.
“I’ve never had a friend, so I wouldn’t know.”
“You’re messed up, you know that?” Natsunagi pouted, looking kind of appalled. “It’s amazing you managed to get along with Siesta when you’re like this.”
“…I don’t remember getting along all that well.” I thought back over those hectic years. “We fought once every three days.”
“And then you’d apologize first?”
“Most of the time, yeah. But sometimes I hung in there and ignored her for a week or so.”
“And then?”
“She started to get incredibly fidgety and restless.”
“Geez, how cute is Siesta!”
“Then, when I finally spoke to her, for a second she’d get all relieved, and then…”
“She’d go back to looking cranky and say, ‘Are you stupid, Kimi?’ ”
“Hey, got it in one. Way to go; you could get a Level 1 certification in Siesta Studies.”
We cracked up a little.
“Still, we fought so much that one time we made up this rule.”
“So you wouldn’t fight?”
“Yeah. The day after we fought, we had to go to an amusement park together.”
“Wh-what’s the point…?”
“You know: Going to an amusement park together when your relationship’s awkward is pretty hellish.”
“Ohhh, and since you didn’t want that, you figured you’d learn to get by without fighting… And? Did it work?”
“Yeah. Thanks to that, we got into the habit of riding the teacups once every three days.”
“Thanks for that nonsensical joke. Extremely funny.” Natsunagi raised both hands in an exaggerated shrug of boredom, palms up. These American-style jokes are fun. “And actually…” This time, she seemed to be testing me somehow. “You always seem to enjoy talking about Siesta, Kimizuka.”
That remark sounded rather pointed.
“…Nah. I don’t want to talk about her. At this point, I have absolutely no interest in her.”
“Uh, seriously, it’s way too late for anyone to believe that now.” Natsunagi waved a hand dismissively, straight-faced. She’s got to be kidding. That can’t be right.
“Still.”
Natsunagi looked away.
“As long as you had Siesta, you didn’t need anything else, did you?”
She finally brought up the subject we’d both been unconsciously avoiding. Her profile looked a little lonely.
“Don’t worry about it.” I spoke carelessly, hoping to keep Natsunagi from saying what she was about to say next. “Before I met her, I was alone anyway.”
That meant it wasn’t Natsunagi’s fault. Nobody thought she’d taken everything. More importantly, I wouldn’t let anybody say a thing like that.
“You’re nice, Kimizuka.” Natsunagi’s voice sounded muffled. Before I knew it, she’d buried her face in her knees. “It’s no good, though. Even when I’m talking to my friends, or you’re trying to encourage me, I just can’t get that sight out of my head. Of me, taking Siesta’s heart—”
She broke off.
The roof was deserted except for us. The only sound was the whisper of the night wind.
Natsunagi’s hands had taken Siesta’s life.
That was an incontrovertible fact. Even if it had been her other personality that had done it… Even if it had been what Siesta herself had wanted, that wouldn’t ease her feelings of guilt. That was what she thought, at least.
“Besides, it wasn’t just Siesta. Those other people in London were completely innocent, and I—”
That was another heavy curse that would bind her guilt to her permanently. No matter who tried to encourage her or what they said, she would never forgive herself.
Under the circumstances, there was only one thing I could do.
“Grumpy gills.”
I ran my index finger down Natsunagi’s sailor-suited back.
“Yeek!” Natsunagi gave a cute little shriek that I had never heard from her before, then hastily clapped a hand over her mouth. “Wha, what, wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha!” Her face went so red I could tell even in the darkness. She glared at me, her lips trembling.
“Haaah. Listen, Natsunagi.”
“I’m not done being mad yet!”
“Huh? Wasn’t this one of your fetishes?”
“D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-double-kill!”
“There we go. That sounds like you.”
“Don’t use people’s catchphrases to gauge how they’re feeling!” Natsunagi pummeled my side. She really was feeling better.
“A long time ago…” As I spoke, I was thinking about those memories from last year. “Ages back, when I lost all hope and just curled up in a corner…Siesta encouraged me.”
“You mean…” Natsunagi stopped hitting me.
Yeah, you know about it too. It was back when Chameleon had taken Alicia—in other words, Natsunagi—to SPES’s hideout. I’d completely given up, but Siesta had thumped me on the back and shown me what I needed to do again.
“So I’ll thump you on the back or hold your hand whenever you need it, too.”
“…Except what you did was run a finger down my back.”
…Well, it’s basically the same thing. Pretty much.
“For now, you can be discouraged as long as you want.” I moved away from the fence, then lay down on my back, right there on the roof. All I could see was the starry sky. “You can order a bunch of takeout and stress eat, or watch sad movies and cry all your tears out at once. You can curse how unfair the world always is and scream a string of obscenities, or if you’re the type who blows off stress with karaoke, I’ll keep you company till the sun comes up. If none of that is enough to make you stop feeling guilty, then at least let me take half of it. It’s not like you’re the only one to blame here. I couldn’t save Siesta either. So at least…let me carry some of that pain for you.”
“Kimizuka…”
Natsunagi looked down at me, almost dazed.
…Hm. Had I made myself look too cool? In that case…
“Well, you know. If I say this, it feels like I’m going to kinda screw myself here, but…” I hesitated, then finally made up my mind and told her. “I’m used to being abused by girls.”
That meant carrying Natsunagi’s pain for her was nothing.
“…Pfft!”
She burst out laughing.
“Ha-ha! Aaah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
“—It wasn’t that funny!”
“Seriously, what?! Why did you start confessing your fetishes all of a sudden?”
“…! Look, I was trying! To cheer you up! All right?!”
Rgh, why did it turn out like this? Not fair…
“So you cheered me up by confessing that you’re a masochist… Wow, that’s not good. You’re in even worse shape than I thought, Kimizuka.”
“Wha…! Quit! No more laughing! And you’re no different!”
“Noooo, I don’t think that word means quite the same thing for you as it does for me.”
“—! Haaah, I shouldn’t have said it… No, okay, that was a lie. I was just going for a laugh, to cheer you up; that’s not actually a thing for me…” I sat up, stumbling through a denial, but then—
“I swear, that’s so stupid.”
With a thump, Natsunagi buried her face in my chest.
“Really, really stupid.”
She laughed as she said it…and the next thing I knew, she was crying.
She bit her lip, careful not to let any sobs escape, but my shirt was damp with tears.
“Which of us is?”
I knew even as I said it, though.
Whether she was mad, or happy, or laughing, or crying, she always did it with all her might. That was Nagisa Natsunagi’s true essence. Her passion.
“You toughed it out really well.” Gazing at the distant stars, I stroked her head.
Natsunagi had the red ribbon Siesta had left to her in her hair.
“…—, ……—!”
On the roof that night, a torrent of passionate rain fell.
Even so, the stars were infuriatingly pretty.
I swear to God, I didn’t…
After that, we went back inside and walked through the shadowy building, lighting our way with our smartphones.
The school was totally dark; at this hour, the trek was like some sort of test of courage.
“All right. Now that you’ve stopped crying, Kimizuka, we’ll have to think about what to do next.” Natsunagi, who was walking next to me, smacked her own cheeks sharply.
“You are such a liar. My shirt is all soggy with your tears and your snot.” On the roof, Natsunagi had cried on my chest for fifteen minutes or so. My school uniform had been nobly sacrificed in the service of helping her feel better.
“Ngh… You said you’d take half of it!”
“Now that I’ve calmed down, that’s way too embarrassing, so please quit.”
“—May I have half of your life?”
“I swear on all that’s good and holy that I didn’t say that!” Also, her impression sounds nothing like me. Geez. The minute she feels better, she starts in with this.
“You gave me a ring, too, though.”
“…That happened a year ago. Doesn’t count.”
That said, I’d held hands with Natsunagi like this when she was Alicia, too…
“…Wh-why exactly did you just take my hand like it was natural?”
Now who’s on the defensive? Natsunagi sounded a little flustered. Ordinarily she’s a total sadist with me, but even she’s weak to surprise attacks.
“Just so you know, Natsunagi. Nobody in this world is more scared of ghosts than I am.”
“Um, I don’t think that’s the sort of thing you can brag about.”
“Besides, remember what I said on the roof? That I’d hold your hand whenever?”
“That’s the most pathetic use of foreshadowing I’ve ever seen. And I’m getting déjà vu about this, too…,” Natsunagi added quietly. Come to think of it, back when I’d only just met Siesta, we’d had a similar conversation in that haunted house at the cultural festival.
“Actually, Kimizuka, your palms are really sweaty.”
“? I’m the type who stops sweating entirely when I’m scared.”
“…”
“So, Natsunagi, why are your palms sweaty?”
“…I hate you, Kimizuka.”
High school girls are hilariously cute when they dig their own graves.
“Listen… About the finding the mistake business SIESTA mentioned.”
Natsunagi seemed to have gotten her emotions figured out a little now; she brought up that topic herself. If she was going to take over as ace detective, she’d have to find the error in those memories we’d been shown.
“Do you have any ideas, Kimizuka?”
“No, nothing. Except…”
“Except what?”
I decided to tell Natsunagi about the one thing that had been tugging at me. “She went out of her way, over a full year, to tell us what really happened back then. Why would she put a mistake in that?”
“…You mean this wasn’t something Siesta did intentionally?”
Exactly. In life, Siesta had believed that version of the past was correct, and she had presented it to us as the truth. If there was an error in there anyway, that meant—
“Before she died, Siesta messed up.”
That was the only thing I could think of. There had been another secret behind that incident last year. SIESTA was trying to get us to find it.
“But would she really have made a mistake like that? Siesta, of all people…” Natsunagi frowned skeptically.
I could understand why she’d be dubious. I’d spent three years with the ace detective, and I’d never seen her make any serious mistakes. Siesta was always right about literally everything. What could she have gotten wrong?
“So there are things even you don’t know about Siesta, Kimizuka.” Natsunagi tilted her head, as if it struck her as odd. “I just assumed you knew everything, right down to her bust-waist-hip measurements.”
“Oh, I do know those. Of course.” We’d lived together for three years. It would have been weirder if I didn’t.
“…No, there’s just no way. Opportunities to find those out don’t come along often.”
“Really? But if you touch somebody, you get a general idea of……… Forget I said that.”
Natsunagi had cautiously shaken my hand off, so I hastily corrected myself. Just to be clear, I didn’t mean “touch” so much as…you know, “connect with” by accident. It was unavoidable. Right, that softness was unavoidable.
Setting that aside.
“If there was some sort of mistake in those memories, wouldn’t it be faster to talk to people who were involved?” I suggested.
“Maybe so. From what SIESTA was saying, we can limit ourselves to the incident last year, right?”
“Yeah. The stuff I’d like to consign to oblivion at that cultural festival doesn’t count.”
Or rather, I don’t want to dredge it up. Which is why we’re going to go grill some relevant parties in that whole chain of incidents in London and the SPES hideout.
“So, the people at the center of that are you, Siesta…and me. Right?”
“Yeah. On the flip side, while it would be great if there was someone besides us that we could talk to, I dunno…”
The first person who came to mind was Charlie. She’d been with us when we invaded SPES’s hideout. She hadn’t mentioned anything when the topic of finding the mistake first came up, though, which probably meant it hadn’t rung any bells for her.
“Um, then, what about…the enemy leader?”
“Seed, huh? He does seem like he’d know all our cards as well as his, but we don’t even know where he is right now.”
Still, she had a point. Our allies weren’t the only ones who could help us out here.
“But as far as other enemies go…”
Cerberus and Chameleon had both been involved in that incident, but they were already dead. There was one more left, though. The most important person.
“Hel.”
When I said the name, Natsunagi’s eyes widened slightly. “But didn’t Siesta seal her inside me?”
“Yeah. Sealed. It’s not like she’s gone.”
“So we’re going to summon her? But Siesta shut her away, so…”
“One year,” I reminded her. “Siesta—the Siesta—spent a year persuading her. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Besides, if this was a really bad move, Siesta would stop Natsunagi, even if it meant kicking up a fuss inside her. If she wasn’t doing that, then it couldn’t be a terrible idea. The problem was—
“How are we going to summon Hel?”
Last time Siesta surfaced in Natsunagi’s body, she’d done it because I was in deep trouble, but…
“If we go back up to the roof and I push you off, just maybe, in the nick of time…”
“There is no nick of time. I’ll be one hundred percent dead.”
Don’t put your fingertip to your chin and look all serious, as if you’re thinking Would it work…? Your assistant’s life deserves more care, doesn’t it?
“Besides, even if I was in danger, Hel wouldn’t come save me.”
Then what should we do?
Natsunagi and I kept on thinking and coming up empty, and then…
“I overheard.”
“…!”
Out of nowhere, someone interrupted and stepped in front of us, illuminating her face with a flashlight. “If you’d like to summon Hel, leave it to me.”
There in the darkness, the pale-faced SIESTA was standing there like a ghost.
“Nagisa, would you help me? Kimihiko’s in a crisis.”
“I have never seen anyone’s legs give out that dramatically before, ever.”
The great evil returns
Fifteen minutes later, the three of us were in an apartment.
Specifically my apartment. I was currently living on the money I’d stashed away while working as Siesta’s assistant.
“A guy’s apartment…” Natsunagi was looking around the room. For some reason, she seemed fidgety. “Now that he has brought me into his home, oughtn’t I make him take responsibility?”
“Natsunagi, I can hear your weirdly stilted-sounding thoughts from here.” Although it did look like she’d cheered up a bit, so maybe I should call this a win. “And? Why are we at my house?” I asked SIESTA, who was walking all over my place as if there was nothing wrong with that.
“Because if we are going to make a lot of noise, this was the closest location where we could get away with it.”
“My landlord hasn’t said a word about noise being okay.”
The way she just keeps going without listening to people is apparently something she inherited from the original Siesta… Still, right now, more importantly…
“Is the detective supposed to get help from the client?”
We were taking her up on her offer to summon Hel, but SIESTA was the one who’d made this request in the first place. Was it okay for us to just take her help like that?
“You really are stupid, aren’t you, Kimihiko.” SIESTA glanced at me. “I’m sure Mistress Siesta would have said she’d do anything, provided it was to protect the client’s interests.”
…I see. She wouldn’t hesitate to borrow the client’s help if it meant fulfilling their wish, huh?
“Well? Can you actually summon Hel?”
“Yes, of course,” SIESTA said casually. “However, there are a few things I’ll need. Let’s see… First, is there a mirror in this apartment?”
“A mirror? I’ve got a full-length mirror, but…”
Although I didn’t know what she was planning to use it for, I hauled out the one I kept in my bedroom closet.
“That’s a very big full-length mirror.”
“Yeah, I bought it so I’d be able to see the results of my daily strength training.”
“Hm. You seem to have shut it in the closet, though.”
“Anyway, what are you going to use this for?”
“You redirected the conversation without giving me the slightest opportunity to comment.”
I had no idea what she was talking about. I was just thinking of picking my strength training routine back up, starting today. Seriously, cross my heart.
“We’re going to summon Hel into this mirror.”
What SIESTA said was completely crazy.
“Why so dubious?”
“Well, if you’re going to bring up occult stuff out of nowhere…”
“I think the scale is more modest than giant robots and aliens.”
“Yeah, but I’m more likely to believe in sci-fi than fantasy.” Does the occult count as fantasy?
“Conversely, then, does that mean you believe what you see?” Siesta detached an object from her waist and held it out to us.
“A hand mirror?” Natsunagi looked at it, tilting her head.
It did look like an ordinary round hand mirror, but it was probably… “One of Siesta’s Seven Tools, hm?”
She’d had seven secret tools that she’d used to solve cases, way back when. There was the musket she always carried on her back and the shoes that let her move as though gravity didn’t exist. Had SIESTA inherited those, too?
“This hand mirror can capture whatever is reflected in it, like a camera. I’ll retrieve that recording now,” she said, and various scenes surfaced and vanished in the mirror, one after another. SIESTA had said “camera,” but it seemed to be more like a video camera. It held footage of Siesta and me during our travels. The memories we’d been shown in the kidnapper’s lair must have been edited from some of this.
The images in the mirror zipped through in fast-forward, finally stopping on one particular scene.
“That’s…London…”
The mirror showed Hel. Her red eyes were wide with shock. When we’d first fought her in London, Siesta had used this mirror to take advantage of the brainwashing effect in Hel’s eyes. That was how we’d won.
“This is me too, isn’t it?” Natsunagi murmured softly, watching the mirror.
This was Hel, Natsunagi’s other form. I’d met her last year, naturally. Natsunagi wore her hair differently now, and everything else—the military cap and uniform, the way she spoke, her general vibe—had changed. As I looked from one to the other, the only thing that seemed the same was the color of their eyes.
“I’ll have to admit it, though.” Natsunagi gazed at the mirror, confronting the reality of her other self. “All right, SIESTA. How can I meet this other me?”
“No, that’s really not gonna—” I broke in. You can’t let a tiger out of a painting, and you can’t show a doppelganger in a mirror. However, with no hesitation, SIESTA said…
“An infinity mirror.”
She went on. “Haven’t you ever heard the urban legends about those?”
“Well, I hear a lot about how they’re unlucky,” I replied.
Natsunagi gave a little nod of agreement.
“There are rumors about them. They say you can use them to summon devils. That they can show you the past and the future.”
“…!”
Natsunagi and I exchanged wide-eyed looks. Both those rumors reminded us of someone.
…However, that didn’t change the fact that it seemed far too implausible.
“Nagisa, stand in front of the mirror, please.”
SIESTA’s expression didn’t even flicker. She led Nagisa to a spot a few meters in front of the mirror. Then she gave her the hand mirror, creating an infinity mirror as both reflected Natsunagi’s face.
“Let me finish getting everything ready.” SIESTA took out a lit lantern and turned off the lights. It was late at night. The only light in the room was the orange flame, and it flickered eerily. Was this a necessary part of the ceremony too?
“Now let’s move back a little. Nagisa, you stay in front of the mirror. Gaze steadily at yourself.”
Leaving Natsunagi standing by the mirror, the two of us backed up a bit.
Then we waited for several minutes.
“Nothing’s happening.”
The big mirror showed Natsunagi’s reflection, but that was all. There wasn’t anything strange about it. Hel certainly didn’t appear in the glass, and she wasn’t going to. I was tired of waiting.
“Hey, SIESTA, what’s the point of…” I’d just started to ask when SIESTA cut me off.
“It appears we need one more push.”
She walked over to Natsunagi and took the red ribbon out of her hair.
“…!”
Instantly, the red eyes in the mirror widened dramatically.
Now that the restraint of Siesta’s ribbon was gone, the figure reminded me of someone else. In the darkness, illuminated by the orange flame, Natsunagi’s fingertips reached toward the mirror. “Another…me…?” she murmured. She sounded delirious.
Her right palm touched the glass. She squeezed her red eyes shut for a few seconds, then opened them again.
“Natsunagi?” I called, but she didn’t turn around.
Instead—the Natsunagi in the mirror spoke to the one in front of us.
“It’s been a long time, Master.”
An unknown tale of that day
“Is that Hel?”
The girl in the mirror had red eyes. Naturally, she still looked like Nagisa Natsunagi.
However, the reflection had greeted the one in front of the mirror as “Master.”
That was what Hel had called Alicia—Natsunagi—last year. Meaning this one, the one talking, was…
“Is that the other me?” Natsunagi retreated a few steps, but she spoke to the mirror.
“That’s right. I’m another you. My code name is Hel,” the reflection told her. “Nothing but familiar faces here, I see.” From beyond the glass, her gaze shifted to SIESTA and me, even though we were hanging back.
“There, you see? It’s just like I told you. I said you’d be my partner someday, Kimi.”
She’d told me as much when she’d abducted me a year ago. Hel had claimed that her sacred text recorded the future, and that it said she and I would be partners.
Only—
“Sorry, but I’m your master’s partner, not yours.” I had no intention of doing whatever that so-called sacred text says. I’d told her as much plenty of times last year.
“You’re as cold as ever.” The figure in the mirror gave a faint smile.
Was this really the Hel I knew…? I stole a glance at SIESTA, but she was gazing straight ahead, expressionless.
“Well? You’ve gone to the trouble of summoning me after a year. What do you want?” The girl in the mirror narrowed her eyes. “Don’t tell me… Are you planning to make me suffer more?” she asked Natsunagi sarcastically.
Hel was a second personality Natsunagi had created to escape the pain of SPES’s experiments. She’d told us so a year ago, during that last fight. That was what had made her such a twisted, vicious person.
“No.” Impulsively, I broke into their conversation. “There’s something we want to ask you about what happened last year. About Siesta.”
Hel had been a central figure in that string of Jack the Devil incidents, which meant she might have noticed something about Siesta’s mistake. Or so I hoped, but…
“No idea.” Hel shook her head in flat denial. “Anyway, thanks to that ace detective, it’s impossible for me to get outside. She makes me utterly sick. Don’t say that name where I can hear it ever again.”
Hel glared at the left side of Natsunagi’s chest with disgust.
“…In that case.” Natsunagi gazed back at her reflection. “I’d like you to tell me about yourself instead.”
Was this an attack from a different angle? First she’d encourage Hel to talk with her, then steer the conversation to that incident…or maybe to Siesta.
“You want to know about me? Ha-ha! A bit late for that.” Hel’s lips curled in a sneer, beyond the glass. “I don’t have to tell you anything. And even if I did, I already said plenty during that fight a year ago. And look where that got me—sealed inside you… Or what? You want to laugh at me while I’m down?”
“No!” Natsunagi shouted at the mirror. “That’s not what I’m talking about! I can’t really learn anything about you from your mission or why you fight.”
“…Then what about me do you want to know, Master?” Hel’s eyebrows drew together; she looked a little bewildered.
“Um, well… Y-your hobbies, maybe?”
What is this, a marriage interview?
There, see? Hel looks completely appalled.
“—I really mean it, though.” Natsunagi didn’t back down. She gazed at the mirror, and her expression was serious again. “I want to know your favorite type of tea, for example, and whether you listen to pop music, and if you’re the sort that takes long baths. That’s the you I want to know. So…” She took a step toward to the mirror. “Tell me about yourself,” she said. To her other self.
Oh, right. That’s the kind of person Natsunagi is.
It was her passion talking. She’d never had a strategy. She genuinely wanted to have an actual conversation with her other personality. Nothing more.
“…Stupid.” However, Hel promptly rejected Natsunagi’s enthusiasm. “Besides, you should be the one who knows me best anyway.”
“What do you mean?” Natsunagi tilted her head.
“You’re the one who created me. Instead of asking me, it would be faster to just remember it.”
Remember— Of course, Natsunagi might have seen those recorded memories from last year, but that didn’t mean she’d reclaimed all eighteen years of her own memories. Up until now, she’d ceded lots of her memories and emotions to Hel, her other personality.
“But there’s nothing Natsunagi can do about that now—”
“In that case…” Hel interrupted me. “If you’re going to insist, I’ll help you out a little. Let’s retake my memories, and yours, together.”
Then Hel’s red eyes glowed.
“All right. Go on and tell it in my place. Tell your own story.”
Another past that must be told
Every morning when I woke up, I thought This bed is way too hard.
“My poor lower back…” I stretched, joints cracking and popping.
It couldn’t be right to treat a growing girl like this. I couldn’t actually complain, though. I had to be grateful that they were taking care of me at all.
“I’d better take my temperature.”
That was the second thing I did every morning. As I slipped the thermometer into my pajama top, my eyes fell on the IV needle in my right hand. I was used to it, but seeing a needle sticking into me wasn’t pleasant.
“So, 37.2 degrees Celsius.”
My temperature was about what it always was, basically normal. I wrote it down, then climbed back into the hard bed to wait for breakfast. I’d lived like this for twelve whole years, ever since I was born.
I had a congenital heart disease, and I lived quietly in a hospital room. I couldn’t go out and play with friends, and the only people who came to visit me were doctors on their rounds.
That was because I didn’t have parents. From what I heard, they’d abandoned me soon after I was born. Yes, I was a tragic heroine, saddled with a backstory that even tearjerker dramas would turn down these days. All alone in the world, with an incurable illness. Right now, I was in a sickroom in a facility that took in kids who’d been discarded by their parents.
“Haaah, this sucks, huh?” I tried to comfort myself. Why was I the only one who had to go through stuff like this? “Arrrrgh… Maybe a prince will come and take me away.”
Would he get me out of this hard bed and whisk me off to some distant country? …And as fantasies went, was that one too cringey?
“Since I’m not a prince, should I come back some other time, Nagisa?”
Without warning, somebody called my name. When I looked in that direction, I saw a shape in the window… And this room was on the third floor. I smiled wryly. Geez. I can’t believe she does this every time.
“Why are you ignoring me, hm?”
The figure slipped a strange tool in through the window, pried open the lock, and climbed into the room. Apparently I wasn’t going to be able to pretend I hadn’t noticed her.
“What do you want, Siesta?”
I shot the intruder a pointed glare.
“Here your friend’s gone out of her way to visit you, and you’re as cold as ever.”
Siesta brought a round stool over from the corner and sat down by the bed, as if she did this all the time. I said the only people who came to visit me were doctors, but I’d forgotten the troublemaking friends I’d made lately.
One of them was Siesta. She had pale silver hair and blue eyes. I was one hundred percent Japanese, and I couldn’t have been more jealous of her looks.
“Huh? Your face is kind of grubby.”
There was a smudge of black soot on Siesta’s cheek. Normally, her skin was so fair it gave her hair a run for its money.
“Oh, I was making a bomb and something went wrong, so I got dirty.”
“You say that like you were making mud balls.” C’mon, it’s still early in the morning. What is this kid doing? “You shouldn’t make bombs anymore.” I scolded Siesta with a sentence I was sure I’d never get to say again as long as I lived.
“But I might want to blow something up one day. Like a corporation.”
“Well, you shouldn’t do that either. No matter what your reasons are.” The last thing I wanted was a friend who got arrested for setting off a bomb at her office because she hated her job.
“Well, she’s the one who first suggested building bombs.”
“Oh…”
I knew where this was going, but I didn’t have to like it.
“Use my name already!”
Another girl, this one with long pink hair, poked her head through the window after Siesta. She was as cute as a doll…but as you can tell, my second bad friend wasn’t at all ladylike.
“…Haaah. So you’re here too, huh?”
As I looked at the pair, my shoulders slumped. Frankly, when these two were in the same place, it got as noisy as a house party of Americans who’d gotten together to watch football.
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?! You’re mean, Nana!” She clambered down into the room and pummeled me lightly with her fists. Guess that really rubbed her the wrong way
“The three of us are BFFs!”
“…We were, weren’t we?”
“We are! Present tense! I write down what we did in my diary every day!”
“Yes, yes, all right, Ali.”
These two were my recently acquired “bad friends,” and they were both really strange.
All the kids at this facility were good about doing what the adults told them. I suspected it was because they had a nagging fear of being abandoned again. But these two were the odd ones out, making bombs and climbing the walls to get into my hospital room, which was technically off-limits. Seriously, they were shockingly weird.
“And why are you looking at us like we wear you out, Nagisa?” Siesta shot me a cold, cross look.
“Oh, I was just thinking that kids are cute when they’re a handful.”
“…Of the three of us, I think I’m the most mature, you know.”
“Nana, did you just say I was cute? Eh-heh-heh, lookit, look! This dress is handmade!”
