Lucia is Afraid to Use Her Magic

In the end, Miss Maria didn’t eat that night. Though she had a few mouthfuls of porridge and soup at my insistence that she needed to get something in her, she quickly retired to the tent that Sir Celes and the others had set up.

Because we were both women, I’d been told we’d be sleeping in the same tent, but because I hadn’t yet thought of how to act around Miss Maria, I hesitated to enter. I kept thinking... What if the reason she said she wanted to be alone was because she didn’t want to see me?

As I cleaned up after dinner, that thought lingering in my mind, Eric came by in a wonderful mood, scale in hand.

“Lucia! Time for us to do some fun experiments! First, we’ll measure. Measure, use it normally, measure again, use it with my crystal, measure a third time... It’ll be easy!”

I had no idea what I should say to him. I did promise, and I put it off before by using dinner as an excuse. Once I finished cleaning up, I would have more than enough time to go along with his experiments. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back to the tent just yet, but quite honestly, I was hesitant about using Soap right now as well.

Up until now, I had always made someone happy by using my magic — they would be happy that their clothes were clean. Their smiles as they said their thanks were all I knew. I had never thought that my magic could harm anyone.

For the first time, I was afraid of using my powers.

“Um, I’m—”

“If you use a crystal, you won’t faint from purifying the Cristallo Sacro anymore! It’ll be a big help. It’ll be great!”

Eric was so excited about being able to experiment on my weird magic that he seemed to be speaking louder than usual. But he was right. It would be a good thing if purification wouldn’t cause me to faint. Purification wasn’t my job, though. It was Miss Maria’s. I wasn’t the Sacred Maiden. She was the one summoned here to take that role.

After I thought more about it, what I decided to do was...put the problem off again.

“Eric...why don’t we experiment some other time? I’m sorry for breaking my promise, but it’s dark already.”

I tried to refuse as calmly as possible. I hated how weak and ugly I was inside. Eric had been looking forward to it so much, but I just kept using excuses to hide my weakness. It was humiliating.

“Ah, you’re right, it’s getting hard to see. Yeah, it would be easier to observe if we did it in the light. We’ll do it some other day!” Eric nodded, unaware of how bad I felt. He waved, before turning to walk back to his tent, and I sighed.

After cleaning up the pot and utensils, I had nothing to do. Then, I remembered there was a spring nearby. Usually I would have been worried about doing laundry when there was nowhere to dry it, but today, my self-loathing made me really feel like washing clothes. I couldn’t just walk off without telling anyone, though, so I went to the campfire to tell Sir Gaius.

“Sir Gaius, I’m just going to go to the spring and do some laundry.”

“Don’t we have water here? It’s getting dark; you should stay close. But anyway, that cream cheese dip was delicious! Make it again sometime!”

Surprisingly, Sir Gaius had a sweet tooth. I had mixed up some cream cheese with nuts and dried fruit as a dip for the hard-baked bread, and he ate more than twice as much as the rest of us. He must really have liked it if he’s requesting it again!

“It seemed as if it fit His Highness’s tastes as well, so I probably will,” I replied.

“He’s a picky one. He should just eat what us commoners do.” Sir Gaius scowled, remembering how the prince refused to eat dried sausage and pushed his stir-fried vegetables to the side.

“He can’t help it. They wouldn’t eat preserved food in the palace.”

“But I’ll tell you, you’re a great cook. And His Highness’ll realize how good dried sausage is once he can drink. Although the cheap stuff is still bad!”

I had thought it was strange that he would request a meal, but it seemed Sir Gaius was trying to cheer me up. It warmed my heart and made me happy that he was thinking of me. Sir Gaius was amazing at things like that.

“Thank you very much,” I said with a smile.

“I haven’t done anything you should thank me over.” He gave an embarrassed laugh, and it made me laugh out loud as well.

“I’ll be going then.”

“Wait, wait, remember what I said?”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll be right back!”

“Reaaaaally? Hey, Cap’n!”

“Sir Gaius!?”

Arguing with him when he tried to stop me proved my undoing. Though I wasn’t sure if he did it so I’d get a talking to or another reason, but he called Sir Celes over.

I clammed up as Sir Gaius smiled at his prank. “Y-You didn’t have to call him over!”

“He’d want me to! I won’t worry about you being alone, you can do your laundry... Everyone wins!”

“I can go alone!”

“As your guardian, I can’t let you do that,” Sir Gaius retorted. “There are fewer people walking around outside of towns because of the monsters, but some still do. I’d be worried if some weirdo got to you again.”

I tried to refuse, but he warned me against it, using what happened in Amarith as an example. Being reminded of that incident once more, I did start feeling afraid of being alone.

“Couldn’t you come along, then?”

“Can’t. Too full.”

“Alright, then...”

While I went back and forth with Sir Gaius, Sir Celes finally made his way over.

“D’you need someth... What’s wrong, Lucia?” he asked.

“Ah, um, nothing is wrong.”

I didn’t want Sir Celes to see how I looked right now, so I looked away. Since he was so straightforward and wonderful, I wanted to do my best in front of him, too. I didn’t want him to see how ugly I was. I wouldn’t know what to do if he found out... Oooh, I shouldn’t have tried being so obstinate...!

Since I went silent, Sir Gaius called to Sir Celes, “C’mere Cap’n!” Sir Gaius pulled Sir Celes’s shoulder close, and they started talking, facing away from me.

After they whispered to each other for a while, they seemed to come to an agreement, and shook hands.

“Thanks, Gaius!”

“Treat me to a drink when we get back to Arldat.”

“Definitely!”

Watching them shake hands, I was confused. What just happened between them?

For some reason, Sir Celes turned back to face me with a brilliant, shining smile, saying something awful: “Let’s go, Lucia.”

It seemed as though he was coming along with me instead of Sir Gaius. But I couldn’t let him do that.

“Ah, um... I’ll go with... Oh, no, I’ll just not go...”

“I want to go. Okay? Okay!?”

“...Okay.” I tried to resist, but I was no match for Sir Celes’s pushiness. Taking the crystal lamp from my hand, he grabbed my other one, pulling me along. Hands! We’re holding hands! What do I do!?

“You aren’t cleaning them with your magic, huh?”

While I was nervous at our closeness, Sir Celes just continued the conversation as if nothing had happened. I wonder if he’s used to this... I looked at our linked hands. It felt as if my heart was beating in my palm. Could he tell I was nervous?

“Lucia?” Sir Celes spoke up, having noticed my lack of response.

“Ah. Er... I just thought that it would be best to clean what I could by hand first. My magic is handy, but I’m afraid I’d become reliant on it.”

“Haha, sounds just like you.”

We walked along, just chatting like that. It was pitch black around us, but the crystal lamp we had borrowed let us walk without any issues.

Oh, that’s right. A crystal lamp was a lamp with a fire crystal inside. Unlike a candle lamp, it lights up with just the flick of a switch. It was really convenient. I had only seen them used as street lights in Arldat, or lights in the castle, but using one myself showed just how nice they were. Unfortunately, though, fire crystals were expensive, so I would never be able to buy one myself!

Walking in the crystal lamp’s light, it was as if the darkness was being erased.

“Crystal lamps are so convenient,” I commented.

“Yeah, I’ve got one at home too. They’re handy, huh?”

He has one!

“But...” As I was shocked by the difference in our worlds, Sir Celes suddenly stopped. “Lucia, look.”

As soon as he said that, he turned off the lamp. The world slipped into darkness.

“See? The moon is beautiful,” he said, looking upwards.

“Wah!” Looking up too, I saw the sky full of stars.

The sight of it took my breath away. I had looked up at this sky every day when I lived in Hasawes. But Arldat was bright at night, so I hadn’t been able to see the starry sky since I moved there due to all the crystal lamps and watch fires.

“It’s just like what you said before, Lucia. Magic is handy, but if you rely too much on it... You miss out on little things like this.”

My heart dropped with a thump at his words. Missing out on the small things...

“That’s... right.”

Be it the stars. Be it small voices. Magic was convenient, but using it had made the important things nearly slip through my fingers.

I had been haughty. My Soap, that had only been useful for cleaning, was something that could purify the Cristallo Sacro that supported our world. And I had done just as I was asked. Even though there was someone else who should have done it, instead of supporting them, I had taken their place. The power that I tried to protect them with had instead hurt them. I thought that I had been careful, but before I knew it, I had become too used to using my magic. The realization embarrassed me.

My magic isn’t just for doing laundry now. I should have thought more about how I should use it.

“What should I do...” I whispered.

“Lucia?” Sir Celes asked, having heard me.

“It’s noth—”

“It’s something.” Sir Celes stopped next to me, and looked into my eyes. “Is it about the Sacred Maiden?”

He was sharp. I bit my lip, not wanting to respond. After a moment, I gasped, since he got it completely right.

“With that reaction, it must be, then.”

“H, How...”

While I was lost for words, he continued, “The Sacred Maiden was summoned to our world to purify the Cristallo Sacro. We stole her world from her. The whole reason she’s here is to purify them...”

His quiet voice overlapped with the murmuring of the stream.

“If someone being able to purify makes them a Sacred Maiden, you’re a Sacred Maiden too, Lucia. A Sacred Maiden from another world, and one from ours... She was brought here against her will while someone else here could have done it. Of course she’d be conflicted. And the same would go for you, unexpectedly being the reason it happened. Isn’t that why you’re acting strange right now?”