Chapter 19

Ever since my parents died, it was a secret no one had ever known. Even Jean didn’t know that I was a healing mage.

I don’t regret using my power to save Hector. But I hadn’t thought about what would come after.

「You are… a mage.」

Hector murmured that while staring blankly at his healed right arm. Mages were an endangered existence. If people found out, they could never live peacefully.

If I asked him, I thought he would keep quiet. But would he really? I had always believed people were blinded by the value of mages. If someone found out, I might be captured and sold, or feared for wielding power beyond human understanding, or conversely worshipped and exalted. None of those were the way I wanted to live.

(…I’m scared.)

I didn’t regret healing his injury, and yet the fact that he now knew, suddenly terrified me. I couldn’t imagine Hector doing anything cruel, and still, for some reason, I pictured him telling Ky about me, then deciding that a healing mage was different and locking me away.

「It’s a secret, alright? No one else knows. Please don’t tell Ky-sama either. It would be a problem if people found out, and I…」

I didn’t want to hear what Hector would say next, so the words spilled out one after another. I forced a bright smile onto my face, trying to keep my voice from trembling, trying not to let him notice my fear.

「Hey, Cyril-san. Don’t smile with such a look.」

Hector interrupted me, and he looked painfully sad. I could see the color of his emotions too, so I knew he truly was grieving. And even stronger than that sadness was the indigo of anxiety and worry, in this case, probably worry for me.

「I swear I won’t tell anyone, so don’t make that face. Please… don’t pull away from me.」

「…I… wasn’t trying to…」

「Then… will you sit beside me and talk?」

Apparently, at some point I had half-risen, poised to stand at any moment. I must have looked ready to flee.

There was no malice in the colors above his head. Even so, somewhere deep down, I still felt afraid. I moved away from the monster’s corpse and returned to the blanket to sit beside him, though I still left a little distance between us.

「I promise I’ll protect your secret. I keep my promises. A knight never takes back his word.」

「…I… see.」

「If I let something slip and someone finds out, they can be simply killed.」

「Huh…?」

Maybe I had misheard. I was sure I’d just heard something horrifying. When I cautiously looked up at his face, he was smiling very gently. Those were not words that should accompany an expression like that. Since I could still see the color of concern lingering over him, perhaps he thought he was making a joke to reassure me.

「It’s a secret you’re terrified of people learning about, right? Thank you… for using a power like that to save me. …So I’ll protect your secret with that level of resolve too.」

Ah. He was serious. Hector truly meant it. If he accidentally let it slip, he intended to take responsibility and erase the other person himself. He was saying he would go that far to keep my secret safe, so I could relax. The strength of his conviction made my throat tighten.

「You really don’t have to… go that far.」

「But you’re… afraid of me. I want you to believe that I will never become your enemy. When you make a face like that, it hurts so much I can barely stand it.」

Seeing him carrying both sadness and pain made my heart waver. Could I really trust him? Part of me believed Hector would be alright, while another part still doubted him, and I couldn’t find the right words. Maybe it was because my parents had always taught me this was something terrifying. Maybe it was because this was the first time anyone had found out. My feelings wouldn’t settle.

「Jean-san, was it? That person doesn’t know you’re a mage either?」

When I silently nodded, a small orange line of joy stretched out. The indigo beside it still hadn’t vanished, so he was clearly worried and yet somehow happy too. Confused by the strange reaction, I stared at him.

「It’s a secret only I know, after all, I absolutely wouldn’t want anyone else to know… just kidding. But really, I won’t tell anyone, so relax. Okay?」

He was trying to make light of it, but Hector was the kind of person who phrased things jokingly precisely when he truly meant them. Maybe he wanted to ease the tension too, but those words had revealed his real feelings.

And the pale blue-green color that flickered above him for an instant, that was a color I didn’t have very good associations with.

(Jealousy, possessiveness, obsession… I think it’s something around there.)

Women burdened with excessively heavy feelings of love sometimes carried that color along with the color of romance. Their worries were always about how to make the man theirs alone, and some would even say they wanted to lock him away. …In other words, it was a color I saw in people whose love had twisted into something unhealthy.

The pale blue-green vanished immediately, but Hector had definitely felt that emotion for a moment. Which meant it was probably true that he had no intention of telling anyone my secret.

(Because that color appeared… I can trust that he won’t tell anyone.)

That earlier extreme statement had been completely sincere too. Pale blue-green was that kind of emotional color. But precisely because of that, he would seriously hide it for me, and if the secret stayed safe, then no lives would be endangered either.

Relief loosened the tension in my shoulders now that I knew he was trustworthy. At the same time, it became painfully clear that if I handled things wrong, he was the sort of person whose feelings could spiral out of control, which gave me a completely different kind of headache. …Though because he was that kind of person, there was reassurance in knowing he would never leak my secret. In another sense, though, it was worrying. Or something like that.

(Yeah. But I’m not scared anymore. At least Hector-san is alright.)

It was enough that I could believe he wasn’t someone who would use the fact that I was a mage for his own purposes. Though I did feel like I might have stirred up feelings that really should have stayed buried. Still, compared to my secret being exposed, that was probably a trivial issue. …Probably.

Once I relaxed, I started feeling terribly guilty for hurting him. Because I acted outside the plan, the future had changed, and if not for magic, he would have lost his life, or at best, his right arm. I couldn’t help feeling responsible.

「…Your arm hurt, didn’t it? I’m sorry.」

「I don’t think that’s something you should apologize for.」

「No, it’s because I acted unexpectedly, so the future changed somehow… When I opened the lunchbox, the nearby monster probably caught the scent and came over.」

By chance, there happened to be a monster active during the day nearby, and on top of that, it was a wolf monster with a keen sense of smell. Monsters couldn’t use magic, but they had resistance to magical power, so the Shutom flowers didn’t confuse them. The monsters could clearly see us, while Hector couldn’t see the monsters at all. It really was the worst possible situation. Truly terrible luck.

「You said your foresight isn’t that convenient.」

「Yes. If someone changes their actions, the future can change as much as anything. I really shouldn’t have done something unexpected after all. I just thought it would be nice to eat lunch here…」

「I thought the same thing too. So it’s not your fault. I think the one to blame was luck.」

It was unbearable being comforted by the very person who got hurt. At the very least, I decided to try not to dwell on it outwardly.

After everything that had happened, I’d lost my appetite. Especially with the wolf’s corpse and the bloodstained flowers constantly flickering at the edge of my vision, I felt no hunger at all. Even though it was long past lunchtime.

「…Shall we go back to the gathering area and eat lunch?」

「You don’t want to gather herbs here anymore?」

「Well…」

Honestly, it just felt wrong. There was a monster’s corpse lying nearby, and another monster might come. If that happened, Hector might get hurt again. …At the moment, though, I couldn’t see any prediction lines for injuries.

「I can clearly see the white flowers now, so it’s alright.」

「Huh?」

「Maybe because you used magic on me. If something attacks now, I can properly protect you.」

I was shocked. Did healing magic also grant resistance to magical power? I didn’t know whether it would fade over time or remain permanently. I’d never used it on anyone besides my parents before, so I hadn’t known.

「This was a place you were looking forward to, Cyril-san, and even though there was a little accident, I still want you to enjoy it to the end.」

「A little accident…?」

「Yeah. You’re very responsible, so I know it bothers you that I got hurt… but honestly, I’m pretty happy about it.」

I didn’t think almost having your arm bitten off by a monster counted as a 「little accident,」 but Hector genuinely didn’t seem bothered. And judging by his colors, it was true that he was happy. …Was there really anything to be happy about? I felt a little, or rather, very, drained. This person really was strange.

Even so, I still hesitated. So after silently nodding, I pulled up several Shutom plants and returned.

「That’s all? Isn’t this a rare herb field?」

「Yes, it is, but… this time, just this much.」

「You don’t have to stop at such a small amount… hm? This time?」

Yes, this time. If I used the Shutom flowers, I should be able to make a special stimulant that resisted the hallucinations caused by them. If I had that, Hector wouldn’t be deceived by the flowers anymore.

Next time, we’d be completely prepared. I absolutely wouldn’t let him get hurt again, so when that time came,

「I’m going to make medicine that dispels Shutom hallucinations with this… so once it’s ready, would you come here with me again?」

I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy gathering herbs today anymore. But because Hector, the one who had actually been injured, wanted me to, I found myself able to think about a next time.

When I timidly looked up at him, his honey-colored eyes widened slightly in surprise before slowly turning away.

「…Ah, yeah, of course.」

His voice sounded normal as ever, but his prediction lines leapt upward in delight, so it seemed he truly was happy about my suggestion. The color of love stretched out again too, so somehow he liked me even more now, which was unexpected. Well, it wasn’t something I could have predicted. I genuinely didn’t understand what exactly made Hector fall for someone like me.

「Um… then shall we head back after dealing with the wolf?」

「Ah, that’s probably unnecessary.」

Hector tilted his head with an innocent expression despite his ears still being slightly red, and I explained one particular trait of Shutom.

Normally, Shutom’s hallucinogenic effect existed to keep living creatures away. However, weakened creatures were instead drawn toward it. Then, once lured into the Shutom flower field, they would collapse there and fall into eternal sleep.

「It quickly absorbs them as nutrients. If something stays motionless on top of Shutom for a while, roots begin to emerge and…」

「…Ugh.」

I’d been avoiding looking at the monster’s corpse, but Hector looked in that direction, let out a sound, and then forced a smile onto his face. The demonic flowers must have started moving to root themselves into the corpse. A faint lavender color of fear stretched out slightly.

「…Yeah, I definitely don’t feel like eating lunch here now.」

「Yes. So let’s go back and eat today.」

「Yeah. Right.」

By the next time we came here, the wolf would surely be gone without a trace, and there would be even more Shutom flowers blooming. While Hector washed the blood from his arm in the lake, I packed away the blanket and everything else we had spread out.

The return trip was easy since we only had to follow the marks we’d left on the trees. As long as we carefully watched our surroundings so we didn’t miss the marks, we wouldn’t get lost.

Once we returned to the gathering area, we finally had lunch as originally planned. Seeing the sandwiches with a wider variety of fillings than before, Hector happily started eating them, and I felt relieved.

「Yeah. The ones you make really are the best.」

「You said you liked these, so I prepared all kinds of things… I’m glad you seem happy with them.」

I’d put him through something terrible, but if he truly didn’t mind and was happy, then that was good. We’d come out to have fun today after all, so it would be a waste not to enjoy ourselves.

I was absentmindedly thinking that using fried meat as a filling had been the right choice while biting into a sandwich when Hector suddenly looked up as though struck by inspiration and said:

「Cyril-san, will you marry me?」

「Ngghg…」

That skipped way too many steps. Startled, I nearly choked to death on my sandwich.